Laa Laa is a formidable member of the Teletubbies to be sure, but she won’t be able to beat Jack Sparrow! Jack is a notorious pirate and he’s not the kind of guy who loses a fight…or at least not to a Teletubby. He still has his gun and his knife/sword so he’s properly equipped to handle the average opponent. This is how he became the Captain after all! Jack Sparrow wins.