Sword Art Online Progressive Canon of The Golden Rule Review

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It’s time for another Sword Art online Progressive title. This one has the characters going through a bit more of a peaceful adventure for once. The first volume has a big fight but after that it is more about setup. The pacing can feel a bit odd for this one but I suppose that’s eventually bound to happen when you have a short manga spinoff for each adventure. These 2 volumes have to try their best to tell a complete story which isn’t easy since there is no ending yet. It’s probably one of the most sudden endings you will see in a manga, outside of titles that were literally cancelled.

The title starts with Kirito and Asuna continuing to gradually climb up the tower. They are doing it at their own pace though and for now feel no pressure to join the advance army. They will continue with their dark elf quest as well as take in the sights. Kirito and Asuna even get to check out some new food at a ritzy restaurant. Unfortunately journeys in SAO are never without some kind of danger and a random side quest ends up putting them in the crosshairs of the PKers.

I gotta say this felt a bit sloppy for Kirito. Now, I get that you can’t be paranoid 100% of the time about people trying to show up and murder you but agreeing to do a side quest where you get paralyzed for a while is a pretty bad idea. I blame the devs for this as well since you should at least make sure that the NPCs are near invincible to protect the players. They get easily crushed by the PKers who aren’t even at a super high level yet.

Relatively speaking, this is pretty early on in the SAO adventure after all. So Kirito gets some heat from me for doing the quest but the game itself gets some heat for having a quest that puts you in such danger. I expected better from Kayaba, the creator of the game. Naturally there are a lot of people who would want to be PKs who target other players and so you have to account for them. If the game didn’t have real life death stakes, it would even just be something that people do for fun since that is a legitimate way to play the game.

Otherwise Kirito looks good throughout the adventure. He really tries his best to always protect Asuna and also respecting her boundaries. She tends to blow up at him quite a lot because the two of them get into a lot of dicey situations but that’s not even his fault. I would say that she’s slightly improving in that regard but not by a lot. She is still not being reasonable at all. Her worst moment aside from picking on Kirito is when she stops him from finishing off the assassin.

You need to keep in mind that this assassin has been following them across floors and revels in murdering folks. Letting him stay alive will mean the death of other players. Sure, Asuna may not end up meeting those other players but they will still die all the same. I thought it was extremely selfish to let him live. Kirito listens to her because at the end of the day he will always defer to Asuna but that was not a good decision. It’s not like the series even has much of a jail. We know from the main series that there will eventually be a big confrontation to wipe them all out but it’s hard to say how far in the future that is.

You need to enjoy that PK fight from the first adventure as well because once that’s over, there are really no more big fight scenes. The fight was really good too so it leaves you wanting more. The artwork has been consistently solid for most of the SAO titles and this one is no exception. There is a lot of attention to detail and the choreography is on point. The backgrounds and characters are all drawn well too.

Unfortunately this also means that the series can’t resist the urge to throw in a bunch of fanservice in the second volume. A good chunk of the conversations take place in the hot springs and character keeps forgetting where they are and stand up to talk. Those scenes could have definitely been cut out. It’s a shame because Kizmel is a solid ally who always shows up to help the main characters but she is inevitably used for fanservice. I can’t think of a time where she showed up to help without that quickly becoming the case. It’s like a destiny that she simply can’t get away from.

Regardless, she is a good character though and deserves better. Based on how her plot ends, I assume she will be returning in a future arc. She is going off alone to fight powerful NPCs but in theory the game’s story wouldn’t have her just die off screen right? It’s hard to say because NPCs can absolutely die out of nowhere but it would feel like a rather cruel plot. As for Kirito and Asuna, they’ll have plenty more adventures to go. I believe the characters beat the game on the 70th floor and they’re still around 6 so there are plenty of other floors to complete. At this rate I feel like this series will never end unless the author significantly picks up the pace.

It also feels like the series is using the Dark Elf questline as the overarching plot of the series. This may not be a good idea as it never seemed all that interesting to me. Even here there is a lot of lore about it and their enemy in the war but you’re just not all that invested. Perhaps you can say that about any NPC quest but this one just doesn’t have much of a hook. You care about Kizmel but that’s about it. It’s interesting to see her gaining skills whenever Kirito shows her a new move so you can do a fun plot like that. Maybe she survives longer than she should because of it and it changes the pre set route of the quest.

I’d personally rather have the PK gang be the main plot but I suppose they constantly show up so they may as well be. Those confrontations always have way more tension and the stakes are just higher. Admittedly it is annoying that they always catch Kirito when he’s paralyzed or can’t move but surely that has to end by the next round. Their poison pick also seems pretty OP in this game. The way Kirito acts, it would drain all of your health very quickly which is not something you ever really see in these RPGs. Kayaba may need to rebalance that.

Overall, This is a very quiet SAO title. It makes for a quick read and is easy to blast through but does fall into some easy pitfalls like the fanservice. I also would have appreciated more action but the banter between Kirito and Asuna is always good. He can’t resist messing with her like with the ghosts and she’s always beating him up for being in an inconvenient place at the wrong time. For some the relationship may be a bit too toxic but it’s always in good fun. It does make Asuna look bad to an extent but if Kirito doesn’t mind then you don’t mind as much either. This might be it for Progressive for a while but I’ll definitely be back as soon as another one comes out.

Overall 5/10

101 Dalmatians Review

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It’s time to look at the live action version of 101 Dalmations. It’s definitely quite a bit different than the animated one and is essentially everything you expect from a 90s live action adaption. There is a ton of slapstick and the film has the subtlety of a sledge hammer. You either enjoy this style or you will find it obnoxious real fast. Fortunately I have a pretty high tolerance for the slapstick. The film ends up being a bit of an ironic watch at times so I can’t say that it’s genuinely funny but it’s also pretty harmless. It’s the kind of film I can watch any time but there will always be better alternatives to check out instead.

The movie starts with Roger’s dog falling for one that he met in the park. So he takes Roger on a rapid bike ride until they bump into the other owner. Anita takes a liking to Roger as well so the two of them get married right away. Their dogs have a ton of puppies and it looks like they are really going to live happily ever after. Well, that would have been the case but that’s when Cruella steps in. She intends to turn the dogs into a coat since she likes the spots that Dalmations have. She summons her 3 underlings and they get to work. Can Roger and Anita stop these guys?

The answer to that is no. Roger and Anita are pretty much helpless throughout the film. If you were hoping that they would be boxing the villains, think again. The only ones the dogs can count on are other dogs to spread the word and tip off the cops. Roger and Anita mostly are just stuck at home wishing that they could have done something. There’s a lot of blame to go around in terms of the kidnapping in the first place but it all comes down to the housekeeper for the biggest share.

I’m guessing it’s a super safe area but it was still rough to see her just opening the door without checking to see who was there. She lets the kidnappers in real easily and is then overpowered. These are not the smartest villains either as they are the main comic relief throughout the film. It is really rough to be losing to them in any context. At least I will say that the burglars made for a solid duo. The serious one got in some good lines and there was at least some effort put into the humor there.

Cruella is of course the main villain that everyone remembers and she does well too. She’s just not making direct moves in the same way. She mostly coordinates the attack from the shadows and comes up with the big plans. You won’t see her actually out there fighting. Cruella still isn’t spared from the comedy though as the whole climax has her getting badly beaten in a lot of different ways. You can bet that this is the kind of film that is also having a lot of fun with the visual gags in addition to slapstick.

One thing that the film could have leaned into a lot more was how Roger was a video game developer. Have him figure out where the villains are hiding based on what he would do in the game. Then you could have him and Anita being the ones to try and save the day. It would be considerably more interesting to have them be the leads. The film was going for the animals being the ones to save the day but since they can’t talk, it’s not quite as engaging. The main characters should not be the most forgettable parts of the film.

I’m also a bit surprised that they had the animals not be able to talk in this version because it feels like something that would not have been strange for a live action film. We’d already had the Homeward Bound series by this point after all. I’ve always been a big advocate for more dialogue being a good thing and this film is no exception. Having more dialogue would have been a good thing here. It’s not like the writing was stellar but it would still give the film a little more depth.

Finally the film is going for some intentional cringe during the adventure so you just have to decide if it’s too much for you or if it’s the right amount. Roger and Anita are both rather terrible at flirting and so their brief scenes can go on a bit long. You’re surprised that they even get together with how bad their first encounter was. Then you naturally have the film throwing in some crude humor like a skunk and excessive dog licking. Your tolerance will be tested here.

I would still say that the film has more good things going for it than bad but it is fair to say that this is a bit of an obnoxious film. It’s the kind of title that is really made for kids but overdoes it quite a bit so I don’t think it would be very popular with them as well. While Cruella may have gotten really popular, I’m not sure if I would have been completely sold from this film. I suppose the gag of everyone being terrified of her was one of the better ones in the film. It’s just really brief since we don’t spend much time at her company. If anything I would have liked to have seen more of Cruella at her day to day business. Show her crushing dreams and getting lots of wins before turning her attention to the Dalmatians.

Overall, I’d say this is a pretty reasonable film. It’s not one that I’m likely to pick out to watch on my own but if it’s on TV I wouldn’t mind it for background noise. The characters aren’t bad and the pacing is decent. I would say the main problem for 101 Dalmatians is that it’s just trying way too hard with all of the gags. Sometimes you can brute force a joke into working but that wasn’t the case here. If the film was half as funny as it thought it was, then this would be a completely different experience. We’ll see if the sequel is able to top this one at some point.

Overall 6/10

Heavenly Sword Review

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Heavenly Sword is a video game that was a lot of fun to play but you’d never have expected it to get a movie as well. They were really confident that this could be the next big franchise and unfortunately that was not in the cards. It makes for a solid action movie but there isn’t a lot to it beyond that. It has some ups and downs but all in all I would still say that this one gets a thumbs up.

The movie starts by explaining that there was supposed to be a chosen warrior who would save his humble village from an impending invasion. Unfortunately for the king, he gives birth to a daughter instead and is now completely distraught. He considers her to be a failure and doesn’t even bother to train her. Sure enough, King Bohan and his army show up to murder everybody and now there is nobody left to fight him. Nariko does her best but the sheer numbers are much too vast and so she is forced to flee with her friend Kai. They have to try and find Nariko’s long lost brother Loki who may be the chosen hero of legend. Finding him will not be easy.

Now right away you may be wondering how Nariko is able to fight at such a high level if she never trained. Well, it turns out that one of the king’s advisors trained her anyway and that was a smart move. She is one of the only people able to fight off the invaders. She probably beats over 50 of them as the film goes on and that’s probably undercounting the effort. Her skill with the blade is unmatched and she also has a strong personality. Nariko is easily one of the highlights of the film and always has a biting remark for the characters around her.

Her father deserved every one of those comments because he is just a lousy character from start to finish. The film even takes him down a darker route than I remember from the games but it probably just stands out more in a movie. He really kept trying to have a proper heir and abused his power in order to do it. There’s just no way to root for him by that point. Most of the folks in the village are also hard to root for. How do you have bullies running around in a village that must always be prepared for life or death fights? There just aren’t a lot of survival skills here.

The only good ally Nariko had was Kai. Kai looks excellent here as she takes out numerous fighters with her crossbow. It was really impressive to see and this may be the first title that gives proper respect to how important it is to have an archer. Particularly in the olden days where there were no guns, it makes sense that arrows would be overpowered. Kai is able to stay at a distance and pick off foes left and right. Her skill with the bow is also unreal. I was always glad to see her at the ready and it makes a difference having at least one ally. Nariko’s journey would have been a lonely one otherwise.

There is also her brother Loki but due to how the plot is set up, the guy doesn’t show up for very long. I immediately liked him though. The guy had a strong sense of self importance without being arrogant and was also quick on the uptake. He wasn’t the kind of guy who was going to just stay back and watch how things played out. He even hit the He Man pose briefly to show off his power. I would have liked to have seen more of him but he was definitely fun.

As for the main villain Bohan, he’s mainly here to serve as an antagonist to defeat. There’s not much to him beyond being the King. He’s a powerful fighter thanks in part to his contract with a demon but the movie doesn’t go into this very much. So if you haven’t played the game then it’s going to feel a bit random but still makes for a fun fight. His henchmen were also pretty tough even if the film had to go through them quickly. The guy with the shimmering wings was particularly powerful and was probably the strongest character in the film, at least not counting end level power ups.

The guy really dealt a lot of damage too. This is one of those films that doesn’t hold back with the body count and it’s not a happy adventure by any means. It felt like every character was doing their best to make Nariko’s life as miserable as possible. I would have liked for their to have at least been a happier ending. It’s the kind of ending that just hurts replay value for this film all the way.

As far as the graphics go, it looks a lot like the video game. I’ve always been cool with this kind of CG. It’s not going for a very life like approach and doesn’t have the top level production values but I always enjoy video games. So this style is just nostalgic and still works for all of the fights. Otherwise the film would be in trouble because the film is essentially a collection of nonstop fight scenes. They just keep on coming over and over.

The battles can be rather violent as the film isn’t holding back on the bloodshed. Every character is fighting to kill after all so there is no room for holding back or taking the enemies alive. This is a war after all. Unfortunately the characters also go after the horses but at least the film doesn’t focus on that too much. Those scenes never get particularly brutal which may be an animation limitation but I’ll accept that. No matter how it happened, the film avoided getting bogged down in animal violence which is really important.

The movie is also really quick so the pacing is on point. How much you enjoy the film will likely be based around how much you enjoy the fights. To be honest the plot often takes a backseat here. It’s fairly straight forward after all so the rest of the runtime is padded out by the battles. It’s always fun to see Nariko crushing her opponents and if anything you just wish she could jump in sooner to save others. The amount of people who die in this film is crazy but it definitely establishes why an invasion is so scary.

Overall, I would recommend this film if you enjoy the Dynasty Warriors kind of title. This takes place in the pre electronics days and has nonstop action. As long as that sounds like it is up your alley then you will be having a good time here. If you’re looking for a very deep and nuanced story about trying to live up to expectations then this isn’t the right film for you. It’s not going for any deep themes but I don’t consider that to be a negative. Having a good main duo helps out a lot as well so Nariko and Kai really help the film to have a good dynamic going on.

Overall 7/10

Lego One Piece Review

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It’s actually been quite a while since my last Lego adventure. Netflix has really been trying to push the live action One Piece series so it makes sense that they would throw some legos into the mix though. It feels a little more standard than the average Lego adventure so I would have liked them to go a bit more crazy but on the whole it is still entertaining enough. This works as a fun recap for folks who want to jump right into season 3 when it comes out instead of going through the entire first two seasons.

The story begins with Usopp deciding to tell Chopper all about the adventures that they have all had. That’s the main framing device for these two lego adventures. Usopp is a chronic liar naturally so Chopper consistently has to correct him on everything. Usopp eventually stops messing around as much so we get the true story of how Luffy and his friends successfully defied the government and fought with big shots like Arlong and his pirates. They even got to go up against Crocodile’s organization and fought several of the numbers.

You’ll naturally get more out of this if you’re already a big fan of the series but I’d say that it is approachable for anyone. At its core this is an adventure about friendship and the characters deciding to help people while still keeping some of their selfish pirate tendencies. Zoro is still the best member of the main characters with how well he can fight. The guy keeps everyone in check and is someone that you can really rely on. He may lose to Mihawk at one point but anyone would have lost that fight as well.

The humor is generally on point. It’s not really laugh out loud funny but the characters are having a good time as they banter with each other. I enjoyed the lego graphics well enough as well and the pacing is good. This adventure is essentially getting through two seasons in two episodes which is not an easy feat. So there is a lot of credit to give there. They also grabbed the music from the Netflix show so you definitely feel the synergy all the way.

So in the end what’s the problem? Well the issue you may feel beneath the surface is just that it can feel a bit empty. I already mentioned this a bit before with how I wished they had done more with the Legos but this remake feels a bit to serious to me. It’s sort of like a corporate version of the Lego title if that makes sense. I think this is something where they should have gotten some huge fans of the series to come in and throw a bunch of inside jokes at the audience. Stuff that most people wouldn’t really get but would still help take this to the next level. At least I feel like that could have worked out really well.

Lego adventures are often remakes so it’s not like this is anything new but they always add something. I would even argue that the inside jokes and references are what make the Lego adventures stand out in the first place. If you’re going to do a tight 1-1 remake then that almost defeats the purpose. The adventure does change things for a few seconds when Usopp starts lying but he is always corrected too quickly. I would have made things feel like much more of an AU. We get one thing like that with Sanji being included in a scene where he shouldn’t be due to time constraints but that’s a little too minor. Still, you could end up nitpicking this all day so the point I’m making is they should have just had more fun with this. It’s not to say that this is an extremely serious special as there is a good amount of humor but it feels really confined. Almost like the writers were trapped in a room with a bunch of corporate suits the whole time.

This is still One Piece and the core story is still fun to watch. I enjoyed the fights with Arlong and Mihawk. I would definitely play a video game in this style. I’m sure the combat would be a blast and I really do need to pick up more Lego games in general. They are fun once I am going through them, I guess they just tend to lose out to most of the other genres. Lego games are more on the basic side but I have yet to play a bad one.

Seeing the live action characters briefly is also a good teaser for season 3. It sure feels like a long time since season 2 aired so it’ll be good to be getting more content there. I am also the king of saying that every series should be milked as much as possible so I certainly won’t turn down spinoffs like this. Keep them coming is what I say!

As I wind down this review it is fair to say that Buggy really outshone Luffy once again though. He was dominating him initially and then would have destroyed him in the rematch if not for other characters stepping in. His devil fruit really is a hard counter to Luffy’s and at this point Luffy doesn’t have the power to stop him. At least based on this lego adventure you probably can’t even imagine Luffy becoming King of the Pirates. He just isn’t ready for that but at least he has enthusiasm all the way.

Overall, There just wasn’t a whole lot to talk about on this one. It’s a great alternative for kids to check out if they don’t have time for the main show and it naturally does work well as a recap if you don’t remember what happened in the first two seasons. I see this as an aid in that sense and it feels more like that than as a complete product this time around. As long as you enjoy One Piece then I can recommend this one. I’m guessing they’ll do another one for season 3 at some point so I’ll definitely return. Of course I think it would be even more fun if they decide to do a stand alone adventure instead. There are unlimited situations you can do with these characters after all.

Overall 6/10

The Entertainer Review

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The Entertainer is one of those films that goes a little too far in trying to show just how corrupt folks can become in show business. Ultimately the characters still need to take accountability for their own actions so I wouldn’t purely blame the job space. It’s definitely not a happy film by any means and after a while the constant sadness just overwhelms the rest of the movie. There isn’t a whole lot to enjoy here.

The film starts off by introducing us to Jean who has just had a big fight with her boyfriend. He doesn’t take her work seriously and is always taking shots at it. Now he has a big job opportunity which would force him to move far away. He wants her to come but Jean isn’t thrilled at the prospect. Instead she returns to her old home to visit her family but finds that they are not doing well at all. Her father Archie has really been bombing out at his latest comedy performances and the family is really poor right now. All they can count on is each other but is even that true?

The first problem with the film is that there are no good characters. The worst one right away is Archie for obvious reasons. The guy is cheating on his wife and makes bad decision after bad decision. He doubles down on basically everything with absolutely 0 remorse. You would think that with the stakes this high he would find some way to make ends meet but he does the opposite. Phoebe’s family is ready to offer him a job at any point but his pride forces him to refuse. Archie will live or die by his show business.

That may be a find attitude to have if you’re single but it is beyond selfish when you have a family that is depending on you. It’s not really a surprise that people wouldn’t enjoy his act because it seemed rather dreadful to me. There’s just nothing to it and you’ll be left shaking your head the whole time. Even the quick portions we see in the movie are more head scratching than anything else. Archie still makes promises that he can’t keep and loses even more money.

Usually you put a character in a tough bind so that the audience can feel sympathy for him but again, the guy’s a cheater. There is no sympathy to be had and if anything you’re rooting for his ruination. Then you have his son Frank who is essentially closing his eyes to the whole thing. He is content to just get drunk every day and support his parents. He doesn’t want to think about anything else and just stays out of the way so he is a classic case of being an enabler. When Jean tries to talk to Archie, Frank even runs interference.

Meanwhile Phoebe is another character who is essentially closing her eyes to what is happened. She puts up with a whole lot of grief from Archie who is constantly picking on her. Throw in the fact that she is really worried about her kid who is off in the war and it has not been a happy journey for her either. There are no real winners here. Now why doesn’t Jean rank so highly?

Well, she became complicit the moment that she found out Archie was cheating and didn’t say anything. Obviously it’s a hard topic to broach but she needed to come down hard on him or get out of there. Then when her boyfriend shows up, she basically tells him to leave because she needs to handle this on her own. With both of them always on different sides, I’m not sure how long their relationship is going to last. Jean got herself in the middle of a whole lot of family drama and that was definitely not a good thing. She needed to stay out or get in there and do something. Instead she’s just another passive observer.

The only one who really did something was Billy and the characters really get on his case for it. He’s archie’s father and finds out about the affair/false promises and decides to spill the beans. This causes a whole lot of drama and tough circumstances for Archie but that’s sort of the idea. Billy acts surprised at just how drastic it all gets but it shouldn’t have been a surprise. At the same time, he should have been happy about this because it really put a pin in that sub plot.

Things don’t go very well for him in the end. Billy tried his best but was just too old by this point. I understand that he wanted to help his son here but still should have let Archie dig himself out. It’s hard when you see a family member slipping to the dark side but if you try to help, the most likely outcome is that you’ll end up falling as well. That’s really the obvious ending to this kind of problem.

I dare say one improvement to the film would have been having Jean trying to fix things the whole time. Perhaps trying to redeem Archie, trying to get Phoebe to be more proactive, etc. Then as the film goes on she realizes that none of these attempts are working. So when her boyfriend shows up, Jean just leaves with him. That would have made for a more interesting plot and would have made her more likable as the lead. It’s really the best balance you could hope for. After all when the topics got serious here, the characters were quick to treat her coldly. Phoebe talking about how Jean isn’t her direct daughter, Archie just waving her off, etc. While we didn’t have much time for the boyfriend to reflect on his actions from the opening, we can assume that they are still okay. Jean’s side job will just be something that the two of them will continue to argue about probably even after they get married. It’s a bit of a red flag but could be worse.

Overall, I would say that this was just not a good film. It’s incredibly hard to make a good film with bad characters. I’m not saying that it is absolutely impossible but it is certainly difficult enough where I’m surprised whenever it works out. You’re just waiting for the cops to catch up and take this guy away. Archie shouldn’t have tried forcing his way through a business where he had lost the talent many years ago. Perhaps he could have trained himself into learning new skills and being a success again but then his ego was the other problem. Archie seemed to think that he was doing a fine job and so he didn’t need to learn any new tricks. Rookie mistake to be honest. The most tragic thing is that almost any of the other characters would have been more interesting as the lead.

Overall 3/10

Enchanted April Review

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It’s time for one of those films that doesn’t sound very interesting at first glance but maybe it could surpass that? Unfortunately that was not in the cards this time. The character cast is on the weaker side and there just isn’t a lot going on here. The film moves at a fairly slow pace and so the characters would have been its only chance at success.

The movie starts off with Lotty suggesting to one of her fellow club members (Rose) that they should rent a castle. It’s a rather impulsive thought but she saw an ad for this in the newspaper. Lotty has not been very consistent with her life at the moment as it’s rather boring and her husband is always running around to parties and trying to meet all of the bigwigs. Rose isn’t having a great time either as her husband is always writing nsfw books and doesn’t put her as his #1 priority. After some convincing, Rose agrees but a castle will be too expensive. SO they enlist an older lady named Mrs. Fisher and the rich Lady Dester to accompany them. The 4 of them will enjoy a month away from men and the outside world in general. Will they have fun or will they begin to miss their old lives?

It’s an interesting idea although I would argue that if you need a month away from your husband than the marriage was already very weak. You don’t need time away when you are having a good time after all. The husbands do not look good at all so this does track. That is why Lotty seems very annoying to me. If I were the other characters I’d be super upset because she suddenly decides to invite her husband over after just a few days.

Yes, the characters had previously agreed that they could each invite someone over but the fact that the one who suggested the idea was the first to cave is terrible. Lotty isn’t really up for discussing the matter either and just launches forward. The film shows that she is rather crazy the whole time but it turns this from being a quirk into a totally negative trait. You’re rooting against Lotty by this point. It’s just incredibly insensitive and I was not able to get past this even to the end of the film.

Sure enough, her husband shows up and immediately makes it clear that he is here to make connections. He gives some back handed complements like he’s surprised at how Lotty has such influential friends. The guy ends up not being too much of a nuisance but it still changes the vibe. You can’t be quite as free and one with nature if there’s another guy around. It’s just a matter of decorum.

Lotty then also pressures Rose to do the same thing and that so her husband shows up as well. This guy is basically showing up to see Dester and of course has been living a double life. This is a rather huge issue but the film basically shoves it to the side and he never has to pay for these issues. It would be one thing if the husband was keeping a second identity to not be connected to the book but the film makes it clear that he is really doing this to get with the ladies. The guy is not loyal and shouldn’t have been invited to this event.

Rose wasn’t the best character either but at least she wasn’t out there betraying her husband. Her main failing is that she is too easy to pressure. She is basically forced into the castle plan and from there on she rarely has enough strength to make her own decisions. She always ends up listening to Lotty and the others. Even by the end of the film I don’t think she ever really came into her own.

Lester has a tough time of it as she came to the castle for a peaceful adventure and yet everyone is always bothering her. She really doesn’t get a whole lot of peace and quiet to herself at all. I also thought she had the best plan of action for the castle which was just to relax by herself. That was the whole point of the trip and it wasn’t supposed to be about having lots of mandatory activities and bonding. This is a vacation, not work. The others worry about every little thing while Lester sees the bigger picture. She was easily the best character here.

Then we have the older lady Mrs. Fisher. She was a fun character. At first she tried to really dominate the rest but once that didn’t work, she calmed down quickly. She is big on traditions and so it takes a while to really learn how to relax. Still, Fisher pulls it off and gets along with the other characters. She doesn’t have as much of a trial to get over so her role felt a bit smaller even if I feel like the screentime was probably roughly on point with the other characters.

Ultimately the film’s biggest problem is just that it’s rather boring. Nothing is really happening and so that’s why you have to be on board with the characters. Since the characters are on the weaker side then there wasn’t much that could really be done to save the adventure. From that point on, the film was doomed.

I can respect the intention of the film which is that this grand castle was able to save both marriages and show the other characters how to be happy but the way it played out wasn’t very believable. It just felt like the characters needed more time to develop these subplots and the film was already pretty long. It would have been better for the film to have just been about the 4 ladies and how they are completely different but still manage to come together in the end. The castle could have been about how they all forgot their outside selves and just had fun.

If you really wanted to include the husbands on this trip, then they should have been introduced as better characters. You could have easily still had the wives feeling dissatisfied with their lives without making the husbands quite as bad. For example maybe both of them were spending so much time at work that they felt neglected. Instead by introducing them as antagonists, it meant that the redemption arc was not going to be very satisfactory or paced well in comparison. I feel like the film tried to have some funny moments with both of them so they wouldn’t feel quite as much like villains but it did not work at all.

Overall, This is the kind of film that doesn’t even really work as background noise. It’s not making a significant amount of problems during the run but isn’t really keeping your attention either. I can’t say that I would enjoy spending a month at the castle very much. I would definitely find ways to make the days pass by quickly but give me my own bed any time. Now spending that time with 3 people that I really don’t know very well? Yeah that would be even rougher. This does not feel like a very calming experience at all. The whole film is hard to relate to and isn’t executed well. There are just so many better ways you could have handled the story to make the film more interesting because I could definitely handle a film about the characters bonding. They really needed to make Lotty a more likable character though, she was chaotic in all the worst ways. Well, if you’ve ever really wanted to be in a castle then maybe you should check it out.

Overall 4/10

Castlevania: Belmont’s Curse Review

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It’s time for a new Castlevania adventure. It’s sure been a while since we got the last one so I had to pre order this right away. I haven’t been a fan of the series since it started though, I really just got into it recently thanks to all of the collections that came out. I was curious how this one would handle quality of life features and things like that. Well, I can happily say that this title really stuck the landing in every way possible. The graphics and gameplay are extremely smooth and the Metroidvania or should I say Castlevania elements are as good as ever. You feel stronger as you traverse the castle with your level ups and power ups. Additionally you have the roguelite elements here where you can die anywhere and it warps you to your last respawn point. You never lose any progress.

That’s right, you don’t lose any currency, exp, items, etc. That takes a load off of you because now you can just enjoy the adventure. You can take more risks and fight really aggressively with the knowledge that you will return. I absolutely understand how some wouldn’t like that but personally I think this was a great way to approach the game. As you play, you will continue learning the enemy movements and will be dying less and less.

The general plot sees Rose and her father summoned to Paris. Dracula is about to return and as the last Belmonts it is their job to destroy him. Unfortunately it won’t be easy as Dracula’s minions are all assembled to stop any invaders. Rose has always had the potential to be the next most powerful Belmont but she will have to realize that potential right now. There is no further time for training or preparation. Along the way she can capture any boss that she defeats which forces them to be her allies and use their abilities in her service.

This also makes for some pretty nice banter. Like Medusa intentionally giving the wrong advice all the time. She may be forced to help Rose physically but verbally there is no such requirement. That was a nice change of pace. The story is definitely solid with a lot of great voice acting all the way. Dracula and Death make for really solid villains as always. They really have the personality and aura farming down as a fine art.

The visuals are also really good. The backgrounds really pop out at you and the main art style is fairly similar to Hades. It may not match that legendary title but rather than be a knock against the game, I would say that it is a pretty good copy. The game also has a few cinematics which are solid and multiple endings which is always a lot of fun. Even after you beat the game, there are plenty of routes for replay value as you try to get to the true ending. Don’t expect this to be a quick journey.

As mentioned before, the gameplay is super good. It feels very satisfying to be crushing all of the enemies that get in your way. Additionally the various movement options like air dashing means that the rooms never feel too large. There are quite a lot of platforming traps along the way too. More so than in any other Castlevania game so I hope you are good at jumping around. If you’ve played Mario Maker then that will definitely help. The game doesn’t hold your hands as all here.

Now at one point there started to be a few puzzles and I was getting worried but then they vanish as quickly as they show up. They are mainly present in the astrology chapter and I gotta say those puzzles were a little too complicated. I just had to spend a grinding session trying all star alignments until I got to the answer. I still don’t get what they were talking about with the picture hints. Yeah this game should stick to the combat.

My favorite weapon to use was the cross that you throw forward but gradually I had to start using the fire blast because of how many aerial foes there were. My favorite item to have equipped on hand was the quick sword but then I stuck to the whip as soon as I unlocked that. The game goes out of its way to make this the strongest weapon in the game and that makes sense. The whole franchise is built upon that assumption after all. If the Belmonts didn’t have the whip then the world would be in a much more dangerous spot.

The music is definitely great as well. You’ve got several remixes here in addition to the original tunes. I would say the original tunes are where the game really shined. I enjoyed the Paris backdrop quite a lot. It’s very mysterious which makes sense with how it has been taken over by the villains. This could easily be leveraged into a whole new saga of games depending on how the true ending wraps things up. I would be eager to play another installment and hope I don’t have to wait 5-10 years for that.

I will say, this might be the only game I can think of where the intangibility item is basically pointless. Usually that is one of the strongest abilities since you can walk through everyone but instead it has way too many limitations. Certain objects can hurt you anyway and some bosses can bypass it as well. What is the point in that case? It feels like the kind of item that may have been broken initially and then there was an overcorrection so it ended up being pointless. Ah well, there are plenty of other ways to get really powerful in this game but that just stood out.

You probably just need to try out all the abilities to see which ones are your favorite. In that way the early abilities will always have an advantage because you get them so early that you become used to them. Later on in the game you get a blood ability which is pretty handy. I used it to beat one boss but otherwise I stuck to the older ones. I dunno, they just felt more natural to me by that point.

Overall, Castlevania really returned with a vengeance here. The game is absolutely terrific and I am definitely glad that I got to be here day 1. It’s the kind of title that is just really fun to play and I give credit to the devs for making everything so intuitive. The menus have a great UI, the consistent save points are also well spaced, and the game is a lot of fun to play. There are no real slow points where you want to put the game down for a while. The pacing is always high and there is a lot of bonus content to keep you around. This one has a good bang for your buck and is a terrific title. I highly recommend picking it up.

Overall 8/10