The Exorcist: Believer Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the movie. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

The Exorcist is one of those film series that has never been able to turn out a decent product. It’s not surprising though because there’s just not much that you can even do with the genre. Each film is about a demon showing up and the humans are basically powerless against him. There is no real way to stop this guy without losing a lot of people in the process and this film is more of the same. It’s a rather gritty adventure without much of a happy ending for the characters to hang their hat on.

The film starts off by introducing us to Victor who lost his wife due to an earthquake but the baby was delivered safely. Years have passed and Victor has done his best to raise Angela. One day she heads off with her friend Katherine to dabble in the dark arts and naturally this does not go well. They go missing for 3 days and when they return, the girls appear to be acting strangely. It’s as if a demon has possessed them and now an exorcist will be needed. Can an exorcist handle this powerful demon?

In these films the random demons always tend to overpower the exorcists. At this point it’s almost a surprise that they haven’t all been run out of town. Victor is highly skeptical of all religions now as he has had a tough life. Still, he wants to try and save Angela and so this means accepting all of the help around him. You have people from several faiths coming together to try and help but will they be successful?

Now you need to keep in mind that there are two daughters who need saving here. This is important because the film is naturally paying more attention to Angela but the second family is dealing with the same situation with Katherine. This is where part of the film may lose you because we get this whole victory speech about hope and everything….which basically ignores half of the situation. You’ll be side eyeing the film as it ends because the whole thing just doesn’t make sense.

The movie was already losing steam well before then though. Now this is one title where I don’t blame the main characters being slow on the uptake because you’re not going to immediately jump to the conclusion that your kid has been possessed by a demon. It’s one of the few circumstances where I’m cool with the characters constantly looking puzzled and confused. Victor is doing his best to help Angela through normal means and just isn’t getting through to her. He was able to handle his composure a whole lot better than Katherine’s parents.

That said, there isn’t a lot that the film can do to keep you entertained throughout this saga. It’s not like the characters can fight the kids since they aren’t fully in control of themselves. Once they are strapped to the chairs, it is just a lot of long scenes of the characters all trying their tricks on the demon. For the most part they don’t tend to deal a whole lot of damage. The demon only needs one hit while they have to land hundreds through the chants. It makes for a rather underwhelming climax.

Additionally the film is determined to make the demon possession as grotesque as possible. The girls are always appearing with more wounds as a result of the possession which just continues to escalate. The whole process of removing the demons also involves using holy water and other materials that burns them even further. It’s not that the film is necessarily ultra violent in the way that a slasher would be but they show just enough violence to keep on reminding you that this won’t be an easy film.

The cast is kept fairly small throughout. You have Victor’s gym partner but the guy doesn’t actually do a whole lot. The parents of Katherine are around the whole time but there isn’t a whole lot that they can do. The cops are around for the basic search but basically vanish after that. Victor and the others are somehow able to have the kids transferred from the general hospital to their house for the exorcism so either they have a lot of sway or security was very lax.

This isn’t the kind of film where you’re going to be able to drill in too hard without bringing up some plot questions like that. Even so, more emphasis on the cops would have been good. The movie just doesn’t have much of a hook because there just isn’t much that any of the characters can do. It’s the kind of film where each character is really passive and it’s hard for me to even blame them for it. There is no mystery to uncover, no super exorcism technique to learn, etc. So the first half is really building up to Victor being fully convinced that a demon is involved and then we get the long climax of trying to save the kids.

Of course you do have some plot twists and guest stars showing up as well but this is the Exorcist. It’s not like there are any big guest stars that are actually going to make things super exciting. The film still can’t resist having some gross moments like the demon spitting or just more violence like one old lady getting too close to the demon. Films like this just don’t leave the characters a lot of hope and don’t give the viewer any opportunities to be having a good time either. I’d much prefer having a more cheerful/action based film with the characters fighting against the demons.

If you are going to do a whole film with the demons showing up, then I think you need to give the main character some way to fight back. Victor is essentially sidelined for the entire climax so instead let him go to the demon realm to fight or something. Lean into the supernatural elements a little harder so this can lead into an action angle. That would have been a way more satisfying way to go. I get the feeling that the films want to stay a little more grounded than that but it will lead to the same ending for each of these titles.

Overall, This is another Exorcist film. If you’ve seen one then you’ve basically seen them all. It’s not a film that I would ever be particularly interested in checking out again. These films just have nothing going for them and run into the classic horror problem of the heroes not having any real options. There should at least be some cases where the random demon is quickly defeated when confronted by the Order. Otherwise it just feels like the power levels are way too skewed in favor of the demons. They basically laugh and mock the priests whenever they show up.

Overall 1/10

Quarantine Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the movie. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited movie would be more negative

Quarantine is one of those films that I remember hearing about all the time. It could never escape the shadow of the original Rec film and yet I almost feel like it paradoxically got bigger because of this. The first thing anybody will tell you is that it’s based off of Rec and yet Quarantine is mentioned more often. I dunno it’s an interesting tidbit but either way the film is no good. I could have told you that right from the start but after watching it, I can confirm that it gets a thumbs down all the way.

The movie starts with Angela filming a segment for the news channel that she works at. She will be tailing some firefighters for a day to see what their work is like. There is a lot of banter as they wait for something to happen and finally there is a call. Someone has started acting crazy in a residential building so the firefighters and police go in with the news crew. Unfortunately the situation is worse than expected. They are all locked inside the building with the tenants and they begin to realize that zombies are present. A single bite will spread the virus and with no way out, this will be a difficult situation to survive.

First off I have to say that these are some of the dumbest horror characters I’ve ever seen. Now it is already a tried and true staple that horror protagonists never make the right decisions but these guys take it to a whole new level. The zombie virus isn’t exactly subtle here. Characters will suddenly be bleeding and acting all shaky. They’re frothing at the mouth and the main characters are still wondering what is going on. It’s bad enough near the beginning of the film where the characters are slowly approaching an insane person but by the middle act of the film they should be retaining some survival instincts.

At one point near the end of the film they know with 99% certainty that one character is a zombie but one guy still reaches out telling her to grab his hand. All of the sequences felt extremely forced. They even call in the professionals at one point and these guys presumably have some idea of what’s going on. Yet, they walk real close to one of the zombies and end up paying the price. The kills are all far too violent to find funny but there is definitely something darkly humorous about how some of these characters die. The deaths were 100% completely avoidable which is what will really annoy you there.

Now like I said, the situation is still difficult. I’m not saying that this is a cake walk but there are better ways to handle this. Keep in mind that the zombies are not bullet proof. Additionally it does seem to be possible to put them down for good with enough force. The zombies never get up again once they’ve actually been taken down. They are fast but can’t think so one of the firefighters is able to beat around 6-8 of them by himself. Keep in mind that this is a small building so the amount of zombies will likely max out at around 20.

Taking the offensive would be a good idea or barricading yourself in a room and forcing them to approach one at a time. Ironically the only character to think of this is the local “jerk” that everyone gets mad at. He said from the start that gathering everyone together didn’t make sense and he was right. That just makes it harder to dodge when a zombie is around and no matter what kind of flu they originally thought this was, packing everyone together is not a good idea.

Now you may wonder why they don’t just leave the building and ignore the government. Well, this government is taking a rather strong approach so they are straight up shooting everyone that tries to leave. So yeah leaving is not really an option this time. You can still find ways to survive but there is no guarantee that you are ever leaving this place alive.

Usually in these films they try to find some kind of audio device for exposition or a bunch of notes. The movie does this but in a very half hearted way so I’m not sure why they bothered. Angela and the others find a lab room from the guy who caused this problem and he left an audio but it was basically silent with a bunch of mumbling. Not the most helpful tool around.

Speaking of helpful, it goes without saying but none of the characters were very helpful here at all. First up you have Angela who is completely out of her depth here. She yells a whole lot which keeps giving away their position to the zombies and spends the entire climax panicking. It was pretty obvious at one point that shooting the zombies was the right move but Angela is still acting shocked as if this was excessive force.

I was just not a big fan of hers by the end. She started out okay but all the screaming is just rough when you have lives at stake. Those yells put everyone in danger and there has to be a point where the adrenaline takes over and you stop panicking. Everyone else was able to get with the program and Angela’s a professional in a line of work that sees a lot of violence. I would have expected her to do better. Instead the cameraman has to really take the initiative and do all of the hard work.

Even by the end of the film it felt like the characters had a chance of surviving. There weren’t many zombies left at all but Angela freezes up and decides not to help so that just messes everyone over. I’m not blaming her for the entire mess, other characters made similar mistakes. The cop with the gun should not have been defeated so naturally he puts the gun down and approaches a zombie. The writers had to work extra hard to find ways for the humans to lose here.

What the film does well is to maintain a very tense atmosphere. The film is really intense and the scares work pretty well. It just can’t help but try to be as gritty as possible in the process. You have all of the usual biting and characters being eaten but then you also have a rat being squashed with rather gruesome detail. That did not add anything to the film and could have definitely been removed. The film wanted to show that animals were also running around with the virus but we definitely didn’t need that.

It’s not like the film would have been much better off even without the animal part but still it’s worth noting. Even better characters would not have been enough to get the film into the green. It’s just not a pleasant film and instead focuses on making everyone as miserable as possible. The concept of the plot is more interesting than the execution so other films like this would still have potential.

Overall, This film could have done well to tone down the violence a whole lot and to go with a more traditional camera style. Stuffing everyone inside of a building with a horror threat is a great concept but then you have to let the writing and atmosphere tell the story from there. I’d also be interested in more of a large scale story about what the government are doing but I suppose by then it is basically just Resident Evil. If you want a zombie story I’d actually sooner recommend that one and that’s saying something.

Overall 1/10

Marvel MaXimum Collection Review

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It’s time to look at a big Marvel collection that came out. This one bundles together 6 pretty obscure titles from the old days. It’s always nice to see these games finally getting a modern re-release. Some of the titles can be hit or miss but on the whole you’re getting a pretty decent amount of content here. I spent around 8 hours to take out all 6 games and they each have replay value in the different modes that you can play them through. I’ll go through each of the games below.

First up we have the classic X-Men arcade game. In this one the Professor gets kidnapped and Magneto has some kind of evil plan up his sleeve. Defeating him won’t be easy but the X-Men are on the case. This one’s very much a classic 2D beat em up. You go through several levels as you fight off all of the most iconic X-Men villains. You have a number of different attacks and then your super attack at the end.

The game is also quite difficult. I lost countless times but fortunately on console you get unlimited continues. This would have been an expensive game in the arcades although I guess that is true for all of these titles in the collection. This one started the collection off on a really high note because it ended up being my favorite out of the 6 games. The soundtrack was really good and the graphics really popped out at you. This was really everything that you could hope for in such a classic title since it even had cutscenes and everything.

After that it was time to play the Captain America game. It’s fairly similar in terms of gameplay but is much more retro. The Red Skull has returned and so the Avengers have to stop him. Their roster is fairly unique here as it is Iron-Man, Vision, Hawkeye, and Captain America. I suppose Thor might have been overkill in the power department. The levels are fun and it’s also just fun to be playing as these classic heroes. While the technical elements cannot match up to the X-Men, the game still holds up well. It’s one of those games that is easy to plug and play at any point.

The cutscenes may not be quite as advanced but I was still glad to have a story. I would also say the sheer difficulty wasn’t quite as bad as X-Men but that may also be a side effect of playing it second. I was already warmed up and ready for action when I played this one. You can also tell that the game was early in the Marvel universe with how different some characters would look. The Juggernaut was a huge example as he looks nothing like the comic version of himself. So that was a fun bit of history.

Then we get to the first Spider-Man game. Maximum Carnage is a pretty big deal in the comics and so it was cool to get the video game. This one has a pretty ambitious story with a lot of cutscenes and tons of big boss battles. You can tell that some things are trimmed to keep the game from being too long but it really works out well. The artstyle and the soundtrack are both really good. The gameplay is also super fun even if some of the bosses can be a little on the cheesy side.

Carnage in particular has really long windows of invincibility and so you have to counter at the perfect time. If you miss by even an instant then you will take massive damage. The other bosses have similar techniques and so you really have to master the gameplay. Fortunately the gameplay is really well developed so you don’t have to worry about random glitches. This is another incredibly difficult game, particularly since there are no extra lives so you have to rely on rewinding. Props to anyone who was able to complete this one back in the day.

The second Spider-Man game is less impressive. The gameplay is roughly the same but this time there is much less of a story. You just get text boxes to convey it instead of cool cutscenes. In addition there are far less guest stars. It feels like this game was made to capitalize on the success of the first one. I certainly can’t fault them for that but you can tell that it was much more slapped together.

I did like the gimmick in the final level where you had to keep switching between Venom and Spiderman in order to defeat Carnage. It felt like playing one of those Super Sonic levels where you are switching between hedgehogs. So that was done really well and was also something different from the first game. I imagine that playing as Venom would also change up the feel of the game a bit. So it may have had less going on than the first game but it was still good.

Then we get to the weakest game in the series, Spider-Man and the X-Men. I don’t really know what they were thinking with this one but the game was ambitious. I can at least give credit there. Basically the X-Men are captures by Arcade so Spider-Man heads in to help them out. Each character gets two levels and each level has a different goal.

Spider-Man’s is a full collectathon as you have to find every emblem in the stage in order to win. Storm has to find all of the levers while underwater to cause some flooding. Then Wolverine and Cyclops have more traditional platformer levels where you have to get to the end. Gambit has an endless runner level where you have to dodge everything while staying one step ahead of a giant boulder.

The main problem is that none of these gameplay styles are very well polished at all. I ran into a big glitch in the Gambit level where the enemy wouldn’t spawn and had to restart. There are intentional dead ends in Wolverine and Gambit’s level which will cause you to die and try the level again. It all just felt very cheesy and it is often hard to tell where you have to go next. This is the only game that I would just have to say was bad. It felt like a browser game in all the wrong ways. Naturally for that reason this is the longest game.

Finally we have the Silver Surfer title. This one is one of those endless shooters and it switches the gameplay a bit between levels. Half of the levels are 2D and the other half are overhead. It makes for a pretty good back and forth throughout. You have to defeat several cosmic threats in order to get the parts for an ultimate weapon but ironically the bosses tend to be the easiest parts of each level. I see it as a little gift from the devs for actually making it past the levels. After all make no mistake, the levels are incredibly difficult. This game is infamous for that.

Touching anything means instant death and it can be really difficult to know what is part of the background and what is an actual object. I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed this game much back in the days but on console it works out well enough. It was also nice to have more of a real story after the last one too and this may have been Silver Surfer’s best portrayal that I’ve seen in any game.

Overall, I would definitely recommend checking this one out. As long as you enjoy arcade titles then you’ll definitely have fun here. Each game is a little different and it can be nostalgic to see all of the classic costumes. You just don’t see a lot of retro adventures like this nowadays. I know there are other retro games in other collections to get so I’ll have to do that at some point. In the meantime, you should pick this one up to get a headstart on the old adventures that were hard to play before now.

Overall 7/10

Liar Game: The Last Game Review

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It’s time for a one shot sequel to the amazing Liar Game manga. This sequel certainly took a long while to show up but the original manga getting an anime adaption seemed to inspire the author. The original series actually ended with a massive cliffhanger and so this volume seeks to correct that ending. It may feel a little cheesy but hey sometimes you want a really wholesome ending like this so it works out.

The sequel takes place some time after the original series. Akiyama, Nao, and the other survivors of the Liar Game have decided to meet at Yokoya’s mansion. They are going to find a way to expose the evil organization that was in charge of the game. The only ones who should know of this meetup are the select few who were invited but somehow a member of the organization appears. He says that the group has a traitor among them. Akiyama and the others decide to play one last game to smoke out the traitor but this won’t be easy. All of the people in this game have genius level intellect after all and won’t be falling for any easy traps.

Having a game be included here immediately goes back to the heart of the series. The Liar game battles were always really thrilling after all. There isn’t much that you can do in the span of 6 chapters though so the game has to be a very short one. Essentially the characters have to write who they think the traitor is on a piece of paper. The characters are not allowed to talk to each other either and we’ll see which name appears the most often. Of course this high level of secrecy quickly encourages folks to break into teams and get allies. You don’t want to be secluded because people may quickly think that you’re a traitor.

The game is only okay though. Because of the no talking rule there aren’t a lot of ways to make plans and so the game doesn’t have a ton of strategy. I thought this was a mistake because it would have been way more fun to see the characters all duking it out. It all comes down to the length, that’s the only reason I can think of as to why they wouldn’t have made this another big battle with all of the characters. We still do get the big speech chapter for the ending and of course there was the intro so the game was really just 3-4 chapters long total.

Like I said before, this does work as more of a definitive ending to the saga so that was nice. Akiyama finally got to stick it to the organization and proved once and for all that not everyone would immediately fold and begin lying. These people have all been through a whole lot and wouldn’t just betray each other like that. Characters like Fukunaga and Yokoya may have been enemies in the past but by now they are really part of the gang.

It’s been long enough since I read the original series that I didn’t even recognize some of the contestants from the latter rounds. Still, it was good to have such an ensemble cast here. While the actual plan to stop the organization may have been a little hard to buy, it was still a real plan. So I can’t really knock that. Surprisingly Nao gets almost nothing to do. She was arguably the main character or at least shared a dual role with Akiyama in the original series. This time she is essentially just along for the ride.

The art for Liar Game has never been the most technically impressive or detailed style out there but it works for the atmosphere the series is going for. This is true for the sequel as well. I can’t deny that another art style would probably look even better but this one did pretty good all things considered. I was able to read through the chapters with ease and of course the writing is great as always. Mix the two elements in and you have some terrific pacing all the way.

So the question is, how would you go about making this one a bit more exciting with a 6 chapter limit? Well, I think what you’d need to do is have the 6 chapters be about the characters discussing how to get the truth to the public with the organization having access to all online outlets. Have them play out a lot of scenarios before getting to the right one and winning. Perhaps for some that would be a little more low key than what they did here so it may depend on how you look at it. At the very least this does show that the author’s still got it when it comes to the analytics. If we ever get a full Liar Game 2, I’m positive it would be amazing.

Overall, This is one of those one shots that completely relies on nostalgia. There isn’t a whole lot going on here and it’s just too short. It was good to see the characters return but it still could have been more exciting. Honestly one difference would have been to have the organization member actually get arrested in the end or something. We know that they’re in trouble from the ending but it’s in a more abstract, indirect way. I would have been satisfied to have actually seen some consequences right away. Regardless, if you read the original series then you should read this sequel. This is the only way you can actually see the ending.

Overall 6/10

The Nanny Review

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It’s time for an old school horror title that throws in a good amount of misdirection with its twists and turns. Usually old school horror films tend to be pretty strong but ultimately I can’t say that this one was a winner. The slow burn approach just doesn’t work without some kind of a big monster or threatening murderer at the ready. Instead most of the scares are really around the fact that the main character is just a kid and can’t really do a whole lot.

The story begins with Joey finally returning home after having been away from home at a sort of recovery institution for 2 years. Unfortunately the staff were not able to get through to him and even right up to the end he was very mean spirited and pulling pranks on people. His parents had hoped he would have improved but that was wishful thinking. If anything he had gotten worse as he is openly disrespectful to the Nanny. He treats her like a monster and for the most part she takes this in stride but there is a lot of tension in the air. Who is the real villain of this story?

So the first weakness of the movie is really just that it’s not terribly interesting. I like there to be some tension between the characters in a classic mystery as you have to read between the lines and understand the veiled threats. It just doesn’t work nearly as well when the main character is just a kid. There’s nothing that Joey can really do here and he has long since given up on trying to convince his parents. At least from the film’s context it sounds like he had tried in the past and it didn’t go so well so now he is content to just hint at things and generally pick on the Nanny.

In a way we probably should have seen some of the events before he went away to boarding school because it would make Joey a lot less annoying in the present. He makes one friend at least, the upstairs neighbor Bobbie. This at least gives him someone to talk to and some attempt at banter but of course he isn’t really able to keep up.

There’s also not a whole lot that Bobbie can do from her side because this is such a family affair. Joey often appears to be on the losing side of every interaction with the Nanny and again that’s to be expected since he’s a kid. The film would have absolutely been stronger if he had just been older.

As for the parents, they really don’t look very good at all. The mother is constantly depressed and so she’s not really able to understand what is going on here. She mostly mopes a lot and seems to be living in a different reality. She is shocked every single time Joey says something mean to the Nanny and you would expect that at some point she would at least be able to predict what was about to happen. She doesn’t even have to take Joey’s side but should at least know what is going on. She blames herself for the Nanny never having a proper personal life and as a result tries to have allegiance to her and Joey. That’s usually not going to work well, fence sitting just doesn’t work in this kind of situation.

For the father, he just wants Joey to grow up and be over but otherwise mostly stays out of the situation. He’s written out fairly early as he has to go on a work trip. While that might sound reasonable in most cases, the timing was really bad with how the home situation was. I know he may have lost his job if he stayed home, but that would have been the safer decision.

Then we have the aunt Pen who is a bit more of a fighter. Unfortunately she also has a drinking problem which never turns out well for these characters. She also had a rough start during her first conversation with the family and never really recovered from that. It was nice to have another character at the ready but ultimately she was completely out of her depth.

Finally there is the Nanny. Now the character looks rather suspicious from the start but that’s intentional since you are supposed to choose if you think she is the problem or the kid. Either way she will have the upper hand in all interactions as a grown up. I can’t say that she was a very interesting character though and the backstory wasn’t enough to really move me in the present. The film is really based around the intrigue of the Nanny and so it was always going to be on the back foot there.

The actual flashback of what happened before Joey went away is actually sad so the film was able to land that scene. I do think there would be a lot of questions after such an event and you would have switched the Nanny after that regardless but not everyone’s going to come to the same conclusion. Ultimately this just isn’t a very happy film even if the characters are consistently getting themselves into bad situations. At the end of the day for a film you want to be having a good time and this one felt like it was more on the mean side. There are no real moments for levity or for the characters just having fun. It may not be gruesome in the way a modern horror title would be, but that isn’t enough to take this movie into the green.

Overall, The Nanny is one of those films that just isn’t able to successfully be a high octane thriller. It’s always going to be really hard to do this when one of the main characters is a kid. That just limits the amount of interesting situations you can put the characters in. Additionally the script won’t be as solid as usual since kids are more limited in the words that they know. Unless you think the situation of a nanny possibly being evil is really compelling, I would definitely say to dodge this one.

Overall 4/10

Fire Emblem Fortune’s Weave Review

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Fortune’s Weave got a ton of hype when it was first coming out. This was going to be the big Switch 2 title to finally show that Nintendo was still operating at the highest levels. Fire Emblem games always have a lot of content to them but this would be taking it to an entirely new level. The game was going to have 4 complete campaigns within it and a ton of replay value. It took me nearly 70 hours to complete the game so I can definitely confirm that the reputation was deserved.

The game starts off with you playing as the savior of the world who must stop the apocalypse which has arrived at your door. The greatest warriors in history have all been turned over to the dark side and you are forced to destroy them all. These undead zombies will keep on regenerating infinitely though and so one of the goddesses manipulates causality to send us into the past. From there you can choose between 4 fire lords in order to complete their campaign. There are 3 parts to the game. The first part is 12 chapters for each of the 4 main characters, the second part is around 6 chapters for each one, and then they all converge on the final part.

A cool thing about the game is how much freedom you have. You can make this a quick game by just playing as one main character and rush to the end. In case it seems like you can even skip all 4 and dash to the end since the door is active but it’s possible that a barrier would stop you. This would just put you in a nearly unwinnable situation because the sheer number of enemy units would be too much. In a way you get to control how difficult the game is. The more campaigns you complete, the more soldiers you will have at your disposal for the final war.

From before I had even purchased the game, I knew that I would be playing all 4 campaigns. The fact that they all exist on the same save file is what made my decision clear. I wouldn’t bother with this if you had to start from scratch each time. Since that wasn’t the case, it felt to me like the organic way of playing this game was to experience each campaign. As such, that’s exactly what I did and it made for a really satisfying experience. It’s impressive how much content is completely unique for each story even if they do converge at some points.

You are also rewarded for actually playing through each story because the auto levels that the characters do off screen progress at much weaker intervals. For example a character you manually leveled from 1-20 will have far greater stats than a CPU who took him to level 20. It really emphasizes that human spirit there. In terms of the individual stories, Leda’s is probably the most interesting. She’s trying to avenge her father by murdering everyone who was involved in the attack on her kingdom. There are quite a lot of people who were involved so this is not a short list. Cai’s story is a bit more basic as he is trying to win the big tournament in order to save his father from the death sentence. Dietrich just wants to fight a bunch of strong opponents in order to satiate his bloodlust. Finally Theodora is trying to win the tournament in order to reclaim her ancestor’s birthright to the haunted islands. There are also a number of other characters trying to win the tournament for their own gain.

Originally there were going to be 8 stories but that wasn’t ready in time and so the second batch of 4 stories will be upcoming DLC. That’s definitely going to be really ambitious, almost like another game. I’m expecting that these stories will be shorter but it’s impressive just how much content the game is about to get on top of what is already there. There are also more gameplay mechanics than you may expect. There are close to a dozen classes, you have your equipment to polish, praying at the temples for power-ups, training your stats, etc. Then you also have all of the free roam activities like fixing buildings, completing quests, and obtaining materials in caves.

That comes to my only downside which is that the game does have a day/night system. For example you may have 5 days of free time before the next story mission. That means after you complete 5 actions, you will be forced to enter the next stage. It makes the game feel like a bit of a tease at times because there is not enough time to have fun with all of the modes/features that are available. Now, I hear that this becomes less of an issue as you do more playthroughs because your data is retained but that’s still rough. I never like a day/night system in general. Give me complete freedom and that’s a much better deal.

Also, the game actually penalizes you for playing each of the campaigns simultaneously. I found this out after starting the stories but it was a bit annoying. Basically you are meant to finish part 1 for a character first. Then you start character b and the game will auto complete all side quests and activities that you did with the first character. This will allow you more time to complete other missions and eventually the content won’t be so daunting. To me it had always felt more organic to play the stories simultaneously though so that was rough. I had to re-complete the side quests each time. Maybe it would have been difficult to set the code up to do a check after every chapter but that would have been more fun.

The gameplay is your classic strategy, Fire Emblem style. You control a number of units and control them all across an overheard board. Then your opponents respond in kind. The goal is to wipe them all off the map before your captain is defeated. This kind of game requires a ton of strategy and one wrong move can foil your whole operation. It feels really satisfying to complete a level after a lot of trial and error.

The game also tests how well you have understood the mechanics as it gets really difficult by the end. You better have made sure that you maxed out your blessing with at least one goddess before the end. I recommend maxing out Kalla since she increases your chance of dodging an enemy’s attack for 10 turns. That is incredibly useful here but each goddess has a different blessing so maybe you will prefer someone else’s.

The graphics are definitely great like you would expect. The characters look sharp and all of the attacks are really colorful. This is the kind of game that is really using all of the Switch 2’s power. There are a number of great cinematics here as well. Fire Emblem has never been afraid to get rather intense so you can also expect a higher stakes Nintendo game than usual. Each twist and turn will really have you be surprised.

In terms of replay value, well even if the game had 0 it wouldn’t be a problem with a 70 hour campaign. Still, there is a ton of replay value with the over 100 possible recruits you can obtain through the story. Upgrading each weapon will also take a long time. This is the kind of game that someone could sit down with for a very long time to try and 100% it. That’s not in the cards for me but I can see why this game is already so beloved. It’s absolutely one of the all time best Fire Emblems for me as well.

Overall, I definitely recommend buying this one. Fire Emblem continues to be a standout series for good reason. It may take a while between each release but they are always worth it. This works well as a jumping on point if you haven’t played Fire Emblem before. All of the mechanics are explained well and the game starts you off slow before really ramping up the difficulty. The main thing is to just not let yourself get overwhelmed by all of the gameplay options. You have to take it one step at a time and then you’re all set.

Overall 9/10

Ghost Ship Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for an old horror film and I’m afraid this one was not any good. It can feel weird calling a 2002 film old but that’s just where we’re at by this point. Ghost Ship is one of those titles that relies on jump scares and a ton of over the top violence without much of a story to back it up. You’ll be shaking your head at the film right from the start and not even the rock music can save this one.

The movie starts with a bunch of characters enjoying a party aboard a giant boat when everyone is murdered after someone cuts one of the ropes aboard the ship. The only survivor is a little girl. Many years later we cut to a group of salvagers. They find old boats and put them back together for profit. A guy shows up and tells them about this giant boat he found, and it is the one from the opening scene. Sean and his crew decide to head out and find this boat because it will be an absolutely massive payday for them. Salvaging is a tough job since you are all by yourself out at sea but they are confident that they can handle this. Unfortunately, the boat may be more than it seems.

So you’ve got the general setup there and being all alone at sea with a ghost ship definitely has a solid setup as far as the atmosphere goes. There just aren’t many positive elements in the film to really set your hat on. The violence for example was crazy right from the opening scene. After that the characters all tend to go down in really painful ways and then we had an extended cut at the end about how everyone on the ship was gunned down. Right from the start you get to see that this film is going to be super intense in all of the wrong ways.

Occasionally you’d have a decent fake jump scare like when two members of the crew decide to scare Maureen for no reason. I mean it made those guys look pretty bad but I guess nothing really scared them. To be able to lock yourself in an empty room and seal yourself in a meat wrap just to scare someone is a crazy high level of bravery. Too bad it couldn’t have been used for something a little more productive right? Maureen had already gotten a number of real jump scares by this point so I guess the ghost was being really selective.

The film makes the bold choice of having a ghost leader as opposed to this just being a bunch of general spirits running around. I’d say that actually worked well though. I’ll give the film credit for having a real villain even if it felt like he was jobbing the entire time. This guy has telekinesis and a fairly strong amount of regeneration. Beyond that he mostly has human specs and ends up losing virtually every fight that he’s in. The guy has to rely on his tenacity to get the final victories in the end.

So things tend to go his way but he’s not going to be one of the more impressive villains that you see. I thought he was decent enough though and does end up being fairly memorable. He also allowed the film to have a quick fight scene at the end. On a logistic level I don’t see why he really needed the crew though. Seems to me that he would have had tons of options in order to secure his objective. The guy has super powers and regeneration, that leads to a whole lot of options. Then once he had the crew on board, he probably could have just strong armed them into helping instead of putting on an act where he couldn’t help but laugh at different times.

I’ll also say that the main crew were actually fairly smart here. In most of these films they all get extremely greedy and want to get every piece of money available. In this case once the main characters find the gold, they all decide to leave. They have enough money to live comfortably so why get greedy and take the ship too right? The reason their plan fails is due to circumstances outside of their control. They still outpace most main characters when it comes to decision making in a horror title. These salvagers are supposed to be professionals after all so that makes sense.

Now that doesn’t make them perfect by any means. One guy decides to cheat on his fiancé which leads to him falling for the most obvious trick possible. Generally the others at least had some good excuses as to how they were murdered but this guy had no such excuse. I would also blame the spirits for a lot of this. The film explains their plans in the movie and why they are picking on the main characters but there is one who wants to help. She goes about it in the most roundabout way possible though and talks very cryptically. We know that the main spirit will try silencing her so at that point it’s probably a good idea to just quickly blurt everything out.

I also thought the soundtrack was mainly good. The rock song during the boat massacre was a little weak as it felt like some kind of emo blend of rock but the more traditional rock songs sprinkles throughout the film were fairly solid. Unlike most horror titles I can at least say it had these things going for it. The film just can’t avoid the classic horror pitfalls at the same time. Even aside from the violence we also have the gross maggots scene. I think for some grossness can be interchanged with scariness which is why horror films tend to go for gross visuals as well but it doesn’t do the movie any favors.

As far as the final horror twist goes, I thought it was fairly effective. Horror films essentially have to have a twist ending. It’s the closest thing to a mandate that you will find in a movie. It may not have been enough to save the film but this one was at least trying. If it could just tone down the violence then the film would immediately be in a much better place.

Overall, Ghost Ship was not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination but it certainly took some better swings than most. The film at least had potential which is more than I can say for most. The characters were mostly smart throughout the movie and the soundtrack was good. I would still recommend watching something like Scooby Doo: Zombie Island over this one of course. In the end this is just a reminder on why you don’t want to sail into the middle of the ocean without telling anyone where you are going.

Overall 2/10

The Halloween Tree Review

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Now it’s time to look at a film that’s rather obscure. At the very least I hadn’t heard of this one before and I like to think that I’ve heard of all the big ones. It’s an interesting enough story about Halloween and getting the characters to think more about the meaning behind their costumes. It’s held back a little by the fact that the characters are fairly weak though. It’s a decently good movie but not one that you’ll want to be checking out except if you’re just looking for something new to watch.

The story starts with 4 kids getting ready to go trick or treating. They’re all close friends and this is one of the days they really look forward to. Unfortunately the 5th friend, Pip, doesn’t end up appearing. They head to his house just in time to see him being loaded into an ambulance with a note that he’ll try to meet them later. They don’t buy that because the situation looks serious but then a see-through version of Pip runs into a haunted house. The heroes chase after him and meet a mysterious guy named Moundshroud who is trying to go after Pip for some reason. This guy seems shady but is their only hope in chasing Pip through time. They form a reluctant team to find Pip, but what is really going on here?

Right away I have to say that I wasn’t expecting the team-up so that was an interesting twist. Moundshroud isn’t even pretending to be a good guy, he’s basically just an antagonist that they have to work with because he’s the only one who has the abilities needed to get to Pip. The kids never really think of a plan to take him out with though so they are forced to go with whatever he bargains with. The ending is actually a bit more dire than you may have expected. Yes, a year isn’t too crazy in the grand scheme of things but that was still more than what I would have estimated.

It’s hard to say how much of this was all a part of Moundshroud’s plan. Did he set everything up for the whole film or was he actually panicking to try and catch up to Pip? His abilities seemed rather vague but the guy seemed to have many methods to grab Pip if he really wanted to pull that off. Also Pip gets a lot of credit for being a quick study. Not only did he figure out how to time travel with his pumpkin but he was able to master using a witch’s broom with no instructions. The guy was known as the captain of the friend group and you can definitely see why that was the case. He always has the upper hand and just seems like a fun guy.

It’s too bad we didn’t get to see him as a human for very long though. Or at least as a member of the living I should say. My main issue with the film is that the other 4 kids just weren’t that interesting and I think Pip could have changed that. It’s not like this is an action movie so I wouldn’t be expecting a lot of awesome one liners but Pip would definitely have more confidence. The other 4 just weren’t ready for this adventure.

They’re little kids of course so I won’t be too harsh but you can tell that they were nervous the whole time. The girl was riding a bike the whole time and yet the other could catch her on foot. It shows how none of them had a whole lot of power and probably should have called in the grownups to help with Pip. For the most part the adults never really did much here though, this was really an adventure for the kids. I will give them some respect for going after Pip and surpassing their fears. They may have been scared, but they didn’t let that control them and that is absolutely important.

The animation is pretty good. I tend to enjoy this style so even though it is a bit older, it works well for me. This is far from being a big budget production or anything like that but it is really smooth which is what counts above everything else. The writing is also passable, it is trying to range from being educational to being entertaining. It hits the balance well enough, sort of reminds me of an after school special. It’s also not that long so it’s not like the film ever drags out.

In the film the characters essentially go throughout time to meet up with the people that inspired each costume. The Mummy for example was an easy one as the characters got to go to Egypt and see the burial process. The witch one also showed how apparently geniuses were known as witches. Yeah they had to take some liberties with that one. It’s a fun setup and gives time for each character to get some more screentime.

Tom easily gets the most screentime from the kids. He’s doing his best to fit in for Pip but was never the leader and just doesn’t have that natural confidence. He gets a good heart to heart talk with Pip though and is ultimately a decent character. None of them were bad characters really, they were doing their best to hang in there the whole time no matter how scary it all got.

I think this could have even worked as a fun TV show. You could have the characters basically learning the origins behind each monster design and tradition over the course of a season. Each episode they would get closer to saving Pip. There might be a little repetition there but the setup absolutely feels tailor made for a show.

Overall, This is one of those titles that is pretty harmless all around. I had no serious issues and it felt like the pacing was good. The movie just lacked a real hook to keep things interesting. It’s always a bit harder to review something like that. It never crosses the bar of absolutely being boring though which is why I give it a positive score. It is still a good movie through and through and it’s one that I would recommend to parents who want something fun for their kids. It may not have the same impact to you as a grown up but is still there if you want to watch a non-slasher film about Halloween.

Overall 6/10

Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors Review

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Time for an anthology! Usually these as an absolute recipe for disaster but I’m always ready for one to prove me wrong. In theory you just need to have a writer with a solid vision for different stories. Usually all of the focus is put on just one story and then the others all suffer as a result. That’s exactly what you really want to avoid here. This one ended up being a lot better than most of the others that I’ve seen. It still couldn’t help but fall into some issues along the way though. Due to the structure of the stories and everything, this review will have a lot of spoilers. I usually avoid them but when the stories are this short, it’s hard to talk about them otherwise. So you have been forewarned.

The movie starts off with 5 guys all riding in a train along with a suspicious older man. The old guy says that he can read the future with his tarot cards. The 5 men are rather bored right now so they decide to entertain this idea. Each story is a cautionary tale about what they will be running into soon. Will this knowledge help them escape absolute despair?

The first story features a guy going back to the house that he sold a long time ago. His family had owned the place for many generations and so he was called in to do an inspection. The current owner aims to do a little redecorating and this seems like an easy enough request. Unfortunately things quickly start to get a little spooky as the last burial ground of a werewolf is discovered. It won’t be easy to destroy a werewolf if he has been resurrected but what is a guy to do?

Now keeping in mind that the film has to get through 5 stories in a fairly short duration, the movie has really quick pacing. This Werewolf story has to quickly show off two suspects and then move through the story right away. Each segment is like a Twilight Zone episode where you can expect a twist at some point. This one was pretty solid overall. It builds up the atmosphere well and a Werewolf is something that everyone can understand right away. I’ll also be rating how survivable each encounter is based on if they go to the location or if they choose to bypass it.

After all, the point of these tarot cards is so that the men can avoid their fates right? Well, this is probably one of the easier ones to avoid. The guy can decide not to go to the house. Now given when we know from the twist, the Werewolf may go to him but his advanced knowledge should help a whole lot. I give him a 60% chance of surviving if he doesn’t go to the house, 20% if he ends up going.

The second story feels like something more out of a Japanese horror story. A guy is enjoying his new house with his wife and daughter. Unfortunately it turns out that the vines are alive and are slowly seeking to spread their influence. They even murder the pet dog which was terrible and something that the film could have really cut out if you ask me. Sometimes you just don’t need those extra details and they just serve to get in the way of the story. This was one of those cases. Without that element, this would have been the best story because it really makes you think. How do you deal with vines like this?

I would argue that it’s probably the happiest of the 5 stories though. It ends in a rather light way if you ask me. Yes, the vines are smart and can work on putting out the flames but it definitely won’t be easy for them. It’ll take effort and the humans can use that time. It’s also just a very creative threat. If the guy doesn’t go to the house with his family, I give him 100% odds on surviving. If he does go, I still give him 90% odds because he knows what the threat is.

Then we have the third story which is the first one where the main guy was asking for trouble. Everyone told him to leave the voodoo stuff alone but he couldn’t help it and throws himself into the situation. A really dumb move if you ask me and the guy basically just does his best to mock all of the traditions until he’s beat up. The ending of that one makes me think he was still alive but they’ll probably finish him at some point. As long as he goes there and doesn’t stir up trouble then he has 100% odds in both scenarios.

It’s just a bit harder to feel bad about this guy because he was actually given fair warning. He was really testing everyone’s patience that time. I don’t know why his story got off so easy compared to the others. I guess you can just chalk it down to getting lucky I suppose.

Then we have a story where the main guy is completely to blame and is an actual villain. You have a pretentious art critic who really enjoys going out of his way to make fun of another artist. The artist finally gets back at him and the critic decides to take revenge by running the guy over and severing his hand. Well, the severed hand has a mind of its own and is now trying to choke the critic out. It is sort of a play on the classic question of what would you do if a slug was following you across the world.

In this case a hand is more dangerous. It may be slow but once it has a grip on you, that could be game over. The hand cannot be destroyed and will eventually teleport into your proximity. Personally I would say that the best way to deal with it, is to keep it in a cage within your eyesight so you can notice when it starts to get close. It’s not fullproof though and of course this will be stressful all the way. If the critic chooses not to injure the artist, then he has 100% odds of surviving. If he does this but knows that the hand is after him, maybe he has 20% odds? I think the hand would eventually get anyone, you have to sleep at some point.

Finally we couldn’t end this without a vampire story. One guy is told that his wife is a vampire who is terrorizing the village. In particular she keeps going after a local kid. So the guy makes the tough choice to murder his wife but it turns out that the doctor was in on it and so the guy will spend the rest of his days locked up or executed in short order. This one feels like an easy one to survive for the main guy. For starters, he could ditch the wife early on, or live somewhere else and play dumb. It doesn’t seem like she was going to end up targeting him but I guess we don’t know that for sure. If he goes there, it’s tougher because the vampires don’t evaporate after dying so he will be on the hook for a crime either way. I give him 70% odds on the first and 50% on the second.

What I didn’t get is why the guy didn’t just talk to his wife. He went straight to deciding that she had to die but maybe they could have found some better way together. As his wife, the vampire deserved some time to talk things out. It just feels weird that you would completely side with the doctor over even giving your wife some kind of a chance. Not the strongest marriage bond here, that’s for sure.

Then we get back to the present to wrap things up. The ending is pretty effective and the movie really did a good job of keeping things moving at a solid speed. The best story was ultimately the Werewolf one and the worst was the Voodoo one. None of them were all that bad though and part of what helps with this are the special effects. The film clearly didn’t have much of a budget to work with and so there isn’t a lot of blood here. The deaths in the film tend to not be very gruesome either and even the dog who died wasn’t as gruesome as it would have been in just about any other film. For that reason it doesn’t hurt the film nearly as much as it would have otherwise.

Overall, This is one of those rare horror titles to actually get a positive score. It’s the kind of title that actually has a good amount of replay value and some good twists within it. Each story was crafted well and this is the kind of horror title that I look forward to. You don’t need all the gruesome details, just a good premise and some solid scares within. This one works as a good template all the way and proves that even anthologies can be good.

Overall 6/10

Toukiden: Kiwami Review

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Toukiden Kiwami is one of those games that goes all in on the whole monster smashing genre. You need to be prepared to fight hundreds of creatures before you make it to the end of the game as the campaign is quite sizable. It took me around 50 hours to finally complete this one and then there is a fairly lengthy post game afterwards. The devs certainly made sure that you got your money’s worth on this one.

The general premise is that monsters have taken over most of the world. Only a handful of safe zones remain for humans. They are guarded by the Slayers, warriors who can fight with enough power to repel these creatures. The main character is a prodigy who shows up out of nowhere with amnesia but quickly becomes one of the most dependable guys on the squad. He is determined to absolutely crush all of the monsters that get in his way but it won’t be easy. Additionally there appears to be some kind of super monster that is quickly approaching Earth.

The story itself is a bit like a mobile game. You get bits and pieces of the narrative after every few missions. You sometimes have to beat a few optional missions before you get to the next story one as well so that’s another thing to consider. You can upgrade your weapons and armor as you go through the game and the more chapters you complete, the more options you will have for customizing. The idea is that you are getting stronger as the monsters get stronger.

You need a lot of material for these weapons though so that’s where your pet comes in. You send him on missions to get resources while you complete the normal missions. Depending on how quickly you defeat the monster and how many parts you break, you will also be getting a whole lot of resources that way too. Money is not usually going to be a concern because you get a whole lot of it. The toughest part is really the RNG for getting materials as you can run into some bad luck at times. Just keep on completing the missions and eventually you’ll get what you need.

There are also your spirit allies. You will randomly recruit them as you complete missions and based on your weapon you can equip up to 3 of them. They can help a whole lot with their different stats. Naturally you know that I’m going to go with an attack build so I exclusively used those the whole time. Defense is good and all but nothing beats a good amount of raw attack power. Especially when you consider how long the missions can already be. You are given an hour to complete each mission but I wasn’t trying to come anywhere close to the maximum length for these stages.

For the story, it’s not super interesting unless you really end up liking the characters. There just isn’t enough momentum with how many breaks the game takes. The general premise is still solid enough as it’s essentially a human survival story but they could have done a little more with it. You’ll certainly know all of the characters pretty well by the end though. I’d say they were also able to accomplish a lot with what feels like a fairly limited budget.

You’re ultimately here for the gameplay after all and it is pretty fun. This is a 3D hack and slash title after all where you will be using your weapons to fight against the monsters. I chose a great sword for my playthrough but there are plenty of other weapons to use. You can switch weapons at any time and you certainly have enough money to buy them all. I ended up buying every weapon in the game that was available from the shop even though I didn’t use them. You are also able to build upgrade meter just from using the swords which is a really nice perk as opposed to having to use materials all the time.

There is a decent amount of stuff to do in the hub world. You can feed a tree for more materials and also go to the pool to build up your bonds with each character. Each of these are meant to help reduce the amount of repetition there is from the main combat. You want to make them be a part of your routine as well because they all give your character further boosts in strength and other stats. The boosts are fairly random but each do help out in the end.

Even with all of these things, you can expect some fights to take a long while. The bosses have a tendency to move around a whole lot and don’t let you recover your breath. You have 3 lives in each level although you will rarely need more than 1. The game isn’t really difficult, so much as it tests your tenacity. Will you keep fighting as hard when you see the boss’ health slowly moving? It’s all about continuing to persevere no matter what.

I’d also note that the computer’s AI is actually pretty good in this game. There are some titles where the side characters just watch or get knocked out but these guys contribute a whole lot. They were always ready to come in and heal me when needed and also did actual damage to the boss. These were some of the most helpful ally AI that I can think of. That made a real difference as well. There are 1-2 levels where you have to fight on your own and it really makes you miss them a whole lot.

The graphics may not have my favorite art style but it looks good enough. It reminds me of Dynasty Warriors to an extent but a bit more stiff. The combat within the game looks good. I would have liked more variety among the enemies but their designs are fierce and I enjoyed the attack animations. The soundtrack is also more on the forgettable side but there was one danger theme that I enjoyed. So in short, the technical elements are passable even if they aren’t super impressive.

Overall, I would definitely recommend this game. You may want to take some breaks if the repetition gets to you but the game’s sheer length is just really impressive. Even many RPGs don’t get all the way up to 50 hours. You will be playing this one for a long time and grinding is essentially mandatory if you want your gear to be ready for each new challenge. There is a lot of customizing so everyone’s journey will be a little different. You’ll get to really see what kind of weapon suits your playstyle. We’ll see if the sequel can keep up with this one.

Overall 7/10