Drop Review

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Now this was a tricky film for me to think about. I wasn’t even fully decided on how much I liked it when the movie ended. On one hand, it does handle the thriller aspects pretty well with a lot of suspense and everything. On the other hand the film’s entire plot revolves around everyone being slow on the uptake. It’s even worse when one guy is clearly tech savvy and then you have the fact that the film can be extremely cringe. It’s intentional….but cringe is cringe after all. So lets unpack this one.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Violet who had a traumatic experience with her ex-husband. Violet was able to piece her life back together after those events and is now a therapist who helps others with their problems. She has done her best to be the best single mom possible for her kid and now she is ready to get back out there and rebound with a new person. Violet simply doesn’t want to be single forever and she will be meeting up for the first time with someone that she met on an app. His name is Henry and they will be meeting as a super expensive, fancy restaurant for the first meetup. She gets there early and everything seems fine….until she starts getting some dangerous messages through wireless drops. This mysterious individual claims to have her son hostage and she must now follow all of his orders. How can she gets out of this situation?

Okay so lets address the elephant in the room. Violet should have immediately tuned the feature off. It’s not like air dropping is something that goes through no matter what. Just turn it off immediately! It takes a while before the messages mention that he has her kid so the whole film would have had to play out very differently. The film also goes out of its way to show that Henry knows how the air drops work. He explains it to Violet and even has apps on his phone that measure distance and everything. So he should have just told her how to turn it off. It’s a bit hard to get past this point since it is the crucial sticking point for the entire film. You’ll just be shaking your head the whole time. It’s not the kind of thing that would really hurt the film’s score for me but is a bit of a strike against the writing.

Well once we get past that, it does make for a decent mystery gimmick as Violet needs to find out who is sending the messages. That might sound pointless since it doesn’t change the hostage situation but I guess you could say it’s so that she can find some blindspots to contact the police. Unfortunately the villain has hacked all of the cameras so he can basically see her from everywhere. I will say that even here the film stretches some disbelief. Not so much in the hacking as we’ll say that the villain is just that powerful but that nobody talked about how he was constantly texting. There is a plot reason why this feels pretty unlikely and you would have heard something.

Thrillers tend to have a lot of disbelief attached to them but this one just felt particularly egregious. Now you have to remember that this is all happening during Violet’s first date. So that’s where the second hand cringe comes in as she keeps looking away to scan the perimeter, is super distracted, etc. Henry comes across as ultra patient with how long he hangs in there because I think most people would have given up early on. It would just be too much after a bit and nobody wants to be second fiddle in their own date. The person giving her the orders intentionally does it in a way to make her look as bad as possible.

She is still able to keep Henry interested with various tricks but that shouldn’t have been enough. Now, we do get some info on Henry about how good he is with tech and his background involves the government so he should be able to notice that something is wrong. I was actually expecting it the whole time but instead he seems to take it at face value that Violet is just kinda crazy. Surely the whole air drops thing should have been a good tipoff. Henry seems like a nice guy so I’m not going to go too hard on him but I just expected more there.

The film gives us a more explosive climax than I was expecting. It’s always nice to get some action in there even if it feels like the deck was too stacked in the villain’s favor. There was no realistic way for him to lose. Special props to Violet’s sister for hanging in there and doing her best as a babysitter. Nobody expects to have to fight for your life in that job but she pulled through and did what was needed. While the last scene in the film is for laughs and shouldn’t be taken too seriously….I did think that she deserved a bit more recognition. The joke just didn’t land tbh since Violet should be thanking her a whole lot. You’ll understand the context when you watch the film.

I really enjoyed the backgrounds and locale for the film. The restaurant looked really nice even if the food/drinks would probably not be so great. The annoying waiter would also hurt the experience there. That was one area where the film was trying way too hard to be funny. I think the humor there was the fact that he wasn’t funny so it was like a 4 layered joke but it just didn’t work. After a point it just loops around to not being funny again. At least the date being awkward makes sense in context but the waiter did not need to be here at all.

Also this may be a bit harsh but I didn’t think the backstory for Violet was necessary or even that it made a lot of sense. The villain uses it against her later on by saying that she has murdered people before and all that but when we see the context it is the biggest stretch ever. I know survivor bias is a real concept but usually that’s not mixed in with self defense. In a case like this I don’t see why Violet would have any real fears or trauma. Or more specifically, I can see it being a trauma in terms of not wanting to be near guns or being afraid to start dating again but not in any relation to taking a life. I would have rewritten it a bit to make her actually shoot the gun in which case I think it would have been a much stronger parallel. It would also establish that she is willing to take a life in order to protect her son and so to the viewer, maybe she would take more and more lives to continue keeping him safe. It’s still different since that was self defense and not murder but the way the film used this plot was a bit odd.

So in the end what are we looking at here? Is this still a good film or do all of these factors add up to make it a bad one? I was pretty indecisive throughout it all but by the end the answer became clear. This one is a good movie and so it makes it into the green. It’s not a film that I would likely rewatch on my own but I wouldn’t be opposed to it if someone else picked the movie. I also wouldn’t caution people away from watching it and may even recommend it to a fan of thrillers. I’d say the premise is better than the execution but it still got enough things right.

I also liked how the final boss started monologuing before going out. For a minute there I didn’t think we were going to have enough time for the ole speech. Even then we got another awkward conversation as Violet started trauma dumping and the villain clearly couldn’t care less but didn’t seem to know what to do in the moment except to keep eating his dessert.

Overall, Drop is a pretty memorable film and I think that is a strong point. I don’t regret seeing it or anything like that. Thrillers like this can be fun to think about what you would do in this situation. Once the orders begin coming in, it is really hard to get the upper hand again. You know that the villain isn’t bluffing after all but if you keep helping out there is still no guarantee that he will keep his word. For that reason I always think the best thing to do is to ignore the orders but obviously that is much easier said than done.

Overall 6/10

The Marvels Review

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The Marvels is one of those films that faded away pretty quickly but I did always enjoy the concept of what it was going for. It was a crossover for the main character of the movie Captain Marvel with the main character of the show Ms. Marvel along with one of the supporting characters of Wandavision. You can only really pull off that many crossovers when you’ve already got an expanded cast. That said, the power levels are very different among the 3 and for once that would be a bit of an issue. You would need to set up a threat weak enough for Monica and Kamala to fight which would mean nerfing Carol a bunch. And….that’s exactly what happened but on the whole I would say this was still a pretty good movie.

The title starts off quickly with the Kree getting their hands on the cosmic band. They are now led by Dar who seeks revenge on Carol for essentially causing a war which ruined her people. Her solution is to wipe everyone out to really stick it to Carol rather than prioritizing a fix for her people. Usually this would be an easy threat for Carol to stop considering how she was easily overwhelming Thanos. Unfortunately her powers have begun to go out of control so every time she uses them, she switches places with Kamala or Monica. Not a great way to stay focused during a fight.

The power swapping leads to some cool teamwork combos and is also a funny gag. So it was used for some positive things throughout the movie but I do have to be honest about how annoying it could be as well. I really wanted to see Carol just crushing her opponents instead of constantly being thrown out of the fight. She could have ended this movie in seconds otherwise. Honestly even with this gimmick she should have done better in the fights. In particular during the climax when she is fighting against Dar. Suddenly she just wasn’t looking as strong as normal and this continues until the very ending when she gets to ram Dar into deep space. It’s clear that working with a character this powerful was not easy for the film.

Carol has come a long way since her trainee days and it’s nice to see her taking charge throughout the movie. Kamala and Monica are new to the whole saving the world thing and so Carol is the one who really has to take charge and lead them. I’ say she did a good job of it too. Then we have Monica whose grudge with Carol feels a bit petty. Grudge may be the wrong word for it since part of the awkwardness is just Monica not really knowing how to talk to her. Still, the stakes are a bit too high for all of that right now.

I also think she should have been training with her powers a whole lot prior to the film’s events. She seemed to still be getting used to her abilities but enough time has passed from Wandavision where she should have a handle on them. Same for Kamala. During the opening fights she seems to be having a hard time and then by the end she is using the constructs like a pro. Part of Kamala’s entire character is that she really likes heroics and looks up to Captain Marvel as her hero. Surely that’s a lot of incentive to have been training all this time. I guess everyone was off their game though, even Nick Fury was having some trouble with random goons.

It might come down to the film just having more of a cheery tone than some of the other titles. This one feels more like a quick TV special than a full on movie. That’s not really a bad thing as it makes for a comfy watch. Part of why I enjoyed the film is it feels like an episode of superhero television, just in live action. Sometime you can pick up and watch for some fun without getting invested into a real end of the world plot. Maybe I wouldn’t feel as excited if I saw this one in theaters since it’s pretty short but the quality was there.

Also, power level issues aside, I thought Kamala made for a good character. I liked her enthusiasm and she was a great contrast to the other characters who were definitely not going to be as cheery. After all being a superhero should be really fun. It isn’t always sunshine and flowers of course but having powers seems like it would be super fun. So it was nice to have one character just enjoying the journey.

Now one other issue about the film being so happy is that it does have to gloss over some of the more serious details of the film. For example Carol forces the other heroes to leave a planet while tons of innocents were still there. Kamala wanted to save them but is overruled and the body count was rather massive. Usually you’d expect a full argument about this and a lot of back and forth but Kamala continues to idolize Carol and doesn’t dwell on it too much. I thought that was a little too easy. It’s a really serious decision and there should have been some pushback.

Carol was right in that moment that they couldn’t save everyone but with her powers she certainly could have saved many more. Kamala should have grilled her on that and it should have been a cause for tension for a while. A good example of this disillusionment would be what happened with Shazam and Superman in Justice League. Having a moment shatter the image of your hero is a big deal. So the film should have really stayed on that more.

Even the fact that a ton of the Kree died indirectly due to Carol’s actions from the first film should have been dwelled on more. Sure, Dar is mainly using that as an excuse but it’s an interesting plot point. I would argue that Carol had no way of knowing the effects she would cause and also didn’t have many options at the time since the supreme intelligence was evil. It’s like when you take down a dictator and now the innocents suffer due to the chaos at the top. It’s something you try to mitigate but doesn’t change the fact that the dictator had to be taken down.

As for Dar, she’s not a very compelling villain at all. She tends to get the shaft in this film with how fast it goes. Her motives are pretty basic and there isn’t much to her fighting style. So nothing really makes her standout. The film itself isn’t the most forgettable but most of the memorable parts will not include her. The prince from the musical kingdom probably ends up leaving more of an impact. She is powerful to be sure but that’s it. Dar essentially works as a living obstacle to the heroes.

The musical planet was a fun little subplot though. It’s an example of a joke that was done pretty well and did not overstay its welcome. If the scene had been 10 minutes longer then I’d probably be shaking my head but it was short enough to work. Then we had the scene of the cats eating everyone which was decent but in context I don’t think it works super well. The fact that everyone was running for their lives was a bit crazy. I think at least half of them would have in theory taken this in stride and running off would just burn a lot of time that the heroes didn’t have. Also with how the cats would randomly spit the objects out, I’m not sure how much I would trust the plan.

Overall, The Marvels was pretty good. It’s not really going to stand out because this feels like a fairly generic adventure. The heroes aren’t really taking the stakes too seriously and they’re so much stronger than the villains that we need a whole energy plot device to prevent them from ending the film too quickly. I don’t think a lack of ambition is a big enough reason to say that a film is bad though. Ultimately it was still fun which is the important part. There were no really bad scenes and the writing was good enough. I thought the banter worked pretty well and since the film was playing it super safe, it’s not like it was going to be making any big mistakes. The post credits scene is more interesting than exciting. I would have chosen almost any other guest star character from the team to make the scene a lot better but I’l still take it. This is seemingly a pretty important scene. So if you enjoy a classic superhero team up then you should check this movie out.

Overall 7/10

Monsters University Review

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I can barely believe that Monsters University came out over 10 years ago. To me this feels like it was just the other day as I still lump it in with the modern prequel/sequel craze that’s taken over. Well, I can say this one wasn’t a cash grab as it actually works really well as a prequel. I’d even say that it beats the original one. Perhaps that’s a bit of recency bias but the whole movie goes by really quickly and has no real weaknesses. I was entertained the whole way through and the character cast is small but strong.

The movie centers around Mike who wants to be a great scarer. He got to see a professional in action when he was a kid and that has inspired him to choose this career choice. Unfortunately Mike is a rather small monster who doesn’t look very imposing. In order to be a scarer, you have to be able to scare kids under any circumstances. Can Mike really get around this issue? He studies his butt off but it never seems to make a difference. Meanwhile Sully is from a family of elite scarers and is a scary looking bear monster. He doesn’t study at all and yet he still looks scary. Both characters will have to reluctantly team up in order to win the annual scare tournament.

There are a lot of positive things to say about the film but the first one is how it’s realistic about Mike’s situation. A lesser film would have gone the cheesy route and just had him train until everyone found him to be really scary. It might be a fun way to end the film but it wouldn’t make a lot of sense. While Mike does improve on his technique, the film is consistent in showing that he will just never be as scary as some of the other monsters and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. He’s just going to need to look into some different careers or maybe get creative and do some things to help make him scarier. That could have worked as an alternative ending where he gets a mech suit or something.

Mike is a fun character either way and I enjoyed his banter with Sully. Mike never really backs down which is nice to see. He may not be the toughest monster on the block but he’s not going to be pushed around either. He gets a good share of victories thanks to his book smarts as well. Meanwhile Sully starts out as more of a total slacker but starts to really try later on. It takes a while for the lessons to really sink in though as he initially just goes through the motions without really believing it. Ironically the moment where he decides to break some rules is when he really became part of the team. To be clear, breaking the rules was not a good thing. Even if you do that to help another person out, cheating is still cheating.

Sully learned a lot throughout the film and so that made for a good character arc. If there were any weak characters, well I guess they would be the rest of the team. I think you could have written the film in a way where there would be less teammates even if they did contribute to the character arcs of both Mike and Sully. They had to learn how to work with other characters who seemingly had no potential. I would have preferred for the other characters to have locked in a bit more though. It didn’t feel like they were super determined to succeed. Almost like this was just a mild hobby for them but not something that they were staking everything on.

Meanwhile we had a few antagonists here. First up was the cool Omega club. Those guys were fun and I thought they were handled well. The film kept itself from making them too extreme. Yes they were jerks and humiliating the main characters but they didn’t cross the bridge into being totally evil or anything. Just the normal amount of school bullying that you would expect.

Likewise the principal is abusing her power to be sure and being rather petty in how she handles Mike & Sully, but isn’t trying to beat them up or anything like that. You can also absolutely understand why she was upset since they broke a really precious heirloom to her. You probably should have expected it to be broken at some point though. This is a school for monsters after all….

The animation is pretty solid throughout the film. It’s not exactly going to be winning any awards of standing out a ton but the style works well enough for the film. I enjoyed the glow in the dark challenge as the heroes had to try and dodge some sticky spikes that would slow them down. This isn’t exactly an action film so it doesn’t get to show off with fight scenes but this would be the closest thing to that. There isn’t much of a soundtrack this time around either so I wouldn’t expect any big tunes.

The film’s a little too short to show us all of the tournament rounds but the ones that we did get were pretty fun. I liked the challenge of sneaking up on the librarian and of course the final battle was pretty good with the scares. The twist in there even surprised me when it first happened. The movie handles itself beautifully both in how it sets up the main film and how it works as a stand alone title. You don’t need to have seen Monsters Inc. to be able to appreciate this one.

No film is going to be perfect on the humor but the jokes we get tend to be pretty decent. There is a rushed romance at the end that’ll make you cringe and generally I thought the teammates were not funny. Outside of that, the jokes hold their own. As long as you enjoy Mike and Sully then you’re in a good spot here since their gags tend to be a blast with each one easily being triggered by the other.

Overall, Monsters University was pretty fun. I had a better time with it than I expected. It’s not like I thought it would be a bad film or anything like that but I guess I expected it to be a little less focused. More of a fun prequel with the cast messing around as opposed to actually being rather serious and having a tight story. The school background can be hit or miss in these films but this one worked really well. If you haven’t seen the film yet then I would definitely recommend changing that.

Overall 7/10

Splatoon 2 Review

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Splatoon 2 is one of those games that I didn’t think I would be buying for a long time. Still, it’s hard to turn down a great deal and so now I can say that I’m a bit deeper into the franchise. It makes for a pretty decent sequel. I still wish the games had a bit more aura to them and more compelling story elements but the title itself isn’t bad. I’ve got my nitpicks here and there but on the whole it is a good game.

The general plot revolves around a famous singer going missing. The prime suspects are those Octo fighters that are always causing a whole lot of trouble. They will need to be dealt with but it won’t be easy. These guys have been behind the scenes for years and the original Splatoon agent from the first game is busy on another mission. As a result the agency is forced to hire a new guy to take charge. Is he ready for this?

One thing about the mute main characters is you can always let them get right down to business. There is no hesitation or anything like that as he leaps right into action. The game has 5 worlds which each have around 4-7 levels in them. You use your variety of weapons to complete each level but in most cases you will be forced to use a specific one. I figured the final boss would be a level where you could pick any weapon so imagine my surprise when they forced me to use a weapon that I had not upgraded at all? It actually made for a reasonably challenging final boss as a result since I had to make the best of it. I even lost once which is pretty impressive for a Splatoon title. The boss also had 3 phases which was pretty detailed.

The core gameplay here is that of a 3D shooter. You can’t move very quickly on land so you shoot paint on the ground so that you can submerge in it and then zip around the level. You have to do some platforming to get past obstacles and then you shoot down any opponents who get too close. This will take a lot of practice and timing to master as you just feel very sluggish at first. I don’t think the controls are amazing but this game is built for online play. In theory since everyone has to deal with the same limitations then it works well enough.

You can shoot bombs which takes up a significant amount of ink and then of course you have all the guns I mentioned earlier. I personally prefer the dual guns which is why I maxed them out. It was just too bad that I couldn’t use them for any of the bosses past that point. You have to find bonus fish throughout the levels as well as orange orbs in order to level up each weapon. They can be a little difficult to find but granted I was prioritizing the story above all so I wasn’t searching a whole lot.

I do think that one thing which would immediately make the gameplay better would be to increase the default movement speed. It feels like you’re moving through molasses half the time unless you’re swimming and I think that can be a bit much. Just make the running speed around 20% faster and it would make an absolutely massive amount of difference. Trust me that would be a really good thing all around. It would automatically make the gameplay feel a whole lot more intense.

The graphics aren’t bad. They are going for a very colorful look with this one as the characters are very cartoony. It’s aged well and that’s definitely not an area where I would take fire at the game. The soundtrack is much weaker, it’s just not really my style. They even try to add a big song at the end since the game is about finding a singer and it did not really work. The made up squid language just isn’t all that engaging and so it ends up bringing everything down around it. Not a good idea if you ask me. They should just have them all talk normally and that would be better.

In terms of replay value, well it depends if the servers are still up. I’m actually not sure if they are and either way they probably won’t have a lot of traffic since everyone would be playing the newer titles. The story doesn’t have any real replay value. I guess you could find more fishes but there’s no real reason to do so. No more bosses to defeat or levels to unlock so that basically defeats the purpose there.

Overall, Splatoon 2 is a good game but not one that I would feel the need to pick up again. I commend it for having an actual story and even providing a decent amount of levels though. A lot of times nowadays you will see online games completely forsake the offline portion of the adventures which is not a good idea. You want to have some balance and this game would have been much weaker if there was no story. If you see it around for an easy $10 then I would definitely recommend this one. We don’t have a ton of third person shooter titles out there so you have to take what you can get. The game may not be hype but the actual gameplay is fun enough.

Overall 6/10

Moonstruck Review

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Oh no it’s time for one of those messy romance films where everyone is cheating on each other. Obviously a romance is going to automatically be a bad one when there is cheating involved because that isn’t true love. Cheating immediately shows that there is a rebound and that neither character can be trusted. They have broken their word and honor by engaging in the act right from the start. Even if it’s meant to be a way to show how dramatic these adventures can be or to try for a jaded sense of realism, that’s not going to be enough to save this. It is absolutely possible to have a film that is good in spite of the characters being terrible but this was not that kind of film.

The movie starts off with Loretta finally getting proposed for marriage by her boyfriend. She has been waiting for this moment for a long time after her first marriage fell apart. This is really her chance in order to land a man before she has become too old. Johnny is excited as well but he has to go on a work trip for a while so he heads on out. Unfortunately this gives time for his brother Ronny to show up and this guy falls for Loretta right away. He is determined to get her and unfortunately her willpower may not be all that strong. Can she stay loyal to Johnny?

Well obviously she doesn’t and I wouldn’t even call that a spoiler because she doesn’t even last 5 minutes. Instead she tries to just say they should forget about it and her strategy is to hang out with Ronny but not let things get too serious. It’s a terrible plan right from the start to be honest and she was just being in denial. Once you’ve already crossed the line then there is no way back out. You just have to accept the fact that you’re a terrible person and retreat from all relationships. Johnny certainly didn’t deserve his and keeping it a secret would also be a terribly toxic way of handling things. Loretta was just a really terrible character all the way through. Ronny takes a ton of blame as well but I always put more on the person who is actually in a relationship.

Obviously Ronny broke the unspoken rules about not dating someone who is already dating a family member. He also shouldn’t be going after women who are taken and so there was no saving this character either. Just a poor character all the way through. The only correct option for him would have been to stay away from Loretta. Even if he truly fell head over heels in love with her, e was simply too late and just has to accept that.

Meanwhile Loretta’s father Cosmo is also a terrible character all the way as he decides to cheat on his wife the whole time. She handles this a little too calmly as well by just telling him to stop and things will be fine but he is taking all the blame here for being the one to start the cheating relationship. The guy wasn’t even sorry that he did it, just that he was caught.

Johnny is mostly innocent in all of this but then looks absolutely terrible in accepting the circumstances at the end of the film. A betrayal like this is not something that you just accept and cheer on. The whole ending is laughably bad and while I think that is part of the whole point of the ending, it still makes you shake your head. Johnny wimping out was ultimately for the best as he would have been in a terrible relationship but that’s only with knowledge from being outside the film. From in-universe it is just a bad look all around.

There really aren’t any good characters here. At least Loretta’s mother resisted the advances of one guy who tried to get with her but she was definitely playing with fire by eating with him in the first place. There is nothing wrong with having friends even once you’re married but you really need to be very smart about each interaction. You have to be able to read the other person and make sure that they aren’t going to try and make a move on you because at that point it would be too late to do anything about that. It’s easy to say you have too much willpower to do anything until it ends up happening. I wouldn’t trust any of the characters in this film at all.

In short there just weren’t any really strong elements to the film. Their conversations tended to be on the annoying side and are the kinds of dialogue that just ruin the reputation of romance itself. Characters settling because they are getting old, cheating just so that they can postpone death, etc. It’s basically a combination of all the worst tropes about romance and what some people think it is all about. I definitely tend to prefer the more idealistic version of romance with true love and each person never falling for a rebound. That’s how it is supposed to work after all and this film just wasn’t able to understand that. A relationship is about pure trust and pure love. If you’re settling or still checking out the market afterwards then it’s a bad romance definitionally.

Overall, Moonstruck is definitely one of those films that I would avoid. The romance is pretty terrible, we’re talking on the level of the Titanic here. Maybe even worse than that to be honest with how many pairings there were. There was just no saving any of these characters and the film is reasonably long. That time could have been used to make a good romance instead. I’m all for having a bunch of drama but it has to be the right kind. This one will definitely not go down as a solid title. At least the moon looked nice, it always stands out in the sky.

Overall 2/10

Vera Cruz Review

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It’s time for a retro western. Well I guess you don’t even need to call it retro because they don’t really make westerns anymore hehe. This was not one of the better ones. The villains get away with way too much the whole time and you re left shaking your head. At best I can say that the ending was decent although one character comes across as looking like a bit of a sucker. He lets things go on for too long just for the sake of his personal pride/honor.

The film starts off by introducing us to two big shot gunmen. The first is Joe, who is one of those guys who believes in might makes right. He will do whatever he wants in order to succeed even if that means constantly betraying folks. He even tells Ben that nobody can be trusted in this world. Then you have Ben who has much more of a strict honor code. He is a lone gun right now thanks to tragic circumstances from his past but doesn’t want to lose himself. Naturally there is a whole lot of tension between the two of them. They are both recruited by a group of fighters who oppose the Mexican government. These guys have actually taken control of a great deal of the country and have the upper hand. Is their money worth choosing the wrong side in this civil war?

While the Mexican civil war is the backdrop for the whole film, I wouldn’t say that it is super important. The film seems to show the Mexican government as being the good guys here and so ideally that is the case but I’m not familiar with the two factions. Within the context of this movie the fighter group definitely appeared to be crooked with all of their underhanded tricks though. The government constantly took the high road even if it backfired several times with hostages being taken.

At one point they had the main characters cornered but unfortunately a bunch of kids ran in and got held hostage. The government should have fired as soon as the villains approached the kids. Hesitating like that is likely why they lost the country in the first place. Throughout the film we are shown the contrast of how Ben is not nearly as ruthless as Joe. I would just say that it’s a bit hollow considering that he is still working with the guy. I don’t give you a whole lot of points for standing by while other villains are doing their thing. That’s just not how this all works.

Ben was also just too passive in general. At one point a girl shows up and pickpockets him. He takes forever to notice and by the time he asks for it back, she has already spent all of the money. Ben ultimately doesn’t mind and falls for her anyway but it makes him look like a real soft touch. Joe really criticizes him for this and it’s the only time that the guy is right. Ben was putting everyone in danger for not being able to control his feelings. Then it all climaxes at the end where he is faced off with an unrepentant villain and still can’t take the shot because he wants them both to be on even playing field. Just not a smart decision.

I can’t say that Joe was much better though. I did think that the way he was constantly grinning throughout the movie was interesting though. It made him look particularly unhinged which I think was the overall point. So that was handled really well. That being said, it will always be hard to root for a villain. Especially one like Joe who is still obsessed with both women and gold. It’s not like he is fighting for some kind of grand cause or anything like that. The guy just wants all of life’s pleasures with no real responsibility.

As I mentioned before, the villains just get away with way too much throughout the film. The way you could have saved Ben’s character would have been to bump a few of them off early on. The two villains ride with a band of thugs who end up getting to the main heroine at one point for a while before the main two break it up. It’s always going to be too late when the main characters get their after contact and just makes them complicit the whole time. The film really could have used a good sheriff character who would show up to take care of these guys. That would have really made a big difference.

I don’t think a film like this was ever going to be great but removing a scene like that would still do a lot of good. The heroine wasn’t even a solid character as she had to use a lot of tricks in order to complete her mission. It’s always an annoying subplot to have to resort to that instead of just taking everyone down with a gun. That’s the most direct way to claiming victory and you always wonder why it doesn’t happen more often. The wild west will always give you plenty of opportunities to pick people off.

Overall, Vera Cruz was definitely not a good wild west title and is one that you will want to stay way from. It takes most of the worst elements of the genre like the general lawlessness of it all and doesn’t add in a lot of strengths to offset the whole thing. As a result the film itself never ends up being all that fun. The old style script is the only thing you can really give the film and that’s not much. I dare say that a film covering the actual civil war would have been much better and more entertaining. That would have ensured more big battles and definitely a more likable set of main characters. If you are ever in a situation where you have the upper hand against a villain, don’t give him time to go for his gun.

Overall 2/10

The Last House Review

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This is one of those films that just kept on getting worse and worse the more it went on. The film just didn’t know how to wrap things up and so the situation had to drag out a whole lot. It also made some key mistakes including adding a dog to the picture. That was never going to go over well and sure enough it ended up dooming this adventure. I’d definitely recommend staying far away from this title.

The film starts off with Jason going fishing. He doesn’t do very well but enjoys the sport for how relaxing it can be. A storm is brewing so he heads on home to be with his family. Unfortunately he quickly realizes that there is no way out. Everyone across the planet has now been locked inside of their houses and anyone who was outside is now dead. He has a lot of food at home so he and the rest of the family can last a few months but then it will all be game over. Who is doing this and how can the heroes manage to survive? The odds are not in his favor.

The movie starts off very cryptically but gradually we see what is going on here. It turns out that aliens have shown up. I go with aliens personally but it’s also implied that they came from the ocean. Unfortunately their goals and powers don’t make a whole lot of sense. It’s hard to get too much into the issues without spoilers so I’ll stick to broad strokes. They were able to shut off the gas and electricity right away but still let the heroes access running water and TV for a long time? Somehow people were still running around outside for days/weeks after the genocide so did the aliens get sloppy or are they just sadistic and wanted to let people stay alive longer?

Clearly they have a whole lot of hatred in their hearts for the humans and yet the ending undercuts their stubbornness in a big way. The ending just wasn’t earned and it goes for the wrong moral here as the humans needed to do all they could to crush these things. It’s hard to say exactly how durable they are but you have to give it your best effort. It was the only thing that one of the kids did right in his attempts to escape. I don’t see why you would just allow yourself to be a prisoner forever, that’s no life.

The main characters get a whole lot of plot armor the whole time though as the creatures should have finished them off early on. The only reason they did not is because these were the main characters so it really doesn’t count for much. Most of the characters look bad by the end. The only one who really stayed strong was Jason and even then he has a lot of moments for self doubt. I just give him more credit because he did keep his family alive.

Without him the others would have died early on. He is the one who kept the fight alive and never stopped struggling. His wife was very supportive for a while but gave up at different points in the film. She also joined the two kids in talking about how distant Jason was. Look, I’m not saying Jason was perfect by any means but as a father/husband his number one priority was figuring out a way to stop the creatures. He succeeded and that just came at the expense of his emotions for a while there.

I just find it hard to sympathize with the other characters. The son in particular is annoying with how he makes fun of Jason’s efforts to fix a car which took several years. He could have been gracious about the whole thing instead of immediately throwing cold water on the effort. It was just a really bad look for him. As for the daughter, she is younger for a lot of the film and not really able to do much. By the end of the film she starts acting like the creatures may not be that bad. Clearly she doesn’t remember how they brutally destroyed the jogger outside and have sealed everyone within their homes. It just comes across as dangerously naive to look at the aliens as anything other than mass murderers.

All of that said, what really crushed the film was the subplot about their sick dog. The dog needs medicine or he starts to have a heart attack and unfortunately there is no way to buy more pills as the film goes on. This inevitably leads to some rough scenes and this should not have been in the film. The movie also has the characters get awfully pragmatic about the lack of food coming up and so things get even darker. That was enough to sink the whole film. There is just no getting past that and the film didn’t have to get this grim dark. We also have a lot of animal hunting scenes and one even getting its neck broken just to underscore how dark the whole thing is. Nothing about the film is subtle.

I dare say you have to try all other avenues to the point of death first. I was unconvinced about the attempts to escape the house. Yes the water would block it but you have to keep trying to plug holes in there over and over. It’s a case where you have to assume it would have failed or someone around the world would have tried that but I would have liked to have seen more attempts. Then you also have the later parts of the film where the creature wanders into the house once in a while. That’s when you obviously have to attack and push your way past him.

When we found out that Jason had a gun I was expecting something like that by the end but it ended up all being a red herring. The film feels like a red herring at times with some interesting ideas but nothing comes of them. I wanted to learn what the monsters were doing and where was the government? Surely there were a good amount of people who fought back from outside the houses when the whole situation started. This is a film that desperately needed world building. It was almost 2 hours too so there was plenty of time to do that instead of having constant time skips. The film should have cut quite a few of those out because it also gets less scary when the characters have been surviving just fine for years. That undermines the villains all the way.

A film about everyone being stuck at home is really interesting but you have to think about the premise all the way around so it isn’t easy to stick a bunch of holes in it. The idea is so much better than the execution and it isn’t even close. Maybe Netflix will get it right next time but I have my doubts. If a remake was announced I would still be interested in checking it out though.

Overall, The Last House is definitely a film that will fade in your memory over time. It did not make any of the right decisions and that really limited its potential. In the way you always need to find a way to surpass the odds and deliver a scary product that is still fun. That didn’t happen here and so you can do much better. You won’t want to invest 2 hours into this title that doesn’t even give you a great payoff in the end.

Overall 1/10

Armored Core Review

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After all these years I’ve gotten to play the original Armored Core now. The series has been known as the most difficult mech series for a long time now. If Madden is a football simulation, this would be known as a robotic simulation series. You actually have to craft your mech and add in the new parts that you want to use. At the same time there are strict weight requirements for each part that you have to keep in mind. Unlike most games you cannot just equip whatever you want. That’s not how this works and each part has around 10-12 stats as well. You better start studying!

The story follows a group named Raven that are basically terrorists for hire. The main character is a new recruit to the gang and so he just follows orders. The orders come from two competing companies that are always trying to one up the other and destroy the opposition. In a way that means you are destroying each corporation a little bit at a time. Throughout all of this you have people saying cryptic stuff and trying to get the lead to leave Raven. Raven might actually be the mastermind behind all of this.

I have to say that the main character isn’t very heroic either way. He willingly says yes to missions like murdering squatters and resisters all the time without batting an eye. So even if he starts to get wary once the threat comes close to home, it’s a bit late for that. This guy is completely complicit and it’s definitely interesting to be playing a full villain like this. It’s not like it is the only time that it has happened but it is still rare overall.

The gameplay is a little more complicated than usual just like the rest of the game. You shouldn’t expect to just run in and start blasting. For starters there isn’t a traditional lock on so you have to try and face the opponent. This is difficult because they are always boosting around you so you have to boost, strafe, and fire at the same time. You must keep an eye on your engine throughout this process as well or you will overheat.

It is really tough to keep all of this in mind at all times and the enemies are frankly super fast. It’s incredibly difficult to get a bead on them for long so you should expect to be on the back foot most of the time here. You do have a close combat sword that you can use but it has a long startup time and will leave you vulnerable if you miss. To make up for that it does have devastating attack power so sometimes it is worth the risk.

Without the PS5 built in rewind system this would have been even more difficult. It’s definitely not the kind of game that you can just walk in and conquer at any time. The levels are also high stakes because there is no way to go backwards. If you lose a level then you pay a fine and there is no way to go backwards. So now you have lost money which means you have less time to buy an upgrade and get prepared before the final boss. Lost enough levels and you will be in a really difficult spot. Some levels are quick but others are really long so this will keep you unbalanced the whole time.

I also could never figure out which weapons and engines to buy. Ultimately I had to run through a ton of different setups before I could beat the final boss. That one was incredibly tough even with rewind. Yeah this game is definitely not for the faint of heart at all and the difficulty lives up to the hype. There isn’t really much replay value when you beat the game but it does unlock the ability to play levels that you may have skipped earlier. There won’t be a lot of them but there are a few that you don’t get to play based on the levels that you do select.

I am looking forward to the more story based games in the future though. Games like this where you can absorb the lore from the background are fun too of course but it’s still not quite the same as actually getting out there and just being able to enjoy the cutscenes. They just need to have a good lore reason for why you can get to the garage and begin your repairs after each round but you can always just say that the main character has a secret cave for when things get dodgy.

Overall, Armored Core is not one of the greatest games out there. It is a good title but doesn’t really have the simplicity that makes a lot of other titles good. It will never be on Gundam’s level for example but I totally get the need for at least one really realistic mecha series. For people who really love customization then this will really hit home. I definitely intend to play the other Armored Core titles at some point, perhaps sooner than you may expect. In the meantime you can pick this one up for $10 from PSN so I’d definitely recommend doing so. It’s hard to go wrong for that price and you want to experience an armored core at least once so you can see just how intense it is.

Overall 6/10

Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another vampire film and this one is made by Horror. Needless to say, this was doomed from the start. Both of those things are usually connected to the absolute worst films around and when you mix them together then that’s a recipe for disaster. Ultimately this film was not able to rise above my first impressions there and at best you can give it credit for some original decisions.

The film introduces us to Captain Kronos who is a powerful fighter. He has been slaying vampires for a long time along with his partner Professor Grost. This time he is tasked with finding a potential vampire in a small village. This will not be an easy task as Kronos will need to lay out some traps and gradually begin getting suspects. In the meantime this vampire will keep on picking more and more people off. Kronos also runs into a lady named Carla who was about to be executed. After saving her, she decides to become his girlfriend but is there any time for this?

Okay lets blast through all of the issues first. Right away one of the big ones is naturally going to be the usual vampire violence. I’m not big on the blood sucking at all and that is always a main part of this genre. It’s a bit different than some others since the vampire is more interested in stealing vitality but equals out to the same thing. The vampire also uses the usual hypnosis to force the victims into accepting their fate rather than running off to live another day.

We’ve also got the very shallow kind of romance at the ready here. Yes, Kronos saved Carla’s life so you can see why she would be grateful but this doesn’t immediately have to turn into a relationship. She jumps right into the one night stand kind of situation without batting an eye. I feel like the Hammer films like to use any excuse for a bit of fanservice. It’s not as crazy as in some of their other titles but still comes across as unnatural.

The characters also aren’t all that interesting. Professor Grost is easily rage baited by the villains to the point where he doesn’t realize that they were being paid off to instigate a fight. Both Kronos and Carla seemed to figure that out right away so why didn’t the professor? He is a good ally to have around and helps out a lot with the weapons and everything but you feel like he could have done a whole lot better.

As for Kronos, well I suppose he’s your classic hero. I don’t get the feeling that he is the most dependable guy in a relationship with how fast he was moving here but maybe he wouldn’t rebound later on. His fighting skills are pretty good though and surpass the film’s budget. He essentially vanishes mid combat to show off how fast he is. I appreciate that from a power level sense but then his final plan is terrible. He sends Carla into the vampire’s lair as bait and then takes his sweet time to get there. He takes the time to look at a skull in the upper floors and this distracts him while Carla is attacked.

If not for a significant degree of plot armor, she would have been dead. Prior to Carla, all of the other victims were destroyed right away. A good example of this was earlier in the same film. The heroes all staked out the location where the vampire would be striking and a girl was walking on by. Well, they lost sight of her and so she was destroyed before she could even get close. Not a good look at all. It’s why you feel like Kronos should have done a lot more before the ending.

As for the vampire, well the identity of the final boss is a twist of course. Still, I wouldn’t say that the villain was very impressive or imposing. This long term plan had a ton of risks with it and I would say that the character even got lucky. It’s not like vampires ever tend to be all that interesting but this was still pretty egregious even for that. You also had a pair of siblings who are around for lore but don’t do much of anything. It was a little funny to see them standing so still in the background during the big battle.

The final battle is essentially fencing so it wasn’t terribly interesting but I give the film some credit there. Still, there is just nothing really to enjoy about the film. If you heavily lean into the action angle then it is possible to make a vampire film that is actually decent but it is incredibly difficult and not something that just any title can do.

There isn’t much to talk about regarding the setting as it looks like basically any old town. The writing is okay I suppose but just about everyone in town seems to be evil. There aren’t many characters that Kronos can count on. The doctor who invited him there had to be bumped off naturally and it wasn’t the most painless way to go out either. The other humans at the bar didn’t even need to be mind controlled because they were already content to murder the main characters for a little money. With humanity being so corrupt in this town, it’s no wonder that a vampire was able to get so far.

Overall, This film was definitely a mess and is not going to end up being known as a solid title. It does at least try to have the usual twists and turns but ultimately comes down to just being another slasher title. It takes forever for Kronos to stop the vampire from murdering everyone and so the victory feels hollow. It doesn’t even make all that much sense on why Kronos left without Carla. She totally could have kept going on the journey and instead it seems like he’ll probably just be rebounding before now. Perhaps this could have become a really cool movie series some day but that day isn’t today.

Overall 1/10