Fire Emblem Fortune’s Weave Review

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Fortune’s Weave got a ton of hype when it was first coming out. This was going to be the big Switch 2 title to finally show that Nintendo was still operating at the highest levels. Fire Emblem games always have a lot of content to them but this would be taking it to an entirely new level. The game was going to have 4 complete campaigns within it and a ton of replay value. It took me nearly 70 hours to complete the game so I can definitely confirm that the reputation was deserved.

The game starts off with you playing as the savior of the world who must stop the apocalypse which has arrived at your door. The greatest warriors in history have all been turned over to the dark side and you are forced to destroy them all. These undead zombies will keep on regenerating infinitely though and so one of the goddesses manipulates causality to send us into the past. From there you can choose between 4 fire lords in order to complete their campaign. There are 3 parts to the game. The first part is 12 chapters for each of the 4 main characters, the second part is around 6 chapters for each one, and then they all converge on the final part.

A cool thing about the game is how much freedom you have. You can make this a quick game by just playing as one main character and rush to the end. In case it seems like you can even skip all 4 and dash to the end since the door is active but it’s possible that a barrier would stop you. This would just put you in a nearly unwinnable situation because the sheer number of enemy units would be too much. In a way you get to control how difficult the game is. The more campaigns you complete, the more soldiers you will have at your disposal for the final war.

From before I had even purchased the game, I knew that I would be playing all 4 campaigns. The fact that they all exist on the same save file is what made my decision clear. I wouldn’t bother with this if you had to start from scratch each time. Since that wasn’t the case, it felt to me like the organic way of playing this game was to experience each campaign. As such, that’s exactly what I did and it made for a really satisfying experience. It’s impressive how much content is completely unique for each story even if they do converge at some points.

You are also rewarded for actually playing through each story because the auto levels that the characters do off screen progress at much weaker intervals. For example a character you manually leveled from 1-20 will have far greater stats than a CPU who took him to level 20. It really emphasizes that human spirit there. In terms of the individual stories, Leda’s is probably the most interesting. She’s trying to avenge her father by murdering everyone who was involved in the attack on her kingdom. There are quite a lot of people who were involved so this is not a short list. Cai’s story is a bit more basic as he is trying to win the big tournament in order to save his father from the death sentence. Dietrich just wants to fight a bunch of strong opponents in order to satiate his bloodlust. Finally Theodora is trying to win the tournament in order to reclaim her ancestor’s birthright to the haunted islands. There are also a number of other characters trying to win the tournament for their own gain.

Originally there were going to be 8 stories but that wasn’t ready in time and so the second batch of 4 stories will be upcoming DLC. That’s definitely going to be really ambitious, almost like another game. I’m expecting that these stories will be shorter but it’s impressive just how much content the game is about to get on top of what is already there. There are also more gameplay mechanics than you may expect. There are close to a dozen classes, you have your equipment to polish, praying at the temples for power-ups, training your stats, etc. Then you also have all of the free roam activities like fixing buildings, completing quests, and obtaining materials in caves.

That comes to my only downside which is that the game does have a day/night system. For example you may have 5 days of free time before the next story mission. That means after you complete 5 actions, you will be forced to enter the next stage. It makes the game feel like a bit of a tease at times because there is not enough time to have fun with all of the modes/features that are available. Now, I hear that this becomes less of an issue as you do more playthroughs because your data is retained but that’s still rough. I never like a day/night system in general. Give me complete freedom and that’s a much better deal.

Also, the game actually penalizes you for playing each of the campaigns simultaneously. I found this out after starting the stories but it was a bit annoying. Basically you are meant to finish part 1 for a character first. Then you start character b and the game will auto complete all side quests and activities that you did with the first character. This will allow you more time to complete other missions and eventually the content won’t be so daunting. To me it had always felt more organic to play the stories simultaneously though so that was rough. I had to re-complete the side quests each time. Maybe it would have been difficult to set the code up to do a check after every chapter but that would have been more fun.

The gameplay is your classic strategy, Fire Emblem style. You control a number of units and control them all across an overheard board. Then your opponents respond in kind. The goal is to wipe them all off the map before your captain is defeated. This kind of game requires a ton of strategy and one wrong move can foil your whole operation. It feels really satisfying to complete a level after a lot of trial and error.

The game also tests how well you have understood the mechanics as it gets really difficult by the end. You better have made sure that you maxed out your blessing with at least one goddess before the end. I recommend maxing out Kalla since she increases your chance of dodging an enemy’s attack for 10 turns. That is incredibly useful here but each goddess has a different blessing so maybe you will prefer someone else’s.

The graphics are definitely great like you would expect. The characters look sharp and all of the attacks are really colorful. This is the kind of game that is really using all of the Switch 2’s power. There are a number of great cinematics here as well. Fire Emblem has never been afraid to get rather intense so you can also expect a higher stakes Nintendo game than usual. Each twist and turn will really have you be surprised.

In terms of replay value, well even if the game had 0 it wouldn’t be a problem with a 70 hour campaign. Still, there is a ton of replay value with the over 100 possible recruits you can obtain through the story. Upgrading each weapon will also take a long time. This is the kind of game that someone could sit down with for a very long time to try and 100% it. That’s not in the cards for me but I can see why this game is already so beloved. It’s absolutely one of the all time best Fire Emblems for me as well.

Overall, I definitely recommend buying this one. Fire Emblem continues to be a standout series for good reason. It may take a while between each release but they are always worth it. This works well as a jumping on point if you haven’t played Fire Emblem before. All of the mechanics are explained well and the game starts you off slow before really ramping up the difficulty. The main thing is to just not let yourself get overwhelmed by all of the gameplay options. You have to take it one step at a time and then you’re all set.

Overall 9/10

Ghost Ship Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for an old horror film and I’m afraid this one was not any good. It can feel weird calling a 2002 film old but that’s just where we’re at by this point. Ghost Ship is one of those titles that relies on jump scares and a ton of over the top violence without much of a story to back it up. You’ll be shaking your head at the film right from the start and not even the rock music can save this one.

The movie starts with a bunch of characters enjoying a party aboard a giant boat when everyone is murdered after someone cuts one of the ropes aboard the ship. The only survivor is a little girl. Many years later we cut to a group of salvagers. They find old boats and put them back together for profit. A guy shows up and tells them about this giant boat he found, and it is the one from the opening scene. Sean and his crew decide to head out and find this boat because it will be an absolutely massive payday for them. Salvaging is a tough job since you are all by yourself out at sea but they are confident that they can handle this. Unfortunately, the boat may be more than it seems.

So you’ve got the general setup there and being all alone at sea with a ghost ship definitely has a solid setup as far as the atmosphere goes. There just aren’t many positive elements in the film to really set your hat on. The violence for example was crazy right from the opening scene. After that the characters all tend to go down in really painful ways and then we had an extended cut at the end about how everyone on the ship was gunned down. Right from the start you get to see that this film is going to be super intense in all of the wrong ways.

Occasionally you’d have a decent fake jump scare like when two members of the crew decide to scare Maureen for no reason. I mean it made those guys look pretty bad but I guess nothing really scared them. To be able to lock yourself in an empty room and seal yourself in a meat wrap just to scare someone is a crazy high level of bravery. Too bad it couldn’t have been used for something a little more productive right? Maureen had already gotten a number of real jump scares by this point so I guess the ghost was being really selective.

The film makes the bold choice of having a ghost leader as opposed to this just being a bunch of general spirits running around. I’d say that actually worked well though. I’ll give the film credit for having a real villain even if it felt like he was jobbing the entire time. This guy has telekinesis and a fairly strong amount of regeneration. Beyond that he mostly has human specs and ends up losing virtually every fight that he’s in. The guy has to rely on his tenacity to get the final victories in the end.

So things tend to go his way but he’s not going to be one of the more impressive villains that you see. I thought he was decent enough though and does end up being fairly memorable. He also allowed the film to have a quick fight scene at the end. On a logistic level I don’t see why he really needed the crew though. Seems to me that he would have had tons of options in order to secure his objective. The guy has super powers and regeneration, that leads to a whole lot of options. Then once he had the crew on board, he probably could have just strong armed them into helping instead of putting on an act where he couldn’t help but laugh at different times.

I’ll also say that the main crew were actually fairly smart here. In most of these films they all get extremely greedy and want to get every piece of money available. In this case once the main characters find the gold, they all decide to leave. They have enough money to live comfortably so why get greedy and take the ship too right? The reason their plan fails is due to circumstances outside of their control. They still outpace most main characters when it comes to decision making in a horror title. These salvagers are supposed to be professionals after all so that makes sense.

Now that doesn’t make them perfect by any means. One guy decides to cheat on his fiancé which leads to him falling for the most obvious trick possible. Generally the others at least had some good excuses as to how they were murdered but this guy had no such excuse. I would also blame the spirits for a lot of this. The film explains their plans in the movie and why they are picking on the main characters but there is one who wants to help. She goes about it in the most roundabout way possible though and talks very cryptically. We know that the main spirit will try silencing her so at that point it’s probably a good idea to just quickly blurt everything out.

I also thought the soundtrack was mainly good. The rock song during the boat massacre was a little weak as it felt like some kind of emo blend of rock but the more traditional rock songs sprinkles throughout the film were fairly solid. Unlike most horror titles I can at least say it had these things going for it. The film just can’t avoid the classic horror pitfalls at the same time. Even aside from the violence we also have the gross maggots scene. I think for some grossness can be interchanged with scariness which is why horror films tend to go for gross visuals as well but it doesn’t do the movie any favors.

As far as the final horror twist goes, I thought it was fairly effective. Horror films essentially have to have a twist ending. It’s the closest thing to a mandate that you will find in a movie. It may not have been enough to save the film but this one was at least trying. If it could just tone down the violence then the film would immediately be in a much better place.

Overall, Ghost Ship was not a good movie by any stretch of the imagination but it certainly took some better swings than most. The film at least had potential which is more than I can say for most. The characters were mostly smart throughout the movie and the soundtrack was good. I would still recommend watching something like Scooby Doo: Zombie Island over this one of course. In the end this is just a reminder on why you don’t want to sail into the middle of the ocean without telling anyone where you are going.

Overall 2/10

The Halloween Tree Review

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Now it’s time to look at a film that’s rather obscure. At the very least I hadn’t heard of this one before and I like to think that I’ve heard of all the big ones. It’s an interesting enough story about Halloween and getting the characters to think more about the meaning behind their costumes. It’s held back a little by the fact that the characters are fairly weak though. It’s a decently good movie but not one that you’ll want to be checking out except if you’re just looking for something new to watch.

The story starts with 4 kids getting ready to go trick or treating. They’re all close friends and this is one of the days they really look forward to. Unfortunately the 5th friend, Pip, doesn’t end up appearing. They head to his house just in time to see him being loaded into an ambulance with a note that he’ll try to meet them later. They don’t buy that because the situation looks serious but then a see-through version of Pip runs into a haunted house. The heroes chase after him and meet a mysterious guy named Moundshroud who is trying to go after Pip for some reason. This guy seems shady but is their only hope in chasing Pip through time. They form a reluctant team to find Pip, but what is really going on here?

Right away I have to say that I wasn’t expecting the team-up so that was an interesting twist. Moundshroud isn’t even pretending to be a good guy, he’s basically just an antagonist that they have to work with because he’s the only one who has the abilities needed to get to Pip. The kids never really think of a plan to take him out with though so they are forced to go with whatever he bargains with. The ending is actually a bit more dire than you may have expected. Yes, a year isn’t too crazy in the grand scheme of things but that was still more than what I would have estimated.

It’s hard to say how much of this was all a part of Moundshroud’s plan. Did he set everything up for the whole film or was he actually panicking to try and catch up to Pip? His abilities seemed rather vague but the guy seemed to have many methods to grab Pip if he really wanted to pull that off. Also Pip gets a lot of credit for being a quick study. Not only did he figure out how to time travel with his pumpkin but he was able to master using a witch’s broom with no instructions. The guy was known as the captain of the friend group and you can definitely see why that was the case. He always has the upper hand and just seems like a fun guy.

It’s too bad we didn’t get to see him as a human for very long though. Or at least as a member of the living I should say. My main issue with the film is that the other 4 kids just weren’t that interesting and I think Pip could have changed that. It’s not like this is an action movie so I wouldn’t be expecting a lot of awesome one liners but Pip would definitely have more confidence. The other 4 just weren’t ready for this adventure.

They’re little kids of course so I won’t be too harsh but you can tell that they were nervous the whole time. The girl was riding a bike the whole time and yet the other could catch her on foot. It shows how none of them had a whole lot of power and probably should have called in the grownups to help with Pip. For the most part the adults never really did much here though, this was really an adventure for the kids. I will give them some respect for going after Pip and surpassing their fears. They may have been scared, but they didn’t let that control them and that is absolutely important.

The animation is pretty good. I tend to enjoy this style so even though it is a bit older, it works well for me. This is far from being a big budget production or anything like that but it is really smooth which is what counts above everything else. The writing is also passable, it is trying to range from being educational to being entertaining. It hits the balance well enough, sort of reminds me of an after school special. It’s also not that long so it’s not like the film ever drags out.

In the film the characters essentially go throughout time to meet up with the people that inspired each costume. The Mummy for example was an easy one as the characters got to go to Egypt and see the burial process. The witch one also showed how apparently geniuses were known as witches. Yeah they had to take some liberties with that one. It’s a fun setup and gives time for each character to get some more screentime.

Tom easily gets the most screentime from the kids. He’s doing his best to fit in for Pip but was never the leader and just doesn’t have that natural confidence. He gets a good heart to heart talk with Pip though and is ultimately a decent character. None of them were bad characters really, they were doing their best to hang in there the whole time no matter how scary it all got.

I think this could have even worked as a fun TV show. You could have the characters basically learning the origins behind each monster design and tradition over the course of a season. Each episode they would get closer to saving Pip. There might be a little repetition there but the setup absolutely feels tailor made for a show.

Overall, This is one of those titles that is pretty harmless all around. I had no serious issues and it felt like the pacing was good. The movie just lacked a real hook to keep things interesting. It’s always a bit harder to review something like that. It never crosses the bar of absolutely being boring though which is why I give it a positive score. It is still a good movie through and through and it’s one that I would recommend to parents who want something fun for their kids. It may not have the same impact to you as a grown up but is still there if you want to watch a non-slasher film about Halloween.

Overall 6/10

Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors Review

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Time for an anthology! Usually these as an absolute recipe for disaster but I’m always ready for one to prove me wrong. In theory you just need to have a writer with a solid vision for different stories. Usually all of the focus is put on just one story and then the others all suffer as a result. That’s exactly what you really want to avoid here. This one ended up being a lot better than most of the others that I’ve seen. It still couldn’t help but fall into some issues along the way though. Due to the structure of the stories and everything, this review will have a lot of spoilers. I usually avoid them but when the stories are this short, it’s hard to talk about them otherwise. So you have been forewarned.

The movie starts off with 5 guys all riding in a train along with a suspicious older man. The old guy says that he can read the future with his tarot cards. The 5 men are rather bored right now so they decide to entertain this idea. Each story is a cautionary tale about what they will be running into soon. Will this knowledge help them escape absolute despair?

The first story features a guy going back to the house that he sold a long time ago. His family had owned the place for many generations and so he was called in to do an inspection. The current owner aims to do a little redecorating and this seems like an easy enough request. Unfortunately things quickly start to get a little spooky as the last burial ground of a werewolf is discovered. It won’t be easy to destroy a werewolf if he has been resurrected but what is a guy to do?

Now keeping in mind that the film has to get through 5 stories in a fairly short duration, the movie has really quick pacing. This Werewolf story has to quickly show off two suspects and then move through the story right away. Each segment is like a Twilight Zone episode where you can expect a twist at some point. This one was pretty solid overall. It builds up the atmosphere well and a Werewolf is something that everyone can understand right away. I’ll also be rating how survivable each encounter is based on if they go to the location or if they choose to bypass it.

After all, the point of these tarot cards is so that the men can avoid their fates right? Well, this is probably one of the easier ones to avoid. The guy can decide not to go to the house. Now given when we know from the twist, the Werewolf may go to him but his advanced knowledge should help a whole lot. I give him a 60% chance of surviving if he doesn’t go to the house, 20% if he ends up going.

The second story feels like something more out of a Japanese horror story. A guy is enjoying his new house with his wife and daughter. Unfortunately it turns out that the vines are alive and are slowly seeking to spread their influence. They even murder the pet dog which was terrible and something that the film could have really cut out if you ask me. Sometimes you just don’t need those extra details and they just serve to get in the way of the story. This was one of those cases. Without that element, this would have been the best story because it really makes you think. How do you deal with vines like this?

I would argue that it’s probably the happiest of the 5 stories though. It ends in a rather light way if you ask me. Yes, the vines are smart and can work on putting out the flames but it definitely won’t be easy for them. It’ll take effort and the humans can use that time. It’s also just a very creative threat. If the guy doesn’t go to the house with his family, I give him 100% odds on surviving. If he does go, I still give him 90% odds because he knows what the threat is.

Then we have the third story which is the first one where the main guy was asking for trouble. Everyone told him to leave the voodoo stuff alone but he couldn’t help it and throws himself into the situation. A really dumb move if you ask me and the guy basically just does his best to mock all of the traditions until he’s beat up. The ending of that one makes me think he was still alive but they’ll probably finish him at some point. As long as he goes there and doesn’t stir up trouble then he has 100% odds in both scenarios.

It’s just a bit harder to feel bad about this guy because he was actually given fair warning. He was really testing everyone’s patience that time. I don’t know why his story got off so easy compared to the others. I guess you can just chalk it down to getting lucky I suppose.

Then we have a story where the main guy is completely to blame and is an actual villain. You have a pretentious art critic who really enjoys going out of his way to make fun of another artist. The artist finally gets back at him and the critic decides to take revenge by running the guy over and severing his hand. Well, the severed hand has a mind of its own and is now trying to choke the critic out. It is sort of a play on the classic question of what would you do if a slug was following you across the world.

In this case a hand is more dangerous. It may be slow but once it has a grip on you, that could be game over. The hand cannot be destroyed and will eventually teleport into your proximity. Personally I would say that the best way to deal with it, is to keep it in a cage within your eyesight so you can notice when it starts to get close. It’s not fullproof though and of course this will be stressful all the way. If the critic chooses not to injure the artist, then he has 100% odds of surviving. If he does this but knows that the hand is after him, maybe he has 20% odds? I think the hand would eventually get anyone, you have to sleep at some point.

Finally we couldn’t end this without a vampire story. One guy is told that his wife is a vampire who is terrorizing the village. In particular she keeps going after a local kid. So the guy makes the tough choice to murder his wife but it turns out that the doctor was in on it and so the guy will spend the rest of his days locked up or executed in short order. This one feels like an easy one to survive for the main guy. For starters, he could ditch the wife early on, or live somewhere else and play dumb. It doesn’t seem like she was going to end up targeting him but I guess we don’t know that for sure. If he goes there, it’s tougher because the vampires don’t evaporate after dying so he will be on the hook for a crime either way. I give him 70% odds on the first and 50% on the second.

What I didn’t get is why the guy didn’t just talk to his wife. He went straight to deciding that she had to die but maybe they could have found some better way together. As his wife, the vampire deserved some time to talk things out. It just feels weird that you would completely side with the doctor over even giving your wife some kind of a chance. Not the strongest marriage bond here, that’s for sure.

Then we get back to the present to wrap things up. The ending is pretty effective and the movie really did a good job of keeping things moving at a solid speed. The best story was ultimately the Werewolf one and the worst was the Voodoo one. None of them were all that bad though and part of what helps with this are the special effects. The film clearly didn’t have much of a budget to work with and so there isn’t a lot of blood here. The deaths in the film tend to not be very gruesome either and even the dog who died wasn’t as gruesome as it would have been in just about any other film. For that reason it doesn’t hurt the film nearly as much as it would have otherwise.

Overall, This is one of those rare horror titles to actually get a positive score. It’s the kind of title that actually has a good amount of replay value and some good twists within it. Each story was crafted well and this is the kind of horror title that I look forward to. You don’t need all the gruesome details, just a good premise and some solid scares within. This one works as a good template all the way and proves that even anthologies can be good.

Overall 6/10

Toukiden: Kiwami Review

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Toukiden Kiwami is one of those games that goes all in on the whole monster smashing genre. You need to be prepared to fight hundreds of creatures before you make it to the end of the game as the campaign is quite sizable. It took me around 50 hours to finally complete this one and then there is a fairly lengthy post game afterwards. The devs certainly made sure that you got your money’s worth on this one.

The general premise is that monsters have taken over most of the world. Only a handful of safe zones remain for humans. They are guarded by the Slayers, warriors who can fight with enough power to repel these creatures. The main character is a prodigy who shows up out of nowhere with amnesia but quickly becomes one of the most dependable guys on the squad. He is determined to absolutely crush all of the monsters that get in his way but it won’t be easy. Additionally there appears to be some kind of super monster that is quickly approaching Earth.

The story itself is a bit like a mobile game. You get bits and pieces of the narrative after every few missions. You sometimes have to beat a few optional missions before you get to the next story one as well so that’s another thing to consider. You can upgrade your weapons and armor as you go through the game and the more chapters you complete, the more options you will have for customizing. The idea is that you are getting stronger as the monsters get stronger.

You need a lot of material for these weapons though so that’s where your pet comes in. You send him on missions to get resources while you complete the normal missions. Depending on how quickly you defeat the monster and how many parts you break, you will also be getting a whole lot of resources that way too. Money is not usually going to be a concern because you get a whole lot of it. The toughest part is really the RNG for getting materials as you can run into some bad luck at times. Just keep on completing the missions and eventually you’ll get what you need.

There are also your spirit allies. You will randomly recruit them as you complete missions and based on your weapon you can equip up to 3 of them. They can help a whole lot with their different stats. Naturally you know that I’m going to go with an attack build so I exclusively used those the whole time. Defense is good and all but nothing beats a good amount of raw attack power. Especially when you consider how long the missions can already be. You are given an hour to complete each mission but I wasn’t trying to come anywhere close to the maximum length for these stages.

For the story, it’s not super interesting unless you really end up liking the characters. There just isn’t enough momentum with how many breaks the game takes. The general premise is still solid enough as it’s essentially a human survival story but they could have done a little more with it. You’ll certainly know all of the characters pretty well by the end though. I’d say they were also able to accomplish a lot with what feels like a fairly limited budget.

You’re ultimately here for the gameplay after all and it is pretty fun. This is a 3D hack and slash title after all where you will be using your weapons to fight against the monsters. I chose a great sword for my playthrough but there are plenty of other weapons to use. You can switch weapons at any time and you certainly have enough money to buy them all. I ended up buying every weapon in the game that was available from the shop even though I didn’t use them. You are also able to build upgrade meter just from using the swords which is a really nice perk as opposed to having to use materials all the time.

There is a decent amount of stuff to do in the hub world. You can feed a tree for more materials and also go to the pool to build up your bonds with each character. Each of these are meant to help reduce the amount of repetition there is from the main combat. You want to make them be a part of your routine as well because they all give your character further boosts in strength and other stats. The boosts are fairly random but each do help out in the end.

Even with all of these things, you can expect some fights to take a long while. The bosses have a tendency to move around a whole lot and don’t let you recover your breath. You have 3 lives in each level although you will rarely need more than 1. The game isn’t really difficult, so much as it tests your tenacity. Will you keep fighting as hard when you see the boss’ health slowly moving? It’s all about continuing to persevere no matter what.

I’d also note that the computer’s AI is actually pretty good in this game. There are some titles where the side characters just watch or get knocked out but these guys contribute a whole lot. They were always ready to come in and heal me when needed and also did actual damage to the boss. These were some of the most helpful ally AI that I can think of. That made a real difference as well. There are 1-2 levels where you have to fight on your own and it really makes you miss them a whole lot.

The graphics may not have my favorite art style but it looks good enough. It reminds me of Dynasty Warriors to an extent but a bit more stiff. The combat within the game looks good. I would have liked more variety among the enemies but their designs are fierce and I enjoyed the attack animations. The soundtrack is also more on the forgettable side but there was one danger theme that I enjoyed. So in short, the technical elements are passable even if they aren’t super impressive.

Overall, I would definitely recommend this game. You may want to take some breaks if the repetition gets to you but the game’s sheer length is just really impressive. Even many RPGs don’t get all the way up to 50 hours. You will be playing this one for a long time and grinding is essentially mandatory if you want your gear to be ready for each new challenge. There is a lot of customizing so everyone’s journey will be a little different. You’ll get to really see what kind of weapon suits your playstyle. We’ll see if the sequel can keep up with this one.

Overall 7/10

The Lodger Review

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The Lodger is one of those films that tests each character’s ability to read the room. If there is a mass murderer on the loose and someone started acting really shady, would you be ready to make an accusation or keep waiting for more evidence? The way the film plays out, there is only one suspect throughout the movie so you have to decide if this guy is guilty or if it’s a massive red herring. There are a few ways it could play out even with how obvious it seems and in a way this helped the movie stay interesting.

The film starts off by explaining that there is a mysterious mass murderer on the loose. This guy has been exclusively targeting women in dark alleys when they are away from any other bystanders. Unfortunately the city has a lot of fog and nobody assumes that they will be the next victim so people keep going into dark alleys. The main character here is a lady named Kitty who has built a successful career for herself through dancing. One day her house gets a new tenant by the name of Slade. Slade is often going from house to house as his landowners tend to get tired of him for some reason.

The guy runs rather dangerous experiments all the time so actually I think we’ve stumbled on the reason for why he has to vacate so quickly. He is constantly starting fires and burning things. Slade also isn’t very sociable so it is easy for rumors to start about him. For example the mass murderer is said to have a small leather book and Slade has one too. Slade quickly burns it afterwards but that’s an odd coincidence. Then he shows up with blood stains one day but burns those too. Hmmmmm.

As the film goes on, Kitty believes that Slade may actually be the mass murderer but she goes back and forth on this a lot. For the most part you could say that she is hoping that Slade isn’t the culprit. She thinks he’s nice enough and is probably just an eccentric. The maid is the one who has to keep pointing out how many of these coincidences are adding up but is dismissed each time by Robert. Robert always has an answer for everything even if the answers don’t make a lot of sense.

Slade is set up to be the murderer with so many obvious moments that you have to wonder if this is all setting up a massive fakeout. Either way you’re rooting for the cop to figure it all out. John is doing his best to stay on the case and put an end to the murders but it’s definitely not easy. There are just so many places to hide in an area like this and the weather doesn’t help.

John was smart enough to not give away his theory in public though. I was glad that he dodged the question when the main characters were all quizzing him because that would have been a real bad idea. You don’t get to be a big shot detective if you’re known for spilling the beans on everything after all.

As for the main villain, well the film definitely shows him to be as petty as possible. He has a long speech basically trying to say that the women are asking for it and he’s one of those really lonely, jealous guys. The whole thing makes him look absolutely puny and of course that’s the point. He’s only brave enough to attack when it’s one on one in the cover at night and the detective notices that he only strikes from behind. He needs the element of surprise in addition to everything else. This is not the kind of villain where you will have any sympathy for him. You’re just rooting for him to be knocked out the whole time.

The writing is solid though and this makes for a good old school thriller. It’s one of those very basic thrillers like the Raven film that I recently reviewed. There aren’t a lot of twists and turns to be had here. The film isn’t trying to break any records or do anything crazy either. It’s just giving you a suspenseful adventure where you wait to see if the heroes will put the pieces together before dying to this guy. Usually the main heroine may make it but how high will the body count get in the meantime?

This film also has one of those very sudden endings that you tend to see from old films like this one. There isn’t much of an epilogue or any sequel bait for this one. This is a stand alone adventure with a classic beginning, middle, and ending. It works well enough but if I had any nitpicks, it would be that I’d have liked to see more of the police investigation. Lets see a bit more about what John is doing in the background. Maybe have him start to close in on the case before the very end with the footprints.

I’d also have someone challenge Robert a bit more since that guy is the whole reason why this case was so close. If someone had forced him to admit to the possibility of Slade being the killer, then that would have been a pretty decent subplot. At least it would give Robert more of a role in the film because as it stands he didn’t get to do much of anything. He mostly only existed to be a thorn in the side of the maid and to make Kitty second guess herself. None of them had much in the way of survival instincts but at least they had some kind of instincts. Robert had none of that.

Overall, The Lodger is an interesting film. If you were not big on letting a stranger stay at your place, watching a film like this certainly wouldn’t help you get over that fear. Personally I’ve never been big on having roommates in general. Even aside from the danger, I just like having everything set up my way with as much freedom as possible. Having someone else staying over will always change that dynamic. Of course these characters should have done something once there was smoke going through the house but they took a very cautious approach all the way.

Overall 7/10

The Raven (1935) Review

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It’s time for another film titled The Raven. This one isn’t actually based on the Poe story though and focuses more on a character who is a fan of it. It’s an interesting approach and the film ended up being pretty good so I guess this direction was a good idea. The characters tend to make a lot of dumb mistakes but the writing on the whole is still good so I didn’t really have any big issues with this one. It should keep you pretty engaged the whole time.

The movie starts with a lady named Jean being badly injured in an accident and all the best doctors in the world are unable to heal her. Their only chance is Dr. Richard who retired a long time ago. He is a bit eccentric and downright sinister but Jean must be healed and so Judge makes a strong appeal to him. He’s able to play on Richard’s big ego and so Richard agrees. He heals Jean with ease but in the process falls in love with her. Richard wants to steal her away from the fiancé, Jerry at any costs. So he grabs a convict named Edmond and intentionally messed up his face in a surgery. Now the guy will be forever indebted to Richard and will work as his personal executioner. Can Jerry find a way to stop this guy?

That said, Jerry is pretty oblivious the entire time. He has no idea what is going on and is one of those guys who is a little too confident. Jean tells Jerry that she believes Richard has fallen for her and Jerry just laughs it off. He feels like any reasonable guy should fall for her and he doesn’t feel threatened in the slightest. His confidence is so high that he even agrees to stay the night at Richard’s place along with Jean and Judge. He better hope that Richard isn’t a crazy antagonist.

It’s a very old school attitude, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t even mind Jerry’s overconfidence if he would at least take precautions. The #1 precaution in this situation is certainly going to be declining any invitations to the guy’s home. At the very least you should really be building some serious distance there instead of making this so easy for the villain. Jerry is also knocked out rather easily when it comes time to defend his girlfriend.

As for Jean, well I have to give her some blame here too. Her instincts aren’t completely dead as she recognizes Richard’s obsession with her but then maybe she should be putting some more distance? She is borderline flirting with him the entire time, letting him get really close without saying anything. He basically says that he gave Jerry a job in exchange for losing her and Jean barely reacts. She still wants him to come watch the play and everything. Just not a whole lot of smart decisions going on here at all.

The only one who knew the danger from the start was the Judge. He really tries to get Jean and Jerry to leave the mansion but they just don’t take him seriously. Also they are adults so it’s not like he can just force them to leave. That’s probably the worst part of this whole affair. Ultimately he is no match for Edmond and goes down quickly. Part of me likes to think that he should have just left on his own but that’s not the heroic thing to do here.

As for Richard, well I don’t usually enjoy villains who just have romance on the mind. Jean is his entire goal in this whole affair and that doesn’t make for a very compelling villain. Richard just needed to accept the fact that she was never going to pick him in the end. He most likely would have just ended up murdering her once this sunk in. The guy should have been content to know that he saved someone when the rest of the medical community could not and called it a day there. He would have been a reasonable character at that point.

Finally we have Edmond who is really not that smart. Well I’ve been saying that for quite a few characters but he might take the cake. The guy knows that Richard can’t be trusted which is why he had a gun but still trusts the guy to do an invasive facial surgery? There’s nothing Edmond can do when he’s unconscious and you probably shouldn’t trust someone with a knife unless you are completely sure of their character. The whole thing was just such a bad look for him and his character route goes in a very predictable manner. At least he did make Richard sweat it out when he thought about finishing the guy off on one of the torture machines.

Now you may be thinking that this weak character roster would destroy the film but they were dumb in a fun way. The writing is still very sophisticated throughout. The dialogue is crisp all the way and the pacing is good. This feels like a very fun atmospheric horror film that gets the tension just right. It’s a horror style that you don’t see quite as much nowadays and I definitely miss it. I could watch these old horror titles all the time. They’re just really charming all the way with everyone being a little over the top.

Overall, this film may not be all that scary when you watch it nowadays but you can still feel the intent all the way. There was a lot of care put into the film and I had fun with it. The story is fairly straightforward so it all comes down to the execution and I didn’t think that the film had any big missteps there. What you see is what you get in a lot of ways as there aren’t really any twists and turns in the film. It showed that the writer had a lot of confidence in the story and as a result this one beats the average horror title. I’d definitely recommend checking it out.

Overall 7/10

Monster Hunter: Legends of the Guild Review

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Monster Hunter is one of those titles where the appeal is really obvious. The world takes place in a land where monsters roam the Earth and every adventure is going to be guaranteed to have some good tension. The film tries to walk you through one of those missions but doesn’t really match any of that intensity from the jump. It’s not like you absolutely had to make this ultra action packed or anything like that but you can’t help but feel a bit disappointed by the end of it. It’s a good film that leaves a lot of missed opportunities around the board.

The film starts off with some cocky hunters talking about how easy it will be to take down an elder dragon. A jaded skeptic tells them that it won’t be so easy as he recalls a time where he had to take one out as a rookie. The rest of the movie is this flashback so sadly we don’t get to see the big fight in the present. At first I thought it was going to go back to the present around the halfway point but that just wasn’t in the cards this time.

Aiden grew up as a kid who really wanted to be a monster hunter. He was in a fairly small village though so they didn’t have the resources or tools for something like that. Aiden did his best though and actually gained the trust of his fellow villagers but runs into a master hunter named Julius. Julius explains that the elder dragon Lunastra is approaching and will destroy everything in its path. The whole village needs to evacuate. The villagers don’t listen though and Aiden convinces Julius to stay and fight along with a few other hunters. Will they regret this?

Now I get wanting to fight a dragon because these are monster hunters. That said, it’s a bit odd for Julius to be convinced so easily. He would know best if this is a monster that can actually be defeated. Based on his initial reaction, this wouldn’t even be close to a full fight. So I feel like no amount of emotional pleas would sway him. Additionally, his mission is to warn all of the villages of the impending attack so by staying here to fight, those villages won’t have any advanced warning if he fails. There are a ton of risks at play here.

Logically you would expect a monster hunter to be able to take on just about any monster but if even a master can’t, I don’t think Aiden would really be making much of a dent here. We do have some brief backstory hunts for Julius which also helps him sympathize with the kid though. Ultimately Julius is a pretty solid character. He has experience and has been fighting for a long time so the guy clearly knows what he is doing.

The other hunters who show up are pretty solid as well. Nadia has worked with Julius in the past and so the two have a lot of banter going on throughout the film. I’m always up for some quality banter so that was pretty fun. She also helps to calm Julius down when the guy is getting a little too agitated. Then we have Mae who is a solid hunter as well.

She is more interested in the research parts of being a hunter. She has a whole logbook and everything while still getting the job done. It’s clear that she is less experienced than Nadia though and still had a lot of hunting ahead of her. Her fighting style is fairly nimble so it’s hard for monsters to land a hit on her. Finally there is Ravi who is more of a builder but knows how to fight in a pinch. The guy really wanted no part of this fight but is essentially guilt tripped into it. This certainly isn’t the most imposing group of monster hunters to have been assembled but they will have to be enough to win.

As for Aiden, I have to deduct points from the guy for some of his mistakes. Look, the kid’s a rookie so I’m expecting some errors here and there. That said, it’s the kinds of errors that he makes which are a problem. There’s one scene where he doesn’t nail down the net because he just didn’t know that it was necessary. As a guy who professes to being a major hunter fan, that didn’t make a whole lot of sense. You can make some mistakes, but that’s not one of them.

He knows that the village is at risk so he should be carefully listening to all orders. It felt like his character wasn’t always consistent and that made him more annoying than he needed to be. In general the cast wasn’t all that bad but it does help to have a strong lead. Relying on supporting characters doesn’t work as well.

It also means that the film can’t jump into the big action scenes right away because we have a rookie to deal with. I think the power levels in this verse tend to be lower so the humans often have to use traps and such but I’d prefer a good ole fashioned fight.

In terms of the graphics, they’re only okay. This animation style isn’t the kind that ages super well unless you put a lot of money into it. The fights are okay when they happen but there is never a lot of fast movement here. As for the soundtrack, it’s more on the generic side. Nothing that will really catch your eye. The film also squeezes in some crude humor for some random reason. Nothing about this is a top shelf product.

At the same time, it’s still easy to follow the story and it’s fun enough. I do like the general world that the story is taking place in and I also appreciated that the villagers were at least a little reasonable. In other stories they might just start yelling and throwing a fuss. Instead they agreed to evacuate if Aiden gave the order and I was glad that they’d at least listen to one of their own.

Overall, This is a very forgettable film. It doesn’t really take advantage of what makes the series so interesting in the first place. There should have been more monster battles, flashier visuals, etc. That’s what you’re looking for in a title like this. As it stands, this will hold your attention but it’s really not going to do much more than that. Show this to someone who wants a quick film to watch while eating lunch but otherwise get them into the main games instead.

Overall 6/10

The Blob (1988) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a fairly iconic horror film. I think it’s reasonable to say that just about everyone has at least heard of the Blob even if they haven’t seen the film yet. I saw the original version a while back and it definitely clobbers this remake. The remake just doesn’t manage to match it in any individual area. It is having a little too much fun with the gruesome visual effects instead of letting the threat of the Blob speak for itself.

The movie starts with a meteor striking the planet. An old man finds a slime within it and is quickly taken over. Paul and his girlfriend Meg find the old guy and take him to a hospital but it’s too late. The blob melts straight through him and rapidly begins to expand. Meg goes to the local delinquent Brian for help. Brian doesn’t want anything to do with this. All his life he has been an outcast in the system and strikes back at everyone. Perhaps now he can finally do something heroic with his life though. He thinks long and hard about this before deciding to help out, but what can he do?

What makes the Blob dangerous is how it seems to absorb whatever you throw at it. It just keeps on growing and can also make some really fast movements in an instant. One second you think that you are safe and the next you are trapped within the cocoon. The Blob relies purely on instinct so while it is not a strategic mastermind, it’s still difficult to escape it. It makes for a fun villain even if it won’t stand out as much as other horror characters.

Like I said at the start though, the film spends too much time showing the slow melting effects of everyone who gets in its way. I would have preferred a much more delicate touch there. Just being absorbed is already scary enough so you don’t need to see the skin melting off or anything like that. This film isn’t generally a super violent one but those blob scenes can really hit you hard.

The humans aren’t super likable here but I suppose they could be worse. Paul seemed like a nice guy and unfortunately he just didn’t know enough about the Blob to last longer. Likewise Meg is also doing her best to do the right thing and try to spread the word about the creature. Brian has a rough start but ultimately does his best to help the town when it counts. It’s a good message about how everyone will unite to fight a common threat. He certainly helps more than the rest of the town who are mainly panicking.

As soon as the threat was over then you had people quickly taking charge again and talking confidently when they had been hiding just a minute ago. Sounds about right if you ask me. The biggest threat here in some respects were the government agents who show up. They are really just here to consider how the Blob could be used as a weapon and in a way it’s almost funny how nonchalant they are about this. They are quick to betray their own and escalate the situation.

I always appreciate having a third faction so I was glad to have them here. Honestly it’s not like I was fully expecting them to be helping out or anything like that. They were shady from the start and the local cop gets some props for being quick on the uptake about fighting them.

In general the characters were all pretty proactive. The sheriff did his best to try and find out what was happening and Brian using the cannon against the agents was another good move. If I have any nitpicks here, it’s that the government was a little too unprepared against the Blob. I know that he’s an anomaly that is fairly unknown to everyone but maybe don’t stand super close to it? As a trained agent I’d expect each member to be keeping a safe distance at all times.

The film actually has a big of a cliffhanger ending which was nice to see. It may not be the most explosive one out there but I thought it was interesting. In theory it’s not too scary at this point since the characters know how to fight the Blob but there is still a lot of potential there. With the right mutation, the Blob could be really scary once more.

In a way I guess a weakness to the film would be that it focused a bit too much on Meg and Brian. I’d have liked to see a bit more of the town’s struggle against the Blob. Due to the way the story turned out there wouldn’t have been too many opportunities for this but even just a few would go a long way. In the sewers there just weren’t as many opportunities to present this as more of an invasion film.

Also the scenario was a bit too tough on Meg so some plot armor had to show up. At one point she jumps in the water to try and save the kid but it was too late so she has to just swim away. It doesn’t make sense that the Blob wouldn’t have absorbed her there. Before now he was shown to absorb people in an instant with tremendous speed but somehow lost sight of her in the water. In a thriller there will always be some scenes to nitpick but this was a fairly big one since it was a very plot important scene. They could have made the Blob weak to water or something but the film established the opposite.

Overall, This isn’t exactly a film that I would watch for a second time but it wasn’t as bad as you would expect a horror remake to be. It did succeed in being a fairly intense film and one that can really be called scary. I’d have liked them to have dialed back the gruesome visuals to an extent though. There are so many ways to have characters being absorbed without being very violent about it. The characters weren’t so bad outside of oneshot characters and the movie avoided landing in any of the really big traps. It beats the average horror film which is a small consolation prize at the very least. If they ever make another Blob film, I’d like them to focus more on the town’s response as opposed to just a few characters. Maybe even have it from the government’s point of view because the secret task force that showed up was really interesting. They could have used more screentime.

Overall 4/10

Cujo Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a very infamous horror film. Cujo is one of those movies that just about everyone has heard of, but does anyone really like it? The film’s general premise was enough for me to know that this would be a stinker but it was still time to finally check it out. Unfortunately the film is not able to surpass its limits and ends up being exactly what you would have expected out of it. Unlikable characters, excessive violence, and a generally cold atmosphere? Yeah this is a Stephen King adaption all the way.

The movie starts by introducing us to the characters. Vic and Donna lead a fairly quiet life with their young son Tad. Unfortunately Donna has grown bored over the years and has been cheating on her husband with the local bum. Then the local mechanic is an abusive guy named Joe who makes his wife’s life as unbearable as possible. He owns a dog named Cujo who is bitten by a bat with rabies. Now Cujo is morphing into a monster who wants to murder everyone. Unfortunately Donna and her son are stuck in a car with nowhere to go, so surviving this won’t be easy.

Lets get the obvious issues out of the way first. That would start with the animal violence Cujo gets bit early on and as the film goes on he is covered in more and more blood and other special effects. The film is trying to make him look as gruesome as possible so that you try to avoid eye contact. He is also mauling people to death so you can throw in a lot more violence there as well. The humans inevitably have to fight Cujo so he takes on more injuries that way as well. There’s no real saving that kind of violence and so this was already a doomed feature.

Then you have the whole cheating plot which doesn’t add anything to the film. I guess the intent might to be to try and make Donna less sympathetic so that you can root for the dog but that’s a real mixed message if I’ve ever seen one. Another theory might just be to show the jaded approach that everyone has some kind of darkness within them but that’s high school level edginess. Either way it’s a terrible plot and makes Donna look terrible. There’s just no way to be ready to forgive her so easily no matter how much crying goes on after that. She threw away the whole family for a few minutes of fun.

There’s nothing really wrong with the kid. Tad is too young to understand anything that’s going on and mainly just gets in the way during the climax. There’s nothing he could have done to contribute though so I’m generally giving him a pass here. At least he wasn’t going out of his way to be annoying. As for Vic, well he’s having a rather terrible time all around. The only thing left to him is his job and things aren’t going well there either.

Ultimately Vic decides to try and make things work and that’s a bit hard to swallow but I suppose it’s his decision in the end. He’s easily the most sympathetic character here. Then you have Joe who is really just here as another example of an absolute waste of space. There are way too many terrible characters in this film. More victims for Cujo I suppose but it does make all of the human scenes pretty unbearable. The writing is obnoxious throughout and even for a slasher you want to have some likable characters at the ready. It takes a while for Cujo to start on the rampage after all so you’re stuck with these guys in the meantime. It’s not like the massacre helps the film by any means but it shows that you are stuck between two really rough sides of the movie as a viewer. On one hand you have the terrible human stuff and then you have the over the top violence with Cujo. Game over either way.

It is an interesting premise to have the characters stuck in a car with no motor with Cujo right outside. It’s definitely a scary situation with no easy way out. I do think your best bet is to make a run for it while Cujo is distracted by the phone but Tad is a liability there as well. He can’t run very fast and is also suffering from heatstroke. So Donna would have to carry him while running fast enough to then lock the door.

It’s also probably tempting to wait in the car and hope that someone will arrive in time. So that’s the one thing I’ll give the film some slight credit for. It still loses most of that credit by not having a second adult in the car so the two could plan things out. Since Tad isn’t ready to talk about this, it means we have a lot of quiet scenes rather than cool planning sessions.

As for the execution, there’s definitely some plot armor here. I don’t see Donna being able to fight the dog off once he had the upper hand. Would have made more sense if she landed the first shot but once a dog is already biting you, I feel like the odds of victory are incredibly slim. Especially since Cujo was amped up with the virus.

Overall, This is the kind of film that only has a chance if you don’t mind the animal violence. It’s automatically knocked out otherwise and that’s before going into the human characters. The ultimate objective of a film is to be entertaining after all and this one was not able to pull that off. If you really want to watch a film starring a dog, then I’d say to check out Air Bud instead. That one’s a solid feel good film all the way after all. Maybe the Cujo remake will beat this one but honestly I don’t see it faring much better unless it takes significant liberties from the book.

Overall 0/10