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Persona 3 The Movie: No. 1, Spring of Birth Review

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It’s time to delve back into the world of Persona! I really didn’t know much about Persona 3 except for the song “It’s Going Down Now” which is absolutely generational. Unfortunately that song isn’t in this film but it still has a lot of fun tunes throughout. The movie is really fast paced so you have to keep up with it but this makes for a good watch from start to finish. It also ends off in a way where you know that the adventure is just starting.

The story starts off by introducing us to Makoto who is one of the most emotionless characters you’ll ever see. He’s walking through town when people start turning into coffins. He doesn’t have time to care about that though as he’s on the way to his dorm. When he gets there, a girl points a gun at him and Makoto just shakes his head as he gets to his room. Unfortunately giant monsters are trying to tear the place down so the ladies ask him to help out. This involves shooting himself with a gun that allows him to summon demonic entities known as Persona to help him fight. Makoto is now on a team known as SEES which fights back against these demons. Makoto will help out…because why not?

Now obviously there is a reason for his lack of emotion and the film gives us a few quick flashbacks to his past. Nothing substantive yet though, we’ll likely be getting that in the sequels. This one is really about having Makoto slowly open up to the characters around him. A part of me is going to miss how emotionless he was though. The fact that he was taking everything in stride was just really funny and I wish more characters were like that. There is a time for panicking after all but most characters abuse it.

I also like to think that the lack of emotion is part of why he is so strong. The other characters tend to get knocked around real quickly and don’t re-summon their monsters too quickly. Makoto just spam summons the Personas over and over again. This drains your soul/willpower so it’s risky but he wasn’t worried about that. Without Makoto the rest of the characters could have been crushed more than once. Which….is a knock against the others.

I’m no stranger to the concept of “The Chosen One” but it’s a bit of a stretch on just how weak the others are. It’s hard to see how they have survived at all without Makoto. They are unable to beat even a single boss without him. It seems like they never had to deal with bosses before Makoto showed up with how surprised they were though. So maybe in a way this loops around to all being Makoto’s fault. This may just be a pacing issue and with more time they could have shown off the other fighters a bit more.

The most unintentionally funny one is when the final member (for now) joins the group. Fuuko is a really shy girl who got picked on a lot and by the end of the film finally gets to fight. The problem is that she loses her first fight and seemingly her Persona’s only ability is to make a barrier which can delay the inevitable. Usually you’d expect the new character to do well in a TV show but I guess those rules don’t apply to a movie. So Makoto still had to save her even if she did help out in a support role.

I also want to see Fuuko standing up for herself more. In this case the bully saw the light and stopped picking on her but we haven’t gotten to see Fuuko confront anyone yet. It’s good that she is a really nice person but it definitely should not come at the expense of defending herself. You always have to continue to fight back and hold some kind of boundaries. Takeba is another character who is rather timid but in a very different way. She is tough around other characters but it’s more of a mask that drops when she is up against the monsters.

Takeba tends to annoy me more than Fuuko because she should be a pro by now. I do get how it would be hard to shoot yourself even if you know that it’s not a real gun though. The others are probably a bit weirder for accepting it so easily. At least Takeba is past all of that now so she should be looking better and better as the films go on. Panicking and nearly shooting Makoto was just not a good look for her.

Kirijo is one of the more disappointing ones when it comes to combat. It’s a bit of a clash in expectations because when she’s first introduced you get the feeling that this character is a bigshot. It turns out that she is another support type fighter so you don’t really see her on the frontlines. I think that was a mistake, we don’t need more support fighters. So she doesn’t really fight at all and loses off screen to her first big opponent. Just not a great showing at all. Yes at this point Makoto is really carrying the team. The others are still fun characters but in a fight they aren’t pulling their weight.

Junpei is at least another fighter on the group although he doesn’t have a ton of experience yet. In fact he is brand new to the game and immediately gets jealous of Makoto for outshining him in all areas. I was worried this would be a big plotline but it seems like the guy has calmed down for now. The stakes are too high for any infighting right now. Junpei’s the classic overconfident kind of guy so until he is able to back up the tough talk, he will be in hot water.

Akihiko is the final main member of the strike force. At least he actually seems to be powerful. The opponent was just a really bad matchup for him with how he could become immune to the elements. Without that then this would have been a very different fight. The electricity looked really sharp and he was also able to re-summon his Persona a lot. Hopefully he’ll continue to be on the front lines for future fights.

The animation is pretty sharp all the way through. I like the way they would do the colors for the characters’ hair and the fights were solid. I wouldn’t call this a high-end production or anything like that but it flows well. The songs are also really good like I mentioned before. They may not have brought out the A tier songs yet but you know that they are around. This film had a lot to cover with the character intros and nonstop action so the next one will hopefully be able to match that. In theory we need the nonstop fighting to continue in order to see more fun battle tracks.

That said, it’ll be hard for the sequel to capture the same intrigue and mystery that this one had. The film hasn’t really been addressing any questions yet so Makoto is just as lost as anyone else. Of course he’s not the kind of guy to ask about the details anyway. All you need to know is that monsters come out during an extra hour of the day that only specific people can see. It’s an interesting premise and that’s really all you need some times. With that I’ve got a good basis for the fights and there are always the classic mystery characters who appear in visions and meanwhiles. The film even had some post credit scenes which was cool.

Overall, I would definitely recommend this film. Whether you are familiar with Persona or not, it makes for a good action title. There is a lot of suspense here and the writing is good. The film’s also not very long so it really breezes right by you. It may not feel like a complete adventure but that’s normal for a part 1. It just means that you have to stick around so this will be an investment. You’ll be able to truly see just how solid it is once you have finished all of the films.

Overall 7/10

Drop Review

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Now this was a tricky film for me to think about. I wasn’t even fully decided on how much I liked it when the movie ended. On one hand, it does handle the thriller aspects pretty well with a lot of suspense and everything. On the other hand the film’s entire plot revolves around everyone being slow on the uptake. It’s even worse when one guy is clearly tech savvy and then you have the fact that the film can be extremely cringe. It’s intentional….but cringe is cringe after all. So lets unpack this one.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Violet who had a traumatic experience with her ex-husband. Violet was able to piece her life back together after those events and is now a therapist who helps others with their problems. She has done her best to be the best single mom possible for her kid and now she is ready to get back out there and rebound with a new person. Violet simply doesn’t want to be single forever and she will be meeting up for the first time with someone that she met on an app. His name is Henry and they will be meeting as a super expensive, fancy restaurant for the first meetup. She gets there early and everything seems fine….until she starts getting some dangerous messages through wireless drops. This mysterious individual claims to have her son hostage and she must now follow all of his orders. How can she gets out of this situation?

Okay so lets address the elephant in the room. Violet should have immediately tuned the feature off. It’s not like air dropping is something that goes through no matter what. Just turn it off immediately! It takes a while before the messages mention that he has her kid so the whole film would have had to play out very differently. The film also goes out of its way to show that Henry knows how the air drops work. He explains it to Violet and even has apps on his phone that measure distance and everything. So he should have just told her how to turn it off. It’s a bit hard to get past this point since it is the crucial sticking point for the entire film. You’ll just be shaking your head the whole time. It’s not the kind of thing that would really hurt the film’s score for me but is a bit of a strike against the writing.

Well once we get past that, it does make for a decent mystery gimmick as Violet needs to find out who is sending the messages. That might sound pointless since it doesn’t change the hostage situation but I guess you could say it’s so that she can find some blindspots to contact the police. Unfortunately the villain has hacked all of the cameras so he can basically see her from everywhere. I will say that even here the film stretches some disbelief. Not so much in the hacking as we’ll say that the villain is just that powerful but that nobody talked about how he was constantly texting. There is a plot reason why this feels pretty unlikely and you would have heard something.

Thrillers tend to have a lot of disbelief attached to them but this one just felt particularly egregious. Now you have to remember that this is all happening during Violet’s first date. So that’s where the second hand cringe comes in as she keeps looking away to scan the perimeter, is super distracted, etc. Henry comes across as ultra patient with how long he hangs in there because I think most people would have given up early on. It would just be too much after a bit and nobody wants to be second fiddle in their own date. The person giving her the orders intentionally does it in a way to make her look as bad as possible.

She is still able to keep Henry interested with various tricks but that shouldn’t have been enough. Now, we do get some info on Henry about how good he is with tech and his background involves the government so he should be able to notice that something is wrong. I was actually expecting it the whole time but instead he seems to take it at face value that Violet is just kinda crazy. Surely the whole air drops thing should have been a good tipoff. Henry seems like a nice guy so I’m not going to go too hard on him but I just expected more there.

The film gives us a more explosive climax than I was expecting. It’s always nice to get some action in there even if it feels like the deck was too stacked in the villain’s favor. There was no realistic way for him to lose. Special props to Violet’s sister for hanging in there and doing her best as a babysitter. Nobody expects to have to fight for your life in that job but she pulled through and did what was needed. While the last scene in the film is for laughs and shouldn’t be taken too seriously….I did think that she deserved a bit more recognition. The joke just didn’t land tbh since Violet should be thanking her a whole lot. You’ll understand the context when you watch the film.

I really enjoyed the backgrounds and locale for the film. The restaurant looked really nice even if the food/drinks would probably not be so great. The annoying waiter would also hurt the experience there. That was one area where the film was trying way too hard to be funny. I think the humor there was the fact that he wasn’t funny so it was like a 4 layered joke but it just didn’t work. After a point it just loops around to not being funny again. At least the date being awkward makes sense in context but the waiter did not need to be here at all.

Also this may be a bit harsh but I didn’t think the backstory for Violet was necessary or even that it made a lot of sense. The villain uses it against her later on by saying that she has murdered people before and all that but when we see the context it is the biggest stretch ever. I know survivor bias is a real concept but usually that’s not mixed in with self defense. In a case like this I don’t see why Violet would have any real fears or trauma. Or more specifically, I can see it being a trauma in terms of not wanting to be near guns or being afraid to start dating again but not in any relation to taking a life. I would have rewritten it a bit to make her actually shoot the gun in which case I think it would have been a much stronger parallel. It would also establish that she is willing to take a life in order to protect her son and so to the viewer, maybe she would take more and more lives to continue keeping him safe. It’s still different since that was self defense and not murder but the way the film used this plot was a bit odd.

So in the end what are we looking at here? Is this still a good film or do all of these factors add up to make it a bad one? I was pretty indecisive throughout it all but by the end the answer became clear. This one is a good movie and so it makes it into the green. It’s not a film that I would likely rewatch on my own but I wouldn’t be opposed to it if someone else picked the movie. I also wouldn’t caution people away from watching it and may even recommend it to a fan of thrillers. I’d say the premise is better than the execution but it still got enough things right.

I also liked how the final boss started monologuing before going out. For a minute there I didn’t think we were going to have enough time for the ole speech. Even then we got another awkward conversation as Violet started trauma dumping and the villain clearly couldn’t care less but didn’t seem to know what to do in the moment except to keep eating his dessert.

Overall, Drop is a pretty memorable film and I think that is a strong point. I don’t regret seeing it or anything like that. Thrillers like this can be fun to think about what you would do in this situation. Once the orders begin coming in, it is really hard to get the upper hand again. You know that the villain isn’t bluffing after all but if you keep helping out there is still no guarantee that he will keep his word. For that reason I always think the best thing to do is to ignore the orders but obviously that is much easier said than done.

Overall 6/10

The Marvels Review

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The Marvels is one of those films that faded away pretty quickly but I did always enjoy the concept of what it was going for. It was a crossover for the main character of the movie Captain Marvel with the main character of the show Ms. Marvel along with one of the supporting characters of Wandavision. You can only really pull off that many crossovers when you’ve already got an expanded cast. That said, the power levels are very different among the 3 and for once that would be a bit of an issue. You would need to set up a threat weak enough for Monica and Kamala to fight which would mean nerfing Carol a bunch. And….that’s exactly what happened but on the whole I would say this was still a pretty good movie.

The title starts off quickly with the Kree getting their hands on the cosmic band. They are now led by Dar who seeks revenge on Carol for essentially causing a war which ruined her people. Her solution is to wipe everyone out to really stick it to Carol rather than prioritizing a fix for her people. Usually this would be an easy threat for Carol to stop considering how she was easily overwhelming Thanos. Unfortunately her powers have begun to go out of control so every time she uses them, she switches places with Kamala or Monica. Not a great way to stay focused during a fight.

The power swapping leads to some cool teamwork combos and is also a funny gag. So it was used for some positive things throughout the movie but I do have to be honest about how annoying it could be as well. I really wanted to see Carol just crushing her opponents instead of constantly being thrown out of the fight. She could have ended this movie in seconds otherwise. Honestly even with this gimmick she should have done better in the fights. In particular during the climax when she is fighting against Dar. Suddenly she just wasn’t looking as strong as normal and this continues until the very ending when she gets to ram Dar into deep space. It’s clear that working with a character this powerful was not easy for the film.

Carol has come a long way since her trainee days and it’s nice to see her taking charge throughout the movie. Kamala and Monica are new to the whole saving the world thing and so Carol is the one who really has to take charge and lead them. I’ say she did a good job of it too. Then we have Monica whose grudge with Carol feels a bit petty. Grudge may be the wrong word for it since part of the awkwardness is just Monica not really knowing how to talk to her. Still, the stakes are a bit too high for all of that right now.

I also think she should have been training with her powers a whole lot prior to the film’s events. She seemed to still be getting used to her abilities but enough time has passed from Wandavision where she should have a handle on them. Same for Kamala. During the opening fights she seems to be having a hard time and then by the end she is using the constructs like a pro. Part of Kamala’s entire character is that she really likes heroics and looks up to Captain Marvel as her hero. Surely that’s a lot of incentive to have been training all this time. I guess everyone was off their game though, even Nick Fury was having some trouble with random goons.

It might come down to the film just having more of a cheery tone than some of the other titles. This one feels more like a quick TV special than a full on movie. That’s not really a bad thing as it makes for a comfy watch. Part of why I enjoyed the film is it feels like an episode of superhero television, just in live action. Sometime you can pick up and watch for some fun without getting invested into a real end of the world plot. Maybe I wouldn’t feel as excited if I saw this one in theaters since it’s pretty short but the quality was there.

Also, power level issues aside, I thought Kamala made for a good character. I liked her enthusiasm and she was a great contrast to the other characters who were definitely not going to be as cheery. After all being a superhero should be really fun. It isn’t always sunshine and flowers of course but having powers seems like it would be super fun. So it was nice to have one character just enjoying the journey.

Now one other issue about the film being so happy is that it does have to gloss over some of the more serious details of the film. For example Carol forces the other heroes to leave a planet while tons of innocents were still there. Kamala wanted to save them but is overruled and the body count was rather massive. Usually you’d expect a full argument about this and a lot of back and forth but Kamala continues to idolize Carol and doesn’t dwell on it too much. I thought that was a little too easy. It’s a really serious decision and there should have been some pushback.

Carol was right in that moment that they couldn’t save everyone but with her powers she certainly could have saved many more. Kamala should have grilled her on that and it should have been a cause for tension for a while. A good example of this disillusionment would be what happened with Shazam and Superman in Justice League. Having a moment shatter the image of your hero is a big deal. So the film should have really stayed on that more.

Even the fact that a ton of the Kree died indirectly due to Carol’s actions from the first film should have been dwelled on more. Sure, Dar is mainly using that as an excuse but it’s an interesting plot point. I would argue that Carol had no way of knowing the effects she would cause and also didn’t have many options at the time since the supreme intelligence was evil. It’s like when you take down a dictator and now the innocents suffer due to the chaos at the top. It’s something you try to mitigate but doesn’t change the fact that the dictator had to be taken down.

As for Dar, she’s not a very compelling villain at all. She tends to get the shaft in this film with how fast it goes. Her motives are pretty basic and there isn’t much to her fighting style. So nothing really makes her standout. The film itself isn’t the most forgettable but most of the memorable parts will not include her. The prince from the musical kingdom probably ends up leaving more of an impact. She is powerful to be sure but that’s it. Dar essentially works as a living obstacle to the heroes.

The musical planet was a fun little subplot though. It’s an example of a joke that was done pretty well and did not overstay its welcome. If the scene had been 10 minutes longer then I’d probably be shaking my head but it was short enough to work. Then we had the scene of the cats eating everyone which was decent but in context I don’t think it works super well. The fact that everyone was running for their lives was a bit crazy. I think at least half of them would have in theory taken this in stride and running off would just burn a lot of time that the heroes didn’t have. Also with how the cats would randomly spit the objects out, I’m not sure how much I would trust the plan.

Overall, The Marvels was pretty good. It’s not really going to stand out because this feels like a fairly generic adventure. The heroes aren’t really taking the stakes too seriously and they’re so much stronger than the villains that we need a whole energy plot device to prevent them from ending the film too quickly. I don’t think a lack of ambition is a big enough reason to say that a film is bad though. Ultimately it was still fun which is the important part. There were no really bad scenes and the writing was good enough. I thought the banter worked pretty well and since the film was playing it super safe, it’s not like it was going to be making any big mistakes. The post credits scene is more interesting than exciting. I would have chosen almost any other guest star character from the team to make the scene a lot better but I’l still take it. This is seemingly a pretty important scene. So if you enjoy a classic superhero team up then you should check this movie out.

Overall 7/10

Monsters University Review

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I can barely believe that Monsters University came out over 10 years ago. To me this feels like it was just the other day as I still lump it in with the modern prequel/sequel craze that’s taken over. Well, I can say this one wasn’t a cash grab as it actually works really well as a prequel. I’d even say that it beats the original one. Perhaps that’s a bit of recency bias but the whole movie goes by really quickly and has no real weaknesses. I was entertained the whole way through and the character cast is small but strong.

The movie centers around Mike who wants to be a great scarer. He got to see a professional in action when he was a kid and that has inspired him to choose this career choice. Unfortunately Mike is a rather small monster who doesn’t look very imposing. In order to be a scarer, you have to be able to scare kids under any circumstances. Can Mike really get around this issue? He studies his butt off but it never seems to make a difference. Meanwhile Sully is from a family of elite scarers and is a scary looking bear monster. He doesn’t study at all and yet he still looks scary. Both characters will have to reluctantly team up in order to win the annual scare tournament.

There are a lot of positive things to say about the film but the first one is how it’s realistic about Mike’s situation. A lesser film would have gone the cheesy route and just had him train until everyone found him to be really scary. It might be a fun way to end the film but it wouldn’t make a lot of sense. While Mike does improve on his technique, the film is consistent in showing that he will just never be as scary as some of the other monsters and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. He’s just going to need to look into some different careers or maybe get creative and do some things to help make him scarier. That could have worked as an alternative ending where he gets a mech suit or something.

Mike is a fun character either way and I enjoyed his banter with Sully. Mike never really backs down which is nice to see. He may not be the toughest monster on the block but he’s not going to be pushed around either. He gets a good share of victories thanks to his book smarts as well. Meanwhile Sully starts out as more of a total slacker but starts to really try later on. It takes a while for the lessons to really sink in though as he initially just goes through the motions without really believing it. Ironically the moment where he decides to break some rules is when he really became part of the team. To be clear, breaking the rules was not a good thing. Even if you do that to help another person out, cheating is still cheating.

Sully learned a lot throughout the film and so that made for a good character arc. If there were any weak characters, well I guess they would be the rest of the team. I think you could have written the film in a way where there would be less teammates even if they did contribute to the character arcs of both Mike and Sully. They had to learn how to work with other characters who seemingly had no potential. I would have preferred for the other characters to have locked in a bit more though. It didn’t feel like they were super determined to succeed. Almost like this was just a mild hobby for them but not something that they were staking everything on.

Meanwhile we had a few antagonists here. First up was the cool Omega club. Those guys were fun and I thought they were handled well. The film kept itself from making them too extreme. Yes they were jerks and humiliating the main characters but they didn’t cross the bridge into being totally evil or anything. Just the normal amount of school bullying that you would expect.

Likewise the principal is abusing her power to be sure and being rather petty in how she handles Mike & Sully, but isn’t trying to beat them up or anything like that. You can also absolutely understand why she was upset since they broke a really precious heirloom to her. You probably should have expected it to be broken at some point though. This is a school for monsters after all….

The animation is pretty solid throughout the film. It’s not exactly going to be winning any awards of standing out a ton but the style works well enough for the film. I enjoyed the glow in the dark challenge as the heroes had to try and dodge some sticky spikes that would slow them down. This isn’t exactly an action film so it doesn’t get to show off with fight scenes but this would be the closest thing to that. There isn’t much of a soundtrack this time around either so I wouldn’t expect any big tunes.

The film’s a little too short to show us all of the tournament rounds but the ones that we did get were pretty fun. I liked the challenge of sneaking up on the librarian and of course the final battle was pretty good with the scares. The twist in there even surprised me when it first happened. The movie handles itself beautifully both in how it sets up the main film and how it works as a stand alone title. You don’t need to have seen Monsters Inc. to be able to appreciate this one.

No film is going to be perfect on the humor but the jokes we get tend to be pretty decent. There is a rushed romance at the end that’ll make you cringe and generally I thought the teammates were not funny. Outside of that, the jokes hold their own. As long as you enjoy Mike and Sully then you’re in a good spot here since their gags tend to be a blast with each one easily being triggered by the other.

Overall, Monsters University was pretty fun. I had a better time with it than I expected. It’s not like I thought it would be a bad film or anything like that but I guess I expected it to be a little less focused. More of a fun prequel with the cast messing around as opposed to actually being rather serious and having a tight story. The school background can be hit or miss in these films but this one worked really well. If you haven’t seen the film yet then I would definitely recommend changing that.

Overall 7/10

Moonstruck Review

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Oh no it’s time for one of those messy romance films where everyone is cheating on each other. Obviously a romance is going to automatically be a bad one when there is cheating involved because that isn’t true love. Cheating immediately shows that there is a rebound and that neither character can be trusted. They have broken their word and honor by engaging in the act right from the start. Even if it’s meant to be a way to show how dramatic these adventures can be or to try for a jaded sense of realism, that’s not going to be enough to save this. It is absolutely possible to have a film that is good in spite of the characters being terrible but this was not that kind of film.

The movie starts off with Loretta finally getting proposed for marriage by her boyfriend. She has been waiting for this moment for a long time after her first marriage fell apart. This is really her chance in order to land a man before she has become too old. Johnny is excited as well but he has to go on a work trip for a while so he heads on out. Unfortunately this gives time for his brother Ronny to show up and this guy falls for Loretta right away. He is determined to get her and unfortunately her willpower may not be all that strong. Can she stay loyal to Johnny?

Well obviously she doesn’t and I wouldn’t even call that a spoiler because she doesn’t even last 5 minutes. Instead she tries to just say they should forget about it and her strategy is to hang out with Ronny but not let things get too serious. It’s a terrible plan right from the start to be honest and she was just being in denial. Once you’ve already crossed the line then there is no way back out. You just have to accept the fact that you’re a terrible person and retreat from all relationships. Johnny certainly didn’t deserve his and keeping it a secret would also be a terribly toxic way of handling things. Loretta was just a really terrible character all the way through. Ronny takes a ton of blame as well but I always put more on the person who is actually in a relationship.

Obviously Ronny broke the unspoken rules about not dating someone who is already dating a family member. He also shouldn’t be going after women who are taken and so there was no saving this character either. Just a poor character all the way through. The only correct option for him would have been to stay away from Loretta. Even if he truly fell head over heels in love with her, e was simply too late and just has to accept that.

Meanwhile Loretta’s father Cosmo is also a terrible character all the way as he decides to cheat on his wife the whole time. She handles this a little too calmly as well by just telling him to stop and things will be fine but he is taking all the blame here for being the one to start the cheating relationship. The guy wasn’t even sorry that he did it, just that he was caught.

Johnny is mostly innocent in all of this but then looks absolutely terrible in accepting the circumstances at the end of the film. A betrayal like this is not something that you just accept and cheer on. The whole ending is laughably bad and while I think that is part of the whole point of the ending, it still makes you shake your head. Johnny wimping out was ultimately for the best as he would have been in a terrible relationship but that’s only with knowledge from being outside the film. From in-universe it is just a bad look all around.

There really aren’t any good characters here. At least Loretta’s mother resisted the advances of one guy who tried to get with her but she was definitely playing with fire by eating with him in the first place. There is nothing wrong with having friends even once you’re married but you really need to be very smart about each interaction. You have to be able to read the other person and make sure that they aren’t going to try and make a move on you because at that point it would be too late to do anything about that. It’s easy to say you have too much willpower to do anything until it ends up happening. I wouldn’t trust any of the characters in this film at all.

In short there just weren’t any really strong elements to the film. Their conversations tended to be on the annoying side and are the kinds of dialogue that just ruin the reputation of romance itself. Characters settling because they are getting old, cheating just so that they can postpone death, etc. It’s basically a combination of all the worst tropes about romance and what some people think it is all about. I definitely tend to prefer the more idealistic version of romance with true love and each person never falling for a rebound. That’s how it is supposed to work after all and this film just wasn’t able to understand that. A relationship is about pure trust and pure love. If you’re settling or still checking out the market afterwards then it’s a bad romance definitionally.

Overall, Moonstruck is definitely one of those films that I would avoid. The romance is pretty terrible, we’re talking on the level of the Titanic here. Maybe even worse than that to be honest with how many pairings there were. There was just no saving any of these characters and the film is reasonably long. That time could have been used to make a good romance instead. I’m all for having a bunch of drama but it has to be the right kind. This one will definitely not go down as a solid title. At least the moon looked nice, it always stands out in the sky.

Overall 2/10

Vera Cruz Review

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It’s time for a retro western. Well I guess you don’t even need to call it retro because they don’t really make westerns anymore hehe. This was not one of the better ones. The villains get away with way too much the whole time and you re left shaking your head. At best I can say that the ending was decent although one character comes across as looking like a bit of a sucker. He lets things go on for too long just for the sake of his personal pride/honor.

The film starts off by introducing us to two big shot gunmen. The first is Joe, who is one of those guys who believes in might makes right. He will do whatever he wants in order to succeed even if that means constantly betraying folks. He even tells Ben that nobody can be trusted in this world. Then you have Ben who has much more of a strict honor code. He is a lone gun right now thanks to tragic circumstances from his past but doesn’t want to lose himself. Naturally there is a whole lot of tension between the two of them. They are both recruited by a group of fighters who oppose the Mexican government. These guys have actually taken control of a great deal of the country and have the upper hand. Is their money worth choosing the wrong side in this civil war?

While the Mexican civil war is the backdrop for the whole film, I wouldn’t say that it is super important. The film seems to show the Mexican government as being the good guys here and so ideally that is the case but I’m not familiar with the two factions. Within the context of this movie the fighter group definitely appeared to be crooked with all of their underhanded tricks though. The government constantly took the high road even if it backfired several times with hostages being taken.

At one point they had the main characters cornered but unfortunately a bunch of kids ran in and got held hostage. The government should have fired as soon as the villains approached the kids. Hesitating like that is likely why they lost the country in the first place. Throughout the film we are shown the contrast of how Ben is not nearly as ruthless as Joe. I would just say that it’s a bit hollow considering that he is still working with the guy. I don’t give you a whole lot of points for standing by while other villains are doing their thing. That’s just not how this all works.

Ben was also just too passive in general. At one point a girl shows up and pickpockets him. He takes forever to notice and by the time he asks for it back, she has already spent all of the money. Ben ultimately doesn’t mind and falls for her anyway but it makes him look like a real soft touch. Joe really criticizes him for this and it’s the only time that the guy is right. Ben was putting everyone in danger for not being able to control his feelings. Then it all climaxes at the end where he is faced off with an unrepentant villain and still can’t take the shot because he wants them both to be on even playing field. Just not a smart decision.

I can’t say that Joe was much better though. I did think that the way he was constantly grinning throughout the movie was interesting though. It made him look particularly unhinged which I think was the overall point. So that was handled really well. That being said, it will always be hard to root for a villain. Especially one like Joe who is still obsessed with both women and gold. It’s not like he is fighting for some kind of grand cause or anything like that. The guy just wants all of life’s pleasures with no real responsibility.

As I mentioned before, the villains just get away with way too much throughout the film. The way you could have saved Ben’s character would have been to bump a few of them off early on. The two villains ride with a band of thugs who end up getting to the main heroine at one point for a while before the main two break it up. It’s always going to be too late when the main characters get their after contact and just makes them complicit the whole time. The film really could have used a good sheriff character who would show up to take care of these guys. That would have really made a big difference.

I don’t think a film like this was ever going to be great but removing a scene like that would still do a lot of good. The heroine wasn’t even a solid character as she had to use a lot of tricks in order to complete her mission. It’s always an annoying subplot to have to resort to that instead of just taking everyone down with a gun. That’s the most direct way to claiming victory and you always wonder why it doesn’t happen more often. The wild west will always give you plenty of opportunities to pick people off.

Overall, Vera Cruz was definitely not a good wild west title and is one that you will want to stay way from. It takes most of the worst elements of the genre like the general lawlessness of it all and doesn’t add in a lot of strengths to offset the whole thing. As a result the film itself never ends up being all that fun. The old style script is the only thing you can really give the film and that’s not much. I dare say that a film covering the actual civil war would have been much better and more entertaining. That would have ensured more big battles and definitely a more likable set of main characters. If you are ever in a situation where you have the upper hand against a villain, don’t give him time to go for his gun.

Overall 2/10

The Last House Review

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This is one of those films that just kept on getting worse and worse the more it went on. The film just didn’t know how to wrap things up and so the situation had to drag out a whole lot. It also made some key mistakes including adding a dog to the picture. That was never going to go over well and sure enough it ended up dooming this adventure. I’d definitely recommend staying far away from this title.

The film starts off with Jason going fishing. He doesn’t do very well but enjoys the sport for how relaxing it can be. A storm is brewing so he heads on home to be with his family. Unfortunately he quickly realizes that there is no way out. Everyone across the planet has now been locked inside of their houses and anyone who was outside is now dead. He has a lot of food at home so he and the rest of the family can last a few months but then it will all be game over. Who is doing this and how can the heroes manage to survive? The odds are not in his favor.

The movie starts off very cryptically but gradually we see what is going on here. It turns out that aliens have shown up. I go with aliens personally but it’s also implied that they came from the ocean. Unfortunately their goals and powers don’t make a whole lot of sense. It’s hard to get too much into the issues without spoilers so I’ll stick to broad strokes. They were able to shut off the gas and electricity right away but still let the heroes access running water and TV for a long time? Somehow people were still running around outside for days/weeks after the genocide so did the aliens get sloppy or are they just sadistic and wanted to let people stay alive longer?

Clearly they have a whole lot of hatred in their hearts for the humans and yet the ending undercuts their stubbornness in a big way. The ending just wasn’t earned and it goes for the wrong moral here as the humans needed to do all they could to crush these things. It’s hard to say exactly how durable they are but you have to give it your best effort. It was the only thing that one of the kids did right in his attempts to escape. I don’t see why you would just allow yourself to be a prisoner forever, that’s no life.

The main characters get a whole lot of plot armor the whole time though as the creatures should have finished them off early on. The only reason they did not is because these were the main characters so it really doesn’t count for much. Most of the characters look bad by the end. The only one who really stayed strong was Jason and even then he has a lot of moments for self doubt. I just give him more credit because he did keep his family alive.

Without him the others would have died early on. He is the one who kept the fight alive and never stopped struggling. His wife was very supportive for a while but gave up at different points in the film. She also joined the two kids in talking about how distant Jason was. Look, I’m not saying Jason was perfect by any means but as a father/husband his number one priority was figuring out a way to stop the creatures. He succeeded and that just came at the expense of his emotions for a while there.

I just find it hard to sympathize with the other characters. The son in particular is annoying with how he makes fun of Jason’s efforts to fix a car which took several years. He could have been gracious about the whole thing instead of immediately throwing cold water on the effort. It was just a really bad look for him. As for the daughter, she is younger for a lot of the film and not really able to do much. By the end of the film she starts acting like the creatures may not be that bad. Clearly she doesn’t remember how they brutally destroyed the jogger outside and have sealed everyone within their homes. It just comes across as dangerously naive to look at the aliens as anything other than mass murderers.

All of that said, what really crushed the film was the subplot about their sick dog. The dog needs medicine or he starts to have a heart attack and unfortunately there is no way to buy more pills as the film goes on. This inevitably leads to some rough scenes and this should not have been in the film. The movie also has the characters get awfully pragmatic about the lack of food coming up and so things get even darker. That was enough to sink the whole film. There is just no getting past that and the film didn’t have to get this grim dark. We also have a lot of animal hunting scenes and one even getting its neck broken just to underscore how dark the whole thing is. Nothing about the film is subtle.

I dare say you have to try all other avenues to the point of death first. I was unconvinced about the attempts to escape the house. Yes the water would block it but you have to keep trying to plug holes in there over and over. It’s a case where you have to assume it would have failed or someone around the world would have tried that but I would have liked to have seen more attempts. Then you also have the later parts of the film where the creature wanders into the house once in a while. That’s when you obviously have to attack and push your way past him.

When we found out that Jason had a gun I was expecting something like that by the end but it ended up all being a red herring. The film feels like a red herring at times with some interesting ideas but nothing comes of them. I wanted to learn what the monsters were doing and where was the government? Surely there were a good amount of people who fought back from outside the houses when the whole situation started. This is a film that desperately needed world building. It was almost 2 hours too so there was plenty of time to do that instead of having constant time skips. The film should have cut quite a few of those out because it also gets less scary when the characters have been surviving just fine for years. That undermines the villains all the way.

A film about everyone being stuck at home is really interesting but you have to think about the premise all the way around so it isn’t easy to stick a bunch of holes in it. The idea is so much better than the execution and it isn’t even close. Maybe Netflix will get it right next time but I have my doubts. If a remake was announced I would still be interested in checking it out though.

Overall, The Last House is definitely a film that will fade in your memory over time. It did not make any of the right decisions and that really limited its potential. In the way you always need to find a way to surpass the odds and deliver a scary product that is still fun. That didn’t happen here and so you can do much better. You won’t want to invest 2 hours into this title that doesn’t even give you a great payoff in the end.

Overall 1/10

Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another vampire film and this one is made by Horror. Needless to say, this was doomed from the start. Both of those things are usually connected to the absolute worst films around and when you mix them together then that’s a recipe for disaster. Ultimately this film was not able to rise above my first impressions there and at best you can give it credit for some original decisions.

The film introduces us to Captain Kronos who is a powerful fighter. He has been slaying vampires for a long time along with his partner Professor Grost. This time he is tasked with finding a potential vampire in a small village. This will not be an easy task as Kronos will need to lay out some traps and gradually begin getting suspects. In the meantime this vampire will keep on picking more and more people off. Kronos also runs into a lady named Carla who was about to be executed. After saving her, she decides to become his girlfriend but is there any time for this?

Okay lets blast through all of the issues first. Right away one of the big ones is naturally going to be the usual vampire violence. I’m not big on the blood sucking at all and that is always a main part of this genre. It’s a bit different than some others since the vampire is more interested in stealing vitality but equals out to the same thing. The vampire also uses the usual hypnosis to force the victims into accepting their fate rather than running off to live another day.

We’ve also got the very shallow kind of romance at the ready here. Yes, Kronos saved Carla’s life so you can see why she would be grateful but this doesn’t immediately have to turn into a relationship. She jumps right into the one night stand kind of situation without batting an eye. I feel like the Hammer films like to use any excuse for a bit of fanservice. It’s not as crazy as in some of their other titles but still comes across as unnatural.

The characters also aren’t all that interesting. Professor Grost is easily rage baited by the villains to the point where he doesn’t realize that they were being paid off to instigate a fight. Both Kronos and Carla seemed to figure that out right away so why didn’t the professor? He is a good ally to have around and helps out a lot with the weapons and everything but you feel like he could have done a whole lot better.

As for Kronos, well I suppose he’s your classic hero. I don’t get the feeling that he is the most dependable guy in a relationship with how fast he was moving here but maybe he wouldn’t rebound later on. His fighting skills are pretty good though and surpass the film’s budget. He essentially vanishes mid combat to show off how fast he is. I appreciate that from a power level sense but then his final plan is terrible. He sends Carla into the vampire’s lair as bait and then takes his sweet time to get there. He takes the time to look at a skull in the upper floors and this distracts him while Carla is attacked.

If not for a significant degree of plot armor, she would have been dead. Prior to Carla, all of the other victims were destroyed right away. A good example of this was earlier in the same film. The heroes all staked out the location where the vampire would be striking and a girl was walking on by. Well, they lost sight of her and so she was destroyed before she could even get close. Not a good look at all. It’s why you feel like Kronos should have done a lot more before the ending.

As for the vampire, well the identity of the final boss is a twist of course. Still, I wouldn’t say that the villain was very impressive or imposing. This long term plan had a ton of risks with it and I would say that the character even got lucky. It’s not like vampires ever tend to be all that interesting but this was still pretty egregious even for that. You also had a pair of siblings who are around for lore but don’t do much of anything. It was a little funny to see them standing so still in the background during the big battle.

The final battle is essentially fencing so it wasn’t terribly interesting but I give the film some credit there. Still, there is just nothing really to enjoy about the film. If you heavily lean into the action angle then it is possible to make a vampire film that is actually decent but it is incredibly difficult and not something that just any title can do.

There isn’t much to talk about regarding the setting as it looks like basically any old town. The writing is okay I suppose but just about everyone in town seems to be evil. There aren’t many characters that Kronos can count on. The doctor who invited him there had to be bumped off naturally and it wasn’t the most painless way to go out either. The other humans at the bar didn’t even need to be mind controlled because they were already content to murder the main characters for a little money. With humanity being so corrupt in this town, it’s no wonder that a vampire was able to get so far.

Overall, This film was definitely a mess and is not going to end up being known as a solid title. It does at least try to have the usual twists and turns but ultimately comes down to just being another slasher title. It takes forever for Kronos to stop the vampire from murdering everyone and so the victory feels hollow. It doesn’t even make all that much sense on why Kronos left without Carla. She totally could have kept going on the journey and instead it seems like he’ll probably just be rebounding before now. Perhaps this could have become a really cool movie series some day but that day isn’t today.

Overall 1/10

A Minecraft Movie Review

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This film really ended blew up in theaters and did better than anyone would have dreamed of. It was really impressive and showed just how powerful the world of gaming could be. It took me a while to see it but after watching the film I can confirm that it was pretty solid. The story was on point and the gags were solid. Throw in the fact that it was really not ashamed to be a video game adaption and you have a confident movie on your hands. I would definitely recommend it.

The movie starts off with Steve arriving in the world of Minecraft and quickly mastering the world’s mechanics. Unfortunately he bumps into the dark side of this realm where he is captured by the villains. His dog is able to escape with the gem connecting the two worlds though. Now there is no chance of harm coming to Earth. Unfortunately the gem is found many years later by a guy who is down on his luck. He ends up arriving into the world of Minecraft with two kids and a local real estate agent. Can they find a way to stop the evildoers from getting to the surface world?

I thought that the opening sequence really set the right tone from the start. It was all very fast paced. Instead of waiting 30 minutes for the heroes to make it to this new world, Steve does it in 5 minutes. I liked how quickly he was able to master the different mechanics and wasn’t acting like a tourist. Steve just got to business and it was even pretty heroic how he was able to escape prison long enough to get his dog out of there. Naturally the scenes are played with a slight grin from the movie’s part as this is still a comedy first and foremost but it is actually funny.

That’s something that the film really gets right. The jokes tend to land well with a lot of tried and true gags. The film isn’t exactly going into uncharted territory but it doesn’t need to do that. When you execute an old joke well then it hits as hard as it did the first time. Of course if you don’t tend to like the sillier type of films then this one’s probably not going to change your mind either. It’s all about those old school fundamentals and this is the kind of film you could picture watching on VHS back in the day. If you play Minecraft then you’ll probably recognize more of the gags right away and if not, you’ll still understand all of the important ones.

Steve was definitely the best character throughout the film. He was always in charge of the situation and managed to keep his cool even when things didn’t go as planned. He may not have been a huge success back on Earth but once he was in Minecraft world he was quick to dominate over there. He didn’t whine or complain about his lot in life. He found a creative solution and that’s the way to go.

Garrett becomes one of the main characters early on as another version of Steve to an extent. He was hugely popular at one point but is now poor in the real world. He just can’t find any way to get successful again and is forced to pretend to be someone’s uncle in order to make some pocket change. When Henry finds the magic orb, this becomes Garrett’s chance to make some money. In Minecraft world he is able to finally be the tough guy that he has always portrayed himself to be. It’s not easy but Garrett just makes it work.

He does break down at one point as the pressure becomes too much but for the most part keeps it together. He has a big rivalry with Steve throughout the movie and then eventually earn each other’s respect. Garrett is far from perfect but still makes for a really likable character. It also made sense that he would want some diamonds because he was about to be evicted in the real world. I thought the whole plot line was very reasonable and it’s not like he was doing anything super drastic to get it.

Henry and Natalie can be more on the annoying side. Natalie actually doesn’t get as big a role as you would think. As the older sibling she does her best to look after Henry and make sure that he’s okay. She makes him a pie to bring to school and does her best to be supportive. So I wouldn’t say that she’s a bad character but does randomly try to make Garrett look bad at times by trying to debunk what he’s saying. I never got why some characters want to just be spoilsports like that.

As for Henry, he doesn’t look very good here. After Garrett helps him throughout the movie, Henry is quick to be upset at him later on. I would have preferred for Henry to keep his cool there. Yeah Garrett wasn’t fully honest with him which isn’t cool but I would argue that he still didn’t do anything that was super drastic. It would have been a different story if he ended up being a full traitor or something. Henry’s just a kid so you have to cut him some slack but honestly the film could have worked better without him.

Finally you have Dawn and she ends up being a bit of a downer as well. She just doesn’t know how to have fun as much as Garrett and Steve. They do their best to keep the adventure light while she either starts complaining or trying to get them back on task. What’s the point of exploring a whole new world if you have to be stressed out the whole time? I guess what it all boils down to is that Steve and Garrett didn’t really need any side characters here.

I suppose that would have hurt the banter though. It’s not like every joke landed but on the whole there were more wins than not. If anything this just didn’t leave much room for the villain to be memorable. She does have a really good final scene as she tries to land a hit on Steve when he drops his guard though. That was pretty good, especially when she tried more than once. It was one of the better gags in the film. If you can’t be a serious threat then the next best thing is to be funny and she pulled that off.

The effects throughout the movie are pretty good. I appreciated how much it was copying the game as well like the villains turning into meat. This was a movie that really paid attention to the details of the game. Now if you don’t like slapstick then that would be the only reason to avoid this film. A lot of the humor is physical so you’re going to have characters getting thrown around and beat up but these scenes just work. I’d even say that about the movie in general…it just works.

There is only one weak plot in the film and that’s the subplot of the divorced vice principal dating a random Minecraft character. That said, it’s still 100X better than the similar plot in Pixels. This one doesn’t overstay its welcome nearly as much and the scenes tend to be short. I’d say they should have been cut out as they had nothing to do with anything but at least they aren’t really in your face the whole time. So I won’t be too harsh on that front.

Overall, A Minecraft Movie was better than I expected it to be. I figured it would be a fun time and all but more like a 6. In the end it surpassed that to be a pretty good experience that I could recommend to anyone. I’m definitely eager to see how the sequel plays out. There are a lot of fun things they can do with a sequel like introducing the Ender Dragon. Of course this is the kind of title where a sequel can mess up easily by not being funny. That’s hard to predict though so we just have to hope for the best for now.

Overall 7/10

Somewhere in Time Review

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It’s time for a film involving time travel and that’s always an interesting concept. This one even went out of the box and came up with a brand new time travel strategy. Unfortunately the movie does have a pretty weak ending and on the whole isn’t the most exciting film. So I’d say that it’s okay and is entertaining enough to be around the middle point of what a film can be.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Richard who is a fairly successful playwright. He is approached by an old lady who cryptically says to come back to her. Richard has no idea what she meant and runs off to his hotel. He sees a photograph of a lady who looks so beautiful that he falls in love with her. Richard’s obsession grows very strong as surface level beauty is enough for him and he does a bunch of research on time travel. Apparently time travel is possible as long as you focus hard enough. So he goes to his room and focuses until he travels back time to when Elise was around his age. Can he get her to fall in love with him?

So yeah that’s an interesting way to time travel. You basically have to will it and then make sure you don’t think of the current day or the time travel spell will fade. It would be a pretty exciting thing in real life but also risky as the ending of the film shows. A single misstep would really have you down for the count. The sci-fi stuff was interesting but then we turn to the romance which is much weaker.

Naturally I am already skeptical of Richard being this much in love with Elise from a single portrait. To me that is just a shallow crush. A crush is when you fall for someone due to one overwhelming attribute, commonly looks. Then true love is when you have really gotten to know the person and still love them as you always have. Richard had already settled his mind before he even met her. If he can keep that energy up forever then it’s not a problem but it’s all so sudden.

As for Elise, it’s really the same issue. She is quick to fall for Richard when he shows up and the guy wasn’t exactly looking all that rational. From the start he is acting like destiny mandates that they be together and is just fortunate that she was big on supernatural stuff too. Otherwise that would have been really dicey from the start.

Her manager William is actually very defensible at first in trying to keep Richard away. Richard just seems crazy after all and this romance could detail Elise’s career in a moment. As the film goes on William becomes more and more unsteady though and even hires some muscle to beat Richard up. At that point there is really no way to defend him so he falls into the realm of being a full antagonist. I suppose based on the events in the present we can say that he was able to recover from this though.

The film can be a bit of a slow burn but I won’t knock that much as it helps the romance a little bit. In theory you need a lot of scenes of the main two together in order to buy the romance. I still didn’t by the end but the film made a decent case for itself. I did think that the scenes in the present were more interesting than the ones in the past though. Researching how to master time travel was fun as well as visiting the professor who founded the idea.

The film has good writing and decent pacing on the whole. The script is solid and so this is a film that is easy to watch. At the same time, there just isn’t much of a hook here. The time travel isn’t used enough to make the film particularly exciting and like I said the ending is weak. It was absolutely the wrong message to show to the audience and makes Richard look pretty bad. The time itself shouldn’t matter at this point so he should live to an old age before getting to the reunion. I do appreciate that neither character was looking for a rebound though.

Somewhere in Time is a film that doesn’t mind being more of a tragic story. I tend to much prefer happy slice of life adventures though. When it comes to romance the doomed ones can be fun but that’s when both characters carry on and make the best of their lives. Elise certainly did but the same can’t be said for Richard. Honestly it just means that Richard gave up too quickly. When time travel is in play, you always have more chances. He just needed to gather his strength and do it all over again. I dare say that’s what most characters would have done.

Richard also has a pretty weak moment near the end of the film where he is jumped by some guys and doesn’t get to fight back at all. His whole journey is at risk here so I would have liked to have seen some more fight out of him. You just can’t go down so easily like that and he honestly should have expected that something was up. The whole sequence just made him come across as really naive.

Overall, Somewhere in Time is an okay movie but doesn’t have enough replay value to get it into the green. This is a film that would have really been better with a solid ending to cap things off. That would have been enough to make the difference. Still, if you like time travel then you should check this film out. No other title has taken the same approach. Alternately if you are a strong believer in love at first sight then this is a movie that takes the idea seriously all the way.

Overall 5/10