Men In Black: International Review


All right gang, it’s time to look at the Men in Black’s latest outing. It’s definitely a franchise that pretty much everyone is familiar with although it hasn’t been the most consistent of titles. The first film was really good and the second was still solid. The third one was a pretty big dip in quality though and this one is more in line with that. It’s a decent movie, but one that you probably won’t bother to see twice.

The film starts out with a tease with Agent H and T heading off to fight the Hive. The scene ends real quick though so you never get to see the fight, thereby making it a bit of a waste of an intro. The scene wasn’t bad, but the sudden ending just invalidates the whole thing. We then cut to a flashback taking place before the intro which was also a flashback. We’re introduced to Molly who managed to escape having her memory wiped since everyone thought she was asleep. She then makes it her life’s mission to find the MIB. After tracking them down and being recruited she is given her first assignment. Agent M is to work with H and what should have been a routine escort mission quickly becomes a planetary crisis. Is M ready for this?

First off, the script is pretty solid. I do like the fast paced banter with the leads here. This style of humor’s been working pretty well for Chris’ various cinema characters lately and Agent H is no exception. He’s always got a comeback for everything and the rest of the characters follow suit. One good example of this is Pawny who takes every opportunity to take shots at H. While not all of the insults will land there are quite a few solid ones in there. One involves referencing how H was choked which was the ultimate comeback. There’s no counter to that. There is a whole lot of comedy in the film, but it rarely gets annoying. At most you’ve got some laugh scenes that last too long or too many jokes in a small time frame, but with the writing it didn’t really feel like an issue.

I think where the writing breaks down is how MIB just feels more about spectacle than realism here. I’m sure there are issues with them you could nitpick in the earlier films too, but here they’re just very apparent. One is how the heroes constantly show off the alien tech everywhere. There’s one scene where H and M quickly blast a few humans with the memory wiper, but ignore the hundreds of other people in the area. I guess there’s no time to blast them all, but then it’s almost pointless to blast the few. Molly’s whole origin story is pretty telling on how easy it is to avoid the MIB. I feel like more people should know about them at this point. As for a total nitpick, the train scene is a little odd. This is a secret MIB train that only the agents know about so why does it keep changing from an MTA train to a sci-fi one? Once it’s already underground with aliens boarding I don’t see the purpose in keeping it transformed except for the shock value scene of spooking M.

The film is also very predictable. To an extent most films are, but some just feel more telegraphed than others. This one is like Captain Marvel in that respect (Maybe it’s just a sci-fi thing) but you’ll be able to predict all of the twists before they occur. I won’t even hint at the main twist, but the instant one character brings up the possibility you just know that it’s a certainty. Then there’s one character who appears for an instant near the beginning so you know it’ll tie in later on. They say that the destination doesn’t matter and it’s all about the journey so if we take that as true then this wouldn’t really hurt the film. Honestly I don’t hold predictability against a movie since I do think it’s all in the execution. It wouldn’t hurt to mask what’s going to happen a little better though.

Now for the characters. I think Chris Hemsworth is quickly becoming like Tom Cruise or Dwayne Johnson in that he’s quickly becoming an actor who is playing himself rather than a character. There’s a debate to be had on whether that’s a good thing or not (Hint, it’s usually a good thing) but regardless it makes for H being a pretty entertaining character. He definitely has his share of iffy moments and he goes a little too far in being the irresponsible lead. You can see what the film is going for with the character, but I think he plays the trope a little too far. Now, the film does open the door to an explanation for this, but the film only halfheartedly entertains the idea and never goes through with it. Unless we actually get a sequel this will just be something for fan theories and headcanons so I can’t give him a pass. He’s an entertaining character, but definitely not a heroic one.

M is pretty solid. She’s definitely his polar opposite as she has lived her whole life just to join the MIB and as a result has no real life. This is almost a bit tragic to be honest, but I always like when a character has a one track mind like this. She’s a quick learner and while she isn’t as quick to think on her feet, she does have a lot of general knowledge on aliens and such. M has done her research so she adds some brains to the operation. She fills in her role pretty well.

Agent C is also a solid character. He’s thrown into one of those roles where he’s made out to be the annoying figure in the film, but that’s all if you look at it through the main characters’ lens. If you think about it objectively he is just doing his job and doing it well I might add. Every action he takes makes sense and it’s also perfectly understandable why he is a little jealous about how H gets to break all of the rules. I liked him quite a bit. Then you’ve got Agent T who is the classic boss type character. He’s pretty stern and down to business. A solid character all around, but naturally I liked him best during the flashback opening where he was a field agent.

As mentioned earlier Pawny is mainly here to crack a lot of jokes. He does come in handy on many occasions though and I think a good comic relief character needs to know when to step up. Pawny did just that and as a result he is a very complete character. He easily could have been a very annoying one so I think we got to give him some credit for avoiding that fate. Then you have one of the villains named Riza who is around for a quick fight scene. I do like the idea of a 3 armed fighting style and thought the fight was pretty well handled. Her actual plot wasn’t though. I won’t say much here, but keep in mind that her island is known as a lair of certain death and is the toughest place in the cosmos. So…why doesn’t she have more guards or security so people can’t literally strut around the place? Everything’s connected to one lever??? You’re gonna be suspending a lot of disbelief here.

There are also the two villains from the trailer who can turn into a space like vortex. They have cool designs and I like the moveset, but the film doesn’t give them a whole lot to do. In a way they just feel like they’re filling in space which is never what you want to happen. I think so much more could have been done with them, they don’t even really get named by the end of their appearances.

The special effects are definitely on point. There are a lot of scenes where the movie gets to show off the energy effects and such. There aren’t too many fights, but I did like the first action scene which took place in the city. The city’s always the best backdrop and as I mentioned the villains’ powers have good visuals attached to them. There were even some Terminator influences here with how they could manipulate metal. Then the soundtrack is superb as always. The main Men in Black theme is just really good and tends to fit in with everything. It makes any scene feel a lot more intriguing automatically.

Overall, Men in Black International was pretty reasonable. It’s a good film, I just wouldn’t call it very good. I think it’s a nice example of a film that didn’t necessarily do anything wrong (No animal violence, no excessive violence, the script was reasonable, etc) but it doesn’t really stick out. There are films that tackle the same subjects and plots that just handle them a lot better. This movie is the kind of title that makes for a fun experience at the theaters or watching at home the first go around, but there’s not a whole lot to say about it afterwards. You’ll enjoy it, but then move on to the next thing. There’s nothing great about it or super good in general. Still, I would recommend checking it out. Honestly, just being an enjoyable film isn’t such a bad thing. It wouldn’t be the first title I’d check out, but if you just want to watch a nice movie with some action scenes then this will be up your alley.

Overall 6/10

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Young Man with a Horn


It’s time to look at an old movie based on an old novel which is based on a true story from a while ago. Naturally that means this review won’t have a score, but I will still dig into the movie. It’s one of those stories where it’s very hard to sympathize with the main character, at least with how he was depicted in the movie. They really make him an unbearable jerk the whole time and he makes so many wrong choices in a row that you figure he might as well be the villain. All right, lets jump in!

The movie starts off with Rick as a kid. He manages to get into a bar and watches Art play the Trumpet. Rick quickly realizes that this is the best instrument out there and decides to dedicate his life to it. He has a lot of ups and downs as the years go by since he likes to do his own thing. He’d rather play the wrong notes on purpose and get fired rather than do his job. Rick’s a free spirit who loves sabotaging himself. That’s when he finds the ultimate opportunity to do so. He currently has a great job with nice friends Smoke and Jo, as well as a good nightlife where he hangs out with his old friends. This all changes when Amy shows up and convinces Rick to throw it all away for her. She also forewarns him that she will destroy him much like she has destroyed everyone else who decided to have a fling with her. Rick accepts this challenge with a grin…and his life is quickly destroyed.

Whoops, that’s basically the whole film, but it’s hard to summarize that. See, Rick is one of those guys who has a lot of advantages in life. He’s a musical prodigy and he was in the right place at the right time often enough where he got a bunch of gigs. The problem is that he’s incredibly unlikable. He is quick to betray his friends for a girl that he literally just met. He then decides to marry her almost immediately because he has fallen for her so hard. After that he indirectly murders one of his old friends and it’s at this point that he finally realizes how Amy has changed him…and then gets into alcohol and falls further into despair.

Look, the film is trying to give Rick a big character redemption arc, but it’s way too late. I’m not saying that it’s impossible to turn back after murdering someone because such a redemption can happen, but the circumstances leading up to it and Rick’s actions afterwards just don’t work. He doesn’t show me any real signs that he will change. Even before Rick met Amy he had a lot of issues. There’s no reason why he needed to constantly rebel when on the job just so he could play what he wanted to. That’s simply being spoiled and entitled. If Rick had stuck to his job then none of this would have happened.

He also backstabs Art quite a lot in their final meeting. There’s absolutely no gratitude to the guy who saved his life and career many times. By the end when Rick goes to his funeral and picks up the Trumpet you want someone to slap it out of his hands. Imagine how disrespectful it would be for someone to walk up to a funeral and do that. Sure, nobody knows how he was involved in the accident, but it’s still annoying. That’s enough ranting on Rick, but I don’t have any sympathy for him because the guy knew what he was getting into and did it anyway. If you betray everyone for a stranger who loves twisting people, then that’s a choice you made.

Rick’s friends were good at least. As mentioned, Art was definitely solid. He was always around to help Rick whenever possible and really let him get a good start to his musical career. Smoke was a solid sidekick and someone that you could always count on. He’s definitely a solid guy and stuck by Rick the whole time. Jo was a good heroine as well. She’s not the most upfront person out there, but she meant well. One edge Amy has over Jo is that she’s a lot more direct. While it’s customary for the guy to approach the girl, if you really want someone you better make your feelings known or someone else will. Amy made her call while Jo held her tongue and ultimately it cost her. Still, at least Jo didn’t take it all that personally.

It’s a pretty small cast, but at the end of the day it’s not like you need a whole lot more characters than that. The film is able to tell a pretty complete story with just those guys. The writing is pretty solid with a lot of quick dialogue. It’s not quite as eloquent as some other titles, but it has that same atmosphere which is definitely important. The film’s pacing is also pretty good.

Overall, This is a pretty decent film, but one that is held back by Rick quite a lot. He’s just not a good character. He consistently makes the wrong calls and you almost wish all his friends had befriended someone else. They all would have been positive influences on each other. The ending’s a bit sudden so brace yourself for it, but I suppose the ending could have been a lot worse. If you want to see a film with a lot of Jazz music then this is your best bet. Jazz is always a fun style of music. You don’t hear it a whole lot in movies nowadays, but when it shows up it’s always pretty solid.

Our Mother’s House Review


It’s time to look at a relatively old film that you probably haven’t heard of. Be warned though, the main characters are a group of kids so…..that already puts the film in a bit of a sticky situation. I don’t want to say that kids can’t hold their own films…but they can’t hold their own films. It’s definitely a movie that I recommend staying far away from unless you love having a ton of drama thrown at you.

The film starts off with a lot of kids running around a house. The 3 oldest ones are the only ones who seem to be fairly calm, but this changes once the mother finally dies from her illness. Now they have to decide what to do. The main character Elsa decides that they won’t tell anyone and the kids can survive on their own. It’s probably not her best idea, but the kids decide to roll with it. At first things are going well enough, but then some of the kids start letting the power get to their heads and become cruel. Will Elsa simply watch as this all happens?

Part of why this is a really bad film is because there are no likable characters. All of the kids are pretty shady and even the ones who are supposed to be heroic just don’t have the courage to stand up and fight for what’s right. A good example of this is Hubert. He’s one of the oldest kids and usually comes up with the more reasonable ideas, but backs down when it counts. One example of this is when Gerty talks to a stranger and the kids decide to punish her. He just watches as they force her down and cut her hair. Gerty probably could have tried defending herself more, but at that point it becomes more victim blaming then anything else. Keep in mind that she’s one of the younger kids so there really isn’t much she could do. It was up to Hubert or Elsa to protect her and since nobody did anything, they’re all guilty.

You won’t be able to take any of the characters seriously as protagonists by this point, although for most the time had already come and gone anyway. One of the kids is always yelling about how everyone’s going straight to hell and another one hears voices in her head. Elsa is determined to be the best kid out there so she doesn’t have time for the others and Hubert gets pushed around by everyone. Gerty is nice enough, but she should have ditched the other kids and gone straight to the police. It’s at the point where you’re just waiting for the cops to run in and stop them.

Then of course we have the Dad who comes in later on. Naturally he’s not a nice fellow either so don’t expect him to come riding in on a white horse to save the day. He’s just here to add in more drama and the characters are pretty gullible so this works out well for him. The plot twist about the mother also adds in the extra drama. At the end of the day the main problem with the film is that it’s just very mean spirited. There are no real winners here. Everyone is basically corrupt and of course you’ll have a hard time buying the ending where a kid takes on a grown up. Sure, it’s not a full fight as that would be crazy, but even as far as sneak attacks go it just makes the grownup look pretty bad.

There may have been some decent ideas in here, but they were all buried by the film. At the end of the day, you can’t really do a long drama film about a pack of kids. There is only so much that they can do and they’re also just too young. Most of their big appearances are just the kids trying to shout over each other so there isn’t much actual dialogue. It’s really just a contest of who can be the loudest with the most dominating personality. Then you’v also got the really random plot where a kid decides to join the main cast as he ran away from home. I don’t see the point of this plot and it ultimately didn’t add anything to the film. What that tells me is by this point the writers had basically finished the script for the whole movie, but needed something to extend the run time. That works about as well as you would expect.

Overall, Even though this is a pretty old film I can’t say that the writing was all that good. The film never gets particularly engaging and the drama is pretty forced. The characters definitely cry a lot and get pretty emotional, but the dynamic doesn’t work nearly as well as it would if they were full fledged adults. To do a proper remake of this you would need the kids to be around 16-17. That way they’re still minors so the overall plot makes sense (If they’re of legal age then they could just take custody of the house) but this way they’re old enough to actually reason and make some plans. There’s a lot you could do with this plot if you actually try. This one did not though so I recommend changing gears and watching the 90’s Sonic The Hedgehog movie instead.

Overall 1/10

X-Men Dark Phoenix Review


It’s time to look at the newest X-Men film. The trailers for this one were looking pretty sharp from the start so it had the potential to be the best X film. Of course, the films haven’t had the best track record. X-Men The Last Stand was really solid, First Class and X2 were also pretty good, but the original X-Men and Apocalypse were not so good. Still, the Fox universe has basically been buried so they’d want to go out on a good note and I’d say that they did. Not only is this the best X-Men film of them all, but it can hold its head up high against the other big comic book movies out there.

The film starts off with a flashback as Jean gets into an accident with her parents and we see Xavier bring her to his school. We then cut to the present where the X-Men head into space to save some astronauts and Jean Grey absorbs part of the Phoenix Force. Her abilities start to go out of control and once she starts causing a lot of damage the team is forced to decide if they can still save her or if she’s still too far gone. At this point, is she really still Jean Grey or just the malicious Phoenix?

Dark Phoenix doesn’t waste any time in ramping up the tension. (It is called Dark Phoenix for a reason after all) The film’s pacing is quick from the start and builds a very good atmosphere. The soundtrack is stellar here (Jean Grey’s main theme is definitely the best one) and that’s always important. It’s easily a contender for one of the best soundtracks in a CBM. Certainly top 5. Dark Phoenix is a very serious comic film, it’s got the same vibe as the amazing DC titles Batman V Superman, Man of Steel or even the older ones like The Dark Knight. There are a lot of traumatic events for all the characters so there is rarely a time for them to catch their breath.

My favorite scene in the film is the fight between the “Save Jean” and “Destroy Jean” factions. It’s a pretty local level fight as it’s a 4 v 4, but team battles like that are always the best. I also am glad that the fights weren’t ties and there were no cop outs here. One side was clearly beating the other and it was the correct team. One side was simply way more stacked than the other. That was the main fight of the film, but in the climax we also get to see the heroes take on the villain zombies. Those guys can’t really fight back quite as much so it’s more one sided, but I do think the film did a good job of making them more of a threat than the average expendables.

The villains don’t get to appear much in the trailers so I’ll stay vague on who they are and what the goals are. I do think that they were nerfed a bit by the end though. They seem to be able to move your organs and crush your body with a light grasp or even with mental abilities. They seem to forget about this ability by the end of the film, but it would have been a handy way to destroy at least some of the X-Men. Most of the members could be defeated by the villains if you ask me.

Most of the characters look really solid here. Mystique has really grown into her role as the X-Men leader. While I was on Xavier’s side with the rocket decision over hers, I am glad that Mystique is always looking after the team. She sees the big picture more than the others do. Cyclops is definitely really good here as well. He’s still a teenager as opposed to being the X-Men leader like in the old films, but he never doubts Jean for a second. He’s on her side from start to finish and that kind of devotion is definitely accurate to his character. His optical blasts are also given a lot of respect here and he doesn’t hold back at all when attacking.

Unfortunately Storm doesn’t look very good here. I do think they did her personality justice here as she is a lot more aggressive and eager to fight. The problem is that she is portrayed as being pretty weak to be honest. She loses most of her fights and seems to let her guard down. I’d like her to look stronger in future appearances. Nightcrawler is a reasonable character, I just never liked him much. He doesn’t seem very proactive compared to the others although he does finally get a homage to his knife combo scene from the old films.

Beast has a pretty big role here. He definitely takes the early events hard and makes a controversial move to make things right. I don’t think anyone would claim that he’s making the heroic move here and even he knows that. Still, considering what happened you can definitely see why he’s making the choice. I find him to be pretty weak though and he rarely does a whole lot of damage. Quicksilver only appears for a few minutes tops here as the writers were probably scared that he would end the whole film in a minute. Unfortunately even then there is at least one time where he could have saved the team but didn’t. This is the problem with making a character so overwhelmingly powerful.

Jean Grey is the lead so lets talk about her for a second. Naturally she’s fighting with the Phoenix the whole time so she’s not always in her right state of mind. She tends to be a little oversensitive to everything so everybody triggers her. She can go into murder mode at the drop of a hat. It helps add more nuance to which side you’ll end up choosing. All in all, I thought she looked pretty good though. She may have been a bit gullible during some of the scenes and trusting villain groups is rarely a good choice. Still, I think the film did a good job with handling her as a villain here.

The star of the movie as always is Magneto. He’s been a really great character during the trilogy and he steals all of the scenes here. While he is not as powerful as the Phoenix I dare say that he is the second strongest mutant at this point. He’s the only one who can actually fight back compared to the others. He’s had a very complete character arc by this point and while he is drawn back into the battle, it’s nice that he had finally found peace. The fact that this is the third movie does help quite a bit since by now all of the characters are established so it’s easy for us to understand all of the character motivations.

Xavier is another big character of course. He definitely makes some key mistakes in the film. Xavier is definitely still one of the good guys from start to finish, but his problem is that he just doesn’t see any of his mistakes. He seems to think that he’s always on the right side. It’s a good quality to have as a leader since you have to believe that your cause is just, but part of the blame here can definitely be thrown over to him. Still, at the end of the day he does what he can to remedy the situation. He does feel a lot weaker here though as other telepaths can hold their own against him. He’s definitely not the Omega level mutant you might have thought he was.

I think some characters who may be overlooked, but shouldn’t be are Magneto’s teammates. I actually really liked both of them even though we never even get to know their names. One of them can fight with his hair and from how he was wrecking one of the X-Men members he is a considerable threat. The guy’s super loyal and was always quick to get into battle. The other is a telepath who was holding her own against Xavier and even causing him to back up. Their back and forth battle of wits was really solid and she was one of the best characters in the film. I’d put her second only to Magneto. I don’t have many qualms with the film, but one of them is that these characters get the shaft. I don’t think their endings were deserved and they should have done more. They were loyal followers to Magneto and the fact that he has given mutants a place to live really makes it a powerful moment. These guys are ready to put their lives on the line for Magneto because he has finally helped the mutants out once and for all. I’d argue that he’s made a safer existence for mutants than Xavier ever did.

The ending of the film is incredibly forced though and doesn’t really make any sense. There’s not a whole lot I can say about it since I don’t even want to spoil any part of it, but it really only happens for drama. It’s the kind of ending that you’d expect and so the film delivers on it, but there’s no narrative reason why it had to happen. The character could have chosen any other option and it would have worked rather than this desperate move. The other paths would have also made for a more entertaining ending. An ending is important, but it’s not like it’s horrible either. The final part of the final scene at least salvages what it can.

Part of why the film is good is naturally the writing. A dynamite soundtrack and excellent special effects go a long way, but at the end of the day you need solid writing to keep the film operating at a high level. This film probably has the best script that I’ve seen since Batman V Superman. (Infinity War also deserves a nod although it’s a very different kind of script) You’ll be engaged right away. They do squeeze in the Fox trope of adding one F word of course which is annoying as always. The film mirrors the X-Men comics to the extent that there is a lot going on at all times. There are many plots and characters in the mix and they’re all being affected by the events in the movie. You’ve got some symbolic imagery like Magneto putting his helmet back on to return to the darkness and Xavier taking his off as he decides to go back to acting as a friend to the others rather than as a commander. The characters are all acting on pure emotion by the end so it’s easy to pick any individual character and root for him/her. It’s a very thought provoking film that also includes a lot of action so you don’t have to worry about choosing one or the other.

It’s always hard to do a very serious film without getting super dark and gritty so I’m always impressed when it happens. It’s part of why I’m going to miss Fox, they really did add a nice element to the mix. For a while we had a solid balance with DC giving us supreme movies with the best action scenes and scripts, Marvel with the most comic book accurate movies and a light hearted tone like the days of ole, and then Fox which was a very realistic take on how humans would interact with super powered fighters. DC has gone away from their approach to follow Marvel and Fox is all but over after this one. Now the only company who will still be doing their own thing is Sony which does carry part of that Fox feel within, but I can’t say that I trust them as much as I would the others. Granted, Fox churns out a lot of misses too so you just gotta keep swinging til you connect. At least now we can finally have the Avengers vs X-Men film someday although I don’t imagine something like that would happen til 2025 or later.

All in all, this is the big finale that fans of the X-Men series have been waiting for. It’s the definitive X-Men film and it’s going to be really hard to top this one. The only thing that would have made it feel even more like a finale would have been for Wolverine to have shown up for the final fights. We probably won’t be seeing any X-Men films for a very long time as I doubt anyone would even want to try and follow up on this so soon. All series have to end at some point and the goal is to end on a high note. Dark Phoenix does that and then some. It basically excels in all areas and has a lot of replay value. If you haven’t seen the film yet then I’d recommend heading out to the theaters and checking it out. You probably won’t be seeing another one like this for quite some time.

Overall 8/10

Poseidon (2006) Review


It’s time to look at the remake to the original Poseidon film. It’s a pretty faithful remake although it does take its own twists and turns. The basic plot and resolution are unchanged, but the movie takes some liberties with the characters. I’m always up for that since a word for word remake doesn’t have a whole lot of point if you ask me. We’ve already seen it once so throw in a few wrinkles if you’re gonna do it again.

The film starts off with all of the characters getting on the Poseidon boat. They are looking forward to a nice relaxing cruise. All of the characters are here for different reasons. Some are literally along for the ride while others are here for the excitement. One guy even came here to die. Well, all of their plans go haywire when the boar is struck by a powerful wave and goes upside down. While most of the people on the ship decide to stay in the lobby since the pilot thinks they’ll be okay, Dylan has other ideas. He aims to get off the boat right away by going to the bottom which is now on top. Robert decides to follow him because his daughter is trapped in one of the rooms up ahead. There are 2 main plots here since half of the main characters are trapped and the others are trying to get to him.

With ensemble casts the main thing the film has to get right at all costs is making the characters good. Fortunately this one is able to pull that off. I won’t say that I liked all of the characters, but it was definitely a strong cast. We also get a good amount of time to each plot and the film manages to keep up the tension the whole way through. The length is basically perfect as it doesn’t end too soon nor does it drag on. I dare say that the writing may have even been better than the original’s. I definitely did enjoy it more than the first although it is pretty close. I just think this one was able to take advantage of the modern effects more which really helps for a local disaster film like this one.

Seeing the wave hit the ship is just handled really well. In general the rooms of the ship all look very realistic and the explosions are handled well. You can tell that no expense was spared on this film. I’m also glad that nobody randomly brought a pet on board as that would have hurt the immersion. The film also doesn’t really dwell on the violent scenes here. There are a ton of fatalities of course since almost everyone dies but while you see the bodies and such it is never too gruesome. The film focuses on the story and getting the characters through this.

Robert is the main character if you ask me although it’s meant to be pretty debatable. He’s a solid lead and I was definitely on his side with the Jennifer debates. While he might prefer to take the cautious route he definitely does whatever it takes to find her once Jennifer goes missing. Robert’s a very intelligent character who makes the right moves and is a natural leader. Without him the group would have definitely been in trouble. Then you’ve got Dylan who is the other side of the coin. He’s quick to think of plans and is physically able to get things done that the other characters would not be able to do. Robert’s the one who convinces the others to jump on board while Dylan thinks of the plans first. He is able to look at everything objectively and Dylan was definitely my favorite character. His character was just handled perfectly.

From the side characters Jennifer and Christian were definitely a lot weaker than the others. It was pretty insensitive of them to be constantly flirting when Robert was just trying to get a few days to relax. Jennifer was also wearing rather risque attire just to mess with him. (Well in her defense it seems like she was oblivious, but considering how quickly it happens after the last scene it’s hard to take seriously) Christian doesn’t really get anything to do. It is pretty impressive that he was able to swim so well after being pinned under a bunch of debris for so long though.

Richard is the old man of the group and he came close to jumping overboard near the beginning. This disaster helps him learn to keep on fighting, but what may hurt how much you like him as a character is when he sends someone else off to their doom. Keep in mind that Dylan was encouraging him, but ultimately Richard is the one who made the choice to kick the guy off. Since that chef was the one who suggested Richard go first it was a really big betrayal. He never saved himself from that.

Elena started out real good, but started sinking later on. Elena snuck on board the ship, but is one of the first to try and help once Christian is pinned down. She seemed like a really nice character and definitely was a good supporting one although she also had a tendency to get scared a lot and did nearly cause the team to die on several occasions. Maggie is solid as well but is more consistent and does a good job of hanging in there even while her son is constantly messing up. Conor is definitely pretty terrible imo, but the kids rarely end up ranking for me. They just hold everyone back and running out on everyone near the climax was extremely foolish.

Then you’ve got Lucky Larry who I guess was a slight homage to the Texan from the first film. Either way Larry looks really bad here. He just shows up to taunt the heroes quite a lot and then dies as soon as you would expect. If anything he’s just here for some grim humor although I’d say he was handled well. There’s almost no way you’ll like the character, but that’s basically the point. He’s no hero and he’s not going to get any noteworthy scenes. He’s just here to cause trouble and slow everyone down.

Overall, Poseidon is definitely a fun film. It’s the kind of fast paced disaster film that really holds up well. There’s a lot of replay value here since the scenes don’t drag and something is always happening. Even from a pure visual perspective I’m sure there is a lot here to re-watch. If you haven’t seen this film yet then I recommend checking it out. As long as you like a good action title or just enjoy a solid ensemble film then you’ll like this one. Naturally it’s the kind of film where not everyone survives so you can also try and make some predictions on who will make it.

Overall 7/10

The Glass Bottom Boat Review


It’s time to look at an old spy parody that you may or may not have heard of from back in the day. It’s a pretty fun movie although perhaps one that goes a bit far with the romance at times. It’s pretty crucial to the plot of course, but none of the characters look particularly great by the time this is all over. It just goes to show that when spies are involved everyone tends to get a little crazy. America wasn’t ready for this subtle Russian invasion.

The plot starts with Jennifer acting as a mermaid in what should have been a normal day at work until she is accidentally reeled in my local fisherman Bruce. See, Bruce is a rich CEO inventor by day and a casual fisherman on the weekends. They don’t get off to the best of starts here, but they see each other again during their real jobs and they hit it off. Jennifer is glad to be a part of the office, but unfortunately some of Bruce’s co-workers seem to think that she is a Russian spy who is here to take his invention. Even Bruce starts to entertain this thought. Jennifer will have to decide how she plays this and meanwhile the real spy is still out there and getting ready to make his move.

Naturally with such a convoluted plot there’s a lot of good potential here. I do tend to like the parody genre. With such a large array of jokes at the ready sometimes they may fall off the deep end, but usually the films will at least be very entertaining even if they don’t end up getting a really high score. That’s the idea at the very least and I’d say this one succeeds with that as well. There are a lot of good humorous scenes throughout the movie. It’s very long so that gives the plot time to change over and over again. At first it’s a classic slice of life romance turned comedy and then by the end it’s a full spy operation with some fight scenes. It’s never all that serious of course, but the stakes do gradually get higher and higher. The film has changed quite a bit by the end from where it started.

Naturally most of the gags that involve the romance are the weaker ones. Jennifer is extremely oblivious to the point where she makes some big mistakes near the beginning. One of them involves getting intimate with the wrong person for quite a while before she notices. That’s….pretty iffy and if anything Bruce should take that personally since she somehow didn’t realize that it was him. Then you’ve got all of the American generals and army officers falling head over heels for her which is pretty iffy. It goes to show that none of them ever had the strength of will that you would hope they have. Maybe Russia really would win the Cold War based on this film. Their agent was certainly a lot more impressive than the US ones.

There’s a lot of slapstick humor here, but it’s all handled pretty well. The scene of Jennifer and the electrician getting stuck was pretty intense. Certainly not realistic in the slightest of course, but that kind of absurd humor can definitely work pretty well. It’s like Tom and Jerry to an extent. Whatever the heroes would do only kept on making the situation worse and worse for both of them. Then you’ve got the personal robot who does too good a job of making the place clean. Throwing in that sci-fi angle was pretty fun.

As far as the characters are concerned, I think your mileage will vary. Jennifer means well, but she definitely is a bit too oblivious. Once she finds out about the spy stuff her plan was pretty reasonable. Might as well humiliate everyone involved right? If she was a few steps quicker she would have really gotten out of the whole situation without anyone being any the wiser. Inevitably they would find out, but not until it was too late. Usually Jennifer ends up losing her meetings with Bruce as I’d say it was more embarrassing for her, but she always kept up a straight face so that’s good.

Bruce is pretty good in that he kept believing in Jennifer the whole time. He had his small momentary doubts, but for the most part he kept taking her side even when everyone else was against her. That being said, the romance did happen awful fast and I wouldn’t really say it worked well. There’s nothing really wrong with Bruce, he’s fairly generic, but a good character all around. Then you’ve got Axel who is Jennifer’s dad. He doesn’t get a particularly big role, but the scenes that he does get are definitely solid. Seeing him take down multiple agents was pretty intense.

Then you’ve got Homer who is the chief of police. For the most part he was a great character although even he fell for Jennifer’s charms by the end. Too bad since before that he was on point. Sure, he ended up being wrong, but at the same time he really did his due diligence. You almost can’t blame him for coming to that conclusion since all of the evidence pointed to it. It just so happened that he was seriously at the wrong place at the wrong time. It happens to the best of us. He was way better than the American general after all, that guy cracked fast.

Overall, Glass Bottom Boat is definitely a pretty fun film. The humor can get pretty crazy and wacky but all in all it’s a quality experience. A lot of the early gags end up playing a role later and small references become important by the end as well. It’s just a very well thought out movie. It’s a long parody to be sure, but it’s one that has time to do everything it wanted to accomplish. There are quite a few characters here and we also do get a real climax. By the end Jennifer and her dog are running away from real villains and there are some good stakes here. These villains don’t take prisoners after all so if the heroine doesn’t run she would be in trouble. Especially since the US officers are taking their sweet time. I definitely recommend watching this film if you haven’t seen it yet. You don’t really see too many big parodies anymore so you really want to check out as many of the classics as you can.

Overall 6/10

Flash Gordon Review


It’s time to look at the legendary Flash Gordon movie. This is definitely a retro sci-fi film that pretty much everyone has heard of at this point. It’s definitely a pretty good movie that’s aged pretty well. Despite the film mainly having a light tone some parts do get pretty dark which is that rare back and forth you don’t see as much nowadays. I’m definitely cool with that, but basically Flash Gordon really gets around and tackles the sci-fi genre from all sides.

The film starts with Flash and Dale on a flight. Unfortunately their plane goes down thanks to some fire hail and a weird storm that came out of nowhere. They meet up with a crazy scientist named Zarkov and he forces them into a ship with him as the 3 head towards the planet of the invading alien race. The guy definitely is crazy and a villain as he forced them in, but I suppose at the very least you do have to give him some props for actually being right here. It all was an invasion and all those years he was right for worrying about it. No excuse though. Now these 3 unlikely heroes have to save the world or die trying!

Flash is definitely a fun hero. He’s basically the classic lead you would expect from a classic action film. He may not have any professional experience, but he’s got natural leadership skills and is quick on his feet. The scene of him using football skills to take on the villains was definitely pretty fun. The guy’s confident and also nice to a fault. If anything you may get frustrated with how forgiving he can be at times, but that’s just how he rolls. Flash is here to save everyone and he’s quick to put his life on the line to help his friends and even total strangers.

Then we’ve got the heroine Dale. She’s also got a strict moral code that she lives by which she refuses to break. I do like when heroes have an honor code and the same goes for villains, but at the same time I do think she put herself in a pretty bad spot right from the start. Why promise the villain that you won’t try anything if you know that he’s gonna break his promise? Not going through with the poison plan was a bit iffy. Still, I guess Dale was a good character.

Then you’ve got Zarkov. He’s pretty strong willed and certainly has the deepest voice of the cast. That makes his scenes pretty fun even if the character himself can’t quite keep up with the rest. You can’t really forget that everyone’s in trouble because of him. He also is directly responsible for Flash losing round 1 so if he hadn’t made that mistake the heroes may have won a whole lot sooner than they did.

Next up is Aura who is the daughter of the main villain. Unlike Ming, she isn’t pure evil though. It may not be accurate to call her a pure hero at first as she saves Flash for her own reasons, but at the very least she doesn’t like his cruel methods. She definitely suffers the most from all the characters though and you’ll feel pretty bad for her during the various scenes. Her moments are the only parts where the film does tend to get pretty dark. Considering how much work she did to help the heroes I would have liked for her to have had a bit of a happier route. The torture scene was particularly brutal.

The villains definitely aren’t quite as solid as the villains. You’ve got Klytus who is Ming’s right hand man. He just wants to be with Aura though so that doesn’t make for the greatest villain motivation. He’s just petty and you can’t root for a villain like that. Then you’ve got Barin who likes tricking Klytus and not following his orders. This makes him look even worse to be honest. She’s not bad, but doesn’t really have much of a role next to the others.

Ming is the main villain and he’s one of those classic spoiled kings who can’t really fight much. He has a pretty OP ring which helps him fight a bit, but beyond that he is dependent on his allies. Considering that all of his allies are constantly looking for an excuse to betray him the guy can’t rest easy. In particular there are 2 generals who are always rebellious. First is Kala who doesn’t like Ming, but he’s too scared to do anything. He spends most of the film trying to destroy Flash and grumbling a lot before finally being forced on board. Likewise for Vultan who talks a big game but is too scared of Ming to do anything.

Actually maybe I should take that back because all of the villains in this film seem to be cowards. They probably wouldn’t even try betraying Ming if there was any chance of them getting caught. No wonder he enjoyed such a long stint as the leader. Good thing Flash came when he did eh?

The special effects have definitely aged pretty well. The space battles are a lot of fun and it feels like a scene from Star Wars. The music here is definitely pretty fun. The classic Flash song definitely pops up a lot and the timing is pretty solid. At one point the heroine asks rhetorically who could possible save them and then the song starts with the lyric “FLASH!!!” as he shows up in a meanwhile scene. The song loves to keep on repeating that lyric in particular so expect to hear it quite a lot as the film goes on.

In general the writing is pretty solid here as well. The character cast may not be amazing for the most part, but Flash and Aura are really all you need. The film’s pacing is pretty quick. It’s a long movie, but it doesn’t drag on. The romance may not be particularly solid, but it doesn’t play a big role in the film. It’s just kind of there to check off the box.

The film does end with a pretty cool cliffhanger as well. I imagine it probably won’t ever be resolved, but it was still neat to see. I think a nostalgia sequel could actually do pretty good so the film companies should definitely think about it. It may be hard to get a scene quite as cool as Flash using Football to take down the villains, but it’s worth the attempt.

Overall, Flash Gordon is a pretty good sci-fi film that holds up well. Any character who isn’t Flash will probably annoy you at times, but he puts them in their place. The film’s light, but can get a bit violent at times like in Flash’s spike battle. It’s really a film that can change elements at any given time which is pretty cool. If you haven’t seen this film yet then I would recommend checking it out. Just remember that Aura could have left at any time, but chose to be a hero and paid the price. She proved her heroism more than any other character except for Flash.

Overall 6/10

Godzilla King of The Monsters Review


All right team it’s time to look at the latest Godzilla film. With the increased amount of Kaiju action it was certain to beat the last one right? It’s definitely a lot more fun and doesn’t take itself as seriously as the 2014 installment. Rather than go for the slow burner approach this one throws us into the action and the plot is always moving. It definitely has some issues including an incredibly forced scene, but on the whole it’s a movie that stands tall.

The film takes place 5 years after the last one. Godzilla has vanished so naturally humanity is back to being uncivil and generally petty as always. They call in MONARCH and threaten to disband the group. The government believes that all of the Kaiju should be destroyed and also that MONARCH should be under government authority. The latter is admittedly valid as we know what happens when private corporations run around with completely unchecked power. This shady company also doesn’t make any reasonable arguments as to why they should stay private. They deflect all of the questions and put up smoke screens at every opportunity. If you didn’t know better you would be forgiven for thinking that these are the villains. Still, they are forced to leave the meeting early because all of the Kaiju across the world are waking up. King Ghidorah is ready to lead a wave of terror and unless Godzilla stops him…Earth is finished!

As for the human plot, there are a few core characters running around. Madison is currently going through a bit of a tough time as her parents aren’t getting along. Mark has decided to basically watch wolves all day and rest at home while Emma blames the humans for her kid dying a while back and wants to help cause anarchy on the planet. Madison will have to find where her loyalties lie because lives will depend on her actions. It’s a lot of responsibility for a kid, but hopefully she is ready for it.

So, from the 3 main characters Mark is definitely the best one. He really didn’t want to get involved, but once he does the guy doesn’t grumble about it nearly as much as most leads would. He just gets on task and sees to it that the work gets done. He’s a lot smarter than the rest of the crew despite not being an actual agent and always gets to Madison when she is in trouble. There’s not a whole lot more that he could realistically do and he really handled all of the situations well. I would consider him to be an improvement over the lead from the last film. He can be sarcastic and throws in a lot of tough lines to the others, but like the audience he’s probably just frustrated with how inept MONARCH can be.

Emma definitely isn’t a good character though. She doesn’t make for a good antagonist and it’s far too late to feel bad for her during her emotional moments later on as well. Even the other villains comment on how she is so weak willed to even want to abandon the plan at this late stage. Madison is definitely a better character although I can’t say she’s really a stand out either. She’s a bit slow on the ball although I will give her some due credit for ultimately making the right decision. Better late than never as they say. The rest of the characters are pretty reasonable. The human villain is solid and the rest of the crew aren’t bad. They’re around a lot even if they don’t get a lot to do. They at least contribute when it counts. I think that’s enough on the humans though, lets talk about the bulk of why you’re watching this movie.

The monster fights are definitely on point. The action scenes look really good and the special effects have never been better. The various fire effects like for Rodan looked pretty good. The energy attacks are definitely really good and we got a lot of nice backdrops. The soundtrack is also solid with some good remixes as well as new themes. There are a lot of big hype moments that the soundtrack helps to make even better. You’ll definitely know which scenes you’re meant to cheer for.

Godzilla is definitely a solid lead as always. He’s definitely Earth’s defender even if the humans do love stabbing him in the back. He definitely isn’t quite as strong as Ghidorah one on one as the only time he seemed to have the edge was in the ocean fight. Otherwise he was taking a lot of Ls here, but you could tell that anyone else would have been doomed against him. I would have liked to have seen Godzilla use more of his tricks like in the 2014 film with his back lasers, but I suppose there weren’t too many times where this would have been helpful. (It would have made it more difficult for Ghidorah to fly him though)***It was brought to my attention by local G Expert KaijuDestroyer that the back lasers were from the Shin Godzilla and not 2014 so I will have to retract that

Then Ghidorah is naturally a really great opponent as well. He’s always been one of Godzilla’s most iconic villains for good reason. I also like how the 3 heads each had a personality which was cool and Ghidorah even has some accelerated healing. I don’t think there are any real faults to be found with this Kaiju. He really translated well to the new film and is properly portrayed as one of the strongest Kaiju out there. (He’s lucky that Mecha Godzilla wasn’t around though)

However, Godzilla and Ghidorah’s hype does come at the expense of the other Kaiju. There are 17 confirmed Kaiju currently roaming the planet but these two are the only Alpha Kaiju. (Kong may be a 3rd one. The film kept it vague but this would make sense) As a result, the others are all second stringers who simply wait to see who will win and follow the leader. The Kaiju have no agency or free will of their own. Rodan looks really cool for his intro, but once he realizes that he is outclassed he literally bows before the other Kaiju. Longtime Rodan fans will remember that he bows to no opponent. Rodan may not be a hero like Godzilla, but at the end of the day he always follows his own tempo. He’ll aid Godzilla or fight against him, but he’s never a simple lackey. Unfortunately this film reduces him to that and he really looks terrible here.

To an extent all of the other Kaiju besides Mothra look bad. Mothra gets her due credit as a loyal ally to Godzilla and she fights til the end. Mothra’s always been a cool fighter and while her power level doesn’t seem all that high here she does have her crucial moments. The other Kaiju are just here as cameos and it was cool to see them of course, but they don’t get to do much except make sure to let Godzilla and Ghidorah know that they aren’t a threat. I’m thinking Kong’s going to take all of these posers down and that’s when Godzilla’s going to have to step in. Once Godzilla beats Kong in the opening 20 minutes then the film will really start.

Now lets talk about the film’s weak points. One is a scene where we get some animal violence as a few wolves tear into some kind of animal. I forget which one it was, but the scene was pretty vicious and completely out of nowhere. There’s no point to the scene. I’m sure the official reason for including it was to show the animal cycle as an allegory to the Kaiju, but there’s no real reason for it to be here. I feel like films love to shoot themselves in the foot nowadays and that definitely took a star off the film. Then we’ve also got a weak script. I don’t mind the more comedic tone of the film or the puns. I can definitely live with those and even if the jokes don’t land they aren’t that bad. The film does throw in quite a bit of language though. Literally in Madison’s first scene she says the s word at least 6-7 times and of course they had to throw in the one intense word that they are allowed to use nowadays. The writing for the characters made them all feel a lot more juvenile than needed and while it may be more “realistic” it just makes me miss the old 50s films even more.

I’m also not sure about how easily manipulated the Kaiju are. This may be inevitable as the more Godzilla films come out, the more technology we have at our disposal so beating Kaiju gets easier and easier. The Orca is a big device in the film which can scare all Kaiju who aren’t Ghidorah and Godzilla or antagonize them into a fight. It’s done by using sound waves and you can see how this is a problem. If MONARCH can just mess with the Kaiju like this then it undermines their threat. Even Ghidorah gets completely sidetracked when they use the device as the Kaiju don’t seem to have much of a mind. They really do seem to be mindless monsters to an extent or just completely like an animal instead of a creature. Godzilla has a lot of personality but the others are all lacking a bit. The government also shows that aside from Ghidorah they could easily take down the rest of the Kaiju so…..the Kaiju need a power up. It’s a bit worrisome when the Kaiju are the underdogs.

Of course there is an after credits scene so you’ll want to check that one out. It’s a pretty solid scene, I admit that I would have handled it a bit differently, but it does properly set up the next movie. This opponent also makes perfect sense since taking on Godzilla and Kong would require an incredible adversary. It’ll be fun to see how it plays out since a 2 v 1 Kaiju battle should be really cool. I wonder if the film will turn it into a 2 v 2 though and throw in another villain. That’d be pretty neat.

There’s one odd part of the film that probably wasn’t needed, but I suppose it expands the mythos. We find out about the original days of Godzilla and basically another Earth. Based on the statues it looks like a lot of little Godzillas used to rule the world or the humans did completely worship him and erected statues everywhere. The cavemen were a lot more advanced than I would have thought. It’s just pretty random though and I dare say that the paintings are awfully convenient. People already knew that Kong and Godzilla would fight millions of years ago? Likewise, Godzilla and Ghidorah fought in the past before both getting sealed away for millions of years? The film maybe tries to get too deep here, but it’s not really a bad thing. It just felt like it came out of nowhere.

It may be too late to save Rodan’s reputation, but if they really do introduce Orga in the next film I better not see him bowing to anybody. Orga would whup Ghidorah with minimal effort and then take down Godzilla. He’s one of the only wrestling Godzilla fighters and his very presence demands respect. Now, where would I rank this Godzilla film? It’s fairly low as it beats the 1954 film, Return of Godzilla, the 2014 Godzilla (Well, it’s more fun even if it has a lower score) and the 1998 one, but loses to most of the core Godzilla titles. I don’t think the film will ultimately have a ton of replay value due to the long build ups for each hype moment and the human drama, but it’s definitely one that will always be fun as long as you give it some space.

I didn’t mind the human stuff really. Madison and Emma were annoying but the rest of the characters were good. We didn’t get any rushed romance scenes, super dragged out jokes, or overly long scenes of the heroes getting super emotional. There is maybe a little more crying than needed here, but nothing super serious. If there’s any annoying scene that will get you on the second watch it will be the government agents storming a villain base and being completely unprepared. In this situation if you see someone raising a gun you should probably fire. I’m just saying.

Overall, This was a pretty good film. With a better script and getting rid of one scene it would have been that much better. Alas, we’ll have to live with those things, but I think G fans will not be disappointed. It was a long wait, but the movie definitely has a lot more things that it did right than what went wrong. I do think that Godzilla vs Kong is going to beat this one, but I definitely still recommend watching this film. It’s got solid action scenes and it’ll remind you why Godzilla is such a national icon. You just can’t do much better than seeing the King of the Kaiju right? Godzilla will always stand strong.

Overall 6/10

Billy The Kid vs Dracula Review


It’s time to look at a really old crossover. It’s definitely not a pairing that you would expect. I’d say that it works pretty well, but as expected Dracula does drag Billy down quite a bit. It’s just hard to make a good film involving a vampire and this one really seals the deal there. The film was so close to at least avoiding the animal violence curse, but it couldn’t help itself. It’s not too surprising since Dracula always goes after the livestock, but it hurts the experience all the same. The character cast isn’t the strongest either.

The film starts off with Dracula showing up and murdering a lady who forgot to open her hand to show off the cross. He then catches a break when Betty’s uncle dies and assumes his identity. He has decided to make Betty his bride and starts preparing this devious plan. Fortunately for Betty she has a friend known as Billy The Kid. He used to be an infamous outlaw, but now he works for the common good. The mother of one of the victims is named Eva and she warns Billy that the uncle is actually Dracula. Billy tries to convince Betty of this, but she won’t hear it. How could her uncle…who she has never seen before, actually be a bad guy? She trusts him implicitly and even allows him to talk tough to her maid. (Eva quickly got a position as a maid) As Betty is a pushover Dracula only needs to worry about Billy now. What can a gun kid do against the king of vampires though?

This film definitely does has its share of fun moments so that does help it surpass the usual Dracula fare. For starters, Billy is a fun character even if he is a little too timid and tends to beat around the bush. Once he had a good feeling that the uncle was evil he should have done more about it. Why give Betty the dangerous mission of constantly antagonizing Dracula if Billy really thinks that he wants to do her harm. Wouldn’t it be safer to go after Dracula himself? Also, Billy’s real confident which is good, but he does not have the skills to back this up.

When he fights with the bully he actually gets completely defeated. I have to admit that I was actually pretty shocked by this. It’s just super rare for the lead to just get owned like that. Then even after the doctor was right about literally everything he decides not to believe her when she says that bullets won’t work on Dracula. This leads to another really embarassing moment for the lead as he goes into Dracula’s lair and gets owned. I like really confident leads of course, but you just can’t afford to be getting wrecked like that.

It does lead to a very interesting scene where we find out that Dracula may be immune to bullets but not to the actual gun. Yeah…this doesn’t make any sense but we can roll with it. Dracula gets completely laid out by the hit to the point where he can’t react when Billy puts a stake through him. Ah well, I’d hold it against Dracula more, but this version of him wasn’t all that imposing anyway. Lets put it this way, multiple characters actively work to sabotage him and he never even murders them. I’m glad for Eva and her husband of course, but why wouldn’t Dracula murder them? They kept laying traps (Okay..not “they” the guy did absolutely nothing in the whole film) for him and telling Betty that he was evil. Taking them out is basically villain 101.

Also, Dracula’s hypnosis is at least one power that he’s still got. You’d think that it would be super effective but Betty is actually able to counter it. At one point when they are in the carriage he makes the face and stares at Betty. It is working for a few seconds until she blinks (Finally, someone realized the trick to stopping him!) and suddenly is back to her senses. You’ll have a hard time finding a weaker Dracula than this one. He has teleportation, but never uses it well and even his super strength feels pretty meager compared to usual. When he gets Billy in the choke hold it takes a while to defeat him. I also wonder what the point of the bat outside was since when Dracula died he turned into a mummy anyway and then the bat died outside. Hmmm.

As I’ve hinted, I didn’t like Betty though. You’d think that she would trust her fiance…who she planned to marry in a few days more than a random uncle that she has never seen before right? The fact that Dracula has any say in her household is beyond crazy. Then he literally puts her under house arrest later on. Betty never actually looks out for herself and comes across as unreasonable. I don’t care how far fetched the story is, you’d think that she would believe Billy. Of course, maybe Billy has gotten beat so many times she doesn’t take him seriously anymore. You’d think hat this infamous outlaw would have looked better here.

It’s rare for both characters to look bad in a crossover but that’s where we’re at. The film’s fun, but it does still have the vampire elements looming over it which hurts. The animal violence scene with the lamb comes to mind as I mentioned earlier and blood sucking scenes also tend to hurt of course. Because of that, it’s unlikely that I’ll see another Dracula film that I actually like, but of course I’ll leave the possibility open. The writing in the film was pretty solid for the most part. The characters may make all of the wrong choices, but that just means they weren’t the smartest characters. Even the sheriff seems pretty iffy as he arrests Billy for self defense. You just know that he wouldn’t have messed with the bully if the roles were flipped.

Overall, This film may have not been a total success, but I really love the concept. This is the kind of film that you just don’t see much anymore which is a shame. Taking two popular icons like this and pushing them together is genius. It’s a fun way to get started with the Billy mythos and I’d be down with watching more of his films. The one gun scene that we did get was pretty fun and the wild west outlaw plot can always work pretty well despite the boring backdrops. If you really like both franchises then this is a film that you’ll want to check out. If you’re also not a big vampire fan then I guess you’ll just want to wait til Billy’s in a different kind of crossover film.

Overall 4/10

Replicas Review


It’s time to look at a film that I really only knew of because everyone was constantly taking shots at it. I’m used to amazing films getting bad reviews so that’s not necessarily a bad thing, but on the other hand there are numerous films that are panned for good reason. You never know what it’s going to be like until you watch it. Replicas is definitely not a great film, but I wouldn’t call it terrible either. Yes, there are big plot holes and the characters can be weak, but at the same time the film avoids making “the big mistake.” It does have any soul destroying moments like some films tend to have so that’s good….right?

The film starts off with William having some trouble trying to set up his A.I. robot. He’s been trying to load a human consciousness into one, but they all reject the body and go away. The whole company is going to be shut down if he doesn’t get results soon so William decides to go on a vacation with his family. While his wife Mona tells him to slow down William has no time for such luxuries and speeds down a pitch black highway during a casual hurricane. Naturally he crashes in the water and his family all die. No worries though, William’s co-worker Ed has been cloning animals for years and cloning people is basically the same thing. They clone the family except for William’s youngest daughter since they ran out of tubes. William erases her memories from everyone else since the brain is really just one big computer chip and life goes on.

Unfortunately the numerous problems with this plan start to surface as people who have a real brain and aren’t clones remember that William used to have a daughter and wonder why nobody else remembers her. Then you’ve also got the fact that William’s company is actually an evil terrorist group who wants to use the clones to conquer the world. William’s gonna have to use his A.I. program to stop them, but as he does this he’ll have to wonder why he spent so many years working on a dead-end A.I. project when he could have been cloning people for big profits all this time.

Look…I know this film has dozens and dozens of plot holes and irrational character choices, but another way to look at it is that you’ve just got the least intelligent cast of characters out there. Look at it through that lens and then you’ll be fine. There are hundreds of ways that William could have handled the situation better. He could have actually told the family a lie that would hold up rather than counting on them to not notice that almost 3 weeks have passed. He could have remembered that they all had lives and let people know so it wouldn’t appear that they vanished. He….could have slowed down in the storm, etc. Keep in mind though that he’s a crazed genius who couldn’t make a robot. He spends the first half of the film refusing to make any choices so Ed has to do everything. He’s just not ready for this madness.

There’s less excuse for Jones and his gang though. There’s one scene where they’re chasing the heroes and the heroes run into a hospital to remove the GPS trackers in their body. Mona works at the hospital so at least it is believable that she would know how to do this. However the villains follow them in through the back but don’t bother going to the front to block the exit? They don’t even bother breaking the car so the heroes can’t drive away. None of it makes any sense. Then they have 0 reaction times when the robot appears. I’d also argue that William has no reason to show Jones mercy and make him rich by the end. Why? Why do this?

Ed’s a reasonable friend, but the kind of guy you ultimately can’t trust. He’ll help you out of course, but when the chips are down he falls like a log. He did almost all of the work so either way William would have been doomed without him I suppose. Mona is actually pretty smart compared to the other characters even if I’m not sure how much that means anything next to these guys. She notices that something is wrong and once she figures out the deception she rolls with it as best she can. Mona doesn’t freeze up or anything which is always crucial in high pressure situations. I get the feeling that she would have handled this better than William in general.

The special effects for the robot are pretty bad, but beyond that I thought the visuals were pretty sound. The writing may be pretty bad in terms of structure and logic, but the script could have been a lot worse. There are some reasonable funny scenes in the movie. While the intro is tragic the film doesn’t dwell on it too much. It also doesn’t go for the easy fanservice during the tube scenes which I’m definitely grateful for. I think a good chunk of what makes the film salvageable is the ending. The ending is on point and if it had ended in just about any other way I think the film would have had 0 chance of recovering. There are certain tragic elements that will just end a film if the ending doesn’t do something to help it.

Overall, Replicas was actually decently good. It was entertaining and actually did have a pretty compelling plot. There was no animal violence or anything real sketchy here. The plot holes are enormous and you will have a hard time believing that William is a genius, but the good part is that you’ll feel pretty proud of yourself as you imagine how many ways you could have done a better job. The film is a little long, but I wouldn’t say it drags much. The first half is just a little on the slow side, but the film definitely speeds up later on. Once the villains start appearing it almost feels like a completely different movie. I’d actually recommend checking this movie out, you may just be surprised at how you enjoy it.

Overall 6/10