Category Archives: Live Action Movies

Godsend Review

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This is one of those films where the characters are constantly making a bunch of mistakes. You are going to need to suspend a good amount of disbelief in this adventure because otherwise you’ll be questioning everything. Unfortunately this movie doesn’t really succeed at any of the genres it is trying to hit. It’s not super suspenseful as a thriller and it’s definitely not very scary. I guess you can’t win them all.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Paul and Jessie who are happily married and raising their kid Adam. Adam is your average boy who likes sports and games. Unfortunately he gets hit by a car one day and dies. This causes Jessie’s old professor Richard to show up. The guy explains that he can clone Adam so in a way they will have their kid back. They will have to leave town and get new identities though. None of their relatives or old friends can know about this. Paul thinks this is a dumb idea but Jessie is desperate to have a version of Adam back. Paul relents and so they do the cloning. 8 years later, the clone is now as old as Adam was but he begins to act very oddly. Have the main characters made an oopsie here?

There are so many reasons why agreeing to clone your dead kid is a bad idea but of course we wouldn’t have a movie if they had just said no. So for the most part I’m just going to go ahead and skip all of my reservations about that. This is still a bad idea aside from that though. Why would you actually break off contact with all of your friends and family? I understand why you would tell Richard that so that he can give you the clone but you could absolutely reach out to them afterwards. There wouldn’t be much that Richard could do at that point.

Also the instant Adam started acting weird, Paul needed to do something. Unfortunately Jessie was already under Richard’s sway early on so she wasn’t going to do anything but Paul should have gotten the second opinion sooner. It’s not like Adam was subtle either. One of his first scenes is telling Paul that he doesn’t like him anymore. Weird thing to say to your father right? Then he starts zoning out more, having strange visions, etc. You can’t just listen to Richard when he says that everything will be okay.

Odds are that the other doctors couldn’t have done anything but that’s more of a hindsight argument. You should still do something. Unfortunately this is part of why none of the characters are likable here. Jessie is annoying from the start with how easily Richard is able to manipulate her. She just puts up no resistance and also seems to have no survival skills. At one point during what is supposed to be a horror scene, she follows Adam into the camera room. It’s naturally very dark since the light would ruin the photos.

So then Adam vanishes into the darkness and….Jessie follows him instead of just opening the door. That would have been the easiest solution and there is no reason to worry about a few photos at that point. Instead she fumbles around in the darkness so we can get some more jump scares. It just didn’t really make sense. If Jessie had at least turned against Richard early on that would have helped but instead she chooses him every time.

As for Paul, he is better but still looks bad throughout. He knew that cloning was a bad idea but still allowed himself to be convinced otherwise. Then when it comes to Richard, Paul lets his guard down and is easily defeated. It’s a rather humiliating scene for him because that should have never happened. You shouldn’t be turning your back to a dangerous threat like that. So he was really lacking in survival skills as well.

Finally for Richard, his end goal didn’t really make sense. For how long was he going to just try and stall the characters by saying that things would work out? It felt like he had absolutely no plan. I also think his whole cloning project relied on some pretty huge assumptions like the clone looking like the original no matter what DNA was used. That part seems really odd, especially with the spirit realm bodies fighting it out. The film couldn’t really decide if it was leaning more on supernatural or science based. I’d argue that this doesn’t make total sense in either case. The clone should have looked a bit different in retrospect after one of the twists.

As for Adam, well the first kid seemed okay. Then the clone seems to mainly be evil for its own sake. There’s just not a whole lot to him as a villain and so he will not be keeping your interest at any point. Far from it, you’ll prefer the passive aggressive meetings of Richard and Paul since those are a lot more interesting. There isn’t much that Adam can actually do in a fight unless the victim turns around and becomes hard of hearing. That does happen but it’s still unrealistic.

In the meanwhile Adam does murder another kid which was a shame. You were definitely hoping that someone could have intervened in time. Yes the kid was a bully but the bullying was not all that drastic and either way should not be a death sentence. We see enough of the villain’s origin story to see the casualties there as well and even then it doesn’t feel like Adam should have lasted as long as he did. There was a lot of plot armor behind every strike. The film isn’t exactly dreary but it’s also not trying to be a lot of fun. It’s very dramatic and emotional the whole time. Without really strong characters to counteract that, the movie can feel like a bit of a slog at times.

You’re not as interested in ignoring the jarring questions of how nobody realized where the family went to track them down. They wouldn’t need to explain the kid looking similar part because that absolutely could happen. The family running off and trying to start new lives is what would be more suspicious. Did they really get new social security numbers and IDs? I know Richard is great with science but I don’t see how that translates into this CIA type of access.

Overall, This is just not a very good film. It takes a while for the plot to really start as we get a whole lot of build up. Once the story does start in earnest, Adam just isn’t able to hold his own as the film’s main antagonist. Throughout the adventure you can’t help but feel like the movie should have a lot more meat to it. Either go full on supernatural and explore the interesting idea of souls running around waiting for clone bodies to be born or go full on science with the souls residing inside of the DNA. This one tries to do a lot and ends up not being able to accomplish much of anything. Even the twist ending feels more obligatory than interesting. There just isn’t much you can do with the evil kid genre. As it stands, this film is fairly low and still beats its average competitor.

Overall 3/10

Greenland 2: Migration Review

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Greenland 2 is one of those films that will make less and less sense as you watch it but that’s okay. The main purpose of the film is just to let you have some fun with a bunch of action scenes. In fact I dare say it beats the first film. It does run a little long though. The runtime isn’t even that long technically but the pacing starts to die out as the main characters run into trouble after trouble. They really can’t go 5 minutes without having some kind of bad luck.

After the events of the first film, the world is in a really rocky spot. Almost all of humanity has already been wiped off the map and the survivors aren’t doing so well with the crazy amounts of radiation everywhere. There is really no escape….except for one last chance. A perfect oasis that was near the initial blast zone. If you can reach this place, you will be completely safe and will not have to worry about anything. Does such a place even exist though? It sounds almost too good to be true and often times places like that are just a way to give hope to those who have lost it. We’ll see if the journey ends up paying off this time.

What really sets the adventure off is when the island that the heroes are on begins to erupt as a volcano was dormant under it. So John and his family go on a long journey but right away I have to say that he was the only one looking good here. So his wife Allison is big on trying to do the heroic thing and having a clear conscience through what is a really tough situation. No problems on that but she takes it to very dangerous levels to where she would doom everyone. The concept here is called suicidal empathy.

For example we are shown at the beginning of the film that the emergency shelter is already at the breaking point. They only have enough food for maybe 2 weeks left and everyone is crammed in like sardines. John has been trying to find some food and materials for a long time but there has been no luck. The air outside is poisonous so they have to all wear air masks and everything. Well, another group has sent out a distress signal. The problem? The group has dozens and dozens of members within it. A group vote is held and Allison puts in enough pressure to win the vote. So now the shelter will have to accommodate an extra 50 people and there simply aren’t the resources for it.

The one guy who opposes this is treated like an antagonist throughout the film but his points really made sense. At that point you are just dooming everyone and Allison keeps this up throughout the movie. At one point everyone is running for the last 3 life boats. The first two end up toppling because too many people tried to go into them. The heroes manage to get onto the third boat and the driver explains that they have to go or their ship will topple over too. Despite this? Allison still says they should let everyone on, knowing that it would doom them all.

She just wasn’t a very practical character. Unfortunately I would say that she is realistic as a lot of people would feel the same way, no matter how bad of an idea it is. There is a time where you can still feel empathy but have to move on or everyone will be dead. She never really recovered from that showing. Still, it’s not like Allison is a villain or anything, she just ends up being an annoying ally.

Then we have the son, Nathan. He’s the classic teenage character who is just really bored. He wants adventure and so he goes outside even with the poison air everywhere because he can’t stand being cooped up. It makes him seem rather selfish but also short sighted. He could have easily spread some viruses throughout the shelter which is the whole reason why only one person is allowed outside and has to be thoroughly detoxed each time. Nathan also has a tendency to panic all the time. At one point they all have to cross a bridge but he keeps yelling about how he won’t and he’d rather just stay and die there. This is life or death, you have to cross the rope even if it’s hard.

Sure it may be easy to say that from behind the screen but I stand by it. Nathan was always slowing them down quite a bit. I’d have cut him some slack if it was because of the insulin issue but aside from a passing mention at the start, that stops being a thing. So as long as it’s just a fear that Nathan has to get past, I have to blame him 100%.

So John is really the best out of the main characters. I really liked the pragmatic government character but he technically doesn’t last very long. John is at least trying to save his family throughout and is actively sacrificing his safety in order to do that. He’s a good hero and that’s really all you need in order to make a quality character. John gets to show off his expert gunman skills as well during the movie. Without him the family would have had no shot.

I’ll give the film props for also completely changing the film’s location early on. We are at the emergency shelter just long enough where you think that a bunch of those characters are going to be sticking around during the movie. Despite that, they are all removed from the story after the heroes leave the base. That was pretty unexpected for me and I thought that it worked. Having a really small cast of just the main 3 characters was a good idea.

The action was also consistent and never let up. While I do think the film began to drag on just a tad bit by the end, I can’t say that it was uneventful. We got several gunfights and a whole lot of running around. It did feel like the film was perhaps being a bit too ambitious at times though. A lot of focus was put on the atmosphere being poisonous but it felt more like an empty threat because there were many times where the characters would be without their helmets and it wasn’t really a big deal. Then it turns out that the sacred land near the crater has no poison at all. In fact that somehow became the biggest oasis on the planet.

It’s not a plot hole as the film very explicitly talks about how we don’t really understand any of this because humanity isn’t really in a position to study it. It’s just a bit convenient. I don’t really see how this land would not have been destroyed by now. Yes, an army is protecting it but with the whole world seeking shelter, that just wouldn’t last long. This isn’t a story that will hold up too well so the important thing is to just have fun in the moment. That is something that the movie is good at.

I was skeptical going into this film because I never thought that Greenland would really need a sequel. It felt like this would just be stretching a premise past the breaking point. At least by making it involve the rest of the world and an actual war, that made things pretty eventful. The writing is also good and most of my complaints about the characters being annoying are not the kinds of things that would actually lower the score of the film. Same with the inconsistent world building and such. They’re elements that are fun to make fun of and note, but don’t actually hurt my enjoyment of the movie.

Overall, Greenland 2 is definitely a good film. I won’t call it a great one or anything like that but I wasn’t bored. The movie kept my attention all the way through and there weren’t any parts that took me out of it because I thought the writing was super bad or anything. The ending is definitely pretty weak though. That’s one thing the film could have done better with because it just isn’t satisfying. It’s the kind of ending that feels standard in a bad way and also heavily limits the potential of a third film.

Overall 6/10

Explorers Review

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It’s time for a film about a few kids who decide to explore the unknown and have some wacky adventures. Generally this kind of film isn’t really my style. The kids usually aren’t the greatest main characters and you’re just waiting for the grownups to step in. Additionally this time the plot seems a little unfocused with subplots not really going anywhere. The real world plot was also a lot more interesting than space which is something that should really never happen. That’s when you know that the film made some strategic errors.

The film starts with a kid named Ben having some dreams that look like what you would see in a Tron film. All kinds of sci-fi computer chips and such. Fortunately he is good at drawing what he sees and so his super genius friend Wolfgang is able to make an invention out of this. It’s a sort of bubble that can travel across large distances. So naturally they build a spaceship during the night. Now they are ready to space but is this safe? There may even be some aliens out there.

One thing I’ll give the film credit for is not making the main 3 kids jerks or anything like that. For all intents and purposes they are good kids. Perhaps a bit too eager to grow up like with drinking beer and Ben having a huge crush but they aren’t juvenile delinquents or anything like that. They just have a ton of free time so they may as well get to inventing. The film is a good portrayal of how you can have fun doing anything when you’ve got some friends at the ready.

I will also say that the effects are pretty solid. Again, that Tron type world in the dreams looks really good. The flying around may be less impressive but all in all you can tell that some real effort went into this production. The soundtrack is also very lively. Perhaps not something that you will be jamming to but at least you can’t say that the music is invisible. I will always prefer a loud soundtrack to a movie where you don’t remember what any of the tunes were at all.

Now on the weaker parts, well like I said the characters aren’t the greatest. Ben is basically your average kid but he has a huge crush on a girl at school and basically isn’t able to talk to her at all without stuttering. The romance is really not developed well at all and doesn’t make any sense. Lori and Ben have almost no time for any interactions during the movie so the ending just feels really obligatory.

Lori is okay I suppose but of course she doesn’t really have much character either. By all accounts she’s a nice person within the school but that’s about it. Then you have Darren who seems to have grown up in a rather rough environment. He was pretty hesitant about going back home for example. This doesn’t really go anywhere though so we just have to hope that things got better for him later on. At school he was quick to defend Ben from the bullies so that was good.

From the 3 main kids he would definitely be my favorite. After that we have Wolfgang who is the genius who builds everything. He’s certainly very smart and is a good sport about things but also tends to panic a lot. He worries about every possibility and doesn’t live in the moment as much as the other two. You want him on your team to build everything but he needs to lighten up a bit.

Now the film does have a pretty interesting concept that is introduced about a shared dream world that can be accessed through an alien gizmo. While you are dreaming is when you go to this kind of Tron world. This is how the kids have the blue print for the ship and so it served as a map of sorts. Alien tech is always pretty interesting even if there aren’t a lot of explanations going around. Why is this even a thing and what causes other people to be pulled into it? The main kids all share this world after a while and eventually even Lori gets in there.

The space act is just rather boring like I mentioned before. You have a weird alien who flirts with one of the kids and everyone else starts talking using pop culture references and such. It kind of makes sense that aliens would only know humanity through TV if the signals are all that they could grab. Although at the same time I feel like it means their intelligence is pretty low. Every film still has some kind of a plot, even commercials so shouldn’t they be able to talk normally instead of just using memes and big sound bites?

I mean the aliens are clearly intelligent because they were able to invent all of this technology. It reminds me of when in a show some animals will speak perfect English and then raise a kid who speaks broken English. Like why would that even happen? It just doesn’t make sense once you actually think about it. The film thinks the aliens are absolutely hilarious though so their scenes feel like they go on for quite a long while but get repetitive real fast. The aliens also just seem like creeps so it was probably good to ditch them.

As a result of spending so much time on the alien world we had to abruptly end the plot about two rangers finding out about the UFO and one of them being particularly obsessed with it. He basically just pulls a Spiderverse “Not bad kid” as they dash off in the UFO. Pretty convenient outcome for the kids since he won’t be telling anybody about the ship or doing anything about it. That felt really abrupt and it’s a shame because we could have had a fun government angle.

Overall, This film feels like it’s a bit all over the place. I actually think it could have been a fairly decent school story although it’s not like it would have been amazing or anything like that. Instead going to space was a total mistake and this film is a reminder to me on why you want some adult main characters. The kids are not able to hold their own at all here. It’s a pretty harmless film, no big issues but it’s not really going to be holding your interest either. I’d say to watch Back to the Future instead if you want some slice of life shenanigans.

Overall 5/10

Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 Review

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All right if someone asked me if I could survive 5 nights at Freddy’s I would definitely say yes. The animatronics are slow and clunky so that’s not a problem. If they asked me if I could survive 5 more nights? Well now that’s getting tricky. The monsters in this film seem to be considerably more powerful than in the first film although I would say that they are still under the average horror title. For that reason nobody in this film is really putting up much of a fight most of the time.

The film starts off with Mike trying his best to forget the events of the first film. He figures the best way to do this is to gaslight Abby into thinking that he will fix the old robots when he doesn’t plan to. Then on the side Mike is trying his best to fix Vanessa from all of her childhood trauma but Mike doesn’t really have the temperament for such a journey. Eventually his plans fall through and Abby runs back into Freddy’s to bring her friends back while Vanessa heads over for some closure. Unfortunately they both end up bringing something far darker back into the world. And yes…there are now two Freddy’s locations.

This is definitely one of those films where everyone looks pretty bad which is what the villains are able to capitalize on. For example in the first flashback scene we see how William wasn’t exactly subtle in grabbing one of the kids to destroy but even when another kid notices, nobody wants to help. The adults are painfully oblivious and almost go out of their way to ignore the situation. Then once it all happens, we see how the media blamed this on the kid who died. Now that was crazy and it sets the stage for how this is a world without a whole lot of empathy. Everyone is just looking out for themselves here and they don’t want to stick their neck out.

The fact that this happened before the other 5 murders is also crazy because it really shows how William was allowed to do whatever he wanted to do. Now in the present, we’ve got a number of plots going on. For Abby’s, well I feel like she looks really bad here. She wants to bring the robots back since some of them had her friends from the beyond but even in the first film it was always a 50/50 chance at best on if they were actually the kids. Usually they were the evil demon robots so she is risking everyone’s lives for a small chance. Not a smart thing to do.

Abby definitely shouldn’t have been going to Freddy’s by herself. Then we have Mike who comes across as really annoying the whole time. He gets upset with Abby when she notices that he’s been lying a lot and that’s on him. Then even after Vanessa has saved his life on multiple occasions and saved Abby, he still tells her off. There are some things like a life debt which should not be so easily broken. Certainly not in this manner. Mike really needed to lock in more.

He got one good scene where he actually fights one of the animatronics but that’s about it for him. Then we have Vanessa who is dealing with the most issues right now. William is still attacking her through dreams which she just barely manages to survive through. It feels like there is only a matter of time before she falls to him unless she can find a way to destroy him forever. Of course that is not going to be easy.

Then Vanessa has to deal with the new villain of the movie, The Marionette. Unfortunately a gun isn’t going to do a whole lot to this thing. She definitely should have told Mike more about what was going on but I still tend to place more of the blame on him for not taking the news well at all. With the stakes this high, there is no time to be falling apart at the seams.

The Marionette makes for a pretty strong villain. She leaves more of an impact than a lot of the different Freddy creatures and for now I would say she was more impressive than William as well. She has a good amount of space and can basically take control of someone’s body which is a really big deal. I suppose that the name is quite fitting.

On that note, the main Freddy crew don’t get to do quite as much here. They threaten the humans a whole lot and are always on the move but don’t technically produce a whole lot of results. More often than not they are foiled at the last second. The body count is a bit smaller than you may have initially guessed. Also unless you are a hardcore fan you will have some trouble differentiating the designs between the new ones and the old ones even when you see them back to back.

The film does go all in on the jump scares though. There is a lot going on at all times and the characters act super suspicious the whole time. There’s a new night guard named Michael for example who seems ominous the whole time. He’s constantly grinning and seems to know a whole lot about Freddy’s. They’re going to want to keep an eye out for him. So the film knows how to be scary.

Then on the other hand it also has some funny moments. I liked the cab driver who was always ready to break the ice. There’s also a mean science teacher who is a complete antagonist but does a really good job within the role like when he “accidentally” broke a girl’s toy. This guy has clearly been in the game for a long time. The film certainly leans harder on horror than comedy but handles both genres rather well.

The writing and script are certainly not realistic but you can put that to the same camp. The film also still keeps itself from being too violent. It’s maybe a little more violent than the first one but I would say that it was close. There is less focus on all the kids who got murdered from the first film which is a good thing. I would also say that the film’s story is a lot more interesting now that it is embracing all of the crazy characters. It was sad that Golden Freddy didn’t show up but I guess the film was getting rather packed.

There are quite a few clffhangers in the film too which sets up the third film nicely. First up we already have a main villain, then a returning villain shows up, and then a hype message which might signal a third one. In theory it’ll be hard for the heroes to stop these guys next time because there is no longer any kind of an off button. Physically these creatures are mainly still robots so you can mess them up but that requires no tripping or panicking which is rare.

For the next film I would like to see some more action though. One issue I have with this one is that the animatronics all tend to look very slow aside from the Marionette and just don’t seem to be a huge threat. Mike takes one out extremely easily in one scene and it feels like that would work on any of the others as well. So I feel like the next film needs to show them actually fighting and moving a bit quicker to make things scary again.

Overall, I definitely wouldn’t be eating at Freddy’s but the film does a good job of staying scary while adding in a lot of story this time around. The concept of Freddy’s is definitely an intense one. I am glad that the series continues to reign in the violence and doesn’t go for a ton of grit. It would be nice if we could go one film without children being among the fatalities though. This time it was brief and then it was over at least but we don’t need to retread the plots. Since this one hints at a much larger threat looming, it may be time to call in the government. Some may say that would be jumping the shark but I think it would be hype!

Overall 6/10

For Your Eyes Only Review

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It’s time for more James Bond. Now you all may remember 007 as the agent who is constantly on the back foot and getting crushed by all of his adversaries right? Well, that doesn’t change much here as he still gets crushed a lot but I will say he fares slightly better than in other films. It doesn’t take longer than the first 10 minutes or so for him to have to rely on plot armor though. This is a classic Bond film all the way through so if you have liked the prior films then you should enjoy this one as well.

The movie starts off with Blofeld returning to bump Bond off once and for all. He actually comes close but Bond is able to turn over the situation and literally make the guy beg for his life. The real mission starts when some kind of targeting system goes missing so Bond must now grab it before the soviets. He isn’t the only one after the villains though as a lady named Melina wants in on the action as well. Her parents were murdered by the culprits and so she seeks to take them all down. She may not have an all powerful spy network at her disposal but she has a car as well as a gun.

This makes her journey even more impressive with how she gets to one of the villain compounds and murders the leader. Bond isn’t ultra grateful but he was about to be murdered so he should actually be quite happy with her. His license to kill was about to be expired. Melina looks less impressive as she is manipulated into her next destination by the villains but I can’t blame her much because again she is doing all of this on her own. That is considerably different from what Bond has to go through so a trap or two makes sense.

Unfortunately she peeked with the opening fight scene. After that she’s basically just one of the Bond girls. Meanwhile Bond is his same old self. He can’t help but be a flirt in every situation and doesn’t let the gravity of the situation stick. The entire world is at stake and yet he’s still messing around with everybody. I really need Bond to lock in and focus here. The film reminds us about his wife who died and yet he is still having affairs? Not a very good look for him I gotta say.

Now the film doesn’t care much about the plot just like Bond. For the most part Bond just has to follow the dots and eventually get to the right answer so it’s not really a traditional mystery. Bond’s usually just walking when the villains show up to shoot him and then he gets some intel. I feel like they may have gotten away with this if they had just stayed quiet and not made a move. Sure, Bond was getting closer but I don’t think he would have made it in time.

The fight scenes are pretty good though. The series has always done well in this arena and I would say that this movie is no exception to that. The movie generally has a fun tone and even has a sense of humor. The film doesn’t get quite as silly as the last one but still has its moments. So if you’re looking for a fun action thriller then the film succeeds in that arena. You do have to still get around the usual issues though.

Aside from the endless fanservice and meaningless affairs, we also have an ice skating student who really wants Bond. While Bond for once had some class and said no, he is still unable to avoid her entirely. This whole subplot should have been cut because it was just annoying and didn’t need to be here. Additionally, it would have made the villain look a little better by default because one of his goals is basically to get the student which isn’t a great look.

We do get some fakeouts on who the actual villain is though so I appreciate that. Bond even ends up teaming up with one of these guys who is apparently able to keep up. It’s either a good look for that guy or a bad look for Bond. I’ll let you decide which one is more likely here. The Bond films always have the potential to be good here since the action works well. It’s a shame that such potential cannot be realized.

One more silver lining I will throw the film is that the pacing is pretty good. The Bond films all tend to be fairly long but this one doesn’t drag out or anything like that. It actually runs by pretty smoothly and I think in some ways that is because of all the action. It’s hard to drag out when the next combat scene is right around the corner. Bond even takes on an entire hockey team. While the first action scene of the film is played for laughs by the end, it was also still pretty exciting in that way.

As for the soundtrack, well the classic Bond theme is fun as always. That is something that the series really got right. Then we have the new intro song for the film which is supposed to be top tier although I wasn’t a big fan. Generally speaking I suppose I haven’t been a big fan of most of the Bond songs though. They just tend to be a bit too slow and out of energy for me. We need a full rock theme already.

Overall, The film fittingly ends on a note where a parrot is able to successfully outsmart M16 and troll for a bit. They eventually catch up and cut the feed but it’s too late by then. As bad as Bond can be at focusing, I dare say that the agency is worse with how they constantly panic at every opportunity. Every little thing seems to shake them up which is not good for such a large spy organization. I would expect better from them. The last film is definitely more exciting with the space climax though, we’ll see how the next film fares.

Overall 4/10

Wuthering Heights Review

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It’s time for a really crazy romance. This is one of those titles that is just so out there that you can scarcely believe it. There aren’t really any characters to root for and so the romance is doomed from the start. A tragic romance is actually something that can work well in theory but this was definitely not the way to go about it. Based on how it all went down, I can’t really say that any of the remakes would sound all that promising either.

The film starts off with a guy getting stranded in a desolate area and so he stops by the nearest castle for shelter. He’s treated terribly by the master of the house, Heathcliff but this guy puts up with it because there is nowhere to go. He hears a girl crying out from beyond the fog which causes Heathcliff to run outside and the maid lets the guy know that it is the ghost of his dead lover. This guy has nothing better to do so it asks to hear the whole story.

The trope of the whole film being a flashback from the present is still a super annoying one imo but that’s how it has to be this time. So in the flashback we see how Heathcliff was adopted by a rich man but he died shortly thereafter and so the son Hindley was super resentful towards Heathcliff. He made Heathcliff essentially a slave of the family and ruled with an iron hand. Heathcliff fell in love with Hindley’s sister Catchy and so they would hang out in secret. Unfortunately this was not enough for Cathy. Cathy wanted to be rich and so she would cheat on Heathcliff with a rich man named Edgar.

She plays around with both of them for a while before finally marrying Edgar. In revenge, Heathcliff decided to get insanely rich and then married Cathy’s sister Isabella. He didn’t love her but sought to use Isabella as a bargaining chip against Cathy. This essentially works as Cathy wants Heathcliff again and this whole romantic rollercoaster goes all around with everyone allowing themselves to be humiliated and degraded in this way. Ultimately after a while we get back to the point in the present which tries its best to have some kind of a happy ending but you’ll just be shaking your head.

Now where to start on this one? The reason the romance doesn’t work of curse is because none of the relationships are actually true. Cathy lives up to her villainous potential for wanting Heathcliff for his body and Edgar for his money. She’s the kind of girl that people warn you about and you assume just doesn’t exist because that’s such an exaggerated person. Unfortunately Cathy never does anything to improve as a person and is content to be cheating even on her death bed. A truly terrible character all the way.

It does take two to tango though and that’s why I can’t let Heathcliff or Edgar off the hook here. Edgar really needed to have some self respect here. Cathy made it clear from the start that she also liked Heathcliff and even though she eventually married Edgar, that’s not a very good way to start off a relationship. Edgar needed to take a hard stance and at least move them away but to me he almost seemed a little intimidated by Heathcliff. This guy just let Heathcliff walk all over him the whole time.

As for Heathcliff, well it’s not like he was a morally upstanding character from the start. He was bullied and abused quite a lot growing up which ultimately led him to want to lash out and take complete revenge. Instead of being the better man he was the kind of guy who would go an eye for an eye. It can sure be tempting to go down that route of course but man did it make him absolutely unlikable. At least if he kept his age to Hindley and Cathy that would be one thing, but he was shown to have no morals when he went for Isabella instead as the ultimate form of revenge.

Yeah there was definitely no saving this guy. The characters sure make it easy though. This is going to sound like victim blaming but hey all these characters are adults and should know better. Hindley allows himself to get addicted to alcohol which makes it really easy for Heathcliff to forever torment the guy. It’s all just so easy when it really shouldn’t be. Hindley was in the power position just a few years back and then after the time skip he was all washed up.

Meanwhile Isabella knew that she was the runner up prize and still went with Heathcliff. He barely even pretended to love her. It was the most half hearted performance he could have given and yet she still went with him. Cmon now that’s just crazy. From there it only gets worse for Isabella but this was not a surprise attack by any means. It was all plain as day and she just allowed herself to be used, perhaps as a way to try and one up Cathy but it didn’t work.

The cast of characters isn’t even that large but it feels really expanded because of how long each character is on screen. They just drag out each of the minutes over and over as you can’t help but shake your head. There’s nothing particularly noteworthy about the writing and the pacing is only okay. The issues really begin to snowball into each other after a while because as a romance film the characters are one of the most important parts. When you don’t have any likable characters, ultimately that means you have virtually nothing to work with here. Certainly not a big soundtrack or exciting action scenes to take the pressure off.

Overall, I would definitely say to give this film a skip. I dare say that Twilight makes for a more believable romance and that is not going to crack anyone’s top 10 romances. The only consolation I can give this film is that the title’s a little funny. The spelling just makes me think of someone saying “Wut?” even though that’s not the intent. I just don’t see how anyone would really find this to be romantic. Obviously a taboo romance like Romeo and Juliet has its share of appeal but at least they really loved each other with no caveats. In this film it feels like everything has an asterisk. Does Heathcliff really love the heroine or does he just want to essentially own her and claim his revenge? Does Cathy love him truly or is she just punishing herself by getting a guy that she feels she deserves? It’s all twisted and certainly not in an entertaining way.

Overall 2/10

My Man Godfrey Review

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It’s time for another fun movie. This one definitely goes all out with the comedy and introduces a ton of crazy characters. It ends up being a really fun adventure and doesn’t overstay its welcome. That is usually the most dangerous pitfall for any comedy film but this one sidestepped it like a champ.

The movie starts with a bunch of rich folks doing a scavenger hunt. One of the items is to find a homeless person so Cornelia goes to a dump and finds one. She offers him $5 but he doesn’t like her approach and says no. Cornelia’s little sister Irene is really impressed and the homeless man, Godfrey decides to help her win. After winning the competition, Irene hires Godfrey as her family’s butler. Unfortunately her whole family is quite eccentric to say the least and so he is going to be in for a really difficult time. In particular, Cornelia wants revenge on Godfrey for causing her to lose the competition and to fall in the dirt. He will have to watch his back.

It’s already difficult enough to get a new job as well as to be working or a rich family, but one where a certain member wants to see you fired immediately? Yeah that’s going to be an incredibly difficult task. Fortunately Godfrey is very quick witted and right from the start he is able to hold his own in terms of banter. He also doesn’t let the other characters walk all over him.

Godfrey also takes a lot of pride in being a good butler and so he doesn’t allow Cornelia’s digs to get to him. I would say that a large part of what makes the film enjoyable is what a good main character Godfrey is. The whole thing would definitely not work without him, it just would not be the same. He gets to take on all of the characters and usually comes out on top. He manages to resist all of Irene’s advances which is good because a butler shouldn’t be mixing business and pleasure.

I really appreciated his subtlety and that was a credit to him throughout. By the end of the film you could argue that things were essentially out of his control, not to mention that he wasn’t in the same position so it wasn’t as much of a problem. Up til that point though, Godfrey did well in staying one step ahead. He was also able to foil one of Cornelia’s plans really well which may have really been the turning point in his journey. If he had not been able to stop her, well it would have been quite rough for him.

As for Cornelia, well she is the big villain here. She does well in constantly insulting Irene and generally making a nuisance of herself. It’s impressive just how dedicated she is. That being said, she does seem to actually fall for Godfrey later on which really weakens her as a villain. You aren’t allowed to just weaken like that. I would have preferred that she continued to double down to the end. Perhaps she would respect Godfrey as a worthy foe but not want to be his friend or anything like that. To me that was just going a tad bit too far.

Irene initially seems like she’s actually rather normal but as the film goes on you see that she is just as crazy as the rest. She gets incredibly possessive of Godfrey and basically wants him to marry her. She seems to not really be familiar with what the role of a master/protege is. Godfrey tries to put some distance between them but it’s difficult and Irene has to consistently put on a whole production to get his attention.

Those scenes tend to be pretty fun though like when Cornelia points out how fake this all is. Irene trades threats with her a lot but you get the feeling that this is a normal occurrence and nothing ever actually happens. That’s just how this family operates. Their mother is also rather eccentric as she takes care of Carlo as a protégé. The guy’s basically a free loader who is always eating and is allergic to the word “money”. He throws a fit every time and tends to panic a lot. Irene’s father doesn’t appreciate this and never wastes any time in insulting this guy. By the end of the film he even takes a decisive step to get rid of Carlo.

The father ends up being the only really normal person in the family. He essentially works as a piggy bank to the rest of the family until they eventually bleed him dry which forces him to revisit the dynamic. The film ultimately gives all of the characters a pretty happy ending though. This is an uplifting title after all and is certainly not meant to be a downer or anything like that.

It even goes so far as to allow Godfrey to essentially end the homeless problem in his neighborhood. Now that was a pretty impressive accomplishment and certainly not one that just anybody could have done. So how much you enjoy the film will likely depend on how funny you think it is. Fortunately for me I thought that just about all of the jokes landed. The movie was consistently funny from start to finish with a lot of fun characters.

Overall, The only character who gets a bit of a sad ending here is the guy who was used by Irene in a fake engagement to get Godfrey jealous. He probably should have known better but yeah that was still a rough situation for him. The others were all having a good time though and I definitely recommend this film if you’re looking for something light to watch. I dare say that the fast paced banter and marathon’s worth of insults are even ahead of their time here. The characters are speaking a mile a minute and the dialogue stays consistently good throughout.

Overall 7/10

Uncle Buck Review

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It’s time for a classic film about what happens when all of the normal babysitters are out of town. It’s time to call in the last resort and this will either be a complete success or a total mess. There is rarely any in between when it comes to that. The movie ends up being pretty fun and was better than I expected it would be. The title’s far from perfect but makes for an all around entertaining film.

The movie starts out by introducing us to Maizy, the oldest of 3 kids and the most rebellious. She always has a bad attitude and nothing ever makes her happy. It seems like she even takes pride in always having an awful time. Well, her parents have to head off due to a medical emergency so now Uncle Buck will be the head of the household. Unfortunately for Maizy, Buck knows how to handle troublemakers. Who will win in this clash of wills?

One of the strengths of the film is in how secure Uncle Buck is. He doesn’t let any of the many jokes and wisecracks get to him. Maizy tries her passive aggressive insults at him and he just laughs them off. They clash several times and he wins virtually all of the encounters. The only time Maizy scores a win, Buck doesn’t panic and just accepts the defeat. He was determined to do a good job of watching over the kids and he succeeded.

Buck has been out of a job for a while and tends to be a bit of slob but he didn’t let that stop him as the babysitter. While Buck may not know the best ways to handle things, he does his best and comes up with creative ways to make it all work. He also cooks actual meals for the kids rather than just ordering take-out or something. What I’m getting at here is that he put in a lot of real effort and that’s part of what makes him an endearing character.

By the end of the film he has to make a lot of difficult decisions and while Buck hesitates, he makes the right calls in the end. In particular he was good about chasing Bug away and keeping him from causing too much damage to Maizy. At the end of the day it is up to her to really make the problem go away though as Buck can’t be there 24/7. Unfortunately Maizy doesn’t have a lot of sense and is easily the worst character here.

She is basically willing to do anything in order to spite Buck which is a terrible approach. Her rebellious phase went really far with how she was using Bugs as a means to an end. She really knew that he wasn’t a good guy but just kept doing whatever she wanted even when it meant leaving her two younger siblings alone. She was completely irresponsible to the max. Definitely a character who was annoying the entire time.

There’s not much to say about Bug other than the fact that he’s basically just a creep. It was nice to see Buck interrogating him the whole time and really putting some fear into him. Bug needs to be fearful so he doesn’t keep on messing around. I like to think that Buck scared him straight here. Meanwhile Maizy’s two siblings don’t get as much of a role as you might expect. Initially I though that all 3 characters would get big roles but this was really Maizy’s film by the end of it.

Miles and Tia were quickly on board with Buck so I appreciated how they adapted to the situation. They are a bit too young to be true rebels and mostly just seemed to have been copying their older sister. I think they will be in a better situation now. In general the kids tend to have a bit of a potty mouth though and it’s where the film’s script tends to be at its weakest. The lines sometimes feel rather forced like it’s just there to be shocking without really adding to the story. There are some good jokes in here too though so you could say the film has its ups and downs in that area.

The film tries to squeeze in a romance plot as well as Buck and Chanice have been going through some issues. She wants to get married already while he continues to put up resistance. It feels like one of those forced issues and I’m more on her side here. Either you are going to commit or you aren’t but there’s no sense in dragging it out. She also gets messed with by Maizy so I can’t even get upset at her for going off the rails later on. The whole dancing scene was a rough look for Buck.

Generally speaking I’d say it’s okay to dance with anyone, however since it was obvious that the neighbor was trying to seduce him, Buck had to get out of there. There aren’t any good excuses for staying there and allowing her to play these games with him. Ideally things will go well for him and Chanice now but I don’t think the film really needed this plot. I felt like it was only there to give Maizy some ammo for her singular win. Otherwise she really would not have had anything on Buck.

Overall, Uncle Buck is a pretty good film. The first area where it succeeds is in being funny. That’s a super important factor for this kind of film and so it really needed to succeed there. Outside of that the pacing is good and Buck works well as the main character. Maizy’s just annoying enough where she almost starts to drag this down with her scenes but fortunately, they aren’t quite long enough to sabotage it. If you like comedy films that aren’t afraid to get rather crazy then I would recommend this film. By the end of the film you’ll see how Buck was a better parent than the actual couple who ran off.

Overall 7/10

The Cross and the Switchblade

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This is a film that I’ve certainly heard a lot about over the years even if I hadn’t gotten to watch the film until now. The true events were a really big deal after all so that only makes sense. The film definitely captures how dangerous the environment was in NYC back in the day. Certainly not the kind of place you’d want to be walking around without a plan. Without divine intervention, David would not have been making it out of there alive either.

The film starts off with David hearing about a group of thugs who had attacked someone in the park. He tries to see them in court but is blocked from visitation and forced to turn away. He doesn’t want to just leave without a fight like this though and so he looks around the city for opportunities to turn the troubled youth over a new leaf. He means to introduce them into Christianity so that they will finally have a true purpose beyond their empty lives. Fortunately, he meets a girl named Bo who is able to get him into the gang bases to meet with their leaders. David also runs into a small congregation whose pastor takes him in. Now Davis can focus on getting the word out.

Right away you can see how everything had to go perfectly for David to have even had a chance here. The gangs could have easily murdered him at any time and it’s not like there would be anyone who could have stopped them. The gangs may not have literally ruled the city but they certainly had a lot of momentum. It wasn’t a popular move to get in their way and David was being very aggressive with his approaches. David wasn’t here to be subtle and so he would challenge them to their face. His final goal was to get all of the gangs inside a room with him to convert them at once and really make sure there was no room for escape. In most cases this would have been fatal.

David had God’s blessing in this from the start and so everything turned out well. He was really able to touch their hearts and not only left with his life intact, but knowing that he redeemed many souls. So the film has a happy ending there and is a very uplifting story in general. The fact that this happened in real life is a true miracle, definitely not something that can be downplayed or explained rationally. God is the only answer to a difficult situation like this.

Now the film is aiming to be as realistic as possible and for that reason it can be rather gritty. We see how the teens are all just addicted to the violence. They all hold serious grudges against each other to the point where they are always bloodthirsty. They are even quick to turn against their own members for any perceived moments of cowardice. This leads one of their members to fall to his doom. Each person also has to watch their backs at all times because the other gangs seek to attack them from behind, get them into traps, etc.

Then you have a bunch of drug dealers taking advantage of the chaos as well. Rosa gets trapped into this and is the film’s main subplot. She has a really hard time kicking the addiction and just when it seems like she has gotten out, she is sucked right back in. It’s definitely one of those plots that is tough to watch because she really should have been safe after the first time but then allowed herself to fall back into the same cycle. She let the bad moment get to her which is why you need a particularly strong anchor to fight such urges. The kind of anchor you are absolutely not going to get from your own strength.

I was also glad that David had some allies here. The church pastor and his wife were both very helpful to David. It absolutely makes a world of difference to have a place to rest as opposed to sleeping inside the car the whole time. Additionally, Bo was also helpful in being able to lead David around so he wasn’t just wandering. He had a lot of help that God presented to him and then faith had to take the rest of the way.

As long as you’re wearing the armor of the Lord then you will be protected at all times. It can be difficult to resist fear in the moment but it was absolutely rewarded here. David really never took a step back. The pacing and writing for the film are both pretty good. There is going to be a bit of shock value here as the film did not want to tone down the way that the gang members would talk at all. So you’ll be on the edge of your seat here even when you know that a positive ending is coming up. I do think it would be nice to have a version for kids at some point so they can also experience the story. There have certainly been many plays and such that go through the plot but I don’t think there was another big movie.

Overall, The Cross and the Switchblade is a powerful film to watch about how miracles still happen. You need to really watch it if you just don’t have hope for the future. It’s not a film I would recommend for younger viewers due to the violence and dark themes though. So for now just watch it if you’re old enough to handle this kind of story. Sometimes it can be hard to logically process a miracle and that’s fine. I would even argue that it should be that way because they defy logic. So seeing a film like this can be helpful as you are able to really visualize the kind of atmosphere that David walked into and was able to walk out of in complete victory.

Will Penny Review

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It’s time for a wild west film and you know how those can always be very hit or miss. Unfortunately this is one of the misses. It doesn’t really hit on any of the strong notes that you need to reach to surpass the genre. The characters tend to make some bad decisions and while it’s hard to play a perfect round back in the wild west where there was no law and order, it did feel like some of these issues were very avoidable.

The movie starts by introducing us to Will who is a classic work hand. He goes from job to job and is good at what he does but there is a lot of competition and not a lot of jobs left. He had a chance to go on a trip with the crew but selflessly gives up his spot to another guy who wanted to visit his father. Will travels with Blue and Dutchy and they end up in a firefight with another group over an animal. Will’s team shoots down one of the attackers but the rest swear revenge. On Will’s side, one of his teammates is injured so he looks for help. In the meantime he also gets a job to protect a part of someone’s large territory but now a lady named Catherine and her son Horace are living there. Will feels bad about throwing them out but eventually the guy who owns this property is going to find out and then things will go very badly. How can Will get out of this situation.

First off, I have to say that Catherine doesn’t play this situation very smart at all. She is exceptionally lucky that Will is such a nice guy because many others would have just shot her on sight at minimum. The penalty for letting a stranger live on these premises could easily be death and people aren’t generally going to take that chance. Will even tries to give her a few days to leave but Catherine is insistent on not going anywhere. It just seems like a terrible strategy to go with when you’re not a fighter and there is no man on the premises.

Catherine’s first instinct is even to say that she’s all alone. Why would you give out that kind of information? Her son Horace means well too but he’s just a young kid and is not going to be doing much here. Catherine was ultimately ditched by her tour guide and her husband seems to have no intention of returning so just surviving will be difficult. It’s the wild west so even going into town isn’t a great option but you feel like she needs to do something and get away from the area. Taking your chances in town may be for the best.

Meanwhile Will does his best with looking after her but he is breaking all of the rules of a job that he just got. His sympathy may be a little too high here. It was also annoying to see him getting jumped so quickly. When you’re outnumbered, you need to fire as soon as possible. He gets a few of the villains at gunpoint but then hesitates and gets knocked out. There is no room for compassion here. It may be a hard thing to hear but, in a life or death situation it is you against the other guy. Whoever hesitates is absolutely not going to survive.

Will’s character is portrayed to be a really nice one throughout but this is the double edged blade of it. As for the romance in the film, he knows that Catherine is a married woman from the start so he is very wary about getting involved. That’s the right attitude. Her husband may not appear to be a good guy but until that is officially dissolved then there is nothing you can do. He can be a good friend to her but if she is trying to start a romance then he has to get out of there. Nothing good comes from living next to temptation.

It takes him a long while to get his mind wrapped around that but ultimately, he does and that helps the ending even if it’s portrayed in more of a somber way. Nobody here really gets a super happy ending because they’re all going to be struggling a lot. At least they are alive though which could have easily gone the other way. The film feels like two different movies though when it’s about Will and Catherine vs when he’s hanging out with his friends.

Blue and Dutchy are gone for so long that you almost forget they are in this film until they show up in the climax. It was good to see them, but man did they take their time. There was certainly no sense of urgency among them that’s for sure. They did come in clutch though because Will was not going to be able to fight off everyone in the climax otherwise. His new coworkers showed up after everything was all settled. I thought the film was about to give us one more fight but they were reasonable.

I suppose part of why the film fails here is because of how troubled the romance is. A lot of time is spent on Will and Catherine getting closer but you really can’t root for this at all because of her married status. For a while there you assume that maybe she was lying since she didn’t trust him. Would have been a smart deception to be honest but that’s not how it played out. So the scenes aren’t as charming as they would have been otherwise.

Then the villains tend to be annoying and get a whole lot of screentime. Naturally they want to marry Catherine as well, just without any say in the matter. They intend to work Will as a slave for a while before they eventually murder him and there’s not much he can do about it while at gunpoint. At least that’s how it played out but after a point I think you do just need to lunge for the gun. If you die then you die, but often times you’re going to be waiting for an opening that never arrives. You just have to hope that the sudden movement is enough to catch them off balance.

It’s also a western so the animals aren’t fully safe either. Nothing too explicit in this film to be sure but just a background element that’s never all that great. The first animal that died is even a part of the plot with how the first fight started. This is a very grounded western film. The kind that may be true to life but doesn’t translate into great television. Give me a more inspiring Western anyway. At best this one just serves as another reminder of why you would not have wanted to live in this era.

Overall, Will Penny is the kind of title that will end up being very memorable. The name itself is certainly unique and definitely works well. The film though, it’s your average western at best and I would actually say it’s below most of them. There isn’t a lot of ongoing action in the film. It goes for more of an emotional focus instead, except it does so with a poor situation. There aren’t many reasons to watch this one and it’s a bit grim for my liking. I’d say to skip it and roll the dice on a different western title.

Overall 3/10