Swamp Thing Review

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It’s time to look at an old school DC film. This movie doesn’t really feel like your average comic book film and could easily be mistaken for just being another horror film. That would probably be the best outcome for all parties involved since I doubt anyone wants to take credit for this movie. It just isn’t good and does so many things wrong that you’ll end up wondering what the film was thinking. The characters aren’t very smart and so it’s hard to root for anyone.

The film starts off with the main character, Alice heading over to the Swamp. She is here to fix some sensors, but the broken sensors were sabotaged by terrorists so she isn’t allowed to go near them. Since she has nothing else to do she hangs around the pair of scientists who are trying to make some breakthroughs and insults them the whole time. The main guy is married, but seems to forget this all the time so all scenes with him are cringe worthy. That’s when the villains come in and murder the two scientists in the hopes of getting their research. Alice managed to snatch one book though so their collection won’t be complete. The villains don’t like that and decide to give chase, but they have one more obstacle to try and get past, The Swamp Thing!

The film doesn’t exactly hide the Swamp Thing’s identity, but I won’t allude to it in case you need that reveal. Needless to say, The Swamp Thing is here to help. “This is My Swamp!” should have been his opening line but he’s a creature of action as opposed to words. As the film goes on he does start to get a little more chatty though so I guess that’s a good thing? Unfortunately, he isn’t quite as intimidating as the average creature. In most of these horror films you see the monsters just destroying everybody until they die in the end. Since the Swamp Thing is a heroic creature, he doesn’t get the same treatment. He gets captured and beaten by the crooks. He doesn’t do a good job of taking the villains out of the equation so they always pop right back up to give him some more grief. He isn’t opposed to murder as we see him do it several times, he is always in just too much of a hurry to get away. He’s just not a very likable character. His abilities also don’t seem all that impressive in this film. He was nerfed all the way into the ground.

Alice isn’t a bad main character although she can also be a little iffy at times. For the positives, she is a fighter. Alice does put up a struggle whenever she appears and even lands in some good hits. On the other hand, she is rather slow on the uptake. Even when seeing the Swamp Thing mowing down her opponents she keeps telling him to back off. She’s certainly safer with him than without. She also has an unfortunate tendency to trip over just about everything. She probably hit the ground at least ten times. Cmon Alice, you can do better than that!

Then I have to quickly rewind to the beginning of the film to explain why the normal joe characters always fall below expectations. So you have a guy running through the swamp when a few guys with guns walk up to him. He quickly lets them disarm him and then runs. What’s the point? They’ll just shoot him down. He’s dead either way so he may as well have held on to his gun and taken one of them down with him. This is preferable for many reasons. One of which is that by firing right away you at least have the slimmest of chances to survive. Second, at least they’ll be forced to gun you down right there which is a far less painful death than the alternative. Third, you get to die with some dignity. Trying to run away in a swamp when you’re outnumbered like that won’t work. Even if it was just one guy he could shoot you once your back was turned. These hostage situations always drive me batty.

This film is a little on the violent side with people getting snapped and crunched. The main villain’s transformation scene was also shown to be as grotesque and violent as possible which is a little on the rare side for transformations. Usually you expect those to at least be a little pleasant right? The violence isn’t extremely over the top but certainly is high enough that it’s noticeable. There isn’t really animal violence if you look at the film casually, but it’s there when you drill into the specifics. The unlikable main characters were running experiments on the animals which is a no go. These animals don’t care about the science so why should they have to be used like this? The animal certainly didn’t look like it was having fun being all wet like that.

Swamp Thing also goes out of its way to make the villains unlikable. A good villain should command respect but also be fun to root for/against. None of that is here with these villains. At the most the main villain isn’t bad. He’s one of those random rich guys who wants to see the world burn. The main villain is really one of his subordinates though who chases Alice around quite a lot. Naturally he is shown to be rather depraved and of course he couldn’t just be a professional trying to earn a paycheck. I get that guys like him will typically end up being the villains since it makes sense, but it doesn’t make any of his scenes work any better.

The best character in the film is definitely the kid who owned the gas station. He was on point and could sniff out danger a mile away. It’s a shame that his gun was defective but there’s no way he could have known that. Even though he was just a kid he did a lot of work and helped get Alice to a safe place. He brought the film a level of charm and wonder that it didn’t have previously. Not enough to save the film or anything like that, but it was still neat.

Overall, Swamp Thing is definitely not a film that I would recommend. The characters aren’t all that smart and Swamp Thing himself looks quite weak. I’m glad he kept in his healing powers, but being able to fight a little more would have been great too. The film drags on a bit and the only good character got a really small amount of screen time. This is definitely one of those movies that you should skip and I’d advise you to check out some of the classic Godzilla films instead if you want to see how a creature should be portrayed. I can guarantee you that at the very least he wouldn’t go down easy like the Swamp Thing.

Overall 3/10

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A.I. Artificial Intelligence Review

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It’s time to look at a rather unique Sci-Fi film that balances a bunch of genres, but mainly focuses on the drama aspect. Unfortunately it suffers from being an overly long, melodramatic film that makes quite a few mistakes. It doesn’t make for a particularly engaging watch and the whole time you will just be wondering where Skynet is. When you watch films with humans worrying about the robots becoming a threat, you look forward to seeing the robots take over. Instead the film is mainly just the humans picking on the robots for a long while with no real payoff of any kind.

The film starts with a couple deciding to adopt a robot kid in place of their real son who is in a coma. This definitely didn’t seem like a reasonable move right from the start. At first you think that this might make sense because you presume their son is dead. (Still a terrible decision as the wife even mentions that it’s like trying to replace their original kid since they bought a robot that looks exactly like the son) but when you find out that he’s alive then the whole thing gets real messy. The worst part is that the husband is the one who decided to get him and once the son gets back he immediately turns on the robot. Breeding robotic kids already seems like a super sketchy business to be honest. Well, the family abandons David so he goes on a journey to find out how to return home, but it could be difficult.

In this world robots aren’t able to fight back against their human oppressors so the humans use this as an excuse to beat them up as much as possible. The robots hopefully can’t really feel pain, but it’s still pretty dark and gruesome to be honest, much like the rest of the film. The whole film just comes across as rather disturbing and very dreary. There is never really a moment where the film feels hopeful or even fun. It’s just a very dull experience where the characters are stuck in a dystopia that they can’t hope to escape. You’ll definitely feel bad for David, but the problem is that he isn’t even an enjoyable character.

David may be an A.I. but he still isn’t very smart. Since he was programmed to be a kid that may serve as an explanation for this, but he doesn’t even know his robotic limitations. He He attempts to eat food when dared to which causes him to shut down and then he doesn’t even know common sense. He shouldn’t even be able to lift a pair of scissors since you’d think that it would register as a weapon and his self defense mechanism doesn’t seem very great to be honest. He also comes across as very ungrateful at the end of the film as he is mean to the beings who find him and is always sulky. Kids can’t really hold their own film and I suppose this still applies even when the kid is robotic.

David meets up with another robot who helps him learn the ways of the world, but that guy isn’t great. His character gimmick is that he is a robot who provides pleasure for the Earthlings, but that doesn’t work out well either. Naturally some other humans don’t like this so they frame him for murder and send him to the robot circus where they are all blown up. David doesn’t even feel bad about ditching this guy which tells you all that you need to know about him. There are no good characters in this film, that’s something you’ll learn very quickly. If you count inanimate objects, which you probably should because once you go into robotics the distinction starts to get a little tricky, then the Teddy Bear is reasonable. He’s another rather dark character with a morbid sense of humor but at least he won’t be backstabbing anyone like the other characters. He seems like a really random character at the start, but by the end he fits in well enough.

The end of the film gets really crazy. I won’t go into detail, but the jump does take us 20K years in the future to see how the Earth ultimately turned out. It’s definitely the optimal timeline if you ask me even if it does seem like the inhabitants probably aren’t having too much fun at this point. I guess you can’t win em all right? At least there shouldn’t be much crime at all anymore. It’s not a great ending or anything, but I guess I can appreciate how out there it all is. Throw in some big fight scenes and maybe the film could have been saved.

At the end of the day, this movie could have been better if it wasn’t so disturbing and creepy the whole time. If you’re going to do a story about Androids and what it means to be human, you need to do it in a better way. I don’t think it works very well if the main android is a kid because then it isn’t able to really handle the themes properly. It just doesn’t work at all and the alternative is to have a film like Terminator where the robots decide to take over the world. Having a twist like that during the second half of the film would have been absolutely amazing. A shame that it didn’t go that way right?

Overall, I would not recommend A.I. While it is a step up from complete flops like 2001: A Space Odyssey, it reminds you why the Sci-Fi genre is best when it doesn’t try to hard to be super deep and emotional. Mixing those two genres just doesn’t work very well so you need to focus on the action aspect or just being a light hearted adventure in the future. Emotional films like this one would likely fail either way, with or without the Sci-Fi angle though. If you want to see a film that just tries to be a Debbie Downer at all times then by all means go for it. Otherwise, I’d suggest just watching Terminator Genysis instead and reminding yourself why these robots can be dangerous and will eventually wipe out humanity.

Overall 1/10

Yugioh VRAINS

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The latest Yugioh series is finally here! I’ve only seen the first episode of this show so far, but it’s already setting up a lot of hype plot points for the future. Make no mistake, this is a show that is certainly going places. It’s already got all the makings of a great show, the only question is how it will fare against the other Yugioh titles. I shall have a review with all of those answers once the show is over.

Overall 8/10

Transformers: Power of the Primes Review

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It’s time to look at the final installment in the online Transformers trilogy! The trilogy has definitely showed a lot of promise at times but has been limited by how short each episode was. It’s a shame because a full length season of Transformers hype with this backdrop could have been really cool. No sense in thinking about the what ifs though. While this season was not quite as good as the last one, it’s still a pretty fun adventure.

Last time Megatronus arrived and showed Megatron’s crew a glimpse of his power. He’s on a level that none of the other bots could really comprehend. Megatron decides that the team needs to grab the legendary blaster along with whatever other ancient weapons can be found. Optimus Primal agrees to help them but makes it clear that if the situation gets dangerous he will ditch them. The heroes accept these terms and prepare for their final battle. Meanwhile Overlord and Rodimus Prime continue to destroy all robots in their path as they look for Megatron. Eventually all of the fighters find themselves in the big climax.

The show dug itself into a big hole with the final episode of the 2nd series. The issue is that they made Megatronus too powerful. Not only does he have greater physical power than the combiners, but he has the greatest speed stat out of all the robots as well. This makes it so that no fighter can reasonably hope to challenge him and win. What the show does is quickly get rid of his speed in this season and on the whole that works as a big nerf. Suddenly everyone can fight him and the heroes even pin the guy down for quite a while. It’s a bit of a shame, but completely expected since he was simply too powerful. Megatronus is still a great villain though and I like the design.

Overlord also finally gets to have his closure with his subplot about taking down Megatron. Naturally the Decepticon is a little preoccupied at the moment, but Overlord certainly doesn’t care about what is convenient for his arch nemesis. He’s definitely a strong fighter and the show does a good job of depicting that he is a heavy weight. I do think Megatron would defeat him in a fair fight, but it would be a close battle. Overlord certainly does tend to win any fight that he is involved in.

Then we’ve got Rodimus Prime who ends up being controlled by Unicron. It’s certainly a bit of a change in dynamic there as initially you just think of him as an evil version of himself. I wonder if the show always meant for him to be Unicron or if that was changed for some reason. Either way he does make for a good villain although I didn’t care much for his redesign at the end. I thought his normal design looked good as it was. I dare say that he could might have even been stronger than Overlord and Megatron by the end although it’s hard to say since he fought a souped up Primal and that guy didn’t fight anyone else so it’s hard to compare them all. It’s unfortunate for Rodimus though as his ending definitely isn’t very happy.

Meanwhile Megatron makes for a good leader. It was definitely fun seeing him take over for Prime for once. Of course it wouldn’t be so out of place in the comics, but as far as the shows go this was definitely a very new take. Considering who he was teaming with Megatron is definitely the perfect pick for the leader. He gets the job done and has the power needed to back up his command decisions. The rest of the team would have been completely lost without him.

The most annoying character in the series is definitely still Perceptor. He seems to only be around to get in the way. Even while the characters are fighting to the death he is worried about his tech and yells things like “Be careful guys!” This guy is completely unrealistic and doesn’t seem to care about the lives of his friends. That makes it impossible to root for him and at the end of the day you want him off the team. To date he has not had any moment that has made him even close to being a likable character.

Windblade is still solid although her role here is certainly smaller than in the last 2 seasons. While she initially seemed to be more of a leader figure or at least one of the most important characters, that role was given to Megatron so she isn’t left with a whole lot to do. She is still around for the whole season of course, but at this point none of her weapons can even singe the armor of the villains so she isn’t all that helpful.

One of the big guest stars here was Optimus Primal of course and he definitely comes out of nowhere. I’d say that he was a fun character, but he does come across as rather annoying the whole time. He is very quick to try and ditch everyone, but surely he must realize how futile that would be. The villains would inevitably go after him next and he isn’t strong enough to stop them. Helping the heroes is his best chance at ultimately keeping the blaster safe which is his purpose. Also, he definitely should have taken the shot against Megatronus considering that targets don’t get much easier than that. He ends up being really strong, but as a character it is hard to root for him.

We certainly do get a lot of action here which is nice. The climax has a lot of fun moments and the energy blasts always stand out. It is impressive to see Megatronus just rip his opponents apart. I do think the Autobots should look into making their heads a little more secure though given how easy they seem to be to pry apart. In particular this doesn’t end up boding very well for Victorion but I’m confident that the writers just don’t like her at this point. She looks so terrible across all of the seasons of the show that it can’t be accidental. They certainly succeeded since I’m not a fan of her either. The whining can be a little endearing in a comical sense at times, but that’s about it.

Ultimately you may wonder why the Dinobots were added. They were fun to have around of course, but aside from Grimlock the others were just around to get wrecked. Even Grimlock didn’t look all that good for the most part. I do appreciate the fact that the series brought so many people in but it did seem to be more out of obligation than anything else. Even Predaking showed up very briefly for some quick destruction scenes and a fight.

The writing is pretty solid throughout. The script takes itself seriously and works well in constantly showing that the heroes don’t really have a chance without overdoing it. The show isn’t very heavy handed in that respect. Even the characters I don’t like aren’t super annoying or anything aside from Perceptor who is fairly unbearable the whole time. I would be interested in this creative team tackling another show someday but with an actual budget and full length episodes. I think at the end of the day an important thing to note is that the episodes didn’t drag on. It would be hard for them to do so, but nonetheless it was a fun ride.

While the animation still looks like really old PS1 graphics, I still do like it. It’s pretty nostalgic and works well for the mecha. It would never beat any really solid traditional animation style, but it’s still not something that I’d consider as a weakness for the show. It’s clunky and it does make it difficult on the show with the fight scenes since nobody can be too agile but it’s still vibrant for the blasters. It also does get the dark color scheme across pretty well like in the image below.
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Overall, The trilogy is now over. It’ll certainly be forgotten rather quickly and didn’t end up making much of a name for itself but it was a fun ride. At the very least it doesn’t take a whole lot of time since the episodes are so short and there are only 10 episodes. Even watching all 3 seasons back to back wouldn’t take very long either. It does end on a cliffhanger but it’s barely even worth noting since it won’t amount to very much. The odds of this getting a sequel are slim to none. I think the best way to look at this show is as if it’s just a promo trying to get you interested in the franchise. It’s a movie that was split into many different parts to pad it out a bit but if you merge it all then it makes for a fun film that will admittedly feel a little rushed since the plot will change many times during the adventure. If you’re a big Transformers fan then you should certainly check it out. Otherwise it’s probably best to start with a different one like Transformers Prime.

Overall 7/10

The Mole People Review

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It’s time to look at a really old film featuring everyone’s least favorite retro monster…The Mole People. I’ve never really found these guys to be all that interesting to be honest. Their designs aren’t much better than the average human’s and they don’t seem to pose much of a threat. Still, a film around them could prove promising I suppose but they better be cleaning shop and wrecking the humans.

The film starts off with a 9 minute intro of an old man trying to lay down the hard facts about how the Earth is layered. He explains about the heat and volcanoes but does so in an incredibly bored voice. This whole segment is definitely not necessary in the film and only serves to curb your enthusiasm going into it. This preview just had no sense of direction or energy at all and I can imagine people slowly connecting the dots in the theatre at this point that they had just wasted their money.

We then get the actual start to the movie as the three diggers find some ancient ruins thanks to a local kid. There was a 4th digger but he wasn’t watching where he was going as ends up falling to his death. The others hurry after him but then realize that they are stuck as well. The caves seem man made though which makes the main characters a little suspicious. It turns out that an ancient civilization of humans live down here where they have enslaved the Mole Men. They are quickly convinced that the main characters are agents of their god but know this myth cracks the main characters will be in grave danger. They’ve got to get out of here!

As these humans have never seen light before, the flashlight is incredibly useful against them. Just a quick flash will blind them and cause their whole army to retreat. The tough part is that the flashlight will run out of battery soon and the heroes like keeping it on to comfort themselves. It’s a dangerous move but if they are confident about it then so I will be as well.

One thing that definitely doesn’t help the movie’s case from the start is the fact that the Mole Men have actually been enslaved and must do the bidding of the humans. That takes away from them being the main villains completely. Thanks to the climax we also learn that they have super strength and can easily destroy the humans with a single blow. We also see them easily drag some humans into the ground throughout the film. It’s just hard to believe that they would be turned into slaves like this and it’s a poor direction for the film to go into.

This is where the film is just mean spirited as we see them beaten repeatedly. The main characters show up to help them once in a while but naturally when they are not there you can imagine that the beatings continue. Even the ending is rather mean spirited as one of the main characters gets crushed by a rock. Keep in mind that this is at the very end of the film once they were past the danger. What’s the point of letting this character die and effectively giving the villains a win? I certainly don’t think that was a good idea and just makes the ending a downer.

From the 3 main characters at the beginning, the old man was definitely very annoying. He was constantly panicking and running around. The guy was a liability the whole time and how did he not realize that one of the Mole Men has scratched 3 large gashes through his chest? It was hard to feel bad for him when the villains inevitably found him because he nearly destroyed the whole party. While the other 2 characters were better, they weren’t all that smarter. They were quick to eat the mushrooms which they should have suspected were probably drugged since the villagers really didn’t like them. They didn’t have a whole lot of eating options of course, but another such moment is when they put down the flashlight all by itself instead of holding on to it. Rookie move. At least they could fight though.

Naturally the cave also makes for a very boring backdrop. There’s just not much to actually look at since the film is so dark and it’s just an excuse for the film to get away with a minimal amount of sets. Well, there are definitely worse backdrops than a cave so this isn’t a serious complaint or anything. As far as negatives go it is certainly all the way at the bottom of the list.

Overall, This is definitely a very weak movie and not one that you are very likely going to remember. The Mole Men are incredibly weak and the human villains are not particularly distinct in any way. The human characters are generic but not in a good way and the really boring intro doesn’t do the film any favors. I don’t think anyone is watching this film for a chance to see the humans enslaving more populations so this movie just doesn’t give us the story that we want. It is also worth mentioning that the romance is very tacked on for this film. I would advise skipping this movie and checking out one of the many better monster films out there like Gamera.

Overall 3/10

Star Wars Omnibus Volume 2: A Long Time Ago Review

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It’s been a while since I read the first Star Wars Omnibus but now the second one is here. It adapts the second movie so I’m guessing that the third one will wrap up the original trilogy. The volume also has its own plot going on with some connected stories and a few that are essentially stand alone. It’s a fun collection and I’m sure fans were glad to have these issues around while waiting for the next movie.

One of the main plots is about Han Solo. Jabba The Hut still has a large bounty on his head so Solo wants to clear the debt. He actually does manage to find Jabba and forces him into dropping the bounty. Unfortunately as soon as Solo leaves the bounty is placed on once again. It’s definitely the best plot in the volume though simply because Han is the most enjoyable character whenever he pops up. You just have to like his confidence. When the other characters are panicking he is coming up with more plans. Han also doesn’t hesitate in launching an attack against Darth Vader even if it is unsuccessful. Of course with how the volume ends it could be a little while before Han shows up again so definitely enjoy his appearances here while you can. That should not be very difficult though.

Meanwhile Darth Vader also gets his own subplot as he chases after Luke and the gang. He lands on one planet where a cyborg has decided to silence the only informant who knows the name of the person who destroyed the Death Star. Vader needs that name so naturally the two come to blows. Vader is basically untouchable here as you would expect but I do give the guy props for effort. He held Vader back long enough for the informant to get away. It was a rather dark ending though as the only way for the guy to get away was to die. It’s one of the few times where Vader was foiled, but he still did win he fight.

Another fun Vader comic is when he shows up on a bank planet for diplomacy at the same time Leia arrives. No weapons are allowed on this planet so both sides have to try and outsmart the other in different ways. It’s a big game of mental chess between be two sides with the highest of stakes. As you can probably guess Vader tends to have the edge here, but to say that Leia lost would be a simpflication. She still achieved her objective, she simply wasn’t able to prevent Vader from doing he same so if anything it is a bit of a draw. A very unique Star Wars comic through and through.

Then we have the big movie adaption which covers the film in great detail. It does a good job of getting those who only read the comics up to speed on what is happening. You certainly can’t say that you missed out on what happened at the very least. It quickly switches art styles for the event which was interesting. The new art certainly felt very Marvel esque which was cool. I do think the normal art probably wins but both were quite good. Naturally the highlight of the film adaption is the big battle between Luke and Vader. Beyond that the story holds up pretty well in all of the other scenes as well and is just a good adventure.

Lando seems to have taken Han’s place as one of the main focuses in the series. In his subplot he is flying around and scouting strong fighters for the resistance while just looking for anything that could be helpful. His comic probably felt the most random out of them all as he meets a retired super hero who has decided to stop with the heroics and now he is just a guy who tries to stay out of the way. Lando gives him a speech and the guy realizes the folly of his ways. Not a bad comic but a bit weaker than some of the old ones.

In general I do think that some of the final stories were a bit weaker than the early ones but it’s a fairly small sample size and the Leia vs Vader comic is an obvious exception. Most likely the series will stay pretty consistent even without Han Solo to back it up. I’m looking forward to seeing Luke a little more now that he knows how to fight pretty well. In theory there is no excuse for him to lose to just about anyone now. He is the true last Jedi after all.

A pair of characters who were fun while they lasted were the dictators in the first few issues. One was blinded by Vader and now has to wear cyber goggles while the other one isn’t brave at all and so he is content to be the 2nd in command. These villains may not have been the strongest ones out there, but at least the main one had a lightsaber which made for some pretty good fights. It’s why the first half of the arc was my favorite as we had Han causing mayhem everywhere and these villains popping in more than a few times. Perhaps they will return at some point. In general the character cast in this volume was quite solid.

As I mentioned before the art is pretty solid. The characters all look right and the art is easy to follow. It complements the fast pace of the issues and also works pretty well for the fight scenes. The writing is on point as well with a lot of clever dialogue from all of the characters. I’d certainly expect no less.

Overall, This is definitely a great follow-up to the last installment. Han will be missed, but the series will live on. If you are a big fan of the movies then you definitely need to check these out. If you haven’t watched the movies yet then you’ll quickly get caught up on what is happening over the course of the first few issues and will still be able to enjoy it. It’s just a quality sci-fi action story so I can recommend it to anyone. Hopefully the third volume continues to be just as strong.

Overall 7/10

The Mysterians Review

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It’s time to look at a really old school Sci-Fi film. This one came out back in the Godzilla days during the late 50s. It’s even made by some of the same people from that title so you could be sure to expect quality confirmed. It plays out just like you would expect it to and is certainly an entertaining movie. You’re sure to enjoy it as the film is quite fast paced with a lot of fun dialogue.

The plot of the movie starts off by showing us some people not getting along too well at a parade/event of sorts. We don’t have time for this drama though as a large alien kaiju (Moguera) shows up to decimate the planet. The government manages to destroy this Kaiju as expected, but then aliens show up and say that this is the first of many. Unless we surrender land and people to them they will destroy us all. Naturally Earth won’t go down without a fight so we gather our tanks and planes as we prep a counter attack. It’s hype time!

I fortunately saw the dub version. The film is definitely played off as a comedy here as the actors have a lot of fun voicing the characters. You can tell that these guys had a lot of passion in the project as they would say things very directly. It was like a google translate version of the script. Everyone sounds a little off and naturally none of the voices seem to match, but that’s part of the film’s charm. It should have you cackling and chuckling throughout the entire movie. Even aside from the dub the movie plays out like a comedy at times with the monster getting destroyed simply by falling while on a bridge and then by trying to rise from the ground only for the rocket to squash him. It’s easy to poke fun at the robot’s design as well, but he tries very hard. I did like the robot and actually felt bad for him since the humans were simply too persistent. Moguera didn’t ask for this!

One issue with the film though is that they made the aliens a little too strong. As a result, it’s hard to believe it when thy actually lose to the humans at the end. They were shown to be able to spy on the humans and listen in to their conversations at will. How did they not notice when the humans built two death ray weapons (In the span of a day) and when they were transporting it over. Even once it arrived it should have been easy to shoot it down but they didn’t until it was too late. Apparently they can create flash floods at the push of a button so why didn’t they do so right away? At times you will just be wondering what they were thinking. I guess we have to assume that the aliens weren’t very smart and honestly that is probably a good bet, but even so they should have won this round.

The humans aren’t very interesting in comparison. The two heroines definitely look really bad here as they allow the villains to kidnap them without even yelling in protest. They don’t struggle and simply faint at the sight of the villains. It’s not as if the bad guys were grotesque aliens either. They looked like normal aliens in Power Ranger esque costumes. Nothing scary about that and the heroines could have easily escaped. Allowing themselves to be held hostage like that wasn’t very smart and it also made them a liability to the army. Well….lets be honest, the army barely cared and didn’t stop their assault, but that’s not the point. The heroines couldn’t really redeem themselves from that.

The main guy wasn’t bad though. At least he was smart enough to rush into the enemy base to blast them. The base shouldn’t have been so easy to breech but maybe the bad guys were so intent on building high tech weapons that they skipped on the basics like installing cameras and the like. If so that was a big mistake. I definitely didn’t like the traitor though. He acts as if he was tricked by the end, but I definitely don’t buy that. He simply wanted to make sure that he was on the winning side in the end and that’s not a great reason to switch sides. You can’t just betray the Human race and then decide to come back. It’s simply way too late by that point and there wasn’t much that the character could do to come back from that. It was simply all over for him by then.

I certainly enjoyed the government here though. Sure, they may not have had much of a plan at first as they just kept grabbing more tanks to fire at the enemy, but at least they didn’t even entertain the thought of co-operating with the aliens. The Aliens shot first so of course we have to respond in kind. America also looked really good here as they showed up and started taking names. We even came up with the plans for the death ray or at the very least the guy who brought the plans in certainly sounded American. Again, I have to give the dub credit for the voices here. They were hilarious throughout and show what a difference a good dub can do. It just makes the film flow that much better.

Overall, There really aren’t any weaknesses to point out in the film. The Mysterians manages to be solid all the way through. It’s a fun film with good pacing that really flies by. Moguera looks good while he is around. The design may not be scary or anything like that, but I’m always up for a giant robot to appear as it just makes the film more exciting. The ending leaves a little room for a sequel, but at this point we know that the aliens are doomed and they likely wouldn’t be able to even put up as good of a fight in a 2nd bout. They showed us their limits while we can reverse engineer their tech and get even better. Humanity wins once again. If you haven’t seen this film yet then I highly recommend doing so. You don’t want to miss out on the hype.

Overall 7/10

20 Million Miles to Earth Review

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It’s time to look at a really old creature feature film. Unfortunately this isn’t one of the better ones and is in fact a particularly weak one. It resorts to bottom of the barrel tropes like animal violence and so the film quickly goes downhill. from there. You just can’t add in animal violence and expect to do well. Also, it doesn’t help that the monster didn’t really have a great design. He looked sort of like the gill man when he should have gone for a more authentic Godzilla design. I suppose you can’t win them all though.

The basic plot is that a group of local fishers are having a good time when they notice a rocket crash land into the water. They quickly head on over to investigate it and they are able to save one of the people inside. The others all died to a plague from Venus, but they still did take the time to take one of the animals over from there. Unfortunately a local boy named Pepe stole the animal and sold him (Keep in mind that the animal is till in egg form) to a local scientist for a pair of fake guns. The army doesn’t know this and is intent on finding the animal quickly. Turns out that they won’t have to look far though as the oxygen on Earth is having a peculiar effect on the creature and it is now growing very rapidly. If it keeps on going at this pace then thousands may perish. (Seems like hyperbole but one of the characters said so.)

It’s very by the books as far as the plot is concerned. The creature goes on a rampage and starts breaking stuff so the heroes have to put an end to it. The humans are all consumed by greed though and so they keep letting the creature get away. They want to contain it rather than destroy the beast because it can be useful for scientific study. This continues even when the monster is murdering people. One guy is literally getting bit to death while they just watch because they don’t want to hurt the monster. The big irony here is that bullets don’t work on the creature anyway so they were worried for nothing. It still makes you wonder about their principles though. The Italian government were the ones in the right here as the Americans just looked pretty bad the whole time. Even once they captured the beast to keep zapping him the whole time they let him break out and then a bunch of other people perished. So much for that eh?

Pepe is also a very annoying kid. In fact, he’s pretty much exactly what you expect whenever a kid shows up. They just tend to be rather annoying the whole time as they hide things from the grownups and keep trying for more and more money. He just holds everyone back. I’d say that the main fisher was probably the best character. He’s the only one who actually wanted to help the people from the crash while everyone else was too busy trying to escape. Certainly not the bravest thing to do in the middle of that. Of course, these characters aren’t here to be likable and they typically aren’t all that smart either.

Take Marisa, the doctor in training. She is in charge of looking after the 2 people from the crash, but one of them is unfortunately dying. The first guy, Calder quickly tries to wake up the second one to get answers, but she keeps telling him to leave the guy alone. Decent advice I guess, but since the guy is dying it isn’t like there is actually going to be a later. Then it makes sense to get all of the answers right away. She goes back and forth with Calder on this quite a lot until a random romance pops up and you wonder why once again romance was forced into a film for no real reason. It certainly didn’t add anything to the film and aside from a few very brief scenes it never actually goes anywhere. It’s just around for kicks.

The actual doctor isn’t very intelligent either. First he leaves the moving egg by itself as he goes to take a nap. Then after putting it in the cage he goes to sleep again and the monster has almost grown too large for his cage. What he does next is leave once again to go talk to Pepe and then decides to take a long trip to Rome. Did he really think that the monster would simply stop growing or that it would peacefully let them take it to Rome? Clearly this guy must be a self proclaimed doctor since I would expect him to be a lot smarter if his degree was actually legitimate.

The writing isn’t terrible, but it’s just nothing inspired. You could take some of the dialogue here and place it into almost any other monster film. It will work just fine because of how generic it is. Anyway, all of that could have been forgiven if not for the animal violence. As if once wasn’t bad enough they decide to go through with this twice. Perhaps it is the only way to show what a threat this monster is supposed to be, but picking on the humans would have been a better way of getting that across if you ask me.

Overall, I have to give this film a hard thumbs down. The creature isn’t very interesting and the characters are nothing special. Not only are they not quite as on the ball as a classic lead from other films, but their priorities are completely misplaced. The fact that they are okay with a bunch of people dying if it means that they get to study the monster just shows that these guys have no scruples. The whole situation makes it hard to root for the heroes, but you can’t root for the monster either so then what is there to do? Not much except to quickly shut off the movie. I’d certainly advise you to stick away from this one unless you want to get bored. If you need to see a film about a monster, go watch one of the Godzilla films. Those tend to deliver on the action front which this one could not. Also, who thought it would be a god idea to make the monster look really old and weak by giving him a mustache?

Overall 2/10

Earth Vs. The Flying Saucers Review

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It’s time to look at a really old alien film. This is the kind of flick that will remind you why aliens are so scary in the first place. They can’t be reasoned with and just want to take over every planet that gets in their way. You don’t want to mess with these guys and the humans have to desperately scramble to stop them. It’s an entertaining film that may not have the best lead, but still hits most of the right notes.

The film starts off with Russell sending another rocket into space. It’s been a futile mission as so far each missile has been sent right back down to Earth. At this point he is just wasting money and a general tells him this, but the lead refuses to listen. He will keep on sending the missiles into space and nobody can stop him! As he drives away with Carol, a UFO shows up which changes things a bit. They are now readying their invasion force to take over the Earth. Russell will have to build a super laser to shut them down, but can he really invent such a thing or is he already doomed?

As you can tell I thought Russell was rather slow on the uptake. If a bunch of missiles keep losing contact as soon as they are sent out, why would you send more without actually fixing anything about them? The main characters finally decide to add a camera to the last one so they can find out what is happening, but shouldn’t a camera have been there right from the start? It seems to me that for a mission of such importance you would want to document everything at all times.

Russell’s big slip up was in meeting up with the aliens privately. Carol and the army guy do manage to catch him so they all end up being threatened by the aliens as a team. I’ll give the army guy some credit for actually firing at the aliens while in the ship. They might as well go down swinging right? Russell is the one who puts the group in danger constantly. For example, he knew that a little energy orb had been spying on him for the last few weeks and that random lights would show up in the sky, but he thought nothing of them. It seems like nothing would cause him to show even a little bit of the usual alarm that you would expect from a reasonable main character. He may get to run the victory lap at the end, but he certainly put the Earth in quite the predicament.

Meanwhile I can’t say that I was a big fan of Carol. Mainly because she was quick to rat out Russell when he was trying to escape the base. Whether she agreed with him or not, such a call would probably have him arrested and it’s not like she had a better idea. When you make a call to betray someone like that, it’s a big decision. The characters forget about this pretty quick, but that could have been a very damaging moment for them.

I do have to give the army some props for shooting the aliens right away. Obviously that isn’t usually a good idea since the aliens hadn’t actually done anything yet, but we weren’t going to be pushed around this time. Usually when the army shoots first it turns out that the aliens were actually good guys so this was a good way of flipping that around real quick. Too bad their tech was so much better than ours as otherwise it could have been a pretty even fight. We didn’t hesitate to fire off our rockets and heavy armaments either so the world was ready.

There is some plot hax in the climax though. As I mentioned the aliens do have the superior tech here including ships that can run rings around ours. Their speed is so great that they can appear from nowhere to disintegrate us and then vanish again. How is it that they didn’t notice the humans plotting against them? At the very least you would expect them to have the main characters under surveillance until the invention was built. Leaving the humans alone (Even after they broke the alien spy probe) was just not a smart idea. Even once they knew that the humans were turning violent they sent in one robot instead of blasting the place to smithereens. The humans got lucky and they know it.

We do get some decent action sequences at the end though as we shoot down all of their UFOs. You’ll end up feeling bad for the landmarks though as the aliens make sure to crash into them every time one ship is shot down. By the end of the fight I feel like the city will look a whole lot different. I suppose some damage is expected when saving the world though. I also like to think that the aliens made sure to intentionally hit these spots just to at least get a little petty consolation victory. If only they had just tried destroying us all when they had the chance!

Overall, This was a fun movie. It’s a classic Alien Invasion story filled with suspense and action. The writing for the movie is certainly on point even if the main characters are annoying. The characters you will be rooting for the most will be the government agents. They don’t plan to go down without a fight and talk tough whenever they are on screen. That’s exactly what I like to see and even the Aliens admitted that in a battle for the Earth we would keep fighting til the last man. Humanity got its props here.

Overall 7/10

Abbott and Costello Go To Mars Review

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The next film to discuss is an Abbott and Costello film. It has certainly been a while since I reviewed the last one and this movie features aliens in it so how could it not be good? Unfortunately it is one of the weaker installments. Still a good film but one that definitely suffers from a weak climax. The whole time you can’t help but think that they should have stuck to Earth.

The film starts with Orville swinging a plane around. I suppose he is either a volunteer teacher with the orphanage or more likely, he is just a kid at heart and always comes over to play during recess. It is unfortunate for him though because the kids are all a lot smarter than he is and they love rubbing this fact in his face. This leads to Orville accidentally throwing the plane through a window. The cops manage to show up but Orville outruns them to a corporate office where he impersonates a distinguished rocket expert for as long as he can. This just doesn’t fly and right he real one tries to beat him up. They fight a while but then Orville jumps in the space ship and blasts away with the custodian. One thing’s for sure, he’s not on Earth anymore…right?

One thing that is always risky for a film is to use up the best scene early on but that’s exactly what this one did. The fight between Orville and the expert was really solid as the sound effect for each slap was as good as it gets. You felt the power and weight of each blow to the point where the final one actually knocked Orville through a wall. If that’s not power then I don’t know what is. I have to say that I was rooting for the old guy so I’m glad that he took the win.

A good chunk of the film is the two characters (A guy named Lester ends up coming along) running around and panicking at everything. They don’t really understand what a mask is but in their defense the masks seemed to be rather high quality. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the film’s budget went to them. Rather than pull off a bunch of quick jokes this film opts to just play a few of them for as long as possible. This isn’t really a sound strategy since if you don’t like the joke then the scene will last forever and even if you do like it you may find the joke starts to get repetitive. It’s definitely a rather tough balance but for the most part this series usually gets it right. This one was just a little less interesting.

It was still pretty good when the heroes were running away on Earth. It went off the deep end once they got to Venus. The planet is apparently an Amazonian paradise that has eradicated all of the men. Naturally Orville is able to charm them into letting him stay somehow. The whole plot is just sad as the characters convince him to cheat in order to convince the Queen to bring back the ban against men. While concocting such a plan is probably a good idea, they should have had a different strategy. Pretty much every scene on Venus was brutal and as you might expect the romance was terrible.

Then we have the random subplot where two crooks decide to impersonate the main characters until they can imprison them and head to space. Clearly these guys are rather fearless since they aren’t afraid of being blasted into dust for their arrogance. They don’t really add anything to the film though. It seems that the movie was trying to play them off as dark versions of the main characters but they just felt really redundant from the start.

None of the characters are smart of course which is the whole point of the series but you still can’t help but feel bad for the inventor of the rocket. He waited his whole life for such a chance only to have the main character steal it away. That’s just cruel and especially when you consider how much money it would have cost to build another one in those days. That’s probably the end for his career.

I also feel that I have to point out the stock footage that is used in this film. You wouldn’t really expect such a thing out of a big name title like the Abbott and Costello series right? The scene where the rocket enters the Lincoln Tunnel happens twice and maybe the film was pretty proud of that special effect but you never want to play a scene twice like that. (With a few exceptions I suppose)

Overall, This was probably the weakest in the Abbott and Costello films. The whole second half felt unorganized and rather pointless. The first half was good but it just didn’t last long enough. What we did see back on Earth just makes the whole film more tragic since you see all of the potential that it once had. If you are a big fan of the series then I would recommend checking it out. If you have not seen any films in this series then it probably isn’t a good idea to start with this one as it won’t necessarily give you the right idea if the series. It just doesn’t have that usual charm you would expect from this series.

Overall 6/10