Tag Archives: Thriller

Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 Review

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All right if someone asked me if I could survive 5 nights at Freddy’s I would definitely say yes. The animatronics are slow and clunky so that’s not a problem. If they asked me if I could survive 5 more nights? Well now that’s getting tricky. The monsters in this film seem to be considerably more powerful than in the first film although I would say that they are still under the average horror title. For that reason nobody in this film is really putting up much of a fight most of the time.

The film starts off with Mike trying his best to forget the events of the first film. He figures the best way to do this is to gaslight Abby into thinking that he will fix the old robots when he doesn’t plan to. Then on the side Mike is trying his best to fix Vanessa from all of her childhood trauma but Mike doesn’t really have the temperament for such a journey. Eventually his plans fall through and Abby runs back into Freddy’s to bring her friends back while Vanessa heads over for some closure. Unfortunately they both end up bringing something far darker back into the world. And yes…there are now two Freddy’s locations.

This is definitely one of those films where everyone looks pretty bad which is what the villains are able to capitalize on. For example in the first flashback scene we see how William wasn’t exactly subtle in grabbing one of the kids to destroy but even when another kid notices, nobody wants to help. The adults are painfully oblivious and almost go out of their way to ignore the situation. Then once it all happens, we see how the media blamed this on the kid who died. Now that was crazy and it sets the stage for how this is a world without a whole lot of empathy. Everyone is just looking out for themselves here and they don’t want to stick their neck out.

The fact that this happened before the other 5 murders is also crazy because it really shows how William was allowed to do whatever he wanted to do. Now in the present, we’ve got a number of plots going on. For Abby’s, well I feel like she looks really bad here. She wants to bring the robots back since some of them had her friends from the beyond but even in the first film it was always a 50/50 chance at best on if they were actually the kids. Usually they were the evil demon robots so she is risking everyone’s lives for a small chance. Not a smart thing to do.

Abby definitely shouldn’t have been going to Freddy’s by herself. Then we have Mike who comes across as really annoying the whole time. He gets upset with Abby when she notices that he’s been lying a lot and that’s on him. Then even after Vanessa has saved his life on multiple occasions and saved Abby, he still tells her off. There are some things like a life debt which should not be so easily broken. Certainly not in this manner. Mike really needed to lock in more.

He got one good scene where he actually fights one of the animatronics but that’s about it for him. Then we have Vanessa who is dealing with the most issues right now. William is still attacking her through dreams which she just barely manages to survive through. It feels like there is only a matter of time before she falls to him unless she can find a way to destroy him forever. Of course that is not going to be easy.

Then Vanessa has to deal with the new villain of the movie, The Marionette. Unfortunately a gun isn’t going to do a whole lot to this thing. She definitely should have told Mike more about what was going on but I still tend to place more of the blame on him for not taking the news well at all. With the stakes this high, there is no time to be falling apart at the seams.

The Marionette makes for a pretty strong villain. She leaves more of an impact than a lot of the different Freddy creatures and for now I would say she was more impressive than William as well. She has a good amount of space and can basically take control of someone’s body which is a really big deal. I suppose that the name is quite fitting.

On that note, the main Freddy crew don’t get to do quite as much here. They threaten the humans a whole lot and are always on the move but don’t technically produce a whole lot of results. More often than not they are foiled at the last second. The body count is a bit smaller than you may have initially guessed. Also unless you are a hardcore fan you will have some trouble differentiating the designs between the new ones and the old ones even when you see them back to back.

The film does go all in on the jump scares though. There is a lot going on at all times and the characters act super suspicious the whole time. There’s a new night guard named Michael for example who seems ominous the whole time. He’s constantly grinning and seems to know a whole lot about Freddy’s. They’re going to want to keep an eye out for him. So the film knows how to be scary.

Then on the other hand it also has some funny moments. I liked the cab driver who was always ready to break the ice. There’s also a mean science teacher who is a complete antagonist but does a really good job within the role like when he “accidentally” broke a girl’s toy. This guy has clearly been in the game for a long time. The film certainly leans harder on horror than comedy but handles both genres rather well.

The writing and script are certainly not realistic but you can put that to the same camp. The film also still keeps itself from being too violent. It’s maybe a little more violent than the first one but I would say that it was close. There is less focus on all the kids who got murdered from the first film which is a good thing. I would also say that the film’s story is a lot more interesting now that it is embracing all of the crazy characters. It was sad that Golden Freddy didn’t show up but I guess the film was getting rather packed.

There are quite a few clffhangers in the film too which sets up the third film nicely. First up we already have a main villain, then a returning villain shows up, and then a hype message which might signal a third one. In theory it’ll be hard for the heroes to stop these guys next time because there is no longer any kind of an off button. Physically these creatures are mainly still robots so you can mess them up but that requires no tripping or panicking which is rare.

For the next film I would like to see some more action though. One issue I have with this one is that the animatronics all tend to look very slow aside from the Marionette and just don’t seem to be a huge threat. Mike takes one out extremely easily in one scene and it feels like that would work on any of the others as well. So I feel like the next film needs to show them actually fighting and moving a bit quicker to make things scary again.

Overall, I definitely wouldn’t be eating at Freddy’s but the film does a good job of staying scary while adding in a lot of story this time around. The concept of Freddy’s is definitely an intense one. I am glad that the series continues to reign in the violence and doesn’t go for a ton of grit. It would be nice if we could go one film without children being among the fatalities though. This time it was brief and then it was over at least but we don’t need to retread the plots. Since this one hints at a much larger threat looming, it may be time to call in the government. Some may say that would be jumping the shark but I think it would be hype!

Overall 6/10

For Your Eyes Only Review

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It’s time for more James Bond. Now you all may remember 007 as the agent who is constantly on the back foot and getting crushed by all of his adversaries right? Well, that doesn’t change much here as he still gets crushed a lot but I will say he fares slightly better than in other films. It doesn’t take longer than the first 10 minutes or so for him to have to rely on plot armor though. This is a classic Bond film all the way through so if you have liked the prior films then you should enjoy this one as well.

The movie starts off with Blofeld returning to bump Bond off once and for all. He actually comes close but Bond is able to turn over the situation and literally make the guy beg for his life. The real mission starts when some kind of targeting system goes missing so Bond must now grab it before the soviets. He isn’t the only one after the villains though as a lady named Melina wants in on the action as well. Her parents were murdered by the culprits and so she seeks to take them all down. She may not have an all powerful spy network at her disposal but she has a car as well as a gun.

This makes her journey even more impressive with how she gets to one of the villain compounds and murders the leader. Bond isn’t ultra grateful but he was about to be murdered so he should actually be quite happy with her. His license to kill was about to be expired. Melina looks less impressive as she is manipulated into her next destination by the villains but I can’t blame her much because again she is doing all of this on her own. That is considerably different from what Bond has to go through so a trap or two makes sense.

Unfortunately she peeked with the opening fight scene. After that she’s basically just one of the Bond girls. Meanwhile Bond is his same old self. He can’t help but be a flirt in every situation and doesn’t let the gravity of the situation stick. The entire world is at stake and yet he’s still messing around with everybody. I really need Bond to lock in and focus here. The film reminds us about his wife who died and yet he is still having affairs? Not a very good look for him I gotta say.

Now the film doesn’t care much about the plot just like Bond. For the most part Bond just has to follow the dots and eventually get to the right answer so it’s not really a traditional mystery. Bond’s usually just walking when the villains show up to shoot him and then he gets some intel. I feel like they may have gotten away with this if they had just stayed quiet and not made a move. Sure, Bond was getting closer but I don’t think he would have made it in time.

The fight scenes are pretty good though. The series has always done well in this arena and I would say that this movie is no exception to that. The movie generally has a fun tone and even has a sense of humor. The film doesn’t get quite as silly as the last one but still has its moments. So if you’re looking for a fun action thriller then the film succeeds in that arena. You do have to still get around the usual issues though.

Aside from the endless fanservice and meaningless affairs, we also have an ice skating student who really wants Bond. While Bond for once had some class and said no, he is still unable to avoid her entirely. This whole subplot should have been cut because it was just annoying and didn’t need to be here. Additionally, it would have made the villain look a little better by default because one of his goals is basically to get the student which isn’t a great look.

We do get some fakeouts on who the actual villain is though so I appreciate that. Bond even ends up teaming up with one of these guys who is apparently able to keep up. It’s either a good look for that guy or a bad look for Bond. I’ll let you decide which one is more likely here. The Bond films always have the potential to be good here since the action works well. It’s a shame that such potential cannot be realized.

One more silver lining I will throw the film is that the pacing is pretty good. The Bond films all tend to be fairly long but this one doesn’t drag out or anything like that. It actually runs by pretty smoothly and I think in some ways that is because of all the action. It’s hard to drag out when the next combat scene is right around the corner. Bond even takes on an entire hockey team. While the first action scene of the film is played for laughs by the end, it was also still pretty exciting in that way.

As for the soundtrack, well the classic Bond theme is fun as always. That is something that the series really got right. Then we have the new intro song for the film which is supposed to be top tier although I wasn’t a big fan. Generally speaking I suppose I haven’t been a big fan of most of the Bond songs though. They just tend to be a bit too slow and out of energy for me. We need a full rock theme already.

Overall, The film fittingly ends on a note where a parrot is able to successfully outsmart M16 and troll for a bit. They eventually catch up and cut the feed but it’s too late by then. As bad as Bond can be at focusing, I dare say that the agency is worse with how they constantly panic at every opportunity. Every little thing seems to shake them up which is not good for such a large spy organization. I would expect better from them. The last film is definitely more exciting with the space climax though, we’ll see how the next film fares.

Overall 4/10

The Cross and the Switchblade

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This is a film that I’ve certainly heard a lot about over the years even if I hadn’t gotten to watch the film until now. The true events were a really big deal after all so that only makes sense. The film definitely captures how dangerous the environment was in NYC back in the day. Certainly not the kind of place you’d want to be walking around without a plan. Without divine intervention, David would not have been making it out of there alive either.

The film starts off with David hearing about a group of thugs who had attacked someone in the park. He tries to see them in court but is blocked from visitation and forced to turn away. He doesn’t want to just leave without a fight like this though and so he looks around the city for opportunities to turn the troubled youth over a new leaf. He means to introduce them into Christianity so that they will finally have a true purpose beyond their empty lives. Fortunately, he meets a girl named Bo who is able to get him into the gang bases to meet with their leaders. David also runs into a small congregation whose pastor takes him in. Now Davis can focus on getting the word out.

Right away you can see how everything had to go perfectly for David to have even had a chance here. The gangs could have easily murdered him at any time and it’s not like there would be anyone who could have stopped them. The gangs may not have literally ruled the city but they certainly had a lot of momentum. It wasn’t a popular move to get in their way and David was being very aggressive with his approaches. David wasn’t here to be subtle and so he would challenge them to their face. His final goal was to get all of the gangs inside a room with him to convert them at once and really make sure there was no room for escape. In most cases this would have been fatal.

David had God’s blessing in this from the start and so everything turned out well. He was really able to touch their hearts and not only left with his life intact, but knowing that he redeemed many souls. So the film has a happy ending there and is a very uplifting story in general. The fact that this happened in real life is a true miracle, definitely not something that can be downplayed or explained rationally. God is the only answer to a difficult situation like this.

Now the film is aiming to be as realistic as possible and for that reason it can be rather gritty. We see how the teens are all just addicted to the violence. They all hold serious grudges against each other to the point where they are always bloodthirsty. They are even quick to turn against their own members for any perceived moments of cowardice. This leads one of their members to fall to his doom. Each person also has to watch their backs at all times because the other gangs seek to attack them from behind, get them into traps, etc.

Then you have a bunch of drug dealers taking advantage of the chaos as well. Rosa gets trapped into this and is the film’s main subplot. She has a really hard time kicking the addiction and just when it seems like she has gotten out, she is sucked right back in. It’s definitely one of those plots that is tough to watch because she really should have been safe after the first time but then allowed herself to fall back into the same cycle. She let the bad moment get to her which is why you need a particularly strong anchor to fight such urges. The kind of anchor you are absolutely not going to get from your own strength.

I was also glad that David had some allies here. The church pastor and his wife were both very helpful to David. It absolutely makes a world of difference to have a place to rest as opposed to sleeping inside the car the whole time. Additionally, Bo was also helpful in being able to lead David around so he wasn’t just wandering. He had a lot of help that God presented to him and then faith had to take the rest of the way.

As long as you’re wearing the armor of the Lord then you will be protected at all times. It can be difficult to resist fear in the moment but it was absolutely rewarded here. David really never took a step back. The pacing and writing for the film are both pretty good. There is going to be a bit of shock value here as the film did not want to tone down the way that the gang members would talk at all. So you’ll be on the edge of your seat here even when you know that a positive ending is coming up. I do think it would be nice to have a version for kids at some point so they can also experience the story. There have certainly been many plays and such that go through the plot but I don’t think there was another big movie.

Overall, The Cross and the Switchblade is a powerful film to watch about how miracles still happen. You need to really watch it if you just don’t have hope for the future. It’s not a film I would recommend for younger viewers due to the violence and dark themes though. So for now just watch it if you’re old enough to handle this kind of story. Sometimes it can be hard to logically process a miracle and that’s fine. I would even argue that it should be that way because they defy logic. So seeing a film like this can be helpful as you are able to really visualize the kind of atmosphere that David walked into and was able to walk out of in complete victory.

Will Penny Review

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It’s time for a wild west film and you know how those can always be very hit or miss. Unfortunately this is one of the misses. It doesn’t really hit on any of the strong notes that you need to reach to surpass the genre. The characters tend to make some bad decisions and while it’s hard to play a perfect round back in the wild west where there was no law and order, it did feel like some of these issues were very avoidable.

The movie starts by introducing us to Will who is a classic work hand. He goes from job to job and is good at what he does but there is a lot of competition and not a lot of jobs left. He had a chance to go on a trip with the crew but selflessly gives up his spot to another guy who wanted to visit his father. Will travels with Blue and Dutchy and they end up in a firefight with another group over an animal. Will’s team shoots down one of the attackers but the rest swear revenge. On Will’s side, one of his teammates is injured so he looks for help. In the meantime he also gets a job to protect a part of someone’s large territory but now a lady named Catherine and her son Horace are living there. Will feels bad about throwing them out but eventually the guy who owns this property is going to find out and then things will go very badly. How can Will get out of this situation.

First off, I have to say that Catherine doesn’t play this situation very smart at all. She is exceptionally lucky that Will is such a nice guy because many others would have just shot her on sight at minimum. The penalty for letting a stranger live on these premises could easily be death and people aren’t generally going to take that chance. Will even tries to give her a few days to leave but Catherine is insistent on not going anywhere. It just seems like a terrible strategy to go with when you’re not a fighter and there is no man on the premises.

Catherine’s first instinct is even to say that she’s all alone. Why would you give out that kind of information? Her son Horace means well too but he’s just a young kid and is not going to be doing much here. Catherine was ultimately ditched by her tour guide and her husband seems to have no intention of returning so just surviving will be difficult. It’s the wild west so even going into town isn’t a great option but you feel like she needs to do something and get away from the area. Taking your chances in town may be for the best.

Meanwhile Will does his best with looking after her but he is breaking all of the rules of a job that he just got. His sympathy may be a little too high here. It was also annoying to see him getting jumped so quickly. When you’re outnumbered, you need to fire as soon as possible. He gets a few of the villains at gunpoint but then hesitates and gets knocked out. There is no room for compassion here. It may be a hard thing to hear but, in a life or death situation it is you against the other guy. Whoever hesitates is absolutely not going to survive.

Will’s character is portrayed to be a really nice one throughout but this is the double edged blade of it. As for the romance in the film, he knows that Catherine is a married woman from the start so he is very wary about getting involved. That’s the right attitude. Her husband may not appear to be a good guy but until that is officially dissolved then there is nothing you can do. He can be a good friend to her but if she is trying to start a romance then he has to get out of there. Nothing good comes from living next to temptation.

It takes him a long while to get his mind wrapped around that but ultimately, he does and that helps the ending even if it’s portrayed in more of a somber way. Nobody here really gets a super happy ending because they’re all going to be struggling a lot. At least they are alive though which could have easily gone the other way. The film feels like two different movies though when it’s about Will and Catherine vs when he’s hanging out with his friends.

Blue and Dutchy are gone for so long that you almost forget they are in this film until they show up in the climax. It was good to see them, but man did they take their time. There was certainly no sense of urgency among them that’s for sure. They did come in clutch though because Will was not going to be able to fight off everyone in the climax otherwise. His new coworkers showed up after everything was all settled. I thought the film was about to give us one more fight but they were reasonable.

I suppose part of why the film fails here is because of how troubled the romance is. A lot of time is spent on Will and Catherine getting closer but you really can’t root for this at all because of her married status. For a while there you assume that maybe she was lying since she didn’t trust him. Would have been a smart deception to be honest but that’s not how it played out. So the scenes aren’t as charming as they would have been otherwise.

Then the villains tend to be annoying and get a whole lot of screentime. Naturally they want to marry Catherine as well, just without any say in the matter. They intend to work Will as a slave for a while before they eventually murder him and there’s not much he can do about it while at gunpoint. At least that’s how it played out but after a point I think you do just need to lunge for the gun. If you die then you die, but often times you’re going to be waiting for an opening that never arrives. You just have to hope that the sudden movement is enough to catch them off balance.

It’s also a western so the animals aren’t fully safe either. Nothing too explicit in this film to be sure but just a background element that’s never all that great. The first animal that died is even a part of the plot with how the first fight started. This is a very grounded western film. The kind that may be true to life but doesn’t translate into great television. Give me a more inspiring Western anyway. At best this one just serves as another reminder of why you would not have wanted to live in this era.

Overall, Will Penny is the kind of title that will end up being very memorable. The name itself is certainly unique and definitely works well. The film though, it’s your average western at best and I would actually say it’s below most of them. There isn’t a lot of ongoing action in the film. It goes for more of an emotional focus instead, except it does so with a poor situation. There aren’t many reasons to watch this one and it’s a bit grim for my liking. I’d say to skip it and roll the dice on a different western title.

Overall 3/10

The Beast With A Million Eyes Review

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The poster for this film is such clickbait that you almost have to double check if you’re looking at the right one. It is so different from anything within the actual movie. Unfortunately this creature feature is really lacking in screentime for the main villain and the main cast is definitely on the weaker side. There aren’t a whole lot of silver linings to this film and so it loses to the average title in its genre.

The film introduces us to Allan, his wife Carol, and their daughter Sandra. They live out in the middle of nowhere and Carol resents the whole thing. She spends most of her time yelling at Allan and Sandra as she has not been able to adjust to this lifestyle at all. They also have a neighbor who lives on the premises but it unable to talk and always seems a bit off. Allan insists that he is harmless but the guy spends his time looking at inappropriate magazines and secretly watching Allan’s daughter. Maybe he should think twice about this guy? For some reason, the animals in the area are starting to go crazy now too so that is another thing to keep an eye on.

Before we even touch the monster stuff, the main cast just isn’t all that good. First up we have Allan who is far too dismissive about the neighbor. We learn a twist about this near the end of the film which at least adds a little more of an excuse. It’s still not a great one though. Lets face it, this does not in any way make the neighbor safe. In fact, the twist about why he can’t talk just gives even more reason to why he might be unstable. While the family was toxic, Allan should have definitely told the others the whole story.

Then Carol is unlikable from the start. None of her complaints seem all that justified or deserved. We are starting this film in the middle of their lifestyle so perhaps some context would change this but as of now, it’s just a bad look for her. Her treating the daughter poorly is also terrible because she has nothing to do with this. So Carol comes off as a total bully here and the film doesn’t have enough time to really redeem her character.

I have the fewest issues with Sandra here. She’s really just trying to do her best and have a normal life out here. She could easily be complaining about how boring everything is since there is nothing to do but she takes the higher road. Sandra may not stand out as some kind of amazing character but at least she was avoiding making any big mistakes. She also gets far more of a role than her boyfriend who could be written out of the film and almost nothing would change.

As for the neighbor, well I feel bad for him with the injury but he’s definitely not remotely likable. He would definitely need to fix up his room and to stop being so obsessed with women to really have a chance here. Perhaps his injury is what started this in which case that just gets even more tragic but we simply don’t know. It’s all a mystery at this point.

Okay so what about the monster? Well, it’s not your average 11 foot creature trying to crush everyone. This being is a high intellect alien who can body swap. He gets a big speech near the end about his power and how the humans can’t stop him. Allan responds with his own speech about love and kindness. It’s definitely a bizarre climax. I’m not entirely opposed to ending things with a war but the creature probably gets less than a minute of actual screentime. It just doesn’t result in a particularly satisfying climax.

The creature is able to emit energy waves that cause animals to become violent. This results in the main character’s dog turning evil as well as a cow and a lot of birds. There is a bit of a body count here as a farmer friend dies but for the most part this is very isolated. It works against the film as well because I’m not here to see a bunch of animals dying. The birds are used as suicide bombers against a car and the dog unfortunately ends up getting axed. The film was never going to survive this kind of a plot.

Additionally, the alien just doesn’t seem to have a great plan here. Causing chaos with the animals may work as a distraction but he tried with too many small ones which allowed the main characters to form a plan and make a counter attack. Really the alien shouldn’t have lost so easily and perhaps should have hidden his hand better if he could be defeated so easily once the animals weren’t a problem. His powers aren’t the strongest either as he can only control humans when they are alone and not when they are in a group.

Apparently his weakness is the power of love which is not a great weakness for a villain. It means he will always be on the back foot here. So the film definitely has a ton of clickbait all the way through. If not for the poster, then maybe I could just call the monster as a plot twist which would excuse the lack of runtime but I can’t really do that here. The film is too much of a slowburn for such a short length and the characters are just not good enough to hold their own. Honestly the more I think about it, the more I realize that the film was completely outclassed from start to finish.

Overall, This is not a creature feature I would recommend. It barely even deserves to be called a creature feature. I know that the alien is the one orchestrating all of the events so sure it technically counts but in the most unsatisfying way possible. I would say to check out just about any other creature film instead and you’ll be getting more bang for your buck. Probably more of an action packed climax too.

Overall 3/10

The Man in the White Van

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I wasn’t really sure if I should do this one as a formal review or one of those titles without a score. It’s based on true events but with a lot of liberties taken and apparently merges a lot of different events into one. It felt a bit like a true crime adventure/re-enactment though so in the end I bypassed the score. That said, this is absolutely a film that would be pretty bottom of the barrel. It’s way too dark and the villain gets away with a whole lot. The whole time you are hoping he will go down but these films don’t always tend to have a happy ending.

The film switches between the present and the past as its method of ramping up the drama. We see that in every year for the last 4-5 years, a man in a white van has been going around murdering women. In the present story, he has his sights set on a girl named Annie and seems to show up wherever she is. The guy follows her around everywhere and unfortunately she has built up a long reputation of being someone who tells lies for attention. Nobody is taking this threat seriously, will she be able to defend herself?

Now the whole premise is built around nobody believing Annie which is part of the annoying part. I assume this is where things get dramatized for the movie because I can’t possibly imagine this being the case in real life. When you have a mysterious van following you to school, appearing on the property, etc. people should start to be taking notice right away. Her reputation isn’t even relevant by that point, there is a clear and present danger here.

At least Annie had a gun but then it gets confiscated because her parents think that she is going totally crazy. It doesn’t help that her older sister is not being even remotely helpful. She is wanting to go on adventures of her own without stopping to think about how that will affect Annie. Her younger brother is at least doing his best but is naturally too young to be all that helpful here. At least he did help Annie get the gun early on.

So what you end up with here is a film where it feels like every action is futile. There is really nothing that Annie can do to take the upper hand here. How could there be? She’s closer to being a kid than a full adult and has no real way of fighting back. She lives in more of a rural area so there isn’t anywhere to go and there are many times where she will be by herself or just with her best friend. It’s quite a long walk to school.

The film ramps up the tension by looming this dark fate over Annie the whole time but without a way to really fight back, it’s definitely not my kind of thriller. Cutting back to the older years to see all the victims getting murdered as well was really the cherry on top in terms of dooming the film. This feels like a slasher, just with a lower body count than usual. In general I don’t really think mass murderers need to be remembered and given films, just let them die out to history.

As a main character, Annie is basically the best character here by default. At least she’s trying to do something but it is a shame that she had been so used to lying on the regular. She is also still manipulated a little too easily like going to a party just because her friend wanted to go. Clearly the host hadn’t wanted Annie to be there which is why there was no invite so why go somewhere when you aren’t clearly wanted? Doesn’t seem like a good idea to me.

Generally speaking films based on true events are best for bio pics and tales of incredible heroism. Doing films that are more based on tragedies or villainous figures are rarely going to be on the same level. You could say that this film is really based on the positive outcome that things could have been a lot worse but it still feels hollow because of how we had a body count here that stretched across years. It works as a cautionary tale on why you always want to have your guard up but that’s the kind of moral you can do in many other ways.

The cast is also really small here so there isn’t much of a distraction from the white van plot. The only thing you could point to is the school plot where Annie crushes on one of the guys and her friend tries to play wingman. There isn’t really enough time to this plot for the whole thing to have a lot of development though so even as a distraction it’s definitely more of a mild one. I’d rather they not try and make a sequel out of this one.

Overall, This is what I’d call more of a mean spirited film. There aren’t many happy moments to be found here at all. Instead it is a slow descent for Annie as she is driven to the brink and the villain gets closer at all times. The ending is rather expected but still on the lame side. Definitely not satisfying in the least. You’re really hoping for more of a proper closure instead of what happened here. Now that may be limited based on how the events played out but that is a small consolation to the viewer. Just give us the fun ending where Annie whips out a gun and takes the main villain down. It felt like the setup was absolutely there with the gun getting a lot of emphasis before and then vanishing after that.

Moonraker Review

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Moonraker continues the James Bond marathon as we actually get some sci-fi elements this time around. Personally I would say it does continue with the classic Bond vibe despite this. To me this is a very familiar kind of adventure so you shouldn’t worry about the space stuff feeling a bit off. The climax is certainly explosive to be sure but it’s not even one of the longer Bond climaxes.

The film starts with Moonraker, a space station being taken by a mysterious foe and so James Bond is called in. James Bond is known as 007, the top British secret service operative in the entire world. He also has a license to kill as needed. Surely Bond should be the man for the job, but it turns out that M16 isn’t the only agency interested in what’s going on in space. The CIA send in an agent named Holly and this provides Bond with someone that he can finally show off for. Bond is usually one step behind the villains and get clowned on consistently, but tends to fare better with other agents. Can he keep his mind on the task at hand or will his endless weakness for women be his demise?

Bond is one of those guys that you don’t really want in your corner. Yes, I recognize that he ultimately gets the job done but it certainly tends to be at a high price. A lot of bodies will roll by the time he stops the villain here and that is true in this case as well. You can’t always blame him for every event but it would be easier to sympathize with Bond if he wasn’t constantly distracted. The “romance” with Holly definitely won’t be impressing you as each one is just manipulating the other. There isn’t really any passion or development here.

It did lead to the best scene in the film though where Bond walks through her room and calmly disables every trap possible. It was one of the only scenes in a minute where Bond actually looked like the top ranked professional that he is supposed to be. That was absolutely impressive. I just wish we could see more of that Bond. In terms of fighting ability, Bond is pretty good without the film portraying him as invincible or anything like that. For example he is usually not going to defeat someone like Jaws and has to just try and get out of the area.

On one hand that is a good look for Jaws but not so much for Bond. Surely his mastery of the martial arts and other deadly forms of combat should be enough to make up for a strength difference right? This may just be an issue with the films not being more modern but Bond always seems to fight like a normal guy. He is always willing to step into the fight though so I’ll give him that and he does have a lot of confidence. You can always count on him to deliver with a strong one liner as needed.

I don’t like the guy but at least he has the charisma to hold a film. Meanwhile the heroine Holly is more proactive than some of the others. She may fall to Bond’s charms like the rest but at least she can fight. It would be smarter for her to carry a gun so that she can properly defend herself but at least she has a knife. I always like when they add in a second agency to these films so having her be from the CIA was a good move. Bond got to have a little backup in that way.

It was also nice to see Jaws return as the big villain here. He is definitely a true threat with how powerful he is. I do think his character switch at the end was pushing things though. I would have liked to have kept him as fully evil, just unwilling to listen to Drax out of self survival. That would have made more sense and unfortunately I wouldn’t have added his new girlfriend either since that whole plotline was too rushed. It just didn’t really make a lot of sense and someone like Jaws isn’t going to change so drastically in such a short amount of time.

Drax is more of a forgettable main villain. He’s definitely not very smart though with how easily he allows Bond to draw a rift between him an Jaws. You’d think that Drax would have been able to see through the bait but I guess he’s just not socially aware of what’s going on. Other villains wouldn’t have gone down so easily. Drax isn’t a fighter at any rate so he won’t end up being all that memorable anyway.

The action and special effects are good as always. The Star Wars type energy climax may come out of nowhere but it does look good so I can say that in favor of the film. The soundtrack isn’t particularly noteworthy but as always I do like the classic Bond theme. No matter how many times it plays or gets remixed, I’ll always find it to be pretty impressive. If the film could just stay away from all the fanservice and rushes romances then this could actually be a good series. Unfortunately as it stands, the Bond films tend to all get absolutely crushed when you’re watching them.

The film also gets some props for being long but never feeling all too drawn out. The action is consistent and the different set pieces are all unique so it’s not like the film starts blending into itself either. The pacing is good and the writing is nice. I always like when Bond bumps into another M16 base and all of the big shots happen to be there. In a way it feels like magic with how quickly they set everything up but I’ll chalk it up to their intelligence gathering truly being first rate.

Overall, Moonraker is one of those films that I wouldn’t recommend but it’s not as if it is significantly worse than the average Bond film. On the contrary it holds up to the others just fine and the space climax really isn’t bad. It’s just a shame that this is known as the outer space Bond film and yet they don’t actually leave Earth for a good chunk of the runtime. If the film really wanted to be bold, it should have made the majority of it take place out there.

Overall 4/10

Now You See Me: Now You Don’t Review

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This is one of those series that is always a lot of fun. It may not make a lot of sense and by the end of the adventure you’re remembering how lucky the main characters got but the film is focusing on pure entertainment. So I really can’t fault it for that. As long as you have fun during the adventure then the film can get away with leaps of logic like that. You just have to stretch your disbelief to the max and as this is the third film in the series you are probably used to that. It also may be the kind of series that just gets better the more you watch it because I see that I was quite harsh on the first film when I originally saw it. My memories of it aren’t bad tho.

The movie starts off by explaining that the Horsemen have gone into retirement and they haven’t appeared in the outside world for a long time. A trio of new magicians figure that this is their chance to get out there and so they begin to fight the good fight. Acting as modern day Robin Hoods they steal from those that they believe deserve it. One day they are approached by Atlas, one of the original horsemen. He claims they are all second rate at best but is reluctantly going to work with them because The Eye sent him here on a mission. The 4 of them have to steal the richest diamond in the world away from a power hungry lady who seeks to dominate the planet. The stakes have never been higher!

Right away I would say that the film’s greatest strength is in its nonstop banter. These magicians are all incredibly talented and they know it. This results in all of them having rather inflated egos with maybe one exception. They love to try and see who the real best magician is so we get a lot of fights between the original horsemen and the new cadets. It tends to be a closer fight than you might expect.

Atlas is easily the most enjoyable character in this arena because he is just constantly landing insult after insult. The guy just never stops and he perfectly nails the sarcasm in every scene. He may have the occasional genuine moment but you just wait for him to get back into sarcastic mode. I’d also say that Atlas tends to be the most proactive member of the group. He’s not just waiting for things to happen, he’s going out there to make it so. It’s why he was the first one to introduce himself to the new characters. Atlas also tends to take front stage on all of the big tricks.

He does have a good match against the main villain here though. Veronika is the last leading her global company to be found riches with her aggressive plays in the board room. Anyone who stands against her is completely threatened and could lose their lives. It’s all part of the plan and what a plan it is. She has a ton of safety features around the diamond to prevent it from being stolen and her head bodyguard is immune to hypnosis which is important. Also she isn’t some damsel who must be protected by security. Veronika knows how to use a gun and also set up a tremendous trap for the horsemen.

There is no twist like they got caught on purpose. In fact, it’s likely the most danger that they’ve been in throughout the 3 films because she built such an incredible trap. You could say that they really got lucky on this one. So she was a lot of fun to have on screen and is easily one of the most memorable characters around. Not saying you’ll be rooting for her to beat the heroes…but it may be tempting.

From the 3 new characters, Charlie is the brainiac of the bunch. He stays in the back and works on the tricks for the other characters to pull off. Charlie doesn’t tend to like the spotlight and as the film goes on he gets to have more of an active role. He’s one of the weakest characters for me and the reason is pretty self explanatory. I like really confident characters who spend their time boasting and showing everyone up. A more quiet character isn’t going to be able to keep up with that.

Then you have June who is very athletic and can handle all of the physical stunts needed for the illusions. She is way more confident and the kind of person you want to have on your team. She is quick to take on all challengers and even defeats her horseman counterpart in their first meeting. I would say she got the only definitive victory in the whole film because of how completely he was destroyed. She also did really well in the prison room using her size to evade the guards.

Bosco is probably the most emotional of the main 3. He doesn’t particularly like the horsemen and if anything resents the idea that he would need them for anything. Bosco feels like he can hold his own and that’s certainly valid. His group did just pull off a master heist after all. It always feels like the other characters are having to hold him back from making a big move and potentially getting them all in trouble. I do appreciate his loyalty though.

From the old cast of course we have Jack who is good at sleight of hand. Unfortunately, he does not look good here. Unfortunately his raw skills are beneath the rest of the Horsemen. If someone didn’t return in the next film, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was him. Then his ex/situationship Lula also doesn’t get a huge role here. She helps break them out of prison at one point and is upset at being excluded but doesn’t do a ton beyond that. I suppose I should give her credit for actually catching up to the rest of the team though. Their romance is fairly weak but that could be the excuse to remove both characters.

Henley is still the main escape artist here and she’s the one who really makes sure that the group escapes the big trap. Without her I don’t think they would have really had a shot here. She has also developed into being a really good all around magician with the other kinds of tricks as well. You really can’t count her out. Then you have Merritt who is still as self depreciating as ever. His hypnotic abilities are certainly handy although they meet their match in his one.

He probably spends the most time on the losing side here compared to the other horsemen but also helps to gather a lot of exposition on the main villain. He gets his own rage moment after one of the heroes is taken down but ultimately you could argue that his side initiated it so I wouldn’t say that you feel a ton of sympathy here. It’s like when a big villain has a best friend who is super upset at a hero murdering the main villain. Yeah it sucks but the heroes aren’t the ones who started this.

In this case Veronika’s group are not heroes or anything like that but the Horsemen are the ones who stole from them. So we’ve got a solid cast of characters all around and the main advantage the film has over most others if how basically everyone can get in on the banter. The movie moves at a really fast pace as a result and the flashiness of the film just works super well.

Overall The movie may not make a lot of sense if you focus on it too closely but that’s fine. We’re here for a fun time, not an accurate one. This does a great job of wrapping up the trilogy and it’s going to be tough to top this one. The films are really pushing the idea of the Horsemen being global agents who save the day and a full on mission for that could be fun but I feel like the heist element needs to stick around. Seeing them steal things and stay one step ahead of their pursuers is a big part of the fun.

Overall 7/10

The Spy Who Loved Me Review

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It’s time for more Bond and this time he will have to deal with a rival who may even be on his level. The concept is definitely cool but as the film goes on, you realize that the rival is a paper one. I’ll explain more about that in a minute but needless to say this film still falls into the usual issues of a Bond film. Perhaps that is just the inevitable fate of most Bond adventures.

The film starts with showing us how both Bond and Anya are messing around despite being called the world’s greatest secret agents. Bond manages to murder a bunch of enemy agents as he heads back to base though. MI6 has called him in to find the missing nuclear submarine that someone stole from Russia. Naturally this is a pretty big deal since it is a national crisis. Russia has also sent in their best agent, Anya to find out what’s going on. Both of them will be crossing paths as they uncover the mystery behind this but can they keep their hands to themselves?

I do like the hook of finally seeing another secret agency in the forefront. Surprisingly the films don’t often do this. Sure, other agencies like the CIA are referenced but typically they tend to just get wrecked off screen. That said, the film doesn’t totally commit to the bit as Anya isn’t super skilled. Perhaps relative to some of the other agents but she consistently feels outmatched here. This is why I would call her a rival on paper.

So on paper Anya is a genius, master of martial arts, and her resourcefulness speaks for itself. She should be able to hold her own against anyone. Well, on the field it just doesn’t play out that way. She may be able to defeat Bond at times in word games like when she mentions where the submarine is. Additionally, she is able to defeat him by using his weakness to women and spraying him with a knock out gas. The whole thing was super embarrassing for Bond but when it comes time for a fight, she is dispatched quickly.

She allows Jaws to defeat her even when she had a gun on him and he was unarmed. When she crosses with Bond, she is pitting her karate chop against his gun. Anya just wasn’t ready for this and the fact that she can distract Bond with her charms just feels like a consolation prize at best. I would have liked her to have been out there in the field murdering a ton of fighters and really giving Bond a reason to respect her abilities. Considering the series we’re watching, this will probably only be possible if the rival agent is a guy.

As for Bond, well he looks pretty bad as always. The whole world is in danger with the nuclear weapons here and he’s still trying to make a pass at everybody? Bond needs to lock in at this point and he just doesn’t have enough moments like that. Bond is ready to have his fun and lose the mission which is not what you want a hero to do. I appreciate his smug attitude and how Bond talks down to everyone but it’s still hard to overlook his faults.

Meanwhile Jaws is a solid villain because of his skills even if he lacks the overall charisma that Scaramanga had. Jaws is shown to be borderline superhuman with how he can absorb so many blows. He walks away from a massive car crash at one point with essentially no injuries. Bond is clearly not able to beat him one on one but is quicker so usually the environment ends up being the deciding factor. Jaws mouth is metal after all which makes things difficult for him around magnets.

His boss is technically the head honcho but that guy doesn’t look all that good. I appreciate all the tough talk and how he dispatched several characters in the opening scene. He knows how to stay on top but ultimately gets a little too cocky. His gun needed to be quite a bit shorter to be effective and the trigger needed to be silent. The guy had an interesting goal of wanting humanity to only live beneath the waves though. I’ll give him some points for originality I suppose.

As always the film suffers from fanservice and terrible romances which distract from the main plot. In fact, this time it’s even worse because the plot is completely going against the romance. Anya’s whole plot is to avenge her fiancé but she’s messing around with Bond right away. You could try to defend this by saying that it’s part of her job and she’ll get with everybody in order to further the mission but that really doesn’t help at all. It just pushes forward the worst trope of a female agent which is having to do any of that stuff in the beginning.

Nah you need to be able to solidify her as a top tier threat who doesn’t need to do that. Bond never does either, he just does it for fun. That needs to be dialed back as well so that he can actually be a likable character. The film’s general pacing and story is good but these things hold it back quite a lot. The fanservice is unrelenting and is something you don’t see so much of outside of the Bond films. In a way that’s what makes it so notable here.

I should mention that the songs aren’t all that impressive for me. I didn’t cover that in the prior Bond film but generally none of the songs have moved me so far. They sound decent, I’m certainly not calling them bad. However, I would not be looking them up on Youtube or anything like that. They really lack a better beat or incredible lyrics that force you to rewatch them. These just feel like what you would expect from a Bond film tbh and I don’t really mean that in a good way.

Overall, This film had an interesting premise but didn’t live up to it in classic Bond style. I will always take a plot like this with multiple factions over not having them at all though. If you have liked the Bond films up to now then you should like this one as well. In a lot of ways it is playing the adventure completely straight and that’s not a bad thing for the most part. The series just needs a way to lose the fanservice and then it can one day rise up as one of the all time greats! Until then, it will have to be satisfied with being at the back of the pack when it comes to action/thriller franchises.

Overall 4/10

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another Mad Max film which is naturally not going to go over very well. The franchise has never really managed to make a solid product and this one doesn’t do any better. It jumps straight to pure edge and grim-dark content right from the jump and never really gets any better. The plot itself is fairly thin with the film just being a bunch of padding on top of it. It’ll feel like a 4 hour movie by the time you’re done with it.

The film starts with Dementus’ gang invading Furiosa’s home and they manage to kidnap her and murder her mother. Furiosa is now forced to work for his gang for many years while trying to plot her revenge. Unfortunately, it won’t be easy because he just has so many different henchmen working for him. It’s like going up against an entire army. Dementus is the leader of his gang but even he has to answer to a larger force. This may be where Furiosa can have some hope to turn things around but it won’t be easy. Will she be able to mount a comeback or is all hope already lost?

This is a prequel so you know Furiosa will survive this but it’s more about the journey. How much will she lose before she is finally able to claim victory here? Well, unfortunately the film decides to have her lose quite a lot in the process and so we see just how messed up her life was in the apocalyptic world. Just about every character has been messed up in this timeline though as we’ve seen throughout the movies. There just isn’t any hope left.

The last semblances of authority were wiped out long ago. All that remains are an endless amount of gangs who rule through violence and terror. Forget about human dignity or anything like that. This is all about maximum suffering to everyone and it’s just villain against villain. As Dementus fights with the other group, you don’t have anyone to root for because both groups are equally pure evil. There will be no rest or recovery for either side no matter what happens. It’s true when they say there are no heroes in this film.

Furiosa is naturally a lot more sympathetic than the others running around but even she had to play the game for years. She had to fight under the villains’ banner and murders a whole lot of characters throughout. It would have been nice to have let her just be a full on hero even if it meant breaking the tone that the film was going for. Have her be some sort of super hero who goes around murdering the villains one by one. She could use a lot of run and gun tactics to whittle them down.

That would make for an infinitely more interesting film right away. It would be easy to root for her after all and it would mean less screen time for the villains. The film is incredibly violent so you can expect to be grimacing at every other scene. The whole society within this world is as grim as possible with slaves everywhere and every crime you can think of. The film absolutely succeeds at showing an evil society but never gives you any good reason to be watching the film. It’s like getting a peek into true evil without any large scale destruction at the end to help you feel at least a little satisfaction.

A scene at the end where the world gets destroyed or something like that would have been good. It’s certainly evident that the people who died during the great disaster were the lucky ones since they didn’t have to live through this new situation. Perhaps the films could one day have a twist where a human city does survive somewhere and they have kept law and order but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Aside from the film just being tragic to sit through, it’s also incredibly long. The film just keeps on going on and on. It’ over 2 hours and the film absolutely feels that long with every scene taking forever. This is one of those films where I really can’t point to a single positive and so it’s one of the first 0s in quite a while. There are just no redeeming values within the title.

The whole film takes place in the dessert so there aren’t any real good visuals to be had here either. Everything is rundown and the characters are all dirty from getting hit with the elements all the time. A lot of characters tend to have big scars or other injuries to help reflect the ugliness of the world which doesn’t exactly earn it any points either. I can admit that this may be a realistic look at how things could be if humanity ever hits rock bottom. You like to hope that there would be some semblance of order left but there are absolutely areas around the world where this happens. So I can’t say that it’s impossible.

It just doesn’t make for a good film. At the end of the day the film is about Furiosa getting her revenge but it takes an extremely long time to even get up to that point. It would have been much more satisfying if the whole film was about her picking off all the villains until she got to the leader, rather than being forced to work for different villains throughout. Let Furiosa get more scenes where she has the advantage rather than trying to claim it after being the underdog the whole time.

Overall, I would definitely recommend skipping this film. At the end of the day it’s about a bunch of villains hurting everybody and the cycle of violence will perpetuate forever. The movie definitely tries to show you as much suffering as possible here so even by the time a villain is defeated, it all rings rather hollow. The other villains will continue destroying whatever and whoever they want. There are no heroes to stop them, nor will any ever show up based on what we’ve seen in the other titles. The whole Mad Max series would need a hard reboot to have any hope and even then I would not like its odds.

Overall 0/10