Tag Archives: Thriller

The Last Voyage of the Demeter Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the movie. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a Dracula film. Usually these don’t end up going over so well and it’s safe to say that I had a lot of reservations about it. Still, that doesn’t mean that the film was completely doomed right? There was still a chance for this to move forward but as the film went on, I knew that it was not going to surpass my expectations This one just plays out like your typical slasher.

The movie starts off with the wreckage of a big boat washing up to the shore. The cops arrive to investigate what happened and only find a journal along with a guy who has gone crazy. We then rewind to the beginning of the film where the Demeter is preparing to go on another voyage. This will be the last one for the captain because then he intends to retire and spend some time with his family. Clemens is just barely able to join the crew when a bunch of them desert the ship because of bad omens and superstitions. Clemens isn’t worried about those kinds of things but once the ship reaches the middle of the ocean, weird things begin to happen. People and animals start to get viciously murdered and a lady is found in the luggage area who talks very cryptically about the whole situation. The crew will have to try and band together in order to fend off this threat, but can they really use their teamwork to pull this off?

There are a lot of issues here of course but the biggest one right away is how doomed the characters are. Dracula may not be invincible in the way that the Ring or the Grudge is but he is still far beyond the abilities of a mere human. Bullets can take him out with enough shots but nobody is getting more than one or two. Most of them just have knives at the ready which is not very helpful. Dracula is much faster and stronger than any of the humans and can also fly. So you are really just following the futile journey of a bunch of sailors who are desperately trying not to be murdered. Not a very fun journey right there if you ask me.

Then there is the fact that the film is quite violent. This is one of those titles that is not holding back at all so each of the murders are quite grisly and detailed. It’s the films way of showing you just how dangerous Dracula is but that’s always the lazy way out. You don’t need to make a film be quite this violent in order to get that message across. Then of course you have the animal violence as well. As soon as I saw that a dog was on the ship, I knew it would go down that route. The film doesn’t even allow any mercy for the kid who is on the ship.

This one’s just going as grim dark as possible the whole time. Again, this is all within the context that the humans have no possible way of escaping Dracula. They’re in the middle of the ocean after all and Dracula will just hop on any life boats. So all they can do is wait for the end which is a rather miserable way to go out. The entire film takes place on a boat as well so it’s not like there are any subplots or changes in scenery to distract you with.

The only solid I would probably give the film is the ending. I thought it was reasonably exciting as a cliffhanger to set up a sequel that’ll never happen. Going in a more action packed direction is a good idea even if I admit that it would be fairly relative. I just don’t think the film would end up being very good either way. I could be wrong of course but that’s the general vibe I get from this kind of title at least. The writing is okay I suppose but the pacing isn’t great. Most of the characters don’t really get to make a name for themselves and they’re constantly instigating fights. Dracula isn’t even mind controlling them or anything like that.

None of the crew look particularly good but I would argue that Anna could have been a lot more helpful. She at least knows all about Dracula and his plans but doesn’t let the others in on it until the end. It may not have helped much but at least give the others some kind of a fighting chance right? Then Clemens very clearly sees that something is on board but decides not to mention it and even acts in disbelief when someone else mentions seeing something similar. This group did not have very strong survival instincts.

The film could have at least given him some kind of weakness to the stars so Clemens could use his astrology skills or something like that. A few of the crew members also talked tough but their knife skills were no match here. Dracula doesn’t even have the cool, regal design that you’re used to from titles like Castlevania. That would have been a nice bonus if you ask me.

I guess one last thing I’ll say is the film does remind me why I’d never want to be on a long voyage like this. A cruise is one thing. The ship is so big that it feels like being in a hotel but a boat like this? I’d get massively seasick and then dealing with all of the rats would be a massive turnoff as well. I don’t see how you’d ever get any sleep and it’s not like you can bring an oven on board either. The food would be super limited. No part of that boat experience seemed like it would be any fun.

Overall, I would definitely say to give this one a full skip. While it is true that the story is tackling a different part of the Dracula experience than most other adaptions, it doesn’t do anything worth remembering. This is still a sub par film and that’s the most generous way that I can put it. This is the kind of film that you would probably want to skip even if it was on TV for free. It’s really hard to make a fun Dracula film and this one will have to go back to the drawing board. Better luck next time, it is Dracula so we know there will be another film within the next few years.

Overall 1/10

The Yellow Canary Review

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It’s time for a pretty old thriller. This is a film I had never heard of before so it’s always fun to discover something new. The Yellow Canary is a film about a kidnapping and the main character deciding to go rogue. It’s a pretty classic plot and one that can be really fun as long as the execution is good. I would say that the film handles it all pretty well so you should be on the edge of your seat.

The film starts off by introducing us to Andy who is a world famous singer. He’s won all kinds of awards and is ridiculously wealthy. Unfortunately he traded in his morals a long time ago and nowadays he greatly enjoys just indulging in every pleasure. He cheats on his wife, never visits his son, etc. Well one day his son is kidnapped and now Andy has to find the culprit before anything terrible happens. The randomer is stringing Andy along a lot and the cops say this is probably personal but aren’t offering a whole lot of help. The cops mean well but are just out of their depth. Andy will have to take some big swings here.

Now it is a bold approach to have Andy be so unlikable right from the start. Some characters might be a bit arrogant or something but the film goes out of its way to say that this guy has been completely corrupted by the money. I’d even say that a reoccurring theme of the movie is about how all of your friends are fake when you’re rich. In one way or another each of his friends tend to stab him in the back. I’d say at least Andy’s business partners seemed solid and if anything it was Andy who was abusing them the whole time.

Throughout the film Andy does do his best to find his kid, but that doesn’t automatically make him a good character. It just means that this was something super personal and he was going to solve the problem. Perhaps now that he has lost a lot of money by the end of the film he will readdress the priorities in his life. Andy may end up being a good character but I can’t really assume that just from the ending here. You’ll obviously still root for him over the kidnapper though.

Andy’s wife Lissa is upset at Andy the whole film but that’s really justified. I just wish she was able to keep it together a bit more when they were working on saving the kid. For example at one point she is able to grab her son but then panics about how she can’t leave Andy along when the villains are approaching. If Lissa had her way then they all would have been swarmed and defeated. She just seemed to lack a general sense of awareness for danger and I never like it when characters fall to pieces like that. It is unfortunately realistic but doesn’t make the whole thing any better.

As for the police detective Bonner, he is one of those characters who sounds good until you really think about it. He gives all of the textbook advice on not letting the kidnapper get what he wants and all that but has no plan beyond this. Bonner essentially tells Andy to sacrifice his kid to prevent copycat kidnappings. Yes, that is good advice for society but it’s not something that just about any father is going to listen to. It would just sound rather absurd on its face. Bonner is quick to deflect when Andy asks how often the strategy actually saves the kid. It’s clear that Andy will have to do this on his own.

Bake is constantly playing the victim card as he tells Andy to stop being a terrible person. The advice falls on deaf ears though and it really doesn’t hit because Bake continues to work for the guy. If Bake decided to quit that would be one thing but the longer he stays at the job then it makes the moral convictions fall flat. Lissa even calls him out on this and Bake just talks about how he is trapped. We see that he even steals money from Andy as the film goes on so that makes him look even worse. I really didn’t have anything all that positive to say about the guy. He’s easily one of the weakest characters.

Then you have Hub who is always ready to help but tends to take a violent twist on it. The guy is rather unhinged and seems to even enjoy the violence. You always want to be careful with someone like that around. While watching the film you have to try and figure out who the kidnapper is. Naturally he might not even be one of these immediate characters and could be a complete stranger. You’ll really have to go through the film to find out.

I’d say another solid thing about the film is that there aren’t many big leaps of logic for you to follow. The main characters didn’t even really make a mistake when it came to the kid being kidnapped. There was effectively nothing they could have done and then from there it made sense to follow the kidnapper’s instructions until they could find an avenue of attack. The most realistic part here may have even been that the heroes completely had no leads until the villain slipped up. His own arrogance was his downfall here.

The climax was also really solid. I was glad that one character wasn’t bluffing because that would have been a supremely terrible look. When your kid is taken, it’s naturally going to be time for extreme actions and I would expect you to be locked and loaded. There was no hesitation when it counted and it made the villain’s final speech that much more enjoyable. I definitely like it when the villain thinks he is completely invincible and about to claim victory when he’s actually delusional by that point.

Overall, I had a good time here. Andy is definitely not someone who is likable but you still want the kid to be okay so you’re forced to root for him via proxy. The movie keeps up a tense atmosphere throughout and the pacing is on point. The body count is even a bit higher than I was expecting. I don’t know why, but I just assumed there wouldn’t be much death or anything here. Maybe it’s just the way the film was playing out? It felt tense but in a more slow burn kind of way where the heroes would eventually stop the kidnapper before anyone would really have to die for it. By the second death, you quickly realize that this is not that kind of film. This one of those films that just feels like a really well rounded watch all the way through. As long as you enjoy these kind of retro thrillers then you should have a good time here.

Overall 7/10

Spider-Man: Brand New Day Review

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It’s time for the new Spiderman film that’s been getting a lot of hype around the world. I can definitely see why as it delivers on a lot of great character moments and fight scenes. The film is also fairly long so it got to have a number of climaxes before actually ending. The Spider-Man films are fairly stacked by this point but this one has to make it into the top half.

The film starts off with Spider-Man beating up a bunch of enemies as he recovers his reputation from the last film. The city loves Spider-Man now and while he should feel like this is the height of his career, his days as Peter Parker have never been worse. After Dr. Strange did the spell to wipe everyone’s memory of him, Parker is basically by himself. He still keeps up with MJ and Ned but doesn’t allow himself to talk to them. Now there is a mysterious body hopper who is going on a rampage and Spider-Man’s powers are on the fritz. He’ll have to take control of the situation quickly or it’s all over.

One thing the film gets right about Spider-Man immediately is how nobody is ever there to help him. Spider-Man’s out there busting his back to save everybody and the instant he’s down, nobody wants to help him. With his powers out of control he ends up injuring someone and the police contact he had been working with immediately starts throwing threats around. When Spider-Man goes to the Avengers for help, he’s dismissed out of hand in an almost mocking kind of way. These guys would be the first ones to run to him for help but don’t want to stick their necks out.

It’s pretty tragic just how alone Spider-Man is. He’s strong enough to be able to take it, but that doesn’t mean that he wants to. I’ll also say that the Avengers look really bad as a result since there is a whole lot of destruction going on in the city. You’d think that they would be taking some kind of an interest in the situation but I guess that wasn’t in the cards this time.

On the Peter side, it’s a bit harder to feel bad for him. He made his choice of not reconnecting with MJ and Ned so I think he just has to live with that. That means completely breaking contact instead of being half hearted about the whole thing. He shouldn’t be keeping up with their social media accounts or anything like that because it’s just going to make him feel worse. It’s like getting over an ex or an old friend, the best thing you can do is achieve a fresh start completely. If you do that correctly then you’ll really be all set.

A big theme in the film is about how you can’t do everything on your own and it makes sense. As smart as Peter is, he does make a mistake with one of his gadgets and needed a fresh pair of eyes to see it. He also can’t be everywhere at once and isn’t even in the best mental state because of the constant headaches. The film would have been a lot easier for him without the power issues. For example his spider sense appears to be off for just about the whole movie as a result. While it may not be confirmed that it was happening at the very start, it’s the only way he would get hit by the Punisher or the other random folks in the movie so it tracks for me.

Peter may make his share of mistakes but still looks good throughout the movie. The Punisher also makes for a fun ally here. He’s completely out of his depth the whole time but has a good amount of banter with Peter and is fun to have around. He probably just needed a bit more conviction though. If you’re willing to take one shot then you should be willing to take two. I think the ending would work better with Peter completely stopping Punisher and that causes a bit of a rift between them. It’s a bit harder to see them getting along with such drastically different senses of justice.

As for the main antagonist, it was interesting to see the film set her up as such an evil character. This could become another Scarlet Witch situation if the writers aren’t careful. She really crossed a lot of lines here and while it was ultimately to help someone out, it doesn’t take away from the actions themselves. As far as I’m concerned she is functionally a villain here and this could be a really creative way to set up the in-universe discourse on characters relating to her. I could see a few freedom fighter type groups being inspired by the devastation to put a stop to this. So we’ll see how it all plays out but it puts a whole lot of pressure on some characters going forward. Humanity isn’t going to just sit back after all this went down.

Scorpion is more of a B villain here but it was fun how the film gave him so much hype. The music changes whenever he shows up and he’s treated like an actual threat. It’s all so sincere that I nearly thought it was parody. I suppose he is strong but usually the guy is absolute fodder. We also get the Hand to show up and while I feel like they should all get leveled immediately against someone like Spider-Man, we can’t have the film end too soon.

Hulk looks good in his brief appearance but honestly Banner should have put on the limiter immediately. He already knows that things will not be going well otherwise. I get that the limiter as a concept feels rather shady but these were desperate times. On the supporting cast, I’ve never been the biggest fan of Ned and MJ but they’re okay. They just don’t really need to be around by this point. The fact that they’re both geniuses like Peter at least gives them a little relevance but it still makes the world feel a bit too small. They’re not in high school anymore and in a city like New York, you never really need to bump into anyone more than once.

The guy who loses out the most here is MJ’s new boyfriend because the guy barely gets to appear and then is portrayed as not being a great guy. The film did a good job of avoiding any rebound romance though because it’s not like this MJ even knows Peter. It would have been extremely rushed. For that reason Peter should have suspected something during the roof scene. The whole scene just feels crazy because you usually remember someone by seeing them, not by doing anything weird. Peter was a bit off with all the crazy stuff going on though so I guess he gets a small pass for not noticing that something was amiss.

Now it’s been a while so lets rank the Spider-Man films. I’m not counting the animated ones since we’re really looking at live action here. Number 1 will always be Spider-Man 3 as the definitive Spider-Man title out there. I’d say that second is No Way Home with the cool crossover action. Third would be The Amazing Spider-Man 2 which still has the coolest visuals out of all of them. Then I’d put this one in 4th, 5th would be Far From Home, 6th would be The Amazing Spiderman, 7th would be Spider-Man, 8th would be Spider-Man Homecoming, and finally 9th would be Spider-Man 2. The films tend to be pretty close though and with rewatches I could see the list shuffling a bit. Perhaps this one is so high with recency bias. You never know until time passes I suppose.

Overall, I definitely recommend checking this one out. There is a whole lot going on here and I appreciated that the film made the most out of being in an expanded universe. We had a number of guest star characters which was good to see and I always prefer when a film acknowledges what the others are doing instead of just ignoring it. While those answers may not be satisfactory, at least they’re there. We also got to really see Peter being able to act as the friendly neighborhood Spiderman even when his life was coming to pieces. I really appreciated how he would still force himself to joke and be light as the hero. It showed just how hard he was continuing to try being the best hero he can be. Now we begin the wait for Doomsday!

Overall 8/10

Drop Review

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Now this was a tricky film for me to think about. I wasn’t even fully decided on how much I liked it when the movie ended. On one hand, it does handle the thriller aspects pretty well with a lot of suspense and everything. On the other hand the film’s entire plot revolves around everyone being slow on the uptake. It’s even worse when one guy is clearly tech savvy and then you have the fact that the film can be extremely cringe. It’s intentional….but cringe is cringe after all. So lets unpack this one.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Violet who had a traumatic experience with her ex-husband. Violet was able to piece her life back together after those events and is now a therapist who helps others with their problems. She has done her best to be the best single mom possible for her kid and now she is ready to get back out there and rebound with a new person. Violet simply doesn’t want to be single forever and she will be meeting up for the first time with someone that she met on an app. His name is Henry and they will be meeting as a super expensive, fancy restaurant for the first meetup. She gets there early and everything seems fine….until she starts getting some dangerous messages through wireless drops. This mysterious individual claims to have her son hostage and she must now follow all of his orders. How can she gets out of this situation?

Okay so lets address the elephant in the room. Violet should have immediately tuned the feature off. It’s not like air dropping is something that goes through no matter what. Just turn it off immediately! It takes a while before the messages mention that he has her kid so the whole film would have had to play out very differently. The film also goes out of its way to show that Henry knows how the air drops work. He explains it to Violet and even has apps on his phone that measure distance and everything. So he should have just told her how to turn it off. It’s a bit hard to get past this point since it is the crucial sticking point for the entire film. You’ll just be shaking your head the whole time. It’s not the kind of thing that would really hurt the film’s score for me but is a bit of a strike against the writing.

Well once we get past that, it does make for a decent mystery gimmick as Violet needs to find out who is sending the messages. That might sound pointless since it doesn’t change the hostage situation but I guess you could say it’s so that she can find some blindspots to contact the police. Unfortunately the villain has hacked all of the cameras so he can basically see her from everywhere. I will say that even here the film stretches some disbelief. Not so much in the hacking as we’ll say that the villain is just that powerful but that nobody talked about how he was constantly texting. There is a plot reason why this feels pretty unlikely and you would have heard something.

Thrillers tend to have a lot of disbelief attached to them but this one just felt particularly egregious. Now you have to remember that this is all happening during Violet’s first date. So that’s where the second hand cringe comes in as she keeps looking away to scan the perimeter, is super distracted, etc. Henry comes across as ultra patient with how long he hangs in there because I think most people would have given up early on. It would just be too much after a bit and nobody wants to be second fiddle in their own date. The person giving her the orders intentionally does it in a way to make her look as bad as possible.

She is still able to keep Henry interested with various tricks but that shouldn’t have been enough. Now, we do get some info on Henry about how good he is with tech and his background involves the government so he should be able to notice that something is wrong. I was actually expecting it the whole time but instead he seems to take it at face value that Violet is just kinda crazy. Surely the whole air drops thing should have been a good tipoff. Henry seems like a nice guy so I’m not going to go too hard on him but I just expected more there.

The film gives us a more explosive climax than I was expecting. It’s always nice to get some action in there even if it feels like the deck was too stacked in the villain’s favor. There was no realistic way for him to lose. Special props to Violet’s sister for hanging in there and doing her best as a babysitter. Nobody expects to have to fight for your life in that job but she pulled through and did what was needed. While the last scene in the film is for laughs and shouldn’t be taken too seriously….I did think that she deserved a bit more recognition. The joke just didn’t land tbh since Violet should be thanking her a whole lot. You’ll understand the context when you watch the film.

I really enjoyed the backgrounds and locale for the film. The restaurant looked really nice even if the food/drinks would probably not be so great. The annoying waiter would also hurt the experience there. That was one area where the film was trying way too hard to be funny. I think the humor there was the fact that he wasn’t funny so it was like a 4 layered joke but it just didn’t work. After a point it just loops around to not being funny again. At least the date being awkward makes sense in context but the waiter did not need to be here at all.

Also this may be a bit harsh but I didn’t think the backstory for Violet was necessary or even that it made a lot of sense. The villain uses it against her later on by saying that she has murdered people before and all that but when we see the context it is the biggest stretch ever. I know survivor bias is a real concept but usually that’s not mixed in with self defense. In a case like this I don’t see why Violet would have any real fears or trauma. Or more specifically, I can see it being a trauma in terms of not wanting to be near guns or being afraid to start dating again but not in any relation to taking a life. I would have rewritten it a bit to make her actually shoot the gun in which case I think it would have been a much stronger parallel. It would also establish that she is willing to take a life in order to protect her son and so to the viewer, maybe she would take more and more lives to continue keeping him safe. It’s still different since that was self defense and not murder but the way the film used this plot was a bit odd.

So in the end what are we looking at here? Is this still a good film or do all of these factors add up to make it a bad one? I was pretty indecisive throughout it all but by the end the answer became clear. This one is a good movie and so it makes it into the green. It’s not a film that I would likely rewatch on my own but I wouldn’t be opposed to it if someone else picked the movie. I also wouldn’t caution people away from watching it and may even recommend it to a fan of thrillers. I’d say the premise is better than the execution but it still got enough things right.

I also liked how the final boss started monologuing before going out. For a minute there I didn’t think we were going to have enough time for the ole speech. Even then we got another awkward conversation as Violet started trauma dumping and the villain clearly couldn’t care less but didn’t seem to know what to do in the moment except to keep eating his dessert.

Overall, Drop is a pretty memorable film and I think that is a strong point. I don’t regret seeing it or anything like that. Thrillers like this can be fun to think about what you would do in this situation. Once the orders begin coming in, it is really hard to get the upper hand again. You know that the villain isn’t bluffing after all but if you keep helping out there is still no guarantee that he will keep his word. For that reason I always think the best thing to do is to ignore the orders but obviously that is much easier said than done.

Overall 6/10

Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another vampire film and this one is made by Horror. Needless to say, this was doomed from the start. Both of those things are usually connected to the absolute worst films around and when you mix them together then that’s a recipe for disaster. Ultimately this film was not able to rise above my first impressions there and at best you can give it credit for some original decisions.

The film introduces us to Captain Kronos who is a powerful fighter. He has been slaying vampires for a long time along with his partner Professor Grost. This time he is tasked with finding a potential vampire in a small village. This will not be an easy task as Kronos will need to lay out some traps and gradually begin getting suspects. In the meantime this vampire will keep on picking more and more people off. Kronos also runs into a lady named Carla who was about to be executed. After saving her, she decides to become his girlfriend but is there any time for this?

Okay lets blast through all of the issues first. Right away one of the big ones is naturally going to be the usual vampire violence. I’m not big on the blood sucking at all and that is always a main part of this genre. It’s a bit different than some others since the vampire is more interested in stealing vitality but equals out to the same thing. The vampire also uses the usual hypnosis to force the victims into accepting their fate rather than running off to live another day.

We’ve also got the very shallow kind of romance at the ready here. Yes, Kronos saved Carla’s life so you can see why she would be grateful but this doesn’t immediately have to turn into a relationship. She jumps right into the one night stand kind of situation without batting an eye. I feel like the Hammer films like to use any excuse for a bit of fanservice. It’s not as crazy as in some of their other titles but still comes across as unnatural.

The characters also aren’t all that interesting. Professor Grost is easily rage baited by the villains to the point where he doesn’t realize that they were being paid off to instigate a fight. Both Kronos and Carla seemed to figure that out right away so why didn’t the professor? He is a good ally to have around and helps out a lot with the weapons and everything but you feel like he could have done a whole lot better.

As for Kronos, well I suppose he’s your classic hero. I don’t get the feeling that he is the most dependable guy in a relationship with how fast he was moving here but maybe he wouldn’t rebound later on. His fighting skills are pretty good though and surpass the film’s budget. He essentially vanishes mid combat to show off how fast he is. I appreciate that from a power level sense but then his final plan is terrible. He sends Carla into the vampire’s lair as bait and then takes his sweet time to get there. He takes the time to look at a skull in the upper floors and this distracts him while Carla is attacked.

If not for a significant degree of plot armor, she would have been dead. Prior to Carla, all of the other victims were destroyed right away. A good example of this was earlier in the same film. The heroes all staked out the location where the vampire would be striking and a girl was walking on by. Well, they lost sight of her and so she was destroyed before she could even get close. Not a good look at all. It’s why you feel like Kronos should have done a lot more before the ending.

As for the vampire, well the identity of the final boss is a twist of course. Still, I wouldn’t say that the villain was very impressive or imposing. This long term plan had a ton of risks with it and I would say that the character even got lucky. It’s not like vampires ever tend to be all that interesting but this was still pretty egregious even for that. You also had a pair of siblings who are around for lore but don’t do much of anything. It was a little funny to see them standing so still in the background during the big battle.

The final battle is essentially fencing so it wasn’t terribly interesting but I give the film some credit there. Still, there is just nothing really to enjoy about the film. If you heavily lean into the action angle then it is possible to make a vampire film that is actually decent but it is incredibly difficult and not something that just any title can do.

There isn’t much to talk about regarding the setting as it looks like basically any old town. The writing is okay I suppose but just about everyone in town seems to be evil. There aren’t many characters that Kronos can count on. The doctor who invited him there had to be bumped off naturally and it wasn’t the most painless way to go out either. The other humans at the bar didn’t even need to be mind controlled because they were already content to murder the main characters for a little money. With humanity being so corrupt in this town, it’s no wonder that a vampire was able to get so far.

Overall, This film was definitely a mess and is not going to end up being known as a solid title. It does at least try to have the usual twists and turns but ultimately comes down to just being another slasher title. It takes forever for Kronos to stop the vampire from murdering everyone and so the victory feels hollow. It doesn’t even make all that much sense on why Kronos left without Carla. She totally could have kept going on the journey and instead it seems like he’ll probably just be rebounding before now. Perhaps this could have become a really cool movie series some day but that day isn’t today.

Overall 1/10

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom Review

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Aquaman has returned for the big sequel. This one’s definitely taking a bit of a different approach from the first as it goes for the buddycop genre this time. It’s a pretty good idea since the banter tends to be fun but Aquaman himself tends to hold that back. Ultimately this one’s a bit of a roller coaster with a lot of ups and downs but by the end I’d still say it was a good film.

The movie starts off by showing how Aquaman has been a terrible ruler to Atlantis. He has let the council walk all over him and finds himself bored with all of his official duties. What he doesn’t realize is that Black Manta has been taking this time to work on a plan to destroy the ruler. Manta is working with a mysterious villain in the shadows who has been granting him great technology and physical abilities. Aquaman will need to find a way to track this guy down before his plan can succeed. The only way to get around this is to team up with his old foe…the Ocean Master!

Ocean Master, aka Orm is definitely the best character here. It’s easy to see how he would have been a great king. He has the right temperament for it and also has a lot of experience and general knowledge. It makes sense since he was raised to take the throne from birth after all. Now to balance this out the film does show that Aquaman is the stronger fighter. Still, it’s not by a wide margin and Orm tends to outshine him in all other categories. If the series had kept going it would be interesting to have had Orm be the main villain again. Have him make a play for the throne, not because he is crazy but because he thinks that Aquaman will be the downfall of Atlantis. Additionally more screentime for him would not be a bad thing since Orm is also responsible for all of the film’s funniest moments.

I mentioned earlier that the banter doesn’t match some other titles and none of that is Orm’s fault. He dominates in every scene that he has with the exception of Aquaman tricking him into some gross humor. Yes, Aquaman is one of the weakest parts of the film. I can’t say that I’ve been a big fan of his portrayal over the years and this may be his most drastic one yet. The guy can’t really handle any serious conversations and constantly thinks with his muscles. He gets the two of them into trouble many times and never grows into the ruler that he could be. You just wouldn’t want to be friends with this guy.

I would argue that he doesn’t have much of a character arc here because I don’t think he would handle any of the situations differently in a future film. With solid writing you could probably get around that but this isn’t really the film for that. The humor tends to miss most of the time and relies on more crude humor than I’ve seen in a long while. The movie even has to repeat the worst jokes more than once in case the audience didn’t get it.

The movie can have some decent humor like Manta toying with one of his minions or Orm subtlety insulting Aquaman but it does tend to get overwhelmed by the negative moments. The worst jokes are what keeps this film from having real replay value because you just wouldn’t want to go through it all again. It’s the type of movie that will do its best through Youtube shorts for the best moments.

There is definitely a lot of action in the film but not too many fight scenes. The two best fights in the film are when Aquaman fights Manta in round 1 and then the 2 v 1 against him in the climax. I wanted to see more of that because those fights were bright and fast paced. You really get to enjoy the choreography there and feel the intensity of the battles. The film nearly gives us one more but chooses to end the climax on more of a gag this time. It’s a decent gag but personally I wanted to see the big villain get to fight. Based on the hype he was getting, that would have been a really epic showdown.

The general action scenes don’t work as well because of how many involve being underwater. It’s been many years and films still have yet to make underwater fighting all that much fun. Without a place to land and pivot, fight scenes don’t have the same depth. There tend to be a lot of giant encounters as well so you’re not getting much choreography there. I still appreciate having the action of course but will always prefer fight scenes. The special effects were pretty solid all around though. I’m glad they kept in the shockwaves for all of the big power attacks because that’s still the best way to show off super strength.

Black Manta is the main villain for most of the film and definitely does a good job there. He constantly makes sure that his underlings are following his lead. He’s not looking for sympathy or anything and is just focused on his big revenge mission. He comes close to taking out Aquaman on different occasions and honestly should have the edge most of the time since his heat laser can take out just about anyone in a single shot.

Stephen is a particularly weak character though as he just seems wishy washy the whole time. He knew from the start that he was joining the villains by working for Black Manta. It’s way too late in the game to be having second thoughts about that and I certainly didn’t take them seriously. I would have preferred for Manta to take him down at some point.

Manta has another much more loyal subordinate but she ultimately doesn’t get to do too much. Of course there is Manta’s partner from the shadows who is really solid but ultimately doesn’t get to do a whole lot here. Aquaman’s supporting cast get to show off their powers a bit but for the most part this is the Orm and Aquaman show on the heroes side. If they ever made an Orm solo title that could be a lot of fun. The stakes by the end of the film are high enough where I dare say we should have seen some guest star appearances but I suppose everyone might have been busy.

Overall, How much you enjoy the film will probably depend on how much you enjoy Aquaman and the humor style of the film. If you enjoy them both then this will probably be an elite film because the rest of the film’s fundamentals are sound. If you don’t enjoy them, then you are counting on the action being enough to get you through this. Hopefully if we get another Aquaman film someday the humor style will be a bit more mature. At the very least you don’t want scenes that really make you cringe like some of the moments here. Just try to focus on the fights and Orm showing why he should be the proper king of Atlantis.

Overall 6/10

The Beekeeper Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

The Beekeeper is a pretty fun movie. It’s essentially taking a lot of inspiration from John Wick while adding in a little extra humor. How intentional the humor is may be up for debate but I do think it is winking at you throughout the whole runtime. My only main issue with the film is that I wouldn’t have added so much lore around the Beekeepers. It would be infinitely funnier if the main guy is just a normal dude who likes bees and in this world people are just scared of bee enthusiasts.

The movie starts with a scammer tricking a lady into surrendering all of her money as well as the money that belonged to a charity that she helped out. She ends up shooting herself and so Adam, the local beekeeper goes out for revenge. He takes out the scammers in a matter of minutes but it turns out that this was just one branch of a much larger organization. They considered the opening attack to be a declaration of war and are putting all of their agents into the field to take Adam out. Can Adam really defeat these guys, the FBI, CIA, and everyone else who is out to get him?

Power fantasy is a genre that is popular for anime but doesn’t happen as much in live action. You may get the occasional title but even movies like Superman and He Man aren’t generally leaning into that. This one is much more direct as Adam is shown to be able to take down whole squads single handily. He’s not better than them by a little bit, but by a wide margin. He’s on a whole different level and that’s considering that he is holding back quite a bit. For the most part he isn’t trying to murder these guys.

Well, he tends to murder the foot soldiers but holds back a little against the bosses. He begins to hold back less and less as the film goes on though. There’s just not a whole lot of mercy left within the guy and every time the villains return he’s feeling less charitable. In a sense the film shows that Adam should have taken out the main leader the first time since it would have prevented a whole lot of retaliation at first.

Now this is definitely a film that benefits from the edited version because the script is very modern. Particularly from Derek, the big mastermind behind all of the scammers. That guy talks like a kid on his XBox the whole time. Now, it can be funny to see just how out of sync with reality he is. He’s constantly poking fun at his underlings and criticizing how they deliver their messages. This guy always has a witty comeback for everything and even talks tough to Adam during their initial meeting.

He’s extremely whiny and that’s essentially the point. He has been gifted a whole empire that he doesn’t really deserve. Derek would never have gotten to the top without the influence of his mother and is always playing catch up. The only reason he lasts so long in the film is because of how many meat shields are put in front of him. Don’t expect this guy to be getting any fight scenes but he has plenty of underlings who can fulfill that role.

In particular there are at least two fighters who try to give Adam a run for his money. The first is another Beekeeper but “try” is the key word here. She is never really a threat and that was pretty nice to see. Often times you see every member of a group is roughly equal but this movie was reminding us that Adam was special. He’s not just any Beekeeper, he’s the strongest one there is. A fighter without peer. The fight was short and to the point.

The much more intense fight was in the climax against a man who has already defeated a beekeeper in the past. To that guy’s credit, he very nearly manages to defeat Adam. He was really just a move or two away from winning. While it’s true that Adam would have been weakened from the fights leading up to that moment, I’d still give a lot of credit for going close because that’s more than most others could do.

I would also note that Adam is strictly an anti-hero here. While it’s true that he initially enters battle to avenge the lady who was scammed, he does take things very far. His kill count is massive by the end and he is destroying everyone in his way. Guys like the Punisher would applaud his efforts to be sure. Ultimately he had an objective and saw it through to the end. The situation makes that difficult for the groups like FBI who are tasked with defending the villains. You feel bad for them but there’s ultimately not much that Adam can do about that. If you side with the villains then you ultimately have to be taken down with them. Unless you are Superman, you’re not going to have any easy ways to spare them all without endangering the mission.

In general the government is pretty fun to have around as antagonists though. There is a ton of corruption going on here as everyone is keeping their secrets. There is even a twist about the villain’s mother which ties into all of this. The FBI subplot may feel pointless at times but I would say that’s part of the humor. Veronica is shown to be a terrible cop throughout the movie. She can’t control her emotions, lashes out all the time, gets drunk, etc. Yet somehow she is the top FBI agent and always 3 steps behind Adam.

Adam may be helping to avenge her mother but Veronica still wants to take him down right away. She brings up the classic argument of how the laws will fix this, knowing good and well that they can’t go after scammers from different countries. Nothing would happen with the legal system here. It doesn’t mean that you abandon it of course, but she shouldn’t try to pretend like they will actually do anything. They’d probably just make Adam disappear using extra legal methods and that’s about it.

The film is definitely pretty violent so you should keep that in mind if you’re not great with that stuff. Adam is particularly vindictive against the scammers so he actively pulls off some torture before murdering each member. There are a lot of broken bones/missing limbs in addition to the bloodshed. Throw in the film’s incredibly quick pacing and that makes for a lot of violence. I gotta say, the film crams in a whole lot of plot in this adventure. It’s impressive just how much gets done and what a big supporting cast we have here.

I do standby what I said about not needing the lore for the Beekeepers though. All of the lines in the film about Adam being a beekeeper are really funny under the context of them being afraid because he likes bees. Once we get into a whole group and the government rankings then the film starts taking itself a bit too seriously. The concept is still funny enough on its own but we just didn’t need all of that if you ask me. The rest of the government stuff can stay. In general I still like seeing the meetings and seeing how everyone plans to deal with Adam. There are quite a few conversations that happen purely to increase Adam’s reputation. Whenever any of the minions tries to say that he’s just a guy, he is immediately and decisively corrected.

Overall, The Beekeeper is a pretty good film. It is really about showing just how strong Adam is and works like wish fulfillment with how the scammers are all defeated. If only someone would put a stop to them like that in real life. Eventually some scammers are stopped but it feels like new ones always arrive. It’ll be interesting to see how the sequel goes. There are a lot of fun directions you can take this film in. One thing’s for sure, Adam is going to really be dominating whoever goes after him. I don’t see the films trying to add anyone who is directly on his level. Adam is basically superhuman, there is nobody on his level. If you like a good action title then I recommend this one.

Overall 7/10

The Towering Inferno Review

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It’s time for a really long film. This movie definitely wasn’t trying to be one of those titles that you breeze through in 30 minutes! Fortunately while this is one of those films that does feel really long, it does make good work out of the time. You could definitely have cut out about 20-30 minutes of lingering shots where the film was trying to show off but otherwise most of it was for character moments. A disaster film should be trying to build up a lot of characters so you can see who cracks and who doesn’t as the situation gets serious.

The film starts off with the completion of a giant skyscraper. The owner wants to show this off and so a bunch of rich celebrity types are invited to the mass unveiling. All of the lights will be turned on for each floor so that the building can be seen from anywhere in the city. It is a technological marvel and the architect, Doug, is pretty proud of what he has accomplished. Unfortunately he finds out that they tried saving a bunch of costs by not putting in the advanced wiring that he asked for. Sure enough, the building catches fire and now we have a situation where thousands may die. He will have to work with the firefighters to put a stop to this.

First off I have to say that Doug really should take no blame in this situation. He absolutely did everything right but recommending they use wiring above industry standards and put in a bunch of fail safes. The fact of the matter is that his plans would have prevented the fire from ever happening and it is entirely on management that this situation got so crazy. They all ought to be ashamed of themselves. As a result Doug is definitely one of the most likable characters in the film. He puts his life on the line throughout in order to solve this problem and save lives. It’s why he’s here.

The biggest villain here has to be Roger. He’s not exactly subtle either, the film pushes him as being super evil to the point of being cartoony. He actually pushes someone off to his death and spends the whole film being drunk and really defensive about everything. So if you thought that maybe he was just misunderstood, think again! He’s just not that kind of character. Quite a few characters show their true colors like that although none to that degree. There were several characters running for the one seated pulley despite drawing lots earlier.

The body count is also rather big so you shouldn’t think that things are going to be going easy since it’s “just a building fire”. This is a skyscraper so that’s what makes things different. There are tons of floors and while most of them were evacuated in time, not all of them were. One group was cheating up on one of the higher floors which basically sealed their doom. That’s a trope I definitely don’t mind. When you see characters just doing something wrong like that, having them get burned/bumped off simply makes sense.

On the hero’s side, Michael does really well in repping the firefighters. He is quick to take command of the situation and cuts most of the red tape that comes in. It’s clear that he has little patience for the bureaucratic stuff as he wants to just get into the action to save people. Without him forcing things along, the casualties would have been much higher

How you feel about the film’s pacing will likely come down to how much you enjoy the fire scenes. After all there isn’t going to be a whole lot of variety after a while. You can only show someone burning up so many ways and same for the various floors exploding. I thought the film did a good job of keeping up the tension throughout though. The pacing is slow but the good writing helps to counter that. You’re certainly not going to be bored or anything as you watch the film.

The effects definitely hold up well and there is some actual music in the film which is surprising. Sometimes these titles just don’t have much of a pulse to keep things realistic but this film realized that it couldn’t hurt. I don’t really have any big negatives for the film. I’d say that it’s a fairly safe thriller title with a lot of action and it is actually hard to predict who will be included in the body count. The film has some surprising moments in that area so that you understand how nobody is safe.

The ending may not be the most satisfying as a result but it’s not really something I would shave a star off for. The movie doesn’t have a lot of deep themes or anything like that so after the film what you’ll mostly be pondering is if there were any other ways to escape. Personally I think going for the stairs right away would have been the best move but they didn’t really think about it until it was too late. I would not want to go into the elevator by any means so I’d probably have taken my chances inside the big room. That’s part of what makes the film scary though, there were no obvious ways to survive. In that sense it is more threatening than the other disaster films where usually I can backseat drive quite a lot. I’m not counting films where the entire planet is going to be destroyed of course.

Overall, The Towering Inferno is certainly a fitting title and the movie did a lot with its visuals. Fire is absolutely a powerful force and this is basically the worst nightmare of anyone who is staying at a giant building like this. I never like being too high up in general and this film reinforces that. If any emergency happens, you always want to be closer to the ground. If you like disaster films then you should definitely check this one out. It’s well made and I can see why it has such a strong reputation. It actually gives you a full setup as all of the characters are introduced before things go crazy so you’re bound to have at least a few that you are rooting for.

Overall 7/10

Sneakers Review

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It’s time for an Oceans 11 type of film that I hadn’t really heard of before. This one has aged well and I just enjoy these kind of heist stories. There is a good sense of danger throughout even if the ending is perhaps a bit more optimistic than what would likely be happening here. The important thing is that the movie wasn’t going to end on a super sour note and I definitely appreciate that.

The movie starts with Martin and Cosmo using their hacking skills to steal a ton of money from rich people and reallocating it to their favorite social causes. Cosmo ends up being captured by the cops while Martin escapes and changes his identity. Many years pass by and now the NSA has caught up to him. They blackmail Martin with his past and say that they will keep it quiet if he steals something from them. A powerful new kind of hacking equipment that can get decrypt any security system in an instant. Martin gets his team ready for this but should he really give such a powerful piece of equipment to the government?

A big theme in the film is about not trusting anyone. Everyone has some kind of an angle here and you’ve got quite a few factions running around. The Russians are behind every corner of course and all the letter agencies would be interested in this as well. Just stealing the thing won’t be easy either as Martin runs into his past on this adventure. That said, Martin isn’t as indecisive as you may expect with these stakes. He just can’t let the blackmail get out under any circumstances and so he is ready to play ball with the government right from the beginning of this story. He never looks back either and just gets to completing the mission.

Something I appreciated about the film is that all of his teammates are important. The film balances them all rather well. First up we have Whistler who is blind. You may figure this will make him ineffective in most situations but he actually does really well and even gets the MVP spot. He’s the reason they find the enemy base, the reason they had an escape route, etc. Without him they would not have lasted long here. His senses are virtually superhuman.

Then you have Donald who used to work with the CIA. He has a lot of connections as a result and is the most professional member of the group. He has a gun at the ready and bails Martin out from a trap. Definitely the muscle behind the team and he keeps Marin from being too impulsive. Martin does well as the leader but he absolutely does tend to be pretty emotional and lose his cool.

After that is Carl who is the youngest member. He tends to do a lot of the grunt work like hacking at close range or being the guy to pull off social engineering. Carl can be the most annoying one as well though as he gets distracted on the missions and tends to be a little girl crazy. To an extent they all are, but the others at least try to hide it. By default the smallest role would be Darren who handles all of the tech. He makes sure that everything is working well on the ground which is why his codename is “Mother”. So he’s very important but gets a little less to do in terms of individual scenes.

There’s also the main heroine Liz who used to date Martin but managed to get out of that situation. Well when he asks her for help, Liz can’t really bring herself to refuse. She probably should have to be honest though. She’s stuck with the worst tasks like seducing someone to get his voice on record. That’s always a very tired spy trope that never really works without the victim just looking bad. In this case Liz got super sloppy though which put her in a tricky spot.

As for the main villain, well he is pretty good but definitely too indecisive. He can never seem to decide if his main goal is something really personal to him or for the greater good. He tries to use the latter as his reasoning a lot but it always tends to come off as a cover story. Really this guy just wants to prove that he is better than Martin and messes up a lot of his free shots by the end. He could have come out on top easily in this film if he didn’t make massive errors. I thought he made for a good villain overall though. He was certainly entertaining even if he wasn’t always very effective.

The pacing is pretty good here and the writing is solid. It does have the occasional miss when it comes to the jokes but nobody bats 1000. The end of the climax also may have been a little too goofy at the end. The film is part comedy but up to that point the serious scenes were mostly played straight. I suppose they just wanted to have a bit of fun with the ending and it’s a short scene so it’s not like I had any big issues with it. It just felt a little jarring with the timing and all.

The movie really made the most of the tech aspect of the heist. I enjoyed the challenge of Martin having to move really slowly to get past one of the security systems for example. There were a lot of things that had to go right for the heist but they all felt like fairly reasonable challenges without a whole lot of plot armor. There will always be a little bit of that in a film like this but it was never excessive.

Overall, Sneakers is a pretty good film. I had fun with it and it succeeds in being entertaining all the way. There may be a twist that you see coming a mile away but it’s still a good plot on the whole. The title of the film also stands out and is a really good pun. If you’re looking for a well balanced film then I would check this one out. It may not become your next favorite hit but there aren’t a ton of heist films out there and this one holds up with the ones that are already out.

Overall 7/10

Project Hail Mary Review

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It’s time to check out a sci-fi film that came out a while back and got a ton of buzz. Sci-Fi is one of those genres that can be really good when used right. You get to see characters running around with giant energy guns, using advanced suits of armor, etc. It all blends together to make for a really good experience but then you have other titles which forego all of the cool elements and try to go for some deep storytelling and lore. Unfortunately this one unsuccessfully tries for that angle a whole lot and ends up being a bit of a drawn out mess.

The movie begins by explaining that the Sun is slowly being taken down by an army of powerful organisms. They are smaller than the normal eye can see but they are shutting down every star in the system. Ryland is contacted by the world’s unified agency which is trying to save the planet. After all if the Sun goes out, then Earth has no more hope left. Ryland is super skeptical about going to space but when he wakes up after stasis, he is the final survivor. It is all up to him now but can he really claim victory here?

You can tell that the government was desperate since it’s not like Ryland really had too many answers here. He just has one breakthrough but sometimes that is where science can start. So a lot of the film is really split between a bunch of flashbacks where we see what happened and how Ryland got into space. He has amnesia in the present which is always a convenient way to avoid spoiling the flashbacks. Then in the present he takes a while to get used to the gameplan after some initial panicking.

I feel like the story was mostly concealed for the trailers so I’ll avoid too many of the specifics but the film’s story takes a pretty big change when he is no longer struggling by himself in space. Unfortunately I would say it wasn’t a great development to turn things around. This is actually a film where I dare say it could have been improved by a bit of romance or at least some banter with another humanoid running around. The romance would have probably been rushed so the latter would be preferable.

This film falls into the issues that most films have when there is only one main character. It can be rather boring. This is a long film that feels like a very long film and that’s always a problem. You will have very long scenes of the film trying to show off is special effects or panning around the spaceship to show you how accurate it is. That will probably appeal to some space fans but I’m really just here for a lot of excitement and quick pacing. It never goes to the absurd lengths of 2001: A Space Odyssey at least.

That will always go down as being the worst sci-fi film. That said, this one could have easily shaved off 30-40 minutes and been in a better space. Any Ryland scene from when he first wakes up is annoying as he just acts drunk the whole time. Again this is the film trying to show how realistic it is since you would be out of sorts with amnesia waking up after a super long coma but these are the kinds of details that you don’t need.

The pacing is at a glacial pace and again that is because we didn’t have other characters to bounce off of. This is one of those few examples where I can say that the flashbacks were far more interesting than the present day stuff. We got to see the governments working together, some shady stuff, and most importantly just a lot of dialogue back and forth. I would have liked it if every scene was on Earth and we just direct the people in space on how to save the Sun. You could still have a lot of tension with communications going out or the countries starting to fight each other which causes a lot of issues.

In space the best chance for you to enjoy the film is if you enjoy a friendship that occurs up there. Unfortunately the character they chose just isn’t all that interesting. This is one of those cases where I would say the design is partially at fault here because there is just nothing you can really do with that. You’ll just be shaking your head at the big reveal. It’s not like this is the first time a story has gone in this direction. There are a decent amount of similar designs out there but they never really tend to be all that cool.

At least I didn’t really have any issues with the main character. He did pretty well in his experiments and I also thought he made the right call in running for it during one of the flashbacks. I do think he could have fought a whole lot harder but it’s not like this guy is a trained fighter. So I didn’t want to be too harsh on him or anything like that.

Ultimately the film is going for a bit of an upbeat vibe. There is a body count to be sure and you could say it’s implied that things are much worse than what we see but the characters never lose hope. Ryland keeps his head down and works hard throughout. He may have personally lost hope at some points but would still get back up there. Personally being in a space ship so far away from home would be absolutely terrifying so just being able to get past that is a good look for him.

The advice I’d give for this film is just similar to what I put for After-Earth. In any sci-fi film you should try to keep at least some of the basic concepts around or you are wasting the whole point of being a sci-fi. There should be cool aliens, great looking backgrounds of sci-fi locations that don’t exist in real life, cool weapons, etc.

This film doesn’t have much of that. In many ways you could do this film without the sci-fi part The whole Sun part could still be around with normal radiation hitting it or something and then the rocket ride. So if you are going to go the sci-fi route, then I’d say go all the way and just make it a blast. Also we don’t need the lingering shots in space and all that. Space all tends to look the same after a while and we need the pacing to stay fast.

Overall, I would definitely give this one a pass. The plot has an interesting premise with the Sun going out but then the rest of the execution just falls apart. The film is way too long and loses sight of the number one objective, which is to remain entertaining at all times. It just doesn’t prioritize being fun and doesn’t make for a satisfying watch. I did appreciate the Football terminology though. I would always go for the Hail Mary in Madden and it’s honestly a great play to run on 1st and 10 because nobody ever expects it.

Overall 4/10