Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

Explorers Review

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It’s time for a film about a few kids who decide to explore the unknown and have some wacky adventures. Generally this kind of film isn’t really my style. The kids usually aren’t the greatest main characters and you’re just waiting for the grownups to step in. Additionally this time the plot seems a little unfocused with subplots not really going anywhere. The real world plot was also a lot more interesting than space which is something that should really never happen. That’s when you know that the film made some strategic errors.

The film starts with a kid named Ben having some dreams that look like what you would see in a Tron film. All kinds of sci-fi computer chips and such. Fortunately he is good at drawing what he sees and so his super genius friend Wolfgang is able to make an invention out of this. It’s a sort of bubble that can travel across large distances. So naturally they build a spaceship during the night. Now they are ready to space but is this safe? There may even be some aliens out there.

One thing I’ll give the film credit for is not making the main 3 kids jerks or anything like that. For all intents and purposes they are good kids. Perhaps a bit too eager to grow up like with drinking beer and Ben having a huge crush but they aren’t juvenile delinquents or anything like that. They just have a ton of free time so they may as well get to inventing. The film is a good portrayal of how you can have fun doing anything when you’ve got some friends at the ready.

I will also say that the effects are pretty solid. Again, that Tron type world in the dreams looks really good. The flying around may be less impressive but all in all you can tell that some real effort went into this production. The soundtrack is also very lively. Perhaps not something that you will be jamming to but at least you can’t say that the music is invisible. I will always prefer a loud soundtrack to a movie where you don’t remember what any of the tunes were at all.

Now on the weaker parts, well like I said the characters aren’t the greatest. Ben is basically your average kid but he has a huge crush on a girl at school and basically isn’t able to talk to her at all without stuttering. The romance is really not developed well at all and doesn’t make any sense. Lori and Ben have almost no time for any interactions during the movie so the ending just feels really obligatory.

Lori is okay I suppose but of course she doesn’t really have much character either. By all accounts she’s a nice person within the school but that’s about it. Then you have Darren who seems to have grown up in a rather rough environment. He was pretty hesitant about going back home for example. This doesn’t really go anywhere though so we just have to hope that things got better for him later on. At school he was quick to defend Ben from the bullies so that was good.

From the 3 main kids he would definitely be my favorite. After that we have Wolfgang who is the genius who builds everything. He’s certainly very smart and is a good sport about things but also tends to panic a lot. He worries about every possibility and doesn’t live in the moment as much as the other two. You want him on your team to build everything but he needs to lighten up a bit.

Now the film does have a pretty interesting concept that is introduced about a shared dream world that can be accessed through an alien gizmo. While you are dreaming is when you go to this kind of Tron world. This is how the kids have the blue print for the ship and so it served as a map of sorts. Alien tech is always pretty interesting even if there aren’t a lot of explanations going around. Why is this even a thing and what causes other people to be pulled into it? The main kids all share this world after a while and eventually even Lori gets in there.

The space act is just rather boring like I mentioned before. You have a weird alien who flirts with one of the kids and everyone else starts talking using pop culture references and such. It kind of makes sense that aliens would only know humanity through TV if the signals are all that they could grab. Although at the same time I feel like it means their intelligence is pretty low. Every film still has some kind of a plot, even commercials so shouldn’t they be able to talk normally instead of just using memes and big sound bites?

I mean the aliens are clearly intelligent because they were able to invent all of this technology. It reminds me of when in a show some animals will speak perfect English and then raise a kid who speaks broken English. Like why would that even happen? It just doesn’t make sense once you actually think about it. The film thinks the aliens are absolutely hilarious though so their scenes feel like they go on for quite a long while but get repetitive real fast. The aliens also just seem like creeps so it was probably good to ditch them.

As a result of spending so much time on the alien world we had to abruptly end the plot about two rangers finding out about the UFO and one of them being particularly obsessed with it. He basically just pulls a Spiderverse “Not bad kid” as they dash off in the UFO. Pretty convenient outcome for the kids since he won’t be telling anybody about the ship or doing anything about it. That felt really abrupt and it’s a shame because we could have had a fun government angle.

Overall, This film feels like it’s a bit all over the place. I actually think it could have been a fairly decent school story although it’s not like it would have been amazing or anything like that. Instead going to space was a total mistake and this film is a reminder to me on why you want some adult main characters. The kids are not able to hold their own at all here. It’s a pretty harmless film, no big issues but it’s not really going to be holding your interest either. I’d say to watch Back to the Future instead if you want some slice of life shenanigans.

Overall 5/10

Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 Review

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All right if someone asked me if I could survive 5 nights at Freddy’s I would definitely say yes. The animatronics are slow and clunky so that’s not a problem. If they asked me if I could survive 5 more nights? Well now that’s getting tricky. The monsters in this film seem to be considerably more powerful than in the first film although I would say that they are still under the average horror title. For that reason nobody in this film is really putting up much of a fight most of the time.

The film starts off with Mike trying his best to forget the events of the first film. He figures the best way to do this is to gaslight Abby into thinking that he will fix the old robots when he doesn’t plan to. Then on the side Mike is trying his best to fix Vanessa from all of her childhood trauma but Mike doesn’t really have the temperament for such a journey. Eventually his plans fall through and Abby runs back into Freddy’s to bring her friends back while Vanessa heads over for some closure. Unfortunately they both end up bringing something far darker back into the world. And yes…there are now two Freddy’s locations.

This is definitely one of those films where everyone looks pretty bad which is what the villains are able to capitalize on. For example in the first flashback scene we see how William wasn’t exactly subtle in grabbing one of the kids to destroy but even when another kid notices, nobody wants to help. The adults are painfully oblivious and almost go out of their way to ignore the situation. Then once it all happens, we see how the media blamed this on the kid who died. Now that was crazy and it sets the stage for how this is a world without a whole lot of empathy. Everyone is just looking out for themselves here and they don’t want to stick their neck out.

The fact that this happened before the other 5 murders is also crazy because it really shows how William was allowed to do whatever he wanted to do. Now in the present, we’ve got a number of plots going on. For Abby’s, well I feel like she looks really bad here. She wants to bring the robots back since some of them had her friends from the beyond but even in the first film it was always a 50/50 chance at best on if they were actually the kids. Usually they were the evil demon robots so she is risking everyone’s lives for a small chance. Not a smart thing to do.

Abby definitely shouldn’t have been going to Freddy’s by herself. Then we have Mike who comes across as really annoying the whole time. He gets upset with Abby when she notices that he’s been lying a lot and that’s on him. Then even after Vanessa has saved his life on multiple occasions and saved Abby, he still tells her off. There are some things like a life debt which should not be so easily broken. Certainly not in this manner. Mike really needed to lock in more.

He got one good scene where he actually fights one of the animatronics but that’s about it for him. Then we have Vanessa who is dealing with the most issues right now. William is still attacking her through dreams which she just barely manages to survive through. It feels like there is only a matter of time before she falls to him unless she can find a way to destroy him forever. Of course that is not going to be easy.

Then Vanessa has to deal with the new villain of the movie, The Marionette. Unfortunately a gun isn’t going to do a whole lot to this thing. She definitely should have told Mike more about what was going on but I still tend to place more of the blame on him for not taking the news well at all. With the stakes this high, there is no time to be falling apart at the seams.

The Marionette makes for a pretty strong villain. She leaves more of an impact than a lot of the different Freddy creatures and for now I would say she was more impressive than William as well. She has a good amount of space and can basically take control of someone’s body which is a really big deal. I suppose that the name is quite fitting.

On that note, the main Freddy crew don’t get to do quite as much here. They threaten the humans a whole lot and are always on the move but don’t technically produce a whole lot of results. More often than not they are foiled at the last second. The body count is a bit smaller than you may have initially guessed. Also unless you are a hardcore fan you will have some trouble differentiating the designs between the new ones and the old ones even when you see them back to back.

The film does go all in on the jump scares though. There is a lot going on at all times and the characters act super suspicious the whole time. There’s a new night guard named Michael for example who seems ominous the whole time. He’s constantly grinning and seems to know a whole lot about Freddy’s. They’re going to want to keep an eye out for him. So the film knows how to be scary.

Then on the other hand it also has some funny moments. I liked the cab driver who was always ready to break the ice. There’s also a mean science teacher who is a complete antagonist but does a really good job within the role like when he “accidentally” broke a girl’s toy. This guy has clearly been in the game for a long time. The film certainly leans harder on horror than comedy but handles both genres rather well.

The writing and script are certainly not realistic but you can put that to the same camp. The film also still keeps itself from being too violent. It’s maybe a little more violent than the first one but I would say that it was close. There is less focus on all the kids who got murdered from the first film which is a good thing. I would also say that the film’s story is a lot more interesting now that it is embracing all of the crazy characters. It was sad that Golden Freddy didn’t show up but I guess the film was getting rather packed.

There are quite a few clffhangers in the film too which sets up the third film nicely. First up we already have a main villain, then a returning villain shows up, and then a hype message which might signal a third one. In theory it’ll be hard for the heroes to stop these guys next time because there is no longer any kind of an off button. Physically these creatures are mainly still robots so you can mess them up but that requires no tripping or panicking which is rare.

For the next film I would like to see some more action though. One issue I have with this one is that the animatronics all tend to look very slow aside from the Marionette and just don’t seem to be a huge threat. Mike takes one out extremely easily in one scene and it feels like that would work on any of the others as well. So I feel like the next film needs to show them actually fighting and moving a bit quicker to make things scary again.

Overall, I definitely wouldn’t be eating at Freddy’s but the film does a good job of staying scary while adding in a lot of story this time around. The concept of Freddy’s is definitely an intense one. I am glad that the series continues to reign in the violence and doesn’t go for a ton of grit. It would be nice if we could go one film without children being among the fatalities though. This time it was brief and then it was over at least but we don’t need to retread the plots. Since this one hints at a much larger threat looming, it may be time to call in the government. Some may say that would be jumping the shark but I think it would be hype!

Overall 6/10

For Your Eyes Only Review

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It’s time for more James Bond. Now you all may remember 007 as the agent who is constantly on the back foot and getting crushed by all of his adversaries right? Well, that doesn’t change much here as he still gets crushed a lot but I will say he fares slightly better than in other films. It doesn’t take longer than the first 10 minutes or so for him to have to rely on plot armor though. This is a classic Bond film all the way through so if you have liked the prior films then you should enjoy this one as well.

The movie starts off with Blofeld returning to bump Bond off once and for all. He actually comes close but Bond is able to turn over the situation and literally make the guy beg for his life. The real mission starts when some kind of targeting system goes missing so Bond must now grab it before the soviets. He isn’t the only one after the villains though as a lady named Melina wants in on the action as well. Her parents were murdered by the culprits and so she seeks to take them all down. She may not have an all powerful spy network at her disposal but she has a car as well as a gun.

This makes her journey even more impressive with how she gets to one of the villain compounds and murders the leader. Bond isn’t ultra grateful but he was about to be murdered so he should actually be quite happy with her. His license to kill was about to be expired. Melina looks less impressive as she is manipulated into her next destination by the villains but I can’t blame her much because again she is doing all of this on her own. That is considerably different from what Bond has to go through so a trap or two makes sense.

Unfortunately she peeked with the opening fight scene. After that she’s basically just one of the Bond girls. Meanwhile Bond is his same old self. He can’t help but be a flirt in every situation and doesn’t let the gravity of the situation stick. The entire world is at stake and yet he’s still messing around with everybody. I really need Bond to lock in and focus here. The film reminds us about his wife who died and yet he is still having affairs? Not a very good look for him I gotta say.

Now the film doesn’t care much about the plot just like Bond. For the most part Bond just has to follow the dots and eventually get to the right answer so it’s not really a traditional mystery. Bond’s usually just walking when the villains show up to shoot him and then he gets some intel. I feel like they may have gotten away with this if they had just stayed quiet and not made a move. Sure, Bond was getting closer but I don’t think he would have made it in time.

The fight scenes are pretty good though. The series has always done well in this arena and I would say that this movie is no exception to that. The movie generally has a fun tone and even has a sense of humor. The film doesn’t get quite as silly as the last one but still has its moments. So if you’re looking for a fun action thriller then the film succeeds in that arena. You do have to still get around the usual issues though.

Aside from the endless fanservice and meaningless affairs, we also have an ice skating student who really wants Bond. While Bond for once had some class and said no, he is still unable to avoid her entirely. This whole subplot should have been cut because it was just annoying and didn’t need to be here. Additionally, it would have made the villain look a little better by default because one of his goals is basically to get the student which isn’t a great look.

We do get some fakeouts on who the actual villain is though so I appreciate that. Bond even ends up teaming up with one of these guys who is apparently able to keep up. It’s either a good look for that guy or a bad look for Bond. I’ll let you decide which one is more likely here. The Bond films always have the potential to be good here since the action works well. It’s a shame that such potential cannot be realized.

One more silver lining I will throw the film is that the pacing is pretty good. The Bond films all tend to be fairly long but this one doesn’t drag out or anything like that. It actually runs by pretty smoothly and I think in some ways that is because of all the action. It’s hard to drag out when the next combat scene is right around the corner. Bond even takes on an entire hockey team. While the first action scene of the film is played for laughs by the end, it was also still pretty exciting in that way.

As for the soundtrack, well the classic Bond theme is fun as always. That is something that the series really got right. Then we have the new intro song for the film which is supposed to be top tier although I wasn’t a big fan. Generally speaking I suppose I haven’t been a big fan of most of the Bond songs though. They just tend to be a bit too slow and out of energy for me. We need a full rock theme already.

Overall, The film fittingly ends on a note where a parrot is able to successfully outsmart M16 and troll for a bit. They eventually catch up and cut the feed but it’s too late by then. As bad as Bond can be at focusing, I dare say that the agency is worse with how they constantly panic at every opportunity. Every little thing seems to shake them up which is not good for such a large spy organization. I would expect better from them. The last film is definitely more exciting with the space climax though, we’ll see how the next film fares.

Overall 4/10

Wuthering Heights Review

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It’s time for a really crazy romance. This is one of those titles that is just so out there that you can scarcely believe it. There aren’t really any characters to root for and so the romance is doomed from the start. A tragic romance is actually something that can work well in theory but this was definitely not the way to go about it. Based on how it all went down, I can’t really say that any of the remakes would sound all that promising either.

The film starts off with a guy getting stranded in a desolate area and so he stops by the nearest castle for shelter. He’s treated terribly by the master of the house, Heathcliff but this guy puts up with it because there is nowhere to go. He hears a girl crying out from beyond the fog which causes Heathcliff to run outside and the maid lets the guy know that it is the ghost of his dead lover. This guy has nothing better to do so it asks to hear the whole story.

The trope of the whole film being a flashback from the present is still a super annoying one imo but that’s how it has to be this time. So in the flashback we see how Heathcliff was adopted by a rich man but he died shortly thereafter and so the son Hindley was super resentful towards Heathcliff. He made Heathcliff essentially a slave of the family and ruled with an iron hand. Heathcliff fell in love with Hindley’s sister Catchy and so they would hang out in secret. Unfortunately this was not enough for Cathy. Cathy wanted to be rich and so she would cheat on Heathcliff with a rich man named Edgar.

She plays around with both of them for a while before finally marrying Edgar. In revenge, Heathcliff decided to get insanely rich and then married Cathy’s sister Isabella. He didn’t love her but sought to use Isabella as a bargaining chip against Cathy. This essentially works as Cathy wants Heathcliff again and this whole romantic rollercoaster goes all around with everyone allowing themselves to be humiliated and degraded in this way. Ultimately after a while we get back to the point in the present which tries its best to have some kind of a happy ending but you’ll just be shaking your head.

Now where to start on this one? The reason the romance doesn’t work of curse is because none of the relationships are actually true. Cathy lives up to her villainous potential for wanting Heathcliff for his body and Edgar for his money. She’s the kind of girl that people warn you about and you assume just doesn’t exist because that’s such an exaggerated person. Unfortunately Cathy never does anything to improve as a person and is content to be cheating even on her death bed. A truly terrible character all the way.

It does take two to tango though and that’s why I can’t let Heathcliff or Edgar off the hook here. Edgar really needed to have some self respect here. Cathy made it clear from the start that she also liked Heathcliff and even though she eventually married Edgar, that’s not a very good way to start off a relationship. Edgar needed to take a hard stance and at least move them away but to me he almost seemed a little intimidated by Heathcliff. This guy just let Heathcliff walk all over him the whole time.

As for Heathcliff, well it’s not like he was a morally upstanding character from the start. He was bullied and abused quite a lot growing up which ultimately led him to want to lash out and take complete revenge. Instead of being the better man he was the kind of guy who would go an eye for an eye. It can sure be tempting to go down that route of course but man did it make him absolutely unlikable. At least if he kept his age to Hindley and Cathy that would be one thing, but he was shown to have no morals when he went for Isabella instead as the ultimate form of revenge.

Yeah there was definitely no saving this guy. The characters sure make it easy though. This is going to sound like victim blaming but hey all these characters are adults and should know better. Hindley allows himself to get addicted to alcohol which makes it really easy for Heathcliff to forever torment the guy. It’s all just so easy when it really shouldn’t be. Hindley was in the power position just a few years back and then after the time skip he was all washed up.

Meanwhile Isabella knew that she was the runner up prize and still went with Heathcliff. He barely even pretended to love her. It was the most half hearted performance he could have given and yet she still went with him. Cmon now that’s just crazy. From there it only gets worse for Isabella but this was not a surprise attack by any means. It was all plain as day and she just allowed herself to be used, perhaps as a way to try and one up Cathy but it didn’t work.

The cast of characters isn’t even that large but it feels really expanded because of how long each character is on screen. They just drag out each of the minutes over and over as you can’t help but shake your head. There’s nothing particularly noteworthy about the writing and the pacing is only okay. The issues really begin to snowball into each other after a while because as a romance film the characters are one of the most important parts. When you don’t have any likable characters, ultimately that means you have virtually nothing to work with here. Certainly not a big soundtrack or exciting action scenes to take the pressure off.

Overall, I would definitely say to give this film a skip. I dare say that Twilight makes for a more believable romance and that is not going to crack anyone’s top 10 romances. The only consolation I can give this film is that the title’s a little funny. The spelling just makes me think of someone saying “Wut?” even though that’s not the intent. I just don’t see how anyone would really find this to be romantic. Obviously a taboo romance like Romeo and Juliet has its share of appeal but at least they really loved each other with no caveats. In this film it feels like everything has an asterisk. Does Heathcliff really love the heroine or does he just want to essentially own her and claim his revenge? Does Cathy love him truly or is she just punishing herself by getting a guy that she feels she deserves? It’s all twisted and certainly not in an entertaining way.

Overall 2/10

My Man Godfrey Review

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It’s time for another fun movie. This one definitely goes all out with the comedy and introduces a ton of crazy characters. It ends up being a really fun adventure and doesn’t overstay its welcome. That is usually the most dangerous pitfall for any comedy film but this one sidestepped it like a champ.

The movie starts with a bunch of rich folks doing a scavenger hunt. One of the items is to find a homeless person so Cornelia goes to a dump and finds one. She offers him $5 but he doesn’t like her approach and says no. Cornelia’s little sister Irene is really impressed and the homeless man, Godfrey decides to help her win. After winning the competition, Irene hires Godfrey as her family’s butler. Unfortunately her whole family is quite eccentric to say the least and so he is going to be in for a really difficult time. In particular, Cornelia wants revenge on Godfrey for causing her to lose the competition and to fall in the dirt. He will have to watch his back.

It’s already difficult enough to get a new job as well as to be working or a rich family, but one where a certain member wants to see you fired immediately? Yeah that’s going to be an incredibly difficult task. Fortunately Godfrey is very quick witted and right from the start he is able to hold his own in terms of banter. He also doesn’t let the other characters walk all over him.

Godfrey also takes a lot of pride in being a good butler and so he doesn’t allow Cornelia’s digs to get to him. I would say that a large part of what makes the film enjoyable is what a good main character Godfrey is. The whole thing would definitely not work without him, it just would not be the same. He gets to take on all of the characters and usually comes out on top. He manages to resist all of Irene’s advances which is good because a butler shouldn’t be mixing business and pleasure.

I really appreciated his subtlety and that was a credit to him throughout. By the end of the film you could argue that things were essentially out of his control, not to mention that he wasn’t in the same position so it wasn’t as much of a problem. Up til that point though, Godfrey did well in staying one step ahead. He was also able to foil one of Cornelia’s plans really well which may have really been the turning point in his journey. If he had not been able to stop her, well it would have been quite rough for him.

As for Cornelia, well she is the big villain here. She does well in constantly insulting Irene and generally making a nuisance of herself. It’s impressive just how dedicated she is. That being said, she does seem to actually fall for Godfrey later on which really weakens her as a villain. You aren’t allowed to just weaken like that. I would have preferred that she continued to double down to the end. Perhaps she would respect Godfrey as a worthy foe but not want to be his friend or anything like that. To me that was just going a tad bit too far.

Irene initially seems like she’s actually rather normal but as the film goes on you see that she is just as crazy as the rest. She gets incredibly possessive of Godfrey and basically wants him to marry her. She seems to not really be familiar with what the role of a master/protege is. Godfrey tries to put some distance between them but it’s difficult and Irene has to consistently put on a whole production to get his attention.

Those scenes tend to be pretty fun though like when Cornelia points out how fake this all is. Irene trades threats with her a lot but you get the feeling that this is a normal occurrence and nothing ever actually happens. That’s just how this family operates. Their mother is also rather eccentric as she takes care of Carlo as a protégé. The guy’s basically a free loader who is always eating and is allergic to the word “money”. He throws a fit every time and tends to panic a lot. Irene’s father doesn’t appreciate this and never wastes any time in insulting this guy. By the end of the film he even takes a decisive step to get rid of Carlo.

The father ends up being the only really normal person in the family. He essentially works as a piggy bank to the rest of the family until they eventually bleed him dry which forces him to revisit the dynamic. The film ultimately gives all of the characters a pretty happy ending though. This is an uplifting title after all and is certainly not meant to be a downer or anything like that.

It even goes so far as to allow Godfrey to essentially end the homeless problem in his neighborhood. Now that was a pretty impressive accomplishment and certainly not one that just anybody could have done. So how much you enjoy the film will likely depend on how funny you think it is. Fortunately for me I thought that just about all of the jokes landed. The movie was consistently funny from start to finish with a lot of fun characters.

Overall, The only character who gets a bit of a sad ending here is the guy who was used by Irene in a fake engagement to get Godfrey jealous. He probably should have known better but yeah that was still a rough situation for him. The others were all having a good time though and I definitely recommend this film if you’re looking for something light to watch. I dare say that the fast paced banter and marathon’s worth of insults are even ahead of their time here. The characters are speaking a mile a minute and the dialogue stays consistently good throughout.

Overall 7/10

Uncle Buck Review

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It’s time for a classic film about what happens when all of the normal babysitters are out of town. It’s time to call in the last resort and this will either be a complete success or a total mess. There is rarely any in between when it comes to that. The movie ends up being pretty fun and was better than I expected it would be. The title’s far from perfect but makes for an all around entertaining film.

The movie starts out by introducing us to Maizy, the oldest of 3 kids and the most rebellious. She always has a bad attitude and nothing ever makes her happy. It seems like she even takes pride in always having an awful time. Well, her parents have to head off due to a medical emergency so now Uncle Buck will be the head of the household. Unfortunately for Maizy, Buck knows how to handle troublemakers. Who will win in this clash of wills?

One of the strengths of the film is in how secure Uncle Buck is. He doesn’t let any of the many jokes and wisecracks get to him. Maizy tries her passive aggressive insults at him and he just laughs them off. They clash several times and he wins virtually all of the encounters. The only time Maizy scores a win, Buck doesn’t panic and just accepts the defeat. He was determined to do a good job of watching over the kids and he succeeded.

Buck has been out of a job for a while and tends to be a bit of slob but he didn’t let that stop him as the babysitter. While Buck may not know the best ways to handle things, he does his best and comes up with creative ways to make it all work. He also cooks actual meals for the kids rather than just ordering take-out or something. What I’m getting at here is that he put in a lot of real effort and that’s part of what makes him an endearing character.

By the end of the film he has to make a lot of difficult decisions and while Buck hesitates, he makes the right calls in the end. In particular he was good about chasing Bug away and keeping him from causing too much damage to Maizy. At the end of the day it is up to her to really make the problem go away though as Buck can’t be there 24/7. Unfortunately Maizy doesn’t have a lot of sense and is easily the worst character here.

She is basically willing to do anything in order to spite Buck which is a terrible approach. Her rebellious phase went really far with how she was using Bugs as a means to an end. She really knew that he wasn’t a good guy but just kept doing whatever she wanted even when it meant leaving her two younger siblings alone. She was completely irresponsible to the max. Definitely a character who was annoying the entire time.

There’s not much to say about Bug other than the fact that he’s basically just a creep. It was nice to see Buck interrogating him the whole time and really putting some fear into him. Bug needs to be fearful so he doesn’t keep on messing around. I like to think that Buck scared him straight here. Meanwhile Maizy’s two siblings don’t get as much of a role as you might expect. Initially I though that all 3 characters would get big roles but this was really Maizy’s film by the end of it.

Miles and Tia were quickly on board with Buck so I appreciated how they adapted to the situation. They are a bit too young to be true rebels and mostly just seemed to have been copying their older sister. I think they will be in a better situation now. In general the kids tend to have a bit of a potty mouth though and it’s where the film’s script tends to be at its weakest. The lines sometimes feel rather forced like it’s just there to be shocking without really adding to the story. There are some good jokes in here too though so you could say the film has its ups and downs in that area.

The film tries to squeeze in a romance plot as well as Buck and Chanice have been going through some issues. She wants to get married already while he continues to put up resistance. It feels like one of those forced issues and I’m more on her side here. Either you are going to commit or you aren’t but there’s no sense in dragging it out. She also gets messed with by Maizy so I can’t even get upset at her for going off the rails later on. The whole dancing scene was a rough look for Buck.

Generally speaking I’d say it’s okay to dance with anyone, however since it was obvious that the neighbor was trying to seduce him, Buck had to get out of there. There aren’t any good excuses for staying there and allowing her to play these games with him. Ideally things will go well for him and Chanice now but I don’t think the film really needed this plot. I felt like it was only there to give Maizy some ammo for her singular win. Otherwise she really would not have had anything on Buck.

Overall, Uncle Buck is a pretty good film. The first area where it succeeds is in being funny. That’s a super important factor for this kind of film and so it really needed to succeed there. Outside of that the pacing is good and Buck works well as the main character. Maizy’s just annoying enough where she almost starts to drag this down with her scenes but fortunately, they aren’t quite long enough to sabotage it. If you like comedy films that aren’t afraid to get rather crazy then I would recommend this film. By the end of the film you’ll see how Buck was a better parent than the actual couple who ran off.

Overall 7/10

Will Penny Review

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It’s time for a wild west film and you know how those can always be very hit or miss. Unfortunately this is one of the misses. It doesn’t really hit on any of the strong notes that you need to reach to surpass the genre. The characters tend to make some bad decisions and while it’s hard to play a perfect round back in the wild west where there was no law and order, it did feel like some of these issues were very avoidable.

The movie starts by introducing us to Will who is a classic work hand. He goes from job to job and is good at what he does but there is a lot of competition and not a lot of jobs left. He had a chance to go on a trip with the crew but selflessly gives up his spot to another guy who wanted to visit his father. Will travels with Blue and Dutchy and they end up in a firefight with another group over an animal. Will’s team shoots down one of the attackers but the rest swear revenge. On Will’s side, one of his teammates is injured so he looks for help. In the meantime he also gets a job to protect a part of someone’s large territory but now a lady named Catherine and her son Horace are living there. Will feels bad about throwing them out but eventually the guy who owns this property is going to find out and then things will go very badly. How can Will get out of this situation.

First off, I have to say that Catherine doesn’t play this situation very smart at all. She is exceptionally lucky that Will is such a nice guy because many others would have just shot her on sight at minimum. The penalty for letting a stranger live on these premises could easily be death and people aren’t generally going to take that chance. Will even tries to give her a few days to leave but Catherine is insistent on not going anywhere. It just seems like a terrible strategy to go with when you’re not a fighter and there is no man on the premises.

Catherine’s first instinct is even to say that she’s all alone. Why would you give out that kind of information? Her son Horace means well too but he’s just a young kid and is not going to be doing much here. Catherine was ultimately ditched by her tour guide and her husband seems to have no intention of returning so just surviving will be difficult. It’s the wild west so even going into town isn’t a great option but you feel like she needs to do something and get away from the area. Taking your chances in town may be for the best.

Meanwhile Will does his best with looking after her but he is breaking all of the rules of a job that he just got. His sympathy may be a little too high here. It was also annoying to see him getting jumped so quickly. When you’re outnumbered, you need to fire as soon as possible. He gets a few of the villains at gunpoint but then hesitates and gets knocked out. There is no room for compassion here. It may be a hard thing to hear but, in a life or death situation it is you against the other guy. Whoever hesitates is absolutely not going to survive.

Will’s character is portrayed to be a really nice one throughout but this is the double edged blade of it. As for the romance in the film, he knows that Catherine is a married woman from the start so he is very wary about getting involved. That’s the right attitude. Her husband may not appear to be a good guy but until that is officially dissolved then there is nothing you can do. He can be a good friend to her but if she is trying to start a romance then he has to get out of there. Nothing good comes from living next to temptation.

It takes him a long while to get his mind wrapped around that but ultimately, he does and that helps the ending even if it’s portrayed in more of a somber way. Nobody here really gets a super happy ending because they’re all going to be struggling a lot. At least they are alive though which could have easily gone the other way. The film feels like two different movies though when it’s about Will and Catherine vs when he’s hanging out with his friends.

Blue and Dutchy are gone for so long that you almost forget they are in this film until they show up in the climax. It was good to see them, but man did they take their time. There was certainly no sense of urgency among them that’s for sure. They did come in clutch though because Will was not going to be able to fight off everyone in the climax otherwise. His new coworkers showed up after everything was all settled. I thought the film was about to give us one more fight but they were reasonable.

I suppose part of why the film fails here is because of how troubled the romance is. A lot of time is spent on Will and Catherine getting closer but you really can’t root for this at all because of her married status. For a while there you assume that maybe she was lying since she didn’t trust him. Would have been a smart deception to be honest but that’s not how it played out. So the scenes aren’t as charming as they would have been otherwise.

Then the villains tend to be annoying and get a whole lot of screentime. Naturally they want to marry Catherine as well, just without any say in the matter. They intend to work Will as a slave for a while before they eventually murder him and there’s not much he can do about it while at gunpoint. At least that’s how it played out but after a point I think you do just need to lunge for the gun. If you die then you die, but often times you’re going to be waiting for an opening that never arrives. You just have to hope that the sudden movement is enough to catch them off balance.

It’s also a western so the animals aren’t fully safe either. Nothing too explicit in this film to be sure but just a background element that’s never all that great. The first animal that died is even a part of the plot with how the first fight started. This is a very grounded western film. The kind that may be true to life but doesn’t translate into great television. Give me a more inspiring Western anyway. At best this one just serves as another reminder of why you would not have wanted to live in this era.

Overall, Will Penny is the kind of title that will end up being very memorable. The name itself is certainly unique and definitely works well. The film though, it’s your average western at best and I would actually say it’s below most of them. There isn’t a lot of ongoing action in the film. It goes for more of an emotional focus instead, except it does so with a poor situation. There aren’t many reasons to watch this one and it’s a bit grim for my liking. I’d say to skip it and roll the dice on a different western title.

Overall 3/10

The Beast With A Million Eyes Review

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The poster for this film is such clickbait that you almost have to double check if you’re looking at the right one. It is so different from anything within the actual movie. Unfortunately this creature feature is really lacking in screentime for the main villain and the main cast is definitely on the weaker side. There aren’t a whole lot of silver linings to this film and so it loses to the average title in its genre.

The film introduces us to Allan, his wife Carol, and their daughter Sandra. They live out in the middle of nowhere and Carol resents the whole thing. She spends most of her time yelling at Allan and Sandra as she has not been able to adjust to this lifestyle at all. They also have a neighbor who lives on the premises but it unable to talk and always seems a bit off. Allan insists that he is harmless but the guy spends his time looking at inappropriate magazines and secretly watching Allan’s daughter. Maybe he should think twice about this guy? For some reason, the animals in the area are starting to go crazy now too so that is another thing to keep an eye on.

Before we even touch the monster stuff, the main cast just isn’t all that good. First up we have Allan who is far too dismissive about the neighbor. We learn a twist about this near the end of the film which at least adds a little more of an excuse. It’s still not a great one though. Lets face it, this does not in any way make the neighbor safe. In fact, the twist about why he can’t talk just gives even more reason to why he might be unstable. While the family was toxic, Allan should have definitely told the others the whole story.

Then Carol is unlikable from the start. None of her complaints seem all that justified or deserved. We are starting this film in the middle of their lifestyle so perhaps some context would change this but as of now, it’s just a bad look for her. Her treating the daughter poorly is also terrible because she has nothing to do with this. So Carol comes off as a total bully here and the film doesn’t have enough time to really redeem her character.

I have the fewest issues with Sandra here. She’s really just trying to do her best and have a normal life out here. She could easily be complaining about how boring everything is since there is nothing to do but she takes the higher road. Sandra may not stand out as some kind of amazing character but at least she was avoiding making any big mistakes. She also gets far more of a role than her boyfriend who could be written out of the film and almost nothing would change.

As for the neighbor, well I feel bad for him with the injury but he’s definitely not remotely likable. He would definitely need to fix up his room and to stop being so obsessed with women to really have a chance here. Perhaps his injury is what started this in which case that just gets even more tragic but we simply don’t know. It’s all a mystery at this point.

Okay so what about the monster? Well, it’s not your average 11 foot creature trying to crush everyone. This being is a high intellect alien who can body swap. He gets a big speech near the end about his power and how the humans can’t stop him. Allan responds with his own speech about love and kindness. It’s definitely a bizarre climax. I’m not entirely opposed to ending things with a war but the creature probably gets less than a minute of actual screentime. It just doesn’t result in a particularly satisfying climax.

The creature is able to emit energy waves that cause animals to become violent. This results in the main character’s dog turning evil as well as a cow and a lot of birds. There is a bit of a body count here as a farmer friend dies but for the most part this is very isolated. It works against the film as well because I’m not here to see a bunch of animals dying. The birds are used as suicide bombers against a car and the dog unfortunately ends up getting axed. The film was never going to survive this kind of a plot.

Additionally, the alien just doesn’t seem to have a great plan here. Causing chaos with the animals may work as a distraction but he tried with too many small ones which allowed the main characters to form a plan and make a counter attack. Really the alien shouldn’t have lost so easily and perhaps should have hidden his hand better if he could be defeated so easily once the animals weren’t a problem. His powers aren’t the strongest either as he can only control humans when they are alone and not when they are in a group.

Apparently his weakness is the power of love which is not a great weakness for a villain. It means he will always be on the back foot here. So the film definitely has a ton of clickbait all the way through. If not for the poster, then maybe I could just call the monster as a plot twist which would excuse the lack of runtime but I can’t really do that here. The film is too much of a slowburn for such a short length and the characters are just not good enough to hold their own. Honestly the more I think about it, the more I realize that the film was completely outclassed from start to finish.

Overall, This is not a creature feature I would recommend. It barely even deserves to be called a creature feature. I know that the alien is the one orchestrating all of the events so sure it technically counts but in the most unsatisfying way possible. I would say to check out just about any other creature film instead and you’ll be getting more bang for your buck. Probably more of an action packed climax too.

Overall 3/10

Much Ado about Nothing Review

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I’ve often considered Shakespeare to be the most overrated writer of all time and I’m afraid that this film did not change my mind on that. The writing style just doesn’t really work as the old time English get tiring rather quickly. All the witty banter is a little too forced with none of the conversations actually sounding natural. The movie can make for some ironic amusement but that’s about all that you’re getting out of this adventure which quickly overstays its welcome.

The film starts with Pedro, Benedick, Claudio, and John riding into a small town. They have arrived after glorious conquest and look forward to being treated like royalty. After all….that is precisely what they are. Claudio falls for a girl named Hero and they quickly get ready to be married. Benedick is mad about this because he thought that Claudio would be an eternal bachelor like himself. So the guys get together to set up Benedick with Beatrice who always mocks him. The two of them have been verbally sparring for a long while but perhaps this can turn into romance. What they don’t realize is that John aims to end these romances. He wants to cause a lot of chaos and is ruthless in his approach. Will he be able to so easily tear these alliances apart?

Of course the whole film’s premise is based on the fact that he can which shows just how weak these romances are. Lets start with Claudio and Hero here. Basically John shows “Hero” cheating on Claudio with someone else. Unfortunately Claudio could not tell that this wasn’t the real Hero. I think that’s pretty rough in itself since you should clearly know what your girlfriend looks like. If it was so dark that you could not see clearly at all, then you either rush to the door and ask for Hero or ask her the next day. Being completely tricked is certainly the worst out of all the options here.

Claudio naturally throws a big fuss about it but what’s worse is that he doesn’t give Hero a chance to talk at all. He just storms away and destroys her reputation which seemingly causes her to die. Then as an apology he prepares to marry a relative of hers. That’s already a rebound but it’s also a terrible apology in general. There was no saving Claudio at this point and honestly the whole thing isn’t a great look for Hero either. At that point if this is how Claudio is going to act, she should have just moved on. Not just giving up or being passive and seeing how the situation was going.

Beatrice had more of a real reaction as she wanted to murder Claudio and convinced Benedick to do it on her behalf. I appreciate that from a family standpoint but of course on a romance one it did end up hurting the ship. It showed after all that she was only with Benedick by this point so that she could manipulate him and the love itself felt very weak at best. I much preferred when they were just bantering with each other. To so easily be manipulated into liking each other by the supporting cast makes them all look like deeply unserious characters. It’s as if they were so pleased at the other being secretly in love that they were willing to overlook everything else.

John gets more credit here because as a villain he was actually fairly effective. It didn’t take long for him to infiltrate the ranks and really split everyone up. Ultimately once the heroes turned on him the guy didn’t put up much of a fight but he still kept them all on the back foot. Pedro was a decent commander but also someone who was easily fooled and got very emotional. In general I guess you could say all of the characters were driven too strongly by their emotions.

Like I mentioned before, the way they all talk gets old really quickly too. I get how it feels really dramatic and all but the old English takes forever to get through. You’re basically begging the characters to get to the point of their speech instead of taking forever. You also have the subplot with the guards who have no idea what is going on and their scenes really tend to drag. It goes from potentially being funny to you just rolling your eyes by the end because you know that it’s just not going to end.

The film could have really done well to be about 30 minutes shorter but that still wouldn’t have saved it. The movie doesn’t help itself with a super rough opening either as all the women in the village get ready to meet the men and look desperate in the moment. The fanservice was bad enough but do they really have to go so all out for these guys? Desperation is not really going to be a super attractive trait here and it’s another one of those old time dynamics that just doesn’t work. If you’re desperate for any guy to pick you, then there’s nothing really romantic about that. By the end of the film you are supposed to feel happy for the two couples and yet you can’t help but feel like they won’t really have a happy ever after.

Overall, This film absolutely needed some big time action. It needed the characters to get some real fight scenes and for the individual characters to also not be so weak. You’ll see various characters pinned to the wall and threatened while they can barely react in retaliation. None of them really have a whole lot of honor left by the end as they get thrown into every conflict. They also aren’t interesting enough to hold their own stories. I dare say this kind of film would only work as a parody because it feels like one for a while until you realize just how seriously the characters are taking themselves. A romance film without any understanding of what a true romance is will always be doomed to fail.

Overall 3/10

Moonraker Review

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Moonraker continues the James Bond marathon as we actually get some sci-fi elements this time around. Personally I would say it does continue with the classic Bond vibe despite this. To me this is a very familiar kind of adventure so you shouldn’t worry about the space stuff feeling a bit off. The climax is certainly explosive to be sure but it’s not even one of the longer Bond climaxes.

The film starts with Moonraker, a space station being taken by a mysterious foe and so James Bond is called in. James Bond is known as 007, the top British secret service operative in the entire world. He also has a license to kill as needed. Surely Bond should be the man for the job, but it turns out that M16 isn’t the only agency interested in what’s going on in space. The CIA send in an agent named Holly and this provides Bond with someone that he can finally show off for. Bond is usually one step behind the villains and get clowned on consistently, but tends to fare better with other agents. Can he keep his mind on the task at hand or will his endless weakness for women be his demise?

Bond is one of those guys that you don’t really want in your corner. Yes, I recognize that he ultimately gets the job done but it certainly tends to be at a high price. A lot of bodies will roll by the time he stops the villain here and that is true in this case as well. You can’t always blame him for every event but it would be easier to sympathize with Bond if he wasn’t constantly distracted. The “romance” with Holly definitely won’t be impressing you as each one is just manipulating the other. There isn’t really any passion or development here.

It did lead to the best scene in the film though where Bond walks through her room and calmly disables every trap possible. It was one of the only scenes in a minute where Bond actually looked like the top ranked professional that he is supposed to be. That was absolutely impressive. I just wish we could see more of that Bond. In terms of fighting ability, Bond is pretty good without the film portraying him as invincible or anything like that. For example he is usually not going to defeat someone like Jaws and has to just try and get out of the area.

On one hand that is a good look for Jaws but not so much for Bond. Surely his mastery of the martial arts and other deadly forms of combat should be enough to make up for a strength difference right? This may just be an issue with the films not being more modern but Bond always seems to fight like a normal guy. He is always willing to step into the fight though so I’ll give him that and he does have a lot of confidence. You can always count on him to deliver with a strong one liner as needed.

I don’t like the guy but at least he has the charisma to hold a film. Meanwhile the heroine Holly is more proactive than some of the others. She may fall to Bond’s charms like the rest but at least she can fight. It would be smarter for her to carry a gun so that she can properly defend herself but at least she has a knife. I always like when they add in a second agency to these films so having her be from the CIA was a good move. Bond got to have a little backup in that way.

It was also nice to see Jaws return as the big villain here. He is definitely a true threat with how powerful he is. I do think his character switch at the end was pushing things though. I would have liked to have kept him as fully evil, just unwilling to listen to Drax out of self survival. That would have made more sense and unfortunately I wouldn’t have added his new girlfriend either since that whole plotline was too rushed. It just didn’t really make a lot of sense and someone like Jaws isn’t going to change so drastically in such a short amount of time.

Drax is more of a forgettable main villain. He’s definitely not very smart though with how easily he allows Bond to draw a rift between him an Jaws. You’d think that Drax would have been able to see through the bait but I guess he’s just not socially aware of what’s going on. Other villains wouldn’t have gone down so easily. Drax isn’t a fighter at any rate so he won’t end up being all that memorable anyway.

The action and special effects are good as always. The Star Wars type energy climax may come out of nowhere but it does look good so I can say that in favor of the film. The soundtrack isn’t particularly noteworthy but as always I do like the classic Bond theme. No matter how many times it plays or gets remixed, I’ll always find it to be pretty impressive. If the film could just stay away from all the fanservice and rushes romances then this could actually be a good series. Unfortunately as it stands, the Bond films tend to all get absolutely crushed when you’re watching them.

The film also gets some props for being long but never feeling all too drawn out. The action is consistent and the different set pieces are all unique so it’s not like the film starts blending into itself either. The pacing is good and the writing is nice. I always like when Bond bumps into another M16 base and all of the big shots happen to be there. In a way it feels like magic with how quickly they set everything up but I’ll chalk it up to their intelligence gathering truly being first rate.

Overall, Moonraker is one of those films that I wouldn’t recommend but it’s not as if it is significantly worse than the average Bond film. On the contrary it holds up to the others just fine and the space climax really isn’t bad. It’s just a shame that this is known as the outer space Bond film and yet they don’t actually leave Earth for a good chunk of the runtime. If the film really wanted to be bold, it should have made the majority of it take place out there.

Overall 4/10