Parents generally have a lot of criteria when it comes to their kids’ marriage and want to make sure that no mistakes are happening. This is part of why there used to be arranged marriages in a ton of places so the parents could select the right person themselves. Fortunately a good deal of the world doesn’t do that anymore but it doesn’t mean that the silent judging doesn’t continue. This is a solid film involving such tensions.

The movie starts off with Joanna and her boyfriend John getting ready to meet her parents. John is a distinguished doctor with dozens of accolades so you may think this will be easy but there’s one thing that the parents are about to be shocked by. He’s black! While a mixed race couple is not such a startling thing now (To most people at least) it was definitely much bigger back then. Joanna and John want her parents’ blessings tonight too because then they’re going out of there and will be married in short order. It’s all so sudden and her parents aren’t really sure how to react.

Part of the fun in watching the film nowadays is how the racial thing isn’t a big deal…but every other bombshell is. This relationship has so many red flags that if it were made nowadays I would think that’s the gag. Like the main characters are worried about the skin while the parents are worried about everything else. Seriously this thing sounds crazy so I’m going to go over all of them. You ready for this? For starters there is a 14 year age gap. He’s 37 and she’s 23. You guys already know my 10 year rule. 10 years is the maximum age gap where I think things can be okay and after that you’re in troubling territory.

Naturally we all know some age gap romances that worked out well but I would argue the odds of succeeding still plummet. It’s just a really big difference in experience so you’d imagine even hobbies and such would be very different. Some may enjoy that as you get to learn more about the younger generation but it would still be worrisome. I think one of the main issues is you would worry that the girl doesn’t find the guy all that attractive and is in it for the money. Meanwhile the other side would worry that the guy only enjoys her because she is young and will move onto the next one once she is older.

Red flag #2, they have only known each other for 10 days. This is the wild one. So they’re going to be getting married in a week and have only known each other this long? Joanna says they fell in love at first sight and people already know that phrase is a red flag. People don’t often think clearly when they first fall in love and it’s easy to get swept away in the moment. In general while I think dating should be at most for a year, at minimum it should be for 3-4 month. In 10 days you really don’t know anything about the other person. I would argue you know less than nothing because it can all be a mask.

Red flag #3, all this pressure on the parents to decide in a matter of hours. You know that the #1 trap they warn people for scammers is that they try to pressure you into something. The more someone tells you that something is urgent, the more you want to really think about this. Is it possible that you are missing something? I understand the circumstances but honestly it is more than a little unreasonable to expect them to be fine with this. Not the petty reasons that the film goes into but for legitimate ones like Joanna is not thinking straight.

Red flag #4, John has already been married and had a kid. They both died in a tragic accident. Okay so this is another big one, it has been some years since he saw them but he already had a family. By definition this makes the relationship a rebound and is it possible that he is rushing into this because he wants another family? It’s something to consider and it’s a lot of pressure on Joanna to live up to this.

Not all of these are red flags for everyone but they would be red flags for me. Generally I do agree with the sentiment that a relationship is between two people and even if nobody else approves then you go for it. It’s still important to find out why that’s the case though. For example, if your family and friends tell you they think this is a mistake and you trust them, it’s worth discussing. I thought Joanna was quite a bit rude at certain points with just how aggressive she was being. She could come off as immature at times here with how oblivious she was.

I appreciate how she would stick by her man though, I just didn’t always appreciate the way that she did it. Once you are serious about someone, then you do have to be there for their defense at all times. Not everyone will understand why you love that person. Maybe the parents might not think he’s handsome enough, or they will find faults in mannerisms or such. At the end of the day those are things you can’t care about. Once you are confident that you’ve got the right person then you just have to hang on as hard as you can.

Meanwhile for John I thought he was pretty solid here. He may not have been quite as committed as Joanna was and I think it was worth calling out at the end, but on the whole he did good. Naturally the guy wants to leave a good impression and he did so even while he was stressed out about everything. It was certainly a difficult situation and he navigated it well. The guy is certainly well accomplished and even if he had not been, his politeness and well manner of speaking showed him to be a good guy. As the parent that’s all you should really be focused about, how he acts. You will never get to truly know the person, that’s something where you just have to have faith in your kids.

Matt doesn’t look too good for a lot of the film though. Apparently he was really well know as a good social rights activist so it came off as hypocritical to a lot of the characters when he was against this. There’s no 2 ways about it, it was a really bad look for him. You always got to practice what you preach and it sounds like he was very positive in the papers about civil rights and other issues so for him to be so upset here is not cool. If the film focused on it really being about him being worried about what they would come across, then that would be one thing. I would want him to say he fully supports the marriage but is really concerned.

Have the focus be on that so maybe his concern starts getting John concerned and that’s where the problems arise. It would have been a much better look for the father. As it stands, he ultimately looks better by the very end but it is a super long road to get there. You sort of feel like that’s how it is for a lot of people where they say one thing while the issue doesn’t affect them and then they switch gears real quick.

Meanwhile Joanna’s mother Christina is also shocked at first but gets on board quickly enough. While she may have not reacted as positively as they hoped, it’s pretty clear that she just needed a little bit of time to get her feelings around the relationship. I thought they could have been more patient there and again it goes down to this short time table. I don’t see anything wrong with her temporarily not being able to yell out a congratulations or anything like that. Imagine your kids showing up one day with a fiancé and about to be married. Even if it’s a top tier prospect, you’d be wondering why your kid wouldn’t have mentioned this and that would raise a lot of alarm bells. Really a whole lot of the trouble here is because of Joanna. She really should have called and handled things better.

John’s parents show up later on in the film but I wish they could have appeared a bit earlier. By the time they appear, it feels like it is too late to really have them contribute much. They basically mirror Joanna’s parents exactly to the point where they don’t add as much to the film as you would have liked. They almost could have been cut out from the film and it wouldn’t have really changed anything. I was looking forward to the meet up but it’s more low key than you would expect.

The film isn’t super long so it doesn’t have time for some things like this. If it were longer then I think they would have had more to do. We still got a good amount of time to see Tillie being really upset and being mad at John the whole time though. This is something you do tend to see at times though, some people are completely opposed to any mixed race relationship and they tend to try and be the loudest in the room. It was a fun irony to see that the delivery boy and the younger maid were getting along just well though. Sort of like the kids (I guess you would say teens but slowly as I get older and older they’re all just kids to me) don’t really care about the drama. Considering that John and Joanna have only been together for 10 days though, I’m surprised he would tease her about the maid. I get that as a joke when two people are super comfortable with each other but ehhhhhhh that’s a little risky.

Well, it’s their relationship so I suppose I’ll leave that to them. The writing was pretty good here. Even as some of the characters could be annoying with how they handled things, it was mainly realistic. It’s definitely an interesting film and gives you a lot to think about. Eventually the parents have to be ready to give the kids away and often times there can be some issues with that. So it’s good to at least consider the possibility ahead of time.

Overall, I enjoyed the movie. This is one that could have actually used a bit more runtime but ultimately still tackles the main points. It doesn’t really have any weaknesses and stays fairly light hearted. It’s dealing with a lot of serious themes and there is drama but the film doesn’t go out of its way to make anything too dreary. It focuses on the awkwardness of everything a whole lot more which is a good approach. After all, it’s awkward for all parties involved for any first meeting, then amplify that by 10 with all of the shock going around. As long as that sounds interesting to you, you’ll definitely enjoy this movie.

Overall 7/10