I Married a Witch Review

With a title like this you can expect some fun and shenanigans. It’s a reasonable comedic romance film but at the same time it also could have been better in some respects. At the end of the day part of the fun in marrying a witch is having fun with the magic and trying to lead a normal life at the same time but the film doesn’t get to go into that much because it’s pursuing a different angle.

So the movie starts off with a rather serious scene as Jennifer and Daniel are taken down for the count for being witches. They get sealed in a tree for countless years but also curse the Wallace family so always marry someone that won’t be very nice. As the years go by this spell is still intact and then one day a bolt of lightning destroys the tree. Jennifer and Daniel are free to do whatever they want. Jennifer decides that she wants to ruin Wallace’s life herself by getting him to cheat on his fiancé with her. I’m not totally sure what the end goal here is after the humiliation period is over but maybe that’s enough. She is immortal right now so she could keep on messing with all of his descendants for the rest of time.

The main guy here is a man named Wallace and his life was pretty much figured out. He would marry his fiancé Estelle and live happily ever after. It’s hard to know what he really sees in her since she is portrayed as being rather mean and standoffish from the start. Perhaps there was just nobody else and he didn’t want to stay single forever? If so that’s definitely a shame because settling will often times be worse than going the journey alone. Settling is just the worst possible path there and leaves you in a very unsatisfying place in life. Still, that’s when there is a big fire and he “saves” Jennifer.

Jennifer isn’t used to having a human body after being away for so long and also seems to have lost some common sense initially as she barely even notices the flames and acts like it’s normal to be in a burning building. Still, now is the time to try and ensnare Daniel. To Daniel’s slight credit he resists a bit but I don’t give him a whole lot beyond that. He really should have just told Estelle the score from the start and gone from there. The more distance he puts between himself and Jennifer the safer he is. You can’t worry about rumors as long as you’re doing the right thing and if Estelle is soon to be his wife then she should be able to believe him when he says that Jennifer is following him around.

Where Wallace falters here is when Jennifer talks to him at night and he stays up just talking about life. Keep in mind that she is never able to give him the love formula so he is just falling for her here while he is still engaged. It’s not a good look for the guy at all so even though her feelings were genuine by the end, you can’t root for them to be together. This was all way too fast and feels like a huge rebound. You also have to account for how desperate she was to get him the whole time. He just looks really flaky because of this. The guy is trying to run for governor, he doesn’t have time for any of this.

Meanwhile Jennifer isn’t the best character here as her goal to start with was really petty. Is she really going to spend all of eternity going after the same family? You also have to consider the fact that the descendants have nothing to do with the original crime so it’s not good to punish innocents like that. She’s a full villain from the start even if she isn’t quite as strict as her father. She doesn’t really have a full redemption arc in the sense that I don’t know if she really learned that what she did was wrong. She just likes Wallace now so she won’t be messing with him anymore and is trying for him for real. The crazy thing is from his point of view he can’t see any difference, she is trying for him in the same ways all film, it’s just that in the first half it was to sabotage him while in the second she likes him. Not that it matter much to him though.

Her magic is also pretty good like with the mass hypnosis she has. Then Daniel is able to burn any building to the ground in an instant. Not too shabby, with abilities like that it’s hard to see the witches being stopped by the humans anytime soon. If anything I’m surprised that they were stopped the first time too. You’d think that they could easily dodge any kind of trap and counter right away. For now I’ll say that they just lowered their guard at the wrong time similar to how Daniel was taken down because of that. When you have great powers then you really have to be careful.

Estelle isn’t likable from the start. You still feel bad that Wallace would jump away so quickly when they were just about to get married though. You assume that he already knew about those qualities of her and still wanted to marry her after all. He just ended up going to the rebound and that’s all there was to it. The romance is just not good as a result but the film holds its own thanks to the fun humor here. It is a movie that goes by very quickly and in a way it is nice to see Wallace talking tough at first even though you know that he’s doomed. Initially he thought she was sent by the political rival which actually tracks but of course he ended up being wrong on that one.

Overall, I Married a Witch is the kind of retro, charming film you would expect it to be. The characters aren’t the most likable but they do have good banter the whole time. You may not appreciate the romance but at least the tough talk and posturing before that is good as Wallace is determined not to fall into this. You may know that he will inevitably fail but the journey is still a fun one. I would say a longer period of time of Jennifer trying to convince Wallace that she is a witch would have been fun though. There is so much you can do with those abilities!

Overall 7/10


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