I’ve always been a massive Godzilla fan ready to see who he will vanquish next. I tend to really prefer the stories of him defeating other Kaiju but the stories involving the government can work well enough. Unfortunately this one goes all in on him just stomping around and not doing much of anything since the story is a story within a story. For the first time I would say that this is a Godzilla comic that I …didn’t like.

The story starts off with a pirate about to be executed. He knows that he has to do something quickly and so he informs the guards that he knows of a conspiracy that even involves the queen of England. This is considered blasphemy because he is in England so they get ready to take him down but then a high ranking government agent shows up. He explains that they have to listen to this and the prisoner will regret it if the story is fake. So the pirate begins his yarn about a giant Kaiju known as Godzilla and other monsters that walk the lands. He has actually gotten to see them and lived to tell the tale. Pretty spooky eh?

Lots of problems here right off the bat of course. For starters, the entire comic follows this story format. It’s not even in the style of a true flashback where I can just forget about the current plot and enjoy the story. No, it’s constantly told through through narration so it’s never actually happening live. This is a framing device that I really don’t like. It means there really isn’t a story. The comic is about someone talking about stuff to a few people and that’s it. So nothing happens live, the fights aren’t fully there and it just ends up being rather boring.

At least whenever Godzilla is on screen I enjoyed seeing him roar and stuff but I really could not care less about the pirates stuff. There’s some in fights with different gangs and everything….but is that the best that they can do? It’s just so very dull and since you figure the pirate is an unreliable narrator at best, you don’t know how much you can even try to get engaged with all of this. I want to say I can see where the author was going with this but it was definitely not the right direction and ended up backfiring big time.

There is only one interesting part of this comic and it’s the very last page. It works pretty well as a twist and cliffhanger. This is a plot thread that I would actually like to dive into because there is a lot of potential here. It means no more flashbacks though. I want to see what is happening in real time like a classic comic. If that can be pulled off then we can work in a lot of espionage and political drama in a sequel. Seriously I don’t think that would be hard and the sky’s really the limit from there. That would be so incredibly hype! But of course lets not get our hopes up for now. Rather than banking on the sequel to be good after this, I would rather place my hopes in a brand new Godzilla comic with a new setting and everything.

In general pirates don’t add much to the Godzilla lore. In fact, I don’t see them as a selling point at all. It’s not like they can hope to fight the King of the Monsters, instead they would just get absolutely crushed. It’s not going to be all that entertaining to just see Godzilla step on them over and over and over again. That’s not a true cinematic experience. Instead what we need is to see Godzilla absolutely devastate every opponent in his path. That would be something to write home about without a doubt.

But yeah there’s not much more to say here. At the end of the day the story is just really boring and that’s the biggest taboo you can have for a comic. Even seeing the cameos from the other Kaiju couldn’t really save it. This barely feels like a Godzilla comic so much as it’s a pirate story that happens to feature him. I was definitely disappointed here and the artwork isn’t anything to write home about either. The art is okay so I’m not going to say that it’s awful or anything but it doesn’t touch a lot of the other stories. What I can say is that the comic ends very quickly at least even with all of the dialogue.

Overall, Godzilla: Here There Be Dragons really made history because it’s the first time that I’m giving a downright negative score to the Kaiju. In general I haven’t given many comics a negative score either so it’s super rare. This one just made every kind of mistake possible. Seriously it’s just not fun and that’s a massive L to take at any point here. I want to have a good time and for that I need a story and some fights. It has to actually be happening though and not someone telling me how hype the whole thing was. So yeah…..this was not the way to go.

Overall 4/10