3 Star Movies, Live Action Movie Reviews, Live Action Movies, Reviews

Colombiana Review

MrsMiracle_DVD_Sleeve

Colombiana is one of those films where the protagonist has a gun and you just know that someone’s going to take his last walk. The poster gives you a Salt/Tomb Raider feel so this could be good news if you enjoyed those films. One thing that didn’t help was the trailer, which I found to be pretty awful personally. The actual movie is better than the trailer, but was it good enough to be considered a good movie?

Cataleya is the main character of the film and some may consider her a Hero. If you consider Light Yagami, The Punisher, or the Superior Spiderman as heroes, then by all means! She would definitely be heroic, but I don’t really consider those guys to be heroes. Goku, Superman……Bionic Bunny! Those guys did their duty and stayed with their morals. Cataleya’s big mission is to avenge her parents and destroy anyone who gets in her way! It will take some time to climb up the mafia list, so she makes a name for herself as she bumps more and more people off.

The plot is pretty basic which is (Almost) always a good thing. This means that the film can spend less time on the plot and more time on the action. There is also a character by the name of Danny. (Hardcore name, but awful character) Saying that he was an awful character is a bit strong, but I definitely did not like him. I don’t know…I just felt that he was a disgrace to such a cool name. Ignoring that guy, there weren’t many subplots in the film. We had the cliched FBI vs CIA fight, (Which never gets old! Honestly, it’s always the best part of the films) I wasn’t really sure who to root for. I guess I would go with the FBI, but they’re always so much weaker for some reason. I wish that this plot would have gotten more screen time, since it was pretty intense.

This film does have a lot of romance which can definitely bring down the movie for you. Cataleya and Danny are already not good characters, so this helps them to be that much worse. Danny tries to be a “tough guy” and even gets some “hardcore” lines. Unfortunately, they don’t make him a more endearing character. Cataleya’s uncle is supposed to be someone that we can possibly root for, but the opening scene already shows that he’s a complete villain. Why root for him? Of course, Cataleya also becomes a villain so I guess everyone’s evil this time. I bet even Danny had a secret agenda.

So, would I recommend this film? Well, the film has some action scenes and one hand to hand fight, but there are also some things that hamper it down. The romance is a bigger subplot than usual and the character cast is astonishingly unlikable. Cataleya’s scene where she spits out the disk is pretty gross and can also be a quick turn off. There’s the usual summer blockbuster violence, but I can’t remember anything that was unthinkably violent or wince worthy. If you’ve seen Jaws or Terminator, then you’ll be okay……if you want a real movie where the main character uses a gun…I don’t know what to tell you. (Maybe when this film gets a sequel, we’ll have something) If you want to watch a show where the main character has a gun, check out Black Cat!

Overall 3/10

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