This review is of the edited TV-14 version. The film couldn’t get much lower than a 0 anyway, but keep in mind that this review and all thoughts within it pertain to this specific version.
I think Stephen A. Smith put it best in one of his videos while talking about Tim Tebow. I disagreed with him there, but the words fit this movie perfectly. Paraphrasing a little here. “Let’s just be straight about this. It was abysmal, It was embarrassing, It was pathetic in every sense of the word”….etc. I think that sets the tone for this review quite well. There are few films that I’ve seen which are as bad as the Shining and hopefully that list will stay small as this film was just completely terrible. On my reviews even when I can’t stand something I typically keep it mild. The quote was a loophole as I don’t use the words pathetic, trash, or other strong adjectives to keep my reviews more mild…but think of a word and it would fit in here. Still, I’ll try to attack it in a mild way while reminding you why this is a film to stay away from….come at me!
The film starts out with a psychotic mad man being accepted for the job of staying in the school throughout the winter to make sure that everything is working perfectly. The writers forgot about the concept of spoilers so the principal decides to layout exactly what is going to happen for the rest of the film within the first 3 minutes. The last people who took the job where a family just like the main one and the father went crazy and destroyed everyone. He lets the new guy know so that fate can repeat itself. Then he dashes off after the group tour and Jack decides to follow this example and tries to destroy everyone. He wanders off into a forest and we remember why nobody goes into mazes without an escape route anymore.
With the whole film spoiled in the opening minutes, that’s the cue for the audience to start looking at the clock to wonder when this will all be over. The film is very pretentious in the sense that it is constantly trying to be scary and fails miserably at every turn. At least Five Nights at Freddy’s is almost a parody with its constant jump scares so you can admire the effort. This film will have Jack stare at the screen menacingly for minutes at a time and call it a day. Remember the old saying, even the best of scenes can be watered down if you stretch it out long enough. This film reuses the same tired gimmicks over and over again.
Keep in mind, since I thought this film was terrible, everything will seem even worse than usual. The instant you know that you dislike the film that you are seeing and you watch it make error after error, you become disconnected from it and then everything is even more fake. The characters are all really unlikable and the big scene where Jack tries to break through the door is one that we’ve all seen dozens of times before during the famous console wars of PS4 vs Xbox One. The sony fans used is constantly to show why their side was superior and the famous picture is almost a parody at this point as well.
The film tries to hint that there are ghosts involved, but I don’t buy this for a nanosecond. See, Jack is simply delusional and he wants to believe that there are ghosts. He just busted through the door on his own after imagining the lock picking sounds. The painting at the end? Another delusion of grandeur and just the film taking another shot at some sequel bait, but not realizing that the bait has to actually be edible for the fish to bite. Since the film is one big negative…let’s take a look at exactly why it blew up.
Animal violence…nooooooooooo. Well, actually, there isn’t any real animal violence to speak of. That just speaks to how bad the rest of the film was. First off, the film actually engages in the fanservice trap to the fullest extent as actual nudity is present in the original version, but luckily censored in the edited one. It’s still a very drawn out scene that adds nothing to the plot and it just abysmal so you’ll want to take the time to quickly watch something on Youtube or go grab some dinner. That’s strike 20 by that point, but let’s keep going.
Again, the characters are all unlikable. There’s no sympathy here. The wife should have left a long time ago after we find out Jack’s past and Jack was always a villain so nobody should even pretend that he is a good guy. The plot is already hard to watch because none of the characters are making the right moves. There’s even a Chef who is supposed to be likable, but loses any chance at being a good character once we see the sketchy paintings he has in his room. Then he also proved to be a very unintelligent character as he walks up…slowly? to the big mansion without a plan. Yes, that sentence isn’t grammatically correct, but it’s a meme to bear with me here.
There aren’t really any other characters as the cast is painfully small and doesn’t do the film any favors. Conveniently, the cops are too far away to come and help even though they should have suspected something when there was no response on the intercom. Maybe they should go up and investigate? Nah…it’s just the snow. Everyone contributes to the film’s issues and a problem is that Jack gets way too much screentime even after we know that he’s crazy. It just doesn’t make any sense if you ask me. Why do we need to watch his long delusional dreams about being in a bar and showing us what a terrible person he is? The film has way too much padding and it hurts the movie although it wasn’t going to be much good anyway.
The atmosphere for the film also makes it a drag as well. Instead of being scary, the film ends up being dull and a waste of time. It has tense music for just about every scene to the point where it’s like having a ton of consecutive jump scenes over and over again. The film is really trying to scare you in every single scene and that’s why it ends up failing. You simply can’t try to overdo a gimmick like that and hope for it to actually work. It’s the classic rule that all “horror” films must follow.
Overall, The Shining is a truly terrible film and it just goes to show that some legendary movies really haven’t aged well and probably couldn’t start well. The Shining is touted as a great horror film and one of the scarier ones, but it lacks any edge and the drawn out scenes are more liable to make you sleepy and hungry as opposed to scared. It’s hard to even know where to begin on how to improve this film to be honest. Plots about the father being evil and abusive are always doomed to fail as the actual story is founded on a terrible premise. Kids can’t hold their own film and this film tried to pull that off a lot to no success. The mother is just too weak willed for the story and puts up with things when she should leave. The film’s problems are numerous and rather than trying to correct them, the Shining is a film that’s best left on the shelf collecting dust. I’d sooner rewatch the Conjuring film. Still, if you need to think up the ultimate punishment for an intense money match in Smash Bros, having someone watch this film and Sucker Punch back to back would probably be the ticket. If you want to see a horror film, I’d sooner check out the original live action Scooby Doo film!
Overall 0/10
DReager1.com 
You’re being completely unreasonable, and I’m surprised no one called you out on it yet. Today’s horror flicks are slimy attempts to make a quick buck. Their “use a low budget to rake in a lot of cash” mentality shows in just about every aspect of their design. The acting and the script are typically poor and the “scares” all sprout from cliche, unbelievable story lines, recycled material, and a plethora of jump scares. No, it isn’t fair to generalize all horror movies this way, but let’s throw out a few examples from this year alone.
1.) The Visit
2.) The Lazarus Effect
3.) Sinister 2
4.) Poltergeist
5.) The Gallows
6.) Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension
If your idea of a good horror movie is any of these, I’d argue your standards are exactly where their film makers want them to be — really low.. Just about anyone with a camera and a budget can throw together an uninspired, jump scare filled movie like the ones listed above.
I recognize that you didn’t explicitly say you’re a fan of any of these recent horror movies, but I think you missed the point entirely for The Shining. It’s not suppose evoke edge-of-your-seat terror. It’s the tone that matters. The delicately made tension that comes from awkward camera angles and the characters’ isolation. It’s a film that’s tone is suppose to make you feel uncomfortable. Stanley Kubrick went as far as to torment and pressure the main actress, Shelley Duvall, so she would act with real paranoia and fear. The scene where she’s crying as Jack is losing it – she’s actually crying. Kubrick made her do that take 127 times, causing her to have mental breakdown from just wanting it to be over.
I can’t say your opinion is wrong. I can again, however, say you’re being completely unreasonable. You tossed out a 0/10, suggesting the film is terrible beyond belief and most likely failed on all aspects of film making. Did you pay no attention to the special effects or shot composition? You said you didn’t like the characters, but are you going to deny that the acting is excellent?
You’re entitled to your own opinion, but I think it’s safe to assume you’re watching film on its surface level. The Shining has so much to offer, even in its story you claimed was poorly told. I hope you give it another chance sometime.
Just for the record…trust me when I say that I’ve been called out for my opinions many times before. I actually thought that Fantastic Four was all right and I consider Terminator 2 to be slightly overrated, which didn’t go over so well. (I still like the film though and consider it to be the best Terminator installment. As for the 5 films that you mentioned. I’ve seen 2 of them. I reviewed the Lazarus Effect and gave it a scathing review with a single star.
I also saw Poltergeist and thought that it was fairly decent, maybe…maybe even beating the original, but it’s very close. I’d probably give it something like a 4 and will officially be reviewing it in the near future. So don’t get the wrong idea, I don’t like modern horror films one bit. They have too many cheap scares and cases of animal violence for me to take them seriously. Jump scares don’t work when they’re overdone like that. I actually prefer the older horror films with the tension throughout the air like in Jaws or the Godzilla films. (The new one did a good job of emulating that) The thing is…I just don’t tend to like horror films. It’s like how I don’t tend to like rap songs. There have been good horror films in the past and I’ve seen some good rap songs too. It’s just that most of the time, I won’t enjoy these things.
Edit: You did say that you weren’t calling me a fan of the horror films, I kinda missed that.
As for the Shining, I know that the tone was supposed to be good, but I thought that it was horribly handled. There was nothing scary about seeing the main character walk around or verbally abuse his wife. It just made the guy seem like a bully and with the casting, we knew that he was evil from the start. Seeing people cry is certainly more uncomfortable than scary, but it’s still not something that’s going to effectively draw me into the film. It just makes me want to take my phone or watch out to see when the trainwreck is going to slide into the station. I rarely toss out 0 star films since it is a sign that the movie was terrible, but this one completely deserved it. Adding in the naked woman to make out with the delusional maniac was completely filler and just there to sell more tickets. The mother should have left way sooner and the bleeding girls on the ground were pointless as well. We don’t need to see all these things and the film makers were trying to stretch out the film as long as possible.
As for the technical aspects. The acting was excellent? No way! At the very least, the main actor was rubbish as far as I am concerned. He was supposed to not look evil and deluded at first, but he immediately came across that way. I can’t say that SHelley did anything for me either and kids can’t act so that left the cook who did a decent job, but not enough to save the rest of the cast. I honestly feel that special effects and shot composition are so basic a feature for a film that they don’t influence the film’s score in any way unless they are mind numbingly bad. (Cloverfield, The Room, etc) Cloverfield’s effects were good, just the shot composition was not.
There were no positives for me in this film and I regard it as one of the worst films of all time. That’s why it deserved a 1 for me. It didn’t even have animal violence, which would have made me try to give it a negative rating. I don’t think a rewatch would really save this kind of film unless I have a big personality shift during my later years in life, but I suppose that it’s possible. In closing, if the Shining is really that good, it should still be at least decent on the surface.
Here’s a good horror film that I saw recently.