This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative
It’s time for a fairly iconic horror film. I think it’s reasonable to say that just about everyone has at least heard of the Blob even if they haven’t seen the film yet. I saw the original version a while back and it definitely clobbers this remake. The remake just doesn’t manage to match it in any individual area. It is having a little too much fun with the gruesome visual effects instead of letting the threat of the Blob speak for itself.
The movie starts with a meteor striking the planet. An old man finds a slime within it and is quickly taken over. Paul and his girlfriend Meg find the old guy and take him to a hospital but it’s too late. The blob melts straight through him and rapidly begins to expand. Meg goes to the local delinquent Brian for help. Brian doesn’t want anything to do with this. All his life he has been an outcast in the system and strikes back at everyone. Perhaps now he can finally do something heroic with his life though. He thinks long and hard about this before deciding to help out, but what can he do?
What makes the Blob dangerous is how it seems to absorb whatever you throw at it. It just keeps on growing and can also make some really fast movements in an instant. One second you think that you are safe and the next you are trapped within the cocoon. The Blob relies purely on instinct so while it is not a strategic mastermind, it’s still difficult to escape it. It makes for a fun villain even if it won’t stand out as much as other horror characters.
Like I said at the start though, the film spends too much time showing the slow melting effects of everyone who gets in its way. I would have preferred a much more delicate touch there. Just being absorbed is already scary enough so you don’t need to see the skin melting off or anything like that. This film isn’t generally a super violent one but those blob scenes can really hit you hard.
The humans aren’t super likable here but I suppose they could be worse. Paul seemed like a nice guy and unfortunately he just didn’t know enough about the Blob to last longer. Likewise Meg is also doing her best to do the right thing and try to spread the word about the creature. Brian has a rough start but ultimately does his best to help the town when it counts. It’s a good message about how everyone will unite to fight a common threat. He certainly helps more than the rest of the town who are mainly panicking.
As soon as the threat was over then you had people quickly taking charge again and talking confidently when they had been hiding just a minute ago. Sounds about right if you ask me. The biggest threat here in some respects were the government agents who show up. They are really just here to consider how the Blob could be used as a weapon and in a way it’s almost funny how nonchalant they are about this. They are quick to betray their own and escalate the situation.
I always appreciate having a third faction so I was glad to have them here. Honestly it’s not like I was fully expecting them to be helping out or anything like that. They were shady from the start and the local cop gets some props for being quick on the uptake about fighting them.
In general the characters were all pretty proactive. The sheriff did his best to try and find out what was happening and Brian using the cannon against the agents was another good move. If I have any nitpicks here, it’s that the government was a little too unprepared against the Blob. I know that he’s an anomaly that is fairly unknown to everyone but maybe don’t stand super close to it? As a trained agent I’d expect each member to be keeping a safe distance at all times.
The film actually has a big of a cliffhanger ending which was nice to see. It may not be the most explosive one out there but I thought it was interesting. In theory it’s not too scary at this point since the characters know how to fight the Blob but there is still a lot of potential there. With the right mutation, the Blob could be really scary once more.
In a way I guess a weakness to the film would be that it focused a bit too much on Meg and Brian. I’d have liked to see a bit more of the town’s struggle against the Blob. Due to the way the story turned out there wouldn’t have been too many opportunities for this but even just a few would go a long way. In the sewers there just weren’t as many opportunities to present this as more of an invasion film.
Also the scenario was a bit too tough on Meg so some plot armor had to show up. At one point she jumps in the water to try and save the kid but it was too late so she has to just swim away. It doesn’t make sense that the Blob wouldn’t have absorbed her there. Before now he was shown to absorb people in an instant with tremendous speed but somehow lost sight of her in the water. In a thriller there will always be some scenes to nitpick but this was a fairly big one since it was a very plot important scene. They could have made the Blob weak to water or something but the film established the opposite.
Overall, This isn’t exactly a film that I would watch for a second time but it wasn’t as bad as you would expect a horror remake to be. It did succeed in being a fairly intense film and one that can really be called scary. I’d have liked them to have dialed back the gruesome visuals to an extent though. There are so many ways to have characters being absorbed without being very violent about it. The characters weren’t so bad outside of oneshot characters and the movie avoided landing in any of the really big traps. It beats the average horror film which is a small consolation prize at the very least. If they ever make another Blob film, I’d like them to focus more on the town’s response as opposed to just a few characters. Maybe even have it from the government’s point of view because the secret task force that showed up was really interesting. They could have used more screentime.
Overall 4/10
