Golf is one of those sports that I was never really into. Whether it’s watching the real thing on TV or playing a video game I could just never get into it. I don’t know there’s just something about the sport that’s a bit too slow paced for me. The best Golf video game I’ve ever played was the Mario Golf for Gamecube and even that one wasn’t great. It’s still better than this one though which tries reasonably hard but just doesn’t have much to it. After hitting the ball around a bit you are definitely ready to move onto something else.

There isn’t really any story in this one unfortunately. I liked that the GBA game had a full story but this is back to just trying out every stage and maybe winning a tournament here and there. I played on all of the locations and there is some variety but it’s not nearly as significant as you would expect. Not to bring the Gamecube game into this again but that one had deserts, ice worlds, bowser, etc. The stages all really popped out and I think that’s part of why I enjoyed the game more than usual. I remember pouring hours and hours into it trying to unlock the new worlds and each one was so difficult to unlock. Eventually when I finally got the worlds it would feel like such a massive accomplishment. Like I pulled off the impossible, you know?

Here all of the stages seem to already be unlocked so that reward is gone. Now granted, maybe that’s just the Switch Online setting everything up or there is a secret that I missed. Don’t take this as definitive, but it seemed like everything was there except for the characters which you could unlock individually. I appreciated that since unlocking characters is always fun. In a dream world every game would be like Super Smash Bros Ultimate where you had to unlock everyone one by one. The Challenger Approaching screen is one of my fondest memories…but lets get back on topic.

There’s just not a whole lot to do here beyond playing Golf. That probably sounds rather obvious but what it means is that if you don’t find the Golf gameplay exciting then there is really nothing left for you and that’s exactly what happened to me. There also aren’t some quality of life updates that the next games had like scoping out the whole field and having different arrows telling you the exact point on the meter you needed to aim for. I’m pretty good at timing if I do say so myself so that would have been reasonably easy but it just didn’t work out this time. So I was really just guessing and hitting the ball all over the place.

As you can probably guess, I didn’t win any of the levels. My score on average was a +2 and for sure you can bet that I didn’t get an Birdy’s. The opponents did not hold back and really just went out of their way to bury me the whole time. No problem, I can take it but unlike most games where I can easily picture myself winning, I can tell that this one would take a lot of practice and time. Not exactly part of my plan so I’ll just have to hold the L on this one.

Naturally I will give the game props for the graphics. The game looks very sharp as you would expect and the level designs are good. Perhaps not as varied as they could be but they all stick out. I also liked seeing some new characters in the mix like Plum. It’s a shame that she never caught on and got to appear more. The soundtrack isn’t quite as memorable as Tennis or Kart but there are some good tunes here to keep you busy while you’re playing the levels. I really have no problems on the technical side. If the gameplay was better then automatically I would find this to be a very high quality game. It’s just that gameplay will always outclass all of the other aspects of a game.

The only attribute that can come close is a great story. Like an amazing story with bad gameplay can possibly get a pass because I’m so invested that I’ll endure whatever is thrown at me. I feel like that’s the only exception though. The graphics can be the best in the world but if the gameplay is no good then that’s just game over. Again it all comes down to having fun and so if you’re not having fun with the game then something went wrong.

Overall, Mario Golf should be fun for people who really enjoy the sport but if you’re on the fence or just aren’t very impressed by it then it’s really not going to do a whole lot for you. You’ll end up wanting to skip to the next title. At the end of the day some games just don’t click and for me this was one of those occasions. I get that a good amount of effort was put into the title but at the end of the day I just didn’t find it very fun and that will always hurt a whole lot. A game is made to be really fun after all so if you can’t pull that off then it’s truly game over. So I’d say if you have the Switch Online, check out any of the other Mario sport games instead.

Overall 5/10