Why I Paid 5.99 in Super Smash Bros

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I consider myself to be a freemium player most of the time. Whether I’m playing Pokemon Go, Super Smash, or Mario Kart, I just don’t buy DLC. It doesn’t feel right that big companies are selling us 60 dollar beta titles instead of wholesome games. That being said, the first time I really compromised on this was with Super Smash Bros. There are multiple 5.99 characters that came out like Ryu, but I mainly just got him to stay cool. It’s when Cloud and Bayonetta showed up that I realized they were necessary for me to keep on playing. I’m not a casual Smash player after all, I’m a pro. I need to stay at the top of my game so when a better character shows up I have to ditch my main instantly. Here are 5 reasons why I paid the 5.99 and why you should as well.

1. Free Wins
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My original main was Sheik. I’d work long and hard to perfect really advanced 10+ hit combos where I’d finally tack on 50% or so and feel good about it. With Cloud, I can rack up that % with a mindless up air string. I can get it even easier with Bayonetta as I just hold Side B then do Up B and keep repeating until my opponent is dead. There is no skill necessary as you just need to learn one easy combo and you’re set. You’ll instantly see your results go up and you’ll become a legitimate tournament threat. That sounds pretty good doesn’t it? You’ll probably feel bad at first as this all just seems too easy, but you’ll eventually be able to justify your decision. Just look at the picture above. If you’re playing Cloud, your opponent will never go over 100%.

2. The Value
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What else would you spend 5.99 on? You can probably get half of a Subway’s sandwich and a drink with that or a 2 slices and soda deal from Little Italy but those things will be gone in minutes. Your DLC in Smash will stay forever. These characters will become memories that you can keep with you through the years as you look back on what a great investment it was. It’s not just any DLC…it’s the right DLC! Domino’s Pizza is amazing, but not even that can beat out a new character.

3. Forget the character loyalty
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I mained Fox in the first three Smash games. I was determined to main him here as well but he just didn’t click for some reason. That’s why I moved to Cap and then to Sheik. Finally I found Cloud/Bayonetta and I knew that it was time for a change. Why wouldn’t I play these characters when they are just better than the others. I know it’s tough to let go of the character loyalty at first, but once you do you’ll be glad that you did. It’s particularly sad for popular characters like Pac-Man who have a lot of fans but aren’t exactly destined for greatness in this game. By all means, keep him in the pocket, but play Cloud for all of his bad matchups…and then play him for the good ones as well. Not saying tiers are real…but we are paying to win.

4. You can be one of the cool kids
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Everyone plays Cloud now. He’s won almost every big doubles tournament in Super Smash after all. It’s basically necessary to play this guy because of how overwhelmingly overpowered he is. If you don’t pay the 5.99 you won’t be able to wear your snapback with pride. You will get dirty looks from the rest of the players if you choose the free version of Cloud, aka Shulk. You just have to pay the money if you want to stay with the popular crowd and I don’t know about you, but staying in that crowd is necessary for the memes. You don’t want to fall behind the curve.

5. I’ve prepared myself for the future
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Finally, I’m now ready for the future. DLC isn’t going away, in fact it gets stronger and stronger every year. Before you know it, most of the characters in a game are going to be DLC. Just look at Street Fighter V or SF X Tekken. SF V is almost going to literally be half free and half dlc characters if it keeps going at this rate. You’ll be missing half of the game if you don’t do something. By paying the 5.99 now, you’ll be able to justify the 59.99 once you’re buying a 60 dollar beta and have to repurchase it. You’ll be paying hundreds of dollars in nickels and dimes by the end so you may as well get used to it.

In short, Pay to Win is a very successful way to run a business. You want to have the money on deck and these are the reasons why I paid the 5.99. Ever since I did, things have looked up. I use the extra time that I get from not needing to practice combos to smack talk on Reddit and Gamefaqs. I use all of my extra wins and glory to reaffirm that this was the right call. It all just works out and so now you too should pay the 5.99 and show the corporations that you support this business with your dollars. If not, I accept any challenges to show why my Cloud takes on your free characters.
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5 thoughts on “Why I Paid 5.99 in Super Smash Bros

    • Good to see that you have not betrayed Lightning for easy combos! I’d definitely pay 5.99 for Lightning as well. This article was pretty fun to write, I’m probably going to try to keep up the once a month editorials. Some will be humor based like this one while others are played straight. I definitely do have a Final Fantasy XIII one coming eventually which will be fun =)

  1. I rarely buy DLC because I don’t want to support that type of business model. Back when DLC started out I feared that greedy companies would abuse it and sadly things have panned out that way. I don’t blame you for purchasing Smash characters though. By all means reward a developer who has given you so many hours of joy. Like you say, that $5.99 will give you more fun than buying a fast food meal.

    • It’s definitely true that DLC is completely overdone at this point. Street Fighter V is one of the biggest examples for me as around half of the cast must be purchased along with well over half of the stages and most extra costumes and colors. You’d spend a bundle of money trying to get them all when most of that should have been in the base game. I think Smash Bros is one of the few that did it right. The Mii costumes may have been a bit of a cash grab, but the characters were pretty well done.

      I skip eating outside as much as possible and try to just make something at home so I can keep saving the extra bucks

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