I believe that this is the first film of the franchise that I have reviewed. I have seen the others, but they were before my reviewing days. (And I don’t plan to re watch them, just so that I can get the reviews!) Long story short, I’m not a fan of the series and it tends to bring shame to the pirate name. (Rhyme intended!) Could this film switch things up since it would be so different? Well….let’s see.

Trying to cover the plot is usually tricky in these films. They are after the Fountain of Youth, but they spend most of the film getting caught up in the sub plots. Jack Sparrow is being impersonated (He’s the main character) by another pirate and he’s (Very) mildly upset. He tries to get his title back, but since his doesn’t have much in the way of sword skills, he may need help. He’s never been the most loyal ally to have in a fight and you can never tell what he’ll pull.

After the events of the previous film, he doesn’t have the Black Pearl and he doesn’t even have a crew. Jack Sparrow can’t really be called a Captain at this point and he’s mostly just having fun doing nothing. Blackbeard and Barbossa are around so at least we have our villains right? Well….if you can take them seriously. One of them ended up selling out while the other doesn’t make for a compelling villain. James Bond could probably defeat these guys in a fight and I’m sure you know how embarrassing that is right?

Angelica is the pirate who impersonated Jack Sparrow. Somehow this ploy actually worked since nobody has enough respect for the Captain to even remember how he looks. The Government also gets involved, but they don’t look very good for the entire film. Jack Sparrow ends up outsmarting them a lot of the time. (They did have 1 good scene where they outsmarted him though)

There’s one thing that I should mention. If you’ve seen the other films in the series, you’ll probably already know this. Still, this must be said so that all can beware. There has never been a single interesting character in the series! Every character in the whole franchise is unlikable (Monsters not included, but can be subject to the rule) and they really get on your nerves. It’s just sad how many mistakes these guys make. They wouldn’t last long in a tactical battle.

The Pirate films tend to be pretty long and this one still manages to crack the 100 minute mark. That’s not Very long right?…..you’d be surprised. They always drag on when Jack Sparrow is involved and this is not an exception. The camera can get very dark so you don’t really see what’s happening, but maybe that’s a good thing. There are less zombies and undead guys running around so there aren’t as many “Gross Out” moments in this one. On the other hand, we have the mermaids who don’t really add anything to the film.

So, what’s the verdict? I tried to make it painstakingly clear through the review, but let’s quickly go through the run down. Bad characters, Convoluted Plot, Bad Camera Work, Drags On, etc. The graphics still feel very old and this doesn’t look like a recent film. I don’t think that the series will be able to turn it around and we are going to need a reboot. To be honest, I actually preferred this one to the earlier films. That is definitely not a good thing! If you want a film with real pirates and cool action scenes, check out One Piece! You won’t regret it!!

Overall 2/10

True Grit is a call back to the old wild west days. If that didn’t start some alarms ringing in your head, then you may want to rethink that. I’ve never been a wild west person, but maybe this film could get past that. Maybe it could show me what a true wild west film should be like! Let’s see…..

The film starts out with a verse of scripture (Which is a solid way to start the film!) and then we get some narration. It appears that Tom Chaney defeated Mattie’s father and now she plans to avenge him. She mentions that everyone gets what’s coming to them at some point or other, but she’s going to take him down personally. First she needs to hire a gunman and get some money. In one of the better (but sadder) parts of the film, she negotiates with Colonel Stonehill. I liked his courage and dedication to the finer arts of negotiating, but Mattie is the protagonist, so things may not go his way. I’d say that this is where the film started going downhill. Slowly at first, but then it took a very steep nosedive towards the end.

Mattie hired a Marshall named Cogburn. They set out alongside LeBoueuf. (Who can get violent, but towards the end you’re supposed to sympathize with him because he’s a “hero”) They set off on a long trek to take down Chaney, but can they possibly catch him? Only time will tell I’m afraid.

Mattie isn’t a very good protagonist. I never liked a film to have a kid (Or in this case, very early teen) as the main character. I just can’t take the character seriously and it’s not as much fun. She has her “epic” scene at the end, but while it may have been temporarily satisfying, she should have listened to her own words. “Everyone pays for their sins” She’s all right with a gun, but she does freeze up when the going gets tough.

LeBoueuf is a pretty bad character. His opening scene is just awful and his next scene just keeps him on a spiralling track into oblivion. No matter what scenes he would get after that, it would be too late. He also tends to get taken out of a fight when things get tough.

How about Cogburn? Well, he tends to get drunk a lot and while he was a decent main character for a while, his poor treatment of his horse instantly put him on my bad list. That was just unacceptable and these characters could definitely learn a thing or two about true heroes.

Aside from Stonehill, I can’t say that I liked any characters in this film. Add to that the plethora of animal violence scattered across the film and some pretty cringe worthy scenes, this is not a film that I recommend at all. The Christian messages through the film are nice, but since the main character ignores all of them, you start to think about what the moral is. If you are squeamish about violence, you should probably avoid this film and if you like horses, then you should Definitely avoid this film. Next time you want to see something about the Wild West, check out the two part time travel episode in Justice League Unlimited. That’s the Wild West done right.

Overall 2/10

The Messengers is an intriguing title, but nobody really gets to carry the message. After Roy Solomon loses his job and the family is pretty low on cash, they decide to go live on a farm. There’s not much to do around there, but the place looks all right. It’s not my type of place since there are way too many insects and bees around the flowers, but it could be worse. Jess starts to see ghosts and human/zombie hybrids around the house, but only her kid brother seems to notice them. The ghosts start to get more and more destructive, but how can she deliver the message to her parents?

Well, this movie deals with supernatural creatures who possess reality warping abilities. It wasn’t stated, but that power seems to make the most sense based on their feats. They can wreck the place and then bring it back together, Summon Crows, and even turn the very ground into mud. Of course, while the ghosts may be super powerful…they never show it. Sure, they can attack kids, but they seem to be afraid of showing themselves to the parents. So, for all of their power, they can’t win the big battles and they tend to need some help. They were incapable of overpowering the main character (Jess) and even once someone had thrown the main villain into the mud…they couldn’t keep him in. These guys were hardly the strongest ghosts out there.

I never really liked any of the cast, but they were all right. Jess was your average teen protagonist who can see the ghosts, but can’t convince anyone. Her kid brother lost his ability to talk after a car crash. Her parents are trying to live life to its fullest on the farm, but it’s tough work since the stains on the wall never go away. A stranger whose name is John (Suspicious eh?) comes along and says something about how this would be a good opportunity for him. He decides to work for sunflowers until the main characters get enough money to pay him.

I don’t think that I would let a total stranger live on the farm, but to each his own. I think I would have been satisfied with the ghosts, but at the end there is a plot twist which makes them a little irrelevant. Or at least it makes them less frightening. I didn’t like the plot twist and it brought the film down a couple of notches along with the obligatory animal death. If you’re a fan of horror movies, then maybe you’ll enjoy this one. (I’ve never been a horror fan myself)

Overall 2/10