Category Archives: 6 Star Movies

Pickup Review

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It’s time for a film where the main character is such a sucker that you almost don’t feel bad for him. Yeah of course I still feel a little bad for the guy but he really didn’t do anything to help himself out. When you get too desperate you start to walk into all kinds of traps and that’s exactly what happened here.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Horak who is a nice enough guy but he’s feeling lonely lately. He lost his wife 2 years ago and lost his dog recently. His friend the Professor advises him to get a new dog so Horak looks around but then he is effortlessly seduced by a local girl named Betty who is low on cash and wants a free meal. He pays for all of her food/drink and then heads back home. The problem is now that he’s been with someone else again, he doesn’t want to go back to being alone. No…he can’t be alone! So he quickly marries her but then loses his hearing. He quickly regains it but pretends that it is still gone and realizes that Betty never really loved him. She just wants his money and may be preparing to murder him. What can Horak do about this?

Now I went a little fast towards the end there so lets break this down a bit. The reason why I am not too sympathetic to Horak’s cause is because Betty is not subtle at all. From the start she treats him like trash, insults his house, and generally insults him as a person all of the time. He seems to barely notice because he is so in love with her. Cmon that’s just an awful look. I feel like he has selective hearing at times because she’ll be hurling insults and he half heartedly starts talking about coffee and heads off.

You have to assume she’s not even great at being a scammer because of how she can’t keep the facade of being a nice person up for even 10 minutes. She’s just lucky that he is so desperate. That desperation is what makes him a really poor character. He doesn’t even realize that Betty doesn’t like his friend and so the guy he’s been hanging out with forever doesn’t drop by the house as much anymore. You don’t just ditch a close friend like that.

Most of the thriller aspects are from the second half where he starts to finally see how dangerous she is. The film has a massive plot hole here though. So the characters know that he is super hard of hearing so they can have normal conversations around him but have to yell to get him to hear them. Okay so that’s fine but at one point they want to test him and see if Horak can actually hear or if he’s faking. So Betty yells in his ear and Horak doesn’t react. They’re satisfied but they shouldn’t be. The whole point is that he can hear when the voice is loud enough so why would he not hear a scream at all? He actually should have reacted and their plan should have been different.

Yeah so Horak is really a bad character here. He lets Betty get away with way too much and clearly has no self respect. You can’t just accept being treated so poorly like that, it sets an awful precedent. Meanwhile Betty is a full antagonist the whole time. At first you figure that maybe she’s going to have a bit of a character arc or she’s getting through some things but nah she was just bad from the start. She even has quite the reputation about this which everyone knows about…except for Horak of course. She actually gets off real easy by the end of the film and probably wins off screen due to Horak not properly ending things off when he had the chance.

Then there’s Steve who is a really bad character. The guy is openly cheating the whole time which is already awful in itself. Then there’s the fact that he lets Betty seduce him even while he sees her seducing Horak. He figures that he’s the exception somehow and that she actually likes him but how gullible do you have to be? It’s obvious that he is the next victim in her quest and yet he allows himself to be manipulated with no resistance. By the end of the film he even starts drinking and loses control of himself. The guy’s a villain just like her and he gets off just as easily.

This is really where the film loses a point for me. It’s an interesting title to be sure but the film has a really unsatisfying ending. It’s sort of a let everyone go their own ways kind of ending but it doesn’t work when you have antagonists like this running around. You want them to go to jail or something. Instead they’re free to mess someone else up down the line. Yeah I put Steve in the same boat as Betty because you don’t go as far as he did by just making a mistake. He’s a crook same as her.

At least the Professor was a nice character the whole time but his role is surprisingly small to the point where you could cut him out and nothing really changes. I wonder if he was originally meant to have a bigger role or something because it will just leave you a bit confused as to why he’s here.

Well the writing is good and the pacing is on point so the film succeeds where it counts. The character cast is fairly small so they all get a lot to do. Horak is just a really annoying main character. Maybe that’s why the ending is unsatisfying since the writers didn’t want to give him a big win either. I can understand that but then have them all get sent to jail or something. Make up some crime that they all get framed for.

Overall, This is a good film to serve as a reminder to never let yourself get too desperate. If a situation seems too good to be true then you should look into it. Don’t settle for love either, if you find someone who is settling for you then that’s not a relationship you want to be in. As the cliche goes, you gotta know your worth. At the end of the day even if it means being alone, you need to keep your respect. Horak saved up his whole life and nearly lost it all for trying to rush things. This kind of story is taken to the extreme in a movie like this but plenty of people make this mistake in real life as well. It’s not the best Noir title out there by far but it does more right than it does wrong and will keep you engaged the whole way through.

Overall 6/10

Going My Way Review

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Time for another festive film as we get closer to Christmas. This one has a solid message and a good character cast but ends up being held back just a little bit by not having enough fun. I think the movie ends up spreading itself a bit too thin with such a large cast and so at times you just wish they would stick to one story beat for a little longer instead of all the jumping around. It makes the film start to get a little boring at times but ultimately it sticks the landing well enough.

The movie starts off with a new guy entering the neighborhood. He is to work at the local church under Father Fitzgibbon but doesn’t have the best first impression as he gets framed for a ball crashing through the window and then gets yelled at by an annoying neighbor. Still, Chuck is eager to help the church out even if it seems like Fitzgibbon is ready to throw him away. What Chuck hasn’t let him in on is that he’s actually the head honcho now as he was sent to save the church. He just doesn’t want to embarrass Fitzgibbon so Chuck pretends that he works for him. It’s definitely a nice thing to do even if it does mean that his mission will be a little more difficult now. Can he save everyone?

I would really describe this film as Chuck going around town and trying to solve everyone’s problems. You have the kids getting into a lot of trouble all the time, a girl who is trying to be an aspiring talent and a guy and his father who completely disagree on everything. That’s just for starters. As the new guy on the block Chuck doesn’t have a ton of credibility yet so he will need to quickly show them why they should listen to him and get their lives back on track. All while trying not to but heads with Fitzgibbon too much.

With his debates with the older pastor, I do think Chuck could have explained himself a little more at times. Like when he walked into their first meeting in pajamas. It’s played off as a comical moment but I do think Fitzgibbon was justified in feeling like Chuck wasn’t taking this seriously. That’s absolutely how it appeared at least since he doesn’t have the privilege of seeing the events as we did. Then you have Chuck having fun golfing and such. He would really appear to not be serious at all initially.

Now Fitz does get to see Chuck doing a lot of good as the film goes on. I just think he was actually rather reasonable in his reactions. Fitz absolutely means well even if he can be a little old fashioned and once the two start teaming up things go a lot better. That’s where the heart of the film comes in as it’s about keeping an open mind and trying new things. Sometimes you do need a new approach to an old problem, particularly if the current tactics weren’t working. A lot of people were in quite the predicament under Fitzgibbon’s leadership and while it’s not like he was directly responsible for that, he would not have been able to solve the situations without Chuck.

Meanwhile while Chuck doesn’t communicate enough, he is good at his job. He takes some risks and ultimately bonds with the people really quickly. You need to be very personable when you’re working at a Church after all since you won’t convert any hearts if nobody likes you. His friend Timmy maybe goes a bit too far in how laidback he is though. You don’t really see him doing much work at all but hey I suppose we can’t see what he’s doing off camera. You should be able to have a job where you can relax and have a good time so long as you are still doing your work when it comes time to produce. The ending of the film has a cliffhanger that could have made for an interesting dynamic even if it may have been like a bit of a retread.

So the main plot is solid, but like I said the film can get a little uneventful sometimes with the other plots. For example the romance plot with Carol and Ted. Basically they end up getting married real quick and really rub it in Ted’s father’s face. You’re supposed to be rooting for them but they did come across as a bit rude there even if it was meant to be in good fun. He ultimately has no choice but to accept it since they’re married but then Ted is heading off to the army so they are going to be separated for a while as is. It’s a happy ending as they at least made the relationship official which is good but you just don’t really care about what is going on in this plot. We could have used that for more screentime comparing how the two pastors handle things differently in church.

Give us more scenes with the actual sermons and trying to raise money instead. As it is we already had the romance plot of sorts with the main character running into a lady that he used to be involved with back in the day. Of course he has turned from all such things now but it’s nice that they still have a friendship going. In a way this film does feel like a combination of a lot of experiences that you could picture really happening at the Church but at the same time it maybe goes a little too realistically at times so the film doesn’t have that hook.

Overall, The film plays it fairly safe and I have no significant issues with it. It’s probably not a film that I would ever really feel the need to rewatch but the writing is good and the character cast is solid on the whole so you could do a lot worse. It’s a good film, I just feel like it could have been a very good film. Throw in a little more humor and let us see more of the debates between the lead and Fitz. Based on the premise that’s more or less what I was expecting but it felt like there just weren’t as many of those scenes as I thought there would be.

Overall 6/10

Mrs. Miracle Review

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It’s time for our next big Hallmark adventure. The films have always been consistently solid and this is another good entry to check out. It’s a bit weaker than the average title I will say in part because two kids play a big part in the story and naturally they can’t quite keep up with the other characters. The strong writing keeps this flowing together smoothly either way.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Seth and his two kids. The kids have always been a handful and this has been getting worse and worse over the years. Every single babysitter ran out as fast as they could rather than deal with the kids. Seth’s wife died a long time ago and at this point it seems like he may have to be forever alone. That’s when Mrs. Miracle shows up. It’s hard to say who she is exactly as the lady is shrouded in mystery but possesses teleportation, telekinesis, and is more intelligent than the average person. She has decided to pretend to be the new babysitter to help the kids mature while also introducing Seth to the next love of his life. Can Seth stay true to the memory of his wife or is he ready to jump into the next relationship?

So first up the kids are definitely annoying. Let me throw that out there right away, these kids are not really helping Seth out at all. They seem rather apologetic after making a mess of things but that doesn’t stop them from doing the same thing over and over and over again. Seriously they never seem to learn their lesson and yeah they’re young but all of their scenes do tend to be annoying so the film has to work on succeeding in spite of them.

Seth meanwhile is doing his best to raise the kids while working a full time job. It’s not easy but he makes it work and always has a good attitude about it. So I definitely have to give him some proper credit there. He doesn’t seem thrilled about the kids being in the big show but ultimately he still does his best to encourage them. The guy doesn’t even seem all that lonely or sad despite everyone trying to get him back into the market. He’s just living his best life and having a good time.

Then you have Reba who is a successful entrepreneur who owns her own business. She’s doing quite well for herself and has really succeeded by every metric but when the school teacher for the play goes down, Reba is asked to take over. She very reasonably points out that she has a business to run but the other characters don’t care and so she’s guilt tripped into this. I dunno, I think I’m on Reba’s team here but hey that’s how it goes I suppose. She does her best and due to some magical shenanigans she bumps into Seth and they hit it off. It’s all going well except that each of them has one problem.

Seth refuses to pay music anymore since he wants to keep that sacred between him and his wife. Playing the piano is the one thing he can’t do anymore so he asks that this be respected. Meanwhile Reba refuses to talk to her sister anymore after that person stole her fiancé and basically destroyed any ties between them. So she wants Seth to respect that. So what happens? Reba tells Seth he should play the piano again and Seth tells her to go and make amends with the sister. Yeah…the one thing that both characters don’t want to do. This is where the film loses me a little bit.

They’re lucky that the other character didn’t go for the break up right away. It’s hard to just get over something so huge and especially when you’re being told to do it by someone that you’ve only just met. It’s just not going to go over well. I think it’s very reasonable for Seth to want something that remains private between him and his wife. Not wanting to play the piano isn’t some kind of grand crime or anything like that. It’s just a personal decision.

Then on the other side, Reba is also pretty justified in not forgiving her sister. Having her steal the fiancé like that is absolutely something that cannot be taken back. What’s worse is the guy broke up with her and we already know that she only grabbed him to get one up on Reba. So she stole the guy and then the win was obtained so everything after that didn’t matter. Yeah if I’m Reba I’m probably never talking to her again either. The ending forces both characters to come to terms with this and forgive/forget but that was more than a little cheesy. I know the ending has to be perfect but they should have made the challenges a little more mild since then it would be easier to get past them.

As for Mrs. Miracle, well she does tend to interfere with the characters a lot but she sees it as her duty. She’s like Mary Poppins in a sense but hides her abilities a little more. She’s nice enough, ultimately she is just trying to help everyone out even if her viewpoint can possibly be a little skewed at some points. If she thinks that she is in the right then she will plunge ahead no matter what the other characters say. It’s her world and we’re just living in it after all.

The writing for the film is pretty solid as you would expect. The characters are all fairly pleasant after all. They can get real emotional real fast but in the end things tend to work out. The characters can always apologize and start over. They may say things they will regret later on but it never goes too far out of bounds to where it wouldn’t make sense for them to stay together. They even compromise a whole lot to make this work even if that’s where I think they can go a bit far.

Overall, This is a pretty fun film for Christmas. It’s got a fun vibe all the way through and just makes for an enjoyable movie. It goes by really quickly and the fast is also quite small so that lets you really get to analyze each character. If you’ve seen the Hallmark formula before then you probably know how the film is going to end before it actually does and yet it’s fine because the execution is on point. You have no problem seeing the beats coming since you are enjoying them as they appear. I’ll have a review up for the next film in this series pretty quickly.

Overall 6/10

Naked Alibi Review

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Time for one of those noir films where you have to stay focused and make sure you don’t miss anything! The film really covers a lot of ground which is pretty good as half of the film is about the first part of the suspect’s double life and then we go to the other. So it’s like the film is actually following the guy’s career path which makes a lot of sense. The villain gets away with quite a bit as the film goes on and the ending isn’t the most satisfying which is what holds this one back a little.

The movie starts with some police officers interrogating Willis. Willis was really drunk and the cops have reason to think he may know something about recent robberies. Willis gets quite upset and even starts a fight but ultimately the cops are forced to let him go. Officer Conroy overhears Willis swear revenge and then shortly afterwards a cop is murdered. Conroy is convinced that Willis is behind this but there is no proof. Then another pair of officers are murdered and Conroy really wants to take Willis down but getting the evidence is the tricky part. Willis also has public opinion on his side so Conroy ends up getting fired from his job for going at this a little too strongly. Well, he will crack this case even if he has to do it as a civilian and follows Willis across the border. Can he really make it out of this alive?

You could say that the opening city is Conroy’s home base since even after being let go from the police force he knows everybody and can tail Willis rather easily. When we switch to Willis’ home base then it’s a lot tougher as Conroy doesn’t know the local gangs or how things work here. In fact he is quickly taken down by a bunch of thugs and only barely survives thanks to Marianna and a kid who spotted Conroy in time. Conroy was a bit sloppy there even if it was because he was just desperate at this point. You still can’t follow just anybody, particularly in a seedy environment like this. It’s just not going to work.

I applaud Conroy’s dedication the whole time though. He never relents in the search or doubts himself at all even when everyone tries to talk him out of it. Conroy knows that he has got his man. Working on your own like that is definitely tough and he doesn’t fall for Marianna’s distractions either. He is completely locked in and ultimately does good. He has to be one of the standout characters in the film although I also give his partner a lot of credit for risking his own career in helping Conroy out the whole time.

Meanwhile Marianna is in a really rocky spot the whole film. She is with Willis but the guy is obviously abusive and isn’t exactly the ideal guy. She has put up with this for a long time and is basically resigned to being with him but this gets more and more unbearable as she learns about him. The relationship was toxic from the start so it’s partially on her as even from the opening greeting he’s putting hands on her and she seems okay with it. It’s once she finds out that there’s another woman involved that it gets more personal. Mix that in with Willis getting more and more paranoid and it’s a recipe for trouble.

It’s clear from her rather rough living expenses that Marianna doesn’t have many options available to her though. Willis basically owns the area and she has no way of getting out. So the whole plot point is a rather tragic one an you wish things could have gone better for her. She definitely tried to help out as best she could even if this wasn’t always a good idea. Following Willis into the Church for example was definitely ill advised. She did not appear to be prepared at all.

Finally you have Willis who is a fairly crazy villain all the way through. He wants pure chaos all the time and really sells the innocent routine. He managed to make a lot of friends at his day job which helps for the alibi. People just seem to like him and it’s a bit scary how well trusted he was despite having this double life. It just goes to show once again that you may not always know someone quite as well as you think you do. The side you see at work is just one part of them after all.

While I definitely don’t like Willis at all, he is probably one of the best fakers I’ve seen in a while. If this was your first Noir title you may actually believe him for the first half because the guy seems really genuine the whole time. I mean fighting a few officers is a massive red flag if I’ve ever seen one but if you get behind that then you’re all set. The film is definitely compelling as you wait for Conroy to take him down.

Ultimately like I said the main weak point here is the ending. It just feels a bit mean spirited even for a Noir title with everything going on. I also think the scenes with Marianna follow suit with her having to take a lot of punishment before Conroy can ultimately come in and put a stop to this. It’s really just a rough situation for everyone involved and shows why you don’t want to have to live in an area ruled by a gangster. It’s just never going to go over all that well and you’re going to really get blasted the longer you hang around there.

Overall, Naked Alibi is a film with a fairly intricate plot and it’s got a lot going for it. The story is engaging and Conroy is a great main character. It also shows how frustrating it can be when you know who the villain is but just don’t have the proof to put him away. It puts you in a really tough spot the whole time. I’d have appreciated getting to see Conroy having a full mano a mano fight with Willis and getting us a happier ending but at the end of the day this is still a film that will keep your attention. It can get rather dark and comes close to breaking through to being overdone but mainly keeps sticks to scratching the edge.

Overall 6/10

The Letter Review

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It’s time for a movie that is entertaining but definitely riddled with suckers around every corner. These characters were all slacking, down bad, or just generally not very smart. Either way it makes for quite the ensemble and the whole time you’re wondering when they will wake up or if it’s just going to be game over for them. The movie’s fairly short so you don’t have to wait long for your answer.

The movie starts off with Leslie shooting the living daylights out of a guy who’s trying to scramble out of her house. He doesn’t make it though and she finishes him off with a few more shots. She summons her husband Robert and their friend Howard as she explains that the guy tried assaulting her and so she had to shoot him in self defense. Of course it is still a murder so she’s heading to trial now but should be found innocent very quickly. Howard has a lot of doubts about this case because of little odd notes that keep popping up that don’t line up with Leslie’s story. Still, he’s just ready to get this over with his bus receptionist Ong shows up and says that a letter exists which will destroy the whole case. Should Howard destroy his entire legal career to save his client when he knows that she is actually guilty or should he follow the law and do the right thing? It’s going to be a tough call.

After all on one hand you could follow the law and establish a fair case. Doing this would save his best friend $10,000, would ensure that he salvages the reputation of the deceased, would keep his career in order, and would get Leslie to actually pay for her crimes. On the flip side, he could save Leslie and ensure she gets away with pure murder, allow his best friend Robert to never realize that his wife was cheating on him, destroy the deceased’s reputation, and also spend $10,000. I’ve never seen an easier decision and yet in the film this is treated as a tough one.

It just makes absolutely no sense. The film maybe works if he actually thought that Leslie was innocent and the letter was fake. Maybe have him try to buy it only because he thinks that the jury would be fooled. That’s a much more interesting dilemma and actually makes a bit of sense. Otherwise the way it appears here is just no good. For a minute that I thought he was falling in love with Leslie which would have been awful for his character but then I would at least understand the logic. However that doesn’t even happen so you’re just questioning his judgment now. Howard’s a pretty awful character all around.

Then you have Robert who unfortunately fits into the trope of the nice guy. He’s just so nice and forgiving that both Leslie and Howard know that he will forgive her even after she was cheating on him. It’s really a bad look for this guy as he opens his heart up again just for her to break it one last time. Hey I’m all for second chances but when you’ve been cheated on then the trust is completely gone. You can never really get it back and the worst part is that Leslie isn’t even sorry about it. She’s sorry that she got caught but that’s about it. Robert really needed to stand up for himself more.

Of course Leslie’s a pretty bad character as well as she threw away a perfectly good life in search of thrills and adventure. There was no real reason to leave Robert like that and she knows it. She just let her base desires win and that was the end of that. Throughout the film she is portrayed as very manipulative and rather merciless so at no point do you actually stop and consider that maybe she’s the victim here. Because it’s obvious that she isn’t. The film does a good job of making her so unrepentant here to the point where when the ending shows up you were practically waiting for it. Leslie really handled the situation as poorly as possible given all of the hints though.

Then you have Ong who does a lot of planning the whole time. He really sets up the conspiracies and places the heroes in harm’s way time and time again. You have to give him credit for being really dedicated. Again I think it was too easy to blackmail the main characters since the ammo wasn’t that strong and the characters should not have gone for it at all but I guess that’s just how it goes.

So while I didn’t really like any of the characters, the film succeeds because the story is still good. It’s an engaging movie from start to finish and also has good writing throughout. The pacing is on point and at no moment will you get bored or anything like that. That’s why I would still say this is a good movie in spite of the characters. A lesser film would have absolutely crumbled without a solid cast but this one managed to really keep it together.

Overall, The Letter is a film that I would recommend checking out. It’s definitely a good cautionary tale to remind you how easy it can be to tell a convincing lie. If you just believe what you are told at face value then you will be putting yourself in a really tricky spot. It can be hard to know who to believe and when to believe something. Unfortunately there will never be a 100% foolproof way to determine that so just go with your gut but always remember that your gut can be wrong sometimes. The characters here definitely learned that the hard way. I would have preferred if the characters could have acted more rationally here so maybe the film could take a bit of a swerve on a remake if we ever get one.

Overall 6/10

The 30 Foot Bride of Candy Rock Review

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It’s time for a parody of a film that I wasn’t a big fan of. Fortunately this one blows the original out of the water. I’m not going to say that it’s a great film or anything but it’s fun enough and worth a few laughs. Ultimately I would say that it is solid and a film that you don’t want to forget because of how absurd the whole thing is.

The film starts off by introducing us to Rossiter who is running for governor. This guy knows that he is the best man for the job and is eager to do whatever it takes to win. The only real obstacle in his path is the garbage disposal man, Artie. Artie is someone who has resisted Rossiter’s total ownership of the town. This man owns all of the businesses except for Artie’s. The worst part is that his niece Emmy is dating Artie which Rossiter fears will lower his own social reputation. Well Artie manages along just fine until Emmy grows huge one day. Now her appetite is fierce and she desperately needs to consume more and more calories. Can he really handle her at this point or is it game over for Artie?

Artie is one of those guys who isn’t very smart and so he rarely notices when someone’s insulting him. He tends to be getting dominated throughout the film with a variety of insults but at least his spirits never go low because he takes it all in stride. The guy is really carefree in a lot of ways and that’s nice because it really means that he can always make a comeback. Through misunderstandings and absurd events going on he manages to usually get some victories too like Rossiter allowing him to marry Emmy.

Artie’s ultimately not one of the most likable characters though because of this. Not being very smart tends to hurt when it’s to an exaggerated degree. He did somehow create a robot capable of moving through time and space while bending reality though so he does have some skills. It does lead to a fairly interesting climax with a lot going on though. If you thought the first half was crazy, well the second half definitely escalates this quite a bit. Trust me the film was not holding back at all.

Emmy doesn’t look as good here though because she tends to be unreasonable once she’s a giant. Now you could say that a side effect of turning giant is that it’s destroying her reasoning skills and that’s certainly possible but I’m not sure that I’m giving her that out yet. The film doesn’t really go into that and so in the end it can make her look a little petty. She causes a ton of collateral damage when throwing the trees around and ultimately takes her vengeance a little too far. Honestly people could have died after all of the rampaging. Also the town did pretty well to get her the jumbo food and drink considering that this was a situation nobody had seen before.

Finally I did enjoy Rossiter’s character quite a bit. Yeah the guy’s as selfish and uncaring as can be but that’s part of his charm. He’s the guy who would run you over to save 50 cents if he needed too. All he cares about is himself and he’s not afraid to flaunt that. He has a ton of close calls while on camera but always manages to play them off which shows how resourceful he is. I actually think he could do a pretty good job all things considered. Yeah he’s not someone you could ever trust because of how two faced he is, but by all accounts he’s run the town really well.

Throughout the film everyone seems really happy and they all get along. So wouldn’t you say that Rossiter should take most of the credit for that since he owns every business? He also seems to get along with just about everyone aside from the main character which is pretty impressive. This guy has good people skills to be sure and the film establishes him well. Considering the short runtime each character has a very well defined personality right out of the gate.

The writing is really solid and the humor is on point here. Of course you really need to enjoy this humor style. I’d still consider it slapstick even if the main guy isn’t getting knocked around too much because he does get grabbed a few times. You just know he would have been slugged if there weren’t witnesses around. He definitely needs to be careful because Rossiter is not the kind of guy who will give up. You easily could have done sequels to this movie if all of the actors had still been around because there’s a whole lot of potential around the setup.

The best gag was probably when the machine started explaining how the wedding would have to wait and then it went farther to start yelling that there would be no wedding. Of course it was just another glitch but the timing was just perfect for trolling the main two. It’s clear that the robot still has a lot of errors to iron out but at least it come through when it counts. You can’t really ask for much more than that.

Overall, This is a fun film like I said before. I don’t think you’ll find it super memorable so eventually this will fade away but it’s short and never drags on. The characters have some nice back and forth banter the whole time as well which is always good. The writing did a good job here and so mixing that in with the effective humor makes the film a winner as well. It’s probably a rare case of a good film that would have been worse if it was too long because then it would drag on but that doesn’t happen here. A good movie knows when to end and I did enjoy the final scene here as a nice gag to end things off.

Overall 6/10

Bloodsport Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a big tournament epic! Bloodsport is a film I can’t say I was too familiar with even though it’s a whole series. After watching it I can definitely see the appeal though as I always enjoy a big tournament like this. Now the story beats may be overly predictable to a dramatic degree as the film really telegraphs every moment but even with that it’s executed well.

The film starts off by introducing us to Frank. He used to get into a lot of trouble but eventually he was taken in by a nice man and learned the ways of the martial arts although mostly it was second hand as he wasn’t taught directly. The guy’s real son was the one who was meant to be the champion but unfortunately he ended up dying early. Frank figures it is up to him to achieve the dream of winning the ultimate tournament now and so he gets some training in and then heads over there. This tournament is a huge deal so fighters from around the globe will be participating. It’s all done under the books as this tournament isn’t exactly official. Now why would you enter a tournament where you could die? For some it’s a matter of honor and for others it’s the money. Either way it’s the opportunity of a lifetime!

So yeah it’s very much a Mortal Kombat setup right from the start here. There are a ton of battles and that’s one thing I really liked about this film. A lot of times in these martial art titles there can be a lot of deadtime before you get to the tournament. The training is important too of course but I want to see the matches. This has to be one of the longest tournaments that I’ve seen in a long while and trust me when I say that this is a very good thing. We see all kinds of opponents so you are reminded that this isn’t just a small battle with the main character and a bunch of throwaways.

A small detail I appreciated here is that most of the opponents put up a fight. For example in your average film the main villain will sleepwalk his way to the grand finals. Instead Li actually has a tough go of it at least for a little bit against several of these opponent. His victory is never in doubt but I’m glad that they at least landed shots. It feels a little unrealistically when the villain just steamrolls everyone no matter how good he is. These are all professional fighters after all.

Each fighter also has a different fighting style. You really get to see a lot of variety here and all of the fights are really intense. We’re talking kickboxers, sumo style, aggressive hands, jumping around, etc. It works really well as a solid blend to keep each match really interesting. You also get to recognize the characters as they go through the rounds. So yes this tournament was handled excellently with the bracket and actually making every fight feel real.

The pacing is on point as well and Frank makes for a good main character. He is confident in his abilities and really does well in battle. I also appreciate how confident he is, Frank knows that he is a good fighter after all. My only complaint is when he didn’t step in as a guy was harassing a girl on the bus. Feels like most main characters would have stepped in there. It was also a bit of a bizarre intro to Ray’s character as he’s meant to be the likable sidekick after the opening scene.

He brags a ton and the more he brags the more you know his ending is going to be painful. Even so you’re meant to like the guy so the opening scene just doesn’t work. I’ll also say I think the film overdid it with all the bragging in the final round. Cmon I don’t care how overconfident the guy is, he knows exactly who he is fighting. You don’t just turn your back like that for so long. The scene is so exaggerated that it would be funny except you knew that a lot of pain was coming up.

This film definitely does go all in on the finishing blows which is another thing that will feel like Mortal Kombat. The fights with Li always end with a final blow where it feels like a 50/50 on if you’ll die or not. He holds nothing back and the tournament isn’t going to eject him for it so he keeps escalating. He has murdered someone more than once after all. The tournament’s moment of silence definitely didn’t make sense with how callous they were the whole time. It’s also a completely empty gesture considering they aren’t going to disqualify him either way.

Li’s definitely a bad guy through and through however he makes for a great final boss. You do want a powerful opponent like that at the end and the final fight has a lot of good back and forth. Li does have to cheat so it does show right away who’s better but the final fight is really on point the whole time. It’s also a little less exaggerated of a comeback than Kickboxer so you can buy into the eyes closed fighting a bit more. Ultimately it makes for a fun climax.

Now I did still have some issues with the film. First off is the romance subplot with the reporter Janice. She can be pretty annoying the whole time. So at first she wants to get into the tournament and is doing whatever she can to make this plan work. Then once Janice gets in she starts to think that the violence is too much and gets angry at Frank. I never like this kind of plot because everybody told her to stay away but she insisted that she could handle it…and then she couldn’t. Cmon…that’s just bad.

Additionally the romance is really abrupt and comes out of nowhere. Given that it’s not even going to continue, it just feels like a waste where we could have had more fights instead. Frank also needed to give the tournament his full concentration so the fact that he was almost late to a match because of that was rough. The other time was because of the army so I can cut him a little slack there.

Also the government plot could have been cut out. I suppose it helps to explain why Frank is so powerful and well conditioned but you could have easily established that with his origin. The plot just doesn’t add anything to the film except for a slight obstacle that isn’t taken very seriously anyway. The fact that they were ready to knock him out is crazy. It gives us some decent humor scenes but eh the film would have been okay either way.

Overall, Bloodsport is a pretty solid film. It has a nice sense of humor and a pretty good cast of characters. You should be warned that the film can definitely be quite violent, particularly with the finishing blows. In some cases it’s not even the blow itself that is so intense, but the build up to it because you always know what’s about to happen. Still the fight choreography is really on point and for the most part the film is careful not to overdo it the way that Kickboxer did. Yeah this is one I could safely recommend.

Overall 6/10

Stagecoach Review

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It’s time for a film about a bunch of people all stuck together on a stagecoach. It makes for a pretty interesting film even if some of the characters sure can be annoying. It’s intentional though and you get to see everyone’s true colors this way. I wouldn’t say there is a ton of action but we do get an exciting climax with some gun slinging action. Ultimately I don’t see this one being too memorable next to other titles but it’s good enough.

The movie starts with a few people getting onto a stage coach and they pick up some extra passengers along the way. One of them is a very infamous shooter named Ringo who is a wanted man. Some of the passengers don’t feel safe with him here but now they’re all heading the same way. They temporarily stop at a hut to get supplies and regroup but they lose time when one of the passengers begins to give birth. Indians and Bandits are quickly approaching and the army base isn’t nearby. Can these strangers find a way to unite and fight against these odds or are they completely doomed?

There’s definitely a lot of pettyness going on among the crew which makes it hard for them to unite. First up we have Dallas who is treated poorly by some of the other characters (Hatfield in particular) as she is a lady of the night and it’s not a profession that the characters hold in high regard. The only one who mainly defends her is Ringo who doesn’t really know or care about her past. He’s an outlaw and his values are also a bit different but he also knows it’s just plain silly to be making such a big fuss about this.

Look, it’s definitely a bad job to have but Dallas may have been forced into that business or there could be all kinds of explanations. The characters shouldn’t be so quick to condemn her and also it’s not really the time or place for this. Their being petty isn’t helping anyone. Dallas tries her best anyway like staying up the whole time the baby is being born to help as much as she can. In general she doesn’t complain or anything and is one of the most polite passengers.

As for Ringo, he may be a crook but he seems like the nicest guy on the coach. It’s definitely ironic when something like that happens. He’s an easy character to root for as a result especially compared to the others. It’s also helpful to have someone on your side who actually knows how to fight since the characters know that a fight is coming up and they won’t be able to avoid it. Without him they would all definitely be doomed.

Then we have Hatfield who is likely the worst character here. He crosses the line from being a nice guy into a “nice guy”. He constantly puts Dallas down while trying to show his complete servitude to Mrs. Mallory. The guy just never felt genuine in the slightest and naturally his idea when the going got tough was to shoot her as a “mercy” before the villains finished them off. That’s not the kind of mercy most of us are looking for and this guy just gets on your nerves the whole time.

Doc Boone is another annoying character because of how he’s always getting drunk. As the local doctor he really needs to stay sober at all times for emergencies like when Mrs. Mallory was giving birth. In the end he’s able to handle the situation just barely but it ended up being a lot closer than it needed to be and that’s entirely on him. Afterwards his first thought is to go right back to drinking too so it’s not like he learned anything. Getting addicted to alcohol like that is always such a tragic thing because you see how the character is completely overwhelmed by it.

Mrs. Mallory seemed okay enough. She wasn’t quite as rude as Hatfield but she wasn’t particularly nice to Dallas either until Dallas helped with the baby. Before that I’d call her knowingly oblivious at best. She would just stay out of the way for the most part. Then there’s Samuel who mainly serves as the resident coward of the group. He’s a bit afraid to voice his own decisions here and in general just isn’t a commanding figure. Hey, I’ll take that over being super annoying or an antagonist so that’s a start.

The writing here has that retro feel to it that I always enjoy. The script is pretty good. Even if I may not enjoy some of the characters, I can still appreciate the back and forth banter the whole time. The pacing of the film is pretty solid and the fight we get is good. This is certainly not an action film so don’t watch it for that but it’s still an added bonus. In the end this is a film you shouldn’t really have any big issues with. It’s a fairly safe ride to the end.

The cast is also fairly big so the movie does a good job of throwing so many figures at you. They all have different personalities and don’t really overlap. I didn’t even go into all of them here. The film is another reminder of why I wouldn’t have wanted to be around during the wild west era though. It feels like you are always one broken stagecoach away from serious trouble. If a wheel slips out you’re basically dead because you’ll be caught before you walk to the next army base. Even if it’s working bandits could show up at any time and if you don’t have a lot of guns then you would be doomed.

If you think about it, things go sideways for the characters here because they got delayed and before they could leave the enemies popped up. It’s not even like they made a bunch of bad decisions like horror protagonists. It’s not like you could stop the baby from being born at that moment either so the heroes were just in a rather sticky position the whole time. They’re lucky that the enemy group wasn’t bigger or things would have really gotten dicey.

Overall, Stagecoach is a good movie albeit one that is not the most memorable. It’s not particularly exceptional in any way, it just goes about its business and executes the story at a good level. Without the big gunfights or super memorable characters to write about it isn’t able to compete with the top members of the genre but it still beats the weaker ones. That’s why I’d say it’s a good movie. It’s not breaking any records but it handles itself well enough.

Overall 6/10

The Rainmaker Review

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It’s time for another court thriller. This time we have a lead who is fairly new to the game and gets thrown into a really difficult case right off the bat. This movie’s pretty solid with some nice humor but mainly a ton of focus on the court system. You’ll really learn the ins and outs here and how every technicality is super important or you could end up losing the case.

The movie starts with Rudy finally passing the law school and ready to get his license. He just needs to pass the BAR exam now but in the meantime he needs some experience. He ends up working for a guy known as the Bruiser and the office looks nice but it becomes clear that these guys don’t mind taking some shortcuts. They get wins but at any cost and ultimately this is starting to catch up to the firm. Rudy doesn’t want to get into trouble but this is the only gig he has. Can he pull this off and also do good in winning cases for his client?

I think the toughest part about being an attorney is that you won’t always be on the right side. For example you have to give it your all whether you’re defending the person you think is just or not. Fortunately Rudy manages to stay on the just side here but it’s a tough balancing act. Also even if you’re a good person, if you work for a crook then that gets a bit dicey. Seeing Bruiser get swarmed by the cops was pretty intense, I wasn’t expecting that and as a result he plays the interesting role of foreign fugitive. Obviously Bruiser’s not a good guy but I can at least respect that he takes care of his allies. Even when he’s half a world away, he shows up when it counts to help Rudy out of a jam.

Meanwhile Rudy’s partner Deck seems rather incompetent at first. He’s failed the BAR exam almost 10 times and doesn’t seem to know what he’s doing. That said as the film goes on you get to see how creative he is. Deck has the good idea of creating his own law firm with Rudy and also comes in clutch when Rudy is late to one of the hearings. So definitely a good example of not judging a book by its cover. Deck may not be book smart but he’s street smart and has picked up a whole lot over all the years that he has been in the sector.

Meanwhile Rudy is pretty good at staying focused on the cases and blocking out the noise. The main case he is handling here is on behalf of a kid named Donny who is dying of leukemia. What Rudy has to argue is that this death was preventable had the insurance company allowed him to have a bone marrow transplant operation. The defense is alleging that this would not have worked anyway and was very experimental so it wouldn’t be covered. That’s the crux of the main case here and it plays out during the duration of the film.

As with a real case there are lots of breaks and it spans many days which is how you can have the rest of the film playing out. One thing that is distracting Rudy a bit from the case is he bumped into a lady named Kelly who is being abused by her husband. Rudy tries to convince her to leave the relationship but she’s scared of the repercussions and so he has to try and figure out a way to get her out of this jam as well. It’s just difficult because there is only so much you can do from an outside perspective especially if she doesn’t want to go through with it. After all if you make the wrong move then she is the one who is going to pay the price there.

It’s a fairly dark plot and definitely the most serious part of the film. The rest of the film is still fairly serious of course but more in a somber way like with the Donny plot. This plot also nearly takes Rudy out for the count since he didn’t time things too well for when the husband would get there. In general this is a plot I’d remove from the film and keep the focus on the main case.

Meanwhile the case has a lot of developments going on for a while. For example the previous judge dies so we get a new one, Tyrone. This works out really well for Rudy because Tyrone is a whole lot more reasonable. He’s eager to see some justice done although he still has to act within the confines of the law so he gets annoyed when Rudy starts making some rookie mistakes. Either way it makes a world of difference to have a judge who is sympathetic to your cause though.

I enjoyed all of the court room stuff quite a bit. You can tell that the movie was taking the legal aspects very seriously here. It’s all done by the books and I could definitely watch that for ages. It is the film’s strength without a doubt. The writing is solid and so the pacing is pretty good there. The film tends to weaken a bit when we’re outside of the court room though. I like the legal stuff like working around the office and finding things out but the subplots outside of that aren’t quite as interesting. Rudy getting used to the area and the Kelly subplot end up distracting from the film’s main focus and the latter just felt unnecessary with how it really darkens the tone. The main case was already dark in its own way with how shady the company was so that was enough.

Overall, The Rainmaker is a good film. I’d say it’s just slightly not strong enough for me to call it a pretty good film but it hits enough of the right notes. The ending is definitely not very satisfying at all though. It feels like Rudy just started to give up and in the end that doesn’t just hurt him but all of the people who need a good lawyer out there. I didn’t buy his arguments for why it was time to leave. Still if you’re looking for a solid court movie this is a good one to check out.

Overall 6/10

The Boogeyman Review

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Everyone remembers stories of the Boogeyman from when they were a kid but the scare factor behind him hasn’t really stood the test of time in the same way as stories of vampires or werewolves. They’re just at completely different levels the whole time. This movie does a fun job of updating the mythos but honestly it feels a lot more like a mini Cloverfield monster as opposed to the Boogeyman you’d be thinking of. Honestly if you played your cards right with this film it would be a thriller instead of a horror as you could see a lot of big fight scenes taking place.

Okay so the movie starts with Will doing his best to raise his two daughters Sadie and Sawyer after their mother died in a tragic accident. He is a professional psychiatrist but while he is able to help others, Will hasn’t been able to come to terms with his own situation. As a result he refuses to bring the topic up with his daughters as well which hasn’t been good for their mental health. Sawyer is already afraid of the dark as it is and that’s before the Boogeyman shows up. Well one day a crazy guy runs into the house and starts to talk about monsters. Will decides that he knows how to handle this and leaves the guy alone in his living room while he runs to the kitchen to call the cops. By the time Will returns, the guy seemingly destroyed himself and unfortunately his eldest daughter Sawyer watched this. The traumas are growing now but what if the guy wasn’t crazy. What if a monster is around targeting kids all around the world?

This is one of those movies where we know there is a supernatural monster right out of the gate so of course we’re waiting for the heroes to realize this. While I talked about the opening with the main characters, there was a scene even sooner where a child is murdered by the Boogeyman so we know that he’s around right out of the gate. The Boogeyman only targets kids for some reason but absolutely does not mind collateral damage. If you get in his way then you will very quickly end up dead.

I will say that Will tends to be a very annoying character here. Obviously death can be very hard for some and the effects will vary from person to person. However, as the father Will does need to get it together to at least have a brave face for his kids. Refusing to talk about the subject and not helping during counseling is just being selfish by that point. Yeah the events of the film wouldn’t be all that different if he did talk since the Boogeyman doesn’t care about such things but their bond would have at least been a whole lot stronger.

Sadie is a solid character throughout who is trying to find answers and protect the family. She only weakens midway through when it comes to her “friends”. I haven’t seen a faker group of friends in a minute though. Really there is only one who has been a close friend for a while but now that girl has made other friends who don’t actually like Sadie. Sadie makes the mistake of trying to be close to them anyway and ultimately this doesn’t work out too well. Sadie even gets involved with drugs and really starts to fall down the dark path real quick.

She’s also not very smart in being tricked by a crazy lady and tied up in an abandoned house though. Stranger danger may be a meme at some points when characters take it too far but scenarios like this are why the constant warnings are always appropriate. I could not believe that Sadie just fell for it like this. Cmon you can’t let that happen. There’s just no way. Her little sister Sawyer isn’t particularly helpful but she’s a much younger kid so I’ll cut her a bit of slack.

Also the guy that broke into the study in the first scene didn’t have much of a plan. One of the most annoying things in a film like this is when the traumatized guy tries to talk about monsters and demons while somehow expecting everyone to believe him. You gotta think a little here. Nobody is going to believe a story like that so you have to either lie and make up a believable story while getting the person you’re talking too to do what you want them to do or you just don’t mention it and try something else. Even if Will had believed him…what could he do about it? It’s not like you can just call the cops and have them find the Boogeyman. At least the lady later on had a concrete plan so there are ways to trap it but again you’d need someone to absolutely believe you and that’s not going to happen. And you clearly know that it hides in doorways so why would you walk towards one? I can’t even….

Now when it comes to the Boogeyman, he seems a bit weaker than you’d expect. In most of these horror films they tend to skew too far into the other direction where the monster is completely unstoppable so I’m not entirely opposed to this but the Boogeyman seems like he could be defeated by a single well equipped soldier. He’s not immune to fire or explosions and even bullets seem like they would be enough to put him down if you have solid rounds. Now you could make the case for a lot of vague powers for this guy since he does seem to move with incredible speed. Maybe slight teleportation or sheer invisibility but when we see him the monster seems more like a Xenomorph. Relying on physical abilities to get the job done.

Again the design is cool (When we actually see it which is very rare in the film) but it doesn’t really feel like the Boogeyman. It also seems a bit ineffectual because of how it has a hard time actually defeating its opponents. It wasn’t able to finish off Sawyer in one on one combat and had a lot of trouble with the lady in the house. Even the guy who broke into Will’s house lasted a little while when you’d think that the fight would be over in an instant. No wonder the Boogeyman only goes after kids, it would be completely doomed against full adults after a while!

The film definitely starts off with a rather brutal moment but after that it’s fairly tame. It’s definitely not as violent as the average horror title and avoids a good amount of pitfalls. We even get a climax with a surprising amount of action. Although again I’m a little skeptical here, the creature couldn’t have just finished off the 2 characters before Sadie showed up? You have to suspend a lot of disbelief for the whole climax because as cool as it looked, the power levels didn’t really add up.

Overall, I actually thought this film was fairly solid. It’s not the scariest title out there since it feels like a thriller for the most part but the characters are solid. All of the scenes at school tend to be annoying and the friends are all bad but this felt like a well crafted horror title. The ending is a bit weak since I was expecting a strong twist/cliffhanger moment to end things with a bang but I’ll take what I can get. I’d recommend checking this one out if you’re interested in seeing a modern take on the Boogeyman. Just be warned that it’s not much of a man in this one and just feels more like a classic creature.

Overall 6/10