Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

1408 Review

Posted on by
Reply


Okay now we’ve got a psychological horror that handles itself pretty well all the way through unlike the Shining. I thought 1408 was pretty solid and had a lot going on for it. It’s a pretty well balanced movie with a good story and some pretty spooky moments. It handled the idea of how can you trap someone in a hotel room pretty well and is worth the watch. The cast is very small but fortunately Mike really nails it as the main character. He’s someone who is very easy to follow the whole time.

The movie starts by introducing us to Mike who isn’t the nicest guy. He doesn’t even humor the owners of a hotel as they try to tell him how haunted it is. Instead he just dives in and makes a mockery of the whole thing. See, Mike is a writer who visits all kinds of spooky hotels and motels in order to debunk all of the horror stories surrounding them. He doesn’t believe in the supernatural one bit and takes pleasure in knocking them down. The next spot on his list is room 1408 at the Dolphin hotel. The manager Gerald begs Mike not to go into the room but Mike doesn’t care. He’s going to debunk yet another spot. Unfortunately this place seems a little more serious than the others, in fact…he’s having a hard time getting out. Has Mike finally picked a fight with an opponent that he just cannot defeat?

Mike is a jerk but that works really well for a film like this. I like when the main character is so confident in the fact that spooks don’t exist. He absolutely relishes in proving his point and the guy is mean to everybody. He’s always got a sarcastic remark at the ready and it takes a while for his confidence to fade. I think part of why this is fun is because in most cases like in real life you’d be on his side. (Not with the rudeness but at least the confidence that the hotel room isn’t haunted) The good thing about people being superstitious is that you can probably get the room at a discount usually.

So when he starts to be overpowered by the specters, well that would have happened regardless of how confident he was. So at least this way he got to have some laughs in first. The hotel room is definitely very powerful as we see it command many abilities. Full on ability to submit hallucinations, moving matter through the cosmos, impersonation, etc. How much of this is pure telepathy is hard to say but either way it isn’t going down easily. In a lot of ways you could say it’s like Mike is trapped in purgatory. He is forced to relive his most painful moments over and over and over again. That’s probably the scariest part of the whole ordeal. Not the physical pain but the fact that it may not have an end and will keep on looping forever and ever. That’s where the true despair begins to set in.

The film can get a little violent when we see images of the previous tenants but for the most part this is definitely more about the atmosphere. Like Mike being powerless to watch the hotel tell his wife to come over so that she can be trapped as well or reliving his daughter’s death. The room slowly works to just tear apart his mind bit by bit and it’s a really intense tactic. The room just physically beating him up wouldn’t be nearly as effective. It does a little bit of that too though like the window slamming on his hands or getting blasted with hot water. It’s just more of a side effect as opposed to that really being the focus here.

One thing that also adds to the film is how normal things appear at first. Like yes the room is haunted but the electrician still shows up to help Mike fix the cooling system and things like that. He’s not completely isolated the whole time but it slowly begins to get to that point more and more. By the time he realizes the danger he is in, it’s just too late. The door is impossible to break down and yeah the window is open but there is nowhere to go to. The room strategically does allow for Mike to destroy himself but that’s about it. The room continues to pressure him into taking his own life which is when he would be truly defeated.

I’ll admit that the backstory parts tend to be the least interesting though. We see the flashbacks of him and his wife and their daughter. It’s going through some emotional beats but the whole time you’re just waiting to get back into the main struggle against the room. That is absolutely where the real action is and since you already know what happened in the past, it’s not like there are any surprises left to be had there. That I would put as a slight weakness here.

The only other weakness for me would be the ending. I don’t think it was nearly as impactful as it could have been. In a lot of ways it’s surprisingly happy and the final stinger just doesn’t counter that much. What I would have personally liked more would have been for Mike to have “escaped” and the final scene is his wife asking him to close the windows. He doesn’t respond so she walks over but he’s gone and she sees the number 1408 above the door. She is now going to be the room’s next opponent. Perhaps too mean spirited but it would have been an intense ending that also works as sequel bait.

Overall, 1408 was a good movie. It succeeded in being really ominous the whole time and making things super difficult without it feeling completely hopeless. I also thought the first act with all of the build up was handled really well. I liked the owner of the Dolphin hotel who definitely did a good job of hyping the place up. He seemed to understand the rules pretty well and did everything in his power to try and dissuade Mike from staying. At the end of the day, there were just no words that could have pulled something like that off. Mike is the kind of guy who was going to attempt this challenge no matter what. With a good amount of fakeouts and creative trials, 1408 is a film that I would definitely recommend.

Overall 6/10

Final Destination 3 Review

Posted on by
Reply

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a really bad film and trust me when I say it’s reallllllly bad. At the same time, I didn’t quite think it was a 0 so we have that going for the film. It’s probably the best thing I can say about it to be honest. Like there’s really nothing good about it but I didn’t feel like it was worthy of being at the very bottom of the bucket. Small mercies and all right? Still, if you’ve made it to Final Destination 3 then I imagine you’re probably at least a slight fan of the series so maybe you’ll appreciate this one more than I did.

The film starts off with a bunch of annoying teenagers enjoying a fair and messing around. They all tend to be unlikable jerks and the kind of cliques that you’d want to avoid. If you see them coming then you need to cross the street but it’s probably too late by that point. They decide to head on a roller coaster but Wendy gets the feeling that they’re all going to die so she makes a huge scene and gets off. This starts a chain reaction of other kids getting off and the ones who stay all get destroyed. Now Wendy is feeling some survivor’s guilt and most of the other kids aren’t even grateful that she saved them. It was all coincidence and all that. The problem is that death is mad about the way they survived this and has decided to bump them off one by one. Can they find a way to stop such an all powerful being or is this going to be yet another lesson in futility?

This is a problem with a lot of supernatural slashers which is that we all know the heroes have absolutely no chance. What are you going to do against an opponent who can’t die, can’t feel pain, etc. Death is also immortal so he has all day while the main characters will eventually slip up. Death has no true weaknesses or limitations in his abilities either so yeah this is going to be a long film for the characters. It would help if Death himself actually appeared to gloat or something but he’s treated more like a natural disaster. He also seems like a troll since you could make the case that he gave Wendy the vision in the first place. Sort of like he is bored and just needs a reason to keep on murdering.

Right off the bat the film isn’t helping itself either with all the demonic imagery. Yeah it makes sense to remind the characters how evil everything is but they could have at least pretended to have a little subtlety. Then we also have to make one of the characters a total creep which is annoying. He basically exists to annoy and pester the girls. Even the main guy who we’re supposed to be sympathetic for, decides to take an inappropriate photo of one of the girls in his first scene. The film goes out of its way to make the characters super unlikable.

It’s one of those tactics I understand because then you don’t feel as bad when they are bumped off, but this backfires almost every time I would say. After all you’re now following a bunch of characters who are all just pretty bad. Also not all of them are as bad as the others so some of them feel like they are paying a price that is way too drastic. For example there are two girls who are not very smart, they shown to be rather shallow and really unaware of what’s going on but that’s hardly enough for them to get a grisly murder. You can’t put them in the same category as the perv or the guy who is always ready to pick a fight.

At the end of the day, almost all of the characters are going to get bumped off regardless. I suppose life not being fair could be just another message but it’s not one that I’m a fan of. Then you also have Wendy figuring out the death rules but it doesn’t really make much sense. At least in the first two films you had the mysterious guy throwing in a bunch of lore and helping to confirm what’s true but here she picks up on all of it with the flimsiest reasonings possible. You have a very hard time believing that she actually pieced the puzzle together like that.

For starters, the roller coaster deaths seem hard to predict the order of compared to the airplane. It would have been way harder to keep track of them all. Then conveniently there are people covering the photos at times right up until the murder happens. Again, it feels like death is just trolling the whole time which means the main characters are even more doomed than usual. Mix in how over the top violent it is and that’s a recipe for disaster. What you end up wishing for by the end is at least a few normal deaths. A relatively quick/painless death instead of it always having to be super disturbing.

Maybe have one character cheat death several times with some cool athletics or something. You can afford to lighten up the tone just a little bit instead of the films always being so somber. Even the shock ending isn’t quite as shocking as it could have been. I will say that the subway seems like a fun backdrop though so I’d be cool with that being the main setting for one of these films. Perhaps it would get old quick but I think there is some potential there. Not that this franchise as a whole has much potential though. First thing you need to do is come up with some actual likable characters. Something that can be used as a foundation to push the film forward. Throw in a real plot and definitely give Death at least the illusion of a weakness. If you do that then perhaps we can actually have an adventure.

Overall, Final Destination 3 is definitely the weakest entry in the series. It’s really just an excuse to have a bunch of characters all murdered in very grisly ways. You could say that’s always been the point but at least there was some semblance of a story stringing it all together. I would say this film barely even bothers with the pretense. The characters just keep getting bumped off and at no point in the film are you actually having any fun. It’s just all way too grim dark the whole time for any of that. Definitely stay far away from this film and you will be glad you did. You won’t be missing anything of value here.

Overall 1/10

Dune: Part 2 Review

Posted on by
Reply


After a fairly impressive start with the first reboot film, Dune fell back into its old ways with part 2 and once again tried to be the next Lord of the Rings in all of the worst ways possible. The movie is long, drawn out, and boring. It makes way too many mistakes and will lose your attention early on. Definitely give it a skip and remind yourself that the world of Dune is just not going to end up being all that great. You’re better off using the spices in your kitchen to make a good dish.

Paul has finally been accepted by the Fremen a little more at least to the point where he can be in the circle. His close friend Chani often still has to save him from the jealous murmurings of the others but it’s not like they’re going to stab him now. Still, to truly become one of them he will have to ride a sandworm and in the process he will also meet the qualifications to become their god. He wants no part of that but it’ll be difficult to prevent these guys from believing in the legends. Will this power end up corrupting him? Also, how far must he go in defending the planet. Will he need to start World War 100 and take down all of the many planets that support the regime or should he continue to play defense and watch his comrades continue to die around him as everyone dies from the spices?

As you can probably guess I am all in for going on the offensive here. The Fremen constantly play defense as more and more people attack, but to what end? The attacks will never stop and so I think you do have to actually go and attack their home planets back. The characters are worried this will escalate far too often and how many people will die but they will all go extinct otherwise. It’s basically the same moral conundrum as in Attack on Titan and my position is the same here as it is there. I’m all for peace but once the other side has decided to wipe you out, then you have to fight back as much as possible. It is the only way to survive.

So Paul’s decision here continues to be the right one but he makes so many mistakes throughout the film that it’ll have you annoyed. For one thing, he continues to listen to traditions and do what is expected of him when he shouldn’t. Whenever movies have a message of just conforming to tradition because it is the right thing to do, I end up being annoyed. Perhaps sometimes that is the right thing to do, but often times I would say it is not. You have to believe in yourself and what your intuition is telling you. In most cases, that may very well end up saving your life.

Drinking the nasty liquid to boost his powers? Yeah real bad move there. Letting his mother make the big sacrifice in order to get powers and stay alive? Also terrible. Declaring a marriage just to appease customs? Absolutely crazy! Again, one of the perks of being the chosen one is that you can set new standards. No need to follow the old stuff, just get on in there and set the new rules. With Paul’s super voice he could bring most of the opponents to their knees but unfortunately he only uses it once in a blue moon and seems to forget that he even has the ability.

Charitably I suppose you could say it’s just that it is an ability which can only be used once per day or something but yeah he’s gotta step his game up. Then we have his mother who I didn’t care for either. Again, she just needed to use her own strength but instead she becomes the leader of this super shady group and just continues on with the teachings. See a pattern here? People just do what is expected and that’s it. The only real exception here is Chani and it’s why she’s one of the better characters.

She holds Paul to task and reminds him that she will stand by his side so long as he doesn’t change. He basically doesn’t take her seriously and calls her bluff. Well, she stands by her word and has the best ending in the film. At the end of the day she refused to change just because he did and it makes for a pretty good character moment. I understand that role was divisive for fans of the book and it was pretty much the main thing I would see get talked about for Dune online but I’ll take this portrayal over the books. (Although the books do make Paul look considerably better than he did in the movie) Chani was a very loyal character but someone who still put her own convictions first.

Meanwhile the other kingdoms are comically evil so you’re never really worried about the main character going too far. We’re talking slavery, experimentation, blatant corruption, mass slaughter for no reason, etc. All of the other countries are absolutely deplorable and the villains are just crazy. Unfortunately they’re all in the insane evil camp with nothing remotely likable about them. The one who had the most potential but seduced with ridiculous ease during his own party and suspected nothing. It was such an embarrassing showing for this guy after all the tough talk.

I would say that Dune is mostly focusing on the angle that no individual has enough power to make a huge difference without following the rules. If you rely on your own strength then you will be brought down but if you allow the community to help then you can be on to something. The film is long enough where it has tons and tons of other themes as well but this seemed to be the main one to me. The main character had to make tons of concessions all the time both in terms of his own personal convictions and even in terms of military decisions. Ultimately he probably should have just forced his way to being king and used them like an army. The movie makes this diplomacy so bad that you’re rather he did just become the overlord of the world or something.

Not like there’s much hope left in this place though. With how corrupt the entire universe is, they’d all need to be bumped off for any real peace. The Spice will continue to be a hot commodity until the world has been unified or destroyed. Unless perhaps a new planet is discovered with the same element or something. There is a lot of world building here so I have to give the film that, but you’ll probably still be asleep anyway. Every shot drags on for way too long and the desert is such a boring background. You don’t want to see the sand just fading away for the 10,000th time.

The film gets violent at times just to remind the viewers that it can do this. Then we get endless monologues again. Then we’ll get some kind of twisted scene to show us how evil the king is, then more talking, etc. I love a good monologue but you can’t just talk without a plan. I should probably write an editorial on this, but substance and delivery are equally important here and I would say the film had a tendency to fail on both accounts. It ensured that this film was doomed out of the gate. I basically had issues with every part of it but the biggest sin it had was just being super boring. The characters really lacked agency and it ultimately came back to bite them each time.

Overall, Dune: Part Two overstays its welcome by a very wide margin. It makes sure to eliminate any part that you may have found interesting in the first film and just leaves you exhausted here. I still say it’s better than the original Dune movie which was absolutely dreadful but in the end it just goes to show that the base story is not very good. No matter how many times you readapt the book or try to split it up, it’s not going to succeed. Some stories just don’t have the sheer level of ability needed to become a masterpiece. The best advice I can give would be to not set your sci-fi story on a desert planet. That is setting yourself up for failure. Check out the original Legend of Zelda cartoon for a fantasy with more interesting characters running around.

Overall 2/10

I See You Review

Posted on by
Reply

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a big horror title guaranteed to chill you to the bone. At least, until the film makes the decision to basically replay the first half of the movie again and while you understand the idea for doing so…it definitely obliterates the film’s pacing up until that point. The movie is never able to regain its footing again after that.

The film starts off with a kid being kidnapped as the string of missing persons continues to grow. It’s hard to say who is behind this and so Greg is put on the case. Greg is good at finding the answers to the various mysteries in front of him but this time he is rather distracted because of some family issues going on. His wife Jackie cheated on him and so there is a lot of tension in the house and their son Connor resents her for it. Jackie just wants them to move on already but they’re not having it. Will their family drama be the issue that prevents the kidnapper from being caught?

First up, I think we have to recognize that being cheated on is not something that you just move past. It does make Jackie’s attempts feel a bit hollow here because that’s something you can never really take back. The family is ruined at that point, splitting up is really the only recourse and you hope someday to be forgiven but it’ll likely never happen. You’re just too far gone at that point. I don’t think she really does any favors for herself in hiding who the guy was either or talking about it more. It’s a bit relative since I don’t think there’s much she could have done to help the situation but it also creates a lot of ammo that can be used against her. As a result, she is ready to hide crimes as need be.

Then you have Connor who is definitely unlikable the whole time as well. He spends his whole screentime venting but it’s not like he’s coming up with any solutions or helping out. It’s fine not to get along with her anymore, but then he should just stay quiet and keep to himself. Making scenes the whole time and lashing out does him no favors. Ultimately he also handled a video game situation very badly I gotta say. I’m not expecting him to turn around or something but when you’re messaging with someone anonymously online, you never want to show that they’ve gotten the best of you. He needed to keep his cool and bluff or something. Instead he walked into every single response like an online rookie.

As for Greg, well he’s mostly handling the situation by just being super quiet at home. it’s a reasonable approach so no problems there and he is working pretty hard on the case without getting too distracted. He probably should have mentioned he was sending over a repairman to fix the window but for the most part he didn’t make any big mistakes there. Not a whole lot more to say about him in the first half here.

So you’ve got your basic plot here and you may be wondering, where’s the supernatural angle? Well I’m not sure exactly how much that angle is played up in the trailers and promotions but when watching the film that’s never really in your mind much. When the first kid is abducted you see him launched out of his bike as if by a ghost, but as this film plays itself up more as a crime thriller you’ll probably guess right away what the actual method was. You’re bound to have seen it in at least a few cases.

There are a few attempts at jump scares and such but yeah this one you could think of as more of a realistic horror the whole time about kidnapping. In some ways people would say that’s scarier anyway but I tend to be more partial to demons and such. That said, perhaps the twist is supernatural, I won’t spoil that for you. I had a lot of issues with the first half anyway like the characters being annoying and such but the second half is really where the film loses me.

We get to watch the first half all over again, but in first person view as we’re introduced to the missing pieces of the puzzle. Think of it like a mystery movie where the detective is explaining stuff, only this time you are seeing the whole thing in “real” time. It’s incredibly boring is my biggest issue. Like I said, you can piece together things pretty quickly but the film feels like it needs to smack you in the face with all the details. I think we could have just kept about 20 minutes of the reveal and cut out a ton of the fluff. You don’t need to see the true cause of every single mystery as you can infer a bunch of them as soon as the main reveal happens. If the movie had done that then it would have been good.

Part of the problem is also that the twist introduces some new characters to the film and none of them are likable. Two of these are professional criminals who engage in “Harmless” crimes but as you know, most of those tend to cause actual harm eventually. One of them is at least cautious and tries not to cause too much trouble beyond spreading germs and dirt everywhere, but isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She is easily manipulated and has no survival sense at all. You need to keep in mind that if you are ever kidnapped and somehow manage to escape your kidnapper’s den in the middle of a forest out in nowhere’s land, the last thing you want to do is start yelling into your phone for the cops to pick you up.

Why? First up, the kidnappers are more likely to hear you and track you down well before the cops show up. Additionally, if there are any wild animals you’re likely to get eaten. The cops will be able to trace your cell phone if you have enough service for a call so just keep the line open. If you feel properly secluded you can whisper into the phone and try to give them directions but you have no idea where you’re at so that’s not going to help much either. Secondly, if you see a trailer car nearby with the doors unlocked and the lights on…don’t go in there. After all, that may have been where the kidnapper was taking you anyway. The odds of it being some innocent soul who is unrelated to the incident is close to 0.

Maybe there are other kidnapped people in there and you want to play the hero? Well that’s your best argument, but it’s still a weak one. Even if you manage to untie one or two of them, they’ll likely be too malnourished and beaten to aid you in a fight. So the kidnapper will still beat you and then eventually murder everyone. Your top priority is still to escape and get some backup. If you have to, just pick a direction and start running. If you’re lucky you’ll eventually make it to someone who can help but your survival odds greatly increase anyway.

Meanwhile the guy with the camera is another annoying character. He causes a ton of trouble the whole time and appears to be completely immature and even starting to fall into the darkness. He very quickly goes down the villainous path and while he is not the ultimate antagonist, I would still say he is a villain as well. The guy has a rough backstory and all but it’s not one that excuses his final actions. He’s a big reason why the second half of the film is super annoying to get through.

I will give the film this though, the ending is pretty solid. It unironically pulls off the popular Naruto meme where he starts to talk about his childhood and the villain cuts him off. Something similar happens here and it was great. Look, if you’re confronted with a mass murderer who has been causing a bunch of trouble, the last thing you care about is his backstory. I really couldn’t care less if I was in that situation and I’d just take him out too. You don’t see it very often in movies since they want to let the villain give his backstory for the narrative and all but this is way more satisfying. Not the kind of thing that can save a film but at least it ended on a high note.

I also liked the mask that the main villain uses. It’s definitely pretty spooky while also being original. It can be a little rarer to see a hit new design nowadays so that was definitely welcome. It’s probably one of the only times when the film is having a bit of fun since the whole thing is rather bleak and dark. The backstories are dark, the kidnappings are all super dark, etc. The fact that this has been going on for so long without anybody finding anything out is also really gruesome. With the previous victims not even being able to be very helpful, it shows just how far gone they were. Again I’d say it’s definitely more tragic thriller than horror as a result.

Overall, I See You is a film that had some really ambitious ideas but they didn’t really work out. The characters needed to be way more likable to pull this off. There also has to be a better way of adapting the second half without it all feeling so old and repetitive. Maybe somehow keep cutting between the two plots and hide that they are connected until later on. It would be difficult but definitely more entertaining. I definitely have a hard time believing some parts of the film like with the timeline and nobody noticing certain things though. The film did go to great lengths to make the case on why people would be particularly not alert but I still wasn’t having it. It had some unexpected twists and was ambitious but either way I would say this one is more of a skip.

Overall 3/10

Appointment with Death Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time for the next Poirot film. I’m always up for a good mystery so I was ready to see what is going on this time. The locations feel a bit reused though as part of it is on a boat and most of it is on the dessert. We’ve already covered both locations but it is fully a new story. The actual case is less interesting than the other mysteries but I would say there is still enough to make this a pretty good movie. There is little reason to watch it over the others but if you want more Poirot content then this is the way to go.

The film starts with Emily blackmailing her family’s attorney Jefferson. Jefferson has shown her that her dead husband had a new will where she was no longer the sole beneficiary. So she tells him to burn it or she will tell the world about the super shady things he did back in the day and he will be thrown in jail. Jefferson doesn’t want to pay for his crimes so he obeys and scatters off. Emily can now rule over all of the children as they have to at least pretend to be kind to her since she now controls all of the family’s vast wealth. They all go on holiday but wouldn’t you know it, Jefferson is there. Emily has to be careful because he might have some plans up his sleeve. Additionally, Poirot is around hoping to have a good time. That will be difficult though as murderous intent fills the air. Everyone wants to murder Emily but who will get to her first?

As always with these films you have a rather massive cast. There are a whole lot of suspects everywhere and the only tricky thing is that a lot of them look quite similar. Fortunately the characters are always using their names because otherwise I’d get mixed up quickly. Most of the characters are not all that likable though. They just let themselves get pushed around way too much. The film tries to give them some excuses for this like they just don’t know what to do because they’ve been used to being ultra rich but I just don’t really buy it. That’s just not good enough as far as excuses go.

One of the worst characters here has to be Nadine who is married but still has an affair with Jefferson the whole time. She basically does it right in front of her husband Lennox the whole time just to mess with him. Not really someone you want to have as an associate and Lennox should definitely try to split from her. In the meantime, I suppose it’s tough to tell if he should try to keep on beating up on Jefferson or just ignore them since there’s not much point in trying to fight for someone who has no interest in you.

Naturally Jefferson also looks really bad for this. The guy definitely has no respect and you know the relationship will be doomed. He will eventually get bored and the same thing will happen. How you get someone is how you lose them after all. The guy was already not looking good from the start when he decided to burn the will but this meant that he just kept on getting worse and worse as the film went on. The whole thing was just corrupt.

That is often a theme of the Poirot films though. Most if not all of the characters have a lot of personal issues and shortcomings going on. He will solve the case but can’t really solve the inter family dynamics. That’s just not really possible and by the time the film ends, most of the characters aren’t even punished for this. Life will go on and they all will just return to their normal lives. Some for the better and some for the worse. It can sometimes be a little anti climactic but that’s how it goes.

Poirot isn’t some kind of hero here. He only solves the case when he’s been hired to do so or it happens right in front of him. Otherwise he really tries to stay out of it and ignore everything shady that it going on. It’s just not really any of his business and that’s how he likes to keep it. He makes for an entertaining character either way though. If anything it’s part of what separates him from the other characters the whole time.

The writing is good either way although the film underestimates the audience a little too much. I thought there were way too many flashbacks to scenes that we had just watched. It felt like the movie added these in case you forgot the moments but it’s not like this is a 5 hour epic. That felt excessive like one lady saying how she never forgets anyone. The flashbacks showing new vantage points to old shots makes sense, like the kid running and our view of what actually happened. The others were not needed.

As always with these things I do have some parts that I have to stretch my disbelief for. Keep in mind that most of this is taking place in a wide open desert. It’s not a very loud environment and everything is out in the open. So when people are being murdered and such, you would usually expect someone to notice. In this case someone got all dressed up and made a move while nobody saw the whole thing. It’s not as egregious as the boat murder from a previous film but it’s definitely something that will have you shaking your head.

As for some of the other characters, you have Raymond who is pretty annoying the whole time. He likes Sarah but keeps getting stopped by his mother. Why doesn’t he just go talk to Sarah anyway? Well, he’s lacking in confidence and she even calls him out on this. It’s such a bad look and it makes it difficult for you to believe in the romance. What would she see in him at that point? None of the romances in this film are particularly convincing but I would say this has to be the weakest one of the lot. It’s all rather fast anyway even without that going on.

Sarah is mainly a solid character but gets a bit too defensive when Poirot is interrogating her. She seems to take offense to the fact that he is calling her a suspect but detective’s rule 101 is that everyone is a suspect. So why is Sarah so upset about all of this? I thought it was rather a poor look for her. Then you have Lady Westholme who is generally upset at everyone and tries to flaunt her power a whole lot. I appreciate the confidence but she would definitely be tiring to be around after a while. She constantly creates a scene so if you’re around then you’re going to be put on the spot by association.

There are a few other characters but that’s the bulk of them. So like I said, there is a going on here with a bunch of characters running around. At times the film gives the interactions more time than the actual mystery. You could almost say the mystery works more as a backdrop at times. That’s why the writing is very important and fortunately it was handled really well so it never gets boring or anything like that. The pacing is on point.

Overall, Appointment with Death goes through all of the motions but with a little less zeal than the other films. Even though the plot is quite intricate, I think it’ll end up being rather forgettable by the end. Still, it’s a pretty good movie even despite this. At the end of the day I tend to enjoy mysteries so even if this one was a little generic and didn’t try to break away from the others, it held my attention. I would say that generally speaking there aren’t a ton of big budget mystery films compared to other genres so you really want to enjoy the ones that you do get. You don’t know how long they’ll be around.

Overall 7/10

Baffled! Review

Posted on by
Reply


Films that involve time travel tend to be the best but films that have some kind of look into the future can also be pretty solid. It’s an ability that can be useful but I imagine in most cases it will just be annoying. After all you generally don’t know how far into the future the visions are and depending on the circumstances, it can be difficult to prove what you know. It’s an ability that you definitely have to navigate carefully and this movie does a good job of keeping things interesting. It’s a bit of a slow burn but with solid enough writing to get you through.

The film starts by introducing us to Tom who is one of the world’s greatest racecar drivers. Unfortunately he crashes out during the race because he started to see some rather odd visions. A lady yelling out some kind of address, a mysterious house, and the ocean. It was all quite bizarre but he is ready to get back into the races. At least he was hoping to do that but a lady named Michelle shows up and it turns out that his visions weren’t just random hallucinations. Something is about to go down in that house/mansion and now he has a duty to help out. So the two decide to form an alliance and head there while pretending not to know each other.

At the mansion, a lady and her daughter have just arrived because her old husband has been writing her. For a long time he was rather cold and distant but over the last few months the letters have really changed. Perhaps they can finally be a family again. Oddly enough, he isn’t there when she arrives. Instead there is just the old lady in a wheelchair who assumes he’ll be coming home soon, an odd couple that may be into drug dealing, and a rather creepy lady who always has a lot of makeup on. It’s a rather colorful bunch you might say. Is this all some kind of elusive trap and can Tom save them all?

In part I would say this plays out as a mystery since Tom is trying to find clues in order to figure out the true meaning of his visions before they come to pass. In other ways it plays out like a classic horror flick with jump scares and all of these creepy characters running around. It’s unlikely you will be scared at any point though with the happy music playing in the background. I could definitely see this being a pretty fun show because the dynamic with the main two is solid enough to carry most of the interactions. Then you’d have different issues in each episode.

Tom’s ability is also just weak enough where it is perfect to keep things from being too easy. For example at one point he sees a leaf, then later on he sees the leaf is leaking, and finally it turns out that it is being poured into a cup so somebody is about to be poisoned. It takes him a while to figure this out and ultimately the knowledge isn’t really able to help much as it’s one mystery he couldn’t solve in time. I figure this will be the case in many instances because the visions are just too vague and not always actionable. Still, he’s ready for the main mystery but he needs a lot of plot armor for it.

For example, at one point he hears someone calling for help so he chases the voice all the way down to the coast where he ends up falling into the ocean and nearly dying. Considering that he had just told Michelle he would be careful, it was definitely not the best decision. He lets his guard down a whole lot considering that he knows something foul is going on here. At least he does show up for the final fight of the film. The battle is actually rather good with a lot of back and forth. I was not expecting a big battle there so that was really a surprise. Definitely an excellent way to end things off.

Meanwhile Michelle gets a lot of credit here because she was super helpful. For starters she is the one who was pro active enough to go after Tom early on and then she did a lot of info gathering during the movie. She felt like a side kick who was truly carrying her own weight and not just being there in awe the whole time. She would also give Tom tips on how to use his abilities which was helpful more than once. It’s another reason why the duo work well together, they each have a part to play and handle their roles well.

As for the characters in this case, I felt the two suspicious people who kept driving off to town were mainly pointless. The big reveal of what they were actually doing is a bit underwhelming. It is fun to see the suspects gradually be taken off the case of course but they definitely could have been a little more relevant. Even the butcher character got more to do than these guys. That guy was also ready to hit Tom over the head with a wine bottle and seriously injure him so even with any twists I can’t exactly call him a good guy.

The daughter is the worst character in the film as she falls for the tricks way too easily. Yes, you have some magical mumbo jumbo going on with the amulet but before even putting that on she was already being naive and meeting with strangers. I don’t care who the guy said he was, you don’t go off by yourself and you definitely run home as soon as anything suspicious happens. Most of the film wouldn’t happen if she wasn’t tricked so easily.

Her mother also looks rather bad the whole time. She lets things get out of control way too easily and doesn’t take things as seriously as she should. The daughter’s 180 personality change is so drastic that it should raise every red flag in the book. I wanted her to do something serious about it. Finally the climax was her worst look as one of the villains basically tells her to sign a document that she is giving away her daughter. Instead of jumping into a rage and hitting anything that moves, the mom just yells “nooooo” and stuff like that. I understand that this is a fight that she couldn’t win, but there is nothing to lose at this point. You try to fight and do your best.

So the characters don’t always make the best decisions here but I did think the film was engaging. It has a bit of an older charm to it as this feels like one of those old school shows. It balances out all of the tones pretty well but at its heart it’s a pretty fun film that knows when to throw in a few jokes without going overboard. It’s got perfect balance all the way through.

Overall, I can recommend this to just about anyone because it feels like the kind of film that can appeal to most groups. It’s got a little bit of everything here and has a satisfying ending. The cliffhanger definitely gets you ready for that hypothetical sequel. The fact that this would have been semi plot based with fighting the same group would have been really cool. Ultimately this will probably always be a more obscure film but it definitely had some real quality to back it up.

Overall 7/10

Angel Face Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time for one of those films that has quite a few messy dynamics in it. The main character is certainly not someone that you can root for and in noir titles that is often the case. The real trick is to make the film enjoyable in spite of the protagonist being someone you are rooting against. Fortunately the film is able to pull this off and so that’s why I would say this is a good title. It has a lot of suspense and of course it never hurts to throw in a courtroom scene. I always enjoy seeing those.

The film starts off by introducing us to Frank who is a pretty good ambulance driver. He has bigger dreams but right now this is where he’s at. He has a girlfriend who works with him named Mary but Frank is still not satisfied and as always he heads out to get super drunk and throw a pity party. He happens to see a girl named Diane there who he previously met on a routine house call. Surely this is coincidence that she is at this bar now too right? She doesn’t even need to ask him to lie to his girlfriend because Frank does this right out of the gate. He is intrigued by this mysterious lady and is immediately ready to throw everything away for her. This may be more true than even he suspects as Frank is now thrown into an absolute whirlwind of scandal and controversy. He may live to regret his decision.

So there’s really no reason to feel bad for Frank here. He opened the door to have an affair with Diane right from the start. There was no reason to lie to Mary while he was at the diner and messing around. In fact, since he and Mary clearly had plans, he shouldn’t have been wasting away at the diner in the first place. He should have been getting ready to go home and have a good time with her. The fact that he didn’t shows just how much he took her for granted right from the start. Yeah I was definitely rooting against this guy from the start. Honestly even if it had been a much longer seduction I wouldn’t have had any sympathy for the guy but he really didn’t seem to have any respect for Mary.

Meanwhile Mary was a much better character. I was glad that she was able to see through Diane’s little deceptions and call her out right from the start. Now that was a good scene and Mary also made the right call in not chasing after Frank. Honestly if you find out that your boyfriend is basically getting ready to cheat or has already done so, then it’s just time to cut him out. Now Mary allowing Frank’s friend to be the rebound guy is a bit much though. It feels like this other guy was way too desperate to be with her the whole time. It doesn’t quite sit right with me as Mary is basically settling and this guy doesn’t mind being the second choice. It doesn’t exactly make either of them look all that good.

Finally with Diane, she makes for a reasonable antagonist. She’s clearly a character who is used to getting what she wants. When she doesn’t, heads begin to roll. There is really nothing that would be considered as going too far for her. She’s just going to keep on plunging ahead and it’s also why you don’t feel bad for her either. I wasn’t sympathetic to nearly any character in this film because they all looked bad in one way or the other. I would say my favorite character was her attorney in the end as he was the only one not letting things get personal and he was just ready to cash in his check. Yeah none of those Noir scandals for this guy.

The ending to the film is definitely satisfying after everything that happened. As always Frank looks like an absolute chump but it makes sense. He’s really not ready for what’s going on and I don’t think that he ever will be. This guy lets his guard down constantly and that’s why he’s always getting himself into traps. Then of course we had the long courtroom scene which was really good. It was fun seeing the case being laid out and both sides trying to corner the other. It’s why I always tend to enjoy court scenes in any movie. They’re just well written and this one was no exception. Due in part to the film’s short run time there is also not a whole lot of downtime here. Something’s always happening and you’re never bored.

I guess at most you are typically waiting for the romance scenes to end since you are rooting against it anyway. You know that the whole thing isn’t very organic and can’t possibly end in a positive way. So you’re waiting for the next big event to happen to the characters and the story really doesn’t disappoint you there. Typically I am always an advocate for a film being as long as possible and I still standby the fact that any good film will be even better if it’s longer but I can always appreciate a short title as well. This one had solid pacing throughout so the length worked out well.

Overall, Angel Face is a pretty fun movie. It’s got a good story to it that keeps your attention the whole time and a climax that is quite fitting for the characters. Now you may be wondering how a film filled with so many tragic events could be fun but it’s because you need to think of every character as an antagonist. Then it all works really well. If anything I’d have been upset if the characters escaped this with an outright happy ending because it would not have felt deserved at all. This was the only ending that really fit for such a film and I can definitely recommend this one to anyone looking for a quick title to check out. The runtime is not very long after all.

Overall 7/10

The Mark of Zorro (1974) Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time for another Zorro film, the masked hero gets to ride once again! In this case I’m moving backwards a little bit here as I’m used to the newer version. This one still manages to hit all of the right notes though. It’s a pretty fun film overall and while I would not call it the definitive Zorro film, I didn’t really have any big issues with it either. I would say it accomplishes the goals that it set out to do and ultimately makes for a movie that I could basically recommend to anyone. The short run time also means that it always has a very fast pace going on.

The film starts off with Zorro leaving the swordsman academy because he has been receiving some distressing letters about his home. So he heads off to see what’s going on, although I’m not sure exactly who sent those letters or what they were really about. When he gets there, he’s shocked to hear about what people are saying about his father and seems to have no clue on the current state of affairs. So I was a little puzzled by this but either way at least it got him to go on the move. When he sees how the whole area is being overrun by powerfully corrupt officials, he decides to put a stop to this. When in costume as Zorro, he punishes the bullies and shows the weak that they have a chance. When in his human form, he sows discord among the villains and plays up his wimpy personality. It’s the ultimate dual identity.

I always like to see Zorro in his human form because he does a really good job of making sure that absolutely nobody likes him. Well, I suppose the exception would be Quintero’s wife but everyone else finds him just utterly repulsive. The villains don’t take him seriously and his father is supremely disappointed. It definitely goes a long way to showing just how good his acting skills are. It also can’t be easy for Zorro to purposefully be looking this bad but he does this for the long game.

Ultimately his plan is super successful. I’d even go so far as to say it runs so smoothly that you are waiting for something bad to happen. I suppose the priest Zorro was hiding the money with gets beaten up but otherwise the plan pretty much goes without a hitch. Zorro also dispatches the fighter Esteban with relative ease in this one. The guy may have been a fighter but he was definitely not in Zorro’s league. Zorro taking on an entire army and winning with these guerilla tactics is definitely impressive. The movie really gets the tone right for this kind of classic adventure so it’s easy to have a lot of fun with the whole thing. You understand the high stakes from the start but the movie is mostly concerned with having a lot of fun.

A great number of the scenes in this film have something ready to give you a smile after all. The writing is also really good. The script is on point with all of the fun dialogue and veiled threats. It’s the kind of writing that can be hard to match in a future title for the most part but Zorro has really proven to be pretty much timeless so far. His films just do a good job of adapting to the era, or in this case it didn’t even need to adapt as the same story still works pretty well.

I will say Zorro’s father also looks really good here. He may be older but he still jumps in to help his fellow people when things get dire. You understand his disdain for his son since that is the whole point of the ruse. If there was no twist, then of course he would be right to be upset. In the final fights we even see the father take down a few of the enemies so the guy has still got it.

As for the heroine Teresa, I don’t think she gets quite as much to do as in the other films but she still does defend Zorro at the dinner table. That always takes a certain amount of guts and showing up at the end to recruit the heroes was good. She’s at least a good character even though she was always around the main villains. Her mother is not nearly as good though as she’s actively trying to cheat on her husband with whichever guy is around. Definitely not the real loyal type, I can safely say that.

The romance in the film can definitely be a bit on the rushed side though. I don’t think the movie really had any time for that considering that the main plot already needed a good amount of the runtime to cook so if I was the writer I would have cut that out entirely. I suppose with this being planned to turn into a show then you would have had more time but then you could have used those episodes to really build up the plot. At least it’s not like it’s that bad, it just feels out of place since Zorro needs to focus on saving everybody and overthrowing the dictators. That has to be his only real concern. The ending definitely goes in fast to the point where I was thinking the recording was about to cut off but this way you can really say that Zorro was fighting right up to the end.

Overall, The Mark of Zorro is a pretty fun film. It really does fly on by but it never drags on at any point. You are guaranteed to be having a ton of fun throughout and at the end of the day that’s the important thing. I would say he is significantly more interesting than all of his rivals like the Green Hornet for now. Of course all it takes is a really solid film to change that but it’s not as easy as Zorro makes it look. When you try too hard to make a film funny it can backfire and just make you roll your eyes. So you have to handle it carefully and this is easily one of the big titles I would use to show people how to make an effective action/comedy title. Regardless this is a film that I can easily recommend to anyone looking for a fun adventure.

Overall 7/10

They All Laughed Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time for one of those films that is just hard to watch with how bad everyone is. The writing is not particularly good and all of the characters are downright awful. Mix that in with the fact that the film is fairly long and you have a recipe for disaster. It’s the kind of film that makes you shake your head the whole time because it had no idea what it was doing. This was an absolute mistake of massive proportions. Very unfortunate stuff.

Okay so the film is about a detective agency where they spy on women to find out if they are having affairs or not. There are 3 main field agents here and they each have different talents. They have two ongoing missions right now so they have to keep running around the city to keep track of both women. The problem is that these guys have the willpower of a baked potato and they are no strangers to having loads of affairs as well. With everyone in the city hopping from one person to the next, this is about to get complicated.

The movie plays out like a crazy delusion that someone who is jaded with big city life might have. Someone who figures that in the city, people are hopping from relationship to relationship the way one might might go pizza hopping from place to place. Nobody is trust worthy and they’re all messing round behind each other’s backs yet they also gossip with everyone. So as a result it’s all real convoluted but the simple part is seeing just how bad everyone is. Even the end of the movie has some twisted morals going on.

So right from the gate I can tell you this is an awful film. It will have the occasional funny moment but almost all of its attempts at humor just end up falling flat. Makes me shake my head just thinking about it. For example, Charles is the main character here and you’re supposed to in part feel bad for him when everything’s going badly. He’s constantly in tricky situations but since he’s such a bad guy you’re just rooting against him instead. Instead of the scenes being funny, you’re hoping that he does get hit by the car, that he does get caught so the girl will run off, etc.

Lets take a step back here, cheating is and always has been one of the greatest taboos. For the average person it should typically rank in the top 5, only losing to the most disturbing and evil of crimes. In any situation where there is cheating going on, the person most at fault is the one who is married since that person is the one who made the vow. Closely behind is the other party for still weakening the married person in order to have the affair. The only exception is naturally if that person was deceived into thinking they’re having fun with someone who is single.

So in the main relationship, Charles is less at fault than Dolores but it’s by a very negligible amount. You can tell that there is no loyalty here from either side. Once they are together, Dolores will cheat on him with the next guy and he’ll cheat with her on someone else. That’s just how the cycle is. Especially since Charles is easy to boss around like the singer who had her way with him. This guy can never appreciate the moment and is always looking beyond. It’s easy to see why things have never gone well for him.

Then you have Arthur who has the most confidence but as a result he’s been with the most ladies. He just flies on through all of them and never stops. Definitely not someone that you would want to even be friends with since he would be such a bad example. Fortunately for him, nobody in the city really cares and they all run to be the next in line to be chumped. Sure they get upset afterwards but it’s too late.

Then you have John who falls for Angela during his assignment. It’s basically just like with Charles. He’s only making matters worse and putting his feelings ahead of the mission. Things don’t go very well as you’d expect and the only outcome is that they are both super tainted now. It’s all just a real messy affair and again it makes the big problem here the fact that nobody is likable. Everyone has their moments and all they succeed in doing is dragging the other characters down with them.

In general it’s probably going to be hard to really make any good films about a group that tests out if a husband/wife is cheating. In most cases it’s probably going to happen where the main character falls for one of them. That’s just the easiest way to make a long dramatic story about the subject. After all you’re likely going to need some kind of conflict and peacefully finding out that cheating is or is not going on is a harder story to tell. I’d like to see a writer try and do this justice but it feels like a longshot.

It would have been nice to have at least had one character stay strong but that never happens. Even the cab driver gets involved as well as the secretary. Yeah these are all the kinds of characters where if you saw them on the street you’d want to go the opposite way. No matter how much you may want to think that you are the exception and this time the relationship is real, it’s not. So don’t even fall for that! It’s a massive trap, the trap of all traps you could say. Even within the movie the characters are starting to think this is legit by the end but we all know the truth. It is absolutely game over instead. Hey that’s just how it goes sometimes.

Overall, Like I said this is a tough film to watch because you’re basically just watching a bunch of antagonists messing with each other the whole time. The writing itself is also super suspect at best. The characters have a awkward way of talking where they have to constantly use full names or last names instead of the first one. One character in particular does this as her quirk and then other characters like John talk exclusively in 2 word mini sentences. You wonder why the characters are all so annoying before you stop caring. At the end of the day this is the kind of drama film that goes for a lot of cheap low hanging fruit to try and keep you interested but fails in the attempt. You could find better drama films in the 1 dollar aisle at Blockbuster.

Overall 2/10

Escape from L.A. Review

Posted on by
Reply

This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for the big sequel to the New York film. This one ends up falling into the trap of basically copying most of the story beats but not being able to do them as well as the first film. The only advantage I would probably give this film is the ending which was definitely real fun. Beyond that, this is still a good movie and so if you liked the original you will want to check it out as well. It just isn’t able to escape the shadow of the first movie.

The film starts with a massive Earthquake separating Los Angeles from the rest of the United States. A presidential candidate predicted this would happen and so he got enough momentum to become the president. He quickly changes the country into a dictatorship and has absolute power. All people who break the laws or engage in taboos are deported to LA. America is now only a place for the virtuous. Unfortunately for him, the president’s daughter Utopia ended ends up hijacking the plane and crash landing in L.A. They’d leave her for dead but if she isn’t found quickly, a failsafe will activate that will activate the USA’s secret weapon and doom the country. They are forced to send in Snake one more time. Can he really save the day like last time?

You might be wondering, why would he possibly accept the mission again. Wasn’t he supposed to have a full pardon anyway? Well, a new president means new rules so he is back to square 1. Additionally they’ve put a virus inside of him so Snake has to save the day or die. He doesn’t exactly have a whole lot of way to say no to this. Snake tries some things like shooting the people who gave him the mission but of course they loaded the gun with blanks. So Snake has to really just fend for himself as always. He has to check a bigger area with less time than the first film so you can tell they are trying to dial up the stakes as much as possible.

Where the film does well is in keeping the Snake hype. He still looks strong and resourceful as always. You can’t really keep the guy down and I like his confidence. Snake probably dispatches people with even greater ease than normal here like when he used his gun on someone who had a knife. The film enjoyed throwing in some humor here and there to balance things out. The fights are fun and the landscape is pretty good. I don’t think it’s nearly as scenic as the destroyed New York from the first film though.

Now the humor can be a mixed bag at times. I don’t think the film is always as funny as it thinks it is. Snake messing everyone over can always be solid of course. I liked him just overwhelming opponents as he lets out the occasional one liner. The random surfing scene with this guy as Snake caught up to the villain was a bit more on the nose. I can appreciate the absurdity of it all but it still wasn’t exactly the film’s best moment. It just didn’t make much sense.

Then the film also starts to weaken the president a little too much by the end. I like the idea of a President who is super corrupt but talks a tough game the whole time. This guy was completely insane and that’s what makes him dangerous but by the end of the film, it was trying to show him as more of a low confidence individual who backs down when the going gets tough. I don’t know how the army could talk so tough to him the whole time. I would have preferred he stay in control the whole time until the end and then catches the L. Making him into more of a comedic figure by the end felt like it weakened the inevitable confrontation.

Still, the movie’s ending was really solid like I mentioned before. It makes sense as a way for Snake to really get the drop on everyone. It was also a good call back to the way the villains messed with him early on. Snake never forgets after all and he managed to stay a few steps ahead the whole time. It’s good that he was a solid lead character though because otherwise the cast was rather weak here. For starters we have Utopia as the president’s daughter who seems incredibly naive. She fell in love with a terrorist who would visit her during her VR dreams.

It’s just hard to see how she could possibly fall for this. You should already have so many red flags popping up when some guy shows up and allowing herself to be brainwashed so thoroughly is rough. By the time she finally starts to come around, it’s just way too late. The main villain Cuevo isn’t much better. He gets tricked a lot and his only impressive moment is when he took down Snake early on. Beyond that, he should have taken out his right hand man Eddie a lot sooner to have kept himself safe. Letting that guy stick around really came back to bite him.

Speaking of Eddie, he’s one of those villains who is pretty annoying the whole time. He is an opportunist so he goes with whoever has the best chance of winning. Don’t mistake his actions near the end for him being a hero, he’s just doing what he always does there. The supporting cast was definitely not doing anything to enhance the movie, I can tell you that much. So Snake had to carry it all alone and while he does pull this off, it’s another reason why it can’t match the first film.

This film isn’t super violent/disturbing for the most part but the plastic surgery place was definitely the most intense. It definitely shows you a rather grim look at what the future could be like if people get too hooked on the stuff. Of course the characters who live there are too brainwashed to do anything about this. There’s one girl who tries to convince Snake that it’s actually not so bad and in a way they are the true free people. Her words are punctuated by a quick gun shot that finishes her off. I dare say that was one of the funnier scenes in the film as they tried to show just how delusional she was.

Overall, Escape from L.A. is a good movie. It definitely could have been better though with a stronger script and a better cast. With the blend of serious moments and comedic type shots they also could have hit a better balance. By the end of the film you start to think that the crazy president may have had a good point. We don’t actually see any innocent people in L.A. as they all seem like total criminals. Yeah maybe the good ones were taken out early but America seems to be in a good spot. There probably should have been a little screentime to show the downsides of this policy of kicking out all the criminals or something like that.

Overall 6/10