Tag Archives: Disaster Film

Armageddon Review

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It’s time for another Michael Bay film. This one is a disaster film so you can bet that there are a lot of opportunities for explosions. Like most action blockbusters that are over 2 hours, the film starts to fade by the end despite a reasonable start. Still, that’s not the area to blame in this case. It’s the characters and the writing that really keep the film down. It’s not like you’d expect too much ever since the Transformers series went public and people found out about the writing quality but you still always hope for the best when starting the film. Ah well, at least the explosions will keep you guessing.

The film starts off in NYC as a guy is trying to walk his dog while insulting everybody. The Dog attacks a guy’s Godzilla collection and starts to rough the Kaiju up. This leads to a confrontation between the man and the owner of the dog, but the man is blown up by a meteor. Not gonna lie, that scene was pretty hype since it’s just not something you’d expect in a film that isn’t about aliens and super powers. We learn that these shards are hitting various places on the planet because a big meteor is coming that will destroy the world. The government is forced to call in a team of drillers so they can teach them how to be astronauts and send them to the meteor where they will drill inside of it, drop the nuclear bombs, and get out of there. This can’t go wrong!

I remember reading way back in the day about how one of the main actors asked Michael Bay if it would be simpler to just teach the Astronauts how to drill than the other way around. The response he got was a very direct No. Still, I have to agree with the sentiment since it doesn’t seem like the drilling is all that hard. I mean…it’s just drilling right? Not to trivialize it or anything, but they had 2 weeks to prep anyway. Instead the drillers use that 2 weeks to mess around and go to clubs. Not the most productive way to go about things and I can see why the army lost their patience with them. The fate of the world is at stake and they still can’t get serious.

We actually get a Suicide Squad esque montage where we meet all of the characters. Naturally the very first member we see is trying to evade the cops and does a pretty good job of it. They have 2 copters after him and a dozen cars, but he’s still escaping. Another one is on his horse…riding away from th cops. Another one’s in a shady bar and you get the idea. These are the best of the best, but they’re all criminals so can they really be trusted with matters of National Security? They’re not doing this out of the goodness of their hearts either as they want to stop paying taxes and be able to visit the White House as part of their terms. I’m assuming they won’t get these rewards or at least hopefully not. Honestly, I’d at least want a big chunk of money as payment for saving the world though. That seems pretty fair if you ask me.

The first bit of the movie is actually really solid. We get to see inside of the government base as they all talk a good game and posture quite a bit. The dialogue is witty but not over the top and exaggerated. The characters are tough and rough without being annoying. These guys are professionals and act the part. We also get some nice destruction scenes in New York as we see people falling to their doom when buildings break and it may have even looked more impressive here than in Batman V Superman which is saying something. The film really only breaks down the instant we meet the main characters. That’s when you know that trouble is on the horizon.

We go to a drilling boat where Harry, the lead driller is playing golf. His team has been polluting the ocean for years under the cover of corporate business and he is casually hitting protesters on the head with his golf balls. Then he realizes that his subordinate AJ isn’t around and unfortunately he has been fooling around with Harry’s daughter. This is a very sad way to introduce these two characters, but it’s unfortunately not unexpected. AJ quickly runs out of there while Harry grabs his shotgun and tries to shoot him. It’s a very surreal scene as Harry runs around the ship shooting holes everywhere and sabotaging millions of dollars in the process. All that and he only gets a grazing shot on AJ’s leg. Naturally there are quite a bit of tensions between them now but they’ll have to team up if they want to save the world. AJ is clearly not going to stop going after Harry’s daughter so now Harry will have to either accept it or cut AJ’s air supply once they hit space. He’ll have some pondering to do.

Michael Bay films always suffer from 3 major problems. A nonsensical plot filled with many holes and characters making bad choices, terrible writing where every character has a potty mouth, and going for a lot of fanservice scenes that do nothing to add to the plot and are just there to doom the movie. While we mostly avoid the second option the others are still around for the duration of the movie. We didn’t need to have another scene that takes place in a shady strip bar where the characters prove that they are using their money in the worst way possible. One guy borrows millions of dollars just so that he can stay there for a full day before likely going off to die and that way he won’t have to repay the money. He also goes crazy in space and tries to murder everyone, but the characters wave that to the side and don’t mention it to the people on Earth. Now this crazy attempted murdered will be on the loose until he cracks again. That’s not cool.

The plot between Harry and his daughter Grace also isn’t handled well at all. You can definitely see why he’s upset since she’s been hiding her relationship with AJ for 5 months. I don’t know how though since they have so many public displays of affection that Harry must be really dense. Even when it’s mission time and AJ has to go we have to waste 5 minutes as he goes through an entire song in slow motion with large breaks between the lyrics. If you want a good example of a bad romance, this is it. It’s absolutely terrible and considering that the whole team has no sense of morality I’d want Grace off the ship if I was Harry as well. Every time one of the team comments about Grace’s looks you want Harry to grab the shotgun again.

Naturally this doesn’t make me like AJ any better as well. He’s willing to sacrifice the mission just to show off and never gets me to change my opinion of him. At least Harry was usually a good character and he’s the only member of the team that was actually decent. He makes the tough calls when necessary and is also the only one who seems to want to save the world. He has no demands upon doing it, he’ll just save the world to save his family. It’s a shame that the whole crew couldn’t be like Harry.

As for the plot getting a little iffy, why on Earth would the government try to blow up the bombs early when the characters still had time? They know that blowing up the bombs at that point would do nothing to stop the meteor from heading their way so it’s a waste of time. It would also blow up the only people who even gave them a chance at saving the world. It was only added into the movie to be used as pure drama and that’s why you should never do something purely for the rule of cool. You have to keep the plot in mind at all times. The film also seemed to want to stretch itself out for no reason like when the heroes stop at a convenient Russian rest station in space. Okay…then the place starts to blow up so they head back to the ship. This entire scene was completely filler and adds nothing to the movie. It’s just there for more explosions I guess, but it’s a rather long detour from the main plot.

The scenes in space also just aren’t as fun as the ones on Earth. Everyone starts to blend together since they’re wearing the costumes and all of the scenes start to look the same. It’s just more and more space with nothing really happening. They finally get the drill going and leave, but the final act is a little on the slow side. The first act wasn’t good since the main characters were so bad, but at least it was fun. You can’t really say that about the end. The humor is pretty hit and miss as you’d expect. Some jokes are really good and others are quite forced. Attempts were made though so I’ll at least give it credit there.

Overall, Armageddon is one of those films with a great concept and a poor execution. The film shows glimpses of greatness such as all of the scenes without the main character. The film is solid up until the first scene where AJ appears, gets good again from the point where Harry leaves for the base and gets debriefed. It sinks again when we get the montage of the other characters and just doesn’t rise up from there. It’s a fun film and the pacing is good for half of it, but there are simply too many negatives to recommend this film. I’ll give it some kudos for keeping the dog alive in the first scene though. I was ready to hit the panic button but the film kept its class there. If you want a lot of explosions and really annoying characters then this is the perfect film fr you. If you want a hype action film with better characters then I would recommend Batman V Superman instead. That one will be right up your alley.

Overall 5/10

Beyond The Poseidon Adventure Review

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I saw the original Poseidon Adventure not too long ago. It played out as you would have expected from a disaster film. One by one, the characters all went down until the ending finally came for the lucky survivors. It was decently good, but dragged o n a bit. The sequel has a very similar plot that also goes for around 2 hours so it’s safe to say that I expected it to drag on a little as well. I can also see why it got bad reviews since it is like you are seeing the same film twice. That being said, it was a decent film.

After the Poseidon adventure, a boat happens to come across it. The Captain is none other than Mike Turner. Along with Wilbur and Celeste, he decides to go into the boat and try to grab as much treasure and riches as possible. After all, the boat was carrying a lot of rich people aboard so there is a lot of money to be found. The dangers are also present as it could go under at any point and trap the main characters. This is a risk that Mike is willing to take as he is in a very tricky financial situation at the moment. A few doctors also arrive and decide to join Mike. Will the group be able to get rich and find some survivors along the way as well? Time to find out!

The premise is definitely a little out there as it is hard to see someone actually jumping into a boat that is already mostly underwater. Also, it really looked like the boat was not going to stay up based on the first film. I have to wonder if there were any fans of the first film who decided to really take a look at how it was presented in the second film. It’s just hard to believe that there are still so many rooms that are not filled by water yet. In the first film, the heroes were constantly trapped and forced to take other routes. Is this really the same Poseidon? Many areas just seem to be completely different, but I was watching as a casual viewer and can’t say for sure whether or not anything had changed. I can just imagine that there must be a lot of plot holes to be found.

A lot of people actually ended up surviving as well. It felt like Mike and the others managed to find a new survivor in every room that they came across. It’s cool that more people got to make it out of the ship alive, but it also meant that more fatalities would be present in the film. One character actually says “Finish her” as a reference to the old (and new) Mortal Kombat games. That’s the perfect way to also mention that there are villains this time. A group of felons want to take away some chemical weapons as well as the traditional ones from the ship. They’ll shoot anyone who gets in their way.

That’s another part that can be a little hard to buy at times. While it is really easy for the villains to find the weapons, I don’t have a problem with that. The ending is more dicey as the villains leave the boat and then find a way to easily get to the weapons from outside and start to bring them all up. I don’t think that it was so easy to reach the weapons and bringing them all outside would certainly take some time. As you can see, I just found many parts of this film to be a little unbelievable, but I suppose that it helps the nostalgia value. In modern films, every part of the script and background is typically looked at by so many people that it’s hard to spot any big errors or leaps in logic anymore. For example, an old cartoon may have some scenes where a character’s costume loses its colors, but you probably wouldn’t see that in a modern one. I kind of miss those errors as they help the film age well 50 years from now as you can witness the errors and smile.

This film mainly suffers from an area that hurt the first film. It tends to drag on after a while. Most of the film is just the crew trying to escape the ship so they go deeper and deeper into the boat before finally starting to get out. You could spend a good 10 minutes or more watching the heroes try to go up a single ladder. What makes this even less exciting is the fact that you already saw them do this in the last film. You’re almost literally watching them do the exact same things again. We have the underwater ladder push that happened in the first film as well and most of the ladder scenes are similar as well. The director should have definitely tried to speed things along a bit here by having the heroes just climb up faster or not showing us every little detail.

Finally, I also think that the film overestimates how much effort it takes to climb a ladder. It’s incredibly easy to do so, but all of the characters act as if they’re lifting weights while going up. The only person who should have had a tough time was the person with a dislocated arm or the blind man, but even then it should have been a little easier. You only need your arms for balance while on the ladder and even then, one arm is good enough. Your legs are doing all of the work. I don’t see what the big deal was about. Mike also looked bad as the lady fell and took him with her. He should have easily been able to keep them both on the ladder since he was prepared for her to possibly fall down. It was definitely not his best moment.

As for the cast, we had a pretty colorful one. The film was trying to have a similar dynamic between the main character and rival as the last one so there is a guy here who is constantly arguing with Mike. Again, the film is just trying to copy the first one as with the plot and scenes instead of coming up with something different. The Texas drunk was one of the more likable characters, but most of the others were just all right or not that good. I was never a big fan of Wilbur and Mike was too interested in the money to really be all that great. At least he did care about saving everyone though. The blind guy wasn’t bad and neither was his wife, but they also didn’t add anything to the film. The doctors showed their true colors and the lady with the high heels got a decent action scene, but she really didn’t think her actions through very carefully. Celeste was just very odd throughout the film as she was always rambling on about something. Still, the cast could have been worse as none of the characters were actually terrible or very bad. Most of them just weren’t that good either.

Overall, I still wouldn’t call this a bad film at all. It was just too busy trying to be a complete copy of the first adventure that it didn’t try anything new. I can see why it got bad reviews as it may as well have been a reboot of the first title. It dragged on at times and the characters weren’t great. There were some action scenes as well like gun fights and someone grabbed an axe as well. (The axe scene definitely came out of nowhere) The dialogue can be good at times, but also not very good in other moments so the film didn’t stand out there. As you can see, the film wasn’t exactly great in any area, but for the most part, it wasn’t bad in any either. It’s a slightly under average film, but it still holds up just well enough to keep it from getting a negative rating. It’s still impressive that one of the characters managed to keep hold of his wine bottle for almost the whole film. He definitely lasted! I’d almost say that I recommend this film more if you haven’t seen the first one. If you liked the first one a lot then it’s still a good bet to say that you’ll like this one. If you weren’t crazy about the first title, then you should definitely skip this one as it is not quite as good in just about every way. It’s still a decent adventure though and it’ll be interesting to see how is fares against the reboot.

Overall 5/10

The Poseidon Adventure Review

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It’s been a while since I checked out a disaster film so it’s time to see what happens when a ship comes face to face with a large tidal wave. It’s safe to say that this is a battle where only one side can win and it’s likely not going to be the boat! The film had a pretty good set up, but unfortunately relied a little too heavily on the tragedy elements, which ended up hurting it in the long run.

A lot of characters are enjoying themselves on the boat. As this film has a large cast, we get around 6 or more perspectives from the ship and none of them suspect that this will not be a simple voyage. The ship is ordered to go full speed ahead to meet a deadline and that’s when the Captain notices the large wave coming in. He orders everyone to hold on as the ship flips over entirely. Now that the boat is upside down, the heroes are going to need to head up to the bottom of the ship to escape. Can they really survive against the waves for long or will they all be picked off one by one? With a Detective and a Reverend leading the way, the gang may have the skills needed to survive!

For disaster films, I always like the intros a lot because we get to meet all of the characters. They typically have interesting plots going for themselves and that happens here as well. I don’t think I would say that the characters are likable during the intro, but interesting nonetheless. I was a little sad when the captain got hit by the wave during the beginning because he was certainly one of the more enjoyable characters. Ah well, you do have to expect a high body count here considering that the cast really thins out by the end.

It’s a bit of a double edged blade though because then the characters shouldn’t be made too likable before they end up going overboard. The film remembers this for one character as she insults the other members of the cast several times before the ending. That being said, a few good characters also don’t make it. One of them simply works too hard during the ending and it was a sad way to go. The character did a great job before she perished, but it was a low blow for the film. She didn’t drown, which is good, but a death is still a death.

The film really wanted to show how sad this was so it kept on focusing on the issue. We got to see the husband get torn up over this and are reminded that they were going to visit their grandchild. So, the tragedy elements were certainly there a whole lot. We are used to characters dying, even likable ones. However, the focus should be on the heroic deeds that they have just accomplished and not on how sad things will be as a result. Look at the deaths of Goku, Sonic, etc. The death is sudden and then brushed to the side after a few moments. That brisk way of moving forward would have done wonders for this film. It also would have helped if the film simply didn’t have any kids or seniors. It’s safe to say that it’s a lot easier to just watch teens and adults be defeated by nature than the former categories. It simply isn’t fun to put a senior or a kid in such a dangerous situation. Likewise with adding any animals of course. Now that would be a tragedy!
The main lead is Frank, a pastor who tries to debunk some Christian beliefs as he helps the heroes. He states that God does not care about people on an individual level as he is simply too busy. If you want to survive, then it’s on you to do so. He says to pray to the part of God that is in you as you strive for victory. God not caring about each individual is certainly false and hopefully he didn’t lead anyone down the wrong path. Frank was selling the people an odd package and hopefully they didn’t buy into it.

Apart from that, he still managed to be a fun lead. He is right that you should still try to get out of a problem instead of staying still and hoping for the best. This attitude gets him far and helps to motivate his team. His back and forth debates with Mike also give the film an extra boost. I was always on Frank’s side as Mike was a little unreasonable most of the time. Still, it is always good to have someone who will question your decisions.

Mike was apparently a good detective back in his day. As a result, he has a very individual personality that makes him reluctant to just take orders from Frank without a little back talk. When push comes to shove, Mike still does make the right decisions. He can just be rather annoying at times. He also blamed Frank for many of the deaths that occur in this film, which is a really low blow. Frank is the only reason that anyone survived this ordeal. If Mike had been in charge from the start, they’d be on the bottom of the ocean by now.

I do have to take away some props for the film with one of its subplots. One character was single when the film started and some of the other characters made it their business to try and help him find someone special. The guy even admits that he does want to be married. That’s pretty sad if you ask me. What happened to being proudly single? I get that Hollywood needs some romance in the world, but that character should have been left alone. The moral just makes the whole thing a little dicey if you ask me. It’s like the film is trying to say that you can’t stay single and we know that isn’t true. Am I reading into this too…deeply! (Ocean pun) Maybe, maybe not. Still, that plot didn’t add anything to the film. I could say the same for the detective’s wife. Why give her such an origin story if it will have nothing to do with the rest of the film? There is such a thing as unnecessary character development after all.
Overall, The Poseidon’s Adventure is a classic disaster film. It played up the tragedy angle a little too much for me to recommend this title, but you should like it if you really like the disaster formula. One by one, each character is picked off so it plays out like your average slasher or Resident Evil film, but instead of a monster attacking, it is simply nature. Disaster films sometimes do this aside from the normal ones so there should almost be a sub genre for it. Either way, you should not get attached to too many of the characters, but you can always have a competition with your fellow viewers to try and guess who dies first from the main characters. It’s the kind of game that I like to play within my head when I see one of these films. So, if this sounds like your cup of tea, then go for it. Otherwise, I recommend re watching the original Godzilla film.

Overall 4/10