Tag Archives: Film Review

Bunnicula: The Vampire Rabbit Review

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I was never really familiar with Bunnicula up til now. I know all about Dracula but since when wee bunnies also vampires? It was news to me but hey I was still eager to see what was going to happen here. It’s a pretty fun intro film and definitely sets the stage for what this part of the franchise would be like. The mini film is pretty fun and so I could see myself enjoying the whole show.

The film starts off with the nearby plant having a lot of strange issues recently. The latest one nearly murdered two employees so they shut it down. Two kids find a mysterious bunny nearby and so they bring it home. Chester the cat believes that the bunny is the cause of all the danger. That he’s some kind of vampire draining the life out of everything. It would explain why lately there are various fruits that have been losing their color. Almost like something is draining the juice from them. Harold is not so convinced and thinks that Chester is stretching things a bit too far.

Of course the evidence becomes hard to dispute later on as Bunnicula gets tougher and tougher. He is even able to use his supernatural abilities to take on several wolves. This bunny knows how to fight well but the powers take a lot out of him so he naps a lot. I was still glad to get a good action scene in here though. That was definitely a lot of fun and is a preview of how the shenanigans would go in an ongoing show.

The animation was also pretty good. It’s a really retro style that feels super authentic. The characters are always panicking and at the same time the voice acting helps to complement that as well. It’s a really upbeat kind of film and while it is aimed at younger viewers, the writing is solid so it works for anyone. It’s exactly the kind of fun animated film you like to see. The pacing is good as well with how short it is.

Harold is definitely my favorite character here. I always tend to have a soft spot for the skeptical characters. Why should he believe that there is something supernatural going on here right? It just doesn’t track for him and it takes a long time to change that. What I also appreciate is just how confident he is about this. There is no doubt in his mind that he is correct and that’s how a good character ought to be.

Meanwhile Chester is fun as well. The cat does his best to point out what is really going on here, no matter how insistent Harold is. That makes for a good contrast/foil between the two characters. Bunnicula in comparison doesn’t really have any character. That’s what you get when you’re sleeping for so long I suppose. That would probably be the one thing that could hold the series back. The titular character being the least interesting one is a little tricky.

The owner of the animals was surprisingly fun. When the town mob came over demanding that he hand over Bunnicula, he just called them out for being crazy. He was clearly done with the whole situation before it even happened and it makes sense since he lost his job recently thanks to the plant issues. He’s not exactly in a jolly mood and I don’t think anybody else would be either. The mob completely underestimated this guy and only got close because Harold and Chester took that time to run off with Bunnicula right in front of them.

If anything, what this film probably needed was either an antagonist or some really over eager animal catcher. It would help sell the long term appeal of the series as there would now be an obstacle that Bunnicula has to try and get around. Without that, the film will end up feeling too stand alone. It’s a bit hard to picture exactly how the show would play out here other than to have Bunnicula doing dracula type stuff the whole time.

Maybe the banter between Harold and Chester would be enough to see the adventure through. Perhaps Bunnicula continually frames them for random mischievous stuff around the house and then they have to solve it before anyone else finds out. The owner is definitely someone who is rather sharp so I could see him being tough to overcome. One wrong move and he will be right on top of them.

Overall, This was a fun special. It goes pretty fast with the solid writing and pacing. I liked the characters well enough and the only thing it seems to be missing is a long term hook. That’s ultimately not the film’s concern though. I can recommend this to anyone looking for a good time. The plot is easily accessible to anyone and has a fairly light tone throughout. Next time you see a vegetable losing its color, you’ll know what has been going on.

Overall 7/10

Slam Dunk: The Movie Review

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It’s time to look at the original Slam Dunk movie. Right away you may have been thinking about the recent one that came out but we’re going all the way to the 90s with this one. It’s a very short film as was the case for most movies that had an ongoing show at the time. It’s basically the length of an episode but that means things can go pretty quickly. Can Sakuragi defeat Oda and his team of powerful fighters?

The film starts off by explaining that the next team Sakuragi will be playing is led by Oda, the guy who is dating the girl that Sakuragi once liked. So that makes this an extra personal battle, particularly since Oda knows Sakuragi’s past as a delinquent and does not respect him on the court. Sakuragi will show that he has changed a lot since then and has no intentions of being defeated here. He will win and then go onto Nationals!

Right away what I liked here is that Sakuragi wasn’t petty or jealous. He was actually happy for the girl who got with Oda and it’s not like he had a crisis of who he is actually in love with now. He left the past in the past and that is absolutely the right way to go. I was definitely proud of him there. Oda was really the one instigating a whole lot and trying to pick a fight but Sakuragi would always control himself when it counted.

The movie shows us a lot of parallels between the two as Sakuragi is serious about Basketball and does what he needs to in order to improve. Meanwhile Oda is someone who gets rattled a lot easier and is not in control of his emotions. At one point he even hits his girlfriend and it’s meant to show how he’s just really stressed but it was a step too far. The relationship remains intact after that and she forgives him pretty quickly but it was definitely too late for me to like Oda as a character. You just can’t act like that and expect me to stay on your side at all.

He’s a decently good player but it’s also not like he is an all star or anything. Gori and Rukawa are definitely already better at this point in time. It’s why Shohoku didn’t have much of a problem taking them out. The game wasn’t as close as the scoreboard made it look if you ask me. I would have liked to have seen more of the game but I suspect it would have been difficult to actually show the game being this close without heavily nerfing the other characters.

Keep in mind that at this point in time it’s not as if Sakuragi is some kind of a super player. He’s still a newbie learning the ropes and yet he is still holding his own with Oda for a bit. The actual parts of the game we do see are definitely a lot of fun as always. Slam Dunk has an incredible ost and it’s a shame that it is so hard to find the tracks online. The ones that you do find tend to have a whole lot of sound effects layered within the video so it isn’t the smoothest watch either. I’ll take what I can get though.

The animation looks pretty solid. It’s not really a step up from the show but if you like the main episodes then you will like this one as well. It’s very smooth and they do a good job of keeping the action very high paced at all times. You can feel the tension as the game continues to go underway and they keep it up for the full episode length.

Due to the short length, it does mean that there isn’t really room for any of the other players. You get the general sense that they’re on the court of course but yeah don’t expect any big moments for those guys. This is Sakuragi and Oda’s show all the way through and for the first movie I suppose that works well enough. You’ll be sucked in enough to where you won’t really mind. The movie definitely holds your attention.

Overall, The first Slam Dunk movie was definitely quite a lot of fun. It’s a very simple film but gets to the point of why you’re watching a Basketball film to begin with. I definitely had no issues with it and would recommend it to anyone looking for a good time. The pacing is on point and it’s so short that it’s not exactly a huge investment of your time either. I can see other films beating it down the line but they’re definitely off to a good start with this one. It also fully succeeds in making Oda a really unlikable character so odds are that it might hurt him for when you watch the main show.

Overall 7/10

Satellite in the Sky Review

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It’s time for a sci-fi film that is a whole lot more low key than you may have suspected. As a result it can struggle to hold your attention at times even though it is fairly well written. The characters aren’t bad or anything but at the same time you do feel like some of the turnarounds are a bit too quick. Mainly the dynamic with the main heroine and the main character but I’ll get into that in a minute. So if you’re up for a low key film about space, then this could be the one for you.

The film starts off with Britain announcing their great Stardust spaceship. It is such a modern design that it will be able to travel in space indefinitely. Captain Michael and his crew are ready but Kim the reporter has a lot of choice words about this. She thinks exploring space is an absolute waste and keeps talking about how the rockets and science are too dangerous. It’s a fool’s game and all that. Now she’s welcome to her opinion but it goes a bit far when she sneaks aboard as a stowaway. That could have thrown everything off with weight limits and all.

Additionally, she is still quick to be flirting with Michael and the two of them hit it off. The tough talk feels like a weak front and the banter while fun, also feels fake. How would this be working out when Kim is insulting everything Michael stands for? They fight a whole lot but I guess all the insults just bounce off. The romance doesn’t make any sense and I don’t know why we needed it when there are two other romance plots going on here with the other passengers on the plane. The film certainly was not lacking in drama.

The biggest drama here is actually that the U.S. steps in to announce that they’ve covertly hijacked the mission to test a bomb. It was a quiet takeover since the U.S. funded the research and it was definitely a good power move. The main characters didn’t like it but ultimately fell into line rather quickly. They knew that otherwise there would be no space trip and they had been prepping for a long time for this mission.

Likewise, as the audience we were waiting a long time for this because it’s not until about halfway through the film that the characters even leave the Earth. I like a good setup as much as the next guy but I was expecting quicker pacing than that. The film is taking itself extremely seriously and I dare say that was a mistake. It might sound counterintuitive, but for a sci-fi film I’m going to be most interested in any issues that occur in outer space.

I think you could have cut some of the general scenes on Earth like one guy fighting with his girlfriend because she had to go to work and couldn’t make their date. He completely overreacted there by the way since he essentially admitted he would have done the same thing if his job suddenly called him in. So why should he be so upset at her for that? He barely even apologies a instead he calls her about a ring and that’s their big reconciliation scene but he needed to be more upfront on owning up to the fact that he made a mistake.

What probably makes the film feel a bit off is how there is no real antagonist here. Yeah you could say the government as a whole would fit that bill but it’s not really played out that way. Yeah the scientists are annoyed about having to work on a bomb but it’s not as if they think the government is suddenly evil. You don’t have the classic saboteur with a gun or anything like that. So the main conflict is when the characters have to find a way to safely jettison the bomb without everyone blowing up. Ultimately it is the power of science that is able to solve this issue. It’s fitting enough but not super exciting.

The film just abruptly ends when they solve the issue. I’m always up for a quick finisher but it does underscore that the characters weren’t really interesting enough to see how their stories ended. I would have liked to see if there was any blowback to the USA doing secret stuff in Britain’s experiment or if that would have just continued to be expertly covered up.

So this film will have its main appeal if you go into it expecting a slice of life. Travelling into space may not exactly be routine but it’s sort of treated that way. Everyone involved in the voyage is a professional aside from the reporter and so they’re rather relaxed about the whole journey. Kim makes sure to try and stress them out but rarely ends up succeeding. I can’t emphasize enough that if you’re looking for an exciting film you will need to look elsewhere. However, if you are looking for a calm experience then this will be up your alley.

Overall, This film ends up falling right in the middle for me. It’s not funny or thrilling enough for it to have any replay value and so I wouldn’t really be recommending it to anyone. On the other hand it doesn’t really make any mistakes and the writing is good on its own. So that’s why it ends up just being one of those films that will be forgotten in short order. Not making any mistakes is a solid start but you also have to have some individual strengths as a film to really make people want to watch it. If you’re going to do a very serious film about what it’s like to travel in space, then you have to punch up the writing a bit with extremely likable characters. Kim actually could have been that character if you just shredded the romance subplot. Have her try to sabotage the mission or just constantly making fun of everyone and then you have a solid antagonist right there.

Overall 5/10

Paradise Canyon Review

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It’s time for the last of the John Wayne films in this marathon. This one has a bit of a larger cast than usual thanks to everyone from the medicine show. It’s a pretty fun way to end things and John has a fun time trolling everyone as per usual. He is always ready for a fight and is the smartest guy around. I’d also say the film is going for even more of a comedic spin than some of the other installments

The film starts off with John being tasked with a mission to stop all the counterfeit money being produced in a nearby town. He dashes over and a medicine show will be a good cover so he helps out a group that was on the run from the sheriff. This group is not the most professional so it could be risky but John knows he will have to take some risks here. After all the villains are led by Curly Joe, one of the most dangerous outlaws out there!

One thing that will probably annoy you right from the start is how John is protecting Doc and his travelling band of scammers. Yes, it will help him get into town and keep a low profile but these guys are actually con artists. Doc apparently gets dunk so regularly that his daughter isn’t even surprised anymore. He’s apparently promised her dozens and dozens of times that he would stop and yet instead he still gets disorderly and skips out on the bill.

Yes, the characters are played for comic relief but they’re still crooks. Doc should have found another way to get into town. Even to the end Doc never ends up being a good character but he is a fun antagonist if you view him that way. He even goes out of his way to antagonize the cops once he is right outside of the state lines. Definitely not something you would respect out of a more reputable character. The pair of thieves who work as his assistants are hardly any better either.

As for Linda, she’s mainly here for the inevitable romance plot. There’s not much development there, it’s just around to tick off a few boxes. As for Curly Joe, he’s fun enough. He stands out more than some of the other western villains. The guy knows that bribery is the only chance he’s really got against John once the hero gets serious. Ultimately it’s all for naught for him but the guy was doing well with his criminal enterprise for a long while so he did still know what he was doing.

John is a fun main character even if he had to compromise on his morals for a while there in order to get things working. At the end of the day he still saved everybody and really showed the villains who was boss. Curly may not have made the best sales pitch but it was still good to see John shut him down right away and even delivered some more good one liners.

As always, one of the things that really helps make these films so much fun are all of the one liners. You can expect witty dialogue across the board throughout the films. This one is no exception as everyone is rather overconfident and of course the script is good. I definitely miss these kinds of old school films for that reason. The songs can use a little work and temporarily slow down the pacing during the show but I guess the film anted to squeeze at least one show in.

The overall soundtrack is definitely iconic to me after I’ve seen so many of these though. Then the fight scenes also aged well with the good hand to hand fights as well as a little gun action. John is always able to come out on top. The pacing is good which goes without saying since the film is under an hour long. It’s not particularly hard to move at a fast pace when that’s your runtime after all. Technically the last maybe 15-20 minutes are all for the long climax so the film has its priorities straight.

Overall, Paradise Canyon is a pretty good film. The title itself doesn’t feel like it has much to do with the film at all but I suppose they just wanted a catchy title that is easy to remember. It definitely works in that respect. There isn’t a lot for me to say to really make this stand out from the others so I would just say that if you enjoy John Wayne films then you’ll like this one as well. This movie has it all, the classic frame up job, John taking on numerous enemies, long horse chase scenes, etc. They manage to squeeze all of this into under an hour as well. Now if you don’t like the old western setting or want to see something a bit more unique, then that’s the only reason to skip this one.

Overall 7/10

Audrey Rose Review

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This is one of those films that can only happen if all of the characters are as passive as possible. They are continually not standing up to the situation and so the things deteriorate. The film tends to be on the annoying side as several characters act really crazy but nobody really does anything about it. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Bill had completely crashed out in the courtroom because to an extent it would have been justified.

The film starts off by introducing us to Bill and Janice who live a normal life with their daughter Ivy. Unfortunately a weird man has been stalking them for a while now and they quickly realize that he is mainly stalking their daughter Ivy. One day Janice is in a car crash so this man named Hoover takes the chance to meet with Ivy and then has dinner with the parents. He explains that he thinks Ivy is the reincarnated soul of his own daughter who died in a tragic car accident and so he intends to keep on meeting with Ivy. Bill says this is crazy but the cops can’t help since nobody has been hurt yet. Unfortunately Janice thinks that Hoover may be right and so Bill will not have to find a way to stop Hoover while also watching out for his own wife.

Janice is easily the most annoying character here because of how quick she was to believe Hoover. He starts talking crazy for a few minutes and she immediately thinks that he may be on to something. We learn that Ivy has had crazy episodes on her birthday for a long time now and this would track with the date that Hoover’s daughter died but that’s still a rather big stretch to go through here. Janice immediately ignores how weird it was to have Hoover following her for so long and even invites him up to her apartment to help Ivy through one of the episodes.

Hoover is able to help Ivy each time but this feels like an awful big chance considering his intentions. Also just letting a crazy guy into your house is basically asking for trouble. Then even after Hoover kidnaps Ivy to go to his place, Janice is quick to side with him here. She completely betrays Bill in court and does seem willing to let Hoover keep the kid. She really closed off any chance for her and Bill to come to terms here. They were just way too far apart and she gave up her kid too quickly.

Janice is panicking for most of the film so she doesn’t always make a lot of sense but she made all of the mistakes possible. I’d also say that Ivy looks pretty bad here since she is soundly defeated by the spirit of the other girl. She seems to have no mental defenses here as she crawls into fire and burns herself at several points just because the other girl forced her to. Can Ivy not fight on her own? I get that in these possession type of films that always tends to be the case but it can be annoying. In this film the opponent is another girl who was around the same age. This should not be as hard as usual.

As for Hoover, well the guy seems nutty from the start. He drank the Kool-Aid real fast and then didn’t choose the best way to make an impression on the family. In this film the whole reincarnation thing appears to be true so then he should have found a better way to break the news. The way he did it would make anyone think he was insane. Honestly the best way to get close would be to own a nearby business or become a teacher but that isn’t as easy as it looks. So in that case, rent a nearby room and try to be a good neighbor. Or just meet up with the family and talk rather than stalking. It would have been hard to have made a worst first impression.

As for Bill, he definitely doesn’t plan to be very agreeable right from the start of the film but I don’t blame him. This is his daughter we’re talking about and Hoover effectively wants to take her away or be a second parent. No way he could let that fly. Hoover also continually refers to Ivy as Janice’s daughter as well as his and leaves Bill out of this. Unfortunately Bill isn’t very strong and easily loses to Hoover in every confrontation.

It was not a good look there and it was also crazy that Bill forgot his own apartment has a back entrance that is unlocked. I know it was a tense moment but how do you forget that? I was definitely rooting for Bill in the court case. Yeah a lot of weird stuff was going on and perhaps Bill could have handled some things better but on the whole he was doing what he could. He was prioritizing his daughter which is the only choice that makes sense in this situation.

The film doesn’t even have a satisfying ending so that definitely ensured that this was not going to be a very positive film. You’ve got a mostly annoying cast of characters with a kid who has absolutely no idea what was going on and then you couldn’t even stick the landing. This is definitely not a film that will stand the test of time as I would say it hasn’t even aged well up to this point. It’s not particularly scary either, just more on the annoying side.

Overall, This is a film that I would recommend skipping. On the whole I’ve never been all into possession films and this one is no exception. Not even the courtroom scene could save it, although I was glad that it was there. It was nice to see the rest of the world a bit although I would have liked to have seen what the jury made of all this. I like to think that they all thought Hoover was super crazy but Janice turning sides would have definitely hurt the situation quite a bit. It would have all been more interesting than the main plot. A good ending could have at least helped things out but ultimately there was to be no saving grace for this film.

Overall 3/10

And Soon The Darkness Review

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It’s time for a film that really reminds you to follow common sense and to be careful when travelling in a strange land. There are all kinds of things that can go wrong when you’re in unfamiliar territory after all and that becomes apparent very quickly. Unfortunately the film is going to rather extreme methods to point this out and the film quickly ends up going for the low hanging fruit here. Certainly one relying on cheap tension to keep you at the edge of your seat and so that’s not going to be a winning strategy.

The movie starts by introducing us to Jane and Cathy who are biking across France. They don’t really speak much French but this seemed like a fun way to spend the holidays. Unfortunately Cathy wants to take a break in the middle of nowhere and the two were already off the beaten path. Jane points out what a terrible idea this is as it will be dark out pretty soon but Cathy doesn’t care and goes back to sleep. Jane is forced to go on without her and sure enough, Cathy vanishes and is presumed dead. Jane doesn’t want to give up on her but night is approaching soon and a mysterious guy keeps on following her. This feels like trouble.

I am going to blame Cathy for a lot of this right from the start because she was being completely unreasonable. You can’t just decide to go to sleep when the place is already dangerous. That doesn’t make any sense and she resists all of Jane’s efforts to make her get up. So when Jane eventually leaves I could not blame her because staying there would have just resulted in both of them being dead. Yeah leaving your friend is always rough but it’s not like Jane could physically force her to get up. That would be an even fight at best and then you have to drive both of them with the bikes.

Cathy also didn’t seem to have much of a sense for danger with how she was encouraging the weird stalker throughout the opening. You probably want to be keeping your distance at that point instead of thinking about how cool he looked. So yeah she played every part of this as badly as possible and definitely made Jane’s life a whole lot harder.

As for Jane, she was a good friend the whole time. She went out of her way to try and help Cathy by taking a lot of risks and doubling back to find her. Jane would have been all the way to safety immediately if she hadn’t had to go back. Jane also studied so she knows at least a little bit of French which helps out. It may not be enough to speak the language but she can tell when a translator is lying about what is going on at least. Ultimately she was much sharper about her surroundings and wouldn’t make anything easy for the villain.

As for the mysterious guy, Paul, well he definitely does a terrible job of trying to look normal. He tends to be very quiet for large parts of the film and when he speaks it is always to say something that just makes him look more suspicious. I can’t forget how he asked Jane if she wanted to search deep in the woods with him during their first real conversation. That’s something only a possible serial killer would say right? Throughout the film we learn about how he’s lying to her on several occasions and in the past another woman was murdered around this spot.

The film very much enjoys its misdirects and twists but does so in a very low effort way. Basically it makes people act very suspiciously and in ways that do not make sense in order to help trick the audience. So it’s basically cheating by that point and will have you shaking your head. There is a very small cast here so you’ll probably see through it pretty quickly but it doesn’t help make the experience any better.

Meanwhile of course the film would immediately not be satisfied with just murdering the heroes and so the threat is very quickly escalated into being more than that. So now as the audience you have to hope that even if Jean dies, at least it’s quick because the motive for the villain is going to be rough. It’s what I would call cheap tension here. The film isn’t confident that it can actually make you nervous on the basis of the writing or characters so it has to add on extra elements.

The villain gets away with a bit too much here and I definitely wouldn’t have minded missing out on the details. Even the climax of the film has to go on with this rather than just having a quick fight. Yeah this movie was definitely doomed and it’s a very dreary affair. There aren’t many lighthearted moments ere at all and the film’s pacing isn’t always great. They don’t translate any of the dialogue in order to help you experience how lost the main heroine is. I understand the goal here narratively but it also means there are just more scenes that are effectively gibberish.

The film will also probably hit harder for people who have ever been tempted to do something like this. Biking across the country as a way to explore the unknown does not interest me in the slightest. It’s not something I would ever want to do and even if it was guaranteed to be safe, it’s just not my cup of tea.

Overall, This is one of those films that definitely feels rather mean spirited. It’s definitely collecting all the things that can go wrong if you wander into the wrong area but you don’t really need a whole film about that. A simple disappearance or getting lost in an unknown territory could make for a good suspense film. Once you add in the threats of being assaulted by creeps and other elements like that, then it just feels like one of those cheap thrillers you might come across on TV. It’s not a film that is seriously trying to impress you with a good message or anything like that. I would definitely say to avoid this one as much as possible.

Overall 1/10

Fire Emblem Shadows Review

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I finally got around to trying out the new Fire Emblem game that Nintendo launched for mobile. On one hand I applaud them for finally bringing a new mobile title into the fray. It feels like it has certainly been a while. On the other hand….did they really have to force in more gimmicks? This would have been such a fun title if it was traditional Fire Emblem and instead they try to make it like Among Us and it doesn’t really work with this style. Ultimately this one won’t be a keeper for me.

The general story is pretty par for the course when it comes to Fire Emblem. A kingdom is overthrown and so the prince has to escape along with his trusty bodyguard. He meets up with two girls who seem nice enough, but then they find out that one of the 4 of them is an imposter. Who can it be? Well, the first time it’s the chipper girl with red hair, the next time it’s the other girl with black hair, and then it’s the main character! The last one ends up being a dream though and now you’re back to a full party. The prince needs to gather a lot of powerful allies and then bring his kingdom back to power. Can he pull this off?

To be clear, while the plot is rather straight forward, I still enjoyed it. Mainly due to the character designs being nice and colorful and the game having good presentation. The audio is good, the soundtrack is solid, and the writing is on point. So the story isn’t the problem here, its the gameplay. Think of this as a semi auto tactical game. The characters move on their own and attack on their own. You control the special abilities like healing and energy blasts. In any matchup there are 3 heroes, only one of those 3 is actually a villain.

If you’re playing as the hero, you want to hurry up and beat the enemies and then afterwards there is a guessing round to see who the villain is. So you’ve got a 50/50 shot no matter what. If you guess right, you gain 1 auto revive for when the battle with the traitor starts. Then if you win that battle, you win. The immediate problem here is that the deck is stacked in favor of the traitor. The traitor can destroy you with around 2 moves as soon as the battle begins.

All attacks are anonymous but you can probably guess who the traitor is based on who isn’t hit right? Wrong! The main strategy is for the traitor to knock everyone out, then there is no way to tell who it was. Then in the second round, you can get a revive but it won’t stack since you just died. So you will die to the traitor anyway. I’m told that as you progress through the game you will get power ups and armor that prevent the game from being so one sided but the gameplay design itself feels flawed to me.

On one hand, I like how quick the rounds are. You can play a few rounds very quickly. On the other hand, it’s just too automated for me. I’d rather move the character myself and then set up the traps as I go. Having the system do the movement for me just takes away the fun out of a whole chunk here. It’s just barely Fire Emblem at that point. Nintendo really can’t resist going along with gimmicks here and unfortunately it did not land. I feel like Nintendo has been missing a whole lot more than usual lately.

Outside of the gameplay, the title is really strong in the other areas. It just doesn’t matter enough because at the end of the day, you’re here for the gameplay right? That will always be the most important part of a gaming experience after all because without that, you won’t be able to continue. In very extreme circumstances the story might be so good you can force your way through bad gameplay but that is exceptionally rare. The flip side of that is certainly way more common.

Overall, Fire Emblem Shadows is certainly a fresh experiment by Nintendo and I wish it the best but this game is just not for me. Sometimes you can tell right away if the game fits your style and the opposite is true as well. I feel like the series is big enough where I can see this one being really successful so maybe they can use some of the revenue to make a movie r something. It’s long past due for Fire Emblem to really get more kinds of media. The game is free on the app store so you should probably give it a shot. It certainly can’t hurt and maybe you’ll like it more than I did.

Overall 4/10

The Rage: Carrie 2 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for the return of Carrie. Unfortunately this film is definitely no good and tries too hard to be like the first one which is not a good idea. The only real amusing part here is that the main character looks like a debater that I’ve seen on Youtube a handful of times, but that’s really it. This one just embraces being real mean spirited the whole time and never actually gets good. The whole climax also revolves around the main character not really being very smart.

The film focuses around a girl named Rachel who isn’t a super big people person. She tends to be very goth and her best friend is the most social one. Unfortunately her friend destroys herself after being used by her boyfriend. Most of the guys in this school are unfortunately bad people as they keep score of who they get with and it’s all a game. Unfortunately they all tend to have high scores so there is a lack of morals on both sides. To be clear though, the guys get more blame on this for starting such a terrible game in the first place.

One guy in the group named Jesse begins to like Rachel so he tells the others to back off but they don’t plan on stopping. Rachel’s friend may have taken a photo of the two of them together before she passed and so now they want to scare Rachel into submission before she does something that can ruin their chances of winning the big football game. So they aim to take her down but what they don’t realize is that she has supernatural powers capable of slaughtering an entire town. Will Rachel be able to stop these guys?

That is ultimately the main problem here, this is just a slightly altered version of Carrie. Initially Rachel isn’t the one being bullied, but that ends up happening to her anyway. There is one person who is sympathetic to her (Jesse) but he isn’t in a position to help anyway. It just follows the first film to a T and it’s not like that one got a particularly good score. This one proceeds to double down though like randomly having Rachel’s dog get hit by a car. She’s also brought up by two abusive foster parents who don’t even pretend to like her, they just like the money that comes in for looking after her.

Another problem which I alluded to in the beginning is that the film relies on Rachel not having any common sense. Lets look at the series of events her. Rachel’s best friend dies, all of the guys start to bully and terrify her constantly. Suddenly, all the cool girls in school who never liked Rachel invite her to a big party and all the guys will be there to apologize. Why would Rachel honestly think this is on the up and up? It’s probably the biggest red flag I’ve ever seen.

That sounds like a good way to be vanished if we’re being honest here. Going to a rowdy school party after hours where there will be no supervision? Yeah that’s a bad idea. Even if on the off chance they were being legit, that would not be enough reason to go. You’re just asking for trouble at that point. Alas, it goes about as you would expect as they mess with her for a while until she is eventually able to take them down. It just takes way too long for her to get these abilities activated.

The whole humiliation scene as they put her on the big screen and everybody’s laughing just reminds you how none of the characters are likable. They’ve all got to go and so you’re not particularly upset when Rachel starts destroying everyone. Yeah, not all of the kids were super guilty in there. While I doubt any of them were all that good, just hanging around a bad crowd doesn’t mean you deserve the death penalty. It’s particularly rough for the lady who was trying to reunite Rachel with her mother because she gets taken out without even being able to say anything. The actual mother also looks pretty bad but she was literally crazy so I guess that’s to be expected.

The film would have just been so much better if Rachel could actively use her powers and it could have been framed as a foil to what happened with Carrie. Rachel would instead be ready to do what she needed to do. Also I’m not really going to let Jesse off the hook here. I’m glad that he would defend Rachel but it doesn’t change the fact that he hung out with such a terrible group of people for so long. I would also say he needed to break things off with the other girl much more officially and obviously he shouldn’t go to her house where she is going to try some things.

He put himself in all of the worst positions and also came off as naive when he started falling for what the bullies were selling as well. As someone more or less on the inside he definitely should have sensed that this was a trap. He gets off easier than the rest, albeit he will have to live with daily jump scares. That’s just the price of surviving an evet like this.

The ending is rather weak though. As far as jump scares go, it may be one of the weakest that I’ve seen. Seriously there is just nothing impressive about it and barely even works as a twist ending. So it’s ultimately a pretty pointless moment. They may as well have brought back the comedic music from when the mother escaped the asylum.

The film isn’t too violent for the most part but it certainly makes up for lost time with the ending. That part gets extremely violent for the entire duration of the scene. So you’ll want to watch out for that. Mix that in with some fanserivce from all the affairs for the game the guys were plying and this was really a recipe for disaster. The film goes out of its way to make everyone super unlikable and it really succeeds. Even most of the adults ultimately fall before the power of bribes and politics. It really makes for a jaded experience.

Overall, I recommend skipping this one unless you really don’t mind sitting through an intensely mean spirited film. Everything that could go wrong for Rachel certainly did here and ultimately it’s not like the ending helps her out either. We do get a big twist (That you might have gotten spoiled on from the opening scene) that helps to explain the powers but it’s not like that does anything to save the experience for you. This needed to be a superhero origin story or something to have at least given you some hope for future installments.

Overall 1/10

House of the Dead Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

House of the Dead is one of those films that’s very infamous. It doesn’t have a whole lot of big defenders to be honest. Mostly it just gets a lot of mocking and you can see why. The film is definitely not taking things very seriously and some aspects like the music are definitely not general audience friendly. Ultimately it is a bad film but I dare say it does manage to defeat the average horror flick.

The movie starts with someone reminiscing about how things were before all of his friends were murdered. We then flash back to the actual movie which is always a very annoying way to start a movie. Why even let us know that one of the characters is going to live through this? Well, there’s a big rave taking place on the island of the dead but a few teenagers were running late so they missed the boat. They’re forced to pay an extremely high price to hitch a ride with the only boat left in town. The captain’s first mate isn’t particularly nice and the captain is certainly not making things easy but this party is a once in a lifetime event. The problem is when they get there, all of the people are gone. Instead there are only hordes of zombies. Can the heroes manage to take them down??

You may be wondering what happened to the house. Well, that appears near the end of the film but really this should have been called the Island of the Dead. Most of the film is really about them trying to survive on that island while they are attacked by endless rounds of zombies. The heroes fortunately are able to get their hands on guns and other weapons with which to defend themselves. It’s really the only way to fight back and they manage to get pretty good at using them.

Where the film is probably going to lose some people is when it becomes a full on action. Once the heroes get their weapons, this very quickly stops being a horror film and quickly leans into the action all the way. We get a ton of slow mo scenes and a very extended fight where the heroes are shredding all of the zombies. I didn’t have a problem with the length but the slow motion effect does get old rather quickly. The long fight is still the best part of the film though. I’ll take an action over a horror any day after all. There is a little plot armor in how the humans are faring so well here though.

The film is very inconsistent about how physically strong the zombies are as well as their speed. It all appears to just be at the level that it needs to be for the scene. The scene transitions are also a bit too random with all of the video game clips randomly showing up. It could have been fun once or twice but it happens very frequently with no real rhyme or reason to it. Definitely not the way to go here.

Meanwhile the soundtrack is actually very good for most of the film. There is a lot of good rock themes as well as just generally fast tunes which really fit in well with all of the fighting. That’s something that has actually aged really well so I appreciated that. The visuals can be rather hit or miss but I did enjoy the choreography for the battles. One character actually knows martial arts and gets to pummel several characters that way.

While most of the characters are annoying teenagers, I did really enjoy the boat captain. He was at least trying to make sense of what was going on here and also didn’t show any fear. He was particularly impressive in his very first encounter with a zombie because he just casually shot it while still smoking his cigarette. That takes a lot of guts right there. He was also the reason the others even had weapons with which to fight the zombies so without him they would have all been dead very quickly.

I also enjoyed the policewoman because she was smart enough to put aside her beef with the captain to fight against the zombies. I know some lesser characters who wouldn’t have adapted like that. She did really well in her fights as well and ultimately only got held back by the others and the ammo starting to run low. It does make sense that with all of the shooting they were doing, they would eventually run out of bullets.

This film didn’t really need a main villain though. An endless horde of zombies is already scary enough right? Well, we do get a mastermind at the end and he even gets an origin story. The scenes just make everyone else look bad because there is one moment where he goads a guard into getting close enough to destroy him. Whenever someone loses to a guy who is fully chained up, I’m going to have some problems there.

There also isn’t much to this villain. He just craves violence and got immortality. It’s not like he has any kind of a master plan or anything. He just does whatever he wants and that’s not exactly a recipe for success. He does put up a good fight in the end but it’s barely even a consolation because he should have won that fight. Losing just makes him look even less impressive.

Naturally it goes without saying as a zombie film that this one can be pretty violent. You have a ton of characters getting slashed and destroyed during the mayhem. So if you’re not big on all of that then this would be a reason to stay away. It might have slightly more restraint than other zombie films as it doesn’t usually dwell on the deaths but yeah the violence is still at a high level here.

Overall, This film had some good ideas but could not land the execution. While I enjoyed some of the adult characters like the captain and the policewoman, there was nothing good to be said about the teens. The fact that some of them didn’t even care when the rave was empty just shows that they aren’t the smartest characters in the bunch. Any semblance of romance here just feels obligatory as none of the characters seem mature enough for it and they take too long to get serious about this. Of course if you’re planning to go to a Rave on an island in the middle of nowhere, I’d argue that your moral compass may already be in a rather dicey spot. You should only check this film out if you reallllly like zombie fighting and even then you will have to sit through a bit of a slow first half before the zombies even appear.

Overall 3/10

Cape Fear Review

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It’s time for one of those films that makes you wish the main character was someone different. The whole film revolves around the main character not being willing to make the tough calls until it’s nearly too late whereas other leads could have ended this really early. The film even stacks the deck by having the lead be friends with the chief of police along with having a super long, clean record. Yeah there were definitely ways to avoid the fallout that ensues and I dare say it would have been a much better movie as well.

The film starts with Sam working on another case when an ex convict shows up. This guy’s name is Max and he’s pretty upset because Sam is the one who put him away for a long time a while back. Unfortunately, Max was let go after only 8 years due to good behavior. That’s not good news for Sam because this guy is completely unrepentant and wants to take his revenge. He basically tells Sam that he’s going to take down his wife and daughter. Sam has an easy out here, he could murder Max. However, doing so would tarnish his social reputation. So in that case…what can he do?

Well, the answer should be clear here, he’s gotta take this guy down. Sam knows that it’s no bluff since this guy was put away once already. It’s not like he’s just trying to scare Sam. So I would argue that Sam has a moral duty to go as far as he can in order to protect his family. This is a fairly seedy town to the point where there are gangs running around who can be hired to beat people up. So in that case you dispose of Max and cover it up along with the help of the locals, the cops, or just do it yourself and don’t tell anybody.

There are a lot of methods for this but the main point is that you can take care of the villain and hide the evidence. Sam is too worried about doing things by the book here and that just puts everyone in danger. Before the film is over Max gets at least two more victims and also really traumatizes both the daughter and the wife. Yes, he was stopped but it was at a really high cost and Sam cut things really close.

Sam did hire a gang to help out at one point but that was still the half hearted approach. I mean, he couldn’t have known that they would all be defeated but that’s why you gotta do the job personally. To their credit, the cops at least do as much as they can to protect Sam. There’s just going to be an obvious limit to what they can do here. Especially in an official capacity.

I would say Sam’s wife also comes across as looking very naive here. For a good chunk of the film she isn’t taking the situation quite as seriously like when she lost sight of the daughter or when she tells Sam that he better not even think of murdering Max. She’s acting like this isn’t life or death stakes and doesn’t really change her tune until the very end of the film. It was definitely more than a little annoying because this concerns her just as much as it does Sam. In some ways more since she is one of the active targets.

Naturally Max is one of those villains who isn’t made to be likable so pretty much any scene with that guy is going to be super annoying. He’s always very smug because his opponents are going to be pushovers here. He keeps on pushing Sam because he knows that nothing is going to happen and so you’re just waiting for the tides to turn but it takes a really long time to get to that point. You’ll be shaking your head the whole time.

Of course this kind of plot is always going to limit how good the film can be and unfortunately it takes the low road at each opportunity. If Max was just aiming to murder the family that would be one thing but he wants to do more than that and he has a history of it as well. He also gets another lady midway through the film and so he ends up getting away with way too much. That kind of Sword Art Online plot is always going to doom any movie with it. It means this film’s going to make for a very dreary watch the whole time.

It’s going for easy tension with the threats of what could happen which always comes at the expense of a good time. The fact that the villain gets as far as he does only serves to further hurt the experience. Additionally, the film wasn’t satisfied with just doing that and so of course we have to have the death of a dog in here as well. It’s just one of those things where you can immediately tell that this is the kind of film that will go there. The villain obviously has no qualms about it and unfortunately the heroes aren’t able to watch the dog at all times. So you have to watch as Sam doesn’t do anything about this because he’s legally stuck once again.

I know you wouldn’t have much of a film if he acted quickly but that would have made so much more sense. Even at the bar when Sam was being threatened, you could just shoot him there and explain that he was reaching for the gun or something. If there was ever a time to commit a crime, this would be it. You commit one to save your family and you have the knowledge that they will be safe. At the very least this film is a good example of what not to do if you’re ever in a situation like this. Sam also talks about how leaving isn’t an option but honestly if you aren’t going to fight, it’s worth a shot. This was in the days before advanced technology after all so you would have much better odds of vanishing than you would otherwise. It’s not the best strategy but it’s better than doing nothing right?

Overall, Cape Fear is definitely the kind of film I’d highly advise you to avoid at all costs. It goes out of its way to step into every cinematic pitfall possible and it doesn’t even have any real positives to fight against this. You probably can’t cobble together 10 minutes of happy moments because there is always the underlining threat that is looming. The heroes keep letting themselves be backed into a corner throughout the movie and the ending isn’t the most satisfying. Yeah one character is trying to get the ultimate win here but at the same time you can’t help but think that he will now have to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life. It’s not like that would have saved the film at all but I still would have enjoyed a more positive ending.

Overall 1/10