Category Archives: Balki Bartokomous Battles

Gigan vs Balki Bartokomous

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Suggested by Destroyer Balki has absorbed quite a few losses on the blog. It’s pretty sad for the guy since at the end of the day he’s just a normal guy. He simply can’t compete with all of these fancy monsters and super powered fighters. The guy is out of his league but maybe he could run away for a while to prolong the inevitable and make it seem like a good fight. Gigan wins.

Clark Still vs Balki Bartokomous

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Clark Still is a very experienced hand to hand fighter and he is also well acquainted in the use of guns. This essentially means that Balki Bartokomous has no chance of winning this round. He would get completely wrecked in a fist fight and one bullet would mean curtains. His losing streak continues, but Balki only has 1 more request fight in the vault so he is at the end of the line now. Hopefully he can end off on a high note eh? Clark Still wins.

Grumpy Bear vs Balki Bartokomous

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It’s time for Grumpy Bear to make his debut on the blog. At first I thought that Balki might finally have a chance here, but it wasn’t so be. Grumpy Bear has some vague magical powers including a Uni Beam that he can fire from his chest. It is enough to repel Lightning which means that one blast would spell curtains for Balki. Balki never got any fancy superpowers and now it has come back to bite him! Grumpy Bear wins.

Littlefoot vs Balki Bartokomous

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Littlefoot makes his debut here and I can assure you that Balki won’t be able to defeat a dinosaur. That’d be a little too much if you ask me. Balki’s not even an experienced fighter so he won’t have the experience needed to dodge Littlefoot’s vicious bites. Littlefoot may not be as large as the average T Rex, but you’ve got to believe that his physical power is still very impressive. Game Over Balki, you had a nice run! Littlefoot wins.

Balki Bartokomous vs Barth

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Barth makes his debut on the blog! He’s from the comedy You can’t do that on Television! It’s like some kind of fake reality, comedy show. I’m not sure I fully understand the show, but that’s okay. In a fist fight, my money’s definitely on Balki. Barth definitely doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who can really fight. Likewise with Balki of course, but he could put up a better fight than Barth and that’s enough to take this round. Balki Bartokomous wins.

Balki Bartokomous vs Snow White

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Things are looking up for Balki! Snow White can talk with animals and is a nice person overall, but that’s not going to win fights on its own. She has no great abilities that I am aware of which would have let her surpass Balki. Balki isn’t the greatest fighter either, but he does have the edge in raw power and can throw in some good punches. Snow White sinks even lower into the blog ranks and desperately needs a win! Balki Bartokomous wins.

Balki Bartokomous vs Paddington

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This match could significantly change once Paddington grows into a full fledged adult bear, but that hasn’t happened yet. Balki Bartokomous may not have a whole lot of hand to hand training under his belt, but he’s still more than a match for anything that Paddington can try. Balki will be able to block the bear’s punches and he can also outmaneuver the guy. I like Paddington’s hat, but it’s not enough to win the fight. Balki Bartokomous wins.

Jesse Pinkman vs Balki Bartokomous

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Balki Bartokomous is back, but he definitely can’t beat a guy with a gun. Jesse has shot people in the past and he certainly has more combat experience than Balki. Balki means well, but he’s just a little out of his league here and I don’t see him being able to mount a comeback against this guy. Having a gun gives you a great edge in a hand to hand fight between humans. Jesse Pinkman wins.

Balki Bartokomous vs Dora The Explorer

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Dora has attained many gadgets over the years, but they won’t be enough to stop Balki this time around. Balki simply has the age advantage so he can steal Dora’s backpack and just run away until Dora gets tired and gives up the match. There’s no real way that Dora can make a comeback in this round so it’s Game Over for her right now. Perhaps they’ll make a live action film where she has a gun someday. That would certainly tip the scales! Balki Bartokomous wins.

Balki Bartokomous vs Ralf Jones

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Balki Bartokomous is back and he’s up against a new fighter. Ralf Jones is a fairly good brawler whose hand to hand skills are tough to match. He’s great at keeping an opponent off balance and Balki’s lack of hand to hand training will come back to haunt him here. Ralf can easily hit him with a flurry of blows and Balki will have no way to react to that level of skill. I’m afraid that Balki will have to lose yet again here. Ralf Jones wins.