Tag Archives: Film Review

Blood on the Moon Review

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It’s time for a fairly emotional western title. It’s one where the romance can definitely be a little bit on the weaker side but I do think the story is more engaging than the last one. We once again have different factions here but it’s a more obvious good vs evil scenario this time. It just takes the main character a little long to actually make up his mind and pick the right group.

The film starts by introducing us to Joe who really just enjoys doing his own thing. He’s always wandering around from place to place but he is short on funds at the moment. His old friend Tate shows up and wants Jim to help him with a mission that’s going to pay super great. Basically they have to keep John and the other livestock owners from getting them off the property in time. See, Tate wants to buy up all of the animals from John’ family but he only wants to pay bottom dollar. So this forced John to have to get out fast because if he stays too long then I think he would be over the deadline and it would be trespassing. Of course it’s not like this is really legal but back in the day it was hard to patrol everything. So Jim is on board since he needs the money but his conscience isn’t a happy camper.

Jim slowly gets to be a little close to John’s family and sees just how cruel Tate’s group is. Tate’s group doesn’t really trust Jim as it is so he has to be extra careful when he leaves them. Meanwhile, John’s daughter Amy doesn’t really care for Jim either after a big misunderstanding during their first meeting that doesn’t really get much better after that. She really made up her mind about him early on though so here wasn’t a whole lot for him to do about this. It’s part of why it’s hard to see a romance really going anywhere here. Amy was completely murder him when they first met. Yes, she sees why that would be a bad idea but jumping all the way to romance feels rather extreme. I just couldn’t buy into it.

It’s still better than her sister Carol’s plot though. In a storyline as old as time, Carol believes that the bad boy Tate actually likes her and so she is ready to sell out her father immediately. Sure he gives the usual lines like he won’t actually murder John but why would she actually believe that? She feels like a massive sucker throughout the film and it’s all a really bad look for her. Even if Tate wasn’t going to murder John, he was still going to steal all of the cattle and put them in a serious jam. There’s no way she bought into his half hearted logic the whole time. So that means she just overlooked it in order to be with him which is definitely not good. She’s just a traitor plain and simple. There was no way for her to go up from there.

Meanwhile I actually thought Tate made for a good villain. Yeah he got really lucky to have a traitor at the ready but even beyond that he was a quick talker and always had a plan going. So the guy definitely wasn’t lazy like some main villains. He also had skills of his own but at the end of the day he just wasn’t skilled enough to win. That’s really what it boils down to. Romance aside, Amy was a solid heroine here. I give her points for having a gun and being ready to fight at all times. Her enthusiasm often tended to be on a higher level than her actual skills but she does actually land some good hits in the climax.

The climax is one of those classic shootouts where the heroes are all in a cabin and trying to fire at the villains who are right outside. It always felt like it would be really difficult for anyone to land a hit here since you’re both walls or rocks that wouldn’t easily be shredded by bullets. I suppose it’s all about how risky each side gets and who lands a lucky hit first. Also if you run out of bullets then that’s another issue. Amy and Jim had help from one guy who was avenging his son so they made for a really good team.

Then we have Jim who is a decent main character but I can’t say that he was all that great. Again, it took him a while to actually choose the heroic side in the conflict here. Things could have easily gone in a way where he never got to defect from the group and the main problem here is that a main character with good morals would have never faltered in the first place. The fact that Jim was originally doing this for the money is a bad look for him. So he did improve by the end but ultimately he’s not one of the best western lead characters.

Then John was okay. He actually had some fairly good ideas and traps here like giving out fake directions on a map to see who would take the bait. Ultimately there are only so many plans you can come up with in this setting though and in the end you need muscle to win in these battles. You’d think more of the people who wanted to keep their cattle and stay safe would have fought back but for the most part these guys are just watching the whole time and not doing much of anything.

Meanwhile the writing is solid as you would expect. The script is good as always with a lot of fun dialogue and everyone talks in that very retro way of speaking. The story is well developed with a lot of moving pieces as well. We even get the local government involved at one point which was nice. These guys definitely wasn’t as smart and tend to get themselves into trouble but I liked that angle since you don’t often see the government in these films. It helped add an extra oomph to the movie without a doubt and I’d like to see this become more of a thing. It’s technically still a very small element in this movie so another film could definitely take it farther.

Overall, This film had a good plot going and the main cast was solid. You are fairly well engaged the whole time and the action scenes are pretty good. The pacing is on point and the climax is really solid. I would have liked it if the main character wasn’t just ready to work on super shady dealings for the money but at least he did switch up once he saw just how bad his group is. That definitely worked as a wake up call for him. The ending is definitely wholesome and so I would recommend this film. Get ready for a fairly rushed ending in terms of romance but otherwise it works out. The main moral I’d say here is to watch out before you start shooting all over the place because there could be a misunderstanding.

Overall 7/10

Joe Kidd Review

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Time for another Western type title. It’s always fun when you see Clint Eastwood on the poster because you know that the main character is about to be really fun. He really doesn’t put up with a lot from anyone and the film starts off really strong with the opening scene. I’ll admit that after that the plot isn’t super interesting though. You’re mainly just watching for the action scenes and to see the main character talking tough to everyone. Ultimately it makes for a good watch though and does beat the average western in the genre.

The film introduces us to Joe who is in prison and is just about ready to get out. One of the other prisoners makes the mistake of messing with him and gets his lights knocked out for the trouble. Joe’s bail has been paid by a guy named Harlan who is looking for another guy named Chama. There is a pretty big dispute going on and so Harlan and his posse are getting ready to take down Chama’s gang. Joe doesn’t care about any of this and is ready to get home but it turns out that his neighbors/friends were beaten and murdered by Chama’s men. So now Joe has a stake in all of this and is ready to set out. Is everything as it seems though?

One thing I will say from the jump is that neither Chama or Harlan are particularly heroic. This film is more about the grey in between as both groups have their share of secrets and issues going on. It means that in a way you just need the lesser of two evils to win or you need Joe to destroy them all. I just don’t think the film gives you enough reason to care about either side. To me they both seem super corrupt. I would say Harlan’s group is more villainous ultimately since they are picking fights and using force to take what they want. Chama’s group are mainly like the resistance but Chama was ready and willing to let everyone in the Church get murdered because he figured as the figure head of the group he had to live.

A very selfish gesture all the way through. He gets called out on this and tries to do better but yeah to me this was basically a gang fight. Ultimately Joe gets his revenge on what happened to his friends and then takes out everyone in his way. The most notable moment of the climax was definitely when he rode a train through the enemy base and started shooting. That was pretty fun in large part because it was so unexpected. It’s not every day that you see someone bring a train to a gun fight right?

The action scenes are on point as always. There aren’t quite as many as you would expect but they are always handled really well. As expected Joe is also a pretty fun main character. The romance here was definitely on the very weak side and that’s the weakest aspect of Joe’s character since he moves so fast on this. He is great in all other areas though. The guy has confidence and there is one fun plot where one of the villains is constantly picking fights with Joe and always gets humbled. It’s crazy how vast the skill difference is between them but that’s why Joe is a legendary figure while this guy is just some nobody.

I’ll give some good kudos to the preacher at the church that was taken over by the villains. Sometimes in these things the preacher will make a big deal about not being able to help since peace is the way to go but there’s nothing preventing you from using some good ole self defense. In this case that means getting Joe a weapon so he can fight back when he doesn’t have one at one point. So getting him the weapon was a great idea and it also meant that the inhabitants had a new lease on life. Without Joe they would have been absolutely doomed.

While the end of the film may not have been super strong since the romance was super weak but it did have a nice callback to the opening scene that was really good. Someone takes a big punch that was absolutely deserved considering how useless the character was during the whole film. It’s also a moment that shows how Joe isn’t going to be forgetting anything. When it’s time to make a move or get revenge for a slight that happened earlier, he’s going to keep it in the back of his head until it’s time. I like to think he was waiting for this moment throughout the whole movie and he probably was. The punch had to feel good. Once again, he was just a really fun lead character.

Overall, Joe Kidd is a pretty fun film. The film is mainly carried by Joe himself but that’s probably why the film is named after him. That was always going to be the film’s focus and it’s not a bad idea. A great main character can really take you very far. Even when the plot isn’t quite as sturdy, if the main character is good enough then it barely matters. That’s just the way that it goes. So I would recommend this one. It’s fairly basic as far as western films go but that means you can enjoy pretty much all of the usual ropes in this kind of title. There are a lot of betrayals and twists running around but at the end of the day Joe just needs to tackle anyone who gets in his way.

Overall 6/10

The Man Who Watched Trains Go By Review

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It’s time for a film with a pretty awful main character. I think he got off way too easy the whole time which definitely hurts this one a bit but you’ll stay engaged throughout the adventure. The film’s not super long or anything so it goes by quickly and it doesn’t make a lot of mistakes. A better main character would have absolutely taken the experience to the next level though.

The film starts off by introducing us to Kees who has worked hard as a Clerk for many years. He’s really been hoping that some day he could get a promotion and move up a bit considering all of his loyalty. Well, his plans are dashed when his boss decides to run off with all of the money and basically doom Kees. Well, Kees has had enough of that and he murders the guy. Granted, he wasn’t intending to murder him initially although he was approaching that guy in a threatening manner but the boss falls into the ocean and Kees doesn’t help him. Now Kees has a briefcase filled with lots of money and he can finally live out the adventurous life that he has always wanted. His first stop is to meet up with the lady that the boss was running away with and have an affair.

For context, keep in mind that this guy is married with kids so right off the bat we know that he has no morals here. A life of adventure is all fine and well as a family, like if he had decided to travel with them using the stolen money then you can at least be sympathetic since a lot of the stolen money would have turned into his salary in the future. By doing this and betraying his family you have no sympathy for the guy. The film keeps showing how this guy is a total amateur when it comes to living a life of crime but it’s not like that’s going to have you feel bad for him. No, instead you’re just shaking your head and waiting for him to get his.

At times it feels like Kees is also stacking the deck against himself. A main supporting character is Lucas, who is a detective on the case. They bump into each other a lot and Kees makes himself look incredibly suspicious in every single encounter. In a way you feel more annoyed for Lucas than anything though as the guy absolutely suspects what is going on but just has no proof to confirm it. It’s not like he can just arrest Kees after all. He’s got to go through the process and everything.

Lucas is my favorite character though. He’s at least trying to do the right thing and is very persistent. Just about every other character in the film is really an antagonist so you want him to just arrest everybody. Back to Kees though, he’s just really annoying to follow as a character. He is so desperate to finally have adventure that he basically thinks the main villainess will get together with him just because he has a lot of money now. He’s extremely lucky that she didn’t have him bumped off early on. Kees doesn’t strike me as the kind of guy who can stay strong when getting beat up either so I think he would crack right away.

It seemed like a stretch to be playing the long game here. Michele is a big villain here of course but she’s always been a villain which is why I have more respect for her than Kees. At least she has some dignity and does well in her long term planning. There’s not a lot that I can say to really defend Kees in contrast to that. Meanwhile Louis is another guy who likes Michele and he’s always ready to use violence to solve his problems. Michele has to save Kees from him on several occasions but again I think this was a strategic blunder. Louis would have gotten the answer out of Kees with ease.

Kees is only a tough guy when confronted with someone who can’t fight back. He gets tough with Michele at some points when he’s not being obviously manipulated but Louis would take him down easily. I would have liked to have gotten some closure with his family back home since they really vanish after the opening scenes. If they were portrayed as more antagonistic then that would have maybe helped Kees be a bit more sympathetic but it didn’t work for me. I feel like the film was at least trying to go for that angle but ultimately I did not think that they succeeded here.

Still, the premise was good so I think it would be easy to do a remake of this film that’s actually fairly solid. For starters, he should be a novice at being a criminal but shouldn’t be absolutely helpless. Don’t have him dash towards the villainess hoping to score when there is no reason why he should. It would make much more sense for him to be spending the money a little too loosely when treating himself to some foods and then the villain approaches him. After that he gets suckered of course but at least keeps some dignity. Ultimately it won’t save the character since he’ll still be annoying, but not as bad and that will help the film by extension.

If you are going to go this route though, then you have to make Kees meet a tough end. He absolutely should have been bumped off or scolded a bit more about deserting his family. I’d argue he shouldn’t have gotten any wins by the end either. He should have been outsmarted and then arrested to show how he was not able to keep up with the career criminals. That would have really been a good way to make the story go full circle.

Overall, The movie has a fairly interesting plot about an average guy becoming a big criminal by being in the wrong place at the wrong time but the execution wasn’t totally on point. I think it loses a bit of steam with how utterly corrupt Kees was from the start. Honestly a huge change that would have helped would have been for him not to have a family. That would have even tied well with his not really having much of a life and wasting it all on the job. It could actually make him a whole lot more sympathetic, but that’s just how it goes sometimes I suppose. In some ways I found the opening scenes before the boss died to be the most interesting and having the whole film take place in town could have been more fun. Like Kees has a ton of money and has to spend it carefully without letting anyone know that he’s rich. That would have been pretty interesting.

Overall 5/10

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire Review

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All right it’s time for the next film in the Monsterverse and you can bet that this is going to be a really intense one. Seeing Godzilla and King Kong take the stage again is definitely a lot of fun. The movie delivers on the action and while I would like to have seen Godzilla more, he does get several fights and shows up early so I’ll give the title credit there.

The movie starts off with King Kong running away from a bunch of creatures. He may be the King of this realm but even that has its limits when the numbers disadvantage is drastic enough. Fortunately his traps are enough to stop them and he continues his quest to find other members of his race. He does end up finding a bunch of them but unfortunately they are being led by the Skar King who has the help of a powerful monster known as Shimo. King Kong can’t handle these fighters on his own…it’s time to call in Godzilla.

A good portion of the film is really about setting up the team-up. You have Godzilla travelling across the world and destroying a bunch of Titans in order to stock up his power for the mission. Meanwhile King Kong actually takes a while to meet up with the Skar King as he first defeats a ton of opponents and bonds with one of the smaller creatures. Think of that one as a King Kong Jr in a way. I like the concept of the team-up a lot and my only issue with it is the lack of threat from the villains but more on that later. There is something really hype about seeing Godzilla gearing up like that.

Right up through the into of the hyped Skar King is really intense there. You’re ready for this and he’s even got a throne. From there though….the Skar King’s not a joke by any means but he’s not a final boss. The film makes it clear that he is weaker than King Kong and many times weaker than Godzilla. He would be lucky to last more than a minute against Godzilla and while he can so marginally better against King Kong, he would be taken down in short order. I like his design and fighting style though, they are both excellent but that’s all he has going for him.

Meanwhile Shimo has a really cool design but I’m afraid things aren’t looking good for her either. She seems to be stronger than King Kong by a good margin but still not a complete match for Godzilla. Still, it’s at least closer, my main problem is how she takes orders. I just don’t see this happening to one of the Alphas who would sooner die in resistance. I’d like to see more of Shimo in the future but yeah this film’s main weak point is that you never feel like Godzilla is in danger. Yeah King Kong is, but we need Godzilla to be pushed to his limits too unless you just keep him for the final climax or something.

Now you may be wondering, what about the humans? Well the humans are okay. You’re mostly waiting for them to get off the screen so you can have fun with the Kaiju though. The main plot is about Dr. Ilene’s daughter Jia to start seeing visions about Kaiju and some kind of a message. She hasn’t been fitting well into school anyway so she gets to go on a trip to the Hollow Earth to see what is going on. Jia’s a nice enough character, she means well and does help out a bit.

I’m not really a fan of Ilene though. The fact that she allowed Bernie to get railroaded by corporate despite helping save the world is pretty harsh. I thought that she looked really bad there and I wouldn’t trust her if I was Bernie. Bernie is easily the most likable member of the main cast and his humor moments tend to land the most. At times he can cross the line into being rather cringy and annoying though. Then you have Trapper who is the only one with absolute confidence at all times. I liked seeing him think of different ways to help out and he was always creative.

So the humans as a whole weren’t bad. The writing wasn’t always great but I’ve seen much worse. It can just drain a lot of time, it felt like their plot would just keep on going long past when you figure you’ve got the point of what they were talking about. I would argue King Kong also has a bit too much screen time of just walking around with Kid Kong. I wanted the big action set pieces you know, not the adventure. Also some of his kills against the local creatures were a bit much. I know they’re technically monsters but they did look rather like animals so that was a little dicey. Basically the King Kong survival moments didn’t really help the film go further.

Ultimately I would say it lost to the original Godzilla vs Kong and Godzilla: King of the Monster films for that reason. Still, this is starting to sound negative so lets go back into the positives real quick. First up, the Kaiju designs here are all great. We’re finally talking S rank fighters here. I liked the spider a lot, the underwater Kaiju, etc. Each of Godzilla’s opponents were fun to watch. They were strong but nowhere near his level. This is why Godzilla is King of the Monsters. The difference is made very apparent when nobody wants to challenge Godzilla while everyone is trying to test King Kong.

One annoying thing about Godzilla being this powerful though is that the film has to constantly make him miss with the atomic breath. After all the fight would be over the instant he scores a direct hit on any of the enemies. Then the film acknowledges his Atomic Wave attack but he conveniently doesn’t use it in any of the big battles because it would end the movie. So I admire the attempt to try and keep this even but we all know Godzilla would have stomped everyone in this film. It’s why I thought it was a bit of a stretch how Shimo kept ducking him and landing sneak attacks on Kong. I don’t know about that but Godzilla’s strength was respected and I always like that.

The film does have a bit of an odd plot point with Godzilla being drawn to a signal the whole film and gearing up but by the end of the film some characters think he wasn’t going to make it. The simplest solution if you ask me is that the researchers were wrong and Godzilla was on the way. I can buy into that, particularly since in the last film we saw how he knows how to get to the Hollow Earth by just blasting into the ground. So that’s how I would answer that at least.

I’m surprised the government hasn’t made another Kaiju of their own yet. Mecha Godzilla did very well after all and they should be able to reverse engineer the specs at some point. It might have made things cluttered but it’s time to see the army do something different. I felt like chuckling when they sent some plans to go and take down Godzilla. I mean, are you kidding me?? It goes without saying that the special effects are excellent here. I also thought the soundtrack was good. I’d have liked some electronic type tunes like Godzilla Final Wars but I’ll take what we can get here.

The film delivers on the team up and I’d argue the final fight already makes the whole experience work pretty well. It’s an excellent spectacle and the decision to have the fight be in the real world was a great idea. In the Hollow Earth things tend to be a lot bigger so you can’t always appreciate the scale while in the real world you get to see everything get destroyed.

While this can sound like a bit of a diss, the film is really playing to its strengths when there is a lot of destruction on screen. I’m really here for the Kaiju fights and those go really hard. I could easily watch 2 hours of the Kaiju just fighting among each other. It’s incredibly entertaining and just great at all times. I’m definitely ready to see what they do for the next film in this series. Hopefully we don’t have to wait too long for it.

Overall, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is a pretty good film. All it would have needed to cross the threshold into great territory would have been to have one of the enemies actually be powerful relative to Godzilla. You feel like Godzilla would beat them 2 on 1, much less when he has King Kong at the ready. There are a lot of fun easter eggs to the series and you even get to see an unexpected character. So that was great and it also shows that there are a lot of elements already ready for that future film. I think it’s time for a Destroy All Monsters adaption with Destoroyah as the final boss now.

Overall 7/10

The Magnetic Monster Review

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All right so I know that right out of the gate you are probably expecting some giant monster running around and crushing everyone right? Well this isn’t that kind of movie and instead I would say it’s more of a brainy kind of film where the heroes have to figure out how to use science to save the day. It works well and is a pretty fun film with a good script and solid pacing. I’d call it more of a slow burn that mainly just works because everything was handled well. If the writing wasn’t as good then of course this movie would not have ended up being very good. It rides or dies with the writing.

The first thing you should know is that the film is quite short so this allows things to move rather quickly. It’s barely over an hour and that works out well since the plot is rather simple. There is a phenomenon taking place that is causing everything to be magnetized. It happens suddenly and causes a lot of trouble for one store. The A-men, a group of powerful scientists who look into this kind of thing are sent to investigate. Sure enough, there is a mysterious force at work here and eventually they narrow it down. It turns out that one scientist was meddling with nature a little too much and created a sentient energy that is eating other kinds of energy. It can cause implosions and is generally too powerful to be contained. The main characters will have to think of something fast or it’s all over.

I have to say that my first thought here was that it reminded me a whole lot of Ghostbusters. Even the way the office was set up gave me those kind of vibes. Sure this is more science-based than supernatural but they have all kinds of fancy equipment and pull out a variety of objects from their bags. Also getting a fancy title like “The A-Men” makes them stick out a whole lot. The movie may not be part comedy but it has a fairly light hearted tone to it as well which only serves to further add to that effect.

The brief romance moments we get with the main character and his wife tend to be on the cheesier side to be honest but I’ll let it slide as the moments are quick and it’s not like they’re that bad or anything like that. It just feels like the film isn’t quite as confident in writing those scenes as it is in the main part of the film. Also you get that the whole film can’t be tense with this living energy but it almost feels a bit out of place to have the main couple talking about finances halfway during the film when the danger isn’t quite over yet. A funny scene that did land was when the cab driver was affected by the magnetic pull and handled the situation well. He didn’t lose his cool and had a lot of info to give the heroes.

This is the kind of film where the narrator steps in to fill in the blanks on details in the story and whenever we have a quick jump. I would say that worked well. One thing I would have liked to have seen more of was the energy itself though. Lets get some big speeches about why humanity has to be destroyed and stuff like that. I’d also like to see more out of the super computer (“MANIAC”) who got absolutely crushed here. Especially with how old this film is I would say that approached some sci-fi levels as well. It was sort of like the Bat Computer from the old comic book films but even then the super computer lost so fast that it really couldn’t keep any kind of hype.

Now, like I said this is a slow burn film so you do have to enjoy the plot. You’re going to have numerous scenes of the characters just talking about the energy and what this means for science. There isn’t a lot of action for most of the film and a lot of times the magnetic energy is being rather harmless. It’s part of the scare factor though as you never know when it’s going to suddenly just blow up a building or something. Those moments really come out of the blue. Naturally it’s also off screen since the effects for that would have probably been rather tricky.

So you are here for the writing and the banter is solid. You have some disagreements with the characters and some tough talk but for the most part they are all on the same side so they are all trying to be helpful. I could definitely appreciate that. There isn’t really much room for human villains here. I’d say the scientist on the plane is the closest thing to it because he was generally not helpful with keeping secrets the way that he was. He put a ton of people in danger without having a great reason for it. Things could have definitely gone sideways very easily.

The scary thing is that ultimately you could say the energy probably got the last laugh here. Everyone is probably filled with radiation at this point and their lives will have been shortened in the process. It’s definitely rough but I suppose that’s how it goes sometimes. At least in the meantime you can take the happy ending at face value. At least they are all alive.

Overall, The Magnetic Monster may not be a film that is nearly as exciting as its title but at the same time I would say that it is still a pretty good film. It’s the kind of film that keeps you engaged all the while you are watching it. You aren’t likely to talk about it much in the future or anything like that but the very basic nature of the film means that it has a ton of replay value. You can go back and watch it at any time and it’s so short that it will fly by in an instant. Now there is the sign of a good film. I would recommend checking this out if you’re looking for a basic sci-fi film that executes the story well.

Overall 7/10

So Long at the Fair Review

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This is one of those films where I have to say that the title is really clever. Right out of the gate when the plot starts you gotta let out a quick chuckle there. It works really well. As for the film itself, I’d say it’s solid. In some ways it’s the kind of film that I do think could have been executed a bit better and has been, but it’s a fun story all the way. It’s filled with some thrills and chills as the mystery intensifies but my main problem is that you aren’t quite as invested in the missing character as you could be.

The film starts with Vicky and her brother Johnny visiting Paris. Vicky is super psyched to be here and wants to try out all of the activities and visit different places. Johnny is bored and irritated the whole time but she talks him into it. He’s more concerned about his work to be honest and he’s not feeling too well. They have a good time and retire for the night but the next day Johnny is gone. In fact his whole room appears to have disappeared and everybody says that he doesn’t even exit. Vicky has walked into some kind of conspiracy but is she ready to handle it?

So I would say that Vicky is the weakest part of the film. I get not being experienced in this kind of situation of course but she has a tendency to faint and panic at every step. The villains outmaneuver her at all points and she doesn’t really stick up for herself. I get not just punching everyone out since this isn’t a 2020s film but I think she could be a little more forceful about the whole thing. Her brother has been vanished after all which means he is likely murdered or about to be. You have to take drastic steps at this point.

She’s a little overly emotional as well. So I’m quite critical of her the whole time. She is going through a rather stressful situation of course so I cut her some slack but yeah it’s a good thing that she gets help from George later. Now this guy does fairly well for himself and is able to take that aggressive position I was hoping for. He’s going on secret missions like he is James Bond and doesn’t take no for an answer. His natural confidence and smooth behavior helps a lot here.

The only dent I would put against him is it wasn’t really necessary to kiss Vicky in the hotel room as a cover. I’d say he took advantage of the situation there and this film didn’t actually need any kind of romance. Lets focus on the suspense and adventure instead! He’s still the MVP of the film though since everyone else was generally unhelpful. I’d also say that the villains got really lucky here that nobody was paying attention and Johnny didn’t talk to many people. Otherwise it would be incredibly difficult to hide such a conspiracy.

It’s not as bad as a film where this happens on a plane since that was just absurd but this goes to similar extremes. I don’t see how so much work was done without anyone noticing especially in a place as busy as Paris. I guess the hotel could be a little dead at times but ehhhh it stretched my disbelief a bit. This kind of plot does usually revolve around a little disbelief of course though and it has less than others so it wasn’t too bad.

Like I said earlier though, one of the only weaknesses here is that you don’t really care about Johnny much. The ending of the film should be really sad and yet you barely care. I feel like the film is more about the thrill of the mystery and finding out what happened whereas in other films you would be equally invested in the final fate of the one who vanished. I’m cool with this though because the chase is most of the film. Trying to connect the dots and see what happened. I also appreciate that Vicky didn’t let herself be gaslit into thinking that he didn’t come along or that he left early though. Now that would have been absolutely crazy.

There aren’t many supporting characters who get involved here. One of them certainly meets a rather explosive end which come to think of it, is also another bit of a stretch. It’s just such a big move. I guess it’s realistic in terms of a villain would do this of course but then the ending should be harsher. You have the main cop saying he understands why the villains did this and all that in a rather somber tone. Someone should remind him that these villains were ruthlessly murdering people. I guess it’s possible that he hasn’t connected the dots yet but yeah the ending should have been tougher there. If the film was longer then I would have liked for it to lean into the conspiracy angle a bit more.

The film is a bit trapped between the movie being rather ambitious but also staying small scale. Like this isn’t a huge gangster battle or some kind of illuminati opponent but at the same time the villains are able to make lots of moves in a short amount of time and do seem to think of everything. They have people tailing Vicky for a while and are also able to bump off people but this ends up not being super widespread. I think it would have been a good idea for the film to have been a little more ambitious.

At the end of the day the writing is good though and that is the foundation of a solid movie. I would have liked a tougher main character but that’s still not going to take away from the film being a solid watch. Particularly considering how old the movie is, I would say that it did quite a lot. I was satisfied here. It may not be as scary as it may have initially appeared but it keeps your attention.

Overall, This is a pretty fun film. It’s also a rather short one so it ends right away. This does allow for some really fast pacing which is always nice and it’s probably for the best. A good mystery is limited only by the writer’s imagination so of course this could be stretched to 3 hours but I thought the length fit the movie rather well. There’s only so much you could do with this film before it would start to go in circles or something without more characters and locations. At the end of the day it is a movie that has aged well so I would recommend checking it out.

Overall 7/10

The Bad News Bears Review

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Whenever you think of the Bad News Bears you figure you’re in for one of the toughest teams on the block. What you don’t realize is that they aren’t delivering bad news…they are the bad news! Now there’s a twist if I’ve ever heard of one right? It’s a comedy film that can be pretty fun at times but ultimately doesn’t quite do enough to get much higher than that. It will keep you entertained but won’t be a film that you’re clamoring to watch again. One playthrough is really enough for this one.

The film starts with Morris being paid to coach a kid’s baseball team. He’s not really interested at all but the money’s good and that’s what counts. He intends to give this the minimum amount of effort so he keeps on drinking all day and generally not being very helpful. What makes him even less interested is that nobody on the team even knows how to play. They are all scrubs and they even lose the first game by over 20 points. Still, the disrespect is just too much and so Morris decides that he’s going to turn this team into a bunch of winners. Is he really doing this for them though…or for himself? That’s the tough question here.

So most of the comedy here is in how bad the team is of course and how over the top Morris is in terms of being a completely inappropriate coach. It tends to work most of the time which is what keeps the film in the green. Morris has a lot of fun facial expressions the whole time and the subtle bits of character humor also work really well. Then when his competitive spirit gets going, you still have fun because of course he doesn’t know how to handle success well. I would say the film tends to ride or die based on how much you enjoy his character.

I’d say a weakness of the film tends to be the ending and any moment where it tries to take itself too seriously. The movie can’t quite handle these moments. For example, at one point Morris and Amanda have a big fight. She wants to hang out with him and at least develop a small bond but he shoots her down. Mainly the problem here is that he’s way too rude and goes too far. From that point on there is no way you can root for him to win or do well as a coach. It’s understandable that he doesn’t want to create any bonds right now but she is a child and he could have handled that a million times better. I just had no respect for him after that scene, he was just awful.

If I was Amanda I probably would have ditched the team after that tbh. Good luck winning without a pitcher! She has all of the leverage in this dynamic and ultimately she still does get injured with how hard she was playing. She’s easily one of the most likable characters here and I felt like things didn’t go great for her. Then you have the rival Kelly who is a delinquent but knows how to play so they let him on the team. He is actually very good and along with Amanda is a huge reason on why they go far. So what do the rest of the teammates do about this? They get upset at him and basically cause a bunch of trouble for no reason.

I don’t think they were justified in any way and come across as a bunch of jerks. I’ve never liked when a bunch of characters turn on someone without even giving the character a chance. At least talk to him and explain why you are upset instead of becoming all passive aggressive and sulking the whole time. That doesn’t help anyone. It’s just blowing a bunch of hot air at that point. Yeah that’s not a good thing to do. So everywhere I look, there are reasons to root against the team.

Then the kicker is the climax as we get the teamwork message. It is worth sacrificing your chance at winning the championship if you can get everyone having fun. The main problem with this kind of message is that most people don’t have any fun when they lose. In fact, if you lose the championship and you are the reason why your team lost, then you’re going to feel absolutely lousy. Morris should have had the weaker kids start early in the first inning so they could play before benching them. I just disagree with the theory on its face.

It’s selfish to sacrifice everything when the championship is something that is so hard to obtain in the first place. Again, the kids weren’t very grateful or anything so maybe it works out anyway but it was still annoying to watch. The whole second half of the film is kind of annoying come to think of it. Even the opponent coach hits a kid and gets off without any real consequences. He’s back to laughing and feeling good about himself by the end because he’s winning and there’s nothing the heroes can do about it. Sure you could say the family leaving are some consequences but I’d rather he have gotten punched or something.

So maybe the most direct way to put this is that the film had a bit of a mean streak to it. It was funny during the early comedic moments of everyone messing up and looking terrible but once the film got serious, it would just go too far. The film needed to have a little more restraint the whole time and personally I would change the ending. Not necessarily to a big win or anything like that but I wouldn’t have made the team effectively throw the match.

Overall, The Bad News Bears brings bad tidings to its viewers by the end. It’s entertaining enough where I could still say that it is a good movie, but certainly not a very good one. I wouldn’t be in a rush to rewatch this film and I have to hope that the sequels stick the landing a bit better. Just lean a bit more into the comedy and I’m sure you could do a lot with a Baseball title like this. I do have a good time with sport films after all and Baseball is the kind of sport that should translate well into a movie with so many characters running around.

Overall 6/10

One Touch of Venus Review

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It’s time for a romance musical film. The latter doesn’t really become an element for a while but you can be sure that the romance is here from the jump. It’s a pretty interesting scenario since it’s sort of like the classic wish fulfillment scenario but with the main character trying his best to get out of it. He looks rather awful in this movie to be honest but there are some decent laughs to be had here. Is it a good movie though?…wellllllllllll I’d probably have to say no on that.

The movie starts off with Savory being really excited to show the world the giant Venus statue that he got. He ordered it a long time ago and put a fortune into obtaining it. Unfortunately the curtain on the display isn’t working so he sends one of his employees over to fix it before the unveiling. This employee’s name is Hatch and he’s not very talented, smart, or reasonable. He also gets drunk extremely easily. So Hatch does some drinking on the job and decides to kiss the statue before fixing the curtain. What he doesn’t realize is that he has just awakened the goddess of love, Venus up from her slumber. Venus is now ready to enjoy life and has fallen in love with Hatch. The problem is that Hatch is super afraid of her and now the boss believes that he has stolen the statue.

Hatch is an annoying character from the jump. First off, he has a girlfriend in Gloria already but the guy keeps her distant because he doesn’t want to get married. If you just started dating then sure it’s probably good to get to know each other for a while before you’re married. Date for a few months or something and then you’re all good. The problem here is that it feels more like Hatch is just scared of commitment and instead of having an honest conversation with Gloria about it, his first instinct is to just run. Not a very responsible or mature thing to do right?

He does the same thing with Venus. He literally faints the first time and then after that he spends most of the film panicking and running around. If he was at least 100% dedicated to Gloria and was just trying to reject Venus then that would be one thing but he still weakens in several instances which just makes him look really bad. Yes, Venus does passively increase the desire of love within everyone she is around but you need to be able to resist those abilities with your willpower. I don’t accept any excuses in this kind of thing. You either stay strong or you don’t, I’m afraid there is no middle ground here.

Savory may be one of the antagonists here but he has a lot more flair than Hatch. When he meets Venus he does his best to impress her to the point of appearing desperate. He is quick to help others out and yeah he’s not exactly a superhero but he seems like a reasonable guy. I know with the Molly subplot he could be a bit oblivious but she wasn’t super direct either so I’d put that on both of them 50/50. You even feel bad for him a bit when Venus is obviously using him by the end. She didn’t need to do all that but of course at the end of the day it’s on him for falling for that.

Molly gets a fairly happy ending though. I was glad that at the end she wasn’t going to throw Hatch under the bus during the big misunderstanding. At the end of the day she is a good person with her own standards. She may have been a bit too cold and cryptic to the point of sabotaging herself for a while there but she was fun to root for. She always had a few cold one liners at the ready to toss around.

Venus is possibly a big antagonist depending on how much control you think she has over her love abilities. If she is pro actively trying to get Gloria and Joe together so she has Hatch then of course that is antagonist behavior. If it’s more passive then that’s not as bad. The film hints to the former though, particularly since she can use her other abilities at will. She is quite powerful in this film as she can really do anything that her heart desires. Quite a fun ability, I think anyone would really agree to that.

She is willing to charm her way to victory and use people though which is always a trait that I dislike in any character. Her overall confidence is fun enough but the manipulation isn’t cool. So yeah I wasn’t rooting for her here since the whole romance wasn’t build upon great circumstances from the start and she could have used her powers for a lot of better purposes. I wasn’t a big fan of Gloria either though since she rebounded with Joe so quickly. Yeah they’re both possibly being influenced and all but you have to fight it.

Gloria has a boyfriend and Joe’s the guy’s friend. These are both massive taboos so you can’t just ignore that when you feel like it. No sirrrrrr, that was not a good move. That whole subplot is pretty sad whenever it shows up on screen so the romance as a whole is lacking like I mentioned. The film is at its best when it’s embracing the craziness of the whole situation. Every time Hatch would break past the cops I was having a of fun there. It’s silly and over the top but it’s charming with no strings attached.

It made for some decent chase scenes. I also generally enjoyed Venus and Hatch running around and having to hide from everyone. Yeah it’s a bit cheesy but again this is what the film should have been like the whole time. It takes itself so seriously despite the outlandish plot and this being a musical. Also, the songs aren’t all that good. None of them stand out at all and that’s my main problem with a lot of old school music like this. They tend to sound the same and aren’t fast paced or action enough to really take the movie to the next level. There aren’t a ton of songs compared to other musicals though so even if you don’t like musicals then you should be okay as long as you enjoy the story.

Overall, One Touch of Venus is an interesting film. It can be a little funny to see Hatch just panicking and fumbling the bag in every instance. He always finds a way to get himself into bigger and bigger trouble by making himself sound crazy. At the same time, it does mean that he can also be a really annoying main character. It’s hard to root for someone who is his own worst enemy. The film doesn’t drag on though and for the most part it is fun. So I’m leaving it at the midway point here. It’s good enough where you won’t be bored or anything while watching it but at the same time it’s not like you can really root for any of the romances and the characters are all mainly annoying.

Overall 5/10

The Time Travelers Review

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It’s time for a movie that’s definitely more on the disappointing side. It’s not like I had massive hopes for it or anything like that but a film about time travel should always be exciting. Instead this one was just more of a let down. A lot of the time there was nothing going on in the movie and it felt like the story was constantly stalling for time. That is absolutely not the right way to make a good impression and so even the ending doesn’t land as well as it should have.

The film starts with a bunch of scientists working on their time device. They want to be able to peer into different time periods but they are using up a lot of energy and have no results. Danny is sent in there to tell them to cut it out but they try one more test. This time it works, only better than they expected. The “window” doesn’t just let them view other times, it actually lets them jump in as well. Now they are all trapped in the future with no way to get home. This is already bad but it turns out that the world is about to end. They will have to rely on the help of other scientists from the future who are rather suspicious.

The story sounds a lot more interesting than it actually is. You’ve got a whole race of brutes running across the planet and then you have “Deviants” who are part brute, part human. Stuff happened along with the mass bombing of the planet that caused people to not develop so much and this really split humanity. There’s a story somewhere in here about rebelling against this tyranny but there’s just no time. We already missed the collapse of modern civilization and these are the last scientists on the planet either way.

The brutes are also surprisingly weak. Guess how the main characters get them to go away…..they throw rocks at them. Yeah this is enough to make them retreat. It really makes no sense no matter how the film tries to spin it. I couldn’t believe how the whole crowd backed off from the main fighters because of this. There are some action scenes once in a while during the movie but never for long. You don’t need this for a time travel movie but at the same time it means that I couldn’t really take the villains all that seriously.

Then we also have some random fanservice near the middle of the movie. The scene has absolutely no point being in here and you could say that about quite a few other scenes. The film takes us through the long process of building and fixing androids. I imagine they will have been doing this for a very long time because these androids are super flimsy. I’d trust Flippy the modern burger A.I. over some of these things. The brutes destroy them with ease. Couldn’t the scientists have taught the robots to throw rocks or something?

Now in part this is a problem with the film being so old but the so called high tech civilization don’t really feel that advanced. They’re also not very reasonable but that’s just human nature so I could roll with that. The only thing I will defend them on is not wanting to alter the plan to leave the planet. They already spent years getting the perfect window set up and it’s reasonable to assume that they would be obliterated by the villains if they stay for much longer. So it sucks for the main scientists but they can’t exactly wait for them.

This could all be very fascinating if you didn’t have to sit through 20 minutes of comedy music while the heroes walk around the base doing nothing. It felt like the script for this film was only around 30 minutes so they really had to stretch this for as long as possible. Not a good idea by any stretch of the imagination. Again, the story itself is very interesting but it was executed in the worst way possible. The film’s biggest error is really that it can just get rather boring at times. That shouldn’t be possible for a time travel film. It should be extremely engaging and fascinating the whole time.

The pacing is just so bad. The film’s not even very long but it sure feels like a lengthy epic as a result of the decisions made here. I was shaking my head the whole time. Lets quickly list the cool concepts the movie had that weren’t explored much at all. 1. The warring factions with the brutes, 2. The poor guy in the middle of this who is shunned by humans and monsters. How did he even break into the ship? 3. The guy who was trigger happy from the future scientists. I felt like he was going to get a much bigger role, etc. There was a ton of meat left on the table for this movie.

The only part of the film that I will give some decent credit for being original is the ending. Sure, it’s something you may have seen before in some way or another but it’s not an option that tends to be picked. So actually seeing this ending was pretty fun and makes a whole lot of sense. It all depends on the rules for time travel that the verse picks but this is one that’s always interesting and works to prevent any kind of a paradox. The ending alone isn’t worth watching the film of course but if you are intrigued, this could help enhance the movie just a little bit.

Overall, The Time Travelers is not a very good film. It spends way too much time on filler moments and not actually advancing the plot. Every time the heroes would take a break to just marvel at the future I would get annoyed. Particularly since none of the stuff was all that impressive either. None of the characters really stand out either and the film’s weak attempt at a romance here falls flat. Yeah you’re really not missing much by skipping this film. It will ultimately stay forgotten.

Overall 4/10

My Blue Heaven Review

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All right it’s time for another retro film as we go way back to 1950 on this one. It’s an old school musical with a whole lot of songs so you don’t have to worry about running out of those. Unfortunately the main character loses a lot of points by the end and the characters definitely don’t always make the right moves.

The movie starts with Kitty and Jack having a big celebration because they are finally having a kid. Everything is looking really good until they are in a car crash and Kitty loses the baby. Now her only option is adoption but the orphanage doesn’t think people in the TV business like Kitty and Jack would make for good parents. They need to find some way to get a kid though but what can they do. What even are their options at this point? One thing’s for sure, if they get too desperate they may end up getting into trouble.

I can see why it would be a bit of a tougher sell for the orphanage on a couple like Kitty and Jack who both work. Especially back in 1950 when this was far less common. It would mean they would need to hire a baby sitter and as we saw later in the film, that’s not always a good option. So the orphanage may have been onto something at least to a small percent although of course the main couple actually was responsible. They just didn’t leave a great first impression.

Where they got a bit too desperate was when they decided to do this behind the books. They went to some shady people at the back of a restaurant and ignored a ton of red flags in order to take the baby. Jack in particular messed up on this one since they had been leaving when his willpower weakened. The film mainly tries to dodge this plot for later on with an easy resolution when that could have really gone sideways.

Jack’s biggest mistake was cheating on Kitty with a younger actress known as Gloria. That whole scene was crazy and completely dooms his character. The fact that he wasn’t even fighting by the end and seemed eager for more before Kitty walked in was just sad. Yeah he got his excuses lined up and we can assume it’s all happily ever after but it’s just unfortunate how he proved all of the friends and neighbors right. They figured he couldn’t be trusted by himself and well, he couldn’t. The guy was practically encouraging Gloria by the end.

So yeah he looks pretty bad throughout. Kitty fares better in the film but has her own share of issues like when she allows the hired help to boss her around. Kitty brought in a nurse for when she has to go to work but she lets this person boss her around during the day to the point where she isn’t allowed to hold her own baby? That makes absolutely no sense, it’s just completely backwards. Yeah that’s not very smart and at least eventually she fired that person.

The main cast is rather small but there are a few supporting characters. The main two important ones would be the other couple who are always around to cause some trouble. Whether it’s by finding shady deals for more babies or throwing a party which doomed the odds for the first try, something is always going on here. They don’t always have a lot of tact and the party going on for so long is part of why the main duo crashes in the first place. Technically this influence ended up being a net negative for the main characters.

One thing that doesn’t really help the film is that none of the music is all that good. It’s a big contrast to the writing where I tend to enjoy older films for how the writing style was but I tend to dislike or be generally indifferent to older style music. Give me concert type films over musicals any day as those tend to have a lot more life to them. At the end of the day this one really could not keep up. I won’t really remember any of the tunes by the next day.

The baby scenes don’t really do anything for me in terms of helping the film or being funny so the film has to try and have a blast around those moments. The dog was nice though and always good to see. Whenever a pet appears in a film without an action context or anything then I can generally be assured that it’s going to enhance the movie. There should be no risk of anything negative happening to the pup after all. I also appreciated the maid who was a fun character. Honestly she got the roughest bit of things because the characters were never really being all that nice to her or embracing he positive energy that she was throwing out. That’s definitely something that they need to work on.

If I could do something differently here, it’s that I would have focused more on the main characters’ radio career. I think those shows have a lot of potential to them, far more than the TV versions. On the radio it’s all audio so no reason to be running around with all these big productions. Instead it’s more about telling a good story and being dramatic. The opening segment about the IRS for example was better than any of the shows that came before it. Don’t introduce Gloria a a character and I think you’ve got a whole lot going on here to be a big success.

Overall, My Blue Heaven is a film that definitely throws a lot at the main characters. Some of the problems are self inflicted while others are really outside of their control. As with most musicals the songs themselves aren’t all that good but the film does have a chipper feel to it the whole time. Jack ultimately cracking and giving in to the dark side keeps this film from going above breaking even, particularly with how easy he was let off. Still, if you want to check out an old school musical then this could be the one that is up your alley. Just don’t expect great characters or anything like that.

Overall 4/10