Tag Archives: Retro

NES Remix Pack Stats and Records

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Stats time!

Play Time 12h 44m

Remix 1

Stars 429/591
B Points 37949
Stamps 78/100

Remix 2

Stars 359/477
B Points 39181
Stamps 83/100

Game Stats

Remix 1:

“Remix 1” 58/75 Stars
Stage 1 2/3
Stage 2 2/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 2/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 1/3
Stage 8 2/3
Stage 9 2/3
Stage 10 3/3
Stage 11 2/3
Stage 12 3/3
Stage 13 3/3
Stage 14 2/3
Stage 15 2/3
Stage 16 1/3
Stage 17 2/3
Stage 18 3/3
Stage 19 3/3
Stage 20 3/3
Stage 21 3/3
Stage 22 2/3
Stage 23 3/3
Stage 24 2/3
Stage 25 1/3

Remix 2 49/75 Stars
Stage 1 1/2
Stage 2 2/3
Stage 3 1/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 1/3
Stage 8 2/3
Stage 9 2/3
Stage 10 3/3
Stage 11 3/3
Stage 12 2/3
Stage 13 1/3
Stage 14 2/3
Stage 15 3/3
Stage 16 –
Stage 17 1/3
Stage 18 3/3
Stage 19 1/3
Stage 20 3/3
Stage 21 2/3
Stage 22 1/3
Stage 23 3/3
Stage 24 2/3
Stage 25 1/3

Bonus 18/75
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 –
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 –
Stage 5 –
Stage 6 –
Stage 7 3/3
Stage 8 –
Stage 9 3/3
Stage 10 –
Stage 11 3/3
Stage 12 3/3
Stage 13 –
Stage 14-
Stage 15-
Stage 16-
Stage 17-
Stage 18-
Stage 19-
Stage 20-
Stage 21-
Stage 22-
Stage 23-
Stage 24-
Stage 25 –

Donkey Kong 20/21
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 2/3

Donkey Kong Jr 17/21
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 1/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 2/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 2/3

Mario Bros 22/30
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 1/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 1/3
Stage 8 1/3
Stage 9 1/3
Stage 10 3/3

Pinball 18/18
Perfect

Golf 7/21
Stage 1 1/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 –
Stage 5 –
Stage 6 –
Stage 7 –

Clu Clu Land 20/24
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 1/3
Stage 7 3/3
Stage 8 1/3

Excitebike 22/30
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 1/3
Stage 4 1/3
Stage 5 2/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 3/3
Stage 8 3/3
Stage 9 –
Stage 10 3/3

Balloon Fight 37/39
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 3/3
Stage 8 3/3
Stage 9 2/3
Stage 10 3/3
Stage 11 3/3
Stage 12 3/3
Stage 13 2/3

Ice Climbers 27/30
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 2/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 3/3
Stage 8 1/3
Stage 9 3/3
Stage 10 3/3

Wrecking Crew 27/33
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 1/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 3/3
Stage 8 3/3
Stage 9 1/3
Stage 10 2/3
Stage 11 2/3

Super Mario Bros 52/69
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 1/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 1/3
Stage 7 2/3
Stage 8 3/3
Stage 9 3/3
Stage 10 2/3
Stage 11 1/3
Stage 12 1/3
Stage 13 3/3
Stage 14 3/3
Stage 15 2/3
Stage 16 3/3
Stage 17 2/3
Stage 18 3/3
Stage 19 1/3
Stage 20 1/3
Stage 21 2/3
Stage 22 3/3
Stage 23 3/3

Legend of Zelda 35/51
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 2/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 1/3
Stage 8 3/3
Stage 9 2/3
Stage 10 2/3
Stage 11 3/3
Stage 12 2/3
Stage 13 2/3
Stage 14 3/3
Stage 15 –
Stage 16 –
Stage 17 –

Remix 2 Best Championship Score 0199980

Remix 2 Game Stats

Remix 1 49/60
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 2/3
Stage 3 2/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 2/3
Stage 7 3/3
Stage 8 2/3
Stage 9 3/3
Stage 10 1/3
Stage 11 2/3
Stage 12 2/3
Stage 13 3/3
Stage 14 3/3
Stage 15 3/3
Stage 16 3/3
Stage 17 3/3
Stage 18 –
Stage 19 3/3
Stage 20 3/3

Remix 2 46/60
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 2/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 –
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 3/3
Stage 8 3/3
Stage 9 2/3
Stage 10 1/3
Stage 11 3/3
Stage 12 3/3
Stage 13 2/3
Stage 14 3/3
Stage 15 3/3
Stage 16 2/3
Stage 17 –
Stage 18 3/3
Stage 19 3/3
Stage 20 1/3

Bonus 29/60
Stage 1 2/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 2/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 2/3
Stage 8 –
Stage 9 3/3
Stage 10 3/3
Stage 11 2/3
Stage 12 –
Stage 13 3/3
Stage 14 –
Stage 15 –
Stage 16 –
Stage 17 –
Stage 18 –
Stage 19 –
Stage 20 –

Mario Bros Lost Levels 10/21
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 1/3
Stage 3 1/3
Stage 4 1/3
Stage 5 1/3
Stage 6 2/3
Stage 7 1/3

Metroid 32/36
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 2/3
Stage 8 2/3
Stage 9 3/3
Stage 10 2/3
Stage 11 3/3
Stage 12 2/3

Kid Icarus 18/24
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 1/3
Stage 4 2/3
Stage 5 1/3
Stage 6 2/3
Stage 7 3/3
Stage 8 3/3

Adventure of Link 26/30
Stage 1 2/3
Stage 2 2/3
Stage 3 2/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 3/3
Stage 8 2/3
Stage 9 3/3
Stage 10 3/3

Punchout 18/21

Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 2/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 2/3
Stage 7 2/3

Mario Bros 3 42/48
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 2/3
Stage 7 2/3
Stage 8 3/3
Stage 9 3/3
Stage 10 1/3
Stage 11 3/3
Stage 12 3/3
Stage 13 3/3
Stage 14 3/3
Stage 15 1/3
Stage 16 3/3

Dr Mario 13/18
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 –
Stage 4 2/3
Stage 5 2/3
Stage 6 3/3

Super Mario Bros 2 32/36
Stage 1 2/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 3/3
Stage 5 3/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 2/3
Stage 8 3/3
Stage 9 3/3
Stage 10 3/3
Stage 11 1/3
Stage 12 3/3

Kirby’s Adventure 31/39
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 1/3
Stage 4 1/3
Stage 5 1/3
Stage 6 3/3
Stage 7 2/3
Stage 8 3/3
Stage 9 3/3
Stage 10 2/3
Stage 11 3/3
Stage 12 3/3
Stage 13 3/3

Wario’s Woods 13/24
Stage 1 3/3
Stage 2 3/3
Stage 3 3/3
Stage 4 2/3
Stage 5 2/3
Stage 6 –
Stage 7 –
Stage 8 –

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Beach Blanket Bingo Review

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It’s time to look at my first ever Beach film. Naturally you can probably already imagine how this played out. I’m not really a big fan of the token beach episode in most TV shows so a whole film centered around the place can get a little tricky. It’s not a terrible movie, but I wouldn’t call it a particularly good one either. It falls into all of the usual beach traps and so it’s a film that you will want to avoid.

The film starts off with everyone hanging out on the beach and basically going past the friend zone the whole time. The film then lets us know what the title actually means as essentially whenever you go to the Beach you’re playing a game of Bingo and when you end up with someone new you have won the Bingo. With the insane amount of rebounding going on here I am certainly not surprised to see something like this going on. Still, it’s no wonder why Dee Dee and Frankie are always acting super jealous. If they let their guard down for even a few minutes their partner might leave with someone else. These beach adventures continue until a celebrity named Sugar shows up for a publicity stunt. Dee Dee realizes that she is losing Frankie to the new girl and a gang of thugs are also around to keep things tense. Will the teenagers be able to use their wicked dance moves to keep everyone in line or is it all over for them?

So, it’s pretty self explanatory why the beach setting is no good. The film gives us constant closeups of the characters in their attire with camera angles that would even make SAO season 2 back up. The film never actually tries to take the high road. The characters are all just getting together throughout the film and with no regard for how public displays of affection can be annoying to the others around them. Granted, the teenagers here are so busy making catcalls and whistling that they don’t really care all that much. If anything they seem glad to watch.

Getting past the beach shenanigans, the cast of characters isn’t particularly impressive. First up is Frankie who can’t help but take a double look at every girl who passes him. At times it seems like he is messing with Dee Dee, but it’s hard to say by the end. At least he took a firm stance against one of the characters who was after him, but that’s about it. He didn’t really do anything to dismiss Sugar and only got lucky because she went for a quick rebound with Bonehead. There’s nothing to particularly like about Frankie. At most, it’s nice that he’s sarcastic to everyone and always has a witty comeback at the ready. He even messed with Steve so much that Steve made a lot of threats, but never ended up actually doing anything. Personally I think he was probably just too nervous at that point and realized that not making a move was his safest bet.

Dee Dee isn’t great either since she is a little too forgiving with Frankie. He actually tells her that she should stay in the kitchen instead of sky diving with him. She manages to prove him wrong and performs the stunt, but he’s never all that supportive. I guess besides sticking with Frankie she is a reasonable character. She definitely seems a lot more loyal than him.

Sugar is one of the main characters in the spotlight here as she gets a few solo songs. This is a musical after all so we can’t forget that. However she does appear to be very naive. The thugs break into her house and she doesn’t care even when they tell her that she is being kidnapped. She just plays pool with them anyway. Then she is rescued by Steve, but gives Bonehead the credit and they quickly become a couple. I guess she just forgot how Bonehead (That name is certainly interesting) just ditched her on the beach during the night to go chase a mermaid and how he ignored her throughout the entire party. Yeah, Sugar definitely doesn’t seem like the smartest character in the film.

Then we have Eric who is essentially a character from the Abbott and Costello series. He can’t read and can barely speak at times. He spends the entire film getting beaten up and knocked around in total slap stick style. His own subordinates tend to betray him. He’s not particularly competent at anything and even as a thug he is half hearted and won’t actually do anything evil. Eric’s subplot isn’t bad and it can be fairly fun. IT may drag on a bit or feel rather unimaginative, but at least it wasn’t bad so I can get behind that.

Then we have Slim who is the true threat in this film. He has actually murdered people before and attempts to take Sugar out of the picture. He is able to hold the entire gang at bay all by himself so that is pretty impressive. Naturally the only person who could really handle him at the end was Frankie with the teen’s impressive hand to hand skills. Finally we also have the PR agent, Bullets. His whiny voice can be pretty entertaining as he delivers one liner after one liner. He definitely doesn’t care for the teens and has a few nice verbal battles with Frankie. He rarely ends up coming out on top, but this character seems to be on point. He’s the best character in the film I’d say and keeps everyone honest. I’m sure that he always gets the scoop on his story even if he has to alter the facts a bit. He has no scruples, but knows how to get a headline.

I will give the film credit for having a lot of action on screen throughout the whole film. There are just a lot of plots to keep track of here although some of them don’t really have much of a conclusion. Steve swears revenge against Frankie after all, but that never happens. One plot feels rather unnecessary and that is the mermaid who shows up. She basically appears so that Bonehead can finally have his special someone, but then admits that she was just messing with him and they can’t actually be together. So she dashes off which frames Bonehead for murder temporarily. If she was never going to let them be together, why even give Bonehead hope for a night? Then of course you have the gangs and the talent scout, and the press agent running around along with the whole sky diving plot where the pilot keeps on trying to get Frankie.

The pacing of the film is pretty solid. It’s a shame about the beach scenes dragging down the movie as otherwise I can appreciate the fact that there is never a dull moment here. There are quite a few characters and plots that I haven’t even mentioned yet. The songs aren’t bad either although I wouldn’t call them particularly impressive. They’re around and that’s about all that you really even need to say about them. I’d give the writing a thumbs up as well. The dialogue is usually rather clever and everyone has a quip at the ready to sling at the person they are talking too.

Still, the romance in this film is quite bad. Even if the beach wasn’t around I doubt the film would have had too much of a future. Characters just seem to switch partners constantly and without a second thought. Even at the dance Frankie let Steve cut in on him and Dee Dee so then he just danced with another girl. He didn’t really care and that basically describes all of the characters. Then of course we have the mermaid who is 300 years old, but doesn’t understand human customs which is another terrible trope to throw in. Yeah, this film just hit a lot of the wrong notes.

Overall, The only reason to watch this film is to check out the Bingo game, but then you’ll be disappointed since the movie isn’t talking about actual bingo. I don’t think I’ve seen a film about competitive Bingo yet, but I like to think that one exists. If you actually like Beach parties and all that this entails then this is the film for you. If you are not a big fan of the Beach and want an actual story with likable characters then you should skip this one. It’s reasonably entertaining, but still has too many pitfalls for my liking. I don’t see this genre in general churning out too many winners to be honest.

Overall 3/10

Cause for Alarm Review

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cause_for_alarm
It’s time to look at a very old school thriller. This one may not have a bunch of explosions or guys running around in cool suits, but it does have a letter that could potentially destroy someone’s life. It’s a smaller scale thriller to keep you at the edge of your seat. It’s certainly aged quite a lot as the main heroine would likely act a whole lot different if this was made nowadays. I wouldn’t really call it a bad film, but it can make for an annoying watch and definitely doesn’t have a whole lot of replay value. This is one of those films that you only watch once for the suspense and then move on.

The plot follows a lady named Ellen. She used to go out with a doctor named Ranney but then she rebounded with George. They married very quickly but then George got injured and was forced into early retirement. He has now gone mad with paranoia that Ellen is cheating on him and that along with Ranney she plans to end his life. His only course of action is to try and deliver a letter to the mail man but he doesn’t have the strength to stand. He has to give her the letter to mail and then the government will come to protect him. Ellen doesn’t realize what danger she is about to get herself into if she delivers the letter. Who will win this battle of wits!?

The annoying aspect of the film is Ellen basically being at George’s beck and call the whole time. She has essentially made the wrong choice in getting together with him and has been paying for it ever since he was discharged from the army. As he grows meaner and meaner she still stands by him and tends to his every need. You just want her to throw him out or just ignore his various demands after a while. It doesn’t appear as if he can do a lot about it since he is supposedly bed ridden. That’s why a great plot twist would have been if she was actually trying to destroy him. That would have completely changed the dynamic of her character and turned her from a pushover to a tactician. It may have meant that she wouldn’t be as heroic, but at least she would have taken a stand against him. George couldn’t die soon enough.

Even in the flashback when George first appears he looks pretty bad. He basically tricks Ellen into being with him for a while as a lot of misunderstandings led her to believe that he was a sick man who needed cheering up. Either way she should have left the room the instant he started flirting since at the time she was with Ranney. Ranney didn’t seem to care much considering his stake in it so I can at least see why she left him. The guy definitely didn’t have much personality and didn’t seem to think about the situation much. Even in the present he doesn’t actually contribute much. It is more reassuring to have someone supporting you, but it’s barely better than nothing when this guy is involved. At least he did get Ellen to tell him what was going on rather than just taking what she was saying at face value.

George’s mother appears to also reinforce the notion that he was always a bad guy. She explains that he never really wants to see her and closes himself off from the world. All of this still makes me wonder how he got together with Ellen in the first place. Was it really just because he was an air force pilot and that’s supposed to be super impressive? You’ll just have to suspend your disbelief for the whole movie on that front. So, part 1 of the film drags on a bit as all of the George scenes will just have you rolling your eyes as you wait for him to die. I suppose this may be different if you didn’t know that he was going to die, but it was in the movie summary so you know that the plot can’t start moving until he does.

Part 2 of the film is significantly better as Ellen tries to challenge the postal service. The mailman is a stickler for the rules who refuses to give back mail after he has taken it, even if it is the same person who gave him the mail. He tries to spin it as company policy but I just think he had some beef against the main characters. I’ve never heard of such an outlandish policy and considering what a small town this is I hardly think he would have gotten in trouble. He has a legal leg to stand on I guess, but it doesn’t make the guy any more likable. Ellen doesn’t really do a good job of confronting his superior though. She does come across as really unreasonable from the guy’s point of view. She should have either tried to falsify the statement at home with the forms he gave her or just thrown in the towel and start to prepare a defense. Instead she keeps trying for the letter until the guy promises to put it through. You always have to be thinking of what tactic to use for discussions like this instead of just looking desperate.

Part of the irony in the film is that Ellen is making George’s job very easy. She runs around everywhere which looks suspicious and won’t even talk to the neighbors. It’s too bad since the neighbor seemed like a nice enough character who probably would have been able to help. The kid wouldn’t have been a very good witness though. He’s not a bad character, but who would believe a kid? He also seemed rather greedy with how many cookies he was trying to eat the whole time. You’d think he would have been satisfied with 1 or 2 when they were offered.

I have to finally question George’s plan one more time. He wanted Ellen to deliver the letter, but lets face it. If she really was going to murder him why would she possibly deliver the letter? She would have read or burned it instead because you wouldn’t take such a chance when the plan is so close to being complete. George’s plan only works if Ellen was innocent which really makes it a poor plan indeed. Fortunately for Ellen things work out all right. While there will probably still be some questions and inquiries they will be a lot easier without the letter. In this case destroying the evidence actually turned out to be a good thing.

Overall, Cause For Alarm isn’t the best thriller because it only works thanks to a lot of conveniences. The main character had to be a wall flower and also one who isn’t very intelligent for this to work at all. If she hadn’t been overreacting the whole time the letter may not have been very effective anyway since she would have been able to convince the world that George was crazy along with Ranney. Ranney was involved so him being a doctor wouldn’t end the discussion but it would still help. I have a feeling that a lot of George’s cohorts would have been able to have given supporting testimony as well. If you still like to see a tense film where it seems like the walls are closing in on the lead then I suppose this is a decent thriller to watch. At the very least the writing is fairly solid except for George’s cringy villainous rants. Otherwise, I’d say stick to other retro films. There have just been many that were better than this one.

Overall 5/10

Love Story Review

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It’s time for another romance film. This one’s an interesting case as the negatives are different, but just as strong. For starters, the romance angle is just as bad here if not worse as the two characters are just so mean at first. I suppose they’re going for the whole “They’re brutally honest” approach but it certainly doesn’t work well. At least Jenny works towards being a better person as the film goes on, but Oliver is content to stay spiteful at basically everyone for the whole film. Makes that sequel look even more iffy, but lets stick to the original at the moment.

So the film starts off with Oliver hanging around at a cafe (I believe it was a cafe) and then meeting a girl named Jenny. She immediately starts hurling insults at him about how he’s not very smart and only got this far thanks to being rich. He tries to respond with witty banter of his own, but she continues to defeat him at every turn. It’s not like he has much of a chance since he actually does like her even if he finds it hard to admit. Anyway, they get together really quickly despite their first interactions being complete insults all the time. They don’t stop insulting each other for quite a while. They decide to get married, but will Oliver’s Dad approve and how will they get by without money?

A good warning bell from the start is the film’s tagline. Clearly it’s trying to be clever but it’s just so far out to left field. Saying sorry is always important and especially if you’re in a close relationship. Feeling like you don’t need too if your bond is strong enough is just incorrect. You’ve always got to own up to your mistakes and considering how mean both characters are, I think the film is just trying to justify itself which isn’t going to fly either.

The main characters are important here so lets start with Oliver. At first you figure that the parents are going to be antagonistic and that’s why he is constantly avoiding them. The twist is that Oliver is the mean one who constantly pushes them away and is very disagreeable about everything. Sure, it’s a pretty original twist, but it does make him look quite terrible if we’re being honest. He doesn’t attend his father’s birthday celebration and even refuses to talk to him in general. All of the things Oliver says about his father to convince Jenny that he’s a bad person turn out to be untrue. Oliver’s just projecting his own insecurities and then still has the nerve to ask his father for 5000 dollars. Yes, he’s asking to help keep Jenny alive a little longer, but he refuses to tell his father any of this. If anything this just shows what a nice guy the Dad is since he gives Oliver the money despite Oliver just being really mean the entire time.

Oliver gets to the point where he even puts his anger at his father over Jenny. Jenny never asks him for anything, but even when she asked him to get on the phone for a minute he refused and even yanked the phone from her hand. This is not a guy that you can sympathize with or like at all throughout the movie. A movie can only be so good when the lead is terrible like this so that was already putting it at a disadvantage. I am glad that the parents weren’t just randomly mean for no reason but having them be nice and the main character mean is pretty mean spirited in itself.

As for Jenny, as I mentioned it’s hard to see how the romance starts. She does admit during one round of insults that she just likes him for his looks so I guess we can take that at face value. It’s still not a romance that I can get behind though and as I mentioned she is the only reasonable person in this relationship. Even once she is diagnosed with a fatal disease and doesn’t have long to live Oliver decides not to tell her this. He doesn’t even give her a chance to get treatment right away by stalling so Jenny had to find out by herself the hard way. Oliver’s certainly not winning any awards for husband of the year. He’d probably win the Razzi since apparently he does get over her. I feel bad for Jenny since she could have done so much better.

Even the whole Wedding ceremony felt like it was trying to make you dislike the characters even more. Jenny’s family was looking forward to a traditional Catholic wedding for their daughter, but then Oliver walks in and that is gone. Jenny says that it was a mutual decision, but I don’t really believe that for a second. Not only is it not a marriage in a Church, but it’s one that is barely official. They are just holding the wedding on their own in a random room. Do you even get a proper certificate from that? They even made up their own vows which didn’t work well. It was a bit of a painful scene and while I do agree that most weddings are too expensive and I’d want a cheap one personally, I’d still want an actual wedding as opposed to a self made thing that just seems fake.

This film definitely goes heavy into the drama territory for the second half as you’d imagine with the whole dying bit. It’s not a film that would have any real replay value as a result since the film just isn’t very fun. The second half is hard to get into because it’s just everyone being sad the whole time and the first half is dragged down by Oliver. Well, he drags down the second half too, but you know what I mean. I’m not really into tragedy films that doesn’t really help this one’s case. They should at least try to have some fun before she dies as opposed to spending the last weeks in a hospital. I know this will differ for many people, but if I only have a little while left to live and it’s confirmed..then what’s the point of staying in the hospital? So they can extend my life for a few days? I’d rather spend a week at home over 2 weeks in the hospital.

Overall, This film felt really mean spirited. By the end none of the characters have had a particularly good time. Oliver is going to be depressed since Jenny is gone. Jenny is gone so she didn’t have a happy ending. The Father’s not going to have a good time since his son is constantly pushing him away. There are just no happy endings here so it’s just a tragic film with sad ending. That isn’t a winning combo and if anything it’s a confirmed losing combo. It’s a little hard to be a good film throughout all of this. Not to mention that even without the sad aspects the romance does not work at all. They go from being enemies to taking the step past the friend zone in a few nights. The romance never feels realistic at all. You’re better off checking out a different film and skipping this one altogether. There’s just no point to this one whatsoever. While the sequel doesn’t actually affect this one’s score since they’re separate, it’s existence makes this one feel even worse.

Overall 1/10

Dracula Has Risen from the Grave Review

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It’s time for another Dracula film. This series has never been particularly good and this one is no exception. Dracula’s a joke and everyone knows it. Even the poster knows this. Look at his facial expression above and tell me that this is a serious villain. He died from falling in a pool of water in the last film! This guy is played for laughs at times and if he is meant to be completely serious then that’s almost sad. Anyway, this film does nothing unique and instead just goes through the motions without doing anything cool or interesting. It’s definitely a very forgettable film and one that will soon blend in with the rest. There’s just nothing to really like here but it is always surreal to see some of the choices that the main characters make. Needless to say they were not prepared for a fight like this.

The film starts off with Dracula murdering someone and we then cut to the present where Ernest walks into that town. Everyone is still afraid of Dracula because while he may be dead at the moment, his aura is still enough to corrupt everything that it reaches. It apparently even gets into the Church so everyone just hangs around the bar now. Ernest laughs at them and runs over to Dracula’s castle which he seals with the Cross. Unfortunately, the drunk pastor who had been following him trips and breaks Dracula out of his tomb of ice. Dracula then decides to team up with this guy so they can get revenge on Ernest by getting his nephew, Maria. Will their nefarious plan succeed?

Dracula has just never been a good concept for a film. I still stand by that today. The writing is often terrible for these films and they just heavily rely on shock value the entire time. The heroes also never manage to stop him before he bites the main heroine so they’re simply too late. The fact that his victims all crumble into quivering children when faced with his power is also annoying. They’ll just start fainting and running away while in his presence which is not really the kind of thing you want to see from characters who are supposed to have strong wills. The pastor guy was drunk and apparently spineless from the start though so I suppose I shouldn’t use him as a base to judge anything.

Still, the characters are really annoying. First off we’ve got our lead Paul. He wants to leave a good impression with Maria’s folks since he is supposedly serious about her, but that doesn’t stop him from passing through the bar and deciding to drink a little. Naturally this doesn’t end well and he messes up the Uncle’s big return by ruining the mood. He decides to sulk by getting even more drunk and allowing himself to be ensnared by the waitress named Zena. He hardly resists her actions and just shrugs it off. Then when Maria actually needs his help he gets one shotted by Dracula several times. He missed with the fire shovel and then runs right into Dracula’s arms. Paul’s a terrible main character and I certainly couldn’t support him during the movie. He makes all of the wrong decisions and doesn’t come off as genuine. How do you lose so many battles in one film?

Unfortunately, Maria is just as bad. She gets mind controlled by Dracula and gets thrown into a dungeon by the waitress. The heroes get to her in time before anything drastic occurs and ask her what happened. Her response is to faint multiple times and to explain in the most cryptic and misleading ways possible. She doesn’t mention any of the people who were there, which puts the heroes at a disadvantage. Thanks to her weak mind, Dracula can also enter the house as she opens the windows for him. While not everyone can agree with me that mind control only works on the weak that quickly, we can all agree that she should have at least told everyone what happened the first time.

Meanwhile, we’ve got Ernest. He’s probably the only quality character in the film and even then he makes some of the same mistakes as the others. He is betrayed and knocked out to the point of death by the drunk. Later, we see the drunk arrive at his house with Paul (Paul invited him because he’s helpful like that) and instead of warning everyone that the guy is evil, Ernest faints from fright. It’s almost amusing since you Never see the old, experienced tough guy faint in a film like this one. It’s unheard of and also incredibly hard to wrap your head around this. It doesn’t make any sense and it feels like a lazy way for the writers to get Maria kidnapped. Otherwise there’s no way Dracula could have broken in.

Zena is the waitress and she’s certainly not a good character. She only exists to flirt with everyone and to get Paul on the wrong path. You know that she is doomed immediately since that always happens to these characters in horror films. Staying in the friend zone is typically the only way you’re safe. Zena didn’t and ultimately ended up paying the price. As for Dracula himself, he’s not really a cool villain at all. He blames all of his failings on Zena and doesn’t even look very good in combat. He shrinks away in fear whenever someone holds some fire or the cross. He trips over his own feet in the climax as he lands in his doom. He even sleeps in a coffin that’s in the basement of a busy bread shop so it’s easy for someone to murder him during the day. It’s almost hard to see why everyone fears him so much when the guy just isn’t very smart.

This film is also pretty violent as you would expect from a Hammer production. It really does its best to show blood whenever possible and lots of it. Everyone gushes blood as if we’re back in Bleach whenever they’re stabbed and you can tell that they’re just doing it because they can. The Vampire bites are still as iffy as ever and since the characters take so long so stop Dracula it can barely be counted as a win. The actual body count actually isn’t all that big in this film but the movie makes sure that each one gets enough screen time for two.

Overall, Dracula Returns is a pretty terrible film. The writing is lousy and the cast of characters are completely uninspired. There is nobody to root for and that is always a problem if you ask me. You won’t be able to stay invested in the film and the best way to get through it is to take a shot of water every time a character makes the worst move possible. Anything stronger than water and you’ll likely faint so try and stay safe. Still, I’d recommend watching many other films before I’d ever even consider this one. If you have to pick a Dracula film, at least pick the modern one from the new cinematic universe that Universal has been putting together. At least that one tries to stay classy.

Overall 1/10

The Phantom Review

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The Ghost Who Walks is definitely not someone to be trifled with. The villains learn that the hard way during the film, but does it hold up well? I’d actually say that it does as it’s a pretty solid superhero film all around. With a memorable villain to help improve the cast, it’s got all the potential that it needs. The actual Phantom could certainly have been better, but his ineptitude also helps make the film pretty fun.

The film starts off with a very quick origin story for the Phantom. He washed ashore a strange island one day and was given a cool ring. Its effects are fairly vague, but Kit then decided that he would become a crime fighter. In the present, a tough corporate businessman named Drax has decided to take over the world. To do this, he’ll have to assemble the 3 mystical skulls which will make him all powerful. Any minion who questions his decisions are promptly eliminated which leaves no room for dissension. He will have the skulls soon so Kit must don the costume once again and stop him. Meanwhile, a reporter named Diana is trying to help out as well, but is she out of her depth?

Lets launch right into the characters. Drax is a really good main villain because he’s charismatic. He has a sense of humor despite being completely evil and at least gives his minions a chance. They just get too bold at times so he has to silence them. The scene where he throws a spear and tkaes one of the villains down was quite impressive. The guy clearly works out and has skill to make the shot so casually in one try. He also saw through one of the traitors pretty easily and suckered the guy. Admittedly that scene was easily the most violent moment in the whole film. It was pretty intense. Even in the end Drax never gives up and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he could beat the Phantom in a fight. He takes everything in stride and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that he really holds the film up.

The 2nd in command is a guy named Quill. He destroyed the Phantom in the past so he wonders how the guy could be back. Phantom’s family tradition of donning the costume definitely helps to support the legend since the hero is seemingly always around. It wouldn’t work well in the modern times since people would realize that it’s a different guy with cameras and all, but for this point in history it’s simply a smart business move. Sala is another one of the big villains although she isn’t nearly as sold on the path of evil. We don’t even know why she is evil to start with, but I’ll assume that she just likes robbing people and showing off how rich she is. A stern talking too from Diana quickly gets her to see the light in the situation. She really doesn’t have much of a role beyond this mini character arc though, but at least she can fight.

From the heroic supporting characters we have Diana. She talks tough and never backs down from a case. I got a lot of Lois Lane vibes from her and she doesn’t even appear to be grateful when saved since she could have saved her self, apparently. I wouldn’t be too impressed at being saved by Phantom either, but desperate times and all. Diana does live up to her reputation as she quickly figures out who Kit is. Kit’s origin story helps make it easy though since he had to take up the mantle right when his father died which meant that he had to leave New York rather suddenly and vanish into the forest for years. He was gone for so long that he forgot the currency and ended up paying a cab driver a few thousand dollars for a quick ride. Those scenes always make me feel sad, but I guess it’s good for the cab driver. Sometimes threatening your passengers actually works. At any rate, Diana was a good heroine.

Finally, we have Kit . I can’t say that he’s a great character and I knew this as soon as he started getting wrecked by the random villains at the beginning of the movie. He had the drop on them and still had to settle for a tie. He gets ambushed multiple times during the film. One time where he looks particularly bad is when he breaks into a museum to steal one of the skulls, but does it during broad daylight while in his civilian form surrounded by people. Of course that didn’t work and if the villains didn’t stop him, the cops would have. (After all, the cops sold out to the villains which is the only reason why they aren’t around.) I have to assume that he hasn’t been a hero for too long based on all of the rookie mistakes that he makes throughout. I’d say that he means well but accepting a kiss from Sala was pretty iffy and didn’t do his character any favors. He’s fun to mock, but that’s basically the only reason to like Kit. Even the whole breaking off contact for several years was pretty iffy since he had absolutely no reason to do so. Felt rather random.

The film has its share of plot holes or at least weak writing like Kit’s animals getting across an entire island with greater speed than a plane. It’s certainly not going to win any Oscars, but at least it’s always a fun film. The fight scenes aren’t super stylized or polished but they get the job done. There’s that genuine nature to the film that you won’t see in a modern film as here you can imagine a normal joe just putting on a costume and running outside the house. It’s a film that can’t be made anymore and is a lost product of the old times.

The film also moves really quickly so there is rarely a dull moment. Something is always happening and finding the skulls never felt tedious as a result. The scene where Drax finally obtains two of them were certainly fun as he starts running around and blasting everything. You almost feel bad for him since a 4th skull being added into the picture was basically cheating. He worked so hard to collect the others only to be told this plot twist. Better luck next time and all, but this was his chance. I’ll give a quick shoutout to Phantom’s two sidekicks, the wolf and the horse. They were very useful during the adventure and he would have been sunk without their support.

Overall, The Phantom is surprisingly a good movie. It certainly kept my attention from start to finish. That’s mainly because the characters were actually good. Surprisingly the villains were better than the heroes, but the film certainly wouldn’t have been as humorous without the Phantom. I’m not sure how he commands so much respect for everyone throughout since the guy isn’t that impressive, but he is rich and that does go a long way. His costume should remind you a bit of guys like Daredevil or other street brawlers so at least his costume had some heart. Throw in a lot of similarities to Indiana Jones and Tomb Raider and this is a film that can be fun for many different movie fans. If you haven’t seen the film yet, then it’s time to finally give it a watch. I also wouldn’t mind a sequel although it’s really too late for that. A reboot/remake could have some potential but only if they skip through the origin. The whole Jungle Experience is honestly a minefield full of things that could go wrong which made it even more impressive when this film still managed to succeed.

Overall 7/10

Medusa vs The Son of Hercules Review

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It’s time for a really old film that basically nobody remembers at this point. It’s just very obscure and it’s easy to see why since it’s pretty low budget and feels kind of random. The good news about this is that the film can basically do whatever it wants because it’s not like there were any expectations for it. The film’s pretty fun and has some nice monster designs. I wasn’t sure if it would be able to stay the course for the whole film and cross the line into boring territory but it stayed entertaining throughout.

The character names are a little tricky, but I know the important ones. Perseo is just an ordinary guy living in the poor slums of the world. He doesn’t know that he is actually the son of Hercules so I’m assuming that as a baby he got lost or was banished for some reason. Either way, he’s content since the princess (He doesn’t know that she is royalty) comes to visit him every day but never tells him that her name. He vows to catch her one day before she escapes him. The problem is that Andromeda has an arranged marriage to Galenore in order to stop an impending war. Galenore and Perseo meet which ends up with Perseo getting humiliated in combat. He will get one chance to redeem himself as Andromeda saves him by initiating a tournament. The winner claims Andromeda so the stakes are high. Can Perseo win?

This is one of those films with a ton of different climaxes. There are many times you’ll think the film is about to end when it just keeps on going. I’d say that this is a good thing for the most part since it means that the film keeps up a very fast tempo. I’d expect nothing less. It’s old but the effects are actually pretty good for its time. Case in point, the monsters. There are two main monsters here. The first one is a Sea Serpent who picks off anyone who gets too close to the water. Fortunately for the serpent, everyone runs to the water and even the villain trips inside it towards the end for plot convenience. I liked his design and this monster was not to be trifled with. Nobody could stop him.

Then we have the Medusa. It’s a living Tornado with an evil eye that turns everyone into stone. It claims a lot of victims during the very first scene but sadly only appears once or twice after that. It’s definitely another strong opponent and this may be my personal favorite Medusa design. At the very least you have to admit that it’s very original and unexpected. Since the Medusa is even in the title, you want it to go down with a little dignity. It certainly had a lot more than the human villains.

Galenore is the main antagonist and he talks a good game while he’s winning. Once he suffers his first defeat, he quickly becomes afraid of his Perseo. He basically cowers behind his father from this point on and only fights when his opponent is at a disadvantage. Naturally I’m not a fan since his only motivation is basically that he wants to marry Andromeda. You can probably see why he’s not my kind of villain from that scene alone. His whip skills were fairly solid I suppose, buit I definitely don’t consider it t be one of the better weapons out there. Give me a sword any day.

Andromeda was an okay heroine. She had bow and arrow skills which is more than I can say for most. I would have been happier if she had used them more during the film though as opposed to getting knocked out with ease. Granted she was in her room in the palace so you’d think that nobody would break in, but the guards were all dispatched in an instant. Honestly the security was pretty terrible. Going against the arranged marriage was good and all, but she could have been more direct with Perseo. The romance was pretty weak throughout though so I’m glad it was given a relatively small presence. I saw the comedy version on Svengoolie with the extra sound effects and I can certainly say that they did at least make all of the scenes a lot funnier. Enough that I’d possibly give it an extra star as most of the additions were pretty well placed and also made Andromeda a better character.

To round out the main cast, I can’t say that I like Perseo all that much either. He just seems a little desperate for Andromeda and yet he still gets completely wrecked in his first fight. I was expecting him to put forth a little more effort to be honest. It was just sad how he lost and even in the rematch he was not faring well for a while until Galenore got overconfident and went too close. It was interesting to see him suddenly become the head of the army and break into the villain base though. It was a pretty big shift in stature in just the span of a few minutes. The King of the heroes wasn’t even that grateful the whole time as he forced Perseo to get in the army. Then we got a plot twist about where Perseo truly belonged which was at least mentioned in the beginning so there was some foreshadowing. I felt bad for the Mom since it took ages for Perseo to arrive. I believe she ended up dying rather tragically as well but I don’t remember the specifics.

It would have been nice if Perseo’s army was a little stronger though. The difference in power was crazy and how did the villains get those overpowered monsters? The heroes losing everyone to the Medusa was also pretty suspect since you’d expect at least a few to throw some arrows or sword stabs into the tornado while it was busy freezing others. Of course, given their lack of teamwork and how they got picked off by random guys the whole time, I suppose it is to be expected.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. It’s certainly not amazing or anything, but it’s surprisingly a pretty solid experience. Something is always happening and the film never got too fishy with Galenor’s obsession with Andromeda. Perseo was always ready to break things up. The action scenes are entertaining and this just makes for a really good light hearted action film. It’s certainly not serious and it’s not even self aware but you’d be surprised at what you can do with a limited budget. This film was clearly ready for it and I’d certainly be up to seeing more films in this series. I’d recommend checking it out but don’t expect the monsters to get a huge role. At the end of the day, it’s just a story of the hero trying to save the Princess from the villains.

Overall 6/10

The Ghost and Mr. Chicken Review

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It’s always sad when you’re known as a chicken among the community. Just think of how rough it would be when it’s a small community so you are going to be seeing the same people everywhere. Well, that’s the case for our lead in this film (Luther) as everyone openly mocks him. It’s almost admirable how despite this he keeps adding for fuel to the flame. Panicking in the opening minutes certainly didn’t help his case.

Well, the film starts off with our reporter in training driving down Main Street at night. He hears someone scream and comes across a dead body. The excitement starts to overwhelm him but before he can faint the main character stumbles over to the newspaper office/police office. Luther tries to explain what’s happening but goes hysterical so his colleagues have to insult and mock him a little bit to calm him down. Just as he tells them all about the murder, the “dead” guy shows up as he was apparently just hit on the head with a branch and fainted.

Now Luther’s reputation has shattered even more. The newspaper is on tough times though so they need a scoop and have to take a break from mocking the main character. Their best bet is to send someone into the haunted house. Luther is essentially dared into going inside and he decides to do so to show everyone that he isn’t a total chicken. The problem is that ghosts keep messing with him and he even faints. On the verge of tears he tells everyone what happened, but can he prove that this was the case or will he also be known as a liar now?

It’s definitely a really fun film. You don’t really see comedy films like this one anymore and it’s a shame since they work so well. You can’t sympathize with Luther but I suppose you can at least sympathize with the fact that he held his own in court and wasn’t humiliated as badly as I had thought he would be. He doesn’t do a great job of improving himself at all and is basically content with going through the same motions that he’s always gone through. It’s why he is perfect for the role.

Ollie is definitely a pretty mean character who tries to undercut Luther at every corner. Still, he never gets too extreme and due to the nature of the film he can be pretty entertaining. If the plot was handled seriously then there is a good chance that he wouldn’t be likable at all but as it stands he was probably the best character in the film. You can make the case that he has more reason to dislike Luther than the other way around since from his point of view Luther took the main heroine away. Ollie also did offer to go into the haunted house with Luther, even if it was only to mock him.

An underrated character is the head of the newspaper company. Not only is he one of the only characters who gives Luther a chance but he even defends the guy in court. Honestly you’ll just feel bad for him since he does a great job but then Luther keeps on sabotaging him. The supporting cast was just really good in this film and naturally that makes a big difference. The judge was also pretty fun and it made the scene of everyone going into the haunted house pretty fun. Actually it was pretty surreal to see the Judge come up with that plan.

As for the ghost moments, I think it was safe to say that everyone probably guessed what the last second stinger would be. Ignoring that little moment I would have definitely said that there was nothing supernatural about the place. It was all things that could have been explained naturally after all. Even the painting although you have to suspend a lot of belief for Luther not noticing the blood would be fake. Well, it is Luther I guess.

The plot with the corporate gangster trying to muscle in on the place and discredit Luther was a cool contrast since that plot was played completely seriously, the guy wasn’t afraid to destroy Luther either if necessary which made for an intense final fight. You rarely see these rich business types actually enter the realm of combat themselves nowadays so that was certainly unexpected. It helped give the film some action to balance out the comedy and it worked quite well.

I have to say that the romance was pretty weak though and the only underwhelming part of the film. For starters, Alma was seemingly already taken with the rival Ollie but it didn’t stop Luther from flirting and hoping they could be together. Sure, later on in the film she says that they weren’t really together and all, but given how the had apparently been eating lunch every day, driving together, and Ollie had been calling her things like Sweetheart which she was fine with….it seemed rather clear what was going on. Even Ollie was shocked when she basically ditched him out of nowhere. It’s nice for Luther that if all worked out but this is definitely not how you build a romance. It really just fell flat and took up too much time.

Overall, This was a really fun film. The humor was on point and the cast was pretty good. The tension of whether the mansion was really haunted or not will be tearing you up inside until they announce the verdict. Ollie is a fun rival and gets a lot of standout lines while Luther’s panicking is always pretty intense. If you haven’t seen this film yet then I would definitely recommend it. It’s not the most popular movie out there but it can definitely hold its own against any big comedy film.

Overall 7/10

Genji: Days of the Blade Review

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It’s time to check out an old PS3 beat em up. I got this one at around the same time as Trinity so once I finished that game I knew that it was time to finally pop Genji in. Unfortunately it is nowhere near as good as Trinity. It loses in pretty much every single way. It’s not a bad game, but it does have a bunch of questionable design choices that limit the title. Depending on how the final boss battle had unfolded, this review certainly could have gotten more negative.

There are three main heroes, Yoshitsune, Benkei, and Shizuka. A cosmic entity inhabiting the body of the main villain from the first game also shows up, but he doesn’t really add anything to the story. The land is being overrun by zombies and mystical villains who can turn into vampires and other such monsters. There are even giant Crabs running around and a Kaiju. The heroes have to defend their turf and the whole world as well so they ready their swords and shields. Stopping the villains is as simple as destroying them all, but it won’t be so easy since these villains can certainly fight back. It’s essentially a war against zombies which is an interesting premise, but the characters don’t always seem to act as if they’re fighting anything supernatural. It’s just another day in Feudal Japan. (Or China. I think it’s Japan though)

Right off the bat you can tell that this plot isn’t going to be particularly exciting. The voice acting is pretty iffy and the story is only slightly better than Dynasty Warriors. The characters are as generic as can be, but don’t even have good character designs to save them. Yoshitsune is a poor man’s Sanada Yukimura. Shizuka never actually does much in the story and her health is so low in the game that you never want to actually play as her. Benkei is super powerful in combat, but I just didn’t like him either. There was no reason for the heroes to ditch him during his dramatic moment either as they should have just stayed together and fought off the villains.

While the graphics aren’t as good as Trinity, it’s not as if they’re bad either. It’s still PS3 level, it’s just that the level designs are really bland and there’s not much for the game to work with. There aren’t really even any colors throughout the game so it all appears to be rather lifeless. It doesn’t do anything to immerse you in the game. The soundtrack can also be rather annoying. I like the more atmospheric ninja themes that play during the game, but the one where the guy just keeps yelling over and over again just makes you want to turn the volume off. On a technical level, I’d say that the game was actually bad when you think about it.

Fortunately, the gameplay is what we’re here for and it’s pretty good. For an odd reason the game chose to go for a more cinematic style. This means that you fight in slow motion a lot of the time. Gradually you start to fight a little faster as the game goes on and by the end it feels pretty normal. I suppose you just get that strong by the end. There is no lock on system so sometimes you’ll find yourself randomly missing the enemy but you’ll adapt to this by the time you complete the game. Each character has a final smash attack which stops time and lets you unleash a flurry of attacks. It’s a lengthy quick time event which saves you a lot of time from fighting each opponent individually. It’s immensely helpful for bosses even if it can get rather repetitive.

There isn’t any replay value to be found here. No collectibles, no multiplayer, no trophies…etc. Once you complete the game you’re just going to put it down and you’ll probably never pick it up again. The game is about 10 hours long so at least it’s not too short or anything. It’s a reasonable length considering that you can pick the game up for about 5 dollars. Still, I always like to at least have some replay value at the ready.

Make sure you have some backup saves ready as you approach the end of the game. If you don’t have a lot of items or power ups at the ready for when you fight the final boss it’ll all be over for you. The final boss is basically 5 phases long and in that time there are no minions to fight so forget about getting any more EXP for your weapons. Fortunately I had saved most of my items and power ups til the climax so I was able to barely squeak by, but it does feel like a mean spirited game. The average player would have used the power ups by then since you’d assume that it’s the right move and there is no guarantee that they would save their items either. The 4th phase of the final boss is hard to even hit without the final smash since it’s limbs are so high up and the final, final boss takes a lot of dodging and tedious hit/run strategies to overcome. Ideally you want to have around 10-15 final smashes ready. A pro tip is that leveling up your Magic meter restores it completely so just don’t level it up until you’re at the boss. Then you can use the final smash, upgrade, use it again, and keep on repeating this strategy over and over again. It’s a sound plan and one that worked for me.

The part I was stuck at for the longest time was definitely a long tower level within a boat. You had to climb and jump through a bunch of obstacles. The problem is that the camera kept changing angles which made your journey that much more difficult and then falling would send you way back. You won’t fall for the same trick too many times as you’ll eventually manage to get through, but I feel like the developers just did a really bad job with the stage design and a lot of the game’s fundamentals. This game could have been so much better than it actually was. I’ll give it some kudos for the amount of cutscenes that it had though. I may not have particularly enjoyed the story, but at least it actually did have one. That’s better than nothing.

Overall, The gameplay may not have sounded great from how I described it, but it’s still a 3D beat em up. It’s fun to take on the legions of enemies and prove that you are the best fighter. The game can be rather difficult so you can’t just run into every pile of enemies and attack until they’re down. Sometimes you’ll need to lead them into traps or cross-fire between enemies. Other times you may have to retreat for a while. Be careful because save parts can be far apart so you can lose close to 20 minutes at times. The platforming in the game is also pretty rough so watch out for those sections. I think you’ll enjoy the game more if you know the tricks behind it since the game doesn’t explain it very well. Otherwise you’re in for a brutal time. Believe it or not, I recommend the game, but just be sure to take every precaution by having the backup files at the ready. It’s never too early to start saving your items either.

Overall 7/10

The Invisible Ray Review

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It’s time for a film about a mad scientist’s quest for power. This film is quite old so you are ready for a classic thriller right from the start. Unfortunately, the film slips up with some animal violence thrown in which I had to shake my head at. The film was so promising at first and it really looked like it could have been a winner. Alas, it fell one fist short, but I’ll give it some props for effort. At least it made a fair attempt right?

The film starts off with a rambling mad man by the name of Janos inviting a bunch of scientists to see his latest invention. After a lot of insults are hurled around from all of the cast, the scientists are amazed as Janos shows them something that has happened millions of years ago using a new material. Dr. Benet declares that they should team up. Janos’ Mom tells him this is a bad idea since they are always insulting him and have discredited Janos’ theories for years. The main character decides to go anyway though and joins the team in Africa. They are here to find pieces of the rock that crash landed. Janos decides to take point so he goes ahead of the others. His wife Diana isn’t thrilled about this, but complies for the moment. Weeks pass by and everyone starts to get worried.

It turns out that Janos has been poisoned by the material and is essentially a Radiation Man. A single touch with any living thing causes them to perish. Benet makes him a cure, but he’ll have to use it every day for the rest of his life or he’ll destroy everyone along with himself. Janos doesn’t let this distract him and builds a weapon of mass destruction. Whatever he points the cannon at disintegrates into a million pieces. It can also be used as a healing ray to give someone back their sight and other such senses. Unfortunately, his wife has gone for a rebound and the other scientists have left with his idea so Janos decides to murder them all.

That was a rather long plot summary but it was necessary because I feel as though Janos trying to murder everyone is the main plot of the movie even if it took a while to get there. No worries, the film made Janos as obvious of a bad guy as possible right from the start. He was shady even when inviting people into his house and then he basically had slaves work for him under threat of death if they tried leaving. There was never a moment where I thought “This guy is heroic.” Throw in the fact that he is very quick to start murdering everyone and he is really doomed to the villain role. I can’t say that he is particularly likable either. He holds himself in check better than most villains, but that isn’t quite good enough. His powers are pretty useful though. Imagine being able to destroy your opponents in a single blow. That is really handy if you ask me.

Benet is the other main scientist in this film. He’s pretty charismatic and the best person in the film. He’s reasonable and while he doesn’t like Janos, he puts that to the side in order to help science move along. Unfortunately, he can be a little slow on the uptake at times like when he walked to the door even though he knew Janos would show up soon. He put himself in the worst possible situation at the time and that’s just not where you want to be. He probably shouldn’t have been so quick to cure Janos, but it was the hero move so I can’t fault him for that.

I can’t say that Diana and Ronald were good characters though. Diana was married to Janos so rebounding to Ronald wasn’t a very good idea. Sure, they didn’t get along too well, but she should have at least officially separated from Janos first. She acts as if she never loved him either and only did it because she promised her father. That’s such a terrible reason to marry someone and I just see her as having a lot of fault in this as well as the main character. Ronald went after her even though he knew she was married so he is probably the most guilty character of them all. I just never liked th guy and he didn’t even get a particularly large role in the film. After a while he just stayed in the background for good.

This film’s writing is pretty strong as it is so old. Despite being such a retro classic, the characters are all pretty mean to each other the whole time. They do it in fairly polite ways, but there just aren’t any nice people here. They all have an axe to grind with someone. Even if Diana wasn’t going for the rebound she would be pretty sketchy as she is generally pretty rude to the Africans they’re working with. Most of the characters have that in common.

Unfortunately, the animal violence is pretty bad as mentioned before. There was a fun dog throughout the film who would follow the main characters. It would have been better if he wasn’t even in the film then to be destroyed by the main character. We also got to see the aftermath of a hunt as the main characters take a animal to be eaten. We don’t need any of this, especially in a film that would otherwise be pretty peaceful and happy.

Getting past that, the atmosphere and pacing for the movie were pretty solid. Quite a lot happened in a relatively short amount of time as you can see from the plot summary. The film just kept going on as the plot would adapt and follow. There also was another good character in the form of Janos’ Mom. She kept giving him good advice even if he did end up ignoring it and she made the tough calls at the end of the film. You don’t just break one of the big Science rules and hope to get away from it. That’s just not how things roll here.

I do have to question how smart these scientists are. They believe the whole picture of a meteorite hitting the Earth millions of years ago so easily. Did they not suspect it was some kind of illusion or trick. My first reaction certainly wouldn’t be to stand there and just accept that the man has broken new ground in scientific history. It’s a little hard to swallow and the motion picture wasn’t all that impressive either. They should have called him out on it.

Overall, The Invisible Ray had potential. It has a reasonable cast, at least as far as the banter is concerned and a good amount of action. The characters have to lay traps for one another and rely on mind games for the rest. It’s a pretty interesting film and it’ll definitely keep your attention. The dog scene just stops it from being a good film and the romance was also pretty terrible the whole time. It’s just hard to get past two big negatives like those so I’d recommend avoiding this film. You can certainly find better ones if you look around for a few minutes. That’s all the time you’ll need.

Overall 4/10