It’s Kunio’s Dodgeball, Assemble Everyone! Review


I thought about leaving the title untranslated considering that Nintendo didn’t even bother to translate this one at all but let me put in the extra effort here. Unfortunately this game isn’t particularly good. The dodgeball mechanics really don’t hold up very well at all and the game is just too simple. Sometimes being simple is good for a sports game but there has to be something really fun about it. This one feels very low effort even considering that it is such an old game. Ultimately this holds it back in a very big way. Without more variety, there really isn’t anything to keep you going here.

The game doesn’t really have a story so you’re just jumping into a big Dodgeball match. There are probably more customizations and modes out there but of course with all of the text in Japanese you’ve basically just gotta guess through everything anyway. So in the game your goal is of course to hit all of the players on the opposing team. You have to do this a few times and once a player has taken enough damage, he turns into a ghost and leaves the arena. If you can do this to everyone on the opposing team then you will have won. Of course they will try doing the same to you. So when they throw the ball at you, you can try to dodge, catch the ball, or duck. Either one of these options can work although the safest option is naturally to catch the ball. Additionally if you do that, then the one who threw the ball takes some damage.

To confuse the opponent, the best thing to do is pass the ball around. Often times the computer won’ be able to keep up and then you slam them with a shot. If you shoot the ball normally, odd are that it will be blocked or caught. So you don’t want to just be running in there and taking shots without a care in the world. If you don’t have some level of strategy then you’re going to lose. The A.I. is not even that bad if you play it cleanly. If you abuse the passing mechanics then you will win without any real effort but if you don’t do that, it can come down to the wire.

So the game has reasonable difficulty but that’s not enough to stave off the repetition. Additionally I don’t think they thought things out very well. There is no timer here so if you’re holding the ball then you don’t have to do anything. You can just keep on holding it or walking around and the other team can’t do anything about it. There needs to be a timer because otherwise the game will never go anywhere. Additionally it just makes more sense. Of course with gentleman rules you can assume people won’t hold onto the ball but the fact that it’s possible isn’t a good look to the game in general.

We do have some super attacks like throwing the ball so hard it turns into an energy blast. It looks cool but the opponents still catch it every time so don’t bother with it too much. You’re better off with the trick of passing it until you get a good shot. In terms of graphics, the game’s not awful but it does feel like most of the sprites are effectively the same one just tweaked a bit. It doesn’t feel very high budget and the one song isn’t very inspiring. I would consider this to be one of the original cash grabs to be honest. Imagine spending money on this game? I’d be so sad I’d probably be in tears by the end. This is the kind of game you have fun with for a super brief time that wouldn’t even justify a Blockbuster rental. I’m glad I played it of course, but really only to warn you all about it. I’ve played better NES games and this is a generation after that.

It’s also a shame because as it is there aren’t very many Dodgeball games. It’s weird because the game feels perfect for one to be turned into a game. You have to be running, jumping, evading, etc. These are all really cool things to do in game and they directly translate into controls. There is no real RNG in Dodgeball either so it would be a satisfying win/loss. Hopefully Nintendo makes a full on Mario Dodgeball at some point to how the world how it’s done because we desperately need that.

Overall, This game just won’t hold your attention for very long. There is really not a whole lot to the game as it is. One mode and one stage can only take you so far. I had fun messing around in the game by passing the ball back and forth over and over again but even that can only stay amusing for so long. Unless you are a mega fan of Dodgeball then there really isn’t anything for you here. I would say this one’s worth a skip. Just go on to the next game because you will be done with this one within 15 minutes or so.

Overall 3/10