Tag Archives: Thriller

The Professional Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about having to try and grow up within the world a lot sooner than expected. It’s definitely a tough road for little Mathilda as she encounters a whole lot of obstacles. I think it was definitely an engaging film but at the same time I definitely had my share of issues with it. I would have liked Leon to have been a little more street savvy here.

The film starts off by introducing us to Leon who is an exceptionally skilled assassin. He always completes his missions very quickly and doesn’t have a lot of difficulty with them. When he’s on the case you know that victory is at hand. That being said, he has done this by isolating himself from the rest of the world. This all changes when his neighbor Mathilda’s family are all murdered by a gang and he ends up letting her take shelter at his place. She’s just a little kid so he feels bad about sending her on her way but now he is caught up in a huge conspiracy. This powerful organization of mobsters is after her and so he will be right in the middle of that. Can he take them all down…and should he even try?

It was definitely a rough spot for hm to be in. When Mathilda originally asks him for help, he either had to let her in or watch her get shot to death outside. He would be directly responsible for her death and while he is not the most compassionate soul out there, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It shows that he’s really not all bad and the assassin job hasn’t totally gotten to him. There is still a piece of humanity to him out there after all. He gradually teaches her the basics of shooting but there really isn’t enough time to make a pro out of her. In fact, she never really gets to put the practice to use which is realistic since she is still so young. Ultimately Leon has to do everything on his own.

He’s fun to root for but at no point can you mistake him for a hero. He does jobs for money and you can’t imagine that they were all to bump off bad people. The money would have had him take out good people too. He has a rule about no women or children but if you’re an innocent dude then you are still out of luck. Unfortunately he isn’t as smart in the real world. His manager Tony is clearly taking advantage of him as Leon lets him keep all the money and Tony just gives him a little bit every now and then. Tony may act like they’re friends but that’s really not the situation on the ground. Tony really doesn’t even come through for Mathilda when it counts. I imagine the list of people you can trust as an assassin is definitely a very short one.

Mathilda can definitely be on the annoying side though. At first she’s fine, she tries to work hard to improve her skills and avenge her little brother. The problem is that she loses this determination early on. You’d think with such a motive she would be pulling off any kind of schedule but instead her resolve weakens and she wants to have fun. Sure, she is a kid so you can cut her some slack but then she actively becomes a problem. She makes up stories that cause Leon to be kicked out, then she makes a spectacle of herself infiltrating the villain base, etc. She directly puts Leon in a whole lot of danger without even getting close to her goals. If she had at least gone ahead and shot the main villain then that would be one thing but instead she choked when it counted. This is definitely a case where that can’t happen. She needed to steel her heart sooner.

She went through a lot as her life was lousy to start with and then the murders happened. So it’s not like Mathilda had an easy life but it would still be nice if she didn’t take so many risks. Running out to where she used to live, following the villains, etc. It’s just really like tempting fate all the time and without a plan there is no benefit to this either. Now if she had a grand master plan then things would be different but that’s not what happened.

As for the main villain Norman, he’s definitely one of those quirky villains. He likes listening to music and then he goes off the rails. He definitely has no mercy but also isn’t the bravest villain as he typically hides behind the rest of his army before making a move. By the end of the movie he sends in dozens and dozens of others first before moving a step. He does have a good strategic mind though as he predicts Leon’s plan himself. The movie doesn’t really give him the big final scene I was expecting though. I was waiting for some kind of a clever line but in the end that’s not how it went down. I suppose it’s not like he needed the dignity of it but it could have been fun.

Naturally this film can definitely be on the violent side. There is quite the body count and neither side has any reason to hold back. With the main character being an assassin, he certainly knows how to take care of many opponents at once. The sheer numbers may have been a problem for most people, but not Leon. It’s not incredibly over the top or anything but definitely enough to be noticeable. The ending also isn’t super satisfying. It’s a bit predictable which isn’t bad but I was hoping it would go with a different angle.

I also would have liked Matilda to help out more. Even considering the fact that she is a kid, I would have expected her to have really contributed more. Maybe shooting at least one or two goons during the climax. I was expecting more of a payoff for the training or maybe you could have had Tony somehow escape the climax and she finishes him off. You don’t always get to pull off the big revenge mode yourself but that would have definitely been a satisfying way to end things off.

Overall, The Professional is a fun film. I would have liked to have seen more scenes with Leon at his job though. The opening is really intense as he takes names and quickly dispatches a whole lot of enemy soldiers in his way. It’s really the last time we get to see him using his true abilities until we start approaching the climax. A few more missions like this would have done a good job of showing off just how dangerous he is. We know it from the story of course but the more he could show this off the better. If you like classic assassins and the ole mentor setup then this is definitely a movie that you should enjoy.

Overall 5/10

John Q Review

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It’s time for a pretty intense film about a guy who is given the run around by a hospital until he finally snaps. You may be getting some Luigi flashbacks around this point although the circumstances are still different. It’s a pretty good movie with a lot of tension and a pretty intriguing plot. Additionally John really tried every legal method that he could until he was eventually forced t take drastic measures. With a film like this you naturally aren’t rooting for the lead to go and shoot everyone but you definitely get how he came to this point. After a while there really aren’t any other choices to be made.

The movie starts by introducing us to John who is rather down on his luck right now. The hours at the factory he works at have been shrinking in each pay period and it is getting hard to provide for his wife and son. The tax collectors have even taken away his car. John says he will fix all of this but it’s an old tune at this point and his wife isn’t sure about that. Well, one day the kid suddenly faints while on the baseball field and it tuns out that he is in critical condition. He will need a heart transplant but it turns out that John’s insurance changed classes recently and so they don’t cover it. Meanwhile the hospital won’t even add him to the chart as a possible donor until John coughs up thousands and thousands of dollars. So John decides to take drastic action and takes over the emergency room by force with his gun. Either his son gets the proper treatment or none of them are walking out of that room.

It’s definitely a drastic situation and I’d say the most intense thing about it is how possible the whole thing is. Obtaining a gun doesn’t seem like an impossible feat for someone who is properly motivate and most locations just aren’t equipped to handle someone with a gun. Now it may not happen as smoothly as it did in this film but someone could definitely take over for a while like in this film. It’s all about what happens from there. Clearly the gunman won’t escape but it’s more about the damage he could do in the meantime. You don’t want to listen to his demands since it could inspire copycat killers but at the same time you can’t just sacrifice all of the hostages in there. It puts the cops in a tough spot.

The main focus here is really on the determination John has in making sure that his kid is okay. Throughout the movie there are a lot of people telling him to give it up and just accept the death but John won’t take no for an answer. It’s not like he is a pro at this either so he does make his share of mistakes but he is trying to keep the situation contained the whole time. You definitely have to give him a lot of credit there. Things easily could have gone real sideways real fast there. Particularly when it comes to money you can definitely get biter about how things are set up. John really tried his best and worked a really hard job but at the end of the day it wasn’t enough.

Meanwhile it’s not quite the best portrayal for the hospital but realistic. They hear countless stories all the time about sick people who can’t pay and have their lives at stake. it does make sense that they can’t take every case or they would be out of business. The main contact lady is particularly antagonistic the whole time with her delivery but what she said was mainly correct. You either have the money or you don’t and if the insurance doesn’t cover the operation then that’s really the end of the story. Changing the laws is the only way to really stop that, otherwise their hands are tied. It’s certainly not the most satisfying answer but at the end of the day that really is the response to this situation.

Frank does the negotiating for the police here at least when he isn’t being compromised by the chief of police. They definitely clash heads quite a bit in this film with their different approaches. Frank is trying to de escalate and see what he can do while the Chief wants a quick end to this. Both plans have their merits. The chief comes across as a jerk the whole time but he did seem to have more of an endgame to his plan. It may have failed but I didn’t have any qualms with taking the shot. The instant John took hostages, he was not just an “innocent man” the way the reports were describing him. Taking him out using lethal means was absolutely a valid plan and I don’t even think it’s a particularly controversial one. Yes the optics don’t look good but the #1 objective is to save the hostages.

Meanwhile John’s wife does good in not selling him out or falling for any traps. She was on his side the whole time and didn’t waiver. I also appreciated that while they had some fights throughout the movie, it never became a big deal or tore them apart. They stayed strong under stress and kept on pressing. They worked as a good team when trying out all available options. It may not have worked but they did make all possible attempts which is good.

While the film is fairly tame, I should note that there are some medical procedures in the film. As a result you do see a live heart for example which is a bit on the intense side. So you’ll want to keep that in mind but otherwise the worst thing that happens is somebody getting roughed up a bit. Both times the guy getting beat up definitely took actions that led up to that point as well. You want to be real careful who you make upset in a situation like this.

If the film has any issues, it can be that it’s a little heavy handed with how antagonistic it makes everyone who opposes John. For example you have the cops laughing it up as they plan to murder him, the chiefs not taking things seriously, the main hospital director smirking as she declines coverage, etc. Almost everybody in the film comes across as a jerk. Then you have the nicer ones but for example the young doctor in training has a very jaded view on the whole hospital business so he talks about how they plan to cheat people out of coverage, etc. It’s all a grand, sinister plan to keep people sick and dying. It’s definitely a bold accusation although we do know that those insurance companies can get really shady.

Overall, One of the big morals here is to make sure you don’t drive while in a rush. If you have to get somewhere quickly, allow yourself to be late instead of trying to speed during a curve. It’s just not worth it, likewise with running through a yellow light. Sometimes you just need to hold the massive L because at least you’ll keep your life. The movie itself is definitely a solid one. You’ve got a sad situation and a father doing his best to make the most of it. There are a lot of fun philosophical and ethical questions to ask about the situation as well. It’s the kind of film that works well with debate as there are a lot of different positions you could take here. The film is fairly long so it gets to spend a lot of time on the story without rushing things. I’d definitely recommend it.

Overall 7/10

Donnie Darko Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those films where the main character is slowly going crazy but you have to determine if this is actually what’s going on or if there’s more to the situation than meets the eye. You’ve got the classic delusions and even a giant 6 foot Rabbit so this film isn’t afraid to get supernatural. Unfortunately the build up is rather large to what I would consider to be a lackluster climax and getting there is rough with the characters all being super annoying and terrible for the most part. There aren’t really many people to root for here and so that’s something sequels will need to try and fix.

The film starts off by introducing us to Donnie who has been having some mental issues for a while now. He takes pills to reduce the effects but sometimes he skips them and starts to crash out. He’s been wandering around the city at night and seeing a large rabbit man named Frank. Frank tells Donnie that the world is going to end in a few days. Donnie might even believe him but officially tells his therapist that he doesn’t think the world will end. Donnie actually has two friends and then even gets a girlfriend in Gretchen but for the most part has trouble connecting to people. Even the famous motivational speaker gets on Donnie’s nerves. Will he be able to stop the world from ending or is Fran really just a figment of his imagination?

This is one of those films where you will definitely need to stay focused because we jump from day to day. There is a timer about how many days are left until the end of the world and so sometimes there are whole weeks left and then there are just a few days in others. So you have to read through these carefully because the film isn’t always linear but the events are normal enough where you might not even notice at times. A engine fell through Donnie’s house but fortunately he wasn’t hurt but the cops are acting a bit weird about the whole thing.

Like I said before the main problem here does come from the characters though. Donnie is extremely hard to root for. He shows up with a bad attitude from the start and never really gets any better. From insulting his sister and mother to crashing out during lessons, he just isn’t a very heroic figure. During his therapy sessions he has a hard time focusing and it doesn’t seem like anything really interests him. He’s very odd the whole time and you can be odd without being a jerk but he never really chooses that option. I would have liked to have seen him resist Frank’s influence more as well.

Donnie seems easy to manipulate and always tends to choose the worst outcomes. Even through to the end I don’t think he made the right call. He basically decides to give up, at least that’s how I would frame it. He could have tried a lot of other paths but he chose the easiest one which doesn’t even guarantee a happy ending. In fact you could say that in some ways this is now the dark ending but it depends on how you interpret it. I’ll go into my interpretation near the end of the film.

For the most part I’d say the film has a generally dark tone. Everyone’s been through a lot and there is another tragedy along each corner. You’ve got Gretchen’s backstory which is naturally dark and then gets even darker with what happens in the present. You have the motivational speaker’s secret which is again super dark and so the town doesn’t seem to have a lot of hope with it. One girl is bullied a whole lot and naturally the main character doesn’t do much about it. Just about everyone is needlessly mean spirited like when a bunch of kids make fun of an old lady.

There’s quite a bit of language here and none of the characters seem like someone you would want to be friends with. Of course the characters are not responsible while the parents are away and throw a big fight as well. People are doing drugs, the romance is rushed, etc. This film definitely takes itself very seriously but this kind of grim title needs a bit more of a hook.

That’s where Frank really should come in. Lets get some more answers out of this guy and learn about the end of the world. Well, for the most part he just talks cryptically the whole time and isn’t very helpful. Sometimes he helps out like when he had Donnie burn down a house that exposed a villain. That was good but is takes him a while to get to that point. Before that Frank just seems generally demonic and it’s still hard to tell what his actual goals are. Is he just here to spread chaos? Because I could definitely believe that.

Okay now to discuss the ending. Skip these next two paragraphs if you haven’t seen the film yet. My main theory here is that there was no real time travel per say and instead we got taken to a new dimension. Throughout the film they talk about time travel by going through a ship and entering a portal to go back. Well, we get to see Donnie arrive back at the start but he chooses to stay in his room so the engine crashes through and murders him. At this point all of the characters across the film wake up, seemingly very startled. Some are panicking, sweating, etc.

It seems like they all regained their memories of the lost time here. So even though it’s the past, the events all seemed to happen. For that reason I would say that Donnie was able to open a portal through dimensions. In this way it’s like a parallel universe where everybody is around but now events are playing out a bit differently. Unfortunately because Donnie won’t be around to burn the house, that means the speaker will still be up to his criminal activities. Then again if everyone remembers, maybe they can shut him down quickly. That’s basically how I interpret the ending and so it’s a pretty sad one since Donnie gave up and just let himself get blasted. He should have gotten out of there and used his advanced knowledge to really make a difference. There are a ton of ways you can change the world when you have an early start like that. It also seems like this kind of thing has happened before with the old lady who wrote a book but Donnie should have checked in with her right away. The whole alternate universe would also tie in with the planet ending like Frank said. In this way it really did end as that universe/timeline no longer exists.

Well, there are a lot of ways to look at the ending. The film is definitely weird enough for it all. Unfortunately it’s just no weird in a good way. You absolutely could have pulled this off if the characters were better but this cast? Yeah they were definitely not even remotely ready for this. A good surreal kind of film needs to have quality characters, a really engaging plot, and of course an interesting climax. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is an example of a really weird film that works after all.

Overall, Donnie Darko is held back in a lot of ways by Donnie Darko himself. He isn’t quite the lead character that you need to make a film like this succeed. Instead he just keeps the film from reaching its true potential. The rest of the characters don’t really help matters either though. Frank had potential here but the way his character goes out is pretty lame and he lost all of his aura the instant that the mask came off. There just isn’t much that is appealing about this film. I give it some props for trying to have a very unique story but it did not work.

Overall 2/10

The Jet Black Hedgehog: Shadow the Hedgehog Review

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The year of Shadow was really a hype moment in the world of multi media franchises. We got to get a Shadow game, movie, and a whole lot of appearances everywhere. It was a great time to be a Shadow fan and now it’s time to finally look at the manga that went on briefly. It roughly adapts the Shadow Generations story albeit with a few changes and even a new original character. Not sure why they changed it at all since the changes feel so minor but I suppose you don’t really need a reason to change things up and have fun right? It’s a quick and easy read with only 6 chapters.

The manga starts with showing us the good ole days of Shadow stopping the BioLizard and even getting to hang out with Maria. Those were back when he could show off a lot of emotion and had a really good time. Ultimately it wouldn’t last as Maria died tragically and Shadow lands in a weird void world. A little bat shows up saying that he can save Maria but Shadow needs to get all of the dark orbs to achieve his true power. Shadow is willing to go through all of the hardships in order to make this happen but if the bat is lying to him….there will be a whole lot of trouble coming soon.

The art is a little on the basic side but it’s not bad. I would have liked a more intense style which fits in with the serious story they are going for here but this one is easy to read which makes sense since the magazine is still for a younger audience. In a way that’s part of what makes it all very easy to read through because the panels are very big and the pacing is fast. Shadow basically takes down a boss in each chapter and keeps it moving. The final boss with Black Doom gets a good amount of screentime although in this version it’s pretty clear from the start that Shadow is a lot more powerful. As soon as he is able to fight seriously it is all over.

There is no big Sonic guest star appearance here so I suppose they couldn’t squeeze that in. It would have definitely been really good to have though. I suppose this way it is really 100% Shadow’s story with no real distractions or separations. The decision to basically have Shadow go from losing Maria to the Shadow Gens story without any of the Sonic games from the middle was an interesting choice. At least in terms of memories that was Shadow’s trajectory here. I would say I ultimately prefer the main story’s version of events but this way wasn’t bad. Having an alternate path is nice to experience the story from different angles.

There did have to be some big cuts though and sadly Metal Sonic is one of them as he basically just gets one page. Ah well at least he gets one page which is good. Him not appearing at all would have definitely been rough. Throughout the story Shadow does know that this whole thing is a longshot but he continues to try anyway because saving Maria is really important to him. Their bond of friendship is always one of the strongest ones in the Sonicverse. Ultimately Maria had to go through a lot in every timeline but she always stands strong and never gives in to the darkness. She does well in helping Shadow resist as well.

Shadow is in a tough spot throughout because he knows that every orb he absorbs brings him closer to losing control and yet he has to keep on absorbing them in order to even have a chance at saving Maria. So he gets closer and closer to the abyss the whole time all while knowing it’s a dangerous plan. At the end of the day that’s why he’s the Ultimate Life Form though. He can handle a whole lot more than the other characters could even dream of.

This has always been true throughout the Sonic mythos. Sonic and friends have their share of hardships and strife but at the end of the day still tend to have a lot of fun. Shadow is constantly dealing with the biggest threats around and also the eternal grief of losing Maria. It’s why there were a whole lot of memes around this period about how the Sonic Generations story was so happy and colorful the whole time while Shadow Generations was ultra serious business.

This manga did allow Shadow to express himself more though which I really appreciated. Starting off the manga with the Shadow from the past was a good idea for that reason. He really used to have a whole lot of fun until tragedy struck and he simply couldn’t anymore. If not for that then I’m sure that even now he would be having more fun. It could make for a nice AU story someday although the current Shadow is the character who rose to being the greatest in the franchise so it’s not like you’re topping that anytime soon.

There’s not a whole lot more to say about this one because in large part it is a very direct story. There aren’t a lot of twists and turns here and it’s pretty clear where the story is going to go from the start. Black Doom probably could have looked a bit stronger though, maybe one more chapter would have been ideal. Still, the series had to balance a whole lot of fights and action into 6 chapters so I can definitely cut it a ton of slack here. It’s all pretty reasonable but of course that also shows why we need a full Shadow ongoing manga.


Overall, Shadow makes for a good character so it’s not surprising that his manga would be really good. It’s very short but still makes for a compelling read. By the end of it you will definitely want to go ahead and buy the video game to get the full experience here since they couldn’t quite fit everything into this one. It is a great side product though and also works as a substitution if you don’t own the game consoles to play it on or something like that. In a way that’s the biggest part of being a multi media franchise after all. This way you have different ways to experience the story for everyone.

Overall 7/10

Teenagers from Outer Space Review

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It’s time for a film about an alien invasion and it’s definitely treated as a fairly casual affair. Humanity was absolutely not ready for these alien invaders, not that they usually are. It’s a movie that has aged well and provides good entertainment the whole time. The pacing is not bad and we largely avoid the big romance thanks to the film’s ending. All in all I don’t have many issues with this film as it turned up when it counted.

The movie starts with a few aliens landing on the planet Earth. They all look like humans but they are certainly not the same species. The most ruthless member of the group is Thor who wants to use this planet as a breeding ground for their giant monsters. Derek protests as soon as he sees that there are intelligent life on the planet and so he runs into town to warn people. Thor lets him escape only because it turns out that Derek is the son of their high leader. So they need to take him alive. Will Derek be able to spread the message with the planet or is he already too late?

The tough part for Derek here is the fact that he doesn’t really know anything about the planet. So he’s having to learn a whole lot of things on the fly. He meets a girl named Betty and her kind Grandpa but it’s hard to convince them of the urgency of his mission. This changes when Thor shows up and begins blasting. His disintegration ray can destroy anything that it hits. Derek will have to find a way to disarm him and fast before the whole town is obliterated.

The death count in this film can be surprisingly large at times. There are a whole lot of deaths left and right here Thor basically gets to do whatever he wants to the place. It takes a long time to bring him down and even then the heroes fumble the bag by not taking his weapon or anything like that. Thor lasts way longer than he should because the heroes insist on using kid gloves with him. This is a matter of life or death, you really need to take him out. At one point he is totally unconscious after being shot a few times and nobody capitalizes on this. Very sloppy behavior without a doubt.

Thor does make for a decent villain the whole time though. He’s very confident in himself and is always pressing forward. The guy comes off as being insane right from the jump so you’re not sure how he got such a high ranking position but the possibilities around it are so endless that there isn’t much point in really pondering it. That’s just how this alien group goes. The climax of the film gets quite explosive and definitely doesn’t leave many loose ends for a sequel. Unfortunately this also means that the giant monster himself doesn’t get to appear or do much at all throughout the film. I was looking forward to seeing more of him since the design was really hype. It had a lot of potential but ultimately the budget just wasn’t there to support the film and that is really a shame. Having a giant monster stepping on all of the buildings would have definitely raised the danger level by quite a bit.

We at least know that it was pretty strong though. If not for the pesky disintegrator ray then it might have really had a shot. I regret to inform you that a dog does die in the film though. Early on the villains use the ray on the dog Sparky which was definitely a big mistake. Fortunately the whole scene is pretty fast and you instantly turn to bones which is better than most methods of death. Still unfortunately but that’s the reason why the film didn’t immediately get a negative score or anything like that. It could have definitely been curtains otherwise.

I have to give Betty’s grandpa some respect in this film as well. At first I figured he wouldn’t be doing much of anything here as the guy was really showing his age but in the end he stayed strong. He wouldn’t say where Betty and the others were even under threat of death. He kept on riding around with the crew the whole time and never gave up. That’s the kind of determination you like to see here. He had a lot of energy and in general all of the townsfolk were pretty good. None of them were just going to turn tail and run or give up without a fight. This is the true meaning of unity.

As expected the writing is pretty good here. The script is solid and the pacing is really good. The movie never drags on and you can feel the danger lurking around every corner. At most the only weak part would be when Derek first arrives in town and doesn’t know that the other aliens stuck around. So he doesn’t have a lot of urgency as he rents a room and puts of telling Betty about the dog. The film also narrowly avoided the love triangle since it was looking dicey with Betty and the reporter plus Derek for a while there. That could have docked some points but the characters made the logical move here this time by focusing on the end of the world threat and not getting side tracked. That was a welcome surprise.

Now this is a very old film so even as an alien invasion film you should not be thinking about this in terms of a lot of explosions or anything like that. This is a slow burner through and through and you can almost think of it like a slasher aimed at kids. You have the seemingly invincible villain who slowly approaches each town goer as he obliterates them from existence. He takes no hostages and has absolutely no mercy. The guy just keeps on going and going with no plans to stop. It’s the part of the film that leaves you feeling a bit sad because none of those characters expected that they would die today.

Overall, Teenagers from Outer Space may be very different than what you would have expected based on the title but it’s a pretty good film. I wouldn’t say it has any obvious weaknesses at all. I had a good time with it and the film even has a decent sense of humor at times. If you like these retro films then I would say to definitely check this one out. It’s really got every classic B creature element in here along with the creature itself even if that’s more of an afterthought.

Overall 7/10

Mile 22 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Mile 22 brings in another big war time thriller as the heroes duke it out with the villains. It’s one of those films that does decide to do this through an interview lens as one character talks about what happens and keeps on spoiling different parts of the film. Definitely a bad decision but if you can get past that then the rest of the film is pretty good. I did like the cliffhanger so a sequel would be fun but I can see how the ending might be divisive.

The film introduces us to Silva who is a very good special agent captain but one who is also very emotional. The different characters debate what is wrong with him mentally or if he’s just a jerk but Silva is definitely very prone to going on large tirades about pretty much everything. He gets very emotional and explosive at all times so you can’t really predict what he will do next. You could say that he is the ultimate wild card. Well this latest mission involves a guy named Noor who has defected from his country and has intel on weapons of mass destruction. He requests a trip to America for his cooperation and the heroes don’t have much time since he has set his files to self destruct pretty soon. Silva agrees to help but he’ll have to keep an eye on this guy.

While the film’s title and poster is all about the 22 Mile drive, that doesn’t happen until very deep into the film. It felt like over half of the movie was really set up for this as we are introduced to the characters and the stakes. Setup is definitely good but this film does push it a bit as you’re waiting for the adventure. Silva’s group are all stars who can handle any mission but naturally you can probably expect some of them to get taken down in short order here. At the end of the day even top rate skills will buckle before superior numbers.

As always there are a number of moles and security breaks throughout the agency so Silva can’t trust too many people. They are also in enemy territory the whole time as the whole point is that Silva’s team is trying to get this guy to America. Until they reach those borders, they’re going to have to deal with an army of corrupt cops and agents trying to shoot them all. The villains aren’t exactly subtle either as they say to Silva’s face how they intend to handle this. Silva just has to try and destroy them all in return or it’ll be all over for him.

As the main character he is definitely fun. Silva’s the kind of guy you want on your side because yes he’s a super loud jerk who is constantly yelling but that means your opponent’s are in for a tough time. There’s even a saying about that how every team should have at least one jerk on it. The idea is to at the very least have someone who is really confident and not afraid to get in the other guy’s face. Silva is definitely comfortable in that role and it’s a good thing too since his teammates can also have their own issues.

Kerr for example is going through a messy divorce and has not been able to concentrate as much as usual because of this. She is constantly yelling and swearing as things don’t go her way. Additionally this line of work does result in not being home very often which certainly doesn’t help on the court side. The app she has to use as part of the package was pretty interesting though, I could see that being really useful for a lot of situations since at least every message is being tracked. No funny business happening off camera as long as the app is around and the fact that it logs each swear word is impressive.

Kerr probably should be able to control herself better while on the mission though. She bears some responsibility for not noticing the two intruders messing with the hostage. Finally Noor is the third member of the main characters. He’s the informant who is making a whole lot of demands and the guy is in control the whole time. I figured his meditation was a way of keeping track of the code for a while there but in the end that was a bit of a red herring. Noor gets a whole lot of character development as the film goes on and really excels in his role. He is neck and neck with Silva in terms of being the most interesting character.

He also does get a really intense fight scene when he has to face off against two fighters at once. It showed that his fighting skills were the real deal as any other character in this film would have likely been destroyed rather quickly. He definitely knows that he can’t trust the security of the USA by the end of that scene. Additionally this all star squad is completely off the books so at any point he could be destroyed. If they are too late to get to the plane and the data is deleted, well they’ll end up shooting him anyway. So there are a lot of ways that Noor could die and he has to be prepared for all of them.

The overall tone of the film varies from being your classic action fare to being a little more on the darker side. The ending itself is definitely really intense and for my two cents I would say I thought it was a good ending. It was really unexpected and happened quickly without dragging the reveal for too long. You come to the conclusions that the main cast come to at about the same time. I do think it does once again show how the heroes are super lax and unprepared with their procedures though. Procedures exist for safety and consistency so the instant you start going away from them you really start to open the door to a lot of problems.

Overall, Mile 22 is a good film. It balances a whole lot of different plots going on at the same time pretty well. The pacing and writing are on point so you’re engaged with the story throughout. The ending was definitely a bold choice and I definitely respect the decision there. A sequel would certainly come in handy to see how things go from here. I would hope that this time there is no narration from the future though. This is a very intense film without a whole lot of happy moments so you do need to enjoy the overall war vibes. I thought it was handled better than most and didn’t get quite as extreme as competitor titles. That said, you would want to avoid this film if you don’t like this level of violence. Neither side is really in a position to take hostages due to the situation.

Overall 6/10

Shooter Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Shooter is one of those tragic films because it could have been good but then it decides to absolutely nosedive by throwing in some extra grit and over the top dark themes for no reason. It could have been known as a fairly decent revenge film about destroying everybody but instead this one will quickly fade away into being forgotten. Just a lot of missed potential here.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Swagger who used to work with the army but after they left him and his partner for dead, Swagger decided to tap out. With his friend dead, Swagger was all by himself except for his pet dog. He stayed off the grid for years but now the government has caught up to him. Isaac wants Swagger to help out in preventing a presidential assassination but this quickly goes sour as expected and now Swagger is wanted for murder. He’s tired of being thrown around by the government, it’s time for Swagger to do something about this.

So you’ve got a classic revenge story against corruption here. It’s a pretty classic story and one where it is easy to root for the hero over the evil government. That said, the film feels the need to make the villains as evil as possible to jam the message through and it’s really not necessary. For example they murder Swagger’s dog. Really now? That was completely unnecessary. Then at one point it turns out that one of the villains is really just here for his own pleasure and has his way with the heroine while Swagger is gone. Another absolutely ridiculous scene that didn’t need to be here at all.

This is the kind of film where the writers just weren’t confident in their own plot/script and so they have to add all of these quick shock value moments. You’re not able to enjoy the film naturally and each scene is instead pushing you hard into the next one. No need to think about anything as the movie is as black and white as possible. One of the scenes near the end as Swagger explains his evidence is one I’ve seen before as it’s a pretty common out of context clip for Youtube shorts. It’s yet another moment that is meant to show you how logic just won’t work because everybody is as corrupt as possible.

The movie definitely has a very jaded view of the justice system. Fair enough, it’s definitely got numerous weaknesses and shortcomings. If the film wants to go the vigilante angle then that’s fine but again it would be nice if the film could just let us watch the action unfold without having to basically narrate it. The villains are all loud and obnoxious as they laugh about how they have dominated the system. They don’t seem to be concerned about any bugs or wiretaps because everybody important is already in on it. They’re just having a grand ole time.

I think for that reason Swagger made a huge mistake near the end and just happens to get lucky. He basically lets some of the key villains go so he could do this through the legal process but naturally that doesn’t play out very well. By this point you’ve already murdered all of the foot soldiers so why wouldn’t you finish off the general? It never makes sense to spare the captains at that point. Particularly since they have the riches and the resources to completely disappear if that’s what they want to do.

Swagger definitely lets his guard down at times but ultimately he looks good for most of the film. His sniper skills are definitely on point and he can really hit a target from almost anywhere. That’s definitely a scary opponent to have to contend with because you’re going to have to find a way to close the distance without getting shot. I’d ask why the army would leave such a capable soldier out to die like in the opening but again it comes down to basic corruption.

Nick ends up helping out from the FBI side. The guy is a little slow on the uptake about how nobody else really cares about the mission though. He gets lied to almost immediately by everyone else in the agency. They’re all either on the take or just generally incompetent. It’s easy to see why he decided to break away from them as soon as possible by the end. Of course you get the feeling that he might be doomed in either event because the villains won’t let him live forever. His only hope will be to hitch a ride with Swagger.

Then we have the heroine Sarah who definitely goes through a lot. The whole film is definitely a terrible experience for her. She does a good job of being helpful and going undercover. My only issue is really with the romance plot. You can’t just get together with your dead husband’s partner. That seems like a terrible idea even aside from the fact that it’s a rebound. The whole thing would just be too personal and it’s also way too sudden. They barely even know each other and so the film suffers from the really quick paced romance here. It doesn’t really have any kind of development and just happens.

As far as conspiracy films go, this one requires a few more stretches of disbelief than some of the others. A certain degree of that will basically always come with the genre but at the same time they just seemed so sloppy in this one. The fact that an FBI rookie noticed that things didn’t add up shows how little thought was put into it. Producing answers too quickly, etc. It may have fooled his boss but it was clear that she didn’t really care about the case in general. She had me convinced that she was on the take the whole time for that reason. How else would she make the worst excuses each time? At one point when Nick points out that a key player was just shot, she says it was probably just karma. That’s just crazy.

Still, conspiracies are fun. Even in real life I’m sure that some of the ones that occurred had a bunch of loose ends and people just looked the other way. That’s bound to happen from time to time but when you’re actually seeing it you can’t help but roll your eyes a bit. If the film had stuck to the action then I think it would have been a lot better. I also liked seeing some of the frame technology. For example to make it look like one guy shot himself they had a clever device that holds the arm up at just the right angle. I’m sure they’ve got something like that in real life.

Overall, The Shooter is a pretty bad film I gotta say. The plot had some potential in there but threw it all away in the second half. I won’t blame the main character for getting tricked since it was a calculated risk but he definitely makes some terrible judgment calls. Even romance aside, I still think the plan he had on top of the mountain was absolutely terrible. Letting villains go in the hopes that you can get them later is really a recipe for disaster. At least the film has a pretty fun ending. That part at least leaves you satisfied in the end.

Overall 3/10

Nobody Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Eh the movie poster is cooler since there are many more fists but this cover’s not so bad either. The film sort of betrays its own concept almost immediately as this “Nobody” is naturally a big Somebody. I like the idea a bit more of having an average family man have to contend with a big revenge flick but this one’s still okay. It taps into that John Wick kind of energy with the legendary fighter having to come out of retirement. The film does have to survive an extremely rocky start though.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Hutch who has been living a very repetitive life for a while now. Every day is basically the same as he lives it over and over and over again. There is little variety to be found at all and it’s just not very fulfilling. Well one day his home is invaded by two thieves and he doesn’t fight back or do much of anything so now everybody is making fun of him and his family has lost confidence in him. Hutch doesn’t seem to be the provider they thought he was. Hutch only gets serious when he finds out that they stole his daughter’s bracelet. Now it’s time for him to unleash his skills!

Now the film quickly tries to defend why Hutch didn’t do much in the opening scene. He noticed that the gun wasn’t loaded and didn’t want to escalate the situation. The problem is that this was still the wrong move by a longshot. These two are still unknown criminals who are breaking and entering. Additionally they are using blunt objects in order to cause a lot of damage. Just letting them get away with the money is terrible and even more so when his son stood up to defend the house and Hutch didn’t help at all.

No amount of explanations or hindsight was going to be enough to save Hutch here. He needed to defend his family, at the end of the day that is absolutely critical and he failed when it counted. The instant someone breaks into your house all bets are off and lethal force is absolutely authorized. Any time you hold back there you are putting the whole family at risk. This whole scene is important too because later on we see how Hutch is actually an expert fighter who can take out dozens of enemies. Dispatching the two intruders without seriously injuring them would have been another easy outcome for him.

So when all of the characters are poking fun at Hutch the whole time it’s hard to feel too bad for him. Obviously it’s not cool to be too unrelenting about the situation but trying to get Hutch to understand how he made a mistake was important. His brother in law even gives Hutch a gun which is a pretty sensible thing to do given the circumstances. The second half of the movie basically does become an unrelenting John Wick film as Hutch goes after everybody.

He ends up tangling with the mafia and so he begins to dispatch those guys as well. Now Hutch isn’t Superman or anything like that so he’s not invincible. The film does show that he needs help from an old friend and his father to actually come out of this alive. It was good to have that in there for a touch of realism especially since Hutch has been out of the game for so long. Now unfortunately the film does spoil the adventure by having an opening scene work as a time jump which is still one of the worst tropes. Ah well, I suppose the film had to fumble a little bit there.

The movie can be rather violent with some of the kills. The fight scenes themselves tend to not be too over the top but the finishing moves can be like Mortal Kombat. Hutch really tries to make an example of why you shouldn’t stand against him and the main villain has the same idea at a gala event. Both sides are no strangers to violence and to an extent you can even say they encourage it like when Hutch basically dares the villains to keep on fighting him.

In some ways I would say this film is really going through the action thriller motions. It’s not a film that you’re likely going to remember very well by the end of it. It’s a good movie but the story is one that we’ve all seen before. Even down to the origin story which plays itself beat for beat as many ex professional type films. I enjoyed the banter with Hutch and his allies even if that too is familiar. Sometimes you just want a solid action film that puts the fighting before the story itself. I would say this film definitely does that.

The villain is mainly forgettable. He’s your average gangster who knows how to fight but finds himself in a leadership role now. He’s not particularly patient with his minions and the guy is incredibly unstable. If you work for him then you may end up dying just on a whim. When the going gets tough, he does fight but doesn’t last all that long. That’s basically his whole character in a nutshell. I was more interested in what the cops were going to say about all of this although naturally they don’t get a ton to do. I imagine in the sequel we’ll see more out of them and the 3 letter agencies as they decide to take Hutch down just to be on the safe side.

Overall, Nobody is a decent movie but I don’t think it has the highest replay value. It takes a bit long for Hutch to finally go into action. The violence can be a bit try hard at times too. The film is really advertised as a big action title though so there were definitely no lies presented here. What you see is what you get and I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a solid action fix. I get the feeling that the sequel would be better though as here is a lot for the film to capitalize on here.

Overall 5/10

The Thomas Crown Affair (1999) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Whenever you’ve got a film with the word affair in the title then you know that you might be in trouble. Naturally the word doesn’t have to inherently be bad but it’s usually used in a negative context. The film is basically about someone trying to pull a James Bond and just the concept of that plan is usually funny to me. Still, it does actually work in the real world even so I can’t really talk much about that. Ultimately the film lacks the good characters to make this a success and the romance is particularly weak.

The film starts off with a rare painting being stolen from Thomas Crown’s museum. It was worth tons and the insurance company might have to pay for it. As a result they send in a lady named Catherine to oversee the whole thing. She will make sure that the company does not get ripped off here and she will locate the painting. She believes that Thomas did it himself. It seems a bit unlikely to the cops to put it mildly but she is convinced. So her plan will be to seduce him and then get the information. Will she really be able to reel in a rich guy who has everything so easily?

The first part of the plot that already starts you off on a skeptical note is Catherine’s idea that she can just seduce this guy like it’s easy. I have the same skepticism for many romance type titles and naturally the James Bond films as well. Sure there are some people that are extremely shallow like that but a super rich guy with unlimited options? At least have her break him down after several months or something but he immediately takes the bait hook line and sinker. Now you could argue that it’s just because he wants the thrills of a cat and mouse game but to me it seems like he liked her right away with how sharp her personality is.

Then the rest of the film continues the cat and mouse game while they mess with each other the whole time. There’s a subplot where Thomas has a psychiatrist who confirms how he can’t trust women and all that. Well the film seems to confirm his suspicions as Catherine tries to mess him over several times. If anything the movie seems to make the case for Thomas on why he can’t trust anyone too much. The instant Catherine feels betrayed she tries to completely ruin his life by exposing his theft.

I mean…that was her job the whole time but it’s clear by the end that it’s super personal now. She refuses to listen to him at all and just goes back to her own thing. Then by the end when the misunderstanding it cleared up she is desperate to be with him again. Catherine jus seems incredibly unstable and I don’t see things going well for the two of them. The original film had the much more satisfying ending as a result and I couldn’t stand by this one. The reason is because I wasn’t a big fan of the romance in general despite how much the film tried to present it as a decent one.

I do like the whole enemies to lovers trope when handled right but this one didn’t convince me. As much as I was going on about Catherine not being the most reliable or trust worthy, the same is true for Thomas of course. The whole film is happening because he was bored and wanted a thrill after all. You better hope he doesn’t get bored of romance either since he seemed like a real player back in his day. That is definitely one of the big downsides of being super rich. It’s a bit of a meme as everybody would usually like to be rich anyway but I can see how life can get dull if you don’t find anything to give you purpose.

Also to make the romance even worse, we have the head cop in charge of the case, Michael. This guy is absolutely desperate for Catherine from his very first scene and it’s obvious that she is not into him at all. She gives him a pity kiss later but I wish the guy had been a little bolder and just created some distance after the first attempts failed. Lets keep this professional right? This film is the definition of unprofessional as nobody was able to really keep to the job but it’s probably the worst for Michael. Catherine at least had the excuse of this being part of her plan and Thomas was using this as a way to gauge Catherine but Michael should have at least been objective.

Now in terms of the heist itself, it does stretch your disbelief at times. I find it hard to believe that nobody noticed the CEO sliding under the door to steal the painting early on. The film’s excuse for this would be how crowded things were and to an extent I get that but it’s still a bit of a stretch. Likewise when the painting was returned later on. The ole switcheroo was pretty clever though and I didn’t really have any problems with that one. I did enjoy all the “magic” and planning even if the resources and time to pull that off are also tricky. Thomas obviously has the money but finding enough people willing to take a fall and potential jail time? With enough money you can pretty much do anything but you can also count on at least one guy to get cold feet and go to the cops.

I’m not really an artistic person myself so I always wonder how paintings can really go for millions of dollars. I’d sooner buy into the conspiracy that the whole art market is just a front for money laundering than actually thinking someone would value the piece so highly. Talent is talent and some people are truly gifted at it but millions for any piece of art seems absolutely crazy. I’m also not particularly entertained by walking around a museum to look at paintings. That seems like the kind of thing you would endure for good company.

So the main appeal of the movie is about the heist and the cat and mouse games. That is when the movie is at its best but the rough romance really holds it back. There’s just no way this will work out and the romance is more of a show over tell kind of experience. So not only was I not convinced but the movie spends a lot of time on the romance only for me to still be shaking my head the whole time.

Overall, I would still skip on this film. It’s an improvement over the first film but it’s still not a winner yet. At this point I think we need a live action version of Sly Cooper. That’s a film with a similar premise but 1000x cooler. You will still have the cat and mouse banter with the detective trying to catch the thief but it’s played in a much more interesting way. Until that movie comes out, I recommend playing through the games and you will quickly see why the Thomas Crown affair can’t quite compete.

Overall 4/10

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes Review

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As someone who does not like tomatoes I can confirm that one of my greatest fears would definitely be having to go toe to toe with one of them. If these guys bite as strongly as they taste then it would be all over for me. The film does a good job of poking fun at the concept while also getting in some terrifying moments. I would definitely recommend this one.

The film starts off with a lady getting murdered by a tomato. When the cops show up to check out the damage, one of them immediately notices that the “blood” is actually tomato juice. After this point the tomatoes launch an all out assault against humanity. Their numbers are considerable and for the most part the humans are powerless against them. They even have cherry tomatoes on their side. Will the humans be able to mount a proper counter offensive or is it game over for them?

This movie effectively takes shots at a whole lot of different story beats and groups. For starters the government doesn’t look very good here as their so called experts are completely out of their depth the whole time. They have absolutely no idea what they are doing and this only gets more and more evident as the film goes on. Their meeting rooms simply aren’t big enough for them and even their best agents trip up when the going gets the tough. The master of disguise actually made it pretty far but ultimately even he faltered when it counted. Trust me it was not a proud moment for that guy.

You may even end up rooting for the tomatoes here because of their fun sound effect. It’s really hype whenever they show up. The sound in and of itself isn’t creepy or anything but it’s with the context of knowing that the tomatoes are back. They even toy with the humans like at one point where they surround someone’s car and then calmly roll away. He really got off easy that time and they were effectively giving him a warning. The Tomatoes just took it a little too easily that time. If they had been serious then the film would be over.

Naturally the special effects for the film aren’t particularly good. There are a lot of cutaways so we don’t really get to see much of anything. The tomatoes themselves are just ordinary tomatoes for 90% of the screentime. I would have liked to have seen them grinning and running around more but the film didn’t really have the budget for that. The overt cheapness of the film is part of what makes it all fun though. This film is a parody that is really being as silly as possible.

Now of course in any film with a ton of jokes, there will be a bunch that absolutely don’t land. This film is no exception to that. For example you have Lois who is trying to make a name for herself but her skills aren’t all that great. So she gets desperate enough to consider her boss’ advice which was not good from the start. We also get a last second romance and so those scenes were pretty rough the whole time.

Fortunately the good ones easily overshadowed those. For example we also had Clark Kent show up as well as a good Superman gag at one point which was really good. We got the classic “up up and away” moment which was really inspired. There was also a kid and his dog although they didn’t do so well in the fight. The film had plenty of good references and little moments here and there that enhanced the movie.

There was also the whole plot regarding the white house’s chief of communications. The guy gets embarrassed early on during the Q&A and then we actually get some repercussions from that later on. His plan had been unfolding for a while but I’m sure this helped speed it up. The betrayal was really good. The scene had a lot of tension to it and good development. I was almost more invested in this plot than the tomatoes for a minute there.

The movie is fairly short but even then you enjoyment here will be based on how much you enjoy the main gag of the Tomatoes. Will you find it to be too silly or just the right amount of fun and exciting? Everything hinges on that because at the end of the day this is not a serious thriller or anything like that. Technically the body count is rather high and by the end a ton of people are dead but it’s not like the tone is going to reflect that. This is meant to be a really happy film all the way around and it succeeds on that angle.

I tend to enjoy some quality silly humor so this is up my alley. There was even a quick song by the corporate guy helping on PR which was out of nowhere but pretty intense. The singing voice wasn’t half bad and the lyrics are of course the main highlight. This guy showed that you can be great at business and still find time to sing a quick tune. So the quality song helps to make up for a lack of a big soundtrack, although it’s not like I would have expected a grand soundtrack for this film anyway.

Now lets imagine that the film was played seriously for a moment. I think the way you would do it is that the tomatoes move at high speeds. They would keep slamming into people and the sheer concussive force would knock them out. Maybe the main character is a cook so he is able to slice them apart when they show up. You could still have an end of the world plot with ease but the question is how many audiences would take it seriously anyway. And if you know that they wouldn’t, well that’s why you do the parody instead.

Overall, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is a film that I’ve looked forward to for a long while now and I can definitely say that it lived up to the hype. This is a fun film with an original story. It has a large variety of gags so you are bound to like some of them. From there is just depends on how many you did not like. If it’s a small number then we have a winner. I’ll be curious to see how good the sequels are but it will be hard to beat the original. It’s one of those premises that you probably don’t want to overdo. It’s why I really liked the stinger at the end which showed off the new villains coming up. That has a ton of potential right there.

Overall 7/10