Category Archives: 4 Star Movies

Bloodfist II Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right it’s time to jump back into the world of Bloodfist! I have to say it’s impressive just how different this film is from the first one. It may as well not even be a sequel to be honest since it laughs in the face of the first one with Jake’s character development but hey that’s how it goes right? It definitely makes its share of mistakes and so it won’t be another film to be remembered.

The movie starts with Jake winning a big tournament but he murdered his opponent and so he retires from fighting. He has now fallen into all of the vices including paying a lady of the night when he gets a call from an old friend who’s in a jam. He hasn’t seen this guy in ages and the call is the shadiest thing I’ve ever seen so Jake quickly decides to come along where he is beaten up by a group of thugs. He has been kidnapped along with a bunch of the world’s strongest fighters. They are all being taken to an island to fight against humans who have been enhanced with a drug that prevents them from feeling pain while also increasing their physical abilities. Can Jake get out of this or is he doomed?

All right the most disappointing thing here is the fact that the concept for the story is really good! You can’t help but get hyped for something like this because it guarantees a whole lot of action. It’s a classic case of skills vs physical abilities here. These guys may be amped up but the main characters have the edge in fighting technique which you would assume would be enough to take the lead. The problem is breaking the habit of stopping once you have your opponent down because you need to finish them off.

The actual tournament is pretty fun although I think it could have been a bit more balanced. For the most part just about all of the heroes were getting completely destroyed by the fighters and I’m not sure how much I buy that. I get that these guys weren’t rookies or anything but the top level pros should have done a lot better. The place is rigged of course so the winners would quickly get jumped and pummeled by everyone but that should have been necessary more times than it was.

Of course the film does get quite violent here with each fighter meeting rather painful ends. There are more survivors than I expected there to be which is a silver lining for the heroes but yeah they get put through the wringer. At least I don’t question why they would enter such a tournament this time since they were all forced into it. It’s the best explanation for why you would enter a tournament where almost everyone is guaranteed to be murdered. Also since it’s life or death, characters do grab guns and whatever they can which absolutely makes sense. Why stick to hand to hand when the whole thing is rigged anyway right?

One of the plots where the film drops the ball is with Mariella though. So she is the daughter of the main villain and gets beaten up whenever a setback happens. It’s really explained to us quite vividly that her life here is awful and filled with abuse. So you’d expect she wouldn’t have any sympathy for the villains right? Like I can get her betraying the heroes since she is afraid of what will happen if they lose but if the villains go down then that’s fine right? Instead she actually seems concerned and saddened by what happens to the main villain and you’re just shaking your head.

She should be absolutely cheering by that point. He had her publicly beaten and humiliated and yet she isn’t filled with anger at what’s going on? We also find out that she can fight later on around the mid point of the film which would have really helped her in a lot of the early scenes….yeah the writing here wasn’t great to say the least. Most of the villains are also annoying and can’t really fight. They just use their status and cheap shots to beat everyone up.

The strongest fighter was probably the traitor Vinny who also only got as far as he did due to cheap shots. In a fair fight he was not going to stand a chance against Jake and he knew it. Jake could be annoying here as well though because the guy is clearly a top tier fighter but falls for the easiest traps imaginable. At one point he is warned numerous times that Vinny is evil which should have been absolutely obvious from the jump, but at least when he realized that the whole phone call was a ruse right?

Well somehow he doesn’t put the pieces together and loses in the most sucker punch-ish way possible. He just turns the corner and gets knocked out. It’s not the only time he gets beaten up either and even when he’s winning, Jake doesn’t push the advantage and runs off. It’s all just pretty annoying because with his skill level he should be doing way better. By the time he gets serious, a ton of characters have already died. It’s an odd case where you don’t feel like he’s in a ton of danger most of the time and yet you know that everyone around him is doomed because he won’t do anything.

You definitely get Mortal Kombat vibes from the film and can see the potential but it just didn’t work. I’d also argue the film could have stood to have started the tournament earlier so that way there is time for more of the heroes to win one round before they get taken out by the higher ranking fighters. I haven’t seen a ton of team vs team films in the martial arts genre yet so that would have been a lot of fun but it’s relegated to the end. I will say that the fights have at least improved since the first film though. The film definitely gets that credit at least.

Overall, Bloodfist II has some fun ideas but still holds itself back. The random scene of Jake having an affair while he is down in the dumps was wildly bad but once we get on the island we get a lot of fights. The main heroine’s plot is fumbled though and we needed more battles. As with the first film, it will scratch the itch of being a solid action film with a lot of fighting but there’s not much beyond that and ultimately I would say you’ll want to pick a different movie to watch instead. For now this is still not touching Mortal Kombat which is the golden standard for tournament films. We need more titles like that.

Overall 4/10

Bloodfist Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Time for one of those action packed martial art films! Bloodfist has some good moments to be sure and while the action scenes aren’t quite as dynamic as a lot of the other action titles I’ve seen, they work well enough. The main problem here really just comes from the fact that the film tends to get distracted by other elements which are not even needed.

The movie starts with one guy preparing to throw a fight as expected but his opponent is just rubbing it in too much. This causes the fighter to stop holding back and he claims victory. Unfortunately the mafia don’t like that and so after he leaves the venue, drunk and out of sorts…he is quickly overwhelmed in a fight and murdered. We then cut to his brother Jake who finds out about this and decides to avenge him. The local cops are not very helpful but a guy named Kwong explains that there is a big tournament coming up and if Jake enters he will be able to fight the murderer.

Jake is already a strong fighter but is he really able to handle this? Kwong will train him but is not thrilled with Jake constantly getting distracted by all his flirting with Nancy. Kwong tells him time and time again that this will weaken Jake but he doesn’t care. Unfortunately this is easily the weakest part of the film. Jake is here to avenge his brother so it’s true that he really doesn’t have time to be messing around like this. Shouldn’t he be focused on training to the max and winning? Everything else can come in afterwards.

The romance scenes just drag on and on. Additionally the film is going for easy clicks with fanservice scenes that kept the TV censors pretty busy the whole time. These moments don’t add to the film at all and are clearly just here for those reasons. Once we get to the fights then at least there’s more to focus on. Now the film does get extremely predictable by this point. You know that Jake’s friend Baby is absolutely going to get wrecked in the fight but the film decides to go a little extra and make things rough for his girlfriend as well. The worst part is it’s partially Jake’s fault that she gets taken out when he jumps in to de-escalate things.

In this tournament nobody cares about murder or anything like that so it’s not like Chin Woo is disqualified or anything. It just reminds you how crazy all of the characters have to be to even think about entering this thing. You’re putting yourself in a position where the villain can legally torture you. Even if you’re absolutely fanatical about fighting this seems like a really bad idea to me. The film definitely does get rather violent during the matches. Not always in a bloody way to be honest but sometimes just with the explicit bone snapping and extra hits after the fight was already over.

You can definitely feel the pain there. Chin Woo is a very generic main villain though. The guy is strong and ruthless…but that’s about the only character traits to the guy. The film didn’t bother giving him more than that and I guess I don’t blame the title because there wouldn’t be much reason to do so. Most of the characters here are on the two dimensional side. They’re filling out classic character traits to keep the story moving. Nancy is basically just the love interest, Baby is the friend who will inevitably be crushed, Jake is the MC, etc.

The only one who actually has a lot of depth to him is Kwong. The film handles him really well and his role is bigger than you’d expect. He’s not just the old mentor who is super good at fighting and always ready to train a new fighter. This guy is very important and active in the story which was a good idea on the film’s part. I’d even go as far as to say that Kwong is a highlight in the title overall and helps to enhance the movie. You definitely couldn’t say that about just anyone.

Bloodfist also has a really good climax. I dare say that it even tops the actual final battle of the tournament both in choreography as well as location. It just feels like more of a true fight and I always like when the fighters take the battle out of the ring by the end. As I mentioned earlier, the fights aren’t exactly top tier despite the true skills of the actors. It doesn’t have the right camera angles and dynamics to take things to the next level. That said, they are still good fights and there is a good amount of them. If you take away the subplot romance and the extra fanservice scenes then this film would have actually been a good one.

There’s just no reason to go to the strip club and it’s a sign that the writers were not confident in their own abilities. I’d also argue that the writing holds things back a bit like Jake not always acting as urgently as he should be considering the stakes. So this will always be in the shadow of better fighting films like Mortal Kombat and Rocky. I don’t see this one quite becoming as well known or making a comeback. It was big enough to get a bunch of sequels of course but it’s not a true A tier contender.

Overall, If you like action and want to see a bunch of fights then you should check this one out. It is very straight forward about including a ton of action and what you see is what you get. It’s not trying to do anything fancy and the execution isn’t great but I could see it fitting the bill if you just want some action. Unfortunately for Bloodfist there are just way too many other action films to check out if I wanted a quality action film. So I have to give this one a thumbs down and keep it moving. We’ll see how the sequel fares.

Overall 4/10

City Hunter Review

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It’s time for a fairly wacky comedy film. This one definitely does not hold back in terms of how out there it gets. That said, the humor doesn’t really land very well most of the time. There are some good moments but on the whole the film ends up dragging itself out and whenever you think a hype scene is about to occur, your hopes get obliterated right away. This is basically what happens if you make a film with someone like James Bond as the main character…

The movie starts off with City Hunter’s partner getting extremely sloppy as he is gunned down by a group of villains. He quickly tells the hunter not to get together with his sister and City Hunter vows to live up to those words. He’s busy flirting with every girl in town anyway but his days of slacking off have come to an end as he is hired for an important job. He must locate a girl named Kyoko who is with the wrong crowd and her father wants her back. The City Hunter vows to complete the mission for all of the wrong reasons and after fumbling the operation, follows her onto a fancy cruise. What he doesn’t realize is that the boat is swarming with so many terrorists who can fight in hand to hand combat far better than he can. Is it all over for him?

So here’s the deal, I’m all for some good slapstick and I don’t even mind a main character who is completely unable to fight. Someone who is out of his depths the whole time can be a lot of fun with some sarcastic humor. The important point is that he has to be likable and unfortunately….that’s where he falters big time. This guy is just too much of a flirt who prioritizes that over the mission. I won’t say he’s as bad as James Bond but any scene with this guy is extremely annoying.

The film certainly does a good job of incorporating a lot of harem type antics into the movie to make this as authentic as possible but it comes at the expense of the movie being any good. City Hunter should have leaned more into his goofy nature and how he couldn’t find the police office let alone any crooks, but instead it focuses on what a perv the guy is. You’re rooting for the villains to take him out most of the time.

Also most of the film’s humor basically revolves around this which gets old fast and doesn’t come across as clever. There’s quite a lot of fanservice here which bogs down the movie. It’s not quite Charlie’s Angels territory which still takes the dubious crown in that department but it’s fairly unrelenting here. Even when viewing the film under the parody lens, you’re not really going to be sticking with this one for very long.

Kaori isn’t really a great heroine either. She is always jealous of the other girls that City Hunter is with and so she pouts a lot but a better heroine would have really been beating him up all the time. She imagines doing so, but actually tackling him more would have been better. I want to see some confidence and charisma. Instead she goes as far as to pretend to ally herself with the villains at times to get a reaction out of the guy…although it never works anyway. Why would she even want to be with someone who is clearly not going to be loyal in the slightest? City Hunter would drop her in an instant as soon as another girl talks to him.

Now they probably could have let up a little with how many times Kaori gets knocked to the ground though. It just gets sad after a while when you see how often she is the film’s punching bag. Kiyoko gets into a fair deal of trouble as well but unlike Kaori, Kiyoko was basically seeking this out the whole time. I don’t think Kiyoko played this very smart at all from the start but intelligence isn’t the strong suit of just about any character here.

Okay lets talk about some positives. For what it’s worth, there are a few good fight scenes once in a while. There’s a solid fight in the theater where City Hunter mainly gets dominated but eventually churns out a win. It’s still part comedy of course but it works well enough. The best fight is against the main villain’s bouncer though. Both characters move so fast that they keep on missing each other. See, this is actually a pretty good gag that is parodying how good of a fighter they both are. They’re so good that they both actually end up looking weak. Now that’s clever. There are a few other good jokes in there as well.

The effects are so bad that they go all the way around into actually being funny as well. This may not be intentional but I wouldn’t even be surprised if that’s what they were going for. This film is trying to be as silly as possible which is why it’s a shame that it’s not better. Usually I’d be a sucker for a film like this but it just didn’t have the right humor approach. Humor can be very difficult to land of course but at the same time it’s rare to mess up this badly. Seriously just make City Hunter less of a two dimensional character and you could be on to something! A film like this should never feel like its dragging and yet that happens at times. It’s a flurry of activity but sometimes it feels like nobody is going anywhere which doesn’t help matters.

Overall, City Hunter is a movie that just tries way too hard. It ends up being more cringeworthy than funny most of the time. Having a better main character would have helped a whole lot. Ultimately it’s probably for the best that most people don’t remember this one. Why would you adapt City Hunter instead of the original Gundam or even Astro Boy? Trust me when I say there were plenty of other manga titles you could have adapted before this one even entered the conversation. You may as well call this guy the City Hunter by the end of it with how much he’s getting wrecked the whole time.

Overall 4/10

The Preacher’s Wife Review

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Uh oh, it’s time for another Christmas film that I’ve got some issues with. I’m talking serious issues here that definitely do take away from the film. It’s aiming to be a fairly wholesome experience but by the time I’m done with it you’ll see why this didn’t actually work. It’s a shame because the film had some real potential here but ended up fumbling the bag by the end and leaves you wishing that it could have managed to make it to its full potential. It really should have been the next big thing but ultimately it was not to be.

So the movie starts off by introducing us to Henry who is having a hard time as the pastor of his Church lately. Everything in his life is just falling apart, he feels like he can’t get his message across to the congregation anymore and some of the community are starting to get into trouble. One was accused of robbing a store at gunpoint, another is being taken away into a foster home, etc. He also hasn’t made any time for his wife in a long while. Just as things look like they’re about to break, an angel named Dudley appears. He says that he will help make everything better and yet…it seems as if he is after Henry’s wife. If Henry doesn’t move fast then his wife may be gone for good, but how do you stop an angel with unimaginable power?

The bulk of my complaints with the film are about the angel here. As an angel Dudley should be a very virtuous being, one without any real faults who is here to help. If I’m being extra technical he shouldn’t even be a human who died and then became an angel since all will rise up together but there are different theories on that so I can let it slide even if I don’t agree with it. But at the very least he shouldn’t still be interested in romance. I think the plot is partially to hype up Julia as being so attractive that even the divine want her which if that was the film’s intent could be funny but I think the film just seriously wanted a romance which makes no sense here.

The film really goes hard into this plot as they go out on dates and Dudley looks visibly upset when he has to go back to his mission of getting Henry and Julia to be together. One of the worst scenes is the very last one where Julia wants him to stay and he says how he has to go and the two are basically sobbing internally until the guy runs off. We absolutely did not need a final kiss scene there or for both characters to be so filled with regret. It should have been a full break with Dudley just running off. He really didn’t feel like an angel, he was written to be too much like some ordinary joe.

That’s probably the character he should have been written as then. Just make him a friendly ghost who decided he wants to help Henry out to get over the fact that he died early. It doesn’t change much of the plot but makes his flaws a little more understandable. It would still be bad since he is being a homewrecker of course but at least it’s not an angel doing that. That’s just such a crazy plot all the way around. Come onnnnnnnnnn.

I’m afraid Julia is partially to blame here as well. It takes two to tango after all and she’s still having fun dancing with him and doing all of this stuff. She’s even called out on it by her mother and admits that she is window shopping. Look, this is all behavior that is completely inappropriate once you’re married. I actually do believe that guys and girls can be friends which is something that would get you booed off of a lot of streets but it’s a real thing. You just have to know the boundaries. What are those? No 1 on 1 sit down lunch “meetups” because that’s basically a date, absolutely no dancing all right. Let’s not get crazy here. Ice skating together like that is a bad idea because it’ll probably involve a lot of contact, mountain climbing, etc. So yeah a lot of activities are out of bounds now but hey that’s the price of picking your one true love and getting married. You have to acknowledge that your personal life will never be the same. As bad as Henry was throughout the whole film, Julia still has to stay strong on her end as long as they are married.

As for Henry, he was practically begging Julia to cheat on him throughout the movie. He did every single taboo that typically causes this to happen in real life. Completely ignoring her every day, always being outside, not showing her any kind of romance, etc. Part of what makes Henry so bad here is that there is absolutely no excuse. He’s busy yes but he’s not so busy that he couldn’t have made time for her if he actually cared. Choosing to visit someone at the hospital instead of going on the date with her was egregious for multiple reasons. One is that he could have just brought her to the hospital with him and then at least they’re still together. That’s pretty obvious right? He also could have stayed to personally explain this to her instead of ghosting her. Henry finally could have not told Dudley to take her on a date in his place. Henry was just so annoying here and then he has a scene near the end of the film where she makes him a hot chocolate and he ignores her to head out.

Why was that scene so bad? Well, it’s near the end of the film, past the point where he’s supposed to have mostly learned his lesson already. So this scene showed me that he hasn’t learned a single thing. He’s still making the same mistakes over and over and over again. One area where this film was particularly weak even compared to the original is his big confrontation with Dudley about the guy going after his wife. Henry mostly just does a lot of whining here when I was expecting him to be a little fiercer and more direct. Maybe punch the guy out or something right?

The movie does have good humor from start to finish though with some solid writing throughout. You will laugh from time to time because the burns are quite sharp. Outside of the problematic stuff I wrote about above, it can be a pretty wholesome movie as well. It’s just that it’s really hard to overlook the stuff I mentioned. In fact I would say it’s impossible because that’s part of the main plot of the film. So yeah it’s one of those things where whether you like it or not, it’s a big factor and that’s a shame.

Overall, The Preacher’s Wife is a film with a decent plot but one that it doesn’t fully understand. It really wanted to have fun with the premise of the main guy getting so distracted by tons of random stuff that his marriage starts to fall apart. You can do a lot with that plot but having the angel be the one slowly encouraging the wife to cheat is a massive no no. There’s no way he would be doing this much flirting and leading on. He wouldn’t forget his mission like that and it’s a very distracting part of the film. There are good things to be found here but on the whole I would have to give this a thumbs down as a result.

Overall 4/10

Bright Eyes Review

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It’s time for a film that mainly has a very wholesome feel to it but at the same time is a little darker once you actually think about it. I’d say the film goes a bit too far in that area and has enough scenes that just aren’t very fun. The main heroine isn’t really able to hold her ground as the lead either being only a kid and so the film doesn’t go quite as far as it could have. The film ultimately had a lot of room for improvement.

The movie starts off with introducing us to Shirley who lives with her mother in the house of a really rich family that is very mean to the two of them. Mary works as a maid there and so Anita treats her with constant contempt. Shirley’s father died a while back but the Air Force fighters all look after her and help Mary with that task. One of them in particular, Loop really wants to make sure to keep her safe. He suspects that Anita’s family aren’t the nicest but Mary doesn’t complain and he doesn’t really push the envelope there. However, a custody battle over Shirley begins and so he is forced to throw his hat in the ring because if Shirley was forced to join the family he knows they would not treat her properly. Can he claim victory?

Mary is a solid character here who is really just trying to make ends meet and she has done a pretty good job. She puts up with as much disrespect as she needs to in order to get money and look out for Shirley. That’s why it’s rough the way her character arc goes because she was really doing her best and thing still did not go her way at all. I thought the film was really harsh to her because everything went wrong. She lost her husband early on and then another tragedy happens to her.

Then we have Shirley who is okay but she’s very young here so it’s not like there is much for her to do. She is always fairly cheery and takes things in stride. You won’t really see her crying or getting too upset no matter what happens. I’d still say her road isn’t a very happy one even if she doesn’t fully realize what is happening. It would have been nice if she could have spoken up more about Joy, the rich kid who was always being a bully. I know Shirley is a nice person but nothing wrong with calling out the bully and putting her in her place. Shirley may not have had the homefield advantage so the fallout might not be great but I doubt she would really be thinking about that.

Anita and Wellington are fairly cartoonish with how mean they are to Shirley. I’d also say as a result they really aren’t smart at all either. Basically they pretend to be nice to Uncle Ned in order to get their inheritance and yet they do everything possible to make him upset? He says to be nice to Shirley and they basically don’t change their attitudes at all. She keep on allowing their daughter Joy to terrorize Ned and generally be a pain the whole time as well. You just feel like they should have been putting up a much better effort to stay on his good side considering the stakes here. I would say their efforts were pretty awful all around.

Ned was actually a decent character at least. He was actively trying to make things better for Shirley and clearly cared the whole time. It’s really rough not being able to walk on your own since even in a wheelchair his options were limited. I imagine he would have left the family a lot sooner otherwise. The ending is satisfying since you were rooting for him a lot. Loop also did good. The guy was maybe a little more bitter than expected with Adele but it all worked out. I don’t blame him for being upset when she ran off so perhaps getting together again should have been out of the question but otherwise you do need to keep it together for Shirley considering the stakes at play.

For Adele we never got a ton of details on her past and why her relationship with Loop didn’t work out. I was expecting some kind of big reveal/twist on why she left but I guess from the context we have, it was just her making a really big mistake. Ultimately the movie’s ending is good but what holds it back is how it could be a bit mean spirited like I mentioned earlier and the film wasn’t always very entertaining. The songs were definitely really weak here with the main one really not landing in particular. I don’t think Shirley makes for a very good main character either so there isn’t a whole lot of replay value in this one.

Overall, There just isn’t a whole lot of reason to watch this one. It’s not a very bad movie or anything like that but it can be boring at times and I would have handled the plot in a different way. The writing wasn’t always very good and not having great songs hurts as well. I wouldn’t call it a happy movie in the end even if the film tries to really jump forward and not worry about the specifics the whole time. I think you could do better for Christmas films and so for this time I would say to skip this one and check out something else like Jingle All The Way.

Overall 4/10

Someone to Watch Over Me Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about betrayal and ultimately not focusing up in time to save the day. This film definitely gets real dramatic and while it had some potential as a solid thriller, it’s ultimately not able to live up to it. The character cast is not very solid and that will ultimately always hold a film back from its full potential.

The movie starts with Claire attending a fancy party with her boyfriend. She decides to quickly ditch him for an old flame though and heads off to have an affair but before she can, he is murdered by the gangster known as Joey. She quickly screams so that Joey knows she witnessed this event and heads to the cops. They assign family man Mike to watch over her until she can testify that Joey is the crook. So there’s a strict house arrest and in theory Claire should be completely safe since this movie is realistic and it’s not like the villains are everywhere. Unfortunately Claire runs off to a party anyway and while Mike is busy having some drinks she is attacked by Joey who confirms that he will murder her if she testifies. Now she has to decide once and for all if she will be the witness here or run off. In the meantime she can betray her boyfriend Neil once again by seducing Mike who has about as much willpower as a folded napkin.

So there’s a lot going on here and definitely a lot to unpack. For starters all of the relationships here are pretty weak. Neil really has no respect for himself with the way he lets Claire run off and show him up all the time. In general I actually think parties are a really bad environment for a relationship, particularly the kind of party where everyone is getting super drunk. I would even go as far as to say you should never do any kind of dancing with other people once you’re in a relationship. Hey I know it’s a bit of a hot take but me personally? I think that’s a good boundary to have.

The sad part for Neil is it’s clear that Claire really doesn’t like him throughout the entire movie. She’s basically just with him because he has money and is a stable guy. So she intends to go crazy and have her fun now but this way she has somewhere to come back to and this guy is completely oblivious. The problem is this makes it a little harder to root for Claire because she’s such a bad character. Couldn’t they have made her a little more heroic or something? I think that would have really gone a long way personally. She just keeps on making mistake after mistake.

Of course I’m not going to shield Mike at all though. The guy is married and so any fooling around is completely taboo. Mike still allows himself to fall for Claire and that’s game over. It makes him such a bad character. Once you have gone and taken the oath you really can’t be doing things like that. He needs to stay strong and just be a quality character rather than just sabotaging his life like that. The worst part is of course he’s messing things up for his wife Ellie and their kid as well. It’s the kind of thing you can’t take back. There are no second chances when you cheat like that.

SO then you can’t root for Mike either and you’re hoping he gets bumped off in the end. The final ending of the film isn’t really satisfying for anyone. All of the characters were just so bad and it goes without saying that the romance here is abysmal as well since you’re dreading every moment with Claire and Mike. You just knew from the start that they would get together no matter how much of a bad idea that was. The film should have focused more on the actual protection angle and the main plot with Joey. I guarantee that would have been many times better than what we got.

As a villain Joey is fairly generic. He’s got a whole gang at the ready and doesn’t want to leave town since he owns the place. If the heroes actually played things smart then he wouldn’t have had a chance which is why of course they had to go to parties and such. The hostage situation was likely inevitable after a certain point which is why having Mike’s family stay in a seedy area was a bit of a risky move. I suppose you can’t move every time there is a dangerous situation but it certainly didn’t help matters.

In general the writing isn’t bad at least. You actually are invested in what’s going on which is good. It just would have been sooooo much better if the characters were more likable. I guarantee it would have helped the film turn the corner and gain a few stars. When more of the film is about the cheating plot than the actual witness protection then you know that something went wrong. Focus more on Mike lying to Claire about the danger she’s in and have the drama be about that. Get rid of them hooking up at all and instead have more moments of Joey trying to break in or some minions lurking around. Play up the paranoid angle, etc. Lots of ways you could have pushed this to make it a really dramatic film with a lot of action rather than one about bad choices all the way.

Overall, This was not a good film. The main characters absolutely sabotaged it and the ending was very weak. It just wasn’t deserved so I would have handled that wayyyy differently. Past a certain point the film was doomed anyway but at least the ending could have tried to deal with the severity of it a little better instead of brushing it all to the side. I would recommend skipping this film. There are way better thrillers out there that focus on the main plot all the way through as opposed to all of the drama.

Overall 4/10

Out of the Fog Review

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It’s time for one of those movies where 90% of it wouldn’t happen if the characters would just talk to each other. Unfortunately everyone’s rather tightlipped here which leads to the villain getting away with a whole lot. At least it should serve as a cautionary tale that sometimes you need a little help to deal with a villain and that’s okay.

The movie starts with Olaf and Jonah enjoying their fishing as per usual. It’s their main hobby as a way to take a break from their day jobs and it’s been a long standing position. Well one day a guy named Harold shows up and basically he’s a criminal who blackmails people into giving them money. He says that if the heroes don’t give him money then he’s going to break their boat and beat them up. If they continue to resist then he will ultimately destroy them. Jonah is completely against this while Olaf believes they should just pay the money. meanwhile Harold starts dating Jonah’s daughter and Jonah doesn’t have the heart to tell her what a bad man he is. will they be okay?

There’s a lot of issues here of course but the biggest one is not telling Stella about Harold from the beginning. As soon as Jonah found out he should have told her so she could hopefully break this off and then he could make a move. Instead he stays silent about the whole thing even after Harold comes over one day and beats Jonah up for lying about the money. It’s just a really crummy situation all around. I appreciate Jonah standing up for himself for a bit but he really needed to take that a step further.

Get the cops involved, let Stella know, make this a really big deal as needed. Jonah is well known in the area so he would have a lot of support. Yes Harold is dangerous but the longer you let him dictate the terms of engagement the worse it’s going to be in the end. Olaf is a lot more passive so I don’t agree with him in just paying the toll. The toll is simply going to get more and more expensive which is why in general you’re never supposed to give a blackmailer what they want. It will just never end so while it’s going to be dangerous you have to do something about it.

Olaf and Jonah ultimately come up with a plan to murder Harold which is good but they do fumble a bit when they aren’t able to go through with it. Fortunately luck is on their side and it works out but they easily could have died there. When you make an attempt to murder someone but then stop halfway, that’s usually going to end very poorly. Trust me that’s the worst way to go.

As the main villain Harold is pretty annoying here. He’s your general blackmailer so nothing special there but he just keeps getting wins here due to the heroes not coordinating properly. The fact that he’s persistent with Stella until she agrees to go out with him is awful. Then he’s basically rubbing it in Jonah’s face while the guy doesn’t say anything. Yeah he needed to go down a whole lot sooner.

Stella is unfortunately an awful character as well. So you know how I was upset with Jonah for not telling her the truth about Harold from the jump right? Well later on he finally manages to tell her that he blackmails people and she basically just says that everyone has to make a living somehow. She’s completely fine with this guy being a crook as long as it means she gets to travel and live a rich lifestyle. It’s a really big hit against her character because it shows how she is really lacking a moral compass. She will do whatever she needs to in order to move forward.

Yes this includes betraying George, the guy who’s been with her for a while. Yeah their relationship wasn’t exactly official all the way through. I guess you could say she was keeping him around until she found something better but it’s a pretty rough deal for him. He even tries to fight Harold but unfortunately gets folded immediately. This guy just needs to forget about Stella because she really doesn’t seem worth it.

The worst part is that the fishing hobby will never be quite as relaxing as it once was. Now the two main characters will always be on the lookout a bit wondering if someone else is going to try to appear and pull a fast one on them. Additionally it’s not like the relationship with Jonah and his daughter will ever be the same since she basically chose a random stranger over trusting in his advice. That’s a really tough blow and so the fallout from this film will likely be rather large.

The writing is good though. As you’ve come to expect from these old titles, the script is on point and the pacing is good. The film doesn’t drag on or anything like that even if you may be grimacing at some points. At its core this also feels like a situation that can and probably has happened to people before. So make sure you have your proper takeaways from the film on what not to do and how you could avoid this outcome.

Overall, Out of the Fog is a movie that has some pretty interesting storylines but the whole thing just comes across as annoying. Harold should have been stopped a whole lot sooner than he was if the characters had actually been paying attention here. Just bring in the cops and end this real fast. Instead they have to suffer for quite a while until they finally manage to take this guy down with a little luck. If the characters had acted better it all would have been over a lot quicker. I’d say you could do better in the Noir genre.

Overall 4/10

April Fool’s Day Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

April Fool’s Day is definitely an interesting film. Because of the nature of being a film about the trickiest day of the year there are a ton of different fake outs and craziness going on. At the same time, the film is still quite violent and doesn’t hold back with those moments so the question is if the context can sort of help out here or is it still the same thing in the end? I will say the absurd nature of it does give the film a little extra punch but ultimately it’s still not one I would be very likely to recommend.

The film starts off with a bunch of students getting invited to a big April Fool’s party at the fancy mansion of Muffy. The teens are always messing with each other a whole lot with all kinds of pranks but things start to go a bit far when someone is murdered. Is this all really a prank or is someone taking this chance to bump off each and every student? One thing’s for sure, these guys are going to need to try and stay one step ahead of the pranks or they are doomed!

You’re supposed to be kept off balance from the jump because of how much these guys love pranking each other. Put it this way, we have a fake death very early on in the film with the two guys faking an accident by the boat. From there on you know that no prank is out of bounds and even if the characters start to physically fight each other it may be part of the act. So you can’t trust any of the characters or their actions for the duration of the film because you really don’t know what is fake and what is real. I’d say that’s the most effective part of the film because it almost borderlines on being parody but it’s still played very seriously.

It does mean that none of the characters are all that likable though. You just feel like they all go too far with it and so hanging around any of them during the April Fool’s week would be completely unbearable. Even the nicer characters like Muffy are constantly pranking everyone! I would quickly come up with some kind of excuse every year about how I have to go abroad or something. Anything to stay away from the absolute madness!

All of the romances in the film are very weak since they all just seem to be quick affairs over the summer without a whole lot to them. None of these guys and girls actually seem all that loyal or faithful and would cheat in a heartbeat. They’re basically joking about that throughout as it is. You could say in a lot of ways the teenagers in this film are the stereotypical figures you would expect from a horror title like this. None of them would make for great friends but hey they all get along at least.

Of course this is another thing limiting the film. If you don’t really care for the characters then all of the fake jump scares and pranks aren’t going to work quite as well. The film can be on the violent side as well at times with the deaths. Obviously not on the same level as any of the real big slashers though.

Now this is a film with some twists and turns in it. Some of those twists will really change your outlook on the film as a whole so it’s important to factor that in. I will say that it is effective and I can’t even say that I saw the twists coming. Not all of them anyway. Some are a bit hard to believe in hindsight though like we’re talking big stretches of disbelief on how you could have pulled some of the pranks off. I suppose I can accept the disbelief though only because I can maybe picture how it would work. I don’t think it’s likely for these teens to pull them off though.

There is also a lot of convenience in terms of characters being in the right place at the right time to get pranked or notice a deal that the culprit wants them to find but I can buy this one a little more. My excuse would be that there are tons of extra pranks and backup traps so if one doesn’t work then you have a backup at the ready. Mayyyyybe a stretch but not as much of one.

Overall, I’d say how much you enjoy this film will all depend on how much you enjoy all the fakeouts. Either you will get burned out after a while and think the film overdoes it or you’ll enjoy how much it doubles down. The film is completely relentless on this right up through to the end so it never gets sidetracked. The ending is really solid to be honest and actually does win the film back a star or two. So ultimately I liked the idea behind the whole movie. The execution just needs to be so much better and it’s rough because I don’t think these are twists you should pull off too often or it’ll get old fast. So you can already say that one of the opportunities has been wasted now. Next time just make the characters a lot more likable, improve the writing and we’d really be in business. Until then this one will have to be a pass.

Overall 4/10

The Outsiders Review

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It’s time for a film about a bunch of teenagers who grew up in a rather rough town and basically had to adapt to survive. Unfortunately due to this there aren’t very many winners at all. By the end of the film everyone’s really in a bit of trouble and none of the characters are all that likable. There’s definitely a lot going on here but mainly I’d call it more of a depressing film half the time.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Ponyboy and Johnny. They’re good friends who generally try living their lives without causing trouble but the town is divided into two gangs and so they are members of one group (Greasers) and do have to fight when the others show up. (SOCS) They generally all get along in the first gang but things always escalate with the other one. Well, one day in self defense Johnny murders a member of the opposing gang while protecting Ponyboy and now he has to be on the run. Can they ever get their normal lives back?

It’s definitely a film with a fairly slow pace as a lot of it is the characters reflecting about life an just what it means to live in a society. Johnny and Ponyboy have to stay at different hideouts for a while but things continue to escalate and more and more people die. The reason I would say this is a depressing film is because of all that. Sure the characters learn some lessons about how violence isn’t worth it and how the squabbles shouldn’t take over your life. That said, everyones’ lives are ruined by that point so does it really matter? I can see how this i s listed as a coming of age movie but usually you’d expect those to be a little happier. This one’s just grim for pretty much the entire duration.

Also right off the bat the film doesn’t do the best job of making the Greasers all that likable. One of their members is a guy named Dallas who goes around aggressively flirting with the ladies, is into shady clubs and runs around with a gun causing trouble. Yes the film does show that he really cares about Ponyboy and the rest of his friends but he’s still not shown as a particularly good character. He’s a complex character to be sure but a little more heroic would be nice.

I dare say the most heroic character was Darry who did his best trying to keep Ponyboy and Sodapop on the straight and narrow. It was just difficult doing it on his own while he’s still a kid himself. At least I would say he installed a decent amount of goodness into them compared to the others. Ponyboy for example really didn’t want to be fighting and getting into trouble. He seemed like a good kid who would be defending his friends. He did defend the girl at the movie theater who was being harassed so a scene like that goes a long way.

The film is at its best when it’s about Ponyboy and Johnny just enjoying their friendship and having a good time. It’s a nice breather from everything constantly going wrong for them. Johnny was also a really good friend. He stepped up to save Ponyboy even at the expense of his future and throughout the movie he was a really good friend to have. Probably the most likable character out of the group.

We get to see Johnny take a huge risk to save a lot of lives later on which is something some of the other characters probably would have hesitated with. It’s a shame that the characters couldn’t all let bygones be bygones by that point but we do end up needing to have one more big fight in the end. The film does go to show that some of the SOCS are reasonable and don’t actually want to fight. In that respect the film keeps it realistic with both gangs having some good people in them.

Unfortunately when they are in a crowd there is ultimately not enough of them to stop the gang activities as a whole. I’m always a bit iffy on this since I feel like you just need to leave the gang then and not be a part of this. It’s just easier said than done in a small town where everyone is a part of one of the two gangs. So if you try to leave then you may not end up living through that experience. Which in a way proves the point of how dangerous they are.

I like to think that after the definitive gang fight at the end there won’t be any more rumbles since everyone learned their lesson but at the same time a part of you kind of doubts it. Well, it’s definitely good that the gang culture isn’t nearly as mainstream now as it was then. Of course gangs will always exist but it’s not like every teenager is in on it nowadays the way they all are in this film.

Overall, I think the film could have done with being a little more lighthearted. Tone down the body count by one or two so there is something to really celebrate by the end. It certainly succeeds in being really emotional and somber the whole time but that usually limits a film’s potential. Sure things are finally going to be looking up after the final events since the cycle of violence is finally ended but it came at a massive cost. This is a film that wouldn’t have a lot of replay value because it would just make for a tough watch. There’s a lot happening in the movie so you’ll never be bored but ultimately that’s just not enough to make it really solid. I would say to give this one a skip.

Overall 4/10

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for some more vampires! This movie definitely got some buzz because of the whole Abraham Lincoln thing which I thought was pretty clever. It’s a nice way to blend the supernatural and history by adding him in there. Naturally I do prefer a more futuristic setting myself but it works out better than some of the other vampire films that I’ve seen. Still not a thumbs up mind you but not a horrible film or anything.

The movie doesn’t waste time as Abraham’s mother is murdered by a vampire early on. He wants to avenge her but isn’t really able to do anything against superhuman creatures like this. Initially he doesn’t even know that the assailant was a vampire and tries using a gun but it doesn’t do much. Fortunately he runs into a guy named Henry who offers to train Abraham but only if the hero puts aside his quest for vengeance. Henry will give him the targets and they will continue to take down all of the vampires but slowly and surely. Abraham lies and agrees to this but knows that deep down he has to avenge his mother at all cots! He trains in the art of slaying vampire and gets quite good at it which also starts to get the attention of the higher up members among the villains. Will Abraham be okay?

It’s always fun to have someone find out about what’s going on beyond their small pocket of the world. Once Abraham learns about the vampires he starts seeing them everywhere. Sure enough there are tons of them and murdering them all will take more than a lifetime. Henry does offer to turn Abraham into a vampire but he declines since that would be going a step too far. I definitely get it since being immortal really sounds like a pain after a while. You have endless enemies and while you can’t die, you can be put into positions where you might wish that you could.

I do think Henry’s role is a little too passive at times though. He has Abraham do most of the work but doesn’t actively take down a bunch of vampires himself. Henry makes some excuses like how he can’t really go against them and I forget if it’s a power level thing or something relating to the blood but you have to find a way to get around that. In a way being a vampire puts him in a better position to do a lot of damage than Abe when you really think about it. So yeah he really just needs to step up and get the job done.

I did like him for the most part beyond that but he does have some sketchy moments later on. Basically he’s the kind of guy who will always be hiding some things and you have to decide if that’s a dealbreaker or not. For Abraham it nearly was but ultimately he gets past it. Abraham is a very reasonable main character. He fights as needed and helps a lot of people out. He doesn’t really love having to use violence all the time but it’s the only way that really works.

Near the end of the film he even tries to give up fighting for a while but it wasn’t to be. I do like that we actually got to see him as President/leader for a while though. At first he’s just a solo hunter doing his own thing but after that he gets to make commands and lead his troops. With the villains using an army of vampires the heroes did have to adapt after all. I do question if the weapons are really enough to balance things though. Once the vampires started to move more openly I feel like the humans wouldn’t stand a chance. Being so outmatched physically is something that it’s difficult to make up for even with a bunch of guns and ammo.

Abraham’s boss Joshua was a good character. He had some nice banter and went over well as one of the supporting characters. His friend Will also did good and the whole time I had been expecting him to be some kind of undercover agent/traitor so I was glad instead he was someone that Lincoln could depend on. Mary shows up for a bit which makes sense if you know your history and she was a solid character. In general the heroes were all reasonably solid here.

The villains are more on the forgettable side. Yeah they’re definitely powerful and don’t go down easily but they’re basically just your standard vampires. So watch enough in the genre and you won’t even remember them. They’re not bad though, I guess at least Adam was good as the main leader of the vampires. The one who bumped off the mother was more on the petty side and he wasn’t nearly as impressive. He’s only able to win when the odds are overwhelmingly in his favor but otherwise he’s not much of a thinker or anything like that.

The film ultimately suffers from the usual vampire issues. It can be a little brutal on the violence with everyone getting bitten and the blood sucking never ends up working out. The fight scenes do require an extensive amount of disbelief to be thrown out the window because no matter how big the axe is, Abe is still just a normal guy. The vampires all have super speed and strength so they should have a leg up on the competition. Dodging an axe for example should be rather easy right? Yet Abe is slaughtering tons of vampires and by the end of the film they really get hit with the nerf as they can’t do anything. You just know that doesn’t make sense.

There isn’t a whole lot of time for fun in this film. It’s really a lot of going from one vampire attack to the next but it still does track better than most other vampire films because it feels like there’s a real story here. Yeah that probably seems like a big shot to the other films but for example the sole focus isn’t on everyone getting bitten. Abe has an actual character arc going here and it can almost feel like a comic book movie at times.

Overall, Abe Lincoln makes for a fun protagonist and I definitely think this movie was a good idea. I’d just put him up against robots or something but making more alternate historical pasts with a supernatural twist is just a lot of fun. It’s probably a bit riskier in the sense that you want to be careful how you adapt certain characters for fear of backlash but if there’s enough good attention to detail then you should be fine. From everything I know of Abe I’d say the film’s portrayal seemed rather solid. I also really liked the ending which isn’t really a cliffhanger so much as a callback but it could work both ways.

Overall 4/10