Category Archives: 7 Star Movies

The Menu Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about the dangers of high end restaurants. The premise is certainly fun and I remember really enjoying the trailer. There are parts of the film that do stretch your disbelief to quite a large extent though. I know the film is part comedy but I think it may be more appropriate to call it part parody. When you do that, it makes a bit more sense but regardless I think you’ll have a good time here.

The movie starts with a bunch of people getting ready to go to a super fancy restaurant. Well, by a bunch I mean around 12 or so. It’s a super exclusive event that costs over 100K per person in order to attend. Margot is not really into this high luxury life but her new boyfriend Tyler is paying for the whole event and he lives for fancy cuisine. So she’ll try to make the best of it but it quickly becomes apparent that he originally had invited another girl and she was the backup plan. Not a great way to start their adventure but Margot will still try to have fun. Unfortunately, the meals are small and very unimpressive. Additionally there appears to be something really sinister about this place. Perhaps going to a secluded island in the middle of nowhere with no way out until the boat that arrives the next day was a bad idea with a guy that she doesn’t know super well????

Now I do sympathize with Margot right away because fancy restaurants are definitely not the way to go. What you have to understand is there are tiers to these things. You have fast food shops like McDonalds, Fast casual shops like Chipotle, fast restaurants like Chili’s, and more standard restaurants like Cheesecake Factory. All of these can be good and still will have a lot of traditional options that taste great. When you go one step further to luxury restaurants is when you start to see the absolute worst foods out there. I’ve only gone to a fancy restaurant once, a place called the Manhatta. Let me tell you, it lives up to the hype of why I don’t dine at places like that.

We’re talking about a place with no menu until you arrive. Based on the day, there will only be up to 4 items you can choose from. It’s a combination that brings a side, main course, and dessert. The whole thing is bundled so you can’t break it and you can forget about substitutions. You’ll probably be spending around $50-$70 by the end for a portion of food that is extremely small and that’s assuming you can find anything that you like. They do the whole song and dance of preparing it in front of you and explaining what you’re eating but I’m here to eat not present. So this film does a great job of showing what a luxury restaurant is like and why it’s no fun.

Even in this movie, I did not like a single meal that they serves except for the last one. Pretty much everything here is loaded with seafood and vegetables which is definitely not something I’m all that interested in. It is fun seeing the characters try to convince themselves that t’s good though. The brainwashing is a big part of the fun here. Every character spent tons of money in order to get here and so this has to be good right? They can’t have been absolutely scammed.

At one point they are served a breadless bread bowl and some characters still try to defend it. So the comedy lands pretty well there. Tyler is a bit over the top with how checked out he is as the guy obsesses with the food but I can appreciate what the film was going for there. He’s the most obnoxious character in the film so you’re rooting for him to get taken down the whole time. One of those really fake guys who has on a mask for a long time but ultimately it shatters before when it’s crunch time.

Now we don’t know quite how long he knew Margot, but it’s definitely clear that she didn’t know the real him. As the only one who didn’t grow up super rich, she is sharper than the rest of the characters. I would still say she is a bit slow to act but at least isn’t just sitting in her chair awaiting her own demise the whole time. She has a good ending and in general showed a lot of spunk. Definitely the best character in the movie.

Where you have to suspend a lot of disbelief is with everyone’s inaction the whole time. They all act like NPCs as they just watch things escalate more and more as the body count rises. Surely they should all do something right? In a situation like this, obviously you need to secure a weapon like one of the large butcher knives and try to make a break for the door or just take everyone out. I would say getting outside is most important because then you can at least try and pick everyone off one by one. If you fight them all at once you’re going to lose.

I’d like to say that everyone should team up and overwhelm the villains but the cynical part of me does think at least half of the characters would just be screaming and not actually providing any assistance. So you really do have to assume that you’re completely on your own which does change the dynamic. Still, you gotta do something and anything is better than nothing. I guess part of the idea is that these characters have never really been in a life or death situation before but even so, I like to think the fight or flight mechanics would start to come through. The film being part comedy ultimately saves the whole feature because if this was played completely seriously then I would have some serious problems with this.

As it stands, it’s annoying but doesn’t crush the film. The pacing is good and the whole thing is very interesting. There are quite a few twists and turns as the movie goes on so it’ll keep you guessing all the way through. There are some fun fake outs and of course a lot of moments that are really happening with no fakeouts needed. This ensures that you are always on your toes. The film is also fairly long and gets to really build up to the premise. There is a lot of tension even early on but you have to wait along with the characters to see if it’s just a feeling or not.

While the film is tame for most of its run, it definitely does have some really violent scenes. They stand out as a big contrast which is likely the point so you are shocked along with the characters. So definitely prepare yourself for that, it’s definitely not a film that is just a smooth ride for everyone. There are a lot of bumps along the road here. There is also an element of each character having some kind of a shady secret although playing into the comedic angle a bit, this isn’t balanced at all. Some characters did crazy stuff while others did basically nothing and the main villain just says that’s too bad. He’s rather insane after all so it’s not like this has to make a lot of sense.

Overall, The Menu is a pretty good film. I did like seeing the breakdown of each menu item even if they all sounded pretty bad. The cast of characters are fairly strong. Not that most of them are particularly likable but they all have established characters and personalities early on. The film did a good job of setting them up and allowing the plot to move straight away. It’s a very well made film that really had my attention the whole way through. Maybe it really was the food theme since that’s not something I’ve seen too many films use.

Overall 7/10

Appointment with Death Review

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It’s time for the next Poirot film. I’m always up for a good mystery so I was ready to see what is going on this time. The locations feel a bit reused though as part of it is on a boat and most of it is on the dessert. We’ve already covered both locations but it is fully a new story. The actual case is less interesting than the other mysteries but I would say there is still enough to make this a pretty good movie. There is little reason to watch it over the others but if you want more Poirot content then this is the way to go.

The film starts with Emily blackmailing her family’s attorney Jefferson. Jefferson has shown her that her dead husband had a new will where she was no longer the sole beneficiary. So she tells him to burn it or she will tell the world about the super shady things he did back in the day and he will be thrown in jail. Jefferson doesn’t want to pay for his crimes so he obeys and scatters off. Emily can now rule over all of the children as they have to at least pretend to be kind to her since she now controls all of the family’s vast wealth. They all go on holiday but wouldn’t you know it, Jefferson is there. Emily has to be careful because he might have some plans up his sleeve. Additionally, Poirot is around hoping to have a good time. That will be difficult though as murderous intent fills the air. Everyone wants to murder Emily but who will get to her first?

As always with these films you have a rather massive cast. There are a whole lot of suspects everywhere and the only tricky thing is that a lot of them look quite similar. Fortunately the characters are always using their names because otherwise I’d get mixed up quickly. Most of the characters are not all that likable though. They just let themselves get pushed around way too much. The film tries to give them some excuses for this like they just don’t know what to do because they’ve been used to being ultra rich but I just don’t really buy it. That’s just not good enough as far as excuses go.

One of the worst characters here has to be Nadine who is married but still has an affair with Jefferson the whole time. She basically does it right in front of her husband Lennox the whole time just to mess with him. Not really someone you want to have as an associate and Lennox should definitely try to split from her. In the meantime, I suppose it’s tough to tell if he should try to keep on beating up on Jefferson or just ignore them since there’s not much point in trying to fight for someone who has no interest in you.

Naturally Jefferson also looks really bad for this. The guy definitely has no respect and you know the relationship will be doomed. He will eventually get bored and the same thing will happen. How you get someone is how you lose them after all. The guy was already not looking good from the start when he decided to burn the will but this meant that he just kept on getting worse and worse as the film went on. The whole thing was just corrupt.

That is often a theme of the Poirot films though. Most if not all of the characters have a lot of personal issues and shortcomings going on. He will solve the case but can’t really solve the inter family dynamics. That’s just not really possible and by the time the film ends, most of the characters aren’t even punished for this. Life will go on and they all will just return to their normal lives. Some for the better and some for the worse. It can sometimes be a little anti climactic but that’s how it goes.

Poirot isn’t some kind of hero here. He only solves the case when he’s been hired to do so or it happens right in front of him. Otherwise he really tries to stay out of it and ignore everything shady that it going on. It’s just not really any of his business and that’s how he likes to keep it. He makes for an entertaining character either way though. If anything it’s part of what separates him from the other characters the whole time.

The writing is good either way although the film underestimates the audience a little too much. I thought there were way too many flashbacks to scenes that we had just watched. It felt like the movie added these in case you forgot the moments but it’s not like this is a 5 hour epic. That felt excessive like one lady saying how she never forgets anyone. The flashbacks showing new vantage points to old shots makes sense, like the kid running and our view of what actually happened. The others were not needed.

As always with these things I do have some parts that I have to stretch my disbelief for. Keep in mind that most of this is taking place in a wide open desert. It’s not a very loud environment and everything is out in the open. So when people are being murdered and such, you would usually expect someone to notice. In this case someone got all dressed up and made a move while nobody saw the whole thing. It’s not as egregious as the boat murder from a previous film but it’s definitely something that will have you shaking your head.

As for some of the other characters, you have Raymond who is pretty annoying the whole time. He likes Sarah but keeps getting stopped by his mother. Why doesn’t he just go talk to Sarah anyway? Well, he’s lacking in confidence and she even calls him out on this. It’s such a bad look and it makes it difficult for you to believe in the romance. What would she see in him at that point? None of the romances in this film are particularly convincing but I would say this has to be the weakest one of the lot. It’s all rather fast anyway even without that going on.

Sarah is mainly a solid character but gets a bit too defensive when Poirot is interrogating her. She seems to take offense to the fact that he is calling her a suspect but detective’s rule 101 is that everyone is a suspect. So why is Sarah so upset about all of this? I thought it was rather a poor look for her. Then you have Lady Westholme who is generally upset at everyone and tries to flaunt her power a whole lot. I appreciate the confidence but she would definitely be tiring to be around after a while. She constantly creates a scene so if you’re around then you’re going to be put on the spot by association.

There are a few other characters but that’s the bulk of them. So like I said, there is a going on here with a bunch of characters running around. At times the film gives the interactions more time than the actual mystery. You could almost say the mystery works more as a backdrop at times. That’s why the writing is very important and fortunately it was handled really well so it never gets boring or anything like that. The pacing is on point.

Overall, Appointment with Death goes through all of the motions but with a little less zeal than the other films. Even though the plot is quite intricate, I think it’ll end up being rather forgettable by the end. Still, it’s a pretty good movie even despite this. At the end of the day I tend to enjoy mysteries so even if this one was a little generic and didn’t try to break away from the others, it held my attention. I would say that generally speaking there aren’t a ton of big budget mystery films compared to other genres so you really want to enjoy the ones that you do get. You don’t know how long they’ll be around.

Overall 7/10

Baffled! Review

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Films that involve time travel tend to be the best but films that have some kind of look into the future can also be pretty solid. It’s an ability that can be useful but I imagine in most cases it will just be annoying. After all you generally don’t know how far into the future the visions are and depending on the circumstances, it can be difficult to prove what you know. It’s an ability that you definitely have to navigate carefully and this movie does a good job of keeping things interesting. It’s a bit of a slow burn but with solid enough writing to get you through.

The film starts by introducing us to Tom who is one of the world’s greatest racecar drivers. Unfortunately he crashes out during the race because he started to see some rather odd visions. A lady yelling out some kind of address, a mysterious house, and the ocean. It was all quite bizarre but he is ready to get back into the races. At least he was hoping to do that but a lady named Michelle shows up and it turns out that his visions weren’t just random hallucinations. Something is about to go down in that house/mansion and now he has a duty to help out. So the two decide to form an alliance and head there while pretending not to know each other.

At the mansion, a lady and her daughter have just arrived because her old husband has been writing her. For a long time he was rather cold and distant but over the last few months the letters have really changed. Perhaps they can finally be a family again. Oddly enough, he isn’t there when she arrives. Instead there is just the old lady in a wheelchair who assumes he’ll be coming home soon, an odd couple that may be into drug dealing, and a rather creepy lady who always has a lot of makeup on. It’s a rather colorful bunch you might say. Is this all some kind of elusive trap and can Tom save them all?

In part I would say this plays out as a mystery since Tom is trying to find clues in order to figure out the true meaning of his visions before they come to pass. In other ways it plays out like a classic horror flick with jump scares and all of these creepy characters running around. It’s unlikely you will be scared at any point though with the happy music playing in the background. I could definitely see this being a pretty fun show because the dynamic with the main two is solid enough to carry most of the interactions. Then you’d have different issues in each episode.

Tom’s ability is also just weak enough where it is perfect to keep things from being too easy. For example at one point he sees a leaf, then later on he sees the leaf is leaking, and finally it turns out that it is being poured into a cup so somebody is about to be poisoned. It takes him a while to figure this out and ultimately the knowledge isn’t really able to help much as it’s one mystery he couldn’t solve in time. I figure this will be the case in many instances because the visions are just too vague and not always actionable. Still, he’s ready for the main mystery but he needs a lot of plot armor for it.

For example, at one point he hears someone calling for help so he chases the voice all the way down to the coast where he ends up falling into the ocean and nearly dying. Considering that he had just told Michelle he would be careful, it was definitely not the best decision. He lets his guard down a whole lot considering that he knows something foul is going on here. At least he does show up for the final fight of the film. The battle is actually rather good with a lot of back and forth. I was not expecting a big battle there so that was really a surprise. Definitely an excellent way to end things off.

Meanwhile Michelle gets a lot of credit here because she was super helpful. For starters she is the one who was pro active enough to go after Tom early on and then she did a lot of info gathering during the movie. She felt like a side kick who was truly carrying her own weight and not just being there in awe the whole time. She would also give Tom tips on how to use his abilities which was helpful more than once. It’s another reason why the duo work well together, they each have a part to play and handle their roles well.

As for the characters in this case, I felt the two suspicious people who kept driving off to town were mainly pointless. The big reveal of what they were actually doing is a bit underwhelming. It is fun to see the suspects gradually be taken off the case of course but they definitely could have been a little more relevant. Even the butcher character got more to do than these guys. That guy was also ready to hit Tom over the head with a wine bottle and seriously injure him so even with any twists I can’t exactly call him a good guy.

The daughter is the worst character in the film as she falls for the tricks way too easily. Yes, you have some magical mumbo jumbo going on with the amulet but before even putting that on she was already being naive and meeting with strangers. I don’t care who the guy said he was, you don’t go off by yourself and you definitely run home as soon as anything suspicious happens. Most of the film wouldn’t happen if she wasn’t tricked so easily.

Her mother also looks rather bad the whole time. She lets things get out of control way too easily and doesn’t take things as seriously as she should. The daughter’s 180 personality change is so drastic that it should raise every red flag in the book. I wanted her to do something serious about it. Finally the climax was her worst look as one of the villains basically tells her to sign a document that she is giving away her daughter. Instead of jumping into a rage and hitting anything that moves, the mom just yells “nooooo” and stuff like that. I understand that this is a fight that she couldn’t win, but there is nothing to lose at this point. You try to fight and do your best.

So the characters don’t always make the best decisions here but I did think the film was engaging. It has a bit of an older charm to it as this feels like one of those old school shows. It balances out all of the tones pretty well but at its heart it’s a pretty fun film that knows when to throw in a few jokes without going overboard. It’s got perfect balance all the way through.

Overall, I can recommend this to just about anyone because it feels like the kind of film that can appeal to most groups. It’s got a little bit of everything here and has a satisfying ending. The cliffhanger definitely gets you ready for that hypothetical sequel. The fact that this would have been semi plot based with fighting the same group would have been really cool. Ultimately this will probably always be a more obscure film but it definitely had some real quality to back it up.

Overall 7/10

Angel Face Review

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It’s time for one of those films that has quite a few messy dynamics in it. The main character is certainly not someone that you can root for and in noir titles that is often the case. The real trick is to make the film enjoyable in spite of the protagonist being someone you are rooting against. Fortunately the film is able to pull this off and so that’s why I would say this is a good title. It has a lot of suspense and of course it never hurts to throw in a courtroom scene. I always enjoy seeing those.

The film starts off by introducing us to Frank who is a pretty good ambulance driver. He has bigger dreams but right now this is where he’s at. He has a girlfriend who works with him named Mary but Frank is still not satisfied and as always he heads out to get super drunk and throw a pity party. He happens to see a girl named Diane there who he previously met on a routine house call. Surely this is coincidence that she is at this bar now too right? She doesn’t even need to ask him to lie to his girlfriend because Frank does this right out of the gate. He is intrigued by this mysterious lady and is immediately ready to throw everything away for her. This may be more true than even he suspects as Frank is now thrown into an absolute whirlwind of scandal and controversy. He may live to regret his decision.

So there’s really no reason to feel bad for Frank here. He opened the door to have an affair with Diane right from the start. There was no reason to lie to Mary while he was at the diner and messing around. In fact, since he and Mary clearly had plans, he shouldn’t have been wasting away at the diner in the first place. He should have been getting ready to go home and have a good time with her. The fact that he didn’t shows just how much he took her for granted right from the start. Yeah I was definitely rooting against this guy from the start. Honestly even if it had been a much longer seduction I wouldn’t have had any sympathy for the guy but he really didn’t seem to have any respect for Mary.

Meanwhile Mary was a much better character. I was glad that she was able to see through Diane’s little deceptions and call her out right from the start. Now that was a good scene and Mary also made the right call in not chasing after Frank. Honestly if you find out that your boyfriend is basically getting ready to cheat or has already done so, then it’s just time to cut him out. Now Mary allowing Frank’s friend to be the rebound guy is a bit much though. It feels like this other guy was way too desperate to be with her the whole time. It doesn’t quite sit right with me as Mary is basically settling and this guy doesn’t mind being the second choice. It doesn’t exactly make either of them look all that good.

Finally with Diane, she makes for a reasonable antagonist. She’s clearly a character who is used to getting what she wants. When she doesn’t, heads begin to roll. There is really nothing that would be considered as going too far for her. She’s just going to keep on plunging ahead and it’s also why you don’t feel bad for her either. I wasn’t sympathetic to nearly any character in this film because they all looked bad in one way or the other. I would say my favorite character was her attorney in the end as he was the only one not letting things get personal and he was just ready to cash in his check. Yeah none of those Noir scandals for this guy.

The ending to the film is definitely satisfying after everything that happened. As always Frank looks like an absolute chump but it makes sense. He’s really not ready for what’s going on and I don’t think that he ever will be. This guy lets his guard down constantly and that’s why he’s always getting himself into traps. Then of course we had the long courtroom scene which was really good. It was fun seeing the case being laid out and both sides trying to corner the other. It’s why I always tend to enjoy court scenes in any movie. They’re just well written and this one was no exception. Due in part to the film’s short run time there is also not a whole lot of downtime here. Something’s always happening and you’re never bored.

I guess at most you are typically waiting for the romance scenes to end since you are rooting against it anyway. You know that the whole thing isn’t very organic and can’t possibly end in a positive way. So you’re waiting for the next big event to happen to the characters and the story really doesn’t disappoint you there. Typically I am always an advocate for a film being as long as possible and I still standby the fact that any good film will be even better if it’s longer but I can always appreciate a short title as well. This one had solid pacing throughout so the length worked out well.

Overall, Angel Face is a pretty fun movie. It’s got a good story to it that keeps your attention the whole time and a climax that is quite fitting for the characters. Now you may be wondering how a film filled with so many tragic events could be fun but it’s because you need to think of every character as an antagonist. Then it all works really well. If anything I’d have been upset if the characters escaped this with an outright happy ending because it would not have felt deserved at all. This was the only ending that really fit for such a film and I can definitely recommend this one to anyone looking for a quick title to check out. The runtime is not very long after all.

Overall 7/10

The Mark of Zorro (1974) Review

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It’s time for another Zorro film, the masked hero gets to ride once again! In this case I’m moving backwards a little bit here as I’m used to the newer version. This one still manages to hit all of the right notes though. It’s a pretty fun film overall and while I would not call it the definitive Zorro film, I didn’t really have any big issues with it either. I would say it accomplishes the goals that it set out to do and ultimately makes for a movie that I could basically recommend to anyone. The short run time also means that it always has a very fast pace going on.

The film starts off with Zorro leaving the swordsman academy because he has been receiving some distressing letters about his home. So he heads off to see what’s going on, although I’m not sure exactly who sent those letters or what they were really about. When he gets there, he’s shocked to hear about what people are saying about his father and seems to have no clue on the current state of affairs. So I was a little puzzled by this but either way at least it got him to go on the move. When he sees how the whole area is being overrun by powerfully corrupt officials, he decides to put a stop to this. When in costume as Zorro, he punishes the bullies and shows the weak that they have a chance. When in his human form, he sows discord among the villains and plays up his wimpy personality. It’s the ultimate dual identity.

I always like to see Zorro in his human form because he does a really good job of making sure that absolutely nobody likes him. Well, I suppose the exception would be Quintero’s wife but everyone else finds him just utterly repulsive. The villains don’t take him seriously and his father is supremely disappointed. It definitely goes a long way to showing just how good his acting skills are. It also can’t be easy for Zorro to purposefully be looking this bad but he does this for the long game.

Ultimately his plan is super successful. I’d even go so far as to say it runs so smoothly that you are waiting for something bad to happen. I suppose the priest Zorro was hiding the money with gets beaten up but otherwise the plan pretty much goes without a hitch. Zorro also dispatches the fighter Esteban with relative ease in this one. The guy may have been a fighter but he was definitely not in Zorro’s league. Zorro taking on an entire army and winning with these guerilla tactics is definitely impressive. The movie really gets the tone right for this kind of classic adventure so it’s easy to have a lot of fun with the whole thing. You understand the high stakes from the start but the movie is mostly concerned with having a lot of fun.

A great number of the scenes in this film have something ready to give you a smile after all. The writing is also really good. The script is on point with all of the fun dialogue and veiled threats. It’s the kind of writing that can be hard to match in a future title for the most part but Zorro has really proven to be pretty much timeless so far. His films just do a good job of adapting to the era, or in this case it didn’t even need to adapt as the same story still works pretty well.

I will say Zorro’s father also looks really good here. He may be older but he still jumps in to help his fellow people when things get dire. You understand his disdain for his son since that is the whole point of the ruse. If there was no twist, then of course he would be right to be upset. In the final fights we even see the father take down a few of the enemies so the guy has still got it.

As for the heroine Teresa, I don’t think she gets quite as much to do as in the other films but she still does defend Zorro at the dinner table. That always takes a certain amount of guts and showing up at the end to recruit the heroes was good. She’s at least a good character even though she was always around the main villains. Her mother is not nearly as good though as she’s actively trying to cheat on her husband with whichever guy is around. Definitely not the real loyal type, I can safely say that.

The romance in the film can definitely be a bit on the rushed side though. I don’t think the movie really had any time for that considering that the main plot already needed a good amount of the runtime to cook so if I was the writer I would have cut that out entirely. I suppose with this being planned to turn into a show then you would have had more time but then you could have used those episodes to really build up the plot. At least it’s not like it’s that bad, it just feels out of place since Zorro needs to focus on saving everybody and overthrowing the dictators. That has to be his only real concern. The ending definitely goes in fast to the point where I was thinking the recording was about to cut off but this way you can really say that Zorro was fighting right up to the end.

Overall, The Mark of Zorro is a pretty fun film. It really does fly on by but it never drags on at any point. You are guaranteed to be having a ton of fun throughout and at the end of the day that’s the important thing. I would say he is significantly more interesting than all of his rivals like the Green Hornet for now. Of course all it takes is a really solid film to change that but it’s not as easy as Zorro makes it look. When you try too hard to make a film funny it can backfire and just make you roll your eyes. So you have to handle it carefully and this is easily one of the big titles I would use to show people how to make an effective action/comedy title. Regardless this is a film that I can easily recommend to anyone looking for a fun adventure.

Overall 7/10

Escape from New York Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This is one of those films that everybody has heard of at some point. It’s a pretty well known thriller from back in the day and having New York as the main setting is always a pretty good idea. I like the idea of the story and this is probably a better way to do the prison break kind of plot than with a standard one. They could have done a little more with the concept but you’ll still have a good time here.

Basically in the future crime has gotten so bad that the world needs more space for the prisons so Manhattan was sacrificed. The entire borough is now used to house all of the criminals. It’s an open air prison without any kind of supervision or police control. The crooks are basically left to their own devices to rule or be ruled. Unfortunately, the government gets sloppy and the president’s plane goes down so he ends up crashing within the city. If he isn’t recovered in less than 24 hours, nuclear weapons will be automatically activated and the world will be doomed. This forces them to send in a guy who used to be a military hero but tuned for some reason appears to be a big criminal now. You can probably guess that there is more to this than meets the eye but he is convinced to help in exchange for a complete pardon. Can he really save the president?

The mission is stacked against Snake (The lead) in a lot of different ways. For starters the government injected him with mini bombs so if he doesn’t save the president within the time frame then he will die. Additionally, chances are very good that the president is already dead with how ruthless the place already is. The odds that he is still okay are super slim but the government won’t care and will still blow Snake up. Snake is also massively outnumbered and will have to be dealing with some really crazy odds. This is also territory that the villains are super familiar with since they’ve had to live here for many years. The situation just keeps getting worse and worse.

Still, Snake couldn’t exactly turn down the job opportunity since he was told in no uncertain terms that he would be obliterated if he said no. This is a government that sanctioned a complete borough prison after all, you can tell that they are not bluffing by any means. Snake makes for a solid lead either way. He’s clearly experiences and knows what he is doing out there. A lesser character would have been absolutely crushed early on by everything happening but he just stays on mission even as characters are blown away right in front of him. He has to put up with a whole lot and you can bet there is basically no gratitude in the end.

As for New York City itself, it really looks like a dystopian backdrop here. There is almost no power since the criminals had to try and work some greenhouse supplies to their benefit with very limited results. Any reasonable person was likely axed off years ago so you’ve only got the crazies at this point. Everyone is extremely insane but at least some are crazy in a helpful way like the cab driver. I would say he was my favorite character from the city dwellers.

He talks about things very nonchalantly but is clearly prepared like when he had the bottles ready to light on fire. He’s been around the block many times and has seen a lot of things. He is clearly scared all of the time but at least he knows a lot of people and how to get around. Even the Duke would probably have a hard time stopping him. The Duke is the head honcho of the whole operation and really calls the shots here. In any situation there will always be one figure who rises to the top amidst the chaos and in this case he was the guy. He doesn’t get to appear quite as much as you would expect though. He’s mentioned a whole lot but it’s really not until the end that he actually shows up. I’d say he live up to the hype reasonably well. You can tell that he’s a real tough character but introducing him early on could have been fun.

This film is definitely more of a thriller than a full action movie either way. Don’t expect a lot of big explosive fight scenes the whole time. Snake can clearly fight and does knock a lot of people out but for the most part this is a stealth mission. He’s got to find the president and so a lot of screentime is really in exploring the city and talking to people to gather intel. I could see this being a really fun video game with how you would explore like that. The desolate ruins of Manhattan with criminals around every corner would really be tense.

The film can be violent at times but not quite as drastic as I would have expected. The film has a fairly dark atmosphere and keeps the tension going but does so without having everything be on screen. You know the situation sucks for everybody within the prison and the film doesn’t have to beat you over the head with the implications of this. You’re curious just what life looks like on the outside but the focus is really on the jail itself which makes sense. Either way there is a ton of corruption as always.

Overall, Escape from New York is just a really interesting film and works well. You’ll be at the edge of your seat the whole time. When I say the film could have done a bit more though, it’s really that the concept of turning a whole city into a prison sounds really interesting to me. I’d like to see a bit more about how it works and that’s where having the Duke show up earlier could help. You’d have to treat the subject carefully but yeah there is a lot of potential there. Here you are really getting a glimpse of the whole thing I’d say. Like Snake you’re really just thrown in there and that does amp up the tension so in that way the decision did make sense.

Overall 7/10

The Amazing Dr. Clitterhouse Review

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It’s time for a film about how crime does pay sometimes. You’ve definitely got an interesting premise here and the film has a lot of fun with itself. It’s never taken too seriously which works out pretty well for the tone. If it was too serious then the ending would definitely be real messy to put it mildly. As it sands, it makes for a fun story.

The adventure starts with Clitterhouse robbing more places. This guy may be a very well respected doctor but it’s just not enough for him. He wants to really understand criminals on a deeper level and so he measures his own heartrate and takes blood before and after each crime. Clitterhouse gets even more greedy though and decides to join an entire gang. He quickly takes down Jo and the big Rocks gang. He impresses them so much that they let him join and they even start to respect him as the leader. Their actual leader Rocks doesn’t take too kindly to this but at the end of the day what can he really do about it? Well…he’s a crook so there is a whole lot he can do about it. Clitterhouse better watch himself.

Clitterhouse’s best strength is how good he is at talking. He can always spin things in a way where it sounds most agreeable and the other characters really don’t know how to handle him. He is always a few steps ahead and that really puts him in the catbird seat here. He boldly walks up to the police to chat even while he has a bunch of diamonds. His assistant is constantly shocked at just how bold the guy can be. In a way you could also say it’s all a big bluff as half the time he isn’t really intending to do some of these things and then he just has to keep his cool. Like leaving the bag by the desk in the police station and things like that. At the very least I don’t think that was intentional.

Cliterhouse is a professional though so it takes a whole lot to really get to him. He was certainly nervous near the end but ultimately didn’t really show it and still got the best of rocks. I’d say he was most terrified at the court trial and not really for his own life. This guy was definitely a real character that’s for sure. At the end of the day he stole a lot and is definitely a criminal though. Even if it was all to write a book, I would argue that doesn’t really excuse all of the theft. So I was rooting for the cops here even if they did seem doomed the whole time. They were always one step behind.

It did make for a fun scene when they were all yelling at each other though. That was definitely some pretty good stuff. Meanwhile Rocks made for a decent main villain. He’s definitely not the smartest guy around and yet he does have some good plans on occasion. For example he did a good job of tracking down where Clitterhouse lived and getting the drop on him. Even the doctor did not expect that to happen so that was a big W on the villain’s part. Rocks may have been outshined by Clitterhouse for a while there but he was the leader beforehand so I was glad that the film didn’t suddenly make him inept or anything like that. That would have been a real stretch.

Butch was a real loyal member of the gang. He seems to mean well as far as the villains are concerned and he helped out quite a bit. You don’t forget it when a character shows up when it counts. From all of the villains he was the most likable one. Jo meanwhile is a solid villain but does not always play things very smart. Running over to Clitterhouse’s place without a plan was really not a good idea. She almost just made things worse for all of them. You always gotta have a plan when you have ties to the local mob.

As you can expect with an old title like this, the writing is definitely solid. The script is always real good and that helps turn what would otherwise be a very quiet and down to Earth movie into one that is super entertaining the whole time around. It’s hard to picture them being able to effectively remake this film nowadays as a result. You’d probably either see them trying to throw in a lot of explosions (Which in fairness could be cool) or the humor wouldn’t work as well. This kind of story all comes down to the execution after all. I’d also say it is a perfect example of how the comedy genre can step in and really provide a good assist from time to time. If you take the humor away from the film and make it super serious, it could still work but I don’t think it would be nearly as engaging. Also like I mentioned the ending would probably be far less satisfying.

Overall, this was a pretty fun film. These retro titles always have a whole lot of charm to them. The witty dialogue works real well so the humor is very effective while being low key the whole time. The pacing is good and the character cast is small so they each get a good amount of screen time and development. I don’t really have any issues with this film. It was a solid all around experience without any real downsides. If you like a solid film involving a bunch of mind games then this will definitely be a title that you do not want to miss out on.

Overall 7/10

Run Silent, Run Deep Review

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This is a film about how obsession over revenge actually can work out pretty well. In a way the film’s overall message is quite a bit different than you’d expect since you’d figure that the mission would really fail to show that this wasn’t the way to go. It’s a pretty solid movie all in all with strong writing to keep you engaged.

The movie starts with Jim being celebrated by the crew and looking forward to many adventures as their captain. Unfortunately the celebration has barely concluded when he is told by exec that his ship is being given over to a guy named Richardson. Richardson’s own ship had been sunk about a year ago in the Bungo Straits where the Japanese have been successfully dominating every match. The U.S. has clear orders to avoid that area now but Richardson doesn’t care. He’s going to avenge his crew whatever it takes. Jim is certainly not pleased with how the lives of his crew are now being risked, but what can he do about it?

This film is fairly old school so everyone goes by the book and tries not to rock the boat much. That can be a bit annoying as Jim sees Richardson breaking the rules left and right but doesn’t really do anything about it. He sees the chain of command as not being something to jump over. So for example, when he notices Richardson going for the Bungo Straits, Jim will confront him about it privately. When the men on the ship ask about this, he just tells them to mind their business and keep it moving.

Jim’s doing his best to make sure the ship doesn’t devolve into chaos and that nothing crazy happens but I would say it happens at a rather huge cost. I don’t think keeping the men in the dark is the right answer. Jim’s almost compensating too hard to really show that he’s not going to try and take the ship back by force. It takes Richardson being really sick for Jim to really do anything.

Like I said in the intro though, Richardson’s plan actually works out fairly well. Yes, the heroes do take some big shots and have casualties. They almost could have all been destroyed but at the end of the day they stopped the Japanese threat that was sinking many shots. Richardson’s crew was able to pull off the bow shot when it counted despite this usually being a last resort technique. So you could say that Jim really trained them well.

I still think Jim should have been straight with the crew though. As for Richardson, he was also hiding things a whole lot. The fact that he refused to fight the first Japanese sub and let them get away just so he could go through with his mission was also pretty rough. Ultimately it works out pretty well but you never know if that one sub you avoided could go on to murder a bunch of people. It’s a high stakes bet with other people’s lives.

Ultimately Richardson’s story ends in a way you would expect because otherwise with the amount of rules he broke, things probably wouldn’t go great there. Results aren’t often enough to make up for the fact that you’ve broken orders, particularly in the army and the navy where these things are put as a premium. If you break them then the whole system starts to fall apart after all.

So there’s a good amount of tension here and the film does go into great detail about what a submarine fight is like. We see how you have to maneuver each torpedo and set the coordinates before firing. The precise angle to lower the ship while firing to do the bow shot, etc. Fans of submarine processes will get a particular kick out of it. It’s perhaps a bit more detail than I really needed but I wouldn’t say it ever drags the film on too long or anything like that.

The writing is always really good as you would expect for an old time film like this. The characters all talk like professionals and the dialogue exchanges are always really good. While we only have two main characters, there are still a number of sailors who get dialogue and show up from time to time. They help to move the plot around even without being individually important to what’s going on. It helps to make the submarine feel alive with the world building.

I also like that the Japanese aren’t just sitting around waiting to get blown up. We see them trying mental warfare tactics midway through the film where they deliver a message in English to taunt the main characters with how many ships have been sunk and also calling out their names to show that they know a lot. They have been doing well in the Bungo Straits after all so it makes sense that they wouldn’t just be taken out so easily.

If there is any plot armor or convenience here, it’s that I have a tough time believing so many people survived the initial explosion in the first scene. When Richardson’s ship is blown up, we see a number of people on rafts hanging on. We can assume a lot of them died later on from shock and injury since Richardson keeps referring to his crew as dead and it sounds like all of them didn’t make it except for him. Still doesn’t really answer how they survived an exploding ship in the water though, that just seems incredibly unlikely especially while the enemy ships were still around and this was in the middle of the Bungo Strait.

Overall, Run Silent, Run Deep is a pretty good movie. The story itself is fairly straight forward and as the movie is pretty short. The pacing is on point though and it keeps your attention the whole way. Being on a ship/submarine can make for a pretty good background. There isn’t a lot of scenery but it also helps to keep the tension up since there is really no escape. When an enemy ship shows up you generally have to fight and if you lose then you lose your life. So the stakes are definitely pretty high there unless you are half sub and can just run away but then the whole crew gives you heat for that. It’s all about the army politics and that’s always fun.

Overall 7/10

The In Laws Review

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It’s time for a film about just how crazy a wedding can get. You don’t really know what the other family is going to be like after all and you just have to fear for the worse. This film’s pretty good, I do think it drags on just a bit as it goes on with Shelly taking way too long to get with the program but it still does have a good amount of gags and I like the general premise. Ultimately it’s enough for me to give this one a thumbs up.

The movie starts off with Shelly getting ready to finally meet the father of his daughter’s fiancé. This guy has been particularly elusive for quite a while now to the point where the wedding is going to be in just a few days. Shelly isn’t worried until his dentist patient confirms that this is a really big deal. If the father is no good then the son might be a mess as well. Sure enough, Vince is a mess who seems to be a chronic liar and now Shelly wants the marriage to be called off. Unfortunately he is quickly pulled into a giant CIA conspiracy and now he is wanted for stealing millions of dollars. Can Shelly escape this plight and protect his daughter’s future or is this an elaborate way to get him out of the picture?

Again this is a comedy so you shouldn’t take the plot too seriously. All the CIA stuff is handled overly dramatic of course and the film doesn’t mind going completely bonkers with everyone being extremely expressive. Shelly is the biggest example of that as most of his dialogue is yelling and panicking. The guy does not know how to be subtle at all so even in a crowded cafe he’ll be yelling about CIA secrets. The guy was definitely not built for this kind of mission and Vince probably should have left him out of it. I get the feeling he would have had an easier time grabbing the briefcase and ducking off on his own. That’s how much Shelly tends to hold him back.

I can definitely understand why Shelly thought the whole marriage was probably a bad idea after meeting this guy. He doesn’t exactly overwhelm you with confidence after all. I may not care for Shelly much as a character as the “normal” guy panicking about the weird one the whole time usually gets old fast, but he still had some valid points here. Ultimately he just should have stayed focused on his business and none of this would have happened to him. Of course it wouldn’t be much of a film in that case. Shelly’s best moment was definitely when Vince accused him of not being able to understand what was happening and Shelly made a speech about how he shouldn’t underestimate the average guy down the block. That was a pretty good defense.

Vince has been around the block many times and has his moments where he seems to be good at being an agent but then on the other hand he has tons of moments where you feel like he has just gotten really lucky the whole time. Vince doesn’t really panic but at the same time he’s almost constantly on the run. Yes he’s a great shot but that doesn’t help when he’s heavily outnumbered. Even to the very end of the film he only survives on absolute luck which is definitely not the best look for the guy.

The banter with Shelly and Vince can be fun. I actually even prefer that to the fight scenes themselves since those of course aren’t always being taken super seriously anyway. At least for the arguments you see where both of the characters are coming from. A title like this needs a lot of banter in order to succeed after all and I would say it works out pretty well. I also liked the CIA correspondent who shows up twice to talk about how crazy Vince is.

This works as a solid mystery because Vince has been so unbalanced throughout the film that you can’t entirely rule out the possibility that he has been leading Shelly on the whole time. Perhaps he really was kicked out of the CIA and has gone rogue to steal millions of dollars. For all Shelly knows, he is really getting himself into trouble now. Of course he ultimately isn’t able to get out once he’s so deep in anyway so it’s all a moot point. Now he just has to try and stay alive which isn’t easy as a normal citizen with no combat oriented background.

What I would do to keep the momentum up in the second half would be to probably remove the entire climax of the main characters getting captured and the near shootout. Instead switch that to Shelly finally taking the reigns. Have him take the money over to the dentist’s office and make a play like he’s going rogue. You could have Vince finally be lost as to what’s going on and then it turns out this was just a way to smoke the villains out from hiding. This way you give Shelly some kind of a big win outside of really just being along for the ride and helping out in small ways. I think that would give him more agency and could have made the ending a bit more fun. I definitely don’t buy the two of them being friends by the end the way this film ended. There were just too many instances where Shelly really could have died and Vince isn’t exactly apologetic so there isn’t much reason for them to get along. If anything, keeping it a bit antagonistic would have opened the door for some sequels with the characters pretending to be nice while the kids were there before going back to their normal selves.

Overall, The In Laws is a fun enough film. I do think they could have had a little more fun with the concept though. Instead of this all being one mission, a montage early on of Vince giving crazier and crazier reasons for why he has to cancel on appointments would have worked really well. Then you set up the main story. I also think you could probably rope the kids in a bit too by having them start to fight about some of this stuff. Even though their upcoming wedding is the main plot point, they don’t actually get to appear much at all. Their screen time is surprisingly small. Either way, this film is a good one to check out if you want some light hearted fun. It should keep your attention well enough the whole time and at the end of the day that’s the important thing.

Overall 7/10

Cover Up Review

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It’s time for a film about an insurance guy and that’s pretty fun because it’s super rare to see one in the spotlight. Yeah that made for a good story. This guy always knows when something isn’t right and makes a move on that. The sheriff dares him to try that in a small town but what he doesn’t realize is that our hero grew up in a small town so he’s really ready for anything.

The movie starts off with the suicide of a guy named Phillips. Sam has to go to the town for a routine check to confirm that the guy is dead and all. It’s supposed to be a very routine thing but when he gets to town the sheriff isn’t particularly helpful. There is no morgue report, the gun has vanished, there are no bullets, and they don’t want to even let Sam see the body. Is Phillips even dead? Sam’s going to have to go into this mystery even if it means going up against the entire town. Does he really have what it takes?

Well, the good news is that Sam’s a tough character who isn’t going to back down just because of a little intimidation here. He gets into it with Sheriff Larry on several occasions and just keeps on coming back for more. Larry is really determined to keep Sam on a short leash but this main character is not so easily deterred. No, he’s just getting started. The more Sam looks into this though, the more the suspects begin to rise. Everyone in town despised Phillips, he was unanimously agreed to be an awful person and they all agree that the town would be better off without him.

Frank is the fierce suspect here because he was going out with Phillip’s niece and the guy didn’t really seem to like the idea. Then you have Stu who just so happens to own the same kind of gun that was used to potentially destroy Phillips, once Sam managed to get Larry to show him the bullets. Stu’s daughter Anita is distraught about this and so she quickly begins to try and hide evidence from Sam as well. Then there’s the doctor but as Sam gets close there, the doctor quickly has a heart attack and dies. Most inconvenient, that’s for sure.

The weak point of the film is definitely the romance though. During this case Sam falls for Anita and in the background of a possible murder conspiracy this just doesn’t feel like the right time. Additionally, it’s hard to see how it could possibly end well once she starts hiding the facts and working against Sam. She basically says if Sam continues to do his job then they will be enemies and she really gets to work on burning the bridge during Christmas. Things work out for her so then she’s happy again but it’s just way too late by then. The fact that she was blaming Sam for just doing his job was rough.

Especially since Sam could have easily never found out the truth. He was giving his best effort which is his job, why should he be given such a hard time abut that? It just made no real sense and even less sense that they would get back together after that. Sam is definitely the most likable character here. I really appreciated that he never gave up. It’s really not easy when everyone is rooting for you to fail after all. Sam stuck to it and the company knows they have an asset in him. He may not have finished the job in the end once he learns the context but he made sure that he would know the truth before he left.

Larry makes for a solid main antagonist here but the guy can definitely be rather annoying. If he had played ball at all a bit sooner then everything would be easier for Sam. Of course, that wasn’t in Larry’s interests which is why he was getting in Sam’s way every step of the process. The banter between the characters is pretty great I have to say. Larry even goes as far as to talk slow and bring up dead topics like his cigars over and over to just be purposefully obtuse. The biggest issue is that Larry’s actually really smart so he is pretty good at dodging the questions over and over just to make things tough on Sam.

It all goes back to vigilante justice here. When you’ve got someone terrorizing a town but no legal means with which to stop him, then naturally the people are going to get more and more desperate and something is going to eventually happen. That’s just a foregone conclusion no matter how much the characters may not like it. Technically I don’t even think all of the characters knew what happened here. Some of the most influential ones did of course but even for a small town I don’t think the word totally spread to the rest of the populace.

The film also takes place around Christmas time which is pretty fun. You get to see the characters all hanging out and getting ready for happy days only to have this big controversy show up. One of the best characters was the maid/housekeeper who really liked showing off how much knowledge she had. She didn’t care what was going on, she would blurt out answers when she felt like it. It made one of her scenes in particular work really well to show that she still had one concern above even that. She was willing to put herself in jeopardy to help someone as well. Pretty much everyone in the town was super loyal and as Sam said before, they all tend to be pretty good people.

Overall, Cover Up is a pretty good film. It definitely had my attention the whole time. You’re really not sure what happened along with Sam and the film gives you just enough twists and turns where you even have to acknowledge that perhaps it really was a suicide. You just don’t really know for sure until the end and there are a good amount of suspects. Each alibi tends to be rather weak so you have to go with your gut at that point. I think the one character everyone would assume it was not would be the sheriff since that would just be way too obvious. The super obvious answer is rarely the right one after all.

Overall 7/10