Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

The Evil Eye Review

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The Evil Eye is one of those films that is going for the title for style points as opposed to it being really tied to the narrative. It’s a pretty interesting noir title and one that isn’t afraid to get rather absurd at some points as well. The strangeness of the whole film is part of the appeal and it works pretty well. I wouldn’t call it one of the strongest titles in the genre but I had a good time.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Nora who has arrived in Italy to take care of her aunt. Unfortunately her aunt dies almost immediately but not before Nora gets to meet Doctor Marcello and flirt with him a bit. Nora heads outside to let the doctor know about her aunt but ends up getting robbed and knocked out during the fight. When Nora wakes up she sees someone getting murdered and quickly faints again. By the time she wakes up the cops think that she fainted due to having too much to drink. For some reason she smells strongly of alcohol. Marcello frees Nora but doesn’t seem to totally believe her. There is only one possible explanation…Nora is a psychic who can see murders from 10 years in the past! Will she be able to stay alive in the present?

There’s a whole conspiracy going on with the alphabet killer who hasn’t murdered anyone in 10 years and yet Nora might be the next target. While Nora is in a packed area, people tend to vanish when she needs them the most and she is also a bit of a mystery. She flirts with Marcello a whole lot but at the same time doesn’t seem to want to progress their relationship and usually just leaves him frustrated at the door while she goes off to take a nap. The whole romance ends up being rather weak as a result. It leads to Marcello deciding to make his bold move and press the point which could have easily led him straight to jail if Nora wasn’t so accommodating.

I always think that’s going rather far. If Nora doesn’t want to do anything then they have to talk about it, you don’t just make the big move and hope for the best. That’s not how these thing go. Marcello also just seems a bit annoying in general. How are you going to go after the niece of the lady you were watching over on her death bed just like that? You’d figure there would at least be a long mourning period first or something like that. There’s also no real time for this when a murderer is on the loose.

I do tend to enjoy all of the random fake outs and jump scares here though. It feels like people are always sneaking up on Nora. Then you have random flirts running after her and you always know if this person is a fake or not based on how Nora reacts. If she is super scared and backing up then it’s the real deal but if she charges forward and knocks him out then it’s a fake. It almost feels rigged because every time she musters up the courage to do something, it ends up being for nothing.

Nora can also be a bit oblivious at times like with the one guy who is really handsy with her at the diner. Marcello’s also too timid and just plays passive aggressive the whole time instead of telling the guy to knock it off. You have to have the dignity to tell these people off and I also have to give Nora a hard time about this. The whole scene just makes you roll your eyes there.

As for the climax, it’s a bit more low key than I would have thought. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting but I suppose more of a big fight or some kind of fakeout with how odd the rest of the film could be. Instead it’s played rather straight with a twist thrown in there. I do think it would be reasonably difficult to guess who the culprit is though so the film did good there. The cast is small but at the same time the movie still covers its tracks pretty well.

I think the best out of the random segments is when the main heroine wakes up in the hospital and everyone is talking over her as if she is some kind of medical experiment. It’s playing out in such a way where you figure she is dreaming but then the main doctor walks in so she calls for him. Suddenly they’re out on a date in the very next instant so we know that this actually happened. There are a few moments like this where you figure it has to be a dream and instead what happens is this actually played out exactly how it looked. It certainly takes you for a loop but in a fun way.

The film’s music even gets randomly happy at times. Nora will be spooked and someone will have just died and suddenly we have happy music playing in the background. Or she’s getting close to a clue and suddenly she’s at the beach having fun. This film actively avoids using transitions which is why the changes are so sudden. It works well though and shows that the film has a whole lot of range at its disposal and isn’t afraid to switch things up.

Overall, The Evil Eye’s random moments help to give it a bit of an edge in terms of how well you will remember it. At the same time, it feels like this is also done in part because the movie knows that the mystery itself won’t be enough to have this film make it into the big leagues. I’d recommend checking it out but it’s probably not a movie that you will need to check out a second time. One adventure here will be enough.

Overall 6/10

Escape Room: Tournament of Champions Review

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Escape Room 2 immediately makes me think of the second Maze Runner film. Sure the heroes may have survived the room the first time but can they do it a second time? The film does a pretty good job of bringing back the fun elements from the first film and I dare say that it even surpasses the original. There are a lot of great fakeouts here and the stakes definitely go even higher. My only complaint is that some of the characters don’t actually feel like champions.

The basic plot is that Zoey wants to crush the evil organization in charge of the escape rooms once and for all. Ben doesn’t think that this is a good idea but there’s no way he can say no to her so they head on over to NYC. Unfortunately they are mugged almost immediately which leads them to a train. Now if anyone knows the MTA, they know this was a lethal mistake. It’s not sick passengers or train delays that will get the best of them though, the whole car is instead being overloaded with electricity. The other passengers seem upset but not as panicked as they should be. Why? This isn’t their first rodeo! Each character here has won the Escape Room challenge in the past so this time the battle is between champions. Who will win the right to their continued existence this time?

I love the concept of this of course. This time you’re fighting with the cream of the crop and no scrubs allowed. Most of the puzzles are team based challenges so it’s not so much about being left behind but making any mistakes will cost you everything. So everyone should be very strategic since it’s unlikely that someone who was carried the whole time would win. The problem is…in this movie at least two of the characters don’t seem all that smart. So lets talk about the cast real quick.

Of course we know Zoey and Ben from the first film so there’s not much to say about them. They have both proven themselves a lot in the first movie and continue to look good here. I would say Zoey is absolutely smarter than Ben but he can still hold his own and they make for a good team. I wouldn’t say I love their characters or anything but they hold the film rather well. The pressure is more on the newcomers.

First up is Theo who panics a lot right from the jump. He doesn’t want to die here and talks about how unfair the whole thing is but he dies real fast. Now the way he died was a bit unavoidable so I don’t blame him there but he was just way too reckless the whole time. It’s hard to see how he survived the first time when he’s this emotional. You have to keep a cool head at least for a while. Like Zoey has a moment where she panics and grabs a door which activates a trap. That was a huge L but she has the rest of the film as evidence for how she is usually rather smart. (Although the scene did have me convinced that Zoey was a traitor for the rest of the film.)

Theo just didn’t add much. Then we have Brianna who also doesn’t seem ready for this. She doesn’t come up with almost any ideas during the adventure and seems to not have a real plan. She mainly follows the others and does her best there. Brianna’s not bad but again she doesn’t really feel like a champion which is the problem there. She’s not going to be saving anyone.

Nathan is someone who actually does feel like a champion though. He’s confident in his own plans and makes moves as needed. He has his big main character moment where he plunges ahead to solve the puzzle instead of listening to anyone. I actually appreciated that move a lot because it is definitely something that the main character would do if this was his film. He may have been wrong on the conclusion but most of his plan was really solid. He was also ready to jump in and save Rachel when she was in trouble and did so without hesitation. He’s probably the best character in the film I have to say.

Finally there’s Rachel who also has a commanding presence and did well. She has the ability to not feel pain which is pretty cool although in a lot of ways it’s very scary. Not being able to feel what’s happening to you can be a real nightmare depending on the circumstance and she seems to have had a dark past with the first set of Escape Room challenges. She does well in all of the challenges and proves herself as a strong competitor.

So out of the full cast only half of the new fighters live up to the hype. I put that on the film since they just needed to make the challenges a bit harder to show off everyone’s intellect before bumping them off. Kudos for not making anyone too unlikable though. In these films I think it’s important to have the main characters be teaming up instead of fighting with themselves. The puzzles are hard enough without having everyone be duking it out.

Now where the film really shines is the ending. It’s really brilliant all the way with how it ties into the beginning. I didn’t really pick up on any of the clues the first time around which is where I was really impressed. I didn’t read in between the lines and this is probably one of the first times where I didn’t suspect something right away. As the ending starts to play out you do connect the dots but even then, I didn’t to that extent. It’s all really cool and perfectly executed. Sort of like an ending out of Halloween or something but 100X cooler. I’d almost recommend watching the film just for the ending.

In general the whole movie is pretty well balanced though. There are a lot of fun challenges and different backdrops for each of the activities. This makes for a lot of variety and really keeps you on your toes the whole time. Some of the puzzles I do think are a bit much in terms of finding the solution. Like even while the characters are figuring it out you are super skeptical because it doesn’t really make sense. Some of it makes sense to be sure but most of it? Ehhhhhhhh I dunno. It’s Batman’66 levels of logic where he comes to the right answer and in a way it makes sense but it’s such a leap in logic that you’re not really sure how to feel about that.

I still liked all of the concepts and of course there was a NYC level in the game with some acid rain that was really intense. That had to be one of the more painful levels to be sure. Even if you played it perfectly you could expect to be hit by some acid drops. The film mainly avoids things getting too violent though. Some characters get burns and such but it’s actually rather tame. Nothing like the cube movie from a while back where everyone was really getting destroyed. This one lets you just enjoy all of the battles even with the life and death stakes.

Overall, I definitely enjoyed this one. I would recommend checking it out for any fans of thrillers out there. It did a great job of following up on the first one and I liked how strong the continuity was. We got actual flashbacks to the first film and everything. Every scene ends up being important by the end so it really wraps everything up well. I definitely recommend watching this film when you have a chance. It’s definitely a unique title that you won’t be forgetting!

Overall 7/10

The Gunfighter Review

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It’s time for a film with a pretty direct name. When you hear the words: “The Gunfighter” you know what’s going to happen right off the bat. This guy’s about to take names and the villains better start hiding. It’s a pretty fun film although I didn’t really care for the ending. I definitely would have fixed that part up a little.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Ringo who is the world’s greatest gunman. He can shoot just about anyone at any range and his speed is so great that nobody can ever beat him to the punch. This is what we call true talent over in the west! Well, he ends up destroying someone in self defense and then heads back to his old town. He wants to meet up with his wife Peggy but Sheriff Mark says she doesn’t want to see him. Ringo doesn’t like this and intends to stay until he can talk with her but he doesn’t have a lot of time. The last guy be bumped off had 3 brothers and they are heading his way. Will Ringo really be able to take these guys down while settling down to be a family man once more?

Ringo has been travelling the world fighting for a very long time so it’s definitely hard to just stop and try to be with the family again. It’s easy to see why Peggy is a bit nervous about meeting him because it would be hard to know if he has really changed or not. It’s certainly been many years and he hasn’t even seen their kid before. It just seems a bit late to try to go through it all again and so she is not really planning to meet him although she is getting pressured by her friends in the town. After all if she doesn’t see him then he won’t be leaving too quickly and the villains will be coming around town.

Ringo is a fun main character though. He doesn’t want to fight but he can certainly end the battles as needed. When someone points a gun at him, Ringo is quickly able o take the guy down. There’s not much you can do about a bullet to the back but in any other kind of scenario, Ringo has this. I do like the running gag of sorts that everybody thinks they can take him though. The guy clearly never gets any peace, there is always some young guy trying to take the title. That’s probably something that would be true for any dangerous profession since everybody would want to get in on the action. All it takes is a lucky shot and you could be famous. Of course then the pressure will be on your head next but none of these characters are really thinking that far along.

It’s the curse of being the strongest after all, you are really on your own. We don’t get a lot of fights here but the film does show us Ringo’s abilities early on. He’s definitely the real deal in a fight. None of the villains are nearly as skilled as he is but this isn’t really that kind of film. All of the villains rely on cheap shots and surprise hits to really hope to stand a chance. They gave up on the battle of skill before it even started.

Meanwhile Mark was a solid supporting character. He was a good friend to Ringo and I would say he was good at his job. It’s easy to see why there was never any trouble in town. He was always running a pretty tight ship. I see a lot of films where the authorities don’t do much of anything in the western so it was a nice change of pace. Like I said, the ending is a bit disappointing though. It doesn’t really feel deserved and while the film was going for a message there, I could have done without it. It’s not a satisfying conclusion after the rest of the adventure, not at all.

Also quick shoutout to the bar owner for being one of the more entertaining characters in the film as well. It’s a dangerous job since everyone is trying to pick fights in your bar and you have to try and be a mediator at times. This guy doesn’t scare easily though and was always pretty involved in the plot. Just a fun character and the world building here was real solid. We got to meet quite a few of the people in town even if their roles were on the smaller side.

Overall, The Gunfighter is a pretty good film all in all. It may have stumbled at the finish but the overall story was very interesting and the cast of characters was solid. In a way it’s not even like a whole lot happened so the film could have easily been boring with the wrong staff. Fortunately they were up to the challenge and the movie went by very quickly. I could definitely recommend it to any wild west fan or anyone just looking for a fun time. The writing and script are both very good here and I would rank it very high up in the genre. It may be low key in terms of action but it still makes the most out of each scene. In the end Ringo’s best plan might have been to show up in town while in a disguise. If nobody suspected that he was some kind of legendary gunfighter then he wouldn’t be getting so many challenges all the time. Before the days of internet and photos I bet it would be really easy to become a different person. Not like you really even had ID in the wild west. Voice would be the toughest part but still not that bad to be honest.

Overall 7/10

Snowpiercer Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Snowpiercer is a film that started out rather solid but got weaker as the film went on. It just wasn’t really able to handle the amount of pressure on its shoulders. The film started to go more into shock value and the whole ending starts to get annoyed. I’ll give the film props for the surprise ending since I didn’t expect it to go so dark with the bear but it works pretty well. Sometimes humanity just isn’t ready for the comeback.

The film introduces us to a world that has entered a new ice age. Humanity has been wiped out with the exception of all the people aboard one long train. This train never stops and continues to circle the planet constantly. The train cars divide the rich from the poor so the rich get an amazing life with everything that they could ever want while the poor struggle to just barely survive. They only get the scraps at best and so Curtis has been waiting a while to launch a full scale rebellion. It’s a risky plan because no rebellion has ever succeeded before. Still, he can’t just continue to live life the way he has been because there is no future to it. So he gathers everyone up and preparers to move forward. Time to see if they can pull this off.

The deck is stacked against the heroes in a lot of ways of course. They have the sheer numbers advantage by a great deal which is their only advantage. The enemies have better equipment and homefield advantage though. Curtis and the others have to learn as they go while the villains have cameras and already know the layout. So that makes things tricky and it turns out that the villains also have some of the best fighters on the ship. As the film goes on we also see just how different life on the rich side is.

The whole film really focuses on the parallels here as the poor don’t have enough food to even survive but the rich are rather wasteful. The poor are unlikely to see any fresh water while the rich have whole pools to have fun with. In general this is the poor vs the rich in a very literal way and it’s fun to watch the main characters try to get to the end of the train. So you may be thinking, what’s the problem?

Well so first up we have the backstory for Curtis that shows up later on. The film wants to show us to a really intense degree how much the main characters had to go through. This involves murder and cannibalism and it felt like a very unnecessary addition to the film. We didn’t need these extra details because their lives sucked enough as it is. Adding these details is just to make the whole movie very grim dark.

Then by the end of the film we find out what happens to the kids. Yeah here we go, the whole film you know it’s going to be something rather sinister and of course that is the case. It’s another messed up subplot and the whole thing is so traumatic that the kid gets brainwashed into this rather quickly. There wasn’t exactly anyone to help the kids out after all. Other characters get limbs chopped off, murdered, etc. The body count in the film is rather high and it’s not afraid to get rather violent at times. The movie is rather brutal and the message is basically that you can’t beat the system. At most you can try for mutually assured destruction which isn’t all that satisfying.

We see that what the main characters are forced to eat is rather gross but that’s the film’s style so you aren’t all that surprised. Basically what it boils down to is that the film overplays its hand tremendously. After a point you get it, it sucks to be poor in this setup. Every revelation after that is just to make the whole situation more and more messed up. The heroes also tend to lower their guard a whole lot during the battles which results in their getting shot. The stakes are a their absolute highest here so you really just have to keep on shooting and fighting back.

One of the most intense fights is definitely when the heroes broke into a gang car and had to start fighting each other. That was definitely real crazy and I have to say I don’t know how they survived for long once the room went dark. It felt like they should all have been immediately slaughtered at that point. It’s good that they weren’t of course but when you can’t even see the opponents that is hard to get around.

As for the villains, well they’re basically ultra evil so there isn’t much to say about them. The main villain is rather psychotic and the fact that Curtis listens to his whole speech for so long and freezes up by the end was crazy. This is the guy at the top, you have to take him down immediately. The whole climax was a bit surreal with the villain not reading the room and Curtis not really doing anything. It is easy to see how this setup worked for so long though since they have so much power. In a way the whole film shouldn’t have been as long as it was.

The only real excuse would be that the villains wanted to have some fun because they were super bored. That could work but otherwise they could have ended this at any point. I haven’t seen a situation so rigged in a while. The film definitely works best when everything was a mystery. I do think the train setting worked well and it’s a very interesting film. Ultimately it just got way too mean spirited by the end and you also start to wonder what the whole point of it all was. I don’t think that the second half really stuck the landing the way that it could have.

Overall, Snowpiercer is definitely a film that’s not for the faint of heart. You’re going to see just how intense an uprising can be and how a lot of casualties really start forming in order for the main characters to even stand a chance. A prequel could be interesting to see more about how the setup was first implemented and the original rebellions. We do know that things won’t end well which takes out some of the fun but I am curious how this started. Of course once the villains have been winning for hundreds of years it is easy to see how they have all of the power but how was this accumulated in the first place? That’s what I would really like to know.

Overall 3/10

Scream Blacula Scream Review

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It’s time for the next Blahhhhhhcula film. The name just makes that joke too easy! But yeah this is not a good film and you likely knew that going into it. It’s another really cheap vampire film that’s doing its best to impress and scare you but instead it has the opposite effect. You will be rolling your eyes at this one and wondering when it’s over. There’s nothing to really like about this film as it squanders any decent ideas that might have been thrown into the mix.

The film starts with the queen of voodoo dying so she quickly forgets to name a successor. It has to come down to a vote now and everyone knows it will be Lisa which infuriates Willis. He decides to do something about this and messes with some bones until he resurrects Blacula. Blacula quickly turns Willis into a vampire and then decides to go on another murder spree. Will anyone be safe from all of these murders? Lisa will need to watch out since she is now the one with the strongest Voodoo energy. If she ends up siding with Blacula then all hope may be lost.

So lets get this out of the way, the film has a ton of the usual blood sucking right out of the gate. You’ll be grimacing the whole time because this is not what you signed up for. Not at all! I mean that sounds like I’m in denial but you can do a vampire film without all of that. These also have to be the longest blood drain scenes that I’ve come across. Seriously there’s just no end to them. They keep going on and on and on. If you ask me personally the best thing to do here would have been to do a quick cut. You get the initial bite and then skip.

Although it’s clear that the film was pretty proud of these scenes for how drawn out they were. Even the moments leading up to the bites, you got zoom ins on the teeth early on. At least some of the victims were asking for it like the random guys trying to bully Blacula in the streets. It was nice to bump them off but we can do better than the classic bite every time. So right off the bat the film was already doomed thanks to this.

Then the characters aren’t smart at all. Lisa already knows that Blacula is murdering people and yet by the end she wants to help him and everything? Noooo that’s not cool. She still seems shocked when he continues to hurt people but he’s been doing that since the very beginning so there’s no excuse there. He didn’t change, he was evil right from the jump. That’s what I’ve been trying to explain the whole time. Also considering her psychic voodoo powers, she still looks very weak the whole time.

She is easily suckered by her friend who turned vampire and then tries to drain her. Shouldn’t Lisa have some kind of supernatural defenses? So that’s a big strike against her character right from the jump. Then after that we’ve also got the fact that she doesn’t immediately end Blacula when she has the doll. Just stab it or put it in a choke hold. Instead she takes ages which nearly costs her.

All right, one slight positive for the film. I really liked the confrontation between Justin and Blacula where we have a really tense talk. Both of them are casually murdering the other one and it’s a very boss moment for Justin. Not a smart one mind you, since Blacula could have murdered him at any point. Still, it showed that he was ready to stand his ground. The film is really reusing this from other titles but it still hit right. It’s the best scene in the film by far.

In general I was glad that the cops got involved as well. They actually get to fight it out with the vampires which was pretty cool. We get some actual battle scenes although the cops have a bad habit of hesitating. Look, these are vampires, you have to just take them out. Use the stake or it will be used against you. I did wonder why they wouldn’t re-use a stake though. For example one guy uses his stake and then gets rushed by a second vampire so he cuts it in half to use a new one. Many cops just gave up once they used their 1 stake and got wrecked.

Just pull it out of the dead body and use it again. It’s still made of wood so I’m confident that it will work as many times as needed. These guys really need to learn basic combat skills. The whole film should have been the general confrontation because that would actually be an original take. The full might of the police force against the personal army of vampires that Blacula built up. That had a lot of potential over the usual stuff.

Instead what the film decided to focus on in terms of being unique is the voodoo witchcraft nonsense. Those scenes are some of the worst. They’re super dragged out as well with everyone hopping around and feeling the vibes. They don’t add anything to the film and instead subtract from it. So really you are always looking forward to the few police/Justin scenes but every time Blacula or the Voodoo stuff is on screen the film falls down quickly. We also get a random animal violence when a bird is destroyed. The film needs to do better!

Overall, If you really enjoy seeing the blood sucking scenes from a vampire film then this is your title. I still can’t think of any title that dragged them out nearly this much. However, there is no other reason to watch this film and waste your time. Blacula is not a series that will go down in history as being anything decent. It was really a full on gimmick from start to finish and one that didn’t find its footing. You could have had some interesting social themes here or given Blacula a real personality beyond just draining people. At times it felt like the film was going to perhaps go down that route and then he just starts murdering everyone again. So the film couldn’t resist going back to its roots of shock value. If we ever get a modern reboot, maybe it could change things.

Overall 1/10

Shakma Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right it’s time for a pretty spooooky film. I mean it is basically a horror and the enemy is like a creature so I’d say it fits the bill. The movie is definitely an intense one but suffers from all of the usual issues like animal violence and over the top violence in general. This film will have you wincing almost constantly which as you can imagine, can make it hard for the film itself to succeed.

The film starts off with a bunch of doctors/assistants gearing up for their next big game. They run a sort of dungeons and dragons type game in the hospital. After hours they set up all of the rooms and lock down each of the floors. The professor has a virtual system to keep track of everything and coordinates the efforts as the Gamemaster. The first person to get enough clues and free the princess wins. They’ve been doing this for a long time with no problems but one of the girls accidentally mentions the game in front of one of the new hires. Now he wants to play too but the guy’s not very serious and could hold them back. So the characters decide to give him the role of monster to scare people and afterwards he finds out that he’s missing out on a date by being here. So he intends to sabotage the game so that it goes very quickly but what none of them realize is that a dangerous monster is already on the loose, Shakma! Shakma is aiming to destroy all of them as soon as possible so he must not be underestimated.

So Shakma is a baboon and not the most intimidating one on sight. He is fierce and aggressive but you’re jus wondering what would make him scary. Do you really fear such an opponent as this guy? He tends to murder everyone with a quick bite as the first blow and then once the opponent is on the ground it’s over. It’s technically a pretty impressive combo starter because if he bites the right place then it’s all over. There’s really nothing for the opponent to do. So I sort of get that and acknowledge that he fights smart but I still wouldn’t call him very scary. The concept of the Shakma is scarier like when you see him from a distance or on the poster. You absolutely get it but in practice…eh I don’t think he is ready for the big leagues.

Unfortunately most of the characters are super annoying. These are the kinds of people who will just sit back and watch as someone is being torn apart in front of them. I get panicking and everything like when the chips are down but this is just too much. You need to have some characters to root for and this makes them very unlikable. Take the guy who was trying to sabotage the whole game over a date. It’s an awful look because he asked to be a part of the game early on. Yes, he started to have second thoughts about this but he didn’t voice them soooo…I can’t feel all that bad for him. He just needed to do his best and actually participate.

The professor was the most likable character by far. He had a lot of patience and was doing his best to make the game a success. I imagine that it takes a lot of work to set up the whole program each time. So he gets a whole lot of credit there. You were rooting for him to be the one to defeat Shakma. Meanwhile the rest of the students would just keep on splitting up over and over again. Even right up to the end the final 2 survivors decide to split up again. Are you serious?

I dare say that they make the average horror movie characters look smart in comparison. These guys are making so many mistakes that you start to have trouble keeping track of them all. They just keep on coming one after the other. A lot of times the excuse is that they want to look for one of the other teens who got bumped off since they don’t know that he was bumped off yet. The problem with this is after a point you at least need to let the cops know first. The worst part of the film’s logic here is the phones.

Each time they think about calling the cops, they decide to do something first. No, call the cops first and then keep looking around if you want. Every room should have a phone in the hospital or at least most of them. Where were all of the phones when they were needed?? It doesn’t make any sense at all. I felt like I was just watching madness here after a while. The setting of this film taking place in a hospital makes it so that none of this makes sense.

In fact, what about security in general? Sure this is after hours so the staff aren’t around but you mean to tell me that none of the guards were patrolling these floors during the game? Yeah I have more and more doubts as the film goes on. This just doesn’t mesh with logic. The film was doomed already with all the shock value though. I don’t really see the point of the surgery scene from the intro either. We know they work in a hospital so stuff like that happens, why do we gotta see it? Feels like it was just there as a cheap thrill which is no good.

Overall, Shakma is a classic creature feature film to an extent but all the violence is dialed up to 11. It definitely feels like one of the more violent titles that I’ve seen in a minute. In a way it’s probably because of how drawn out each of the murders are. They just keep on going and going. Then of course you have the live surgeries and everything. Nah this film was definitely not for me and loses out to most of the other creature films. This one did surprise me with how the story ends but that’s more of a thumbs up for me and not something I’d raise the score over. It just showed that the film wasn’t afraid to be rather bold and take things in a different direction.

Overall 1/10

Kidnap Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about trying to stop the ultimate evil, a human trafficking ring targeting kids. As you can expect it makes for a pretty intense film since the stakes are super high but unfortunately the film never ends up being really solid. The villains are naturally just here to advance the plot but the main heroine fumbles the bag a few times and the story isn’t even narratively solid. There are massive plot holes here.

So the film starts off by introducing us to Karla who has had a tough time managing things. She split up from her husband who is now with a super successful doctor which is making court proceeding difficult since he wants full custody of their kid. Karla is trying to fight this off but then while at the park, her kid is kidnapped while at a crowded event. She manages to see the one who did this and gives chase but how can she stop him?

The actual kidnapping is the part that you have to handle the most carefully because the timeline has to make sense. Yes, people get kidnapped from public spots so that can work but the film writes itself into a corner early on. Karla picks a spot near the front of the show and only walks a few steps away to make her call. Why turn her back to the kid? We call that plot convenience! However, she was still very close and was in verbal contact with him the whole time with the whole marco polo stuff. So what’s the problem?

Later on we get a flashback of what happened with the villains having an extended talk with the kid as they trick him over to the car. Somehow Karla is no longer within visual view which is how the villains’ scheme works. So it shouldn’t have worked from the jump since she was super close and also the length of their conversation doesn’t match with how short Karla’s call was from the last marco polo test. I thought the film was gonna try and do something clever with the kid’s recorder and have it be the one saying marco polo but that’s not the case as we find it on a nearby bench where it had a different recording.

The film knocking itself out right at the jump is pretty bad. Okay so from there we have a high speed chase with the cars driving everywhere and I’m always skeptical how much you can actually do that with how many cars are on the roads nowadays. Still, Karla keeps up fairly well but eventually the villain tells her to leave or he’ll bump off the kid. So she leaves and hopes she can find him again. She does but that’s pretty lucky. So here’s my thing, you can’t let the villain get away like this. It’s similar to the classic hostage situation. “Get into the car or I’m gonna murder you”.

People forget this but dying is certainly not the worst thing in the world relative to what the villains are planning. In fact if the villain has a gun, it’s better to make a move right away because if you die at least it’ll be relatively quick with the bullet. You might even get the gun and live. Similar case here. If he gets away with the kid, the kid’s going to wish he was dead later on. You are obligated to continue pursuit and yeah there’s a very real chance that the kid will die which is a super hard decision to make. You are sparing him the future suffering though which is what you have to remember.

So yeah you can’t just get off the highway there. Ah well, eventually she finds him and then it’s time for round 2. So he gets out of the car with his knife and makes some more threats. So Karla…tosses him a purse with access to $10,000 in funds? The first problem with this is when you give the money up front like that then there is no incentive for the villain to actually honor his end of the bargain. He’s just gonna keep it. Also, this was her chance to just ram him with the car. With the main villain out of the way there would just be one villain left.

Instead she lets the other girl get in the car and surprise…the villainess tries murdering Karla. Karla gets extremely lucky here and fends her off except…she doesn’t finish the villain off? So the villain heads home for a future showdown. The whole movie I’m just shaking my head at this point. You’ve gotta be ruthless with these villains and show them that they can’t mess with you. They will be on a one way trip to oblivion with you.

Karla’s final big miss for me is when she gets to the villain’s base. The kid is somewhere around here so she just needs to find him. So what Karla does is put her big shotgun on the kitchen table and then starts hiding when the villainess returns. This allows the villain to grab the gun and reload it with ammo…..cmonnnnnnnnn. Also, this lady isn’t exactly in fighting shape. Karla just needs to end her here while extracting some information and then that’s it. Getting the info is probably risky though so just bump her off and find the kid yourself.

Karla takes way too passive of an approach to the entire film and gets super lucky the whole time as a result. You’ll be second guessing all of her decisions here. I’m not gonna put much blame on the kid in this case because that’s sort of missing the point here. The kids are so young that they aren’t able to help out much at all. It’s really Karla’s job to take over and save the day. Of course she ends up doing well but I thought that her plans and tactics needed a whole lot of more work.

Overall, This isn’t really my kind of film. It’s certainly not intense enough to get the blood pumping and there isn’t really much of a character cast. The villains are just two psychos who barely even get names since that part’s not important. They’re just evil and serve as the antagonists. Karla’s a nice person and works well as the lead although I would have liked to have seen her do a bit more in the situations I mentioned above. There was definitely ample opportunity to bump the villains off earlier. Some scenes like the cop being oblivious as he’s taken down or the hellocopters flagging the wrong car also will have you scratching your head but those scenes are so over the top that you barely take them seriously anyway. You’re not going to have a lot of fun with this film which definitely hurts in the end, there’s not much reason to ever rewatch it for example.

Overall 3/10

The Night Before Review

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It’s time for a comedy title that gets a little serious so you can almost think about it like a dark comedy at times. It’s got some Twilight Zone vibes to it as well and it makes for an intriguing start. The problem is that as the mystery gets unraveled, the film gets weaker and weaker. So by the end I’m afraid that this film definitely gets the thumbs down. I like the concept but would have definitely approached it differently.

The movie starts off with a drunk Winston wandering around through the night. How did he gets here and what is going on? His memory is all in a daze. He quickly realizes 3 things. 1. He was on the way to prom with a girl named Tara but she’s missing so he needs to find her. 2. A gangster named Tito wants to beat him up for some reason so he needs to stay low. 3. His dad’s car has been hijacked and he needs it back. It’s hard to say how all of this could have happened to him but Winston better move fast because he needs to get Tara back home before her father notices.

Here’s the thing with memory loss cases like this, in most situations it means that the guy was drinking which is what caused this lapse in memory. Well, unfortunately that is exactly what happened here. Winston decided to have a drink at a super seedy place which wasn’t smart and the drink was spiked with drugs so he was out for a while. He makes tons and tons of mistakes throughout the film. He’s just not very smart at all and is like one of those characters out of dumb and dumber.

At first when we’re introduced to Tara you feel like she’s being way too mean to Winston. It’s uncalled for how much she is berating him and everything but by the end of the film you get it. This guy is in way over his head and has no idea what to do. Everyone keeps on suckering him over and over too. The way Winston loses the car was particularly bad but same for how he let Tara’s card and wallet get stolen. Basically if there was a way to mess up then he would. It’s a comedy film so you are expecting him to mess up a lot but it tends to be less in a charismatic way and more in an annoying status. You’re not rooting for him quite as much as you’re supposed to.

The guy even lets himself get dragged into a quick affair with another lady who was hanging around which doesn’t speak well to Winston’s loyalty. I don’t feel like he’s a very responsible individual and if anything he is just getting everyone into trouble the whole time. Definitely a thumbs down for that guy all the way. Tara was way more fun. Yes, she can be mean but she is a lot tougher and gets things done. She gives attitude to all of the characters without any remorse.

Winston tries to make a speech about how Tara is spoiled at the end but I’d argue that she is fairly down to Earth. She certainly has more street smarts than he had. Ultimately, the trouble she got into was basically unavoidable compared to Winston’s situations where he was the one making the mistakes. If anything she did well to keep her composure and everything considering what was happening. Her plot of being sold off from person to person was a bit dark for the film though. Using that kind of a plot point for tension as to why Winston needs to save her quickly is always a bit much.

It’s also the film’s excuse to have a lot of fanservice squeezed in at one point. The film could have taken the high road but opted not to. The shame is that there are a lot of scenes in the film that are actually really funny. Scenes that will have you grin a little and the over the top nature of the moments can work really well. Like when a crazy guy shows up and reaches into Winston’s pocket to steal his wallet. I loved how direct the guy was. He just wanted the wallet and wasn’t hesitating about it. The rough neighborhood was just as rough as it looked. The fact that there wasn’t a twist was almost the twist in itself. No moment where it turns out everyone’s just super nice and everything. Nah, this was just the heroes making a bunch of wrong turns.

The ending is definitely not satisfying though. It goes in the direction I would have preferred that it avoided because it doesn’t really make sense in this context. After everything that went on, only the opposite answer would have made any sense. At least if you ask me, that’s how I see it. It also deprives us of a funny ending where the father chases Winston around or something like that.

So in the end I generally enjoyed the scenes with Tara bashing Winston and Winston running around getting into trouble. I didn’t really care for where Tara’s plot went from there and of course the whole climax is more of a thumbs down. So this was a bit of a mixed bag but my main thing is, would I watch this by myself or recommend it to anybody? The answer to both questions is no so that’s the end of that.

Overall, The Night Before is an interesting film and one that has a lot of good humor thrown into the mix. It can definitely bring on some good laughs but at times it can also just be really annoying. I thought Winston got off way too easily considering how many mistakes he made. If you ask me, he should have lost in the end and there’s no way Tara should like the guy. You don’t have to go with the cheesy Hollywood ending when you’re a comedy film. It would have been so much funnier if she basically told him to get lost at that point. I don’t even think it would be mean spirited, it would just make sense if anything considering everything that just happened.

Overall 4/10

The Lost Boys Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for some vampires. You already know that means the film is starting off at a disadvantage but maybe it can pull through and win anyway? Wellllll…unfortunately that is not the case so I still do have to give this one a thumbs down. The characters tend to be annoying and the film can drag on at some points. The main romance with the teens also doesn’t work so well.

The film starts with Michael, his younger brother Sam, and his mom Lucy moving from a nice place over to the murder capital of the world. They’re staying with Lucy’s father and at this point the goal is really to try and make the best of it. Sam is one of those guys who is very personable and he acclimates to the new place quickly even if it is odd how two kids keep telling him to watch out for vampires. Michael sees an attractive lady who is already taken but since when has that stopped him? He flirts with her which causes the leader of the vampire group, David to show up and mess with him. Michael succumbs to peer pressure immediately and gets turned into a vampire. Can he control his urges and stay on the path of justice?

There’s a lot to unpack here and unfortunately most of it is not good. As the lead character Michael makes too many mistakes. It’s not really good form to go after someone who is already in a relationship. Yeah it’s not the same as someone being married or engaged but at the same time it makes you look desperate. It was clear that Star was leading him on from the jump so the only right answer there is to just dodge the situation entirely. She manipulates him so easily that you’re just shaking your head. Their romance really was bad.

Meanwhile Michael was falling for the illusions each time and then not suspecting that something was wrong about the vampires was a real miss for him as well. He does control the urges well at least and I can tell you right now that I have no issues with taking out any of the villains. As far as I’m concerned that is full self defense and everyone was trying to murder the vampires in order to save the town so there’s no functional difference here. Something to keep in mind since the end of the film is trying to throw a message in and it doesn’t really work.

I liked Sam a lot more than Michael. He’s a likable kid who has a positive outlook. Again, if not for the vampires he was going to get used to the new town real fast. He had a good sense of humor and is also responsible. This is the kind of kid you can count on to make your life easier. He gets a big role along with the two vampire hunters but technically it’s not like he can fight all that much so I wouldn’t expect him to do a lot of damage. The villains are just too powerful.

As for Lucy, she’s definitely a sympathetic character. She’s also been through a lot with the divorce and all. It may be a little fast to get back into the dating game but at least it’s treated like an actual dynamic among adults. It starts off with a basic dinner and nothing crazy. Usually I’d say the romance subplot had no point being in the film but this time I suppose it justified its own existence. It’s still a bit on the weak side but as a character Lucy was solid.

Then you have Max whose role is pretty fun. He is the character you will be thinking about a lot here and some scenes you can see in a different light. So he makes for a fairly solid character, certainly better than the vampire gang led by David who mostly just look like creeps the whole time. They’re not intimidating in a fun way and if anything they’re so overconfident and sloppy that this is what leads to them getting cooked all the time. As long as they remembered basic fighting techniques then they would have been okay here. The problem is they don’t have much of a goal except for spreading chaos.

I would have liked to have seen perspectives from more of the outside world. Not someone about to die but maybe a few locals talking about how people are always getting kidnapped and being murdered which seems weird. The film does establish this place as the biggest murder area in the world but doesn’t follow that up with anything. I’m sure the mayor and the cops would have something to say about that right? Adding them in with a big role would have been really fun.

Just something to give us more time away from the vampires. You already know that nobody can put up a fight against them so the nameless characters are doomed. The film doesn’t keep your attention the way that it should. It throws in quite a few jump scares involving the dogs. It’s a dangerous game since that could have easily tanked the whole movie but fortunately it avoids getting hit with the solid 0-1. The dogs end up looking fairly tough the whole time and Sam’s dog really saves the day more than once. So I appreciate that. Having a dog on screen always speeds up my heart rate a little bit but when you have a happy ending like this then that definitely helps out a whole lot.

Overall, The Lost Boys is a film that had some potential but it doesn’t live up to this in the execution. The comedic elements could have helped to raise everything up but at the end of the day it still focuses more on the vampire stuff than anything else. The characters created too many issues on their own and so in the end what you have here is a film that doesn’t give you much of an incentive to watch it. At least I did like the grandfather. His role was small but the confidence was nice. If the film had doubled down on more of the humor this could have really been a different ballgame.

Overall 3/10

Jewel Robbery Review

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It’s time for an old school heist film that really goes by quickly. It’s a film that lands the humor over rather well and will keep you entertained all the way through. The main character may be no good since she is a cheat through and through but the main thief here makes for an interesting villain. He’s definitely not someone that you want to underestimate or it will be all over. The surreal nature of the whole thing really does wonders for the story.

The movie starts by introducing us to Teri who is super bored and one of those characters who figures that the grass is always greener. She wants some excitement in her life and to break away from how monotone things usually are for her. Her husband is rich but he got his money the legal way. So she has various affairs and flirts a lot with her husband’s younger associate. This is already pretty bad but what gets worse is when the shop is hijacked by a bunch of thieves. The main thief wins her heart over rather quickly. He’s not just any thief though, he likes to rob places while being a gentleman the whole time. So he makes sure that nobody is harmed and even makes some jokes along the way.

He invites Teri to go along with him and for a while there she is a bit skeptical of this but then she figures it might be a good idea. It won’t be easy though as the cops are hot on the trail. Will she decide to go with the thief or ultimately stand up for what’s right and help get the stolen merchandise back? Only time will tell, this is definitely not an easy decision for her at least.

So like I said the film is mainly played for laughs so you aren’t to take these things too seriously. That said, it is the best case scenario if you are the one being robbed. The villains aren’t hurting anyone and you are fully insured so it’s not like you won’t get anything back. Your business won’t be the same ever again though. The thief uses laughing cigarettes to knock people out and he has a flair for the dramatic. His backup plans have backup plans so it is hard to get one over on him. You figure this guy is almost definitely going to win in the end because nobody seems to be on his level. He’s just too quick witted.

You can’t feel quite as bad for the victims of the robberies as you could either since they’re not the best characters either way. For the younger associate, he is going after a married woman so that’s a massive no no right out of the gate. Then for the husband, he’s really letting himself be made a fool out of by his wife the whole time. I liked the well meaning police officer though. He was talking tough throughout the film about how smart and capable he was. I definitely appreciated that. It may not have turned out all that well for him but the confidence was still good. It’s always better to be confident and fail than to not have had the confidence in the first place.

These are also humor scenes that just worked really well within the film’s context. I’m not saying that it’ll be laugh out loud funny but the scenes and writing in the film are consistently clever. We even get quite a few fake outs that are written really well. You’re always left guessing as to what is going to happen next. It’s really impressive just how much influence the thief has and apparently he has dozens of identities to fall back on as well. That is the hallmark of a true pro.

The main cast is fairly small but this is the kind of film that doesn’t need a whole lot of characters. You really just need the thief to punk everyone, the heroine to fall for him, and then the peanut gallery wondering what is going to happen next. The rest of the film is just executed really well with the fun writing and really fast pacing. There is always something going on and it certainly never drags. At most you may just wish it could go on a bit longer with the thief messing with everyone but the length works well. Sometimes you don’t need a film to carry on for very long.

By default the weakest part of the film here is the romance. After all it’s not like you can root for the heroine to get together with the main villain right? That would be a really bad idea. The ending is a bit happier than you might think but we’ll see if it all works out. Either way I doubt this will be getting a sequel any time soon. It just doesn’t seem like the type of film that would since it’s really a standalone story all the way through.

Overall, Jewel Robbery is a pretty fun film and I dare say it’s better than I would have expected. The opening robbery scene really set the tone right from the start with how easily the thieves broke in and took control. I always like it when villains have an honor code to fall back on as well. Naturally it doesn’t make him any less of a villain or anything like that but at least it does make it so that you don’t mind when he is dominating. The guy wanted his money and figured out the most efficient way to do it with minimal effort. You have to give this guy some props in creativity for pulling all of this off like that. If this sounds like a fun time to you then I recommend checking it out right away. You don’t want to wait and then forget all about this title after all. You can also see what you think of the burglary attempt in general. Should it have worked? (I’d say yeah. It seemed to be well thought out)

Overall 7/10