Category Archives: Live Action Movie Reviews

Rollerball (2002) Review

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It’s time to look at the remake to the original film that I just watched. Seeing both versions on the same day definitely makes for a pretty interesting marathon watch. It’s safe to say that the original is better in just about every way though. This one has a very “Try Hard” feel to it from the start. It doesn’t seem like the creators had a ton of confidence in the story or writing so right out of the gate they’re having to add all this extra stuff and it doesn’t work.

The film starts off by introducing us to Jonathan who likes doing extreme things. He even races on a skateboard kind of device through the streets which looks extremely dangerous the instant he gets on it. Definitely not a very responsible thing to do and when the cops show up at his door, he figures it’s time to finally get into Rollerball. It’s an extreme sport filled with lots of danger. Think of it like Rollerbading meets Hockey and you’re zooming around trying to score while people are driving motorcycles and all violence is allowed. Jonathan has become the world champ here but there is a dark conspiracy afoot. More and more people keep getting injured and dying as the ratings go higher. Is there any way out of this?

I will also say that the remake tries to spell things out for you more than the first. In the first movie we never heard the exact rules of the game but you could just piece it together while watching. In this one we literally have a whole scene for the announcer explaining the rules. It’s not a bad idea by any means but it does give you a glimpse into what this remake is like right from the jump. Everything is less nuanced. The villains are super evil, complete with evil laughter and long winded speeches. The opposing teams are all in the dark as well and when push comes to shove they are ready to help. The body count is much smaller and things are allowed to be happier.

Hey, I’m all for a happier ending but the whole film just doesn’t work. Part of the problem is that this film takes place in modern days instead of in a dystopia. In the latter it is easy to excuse a lot of thing like nobody caring about all of the deaths since humanity was cooked a long time ago. In this case it doesn’t make sense that they’re still getting TV deals and becoming a huge hit. The instant the first death hits you are looking at tons of lawsuits and negative media coverage. Yes, the sport could continue but it would be more of an indie thing and not the massive mainstream audience with top ratings that we see here.

You can cut a bit of slack for this being in a foreign country and the standards are a bit more lax but the more the film goes on, the less weight this holds. You also have this company owning the border guards, and being able to do whatever they want. The host even takes out a gun and threatens the local media companies in the middle of a crowd. Alexi doesn’t care who sees him and this works in a dystopia but not here. So the film should have kept this in the future. It doesn’t make sense to be in present day.

Then to make things edgier, we have a ton of fanservice throughout the movie. The film wants to show us how depraved the villains are, so they’re all living out their fantasies degrading everyone and the scenes have absolutely no point to being here. It’s clearly a desperate attempt for more ratings and I dare say that it won’t work on the average moviegoer. Even having girls playing in this league makes no real sense with how violent it is. Another thing that I could have turned a blind eye to in a dystopia.

In fact, let me put on my conspiracy hat here for a minute. I think there are only two reasons why they added women participants to the sport for this remake. The first is for…you guessed it, more fanservice since they can add random locker room scenes. The other is just so they could throw in a big romance which would give Jonathan more motivation for later. The romance is pretty bad though, one of those really rushed ones with no real depth behind it. I’m sure the writers had a chuckle with the last line in the film as a callback to the first conversation with Jonathan and Aurora but it’s not enough to salvage the whole sub plot.

The actual Rollerball scenes aren’t bad but even this is not as good as the original which is crazy. It’s a case of trying to do too much. Now we have ramps, big jumps, you have to throw the ball into a goal instead of jamming it in there and the stage is much smaller. To make up for that, there are less players on each team but the whole thing just feels more convoluted and I can’t think of any way where it is quite as good. At most I can admit that throwing the ball into the goal would be more practical in real life but that’s it. The rest of the changes just don’t make much sense to me unless making the arena smaller was a budgetary constraint.

The cast is not particularly inspiring. Jonathan was annoying in the intro. He’s a decent guy but starting off as a delinquent isn’t great and in the whole climax he doesn’t have much of a plan except to try and murder as many of the opponents as possible. Only problem is that he’s super outnumbered so he has to be saved a bunch of times. It doesn’t make him look very smart. I don’t have any real issues with Aurora. She does her best to help Jonathan and make sure that he’s doing well while she makes the sacrificial play since she has family that she can’t leave.

It takes Ridley a little while to find his moral compass so he’s not as good but at least once he is in danger then the guy starts to move. So I can appreciate that a bit. Sure, it’s selfish and all but I can picture a lot of people making that call. You want to hope for the best to make all of the money until you can’t deny it anymore. Alexi’s a fairly generic villain. Not much to talk about with that guy, he’s okay at best.

His right hand man Sanjay is actually really interesting though. I could have used more screentime for this guy. He’s more ambitious than Alexi and smarter as well. He really thought things through and had a great scene near the end even if it didn’t totally end the way you would have expected it to be. He’s surprisingly the best character in the movie.

As a side note, the whole climax is easily the best part of the film, starting from when Jonathan breaks a window and challenges the villains. Suddenly it was like Jason Bourne where he is taking everyone on and using every object imaginable. He even has a Captain America type moment where he blocks a bullet. Yeah the editing is so bad that it makes Taken 3 look impressive as there are literal frame cuts so we see Jonathan teleporting around the map but we can assume he’s that fast. I was glad that we were getting some real action outside of the arena at least.

Overall, This film had a ton of problems. They range all the way from narrative ones to pacing issues and just plain ole logistical issues. It was trying way too hard in all the wrong places and so that was a recipe for disaster. It can be an entertaining movie for a while but by the end the negatives just racked up way too high to be overcome. Ultimately you are way better watching the first film over the remake. Trust me, this is one that you will definitely want to avoid if you are given the choice.

Overall 4/10

Rollerball Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a dystopia film that also doubles as a sport title. A rather bizarre one at that but the whole movie has a bit of an odd vibe to it. Everyone is so far gone that nobody even realizes how crazy the whole setup is and it’s a grim reminder at how anything can seem normal after it has been the status quo for a while. So just be careful out there.

So the film takes place in the future where there is one sport that unites the world, Rollerball. Basically you have 2 teams of 10 players take the field and the goal is to grab the ball that is fired into the arena and jam it into the opponent’s goal area. Everyone wears rollerblades and is armed with diamond studded knuckles. 3 members of each team use motorcycles to drive around the place. There are penalties that are loosely enforced but you are still encouraged to use whatever means are necessary to get the ball and win. Victory is everything and so this is a sport where you can and will lose everything.

The main character here is Jonathan and he has become a global sensation. This becomes a problem for corporate because part of the point of the game is team spirit. The game must always be larger than the individual person and there seems to be some kind of conspiracy about keeping individuality away in general. So they want Jonathan to quit but he refuses and now corporate is going to play hard ball. They will cause him to leave the game even if it means through death. Can he defy these guys?

The first question you’ll probably have here is why anybody even plays the sport to begin with. Sure, competitiveness and adrenaline will cause you to do a lot of crazy things but playing in a sport where your only realistic outcome is either death or a gruesome injury? Maybe if the alternative is being homeless or something then that’s what you would do but the film doesn’t explore this desolate future too much outside of the game. We see that the rich people have nothing to do in general beyond the game though. They go to the forest and burn down trees for fun, otherwise they just laze around all day. It feels like the world has become empty and that’s a very interesting angle but a lot of it will end up having to be headcanon.

The other question is why are Jonathan’s teammates so slow on the uptake? We see that as early as the semi finals the other teams barely even care about the match anymore. They are focusing on just murdering all of the players. It makes sense as a strategy because then there is nobody to defend the goal. At one point 3 of them team up to execute Jonathan’s friend and it’s not like they’re hiding this fact. Jonathan retaliates by murdering one of them and so the cycle continues.

The problem is how oblivious the other players are. There’s one scene where we see one of the players reach for the ball as if this is a normal sport. He’s promptly thrown into the wiring and murdered. Did the guy not see what was happening all around him? Almost every player loses because they were oblivious like this. Look, if there are no penalties and there is unlimited time, then it makes sense that you have to take out the other team. At the very least you need to practice active self defense so you aren’t just taken out of the picture right away.

Jonathan did good in not bowing to corporate here. The whole thing seemed suspicious and so he decided to stay in the sport all the way to the end. He gave them ample opportunity to explain their position and they never did so at that point he just had to do his own thing. Jonathan was quick on the uptake which I was glad about. At one point they tell him to go in the Helicopter and he will be driven to the game so instead he takes the bus with the team. We all know that if he went into that Helicopter then he would have never been seen again.

His own fame helps protect him a little bit as the company decided not to just murder him in the streets since it would be a big controversy. I think the company may have been overthinking things though because with how brainless the masses were the whole time, they might have barely noticed. They seem to be worried that Jonathan will end up leading some kind of revolution or something but that doesn’t seem likely yet. In fact, their attempts are only making it way more possible since they are attracting so much attention.

So the actual world building was a bit underdeveloped I’d say but the game itself was interesting. While they don’t do a deep dive into the rules, you can quickly understand the fundamentals here. It can be annoying to see the games unfold with everyone acting like NPCs but the matches are handled well. You can see just how dark this future is without the film being downright exploitive about it. I thought the violence was handled well enough and didn’t go too far.

Overall, Rollerball is a decently good movie. I had a solid time with it but you do get the feeling that corporate got real sloppy on this one. It should have been a really easy win for them here but they got overconfident and in the end that was their downfall. They could have had the first girl be a little less obvious about following orders, instructed the wife to be more subtle, bumped Jonathan off with a decent cover story, etc. The ending ends up being satisfying either way though and it was the right way to wrap things up. While we don’t get all of the answers, it does help to keep in a good amount of mystery.

Overall 6/10

Comedy of Terrors Review

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This movie’s pretty funny at first but starts to just barely overstay its welcome by the end. Fortunately that’s when things wrap up or that could have been tricky. I’m always up for parody type titles like this though. You ca recognize how the scenes would have played out if it was serious and then enjoy how it goes instead. It just starts to run out of gags and so it replays them instead.

The movie introduces us to Trumbull who is a super corrupt guy who doesn’t like his wife Amaryllis and only married her so he will have control of the funeral company once her father dies. In the meantime business is slow so he has to work with his partner Felix to murder people for the coffins. It’s slow work though and in the meantime the amount of money that they owe is only getting larger. So at this point the only thing to do is bump off the landlord so this way they don’t have to pay rent. This guy will be tough though. His name is John and he’s known as a very persistent guy who never goes down to the point where he is a pseudo immortal. Can they overpower him?

In a way there’s a lot going on which is why the first half is really good but gets shaky later on. For example I enjoy the banter between Trumbull and Amaryllis. There’s just so much bad blood here and you get the feeling that Trumbull was probably a really bad actor when he asked for her hand in marriage. Somehow it worked out but now he doesn’t even pretend. She tries to get together with him several times and he can’t stand to even look at her. So he drinks and drinks to try and speed up his own demise. The script is fairly clever here and the burns can be funny. It’s the best dynamic in the movie.

Trumbull is also the most charismatic character in general so you always want him to be on screen. Unfortunately when Amaryllis is by herself, her only gag is about how bad her singing voice is so the film repeats this gag many different times. Her character is ultimately used only for fanservice aside from that so there just really isn’t much left for her. You’re rooting for her to get away from Trumbull but not to fall into a rebound romance or anything like that.

Meanwhile Felix is Trumbull’s hapless associate. He has always liked Amaryllis but of course that would be taboo. He talks a good game but always goes along with Trumbull’s orders and is a complete accomplice. I can’t say that I felt all that bad for him. He needed to stand up for himself more and so even if he might feel like a character who needs sympathy, I couldn’t muster much up for him. If you want a sympathetic character then John is your guy. He’s just minding his own business when the main characters keep trying to murder him.

John’s making an honest living and while he may be a stern landlord, he’s not doing anything illegal. You’re rooting for him every time the guy is able to resist the clutches of death. Again this is a gag that might be played up a little too much but I was glad that he never called it quits. This is not your average human and he even had some sword skills.

I can also say that the film has a fun climax with a whole lot of twists and turns. There’s a ton of activity within those final minutes where no character is particularly safe. It ends things in a very satisfying way that makes the rest of the adventure stay as fun as it was. If the ending was bad then it probably would have had a rough ripple effect on the rest of the movie. At the end of the day the ending will always be key for this reason.

The film’s cast is rather small but the film’s not super long or anything like that so it’s balanced pretty well. The character with the least to do was definitely the father since his only role was really to be completely out of his depth and not sure what was going on. You always felt bad for the daughter who saved him from being poisoned many times but he never understood so he blamed her for stealing the medicine. Probably should have found a way to get that cleared up at some point….

If there was something I could have added to the film aside from a larger variety of jokes, it would be to have had some kind of a big final fight with John. That could have been fun and you could have used the immortality for a lot of fun gags. Like they keep murdering him with more and more elaborate traps/weapons and he just keeps on getting up. I did like their extended fight of him trying to get out of the coffin and their sealing it up. Something like that but as a full on comedy fight.

Overall, Comedy of Terrors is a film that has fun with a lot of gags. It could have used more material to really make this a hit but in the end it was still good. I would safely be able to recommend this one. As long as you’re looking for some good humor then there is really a good amount to enjoy here. It’s also not a bait and switch by any means as the first seconds start you off with some gags right off the bat. They seriously wasted no time here which I thought was rather impressive. Although I am glad that they didn’t keep up with the super speed effects and comedy sounds as that would have been a little too much. The film excels with the subtle comedy where everyone is a bit off but they are all technically acting serious. I find that to be a lot more effective.

Overall 6/10

The Ninth Configuration Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

When you have a movie by the same guy as the Exorcist you already know that you’re going to be in for a rough time. It’s not exactly a vote of confidence right? Well, this one definitely manages to live up to the Exorcist’s legacy so you will want to stay far away from this one. It’s definitely not a movie that you will want to stick around for. You’ll have checked out at least 9 times during it!

The movie starts off with introducing us to a castle where the government has made a safe space for veterans who have gone crazy after their time in battle. Their PTSD and delusions act up in many different ways such as amnesia or complete changes in personality. The place allows the inmates to have the run of the place and they just have guards on the outside to make sure nobody escapes. This does seem rather dangerous and while the idea is probably that they’re all good people who have all just gone a little mad…that’s a pretty big risk. Hudson has been sent over here to be the new head of the place. He will be a doctor who can bring some order to this place but is he up to the job?

I think the most tragic part about this film is that the opening minutes aren’t terrible. We get a solid fakeout in the beginning where a doctor introduces himself to Hudson and they have a reasonable conversation only for the dialogue to start getting weirder and weirder. Well, it turns out that the “doctor” was another insane patient who just thought he was one and the guy gets taken away. It was actually a really solid gag and set things off on the right track. See, the opening of the film is actually more of a comedy with the whole place being rather wacky and silly.

Yeah you could say there are some dark undercurrents here since these people have lost their minds which is really tragic but the film is playing it off in this rather odd way. Like I mentioned, the patients are allowed to do whatever they want so there will be scenes where they storm into the room to talk about painting, movies, drama, etc. Their conversations end up going in circles and don’t really have a point to them. Of course that in itself is the point. It’s a bit on the dull side but it’s mostly inoffensive. I’d probably give the first half like a solid 4 or something like that.

Then things take a turn when the film decides to get real dark and edgy. It all leads up to one of the inmates managing to escape only he ends up going to a really seedy bar where a gang has full control of it. Evidently they have had control of this place for a very long time from how everyone is acting. It’s so close to the army base that you’d figure some soldiers would have gone there during breaks or something right? Maybe they just never noticed or didn’t even care since there wasn’t much reaction to the truck in the opening scene.

Unfortunately the whole exchange is the definition of a film killer. It lasts forever and has the villains getting away with too much. They’re up against a soldier whose mind has been fried for a long time so he’s not able to fight back at all and he’s horribly outnumbered anyway. After he’s tortured for a while, Hudson comes in and then the same thing happens to him. They have him debase himself for a while and by the time he gets up and begins his big Shonen Jump comeback, it’s just way too late to care.

When you have the hero losing, you have to make sure you don’t overplay your hand. You need him to start fighting back while there are still things to fight for and before the villains have had their full laughs. The film really mistimed this and had Hudson put up with way too much. The whole thing doesn’t work and I would argue that even accounting for all of the twists in the movie it doesn’t work. Hudson had shown some aggression in an earlier scene when someone was just grabbing an inmate. Here, way worse things are happening and he doesn’t take that same tone/approach?

He had a security guard be afraid of him during one of the earlier scenes because of how intense Hudson got. So the fact that this didn’t happen here was very disappointing. The film wanted to show just how evil the outside world could be but ended up falling into the issue of too much show rather than tell. If you cut the scene in half and have Hudson start fighting way earlier then it would have gone a long way. Unfortunately the film doesn’t stop there. Hudson’s overall climax after this is definitely real bad.

Ironically his moment is supposed to show the moment of human goodness that the inmate was looking for but i would argue that it doesn’t work. It’s misguided at best and ultimately is never the way to go. There are much better ways to prove that. In fact, fighting off a bunch of villains to save your friend would already be a rather solid moment if you ask me. Choosing a certain method to shock the guy back into reality is definitely not what I would choose. So while the film goes for a happy ending approach in the end, it ended up being more on the sad side if you ask me. There was a whole lot of damage done to the characters here and by the end they’ve lost at least as much as they have gained, if not more.

So far films about insane asylums don’t tend to have a good track record. They tend to be rather crazy the whole time with a whole lot of issues. Either the inmates start to get mistreated all the time or they turn evil and start murdering people. I’m still waiting for a wholesome adventure where the inmates are all cured and the whole process is a lot of fun rather than it being all dark and dreary. The odds of this likely won’t be great though because to an extent it does go against the whole point of taking place in an asylum.

Overall, There are some pretty solid plot twists here that end up getting overshadowed by the film’s failings. Hudson’s character was handled well aside from the bar scene and the gag at the beginning that I mentioned was really good. In general the writing and dialogue were reasonable in the first half. Keeping everyone in the asylum would have been the film’s best bet. I don’t think there was going to be many easy ways to fight off the fact that the film could be rather boring but trying to go the edgy approach really didn’t work. So in the end I would say to definitely give this one a skip.

Overall 0/10

Umma Review

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It’s time for a horror film that I would actually say beats the average one. It’s still not particularly good but its main downside is that it’s boring as opposed to being bad. Not a whole lot happens here and so in that way it avoids some of the usual horror pitfalls but what’s the point of ducking those if you’re not going to do much to increase your score with that extra time?

The film starts with Amanda recalling being electrocuted which gives her nightmares. In the present, she lives in a very remote area where she only really see her daughter Chrissy and the guy who transports her honey, Danny. Amanda has cut off ties with the outside world and also can no longer be near electricity. Due to the traumas of her past, it completely spooks her and makes her sick. Unfortunately this has had a rough effect on her daughter who just wants to be able to lead a normal life and make friends. It gets worse when the ghost of Amanda’s abusive mother shows up to haunt them. Can Amanda fight her off?

Now I will say that Amanda gets off a little easy here because most ghosts like the Grudge show up to start murdering everyone with reckless abandon. That doesn’t happen here, there are actually 0 murders throughout the whole movie which might be a first. It’s extremely rare and so there isn’t even a lot of violence in this movie. The electrocuting scenes are definitely on the disturbing side but are mainly off screen and you just hear what happens. There’s also a bird that gets stomped which at least was all a vision and didn’t really happening. Still unnecessary though.

There are a ton of jump scares here but without anything to actually be scary…it’s not all that intense. So this is really a drama film first and foremost with Amanda not being able to let go of the past. I don’t blame her for being traumatized after all of that though. Her best move would really be to let Chrissy go to the school that she wants and just abandon the bee keeping business since she was never all that into it anyway. That would be the best of both worlds for all parties involved.

Amanda says some hurtful things at one point but she was being possessed so you can let it slide a little bit. My main problem with her is by the ending. Ultimately the film is going for a classic message of letting bygones be bygones which is good of course but I don’t think you need to go as far as to have a ceremony and bow to the grave to help the spirit pass on. Ultimately Amanda’s mother was a bad person straight up and doesn’t need to get any respect by the end. There’s no indication that she ever changed her ways and after death it is far too late.

Meanwhile Chrissy was a solid enough character. The whole situation was pretty tough on her with having to do her best without any friends for so long. It’s lucky for her that River ended up coming along so at least she would have someone to talk to. Chrissy was determined to get out there and change things so she had the right attitude here. I think she’ll go far and the bullying won’t stop her this time. Yeah the film brings up that she was bullied a lot in the past which was rather random and I feel like it didn’t really add anything to the film but I suppose it does show how she’s changed now and will be able to fight a lot harder than before.

Then there is River who at first seemed like she was going to be a rather petty character but she ended up being supportive. She helped talk Chrissy through the situation and staying firm in her resolve to go to College. Meanwhile Danny helped the main characters make a lot of money and seemed like a very reasonable guy. It seemed like he was a good friend for all of those years and while Chrissy was mad at him for holding back on the secrets, he really made the right/respectful calls in all instances.

So the family drama stuff wasn’t bad but it was a bit on the uneventful side. I think you would need more characters to really pull it off and probably ditch the horror aspect. This way you just focus on that and we could have Chrissy going through more of an internal debate on if she should stay with the mother or strike out on her own. I would remove Amanda’s tragic backstory as well so it’s not that she’s in this situation because she’s afraid but that she did it to stop the bullying and keep Chrissy safe. The downside could be that she lost all of her friends as a result which will be what makes Chrissy feel guilty about leaving.

At least to me that would be the best way to do it. In general the writing’s not bad and the film is short so it goes by quickly. The horror stuff for the most part just doesn’t land so I don’t expect you will find this film even remotely scary. The transitions might even just make you laugh. One of the jump scares is that we suddenly cut to a bunch of bees eating some honey and then we go back to Amanda. It was one of the most abrupt transitions that I’ve seen in a while and it was just so random.

Overall, The biggest takeaway here is probably that taking care of bees is a really tough gig. Me personally? I don’t think I would have a great time with it. I’m not a big fan of bees as it is and having them buzzing around 24/7 would be really rough. It sounds like the money was good but that still wouldn’t be worth it. If you’re up for a drama film then this is a reasonable one to check out. It’s not the most eventful title on the block but it’s fairly inoffensive. I don’t think you’ll have any real problems with it so if you end up getting attached to the characters that could even raise it up a star or 2.

Overall 5/10

Blithe Spirit Review

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It’s time for a fairly wacky comedy film from back in the day. This one definitely goes crazy with the ghosts and all but the main character can be fairly annoying. The ending is funny but I would say the film isn’t always able to keep up the momentum. I think it needed to either lean into the slapstick/surreal aspect of the film or have the main character take things a bit more seriously.

So the film starts off with Charles inviting a psychic over to hold one of those trance sessions. He doesn’t actually believe in this kind of stuff but he figures it’ll be good material for a book that he’s working on. After a long and boring sequence of chanting without much actually happening, Arcati leaves and things are back to normal. Charles’ wife Ruth had a good time at least but her day turns upside down when Charles’ ex wife Elvira shows up from the dead. It looks like the seance actually worked and Elvira does not want to leave now. She wants Charles to be all hers and the annoying pat is that he loves the attention. So Ruth has to try and destroy Elvira once and for all.

Destroying a ghost is a very difficult task. Depending on the universe where this is happening, it can be borderline impossible. Still, Ruth is very focused on this objective and even seeks out Arcati, but unfortunately the old lady doesn’t know what to do about this. It’s pretty tragic because she does have real abilities but she really doesn’t have any practical knowledge of the occult. Arcati is also one of the weakest parts of the film in general.

We get quite a few scenes of her trying different tricks and spells to remove Elvira but the problem is that each one takes way too long. Rather than be a fun gag, the film overplays its hand by a considerable amount. The scenes drag on and on and on for such a long period of time. I wouldn’t say that they were all that funny initially but by the end they are more on the unbearable side. That’s a bit dramatic but these scenes do keep the film from being higher.

Additionally I thought Charles was a very poor character. Look, for starters you shouldn’t go on the rebound. After his wife Elvira died, he should have just kept to himself and enjoyed life. This film is a great example of why that is. When she shows up again, he seems to still be in love with her to the point where he doesn’t mind making his current wife feel bad. He continues having in jokes with Elvira and generally being a pest whenever she wants to ask something. Ruth thinks he is crazy for a while because Charles explains things in the worst way possible.

He seems to constantly forget that Ruth can’t hear Elvira and just starts talking. After the second or third time you would think that the result would be patently obvious right? Well, I suppose it was obvious to everyone except Charles. Then even without all of that, he needs to remember that Ruth is his wife now. Sure, he can be polite and cordial to Elvira but not at the expense of Ruth. That’s where the film really trips up because you have absolutely no sympathy for the guy. It’s why the ending works very well at least.

As for Elvira, she’s not the nicest character anyway. She’s constantly insulting Charles. He must have been extremely attracted to her looks because otherwise she treats him like trash over and over again. The poor guy can never even stand up for himself, he’s just constantly being demolished. Also we find out that she cheated on him back in the day and apparently he did the same thing. So both characters are morally bankrupt. That’s just great…..

The only reasonable character here is Ruth. I appreciate that she is fighting hard for her man and trying to destroy Elvira. I feel like she is put through the most the whole time and really has to struggle to stay ahead. by the end she is fed up but that makes sense. If anything Charles really just didn’t deserve her the whole time particularly now that we know about his past. A good relationship needs trust and in this case that just wasn’t there. I do appreciate this film really emphasizing the important or avoiding the rebounds or things can get complicated.

At its best the film gives you some good laughs but it just doesn’t have as many comedic scenes as you would expect. The writing is good but the film is actually playing things rather straight instead of embracing how crazy it is. I don’t really understand the direction they were trying to take the film in. It’s a little too low key when this is a goldmine for different scenarios. Particularly since one scene showed that Elvira can actually make contact with the physical world. That sets up a ton of pranks and different things she can do which would have taken the battle to another level. The film would have to make sure it doesn’t get too mean spirited of course but it is absolutely possible all the way.

Overall, The Blithe Spirit is a film that had a good concept but the execution really missed the mark. I would say the biggest strike against it was certainly the long scenes with the witchcraft trying to defeat the spirits. Every time it would fail and the scenes were just too dragged out. The comedic shenanigans with the ghosts were the best part but the movie needed to commit more. Have them actually fight each other or something. If Charles had been a more likable main character then that would have helped out a whole lot. Instead there is nobody to root for here except for Ruth and there’s not a whole lot that she can do here. For now I would say to skip this one and wait for a better ghost film.

Overall 5/10

Mad Max: Fury Road Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

“All right so here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna make a film about Mad Max where he’s kidnapped for a good chunk of it. He’s still stuck in the same old desert that he’s been for every film in the series and there has been absolutely no progression in this dystopia over all these years. Sounds good?” “Yeaaaaa” This one of those films where you feel bad while you’re watching it because you know that it’s not going to end anytime soon.

So the film starts off with Max being kidnapped by a bunch of ruffians. He manages to come close to escaping but then they capture him again. In the present, he is tied to the front of the car while having his blood continually drained. It’s a really rough spot for him. Meanwhile, a bunch of women decide to break away from this gang and finally claim their freedom. They’re heavily outnumbered though and will eventually be caught. Their only chance might be to team up with Mad Max.

I’ve got a lot of problems with this film as you can probably guess. The real question here is just…where to start. As always the world is super bleak and annoying. The hooligans run the world as always and civilization hasn’t even started. I still question what the point of this whole series is but I suppose that’s neither here nor there for now. There’s nothing interesting to look at and all of the backgrounds are the same. None of the villains are even remotely interesting as they are just edgy randos.

The film also goes more all out on the violence and being generally disturbing this time. This does not do the film any favors in the last. At one point a villain’s spinning around an umbilical cord and you’re just thinking….why? What point does this serve the film? This is one of those cases where the film is so edgy that it just loses the plot all the way through. Then of course you have one of the main women being pregnant while belonging to the villain and this guy basically does whatever he wants whenever he wants.

It’s definitely a tough life when your kingdom is ruled by a madman. At least by the end of the film things will be better but how long will they stay that way? Without a form of government of some kind, the strong will always rise to the top and the power will corrupt them very quickly. There’s just no way around that. So the film doesn’t even leave you with a ton of hope there.

Max is an okay main character at best but I’ve never been much of a fan. It’s not like there’s much to dislike or anything like that, but there’s not much interesting about him either. He’s just a guy who rides on his motorcycle and fights the villains but in this film he got captured so quickly. It’s only thanks to plot armor that they didn’t finish him off to be honest. Furiosa is the main fighter from the women group who tries to lead them off into freedom. She has the most amount of drive and spirit, without her the others definitely wouldn’t have made it.

As it was, one or two of them were ready to call it quits and turn back. Not very smart considering who we’re dealing with here. I suppose there was a bit of Stockholm syndrome going on there. Furiosa is strong and capable so she makes for a good heroine. She practically has to blackmail Max into helping her and then from there she does well with the gun. Hopefully she can use her power to start taking down a bunch of villains and maybe create a society again. That’s all I want at this point, just create something so the world starts to feel more developed and we can get past the endless desert. It’s the only way these films can ever really change.

Otherwise you can hold the last 3 films side by side and play random scenes. It would be hard to know which scene was from which film because they’re all so similar. That’s a really bad sign for any series. At this point even just have Max go into space or something. Get out of the planet and instead of jumping the shark I’ll say that you made the right move. The planet as it is, just stands out for being so grotesque right now.

Maybe if this was a 50s film it could have been a little different. Part of the problem is that every part of this film is like you’re living in the slums. The writing isn’t particularly engaging, all of the villains talk and act like thugs. sure they’re villains but can’t we have at least one sophisticated one? It’s like this brings all of the worst parts of the wild west without any interesting shootouts or anything. I suppose I can at least say that this one had some decent special effects with the sand tornado. It’s not really my thing but it does at least beat being an even more bland film.

There is a lot of action as the characters drive around. I would say that this is a positive except the fight scenes don’t tend to be all that interesting. Even the driving would be a lot better if they weren’t just stuck in the desert the whole time. You can barely see what’s happening at some points. At one point the heroes literally backtrack most of the distance that they had just gone. There’s a story reason for this but you couldn’t help but feel that it was all a waste then.

Even the initial oasis place they were heading for ended up being a waste for the most part. Every time there is some hope, the film is quick to take it away. It’s why I don’t hold out much hope from the ending either. There will always be another gang and more villains without any heroes along the horizon. The series is like an anthology but one where it’s the same story over and over and over again.

Overall, Mad Max takes another absolutely massive loss with this film. The movie is just way too dreary and devoid of any fun. I want to be having a good time here. I want to be grinning ear to ear and laughing at every scene but there’s just no chance to do that. It’s not right and so I don’t have much hope for the future of the series. Maybe it’ll rebound but I wouldn’t count on it. I was pretty close to giving this one a 0 but I suppose there’s just enough going on where it still differentiates itself from the absolute bottom tiers. Definitely stay far away from this title!

Overall 1/10

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome Review

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Strap in folks because it’s time for another Mad Max film. These never fail to disappoint me because the series is so big and yet the films always end up being super underwhelming. This one may beat the original but it’s still not a film that is going to stack up all that high. The film is very dreary the whole time without any big fight scenes to really take it to the next level.

The film starts out with Max getting punked as his vehicle is stolen and so he makes his way to a town that is ruled by violence! They have the famous Thunderdome where you have to fight someone to the death. Max is tough but these guys have a lot of strength too. There are two factions trying for control here. The first group is the one who actually runs the place, Master who is protected by his bodyguard Blaster. Then you have Aunty who has dreams of ruling the place but no way to usurp the throne yet. So she asks Max for help and he agrees so he can get his car and get out of there. Was that a wise move?

The film’s title of being beyond the Thunderdome is pretty accurate since we don’t spend much time in the ring at all. Max is out of there fairly quick as he becomes a runaway and then bumps into a tribe of lost kids. These kids have been waiting for the prophecy of someone like Max to come and save them. They have images of the old world and what the Earth used to be like and that has basically turned into legendary stories over the years. Max breaks it to them gently and works with them to stop the other villains.

Here’s one of the big problems with the Mad Max films in general, you have no real reason to care about the plot. Most of these characters are as generic as they come and there is no real escape. The whole world has already been completely obliterated and even if you escape one group, another one will find you before long. Nobody is trying to rebuild society or anything. There is no progress of that from the first film to the last. If anything I’d say it’s gotten worse. At least in the first film you would still see some semblances of humanity. Now it’s all empty desert which I’m guessing is due to climate change or something.

It’s a world that has given up on being saved and so you just don’t really care at this point. There are no particularly likable characters here and just about everyone is corrupt. The kids aren’t evil yet of course but you doubt that they will be able to become upstanding citizens when they do grow up. Assuming they even live that long with how rough things are. The Mad Max universe is like if everyone was forced to permanently be barbarians until the end of time. As if time never actually moved forward because well it can’t. Without someone trying to change things then we will forever be stuck in the era.

It’s a setting that didn’t work the first time and it doesn’t work now. The film is super grim and while this one is less explicit than some of the other titles, it’s still rather painful. Nobody has a good quality of life here and I can’t think of any real happy scenes here. It goes without saying that Max very rarely smiles but unless you count evil smiles, nobody else is really smiling either. So as the viewer…what is left for me? Not much……not much at all.

The special effects aren’t anything to write home about and I can’t think of any good themes either. The big fight between Blaster and Max isn’t even good because it’s really just a lot of jumping. The way it works in the ring, you use any weapon that you get and you are on a harness so you can jump around a lot. It means there isn’t a ton of actual fighting going on. This is good for Max because it’s made very clear that he wasn’t going to last long in a straight fight against such a built guy. On the other hand, you still could have had some good choreography and martial arts if you really wanted to. Unfortunately the film did not want to do that and so that means there weren’t even a bunch of great fights here.

Then I’m not typically a big fan of kids in these things either and this didn’t exactly change that. The kid mean well but they can’t really fight or anything so they’re not all that helpful for the most part. They help with sheer numbers and back up Max by the end but I definitely could have done without that whole plot. Look, in a film like this I can usually at least jump on the movie having a bunch of animal violence, fanservice, or other issues but at least there’s something to really dive into.

Part of the problem with this film is there aren’t even a bunch of topics to tackle like that. There’s nothing you’re super invested in getting into because the film is just boring. The next Mad Max has more to jump into because it’s a much worse film but the Thunderdome? There’s just not much point to it at all. The whole film should have been about the Thunderdome, at least then we would have a tournament even if my hopes would be extremely low. I have serious doubts that the film would really be able to deliver with the big fights here.

Overall, Mad Max Beyond the Thunderdome is definitely not very good. It’s not as crazy as some other titles in the series to be sure but it’s just so boring. You just really don’t care about anything and this has to be one of the blandest dystopia worlds that I’ve ever seen. Give me some high tech devices or something at the very least. I want a cool character or something. Maybe throw in some witty banter? We get absolutely nothing like that. There’s seriously not a single interesting thing about the movie so skip this at all costs.

Overall 2/10

The Secret of Convict Lake Review

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This film was okay but I feel like nobody looked all that great here. It could have gone badly for the heroes in a bunch of different ways and by the time they got ready for action it was too late. It’s an interesting scenario to an extent but for the most part I don’t think it makes for a good film. As I’ve said in the past, it can be annoying to have a bunch of villains be the leads or even around the leads so you’re just ready for them to go away.

The film starts off with a bunch of convicts escaping from jail and running across the snowy path. They come to a small village where there are only some women who run it. The men are gone prospecting and won’t be back for some time. The prisoners aren’t in great condition since they are hungry and thirsty plus they are unarmed. The women have all the guns but the convicts make the case for why they should stay…and even have a few threats to go along with it. So they are granted the right to spend the night….is this a wise move?

The obvious answer is No! Lets be real here for a minute, there’s a difference between being nice to your fellow man and putting yourself in an incredibly risky position. There are a million ways that this can go really wrong after all. If you ask me….the only thing to do here is to tell them to keep moving. If they hurl any threats then unfortunately you do have to fire. You don’t have to murder them, just shoot out the legs so they can’t try anything and you can keep them alive until all of the men are back in town.

The fact that the convicts were making threats from the start definitely rubs me the wrong way there. Yeah if it’s too risky don’t finish them off right then but instead wait until they go into the house and then take them out. You have to realize that threats like that have to be taken super seriously because they will likely make good on it. On the women’s side, one of them is elderly and can barely walk and the rest don’t have any experience with a gun. The longer this situation goes, the more in danger they will be.

Particularly since most of them do not really have any survival instincts. At least two women quickly get interested in these guys romantically which is crazy since they have only known them for a few minutes or so. Not very smart. One of them is instantly convinced to keep the affair a secret and to even tell him where all of the guns are. What a traitor. The instant you start telling these guys where the guns are, you have sold out your family to a stranger. There’s no two ways about it, it’s the only real answer there and it’s disappointing.

The main convict is named Jim and he’s the only reasonable one here. Of course that does put him in a tricky spot since that means he’s surrounded by the enemy and is forced to be in close quarters the whole time. He has his own plot going on involving the crime he was accused of. If everyone was evil the main characters would really be in trouble so at least this way there was someone to look out for them. I’d still argue the women needs to know how to protect themselves since you still can’t trust anyone no matter how kind they appear to be. Like I wouldn’t trust Jim no matter what he says because you just can’t afford to. In every circumstance you always have to imagine the worst case scenario and plan accordingly.

The romance here is very weak as well. Jim falls for a lady named Marcia who is engaged but wouldn’t you know it, the guy she is engaged to is rather nefarious. So Jim reminds her that she doesn’t actually love the guy and Marcia agrees….that’s great. It feels like a super weak mindgame that got real lucky somehow. At no point should that trick actually have worked. How are you engaged when you’re not actually in love with the guy? A lot of things just aren’t adding up there. Call me super skeptical over here. Of course it all works out but that was sloppy.

Then of course between the traitor running around and the women constantly forgetting to guard the men, it all gets a bit annoying. The tension is that the men could how up and overpower/murder the women at any point and that’s not the kind of tension that makes you eager to see what’s going to happen. The movie just isn’t very fun and really needed better characters. You need to construct a scenario where the men are around and the women are protecting their house without it only being a tough situation because they are making a lot of mistakes. Like have them sneak into town under the cover of night and they could be anywhere. So the heroines have to protect their stables and different houses while making sure not to be separated for too long. That’s the real trick and I felt like the movie just didn’t go that route.

At least the climax is pretty solid though. We have a good chase scene and an actual fight scene at the end. It makes for a satisfying climax with all of the players involved and some good closure all the way through. It still means you have to get through a rather long first 70% of the film but at least ending on a high note is the best way to make sure you’re not going into the realm of being a bad movie. A bad ending would have absolutely tipped it that way.

Overall, The Secret of Convict Lake is an okay film but one where the characters are really annoying. The convicts shouldn’t have been able to deal nearly as much damage as they did. It revolves around one of the women being a traitor and the grandmother getting sloppy near the end. When one side has the numbers and health advantage as well as all of the guns, they should not leave. They lacked the survivor’s instinct here and so the film is more frustrating than entertaining. It’s not a bad film but I wouldn’t be going out of my way to recommend it or anything like that.

Overall 5/10

65 Review

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It’s time for a film involving space and dinosaurs. An intriguing mix to be sure but ultimately it just didn’t work out. With dinosaurs it can already be hit or miss depending on how that plays out and then this film made the mistake of having a very small cast. The problem with this? There just isn’t a lot of dialogue or character dynamics to go through. It means that we are absolutely sunk because the film goes by very slowly.

The movie starts off with Mill getting ready to go on a 2 year journey. This one’s so long that he will really get to miss his daughter growing up and it’s rough because she’s already quite sick. Unfortunately the family does need the money so he goes aboard the spaceship. Everyone dies after an asteroid strikes the craft and Mills lands on a planet infested with dinosaurs. He has his energy gun which can take them all out but he also has to look out for a girl named Koa. Turns out that someone did survive after all. Unfortunately she doesn’t speak the same language that he does so communicating is difficult. Can they survive long enough to get off of this planet?

So you already see the dilemma here with there only being two characters and they can’t even communicate with each other. It means there are a ton of silent scenes as the characters walk around and their conversations can’t go beyond anything too basic or they can’t understand each other. It’s an original dynamic but not one that is going to be super interesting which is the main problem here.

At least Koa is a lot more likable than the average kid in these films. She is fairly resourceful and doesn’t panic all the time. Yeah Koa does have a few times where she breaks down and slows everyone up but it doesn’t happen too often. I can allow for it to happen a little bit. She’s still not a great character or anything but she’s not too bad. Meanwhile Mills is a decent lead but he gives up awful quick. He was about to end it all early on and I felt like that moment was a bit rushed. There were still more options and exploring to do surely. You only throw in the towel like that when you’re really on your last legs and don’t want to die a slow death of starvation or being eaten by dinosaurs. Yeah the last one isn’t super slow but it would definitely be painful.

One of the mistakes the film makes early on is that it just isn’t very fun. This is a very dreary film of the heroes wandering through the jungle and shooting up a bunch of dinosaurs. Occasionally there is a joke thrown in and the characters get to have some fun but this doesn’t happen often and it fades quickly. The backgrounds and areas don’t have much variety and so that doesn’t really help matters. I wasn’t particularly impressed with the soundtrack either.

Of course the big thing here is all of the violence against the dinosaurs. Whether this is the same as animal violence or not tends to depend on how realistic the effects are and how much the creatures look like animals. In this case they definitely look like animals all the way so seeing them get shot or pounded with blunt objects is never any fun. I would also argue that the gun is way too overpowered in this film. One shot can murder almost any of the dinosaurs in this film so there’s not even a lot of danger. The whole time you know that he can definitely secure the win if he just takes out the gun. That’s all he needs to do and it takes away from the survivor angle.

So now that’s weakened and without the gun there would be less dead dinosaurs as well so that would be a plus as well. Look, the dinosaurs have been on this planet for a long time and are just defending their turf so it’s rough to see them all getting mowed down the whole time. This is not how it was supposed to go. So there aren’t many positive aspects of the movie to think about once we’re done with all of this. I will also say that the film gets a bit needlessly grim in what happened back on the home planet while Mills was gone. Is there really any point to the final twist there? It feels like the film just wanted to make sure that there wasn’t almost anything to be happy about by the end.

There was only one avenue to success for this film and the downside is that it could possibly get a bit boring. Redo the film except there are no dinosaurs. So it’s just about the two characters bonding and learning how to communicate without talking. Then you have the humans show up as part of the rescue mission, except they want to murder the kid so our hero has to protect her. It would be a much more engaging film once the opponents show up and the first half can maybe get by on being wholesome. That’s how I would pitch it at least.

Overall, I suppose the film isn’t too long so that’s a good thing. In the end I would say that it just doesn’t deliver on being a really fun summer blockbuster kind of film. There’s no real reason to rewatch it and other dinosaur films like Jurassic World are better. Unless they make a sequel about aliens and cool battles or something then I think this franchise is basically doomed. There are many better sci-fi films for you to check out so I recommend going ahead and doing that instead. This one can definitely wait.

Overall 3/10