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I See You Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a big horror title guaranteed to chill you to the bone. At least, until the film makes the decision to basically replay the first half of the movie again and while you understand the idea for doing so…it definitely obliterates the film’s pacing up until that point. The movie is never able to regain its footing again after that.

The film starts off with a kid being kidnapped as the string of missing persons continues to grow. It’s hard to say who is behind this and so Greg is put on the case. Greg is good at finding the answers to the various mysteries in front of him but this time he is rather distracted because of some family issues going on. His wife Jackie cheated on him and so there is a lot of tension in the house and their son Connor resents her for it. Jackie just wants them to move on already but they’re not having it. Will their family drama be the issue that prevents the kidnapper from being caught?

First up, I think we have to recognize that being cheated on is not something that you just move past. It does make Jackie’s attempts feel a bit hollow here because that’s something you can never really take back. The family is ruined at that point, splitting up is really the only recourse and you hope someday to be forgiven but it’ll likely never happen. You’re just too far gone at that point. I don’t think she really does any favors for herself in hiding who the guy was either or talking about it more. It’s a bit relative since I don’t think there’s much she could have done to help the situation but it also creates a lot of ammo that can be used against her. As a result, she is ready to hide crimes as need be.

Then you have Connor who is definitely unlikable the whole time as well. He spends his whole screentime venting but it’s not like he’s coming up with any solutions or helping out. It’s fine not to get along with her anymore, but then he should just stay quiet and keep to himself. Making scenes the whole time and lashing out does him no favors. Ultimately he also handled a video game situation very badly I gotta say. I’m not expecting him to turn around or something but when you’re messaging with someone anonymously online, you never want to show that they’ve gotten the best of you. He needed to keep his cool and bluff or something. Instead he walked into every single response like an online rookie.

As for Greg, well he’s mostly handling the situation by just being super quiet at home. it’s a reasonable approach so no problems there and he is working pretty hard on the case without getting too distracted. He probably should have mentioned he was sending over a repairman to fix the window but for the most part he didn’t make any big mistakes there. Not a whole lot more to say about him in the first half here.

So you’ve got your basic plot here and you may be wondering, where’s the supernatural angle? Well I’m not sure exactly how much that angle is played up in the trailers and promotions but when watching the film that’s never really in your mind much. When the first kid is abducted you see him launched out of his bike as if by a ghost, but as this film plays itself up more as a crime thriller you’ll probably guess right away what the actual method was. You’re bound to have seen it in at least a few cases.

There are a few attempts at jump scares and such but yeah this one you could think of as more of a realistic horror the whole time about kidnapping. In some ways people would say that’s scarier anyway but I tend to be more partial to demons and such. That said, perhaps the twist is supernatural, I won’t spoil that for you. I had a lot of issues with the first half anyway like the characters being annoying and such but the second half is really where the film loses me.

We get to watch the first half all over again, but in first person view as we’re introduced to the missing pieces of the puzzle. Think of it like a mystery movie where the detective is explaining stuff, only this time you are seeing the whole thing in “real” time. It’s incredibly boring is my biggest issue. Like I said, you can piece together things pretty quickly but the film feels like it needs to smack you in the face with all the details. I think we could have just kept about 20 minutes of the reveal and cut out a ton of the fluff. You don’t need to see the true cause of every single mystery as you can infer a bunch of them as soon as the main reveal happens. If the movie had done that then it would have been good.

Part of the problem is also that the twist introduces some new characters to the film and none of them are likable. Two of these are professional criminals who engage in “Harmless” crimes but as you know, most of those tend to cause actual harm eventually. One of them is at least cautious and tries not to cause too much trouble beyond spreading germs and dirt everywhere, but isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. She is easily manipulated and has no survival sense at all. You need to keep in mind that if you are ever kidnapped and somehow manage to escape your kidnapper’s den in the middle of a forest out in nowhere’s land, the last thing you want to do is start yelling into your phone for the cops to pick you up.

Why? First up, the kidnappers are more likely to hear you and track you down well before the cops show up. Additionally, if there are any wild animals you’re likely to get eaten. The cops will be able to trace your cell phone if you have enough service for a call so just keep the line open. If you feel properly secluded you can whisper into the phone and try to give them directions but you have no idea where you’re at so that’s not going to help much either. Secondly, if you see a trailer car nearby with the doors unlocked and the lights on…don’t go in there. After all, that may have been where the kidnapper was taking you anyway. The odds of it being some innocent soul who is unrelated to the incident is close to 0.

Maybe there are other kidnapped people in there and you want to play the hero? Well that’s your best argument, but it’s still a weak one. Even if you manage to untie one or two of them, they’ll likely be too malnourished and beaten to aid you in a fight. So the kidnapper will still beat you and then eventually murder everyone. Your top priority is still to escape and get some backup. If you have to, just pick a direction and start running. If you’re lucky you’ll eventually make it to someone who can help but your survival odds greatly increase anyway.

Meanwhile the guy with the camera is another annoying character. He causes a ton of trouble the whole time and appears to be completely immature and even starting to fall into the darkness. He very quickly goes down the villainous path and while he is not the ultimate antagonist, I would still say he is a villain as well. The guy has a rough backstory and all but it’s not one that excuses his final actions. He’s a big reason why the second half of the film is super annoying to get through.

I will give the film this though, the ending is pretty solid. It unironically pulls off the popular Naruto meme where he starts to talk about his childhood and the villain cuts him off. Something similar happens here and it was great. Look, if you’re confronted with a mass murderer who has been causing a bunch of trouble, the last thing you care about is his backstory. I really couldn’t care less if I was in that situation and I’d just take him out too. You don’t see it very often in movies since they want to let the villain give his backstory for the narrative and all but this is way more satisfying. Not the kind of thing that can save a film but at least it ended on a high note.

I also liked the mask that the main villain uses. It’s definitely pretty spooky while also being original. It can be a little rarer to see a hit new design nowadays so that was definitely welcome. It’s probably one of the only times when the film is having a bit of fun since the whole thing is rather bleak and dark. The backstories are dark, the kidnappings are all super dark, etc. The fact that this has been going on for so long without anybody finding anything out is also really gruesome. With the previous victims not even being able to be very helpful, it shows just how far gone they were. Again I’d say it’s definitely more tragic thriller than horror as a result.

Overall, I See You is a film that had some really ambitious ideas but they didn’t really work out. The characters needed to be way more likable to pull this off. There also has to be a better way of adapting the second half without it all feeling so old and repetitive. Maybe somehow keep cutting between the two plots and hide that they are connected until later on. It would be difficult but definitely more entertaining. I definitely have a hard time believing some parts of the film like with the timeline and nobody noticing certain things though. The film did go to great lengths to make the case on why people would be particularly not alert but I still wasn’t having it. It had some unexpected twists and was ambitious but either way I would say this one is more of a skip.

Overall 3/10

Frankenweenie Review

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Oh man when the trailer for this film first stopped I was making fun of the title for ages. I just couldn’t get enough of it. Every time I would see it I kept on laughing because it sounds like one of those titles you’d use to make fun of Frankenstein or something. Still, it was interesting to have this spin on things although that does mean a dog has to die as part of the plot which is always extremely dangerous at best. I definitely do not recommend this story tactic to any aspiring writers out there.

The film introduces us to Victor who is a kid who loves Kaiju films and basically working by himself. He makes a whole homemade film where his dog Sparky plays the role of the lead Kaiju who takes down Rodan. It’s all pretty wholesome but his parents worry that he may not turn out right since he has no real friends. They don’t have much time to ponder this though, as Sparky is destroyed a few days later. Aside from there now being 0 chance that Victor will ever try outdoor activities like Baseball again, the parents know that this will change Victor. Learning loss is a tough lesson….and yet Victor uses his genius to bring Sparky back to life. Why lose someone when you can just keep them alive right? I mean it makes a certain amount of sense you have to admit. This may have more side effects than he is thinking though.

I appreciate the fact that Sparky doesn’t randomly turn super evil or anything when he’s revived though. It’s always a bit suspect when the process of being reanimated suddenly makes the character go crazy. I know it’s like a cautionary tale of why you shouldn’t bring people back from the dead but on a logical level it never really made much sense. The best explanation is when the soul itself has already moved on because you took too long, then it being a mindless zombie is fine I suppose.

This movie actually doesn’t really go in that direction though. Sure it’s sort of implied you shouldn’t mess with the dead with how the other creatures start acting, yet the ending doubles down on Victor making the right move. So the lesson is really to just make sure you only bring back those who are really kind and dependable. That’s a moral I can absolutely get behind so I have no real issues there. The ending is solid and the film actually had some pretty good battles as well. Sparky ultimately does seem a little outmatched for most of them but he always fights bravely so I can definitely respect that.

Sparky is a fun character all the way around. The death in the beginning is still rough but at least this is one rare case where stop motion works in the film’s favor. It helps to lessen the impact a bit and at least the whole thing is quick. It doesn’t make things as drastic as it could have been otherwise. I will still go on the record to say that stop motion is one of the worst styles of animation though. While the story is good, the film does not look good visually at all.

The style almost feels intentionally ugly to a degree for a while there. The characters tend to be missing teeth and/or sleep and nobody really appears as they should be. It may work to an extent with the spooky vibe they are going for but give me a traditional animation style any day and that would absolutely be better in every way. I think it would have also helped this movie as well since it gives some support to the rest of the movie. Solid animation can get you more involved after all.

Without that, well this is mainly a story involving a bunch of kids and most of them tend to be on the annoying side. Edgar is basically around to blackmail Victor and the rest of the kids are doing their best for the science experiments but don’t look great. Victor is really the only super genius around here and without him the others could have a closer fight. I did like the science teacher though. He had a good amount of aura and actually knew what he was talking about which was nice.

Most of the adults feel like they are basically powerless the whole time so it was nice to have someone who was in charge. Even Victor’s own father allows himself to be held back when Victor is trapped in a burning building. I think that’s the moment you really have to break free and make a move even if it means breaking the law right then and there. Fortunately things work out but even so it was not his best moment. In general the movie does a good job of keeping the stakes pretty high the whole time. You always think that some of the characters could be in danger and of course Sparky is in the most trouble based on whichever message the film is trying to sell you.

Overall, I thought this was a fun film. The stop motion and lack of interesting characters does keep it from going further though. As far as these kind of films go, Coraline and 9 are both a lot more interesting. This one doesn’t really have the same level of depth or pure story telling that it can compete with. It’s less about it making mistakes and more about it just not having enough ammo to reach the next level. It’s a fairly basic story at the end of the day without a lot of fluff to try and extend it. In a way I suppose you could probably even give kudos for that as well since I’m sure it would have been a tempting thing to do. If you enjoy the idea of a dog back from the grave then you should check it out. The film does make sure to spend some time with Sparky having his antics and even making a friend. It’s a film that maintains a strange atmosphere but I would say it leans more on being happy than being sad so don’t worry about this one being a tearjerker.

Overall 6/10

Appointment with Death Review

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It’s time for the next Poirot film. I’m always up for a good mystery so I was ready to see what is going on this time. The locations feel a bit reused though as part of it is on a boat and most of it is on the dessert. We’ve already covered both locations but it is fully a new story. The actual case is less interesting than the other mysteries but I would say there is still enough to make this a pretty good movie. There is little reason to watch it over the others but if you want more Poirot content then this is the way to go.

The film starts with Emily blackmailing her family’s attorney Jefferson. Jefferson has shown her that her dead husband had a new will where she was no longer the sole beneficiary. So she tells him to burn it or she will tell the world about the super shady things he did back in the day and he will be thrown in jail. Jefferson doesn’t want to pay for his crimes so he obeys and scatters off. Emily can now rule over all of the children as they have to at least pretend to be kind to her since she now controls all of the family’s vast wealth. They all go on holiday but wouldn’t you know it, Jefferson is there. Emily has to be careful because he might have some plans up his sleeve. Additionally, Poirot is around hoping to have a good time. That will be difficult though as murderous intent fills the air. Everyone wants to murder Emily but who will get to her first?

As always with these films you have a rather massive cast. There are a whole lot of suspects everywhere and the only tricky thing is that a lot of them look quite similar. Fortunately the characters are always using their names because otherwise I’d get mixed up quickly. Most of the characters are not all that likable though. They just let themselves get pushed around way too much. The film tries to give them some excuses for this like they just don’t know what to do because they’ve been used to being ultra rich but I just don’t really buy it. That’s just not good enough as far as excuses go.

One of the worst characters here has to be Nadine who is married but still has an affair with Jefferson the whole time. She basically does it right in front of her husband Lennox the whole time just to mess with him. Not really someone you want to have as an associate and Lennox should definitely try to split from her. In the meantime, I suppose it’s tough to tell if he should try to keep on beating up on Jefferson or just ignore them since there’s not much point in trying to fight for someone who has no interest in you.

Naturally Jefferson also looks really bad for this. The guy definitely has no respect and you know the relationship will be doomed. He will eventually get bored and the same thing will happen. How you get someone is how you lose them after all. The guy was already not looking good from the start when he decided to burn the will but this meant that he just kept on getting worse and worse as the film went on. The whole thing was just corrupt.

That is often a theme of the Poirot films though. Most if not all of the characters have a lot of personal issues and shortcomings going on. He will solve the case but can’t really solve the inter family dynamics. That’s just not really possible and by the time the film ends, most of the characters aren’t even punished for this. Life will go on and they all will just return to their normal lives. Some for the better and some for the worse. It can sometimes be a little anti climactic but that’s how it goes.

Poirot isn’t some kind of hero here. He only solves the case when he’s been hired to do so or it happens right in front of him. Otherwise he really tries to stay out of it and ignore everything shady that it going on. It’s just not really any of his business and that’s how he likes to keep it. He makes for an entertaining character either way though. If anything it’s part of what separates him from the other characters the whole time.

The writing is good either way although the film underestimates the audience a little too much. I thought there were way too many flashbacks to scenes that we had just watched. It felt like the movie added these in case you forgot the moments but it’s not like this is a 5 hour epic. That felt excessive like one lady saying how she never forgets anyone. The flashbacks showing new vantage points to old shots makes sense, like the kid running and our view of what actually happened. The others were not needed.

As always with these things I do have some parts that I have to stretch my disbelief for. Keep in mind that most of this is taking place in a wide open desert. It’s not a very loud environment and everything is out in the open. So when people are being murdered and such, you would usually expect someone to notice. In this case someone got all dressed up and made a move while nobody saw the whole thing. It’s not as egregious as the boat murder from a previous film but it’s definitely something that will have you shaking your head.

As for some of the other characters, you have Raymond who is pretty annoying the whole time. He likes Sarah but keeps getting stopped by his mother. Why doesn’t he just go talk to Sarah anyway? Well, he’s lacking in confidence and she even calls him out on this. It’s such a bad look and it makes it difficult for you to believe in the romance. What would she see in him at that point? None of the romances in this film are particularly convincing but I would say this has to be the weakest one of the lot. It’s all rather fast anyway even without that going on.

Sarah is mainly a solid character but gets a bit too defensive when Poirot is interrogating her. She seems to take offense to the fact that he is calling her a suspect but detective’s rule 101 is that everyone is a suspect. So why is Sarah so upset about all of this? I thought it was rather a poor look for her. Then you have Lady Westholme who is generally upset at everyone and tries to flaunt her power a whole lot. I appreciate the confidence but she would definitely be tiring to be around after a while. She constantly creates a scene so if you’re around then you’re going to be put on the spot by association.

There are a few other characters but that’s the bulk of them. So like I said, there is a going on here with a bunch of characters running around. At times the film gives the interactions more time than the actual mystery. You could almost say the mystery works more as a backdrop at times. That’s why the writing is very important and fortunately it was handled really well so it never gets boring or anything like that. The pacing is on point.

Overall, Appointment with Death goes through all of the motions but with a little less zeal than the other films. Even though the plot is quite intricate, I think it’ll end up being rather forgettable by the end. Still, it’s a pretty good movie even despite this. At the end of the day I tend to enjoy mysteries so even if this one was a little generic and didn’t try to break away from the others, it held my attention. I would say that generally speaking there aren’t a ton of big budget mystery films compared to other genres so you really want to enjoy the ones that you do get. You don’t know how long they’ll be around.

Overall 7/10

Baffled! Review

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Films that involve time travel tend to be the best but films that have some kind of look into the future can also be pretty solid. It’s an ability that can be useful but I imagine in most cases it will just be annoying. After all you generally don’t know how far into the future the visions are and depending on the circumstances, it can be difficult to prove what you know. It’s an ability that you definitely have to navigate carefully and this movie does a good job of keeping things interesting. It’s a bit of a slow burn but with solid enough writing to get you through.

The film starts by introducing us to Tom who is one of the world’s greatest racecar drivers. Unfortunately he crashes out during the race because he started to see some rather odd visions. A lady yelling out some kind of address, a mysterious house, and the ocean. It was all quite bizarre but he is ready to get back into the races. At least he was hoping to do that but a lady named Michelle shows up and it turns out that his visions weren’t just random hallucinations. Something is about to go down in that house/mansion and now he has a duty to help out. So the two decide to form an alliance and head there while pretending not to know each other.

At the mansion, a lady and her daughter have just arrived because her old husband has been writing her. For a long time he was rather cold and distant but over the last few months the letters have really changed. Perhaps they can finally be a family again. Oddly enough, he isn’t there when she arrives. Instead there is just the old lady in a wheelchair who assumes he’ll be coming home soon, an odd couple that may be into drug dealing, and a rather creepy lady who always has a lot of makeup on. It’s a rather colorful bunch you might say. Is this all some kind of elusive trap and can Tom save them all?

In part I would say this plays out as a mystery since Tom is trying to find clues in order to figure out the true meaning of his visions before they come to pass. In other ways it plays out like a classic horror flick with jump scares and all of these creepy characters running around. It’s unlikely you will be scared at any point though with the happy music playing in the background. I could definitely see this being a pretty fun show because the dynamic with the main two is solid enough to carry most of the interactions. Then you’d have different issues in each episode.

Tom’s ability is also just weak enough where it is perfect to keep things from being too easy. For example at one point he sees a leaf, then later on he sees the leaf is leaking, and finally it turns out that it is being poured into a cup so somebody is about to be poisoned. It takes him a while to figure this out and ultimately the knowledge isn’t really able to help much as it’s one mystery he couldn’t solve in time. I figure this will be the case in many instances because the visions are just too vague and not always actionable. Still, he’s ready for the main mystery but he needs a lot of plot armor for it.

For example, at one point he hears someone calling for help so he chases the voice all the way down to the coast where he ends up falling into the ocean and nearly dying. Considering that he had just told Michelle he would be careful, it was definitely not the best decision. He lets his guard down a whole lot considering that he knows something foul is going on here. At least he does show up for the final fight of the film. The battle is actually rather good with a lot of back and forth. I was not expecting a big battle there so that was really a surprise. Definitely an excellent way to end things off.

Meanwhile Michelle gets a lot of credit here because she was super helpful. For starters she is the one who was pro active enough to go after Tom early on and then she did a lot of info gathering during the movie. She felt like a side kick who was truly carrying her own weight and not just being there in awe the whole time. She would also give Tom tips on how to use his abilities which was helpful more than once. It’s another reason why the duo work well together, they each have a part to play and handle their roles well.

As for the characters in this case, I felt the two suspicious people who kept driving off to town were mainly pointless. The big reveal of what they were actually doing is a bit underwhelming. It is fun to see the suspects gradually be taken off the case of course but they definitely could have been a little more relevant. Even the butcher character got more to do than these guys. That guy was also ready to hit Tom over the head with a wine bottle and seriously injure him so even with any twists I can’t exactly call him a good guy.

The daughter is the worst character in the film as she falls for the tricks way too easily. Yes, you have some magical mumbo jumbo going on with the amulet but before even putting that on she was already being naive and meeting with strangers. I don’t care who the guy said he was, you don’t go off by yourself and you definitely run home as soon as anything suspicious happens. Most of the film wouldn’t happen if she wasn’t tricked so easily.

Her mother also looks rather bad the whole time. She lets things get out of control way too easily and doesn’t take things as seriously as she should. The daughter’s 180 personality change is so drastic that it should raise every red flag in the book. I wanted her to do something serious about it. Finally the climax was her worst look as one of the villains basically tells her to sign a document that she is giving away her daughter. Instead of jumping into a rage and hitting anything that moves, the mom just yells “nooooo” and stuff like that. I understand that this is a fight that she couldn’t win, but there is nothing to lose at this point. You try to fight and do your best.

So the characters don’t always make the best decisions here but I did think the film was engaging. It has a bit of an older charm to it as this feels like one of those old school shows. It balances out all of the tones pretty well but at its heart it’s a pretty fun film that knows when to throw in a few jokes without going overboard. It’s got perfect balance all the way through.

Overall, I can recommend this to just about anyone because it feels like the kind of film that can appeal to most groups. It’s got a little bit of everything here and has a satisfying ending. The cliffhanger definitely gets you ready for that hypothetical sequel. The fact that this would have been semi plot based with fighting the same group would have been really cool. Ultimately this will probably always be a more obscure film but it definitely had some real quality to back it up.

Overall 7/10

Angel Face Review

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It’s time for one of those films that has quite a few messy dynamics in it. The main character is certainly not someone that you can root for and in noir titles that is often the case. The real trick is to make the film enjoyable in spite of the protagonist being someone you are rooting against. Fortunately the film is able to pull this off and so that’s why I would say this is a good title. It has a lot of suspense and of course it never hurts to throw in a courtroom scene. I always enjoy seeing those.

The film starts off by introducing us to Frank who is a pretty good ambulance driver. He has bigger dreams but right now this is where he’s at. He has a girlfriend who works with him named Mary but Frank is still not satisfied and as always he heads out to get super drunk and throw a pity party. He happens to see a girl named Diane there who he previously met on a routine house call. Surely this is coincidence that she is at this bar now too right? She doesn’t even need to ask him to lie to his girlfriend because Frank does this right out of the gate. He is intrigued by this mysterious lady and is immediately ready to throw everything away for her. This may be more true than even he suspects as Frank is now thrown into an absolute whirlwind of scandal and controversy. He may live to regret his decision.

So there’s really no reason to feel bad for Frank here. He opened the door to have an affair with Diane right from the start. There was no reason to lie to Mary while he was at the diner and messing around. In fact, since he and Mary clearly had plans, he shouldn’t have been wasting away at the diner in the first place. He should have been getting ready to go home and have a good time with her. The fact that he didn’t shows just how much he took her for granted right from the start. Yeah I was definitely rooting against this guy from the start. Honestly even if it had been a much longer seduction I wouldn’t have had any sympathy for the guy but he really didn’t seem to have any respect for Mary.

Meanwhile Mary was a much better character. I was glad that she was able to see through Diane’s little deceptions and call her out right from the start. Now that was a good scene and Mary also made the right call in not chasing after Frank. Honestly if you find out that your boyfriend is basically getting ready to cheat or has already done so, then it’s just time to cut him out. Now Mary allowing Frank’s friend to be the rebound guy is a bit much though. It feels like this other guy was way too desperate to be with her the whole time. It doesn’t quite sit right with me as Mary is basically settling and this guy doesn’t mind being the second choice. It doesn’t exactly make either of them look all that good.

Finally with Diane, she makes for a reasonable antagonist. She’s clearly a character who is used to getting what she wants. When she doesn’t, heads begin to roll. There is really nothing that would be considered as going too far for her. She’s just going to keep on plunging ahead and it’s also why you don’t feel bad for her either. I wasn’t sympathetic to nearly any character in this film because they all looked bad in one way or the other. I would say my favorite character was her attorney in the end as he was the only one not letting things get personal and he was just ready to cash in his check. Yeah none of those Noir scandals for this guy.

The ending to the film is definitely satisfying after everything that happened. As always Frank looks like an absolute chump but it makes sense. He’s really not ready for what’s going on and I don’t think that he ever will be. This guy lets his guard down constantly and that’s why he’s always getting himself into traps. Then of course we had the long courtroom scene which was really good. It was fun seeing the case being laid out and both sides trying to corner the other. It’s why I always tend to enjoy court scenes in any movie. They’re just well written and this one was no exception. Due in part to the film’s short run time there is also not a whole lot of downtime here. Something’s always happening and you’re never bored.

I guess at most you are typically waiting for the romance scenes to end since you are rooting against it anyway. You know that the whole thing isn’t very organic and can’t possibly end in a positive way. So you’re waiting for the next big event to happen to the characters and the story really doesn’t disappoint you there. Typically I am always an advocate for a film being as long as possible and I still standby the fact that any good film will be even better if it’s longer but I can always appreciate a short title as well. This one had solid pacing throughout so the length worked out well.

Overall, Angel Face is a pretty fun movie. It’s got a good story to it that keeps your attention the whole time and a climax that is quite fitting for the characters. Now you may be wondering how a film filled with so many tragic events could be fun but it’s because you need to think of every character as an antagonist. Then it all works really well. If anything I’d have been upset if the characters escaped this with an outright happy ending because it would not have felt deserved at all. This was the only ending that really fit for such a film and I can definitely recommend this one to anyone looking for a quick title to check out. The runtime is not very long after all.

Overall 7/10

The Mark of Zorro (1974) Review

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It’s time for another Zorro film, the masked hero gets to ride once again! In this case I’m moving backwards a little bit here as I’m used to the newer version. This one still manages to hit all of the right notes though. It’s a pretty fun film overall and while I would not call it the definitive Zorro film, I didn’t really have any big issues with it either. I would say it accomplishes the goals that it set out to do and ultimately makes for a movie that I could basically recommend to anyone. The short run time also means that it always has a very fast pace going on.

The film starts off with Zorro leaving the swordsman academy because he has been receiving some distressing letters about his home. So he heads off to see what’s going on, although I’m not sure exactly who sent those letters or what they were really about. When he gets there, he’s shocked to hear about what people are saying about his father and seems to have no clue on the current state of affairs. So I was a little puzzled by this but either way at least it got him to go on the move. When he sees how the whole area is being overrun by powerfully corrupt officials, he decides to put a stop to this. When in costume as Zorro, he punishes the bullies and shows the weak that they have a chance. When in his human form, he sows discord among the villains and plays up his wimpy personality. It’s the ultimate dual identity.

I always like to see Zorro in his human form because he does a really good job of making sure that absolutely nobody likes him. Well, I suppose the exception would be Quintero’s wife but everyone else finds him just utterly repulsive. The villains don’t take him seriously and his father is supremely disappointed. It definitely goes a long way to showing just how good his acting skills are. It also can’t be easy for Zorro to purposefully be looking this bad but he does this for the long game.

Ultimately his plan is super successful. I’d even go so far as to say it runs so smoothly that you are waiting for something bad to happen. I suppose the priest Zorro was hiding the money with gets beaten up but otherwise the plan pretty much goes without a hitch. Zorro also dispatches the fighter Esteban with relative ease in this one. The guy may have been a fighter but he was definitely not in Zorro’s league. Zorro taking on an entire army and winning with these guerilla tactics is definitely impressive. The movie really gets the tone right for this kind of classic adventure so it’s easy to have a lot of fun with the whole thing. You understand the high stakes from the start but the movie is mostly concerned with having a lot of fun.

A great number of the scenes in this film have something ready to give you a smile after all. The writing is also really good. The script is on point with all of the fun dialogue and veiled threats. It’s the kind of writing that can be hard to match in a future title for the most part but Zorro has really proven to be pretty much timeless so far. His films just do a good job of adapting to the era, or in this case it didn’t even need to adapt as the same story still works pretty well.

I will say Zorro’s father also looks really good here. He may be older but he still jumps in to help his fellow people when things get dire. You understand his disdain for his son since that is the whole point of the ruse. If there was no twist, then of course he would be right to be upset. In the final fights we even see the father take down a few of the enemies so the guy has still got it.

As for the heroine Teresa, I don’t think she gets quite as much to do as in the other films but she still does defend Zorro at the dinner table. That always takes a certain amount of guts and showing up at the end to recruit the heroes was good. She’s at least a good character even though she was always around the main villains. Her mother is not nearly as good though as she’s actively trying to cheat on her husband with whichever guy is around. Definitely not the real loyal type, I can safely say that.

The romance in the film can definitely be a bit on the rushed side though. I don’t think the movie really had any time for that considering that the main plot already needed a good amount of the runtime to cook so if I was the writer I would have cut that out entirely. I suppose with this being planned to turn into a show then you would have had more time but then you could have used those episodes to really build up the plot. At least it’s not like it’s that bad, it just feels out of place since Zorro needs to focus on saving everybody and overthrowing the dictators. That has to be his only real concern. The ending definitely goes in fast to the point where I was thinking the recording was about to cut off but this way you can really say that Zorro was fighting right up to the end.

Overall, The Mark of Zorro is a pretty fun film. It really does fly on by but it never drags on at any point. You are guaranteed to be having a ton of fun throughout and at the end of the day that’s the important thing. I would say he is significantly more interesting than all of his rivals like the Green Hornet for now. Of course all it takes is a really solid film to change that but it’s not as easy as Zorro makes it look. When you try too hard to make a film funny it can backfire and just make you roll your eyes. So you have to handle it carefully and this is easily one of the big titles I would use to show people how to make an effective action/comedy title. Regardless this is a film that I can easily recommend to anyone looking for a fun adventure.

Overall 7/10

NiNoKuni Review

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It’s time to check out one of the movies based on a Level 5 title. It’s always fun to see one of their titles get the big screen treatment. Naturally you can’t ever squeeze a whole RPG into a single movie without losing critical details but it’s still fun to see the attempt. Although in this case they went with an original story so in a way you get to see a pocket size version. It works pretty well even if the film does have some logic issues as it goes on. There is still plenty of action and fun to be had here.

The film start off by introducing us to Haru, Yu, and Kotona. The three of them are good friends and the jaded part of you thinks a love triangle is being primed right away but look, sometimes the characters are all just friends and it works. I clung to that but my hopes were dashed when it turns out that Yu is in love with Kotona despite her being together with Haru already. Yu tries to cope with this as best he can and he already has it tough since his legs don’t work. One day, Kotona is attacked by a mysterious being from another dimension and she gets stabbed. Making matters worse is that Haru panics and the three of them get run over by a truck. Fortunately this was the Isekai truck and Haru/Yu wake up in a whole new world. In this world there is a lady named Princess Astrid who looks just like Kotona and she is plagued by a mysterious curse. Perhaps saving her will help Kotona out?

Okay so this is a pretty nice set up. They actually save the princess from the curse rather easily. A bit too easily to be honest, I know Yu is basically the chosen one here but I wasn’t sure about why he was able to just grab the sword like that. We get some twists near the end but I wouldn’t say they fully answer this. Yu is a solid character throughout though and easily the best one in the film. He knows to hold himself back in the real world and would never let Kotona know what he’s thinking. He fights against his best friend Haru in order to save lives and always makes the right calls.

He does sometimes know a bit too much though like when he decided to jump into the flames because attempting to destroy yourself is one way to travel across worlds. There’s no real way he could have known that and it’s way too risky to try and attempt on purpose. Realistically with most Isekai rules that would not have worked and he would have died. There’s a TV trope for this, I forget the name but basically it’s when an objectively wrong decision has a positive outcome and everyone in context just takes it in stride. There are constant moments like this where characters make massive leaps in logic and jut so happen to be correct.

Another big one is Haru at the end when he somehow figures out the final twist. There’s no way he should have figured that out. In fact, your first guess would be many other theories. We know it’s right just from how the narrative is presented but otherwise I would usually assume that he was completely off base. After all, there were no time/reality issues the way there should have been with how long this twist was in play. So I still have some doubts on the logic and that’s after seeing everything from a cosmic viewer point of view.

Then on the flip side, you have characters making the worst possible assumptions that make no sense. So midway through the film, Kotona gets sick again and so Haru jumps to the conclusion that obviously it’s because the heroes saved Astrid. One massive problem with this though, Astrid and Kotona had both been about to die before. Kotona only lived because they saved Astrid. So the natural conclusion here is that their lives are connected. If Astrid is alive then Kotona is alive and if one dies then the other will die. Somehow Haru twisted this to be the opposite, that only one could be alive. That makes no sense if you stop to think about how any of this works. They already know there are multiple duplicates.

I think the problem here is that this is the main reason why Haru and Yu end up having to fight and it seems forced. Even Haru saying that the world doesn’t matter or that it’s a dream doesn’t really make any sense. That’s just massive amounts of cope from Haru the whole time. I also felt like he just wasn’t a true friend with how quick he was to turn against Yu in the opening scene. There are different moments in the film where he seems jealous of Yu as well. I think this would have been expanded way more in a video game but for the movie there just wasn’t a whole lot of time. Ultimately I would say I just didn’t like Haru here. He gets better by the end but just wasn’t as heroic as you would expect.

While Yu is more likable, I do think he should have lost the fight though. Haru’s armor is said to multiply his strength multiple times over while Yu didn’t seem to be all that strong. Yu was having trouble against grunts while Haru was tossing them through walls. You’d think that difference in power would appear during the battles as well. Ultimately I suppose it was just a skill issue and Yu was the better fighter.

The main villain doesn’t have a whole lot going for him but he’s not bad. I appreciate that we got a good fight with him at the end. The fact that he was taking on all of the heroes at once was impressive. They even had a good formation at one point with Astrid firing projectiles from the back while Haru distracted him up front. The guy was just too strong. The movie has several climaxes and the final fight lasts for a good while so it definitely knew how to end on a solid note.

I also thought the heroines were solid. While Kotona doesn’t get quite as much to do, she seems like a nice person by all accounts and is considerate to Yu. Astrid can actually fight which is great. She’s probably a little too quick to try and throw her life away though like when she tried to convince Yu to murder her. Astrid needed to think this through for a moment and how her kingdom would quickly be branding Yu as a traitor for life. Additionally it’s not like that would help Kotona and the fact that anybody thought that for an instant is still crazy.

There is a little plot armor with how the heroes had to escape from the monster in the human world though. It’s way stronger and faster but sometimes gets hurt by normal objects. I don’t think its power level was very well defined here. Also, couldn’t Haru just jump into that guy’s sword to trigger the teleportation? It seems like he and Yu are functionally immortal due to that system. Although I still wonder exactly how that works. The first time it directly rewrote reality with Kotona never being hit by the car or stabbed, she even lost her memory but a day passed. Then the next time, more time passed but this time the events actually happened. The way time rewrites didn’t seem very consistent.

The animation was reasonably good here. It’s nothing that could compete with the average weekly anime of course but for a movie it’s not bad. I was glad we at least got some quick moving fight scenes and the glowing sword was good. The soundtrack is also decent. It was nostalgic hearing some of the classic tunes from the video games that I’ve played. That always makes for a good time all around.

Overall, This was a pretty good film. I did have a large number of issues with the writing as a whole as some plotlines just didn’t feel very well thought out, nor do the characters. At the end of the day though, it does still hold your interest the whole time which is the important thing. Additionally, the ending is solid in some ways (Mainly Yu’s part) but a bit less satisfying in others. (Never a big fan of amnesia) This is a film I could recommend to anyone as a fun adventure film though and due to how the rules work/don’t work it gives you a lot to think about. It’s the kind of film that leaves a whole lot to be discussed.

Overall 7/10

Fruits Basket: Prelude Review

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It’s time to go back into the world of Fruits Basket. Back in the manga days I was always pretty tough on this one. I remember it being one of my least favorite Shojo titles. The anime helped me like the series more although I would say it still has some key issues that never really went away. This film does a quick abridged version of the movie and then goes into the prequel part. As a result, neither section is quite as long as you might have expected here. It all goes by fairly quick so the pacing is on point. Of course you already know how the story will end so there isn’t a whole lot of suspense in there.

For the recap part, it’s basically the Kyo show as we see him introduced as a lonely kid who was really on his own. Then he met Tohru’s mom Kyoko and finally had someone he could talk to outside of his Dojo master. The two got along well but one day Kyoko was destroyed by incoming traffic and Kyo had the chance to save her but hesitated because of his curse. This curse transforms him into a cat or sometimes a raging monster if he touches a girl and he didn’t want the world to know. I do think if he had more time he would have grabbed her but in the split second he couldn’t react. So this is why he tries to put some distance between him and Tohru.

But this is a romance title so you can probably guess how that went! It’s pretty interesting to see the whole show condensed like this. At the end of the day the core show is about the two of them getting together so this one cuts the fluff and just gets right to it. The way it arranges the scenes can sometimes be a bit odd as it is not trying to be chronological at all. Still it’s not a bad setup. I feel as always that romance dramas are a bit tougher to make elite compared to romance comedies but it works well enough.

Kyo and Tohru just don’ have close to the same level of banter as your average romantic leads. They get a quick minute again at the very end of the film and even there you’re just not ready for a whole show about them. Nothing wrong with their romance, at least from this movie but they just aren’t super interesting. It would really all come down to the main segment.

In the prequel, we see how Kyoko met Katsuya before nature destroyed him. Kyoko was a tough kid who was a super rebel in part due to being around negative influences and her parents not doing a thing to help her. She was in a tough spot at all times. One day the parents have had enough and kick her out and the school is about to do the same when she meets one of the assistant teachers, Katsuya. That begins their romance.

Now the obvious issue from the jump here is there is a fairly big age gap going on. I don’t think the film makes it clear just how big but you can use logical deductions from him being an assistant teacher and her being a student. At the end of the day, my stance has always been that age gaps lower the percentage of the relationship working out and the bigger the gap, the more likely it will fail. I can’t really say I would support this romance at all to be honest and even aside from all that, a teacher and a student is rather messy.

This may sound like it’s my same old speech but it would work so much better as friends. He could just be a nice guy getting her out of a real sticky situation and helping her to appreciate life more. Then after that she would be able to stop being a rebel and really come into her own. That would have been a whole lot better. Well, at the very least he did end up being a nice guy the whole time. He told off her parents who the film shows to be as petty as possible. The fact that they called her just to remind her that she’s disowned after Katsuya died was crazy stuff.

Katsuya dying to a random cold is pretty effective since it makes the whole thing more sudden. What I would have liked to have seen more of was Kyoko once she was happy again though. We know from Tohru’s memories that they had a lot of good times before she passed on but we don’t get to see almost any of them. Instead it’s mostly about how depressed she was for a while there and then the film starts to wrap up. It’s as if the happy moments always have to go on a speed run to the next tragedy to occur.

In a way that’s the Fruits Basket way though. It felt like bad things were constantly happening to the characters and they couldn’t really escape their fate. As soon as they began to move forward and make a difference, something would happen like clockwork. The series could be quite unrelenting like that.

The animation is reasonably good. There’s not really anything for it to show off though so it’s a bit hard to say. I thought the motorcycles looked really sleek the whole time though so that was cool. Meanwhile the soundtrack is more on the subdued side. I can’t think of any tunes that super stuck out here.

At the end of the day, this is more of a low key story that has to stand on its own without many technical elements to help it out. It’s not bad but I also wouldn’t say it’s all that good. There really isn’t any replay value and the best parts are the ones being recapped from the show so you just want to go through that anime again. Yuki for example has some of the best scenes here like when he really takes it to Kyo. You sort of wish he would have been in more of the movie. If you want a lot of drama then this is the film for you but it doesn’t always leave a lot of room for fun.

Overall, Fruits Basket: Prelude is definitely very dramatic. It’s absolutely got the kind of tone that you would think about you picture the series. This doesn’t always work in its favor though. I feel like this movie doesn’t have much of a hook since a lot of it is old footage and as a result the prequel origin doesn’t have a whole lot of time to itself. We could have used the extra time to show the main characters hanging out and having some good times. It could have been more of a break from how everything would always go wrong for Kyoko in the end. So this is an interesting film but unless you are a mega Fruits Basket fan, you can probably skip this one.

Overall 5/10

They All Laughed Review

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It’s time for one of those films that is just hard to watch with how bad everyone is. The writing is not particularly good and all of the characters are downright awful. Mix that in with the fact that the film is fairly long and you have a recipe for disaster. It’s the kind of film that makes you shake your head the whole time because it had no idea what it was doing. This was an absolute mistake of massive proportions. Very unfortunate stuff.

Okay so the film is about a detective agency where they spy on women to find out if they are having affairs or not. There are 3 main field agents here and they each have different talents. They have two ongoing missions right now so they have to keep running around the city to keep track of both women. The problem is that these guys have the willpower of a baked potato and they are no strangers to having loads of affairs as well. With everyone in the city hopping from one person to the next, this is about to get complicated.

The movie plays out like a crazy delusion that someone who is jaded with big city life might have. Someone who figures that in the city, people are hopping from relationship to relationship the way one might might go pizza hopping from place to place. Nobody is trust worthy and they’re all messing round behind each other’s backs yet they also gossip with everyone. So as a result it’s all real convoluted but the simple part is seeing just how bad everyone is. Even the end of the movie has some twisted morals going on.

So right from the gate I can tell you this is an awful film. It will have the occasional funny moment but almost all of its attempts at humor just end up falling flat. Makes me shake my head just thinking about it. For example, Charles is the main character here and you’re supposed to in part feel bad for him when everything’s going badly. He’s constantly in tricky situations but since he’s such a bad guy you’re just rooting against him instead. Instead of the scenes being funny, you’re hoping that he does get hit by the car, that he does get caught so the girl will run off, etc.

Lets take a step back here, cheating is and always has been one of the greatest taboos. For the average person it should typically rank in the top 5, only losing to the most disturbing and evil of crimes. In any situation where there is cheating going on, the person most at fault is the one who is married since that person is the one who made the vow. Closely behind is the other party for still weakening the married person in order to have the affair. The only exception is naturally if that person was deceived into thinking they’re having fun with someone who is single.

So in the main relationship, Charles is less at fault than Dolores but it’s by a very negligible amount. You can tell that there is no loyalty here from either side. Once they are together, Dolores will cheat on him with the next guy and he’ll cheat with her on someone else. That’s just how the cycle is. Especially since Charles is easy to boss around like the singer who had her way with him. This guy can never appreciate the moment and is always looking beyond. It’s easy to see why things have never gone well for him.

Then you have Arthur who has the most confidence but as a result he’s been with the most ladies. He just flies on through all of them and never stops. Definitely not someone that you would want to even be friends with since he would be such a bad example. Fortunately for him, nobody in the city really cares and they all run to be the next in line to be chumped. Sure they get upset afterwards but it’s too late.

Then you have John who falls for Angela during his assignment. It’s basically just like with Charles. He’s only making matters worse and putting his feelings ahead of the mission. Things don’t go very well as you’d expect and the only outcome is that they are both super tainted now. It’s all just a real messy affair and again it makes the big problem here the fact that nobody is likable. Everyone has their moments and all they succeed in doing is dragging the other characters down with them.

In general it’s probably going to be hard to really make any good films about a group that tests out if a husband/wife is cheating. In most cases it’s probably going to happen where the main character falls for one of them. That’s just the easiest way to make a long dramatic story about the subject. After all you’re likely going to need some kind of conflict and peacefully finding out that cheating is or is not going on is a harder story to tell. I’d like to see a writer try and do this justice but it feels like a longshot.

It would have been nice to have at least had one character stay strong but that never happens. Even the cab driver gets involved as well as the secretary. Yeah these are all the kinds of characters where if you saw them on the street you’d want to go the opposite way. No matter how much you may want to think that you are the exception and this time the relationship is real, it’s not. So don’t even fall for that! It’s a massive trap, the trap of all traps you could say. Even within the movie the characters are starting to think this is legit by the end but we all know the truth. It is absolutely game over instead. Hey that’s just how it goes sometimes.

Overall, Like I said this is a tough film to watch because you’re basically just watching a bunch of antagonists messing with each other the whole time. The writing itself is also super suspect at best. The characters have a awkward way of talking where they have to constantly use full names or last names instead of the first one. One character in particular does this as her quirk and then other characters like John talk exclusively in 2 word mini sentences. You wonder why the characters are all so annoying before you stop caring. At the end of the day this is the kind of drama film that goes for a lot of cheap low hanging fruit to try and keep you interested but fails in the attempt. You could find better drama films in the 1 dollar aisle at Blockbuster.

Overall 2/10

Escape from L.A. Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for the big sequel to the New York film. This one ends up falling into the trap of basically copying most of the story beats but not being able to do them as well as the first film. The only advantage I would probably give this film is the ending which was definitely real fun. Beyond that, this is still a good movie and so if you liked the original you will want to check it out as well. It just isn’t able to escape the shadow of the first movie.

The film starts with a massive Earthquake separating Los Angeles from the rest of the United States. A presidential candidate predicted this would happen and so he got enough momentum to become the president. He quickly changes the country into a dictatorship and has absolute power. All people who break the laws or engage in taboos are deported to LA. America is now only a place for the virtuous. Unfortunately for him, the president’s daughter Utopia ended ends up hijacking the plane and crash landing in L.A. They’d leave her for dead but if she isn’t found quickly, a failsafe will activate that will activate the USA’s secret weapon and doom the country. They are forced to send in Snake one more time. Can he really save the day like last time?

You might be wondering, why would he possibly accept the mission again. Wasn’t he supposed to have a full pardon anyway? Well, a new president means new rules so he is back to square 1. Additionally they’ve put a virus inside of him so Snake has to save the day or die. He doesn’t exactly have a whole lot of way to say no to this. Snake tries some things like shooting the people who gave him the mission but of course they loaded the gun with blanks. So Snake has to really just fend for himself as always. He has to check a bigger area with less time than the first film so you can tell they are trying to dial up the stakes as much as possible.

Where the film does well is in keeping the Snake hype. He still looks strong and resourceful as always. You can’t really keep the guy down and I like his confidence. Snake probably dispatches people with even greater ease than normal here like when he used his gun on someone who had a knife. The film enjoyed throwing in some humor here and there to balance things out. The fights are fun and the landscape is pretty good. I don’t think it’s nearly as scenic as the destroyed New York from the first film though.

Now the humor can be a mixed bag at times. I don’t think the film is always as funny as it thinks it is. Snake messing everyone over can always be solid of course. I liked him just overwhelming opponents as he lets out the occasional one liner. The random surfing scene with this guy as Snake caught up to the villain was a bit more on the nose. I can appreciate the absurdity of it all but it still wasn’t exactly the film’s best moment. It just didn’t make much sense.

Then the film also starts to weaken the president a little too much by the end. I like the idea of a President who is super corrupt but talks a tough game the whole time. This guy was completely insane and that’s what makes him dangerous but by the end of the film, it was trying to show him as more of a low confidence individual who backs down when the going gets tough. I don’t know how the army could talk so tough to him the whole time. I would have preferred he stay in control the whole time until the end and then catches the L. Making him into more of a comedic figure by the end felt like it weakened the inevitable confrontation.

Still, the movie’s ending was really solid like I mentioned before. It makes sense as a way for Snake to really get the drop on everyone. It was also a good call back to the way the villains messed with him early on. Snake never forgets after all and he managed to stay a few steps ahead the whole time. It’s good that he was a solid lead character though because otherwise the cast was rather weak here. For starters we have Utopia as the president’s daughter who seems incredibly naive. She fell in love with a terrorist who would visit her during her VR dreams.

It’s just hard to see how she could possibly fall for this. You should already have so many red flags popping up when some guy shows up and allowing herself to be brainwashed so thoroughly is rough. By the time she finally starts to come around, it’s just way too late. The main villain Cuevo isn’t much better. He gets tricked a lot and his only impressive moment is when he took down Snake early on. Beyond that, he should have taken out his right hand man Eddie a lot sooner to have kept himself safe. Letting that guy stick around really came back to bite him.

Speaking of Eddie, he’s one of those villains who is pretty annoying the whole time. He is an opportunist so he goes with whoever has the best chance of winning. Don’t mistake his actions near the end for him being a hero, he’s just doing what he always does there. The supporting cast was definitely not doing anything to enhance the movie, I can tell you that much. So Snake had to carry it all alone and while he does pull this off, it’s another reason why it can’t match the first film.

This film isn’t super violent/disturbing for the most part but the plastic surgery place was definitely the most intense. It definitely shows you a rather grim look at what the future could be like if people get too hooked on the stuff. Of course the characters who live there are too brainwashed to do anything about this. There’s one girl who tries to convince Snake that it’s actually not so bad and in a way they are the true free people. Her words are punctuated by a quick gun shot that finishes her off. I dare say that was one of the funnier scenes in the film as they tried to show just how delusional she was.

Overall, Escape from L.A. is a good movie. It definitely could have been better though with a stronger script and a better cast. With the blend of serious moments and comedic type shots they also could have hit a better balance. By the end of the film you start to think that the crazy president may have had a good point. We don’t actually see any innocent people in L.A. as they all seem like total criminals. Yeah maybe the good ones were taken out early but America seems to be in a good spot. There probably should have been a little screentime to show the downsides of this policy of kicking out all the criminals or something like that.

Overall 6/10