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Rambo: Last Blood Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

If you walked up to me and told me that Rambo: Last Blood was gonna be a terrible film…I would have just nodded. I don’t think it’s particularly surprising that the film didn’t go well. When a thriller series goes on for too long it gets tempted to throw in a bunch of tragedy and call it a day. A cheap revenge thriller will always cost a film a lot of points and this one just feels hollow by the end of its run. Too much damage had already been done.

The film starts off with Rambo trying to live an ordinary life. He lives fairly isolated on a mountain with a nice lady and her grand daughter. Unfortunately the girl really wants to meet the father who ditched her as a child. Doesn’t seem like the best thing to do and Rambo warns her against this. Her father wasn’t a good man and he lives in a very shady part of Mexico. Just going over there is courting death. The girl doesn’t care and heads over but things don’t go well and she goes. Now Rambo is on a big revenge tour to destroy all of the people responsible for what happened to her. Can even Rambo take on an entire army though?

Rambo gets a lot of hype in these films and he is tough but the guy definitely bought into his own hype here. He shows up at the villain’s base without any plan and gets absolutely dominated. He doesn’t even put up any kind of fight and it’s definitely one of the more embarrassing showings for a guy like this. At least later on he gets some prep time and pulls off some Home Alone tactics. It takes a long while to get to that point though. One of the big problems with the film is it feels like the whole first half is just to set the tone and show how messed up everything is.

The fights don’t really start until the climax when it’s Rambo against everybody. That part is certainly fun although the film definitely does go out of its way to be as graphic as possible. Each death tends to be like something out of a slasher type film as the characters are all ripped to pieces. The film makes sure to remind you how evil they all are first so you don’t feel bad for them but the film definitely could have handled itself in a less extreme manner. This whole film is going for the extreme angle and so of course it’s just not a particularly fun watch.

The granddaughter makes a ton of terrible mistakes and isn’t particularly smart but you still don’t want to see her going through so many trials. The movie is just way over the top mean spirited throughout so you don’t even get a breather. There is virtually no characters around so there isn’t even any chance for banter. I mean the film’s overall tone might have made that impossible anyway but with only Rambo around there just isn’t much for the film to do. He goes around murdering everyone and that’s it.

To fix the film, you’d need to completely rewrite the plot. Remove the first half and definitely tone down all of the violence throughout the movie. You definitely don’t need any of that. Maybe have at least one villain with actual goals and aspirations beyond just being super evil. I don’t need a sob story and I definitely don’t need a full subplot but maybe something about money or power. He’s basically just trying to spite Rambo by the midpoint which isn’t even a real goal. He’s just doing whatever he wants without even thinking it through. Not the most interesting kind of villains here. They just exist to die.

Also you do have to suspend a good amount of disbelief for Rambo taking everyone out. Yeah he is legendary and everything but he takes out dozens and dozens of fighters while running through the tunnels. everything had to go perfectly for him in order for this to work like them going through specific entrances and always triggering the traps on time. It’s a thriller so this kind of thing is definitely to be expected but it also means that the fight scenes aren’t as good as they could have been. Mainly there aren’t fights as it’s just the villains getting murdered by traps.

At no point do you feel like the film even has a real purpose here. It’s just going through the motions and then it’s not even doing that right with how long it takes for the fights to start. I’d say that the film was disappointing but for the most part it’s not like I went into it with any high hopes anyway. Just about everyone agrees that the film is pretty weak so this wasn’t a surprise. The film just ended up living up to its own hype and in this case that was a bad thing.

I think it’s fair to say that it is time for the Rambo series to end. There’s just not much more to do with it by this point. He’s already lost so many people and he’s also really old by this point. You can only have so many Rambo hype moments. After all, that’s why most of this film has him with homefield advantage picking the villains off. in a straight fight there would just be too many of them.

Overall, Rambo: Last Blood is definitely not my kind of film. If you want a super edgy, grim dark title then check this one out but otherwise you should stay far away. It’s one thing to make a darker film where things don’t always go well but this one goes too extremely in the other direction. Nothing goes well and the heroes just keep on getting farther and farther away. You have a reporter around who lost someone to the gangs but if you take her out of the movie then virtually nothing changes. I still find it hard to understand why you would even want to try and find a parent who ditched you, seems like that will end poorly 99 times out of 100. Meanwhile the cops are corrupt and while Rambo is saving people related to this immediate danger, it seems like this is a huge syndicate. It just paints a very bleak picture of life for everyone involved. At least I can appreciate that Rambo does not have a no kill rule since that would have made the situation even more difficult.

Overall 1/10

Rambo III Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right, we’ve made it to the end of the Rambo trilogy. The wheels are starting to fall off on this one. It’s actually still considerably better than the 4th film but that’s fairly easy. The sad part is that it easily has the best introduction out of any of the Rambo films. Rambo himself has finally found happiness. He’s an underground brawler who uses his skills in a non murderous way and has a humble living for himself. He uses the money to help out the locals and is a part of something bigger than himself. Naturally the government has to come and ruin that.

So basically Sam and the government show up to ask Rambo for his help once more. He wisely says no so they go without him and are quickly defeated. So Sam is captured and surprise….the enemies start torturing him. We all saw this coming already because this is Rambo and that’s how they set the stakes up really high. So the rest of the government shows up to ask Rambo to help and now it’s personal since Sam is his friend and Rambo takes up the call. Does he still have the skills to save the day?

The answer to that one is an easy yes. Rambo has always been a top notch fighter and that’s not stopping now. It is always good to see Rambo fighting and doing well of course but it’s just a shame that he can’t be allowed to ever have a good time for long. Sure you wouldn’t have a movie at that point with the same plot at least but throw in a multi year time skip like he was having fun for 5-10 years before they called him back.

One thing you will notice early on is that the pacing is incredibly slow though. While Sam is being tortured for the entire film in the B plot, Rambo spends the first 40 minutes actually getting to the conflict. First he has to trek through the desert, then he has to find the rebels, then they all get blown up, then he actually begins to fight. o the movie that you are here to watch about Rambo taking everyone out doesn’t happen until we’re roughly halfway through the film. That is an absolutely massive investment to make into the film.

It doesn’t help that the setting isn’t really my style either. In the desert it’s pretty much nonstop sand the whole time. It makes sense narratively as most of the war torn areas will naturally start to look the same but as a viewer I’d rather we’re in the big cities already. But yes back to the film, Rambo has to also play some local games before he can head out. It helps him bond with everyone but you also can’t help but feel like this was wasting a ton of time that allowed the villains to come in and take them down.

It’s not like you can live in fear or anything but you are in the middle of a war with enemies actively approaching so maybe now isn’t the best time for a game. The worst part is that apparently the game is really dangerous and it’s easy to get injured. Yeah this sounds worse and worse the more I talk about it. It makes no sense except as an excuse to have a big action set piece.

As always we do have Sam being the hype guy for Rambo which is nice but since he is captured the whole time it doesn’t help a whole lot. So if you’re hear for the hype then the first film does better. If you’re here for the action then the second film is more unrelenting. So this is just a weaker version. There’s also this kid who wants to help Rambo the whole time and it’s wholesome and all but he should be far away from the front lines here. Rambo does try to get rid of him as soon as possible though so props to him for that.

What I can say for the film as a positive is that the drop off isn’t dramatic. While it sounds bad compared to the first two films, it’s not like this is suddenly a 2 star film. It can be a little more boring but at least those scenes are moments where you don’t have to worry about a lot of violence or people being tortured so that’s a positive. Being boring isn’t great and that sounds like an insult in its own way but sometimes it can beat the alternative.

The action scenes do hold up well and the same is true of the special effects. The opening fight is the best part of the film like I mentioned before. It was a good way to re-introduce Rambo and show us how skilled he is. Considering how well trained he is and his athletics it would be nice to see him doing more activities like that outside of always being in a war zone. Maybe make him an instructor as a main plot at some point. Just anything but throwing him into another war torn battlefield. Styling on the enemy soldiers every time is great and all but surely you need some variety.

Overall, Rambo III is the start of the real decline for the series but we’re not at the bottom yet. I do think the series goes too far in establishing the stakes, relying on the same tools all the time but at least we do still have a great main character. The fights and action scenes are solid and when the film is going full blast it’s on point. It just tends to get sidelined the whole time. So if you like Rambo a lot then you should check it out but otherwise if you just liked the intro fight then you should watch Rocky to get the full film like that.

Overall 4/10

Rambo: First Blood Part II Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

We’re back to the world of Rambo. This time he’s on the offensive, ready to take down a whole squad of fighters. It’s nice to see him actually get to take on some villains this time and embrace the action setting where he can go all out but at the same time…this is still Rambo. So you can expect a heavy dose of violence the whole time with a pretty high body count. I would end up enjoying it more than the Rambo movies that would follow but it’s not exactly a high bar.

The film starts off by showing us that Rambo has been rotting away in a manual labor prison while Sam explains that he is still trying to help but it’ll take some time. There is a mission that Rambo can take on where he will be able to get a full pardon though. Yes this isn’t blackmail in the slightest! It’s purely a recon mission, Rambo needs to take photos to prove that there are prisoners of war over in Vietnam and then he has to get out. There will be no combat or anything like that.

Naturally this isn’t quite what happens. He ends up being thrown into a big fight and then betrayed by the rest of the unit. To Sam’s defense, he’s not the traitor here but he was played by the actual traitors which is almost as bad. This whole mission was basically a scam because the battle must go on and so Rambo is a casualty of war. The army is basically corrupt to the core in this film with Sam being the only decent member aboard.

This is one of those films where the corruption quickly gets very annoying though. Sam is muzzled very quickly despite being a fairly high ranking official in the first film. Yeah there’s always someone higher ranked but you still feel like he should have been able to do a whole lot more. Otherwise, what was really the point of getting such a high rank in the first place? Making him look helpless like this is just not a good look in the slightest. He ultimately comes through but it takes so long the whole time.

He’s still Rambo’s hype man but it would be nice if he could do a little more. Additionally I feel like the traitors get off rather easy here. Yeah someone gets hit but they do the whole “Don’t murder these guys or you’ll be just as bad!” which is always a bit on the iffy side. Especially in a down to Earth film like this because what that means is he can survive to mess more people over.

Sure we could assume he will go to jail and everything but if the corruption is this deep then that appears to be very unlikely. The fact that they were actively working with the soviets is just rough. Out of all the countries to be working with, that just looks incredibly bad.

Meanwhile on the ground front, Rambo does well as you would expect. Even by himself and incredibly outnumbered he takes down tons of soldiers and accomplishes his mission. He really never backs down and his training has really taken him a long way. Rambo makes for a good main character without a doubt and holds his own with any other action star.

The main heroine Co is also rather solid here. Things don’t go great for her which is pretty unfortunate though. She deserved a better ending. Ultimately in these films most of the characters don’t really get to last to the end outside of Rambo but this could have been a good exception. Additionally there are easy ways to write her out if you didn’t want her to be around for the sequel.

Rambo’s torture scene goes on for quite a bit as you would probably guess from the films. It’s basically not a Rambo film if that doesn’t happen to someone at least once. These films really feel like everyone’s worst nightmare about being caught in enemy territory. Your allies have abandoned you and you have no real chance of escaping. You’re definitely ready for his big escape and revenge montage of course but it’s a long road to get there. It’s the big weakness of the revenge thriller stories because you have to go through a lot to actually get to that point.

The villains are fairly generic. I thought that the villains in the first film left a lot more of an impact. The biggest villain here was probably the main army guy who was the lead traitor but of course he got off easy like I said earlier which was annoying. The real losers out of this were the other prisoners who were stuck in Vietnam. At least Rambo worked to save as many as possible but it all depends on how much you trust the government after this.

That’s why Sam should have been able to do more since it would have given you more hope in that guy. He should have at least have been allowed to bump off the main traitor villain because that would have given you a reason to think things were turning around. Hopefully he gets a better role in the third film…..

Overall, Rambo 2 really plays out like you would expect so I wouldn’t say that it’s misleading or anything. They double up on everything that made the original well remembered. There’s more action in this one, more revenge, and more thrills. Of course that also means the negatives stick around with it as well. Sometimes the trials the characters go through just overpower the positives and that’s the case here. Yes it will keep you engaged but there are enough violent moments that it’s not exactly a film you would really plan on rewatching. So ultimately I’m still saying to stick with the Rocky series over Rambo.

Overall 4/10

First Blood Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time to look at where it all started for Rambo. The guy’s definitely had to endure a whole lot over the years. It’s a bit more of a low key film than the sequels since it’s more about survival than nonstop fighting though. It can be a bit mean spirited though and some of the villains get off rather easy. Ultimately you can do a bit better for thriller films.

The film starts with Rambo approaching a small town. He finished a really tough tour in Vietnam and isn’t looking for any trouble as he passes through but unfortunately trouble finds him. Sheriff Will doesn’t take kindly to strangers and immediately gets aggressive. His corrupt deputies take sadistic pleasure in messing with Rambo as well to the point where they’re basically torturing him. Rambo tries to de-escalate things as much as possible but finally reaches his breaking point and tries to get out of there. He is still chased and in self defense fights back, which causes one of them to die. Will now vows to destroy Rambo no matter what and so Rambo will have to use his army training to take them down. The hunted has now become the hunter.

One thing I can say without the shadow of a doubt is that the premise is really good. A bunch of punks have basically picked a fight with someone who is far superior to them in every measurable ability. Rambo has actually been through a bunch of difficult situations and lived to tell about it. He’s had to hone his body and mind to their absolute peak in order to survive while these guys have likely never had to deal with a fraction of what he had to go through. Their attitudes aren’t justified in the slightest and they’re basically villains who have gotten ahold of some power. They’re lucky Rambo was as restrained as he was.

Throughout the movie he continues to take them down using non lethal means. I don’t think most characters would have been able to hold themselves back so much at that point. He does unfortunately take down the police dogs, rats, and other animals throughout the movie. There are enough scenes with animal violence that definitely take their toll on the film. Of course it’s self defense so you don’t blame Rambo himself but the film could have written its way around that too. The dogs are really paying for their corrupt owners.

In a way the film wants to keep from portraying Rambo as being too vindictive here but it’s part of what hurts the ending here. The whole cracking scene and speech at the end is intense but it feels like Rambo got the short end of the stick here. I do think that the sheriff and all of the main deputies needed to die by the end. At least show us some definitive punishment like they’re all locked up. It just seems like they got off easy even if many of them were seriously injured by the end, the death count wasn’t as big as you’d expect it to be.

It also takes away from the premise a little bit. In theory this is like a human predator movie with Rambo being so dangerous that he can take out a whole squad of men equipped with guns. You want to see him utterly dismantle the whole group but as a result there just isn’t a whole lot of time for that. I guess in a way we dodge some extra violence that way although the film is definitely still rather violent. Every quick cutaway to the Vietnam flashbacks is always intense after all and the injuries in the present are no picnic either.

You do feel the tension throughout the movie though as Rambo knows that making one mistake will mean his end. He has to play this absolutely perfect especially since he doesn’t want to murder anyone. He’s a good guy and the film certainly makes that clear. Will and the others are such over the top villains that you’re just rooting for them to lose. The best character in the film has to be Colonel Sam though. He works as Rambo’s hype man and the hype absolutely never stops. In every scene he is talking about how Rambo is on a completely different level and nobody can match him. It’s really quite impressive.

Again, this might be a case of the film not being able to live up to the hype there though as the way he hypes Rambo up, you’d expect him to take out a whole army. He still has a lot of difficulty here thanks to the self imposed restrictions and nearly gets murdered in the tunnel. I dunno, I guess I wanted more absolute domination after all of the speeches. It was always annoying whenever Rambo would lose ground. I did think Sam did not do a good job when he agreed to help Will and the others. He should have absolutely stuck to the “Get yourselves out of this problem” approach when they were being so unreasonable.

Ultimately Sam is good at his job and helps to de-escalate things but he could have just let Rambo go ham on everyone. By the end, the whole town was paying the price so you can see why he stepped in though. Either way this made for a good introduction and you can see how the studio would quickly want to make sequels soon. There’s a whole lot of ways you can progress from this initial plot although they never tackle the hunted theme again. Going forward you’re really going to see Rambo taking the offensive and destroying everything in his way.

Overall, First Blood was a reasonable way to start the series but is bogged down by the violence in general and also the animal violence. The lackluster ending/resolution for the villains also hurts. I get that they were law enforcement here but they were all super corrupt to the point of being gangsters so I don’t see any reason not to have them all bumped off. It’s a bit of a frustrating situation to be sure there. Well, at least it’s not like Rambo died or anything. Now that would have been an absolutely devastating ending.

Overall 4/10

Rambo Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version of the movie would be more negative.

Lets look at the 4th Rambo which just so happens to be the weakest one in the series so far. It’s definitely going for a dark angle right from the jump and that aspect of the film is quite unrelenting. It takes a long while until Rambo himself gets involved to fight back and it’s one of those films where even once the heroes win, there are a ton of casualties and you know there are other villains running around. There’s nothing particularly light hearted/happy about this movie which is rough.

The movie starts with a quick introduction to remind us just how evil the villains are. No worries they’re going to do this a whole lot as the film goes over but it’s definitely an awful way to kick the movie off in general. Instead of building up hype or getting you excited it is giving you reasons to want to avoid the film. Like why would I want to be seeing any of this? Well, we eventually cut to Rambo himself who now works by capturing snakes and putting them in the cages to get ready for animal cruelty fights. He is approached by a group of missionaries who want to head deep into enemy territory to spread the good word.

It’s a noble goal but unfortunately these characters are incredibly naive. The main pastor even believes that you cannot take a life even in self defense so when they are attacked by pirates he doesn’t do anything about it. He even threatens to get Rambo in trouble if he can. Needless to say, after Rambo drops them off at their designated location they are captured almost immediately. So much for that eh? Of course you feel bad for them, they’re just written to be such unlikable characters the whole time that it’s crazy. So the Church hires some vigilantes to go save them and Rambo decides to come along and do what he can. Are the missionaries even still alive by this point?

Well, only the power of plot armor is able to help them here because by all accounts they really should have been long dead. I’m not sure why the villains spared them for so long. They’re stuck in cages but mostly everyone else had already been murdered. I suppose they had the luck of the draw on that one. Not much of a consolation because their living conditions still sucked but at least they were able to last. Nobody else is so lucky so even while the heroes are heading over there to free them, we see countless people getting tortured and murdered. The film is going for maximum shock value the whole time so if you can picture a dark plot element then you are going to find it in the film.

Naturally all of the vigilantes tend to be rather crass and not very heroic at all. They are here for the paycheck and are happy to murder anybody but they don’t have any real kind of honor code. Rambo has to actively threaten the main one in order to keep him going or the guy would have left almost immediately. Rambo himself looks good at least. He does smash up a ton of the villains and shows why he is still one of the strongest agents around. He hasn’t forgotten his skills at all, that’s for sure. He’s on a completely different level even from the trained mercenaries.

The action scenes can be good when they aren’t being too try hard on the violence. When they do that is when they really start to lose the plot. Lets just say this is a regular occurrence in this film as well. The film is plenty violent the whole time even with the TV edits. So again the film is just trying too hard instead of letting the narrative talk for it. The problem there is that the actual plot isn’t very good either. Of course I have a lot of respect for people who go into these active war areas to spread the gospel and try to help out. It does feel like they’re creating more chances to become a hostage or get into trouble but if they can save anyone then it’s a win.

It doesn’t make for a great movie though. Even if you think of this like a power fantasy, the problem is that the first half is all about the villains dominating and having their way with the heroes. In no way is this a particularly captivating story and you want a film that’s fairly uplifting. Seeing Rambo beat up on the villains is the goal so you need to do that sooner. Focus more on the heroic comeback than on the villain slaughter to start things off. As a starting point you at least need to get rid of the opening montage showing off all of the villainous exploits.

Honestly the film has so may issues that it would still have gotten a fairly low score though. The Rambo series is just cooked at this point and it will be hard for it to make a true comeback. We unfortunately didn’t have the usual hype man for Rambo either. There are reasons for that but they should have invented a new character to take up the role. It may be a little cheesy but I always thought it was pretty fun and it made the films more memorable. Perhaps that aided in making this the worst Rambo title. There is still another one I haven’t watched so perhaps that will be even lower but we will have to see.

Overall, Rambo is a pretty awful film. It’s definitely over the top violent the whole time with a ton of dark themes and the film doesn’t allow itself to really have any fun moments. It’s a slog to get through and you can see why Rambo didn’t even want to get involved at this point. The amount of casualties and criminals appear to be endless so why even get involved in all of that if you don’t have to right? You absolutely get what he is feeling in all of this. So you should just skip this movie as well. It’s rather unnecessary and doesn’t really add anything to the series.

Overall 1/10