Tag Archives: Thriller

The Lone Ranger and the Lost City of Gold Review

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This may just be the film that I have to use going forward as an example of a very standard adventure film. The Lone Ranger is typically a fairly basic hero I suppose but even considering that, this is such a short movie that there isn’t a whole lot of time for a more advanced plot. You have a gang and the Ranger stops them but it’s all very by the numbers. It’s a fun movie to be sure but it’s one that doesn’t have a “hook” which means that it might be tougher to explain to people why they should watch it.

The movie starts with the Lone Ranger’s intro as the theme song plays and then we get to today’s adventure. Some Indians have been getting murdered and their amulets are being taken. The fact that they are being murdered isn’t surprising as the townsfolk can’t stand them but what is this odd connection? Well, the Lone Ranger and his pal Tonto are going to find out. They get the town doctor to help them out in treating some of the injured and along the way it looks like the town may be at the heart of the trouble.

This isn’t really meant to be a complete mystery kind of film so it’s pretty clear at least who some of the villains are. The movie doesn’t make the Ranger or Tonto look very smart at times though. First off in an early scene the Ranger sends Tonto for the doctor. So he walks into the local bar and is greeted with a whole lot of antagonistic characters who all but say that they want to beat him up. So Tonto…turns his back to them and is promptly beaten up. They probably would have murdered him if the doctor hadn’t gone downstairs. It’s a really bad look though because it’s as if Tonto had no survival sense.

It should be obvious not to give your back to the opponents right? I don’t blame him for losing the fight because he was outnumbered but the fact that it basically wasn’t even a fight is what looks bad here. Also I would have liked for the Ranger to do something about this. Yeah I know he’s not an eye for an eye kind of guy but it’s always annoying when the heroes just have to take the high road here. In most ways it is good of course but this is pushing it. It’s one area where Zorro has the edge since that vigilante doesn’t mind mixing things up a bit. The Lone Ranger at least tries to stay the hero through and through the whole time.

There is a fairly big subplot that at times threatens to replace the main one though. So the doctor is a well respected member of the community. He’s the only one who treats the natives well but generally the towngoers look the other way since they need a doctor. Well, the twist is that the doctor is also an Indian and he has hid his upbringing all these years so that he can continue his work. The logic is sound, he knows that if the town finds out his true lineage then he will likely be murdered in quick order. The Indians would then be left on their own with nobody to help them and would likely all be crushed.

The one losing out here is his girlfriend as a result and it’s a big loss. So she keeps trying to get him to reveal the truth and even says that she will leave afterwards. It’s all very dramatic but I do wish she could have been a bit more understanding here. The doctor also could have probably worked out a better deal or at least agreed to talk things out with her more. It’s not a perfect situation for either end but the “solution” of just exposing himself seemed really flawed to me. The film takes a fairly optimistic view at the end but you could also picture the Ranger and Tonto leaving…then the villains taking the doctor out. I mean hopefully they’ve all learned a valuable lesson with the most radicals gone but it’s still really risky.

In a way that plot was more interesting than the main one anyway. Yeah the amulets are relating to some gold and silver but it’s all pretty standard western stuff. The Ranger is also not the most powerful guy so generally when he’s up against the group, he’ll take one guy down and then call it a day. A lot of the film is really hit and run tactics as they slowly defeat more and more of the gang. I can’t call the film a slow burn at all because it’s not but sometimes you do hope that he can just take the whole gang down already.

The fight scenes we get are pretty fun though. There is quite a bit of hand to hand going on and the villains can typically fight on a pretty close level to the Ranger. So you’re never quite sure if the hero will win or not. He also has to try and keep them alive instead of accidentally letting them fall off a cliff which is surprisingly a lot harder than it sounds. Even just thinking about that stuff in the back of his head will naturally slow the Ranger’s thought processes down a bit.

Overall, I would have liked the film to have taken a few more risks here. Lets actually have the City of Gold running around and maybe even delve into the supernatural. It’s not like that is a foreign concept considering the Ranger’s origin right? Instead we have what I would call one of the more generic westerns. Nothing really wrong with it as it’s too short to ever get boring but I just don’t know how I would present this film to folks. I guess the best way is just to go to the basic route of recommending it so the people can see the Lone Ranger. It’s not as if he has a ton of films after all so fans will want to check them all out.

Overall 7/10

Lonely Are the Brave Review

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Lonely are the Brave is definitely a film that took a much different direction than what I was expecting. Initially it plays out as a very low key drama and then all of a sudden it becomes more of a thriller as the second half is a big chase scene. It’s an interesting story but does start to really fumble in the second half and unfortunately ends on a whimper. The final scene is stretched for quite a long time only to make the wrong decision in the end.

The movie starts off with Burns coming back into town to visit his old friend. Unfortunately his friend is doing two years in jail for helping get some people who jumped across the border illegally. His wife is quite upset at this and so Burns decides to break his friend out. After all, for a Cowboy such as himself getting thrown into jail should be real easy. Burns has never agreed with modern life and still lives life on the wild side. Unfortunately that works against him as the cops don’t want to deal with the paperwork of arresting him. So Burns is forced to seriously upgrade the felony by striking a policeman. Now when he escapes prison he is really going to have to hustle!

I think the film could have focused more on Burns’ lifestyle instead of turning into a big chase film. The chase itself is solid enough but at that point the premise doesn’t really matter anymore. The chase would have been the same regardless so it seemed like a really odd decision. We could have also gone a bit more into Burns’ psyche on why exactly he doesn’t want to modernize. We got a brief speech about not liking restrictions and fences but you could go deeper.

Where the film faced its first big pitfall was when Burns was leaving for the big police chief. He convinces his best friend’s wife to cheat with him “just once” as a parting gift. Now this is terrible for a bunch of reasons but the most obvious one is that cheating is never justified. You see this kind of thing all the time. The guy was coming off a bad break up, he seemed depressed, lost his job, etc. All of these sob stories to try and somehow convince people that cheating is justified now. I’m here to report that the context doesn’t matter. It’s still cheating and a complete betrayal to his friend who is in jail. It was just an awful move to make.

The wife looks terrible as well since it’s like she has no agency there. She should have just told him to get lost. Respectfully or Disrespectfully, I wouldn’t have minded either way she put it to Burns. That scene was just terrible and a really poor way to start off the chase scene. Yeah her husband made a big mistake and will be in Jail for a while as a result, but you still don’t just decide to throw him in the ditch like that.

Then my other issue is the super unnecessary animal violence. You could see this one a mile away to be honest. They built up from the start that Burns was really close with his horse Whiskey. So immediately if you’ve seen any movies before you know that Burns will be punished by having his horse taken away from him. It’s easily the way that you can hurt him the deepest so the film is going to take it. That’s just the way that it goes. The whole build up to that is just fluff and only delays the inevitable.

It all comes to a head for the ending which is why the ending is absolutely brutal. That final scene just stretches over and over. The actual chase itself is also rather drawn out. Perhaps it is because the movie is going for a super realistic vibe but Burns can’t move very quickly through the mountain so it’s one of the slowest chase scenes you will get. Really the only interesting part was the meanwhile with the cops.

I rather enjoyed the main chief with his sarcastic barbs the whole time. He seemed like a guy who would be fun to work with. Perhaps not the most efficient out there, but considering that all of his colleagues were complete scrubs, he seemed like an expert next to them. He was certainly the most effective and I can see how working with these guys would make him so sarcastic eventually. It’s like he was all alone out there.

There is another subplot with a truck driver but it takes forever to go anywhere so I wouldn’t worry about it. In general the film’s writing was pretty solid so I’ll give it a thumbs up there. The pacing was good as well until the chase scene. I don’t have any real issue with the film’s technicals. The backgrounds and such were fine. The movie just needed more likable characters and to remove the two weaknesses that I talked about earlier. It’s not like they were just small weaknesses either. We’re talking absolute film busters here which is the real problem.

We even have the corrupt cop who goes around beating up inmates with complete immunity. I can’t say that I was expecting that to happen in this film since it just didn’t feel like the tone they were going for. The absolute moral here is that if you don’t change with the times, you will be beaten and overpowered over and over again until you eventually submit. That is your only real option and the film isn’t shy about reminding you of this point.

Overall, This is a film that had some potential but ultimately squandered it. The ending just couldn’t be salvaged in the end and so this one won’t be a film for the record books. You’re better off choosing a different western to watch or just taking the chance to check out a big sci-fi film like some of the Terminator titles for that complete contrast. At the end of the day, change is always coming in and you have to adapt or fall behind.

Overall 4/10

Best of the Best Review

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I’m always up for a good martial arts film. Mix that in with a tournament and that sounds like the recipe for a really good movie. Unfortunately this one doesn’t spend as much time in the tournament as I would have liked. The drama starts to take over instead which isn’t super bad or anything but I wanted more action. The characters could have used some more work too. So it’s a good film instead of being very good.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Grady who suffered a huge shoulder injury a long time ago. This has prevented him from being more involved in tournaments and such. He still knows how to fight but his life feels unfulfilled. Well, one day he gets an invitation to be a part of the USA selections for the big global match against South Korea. Against the advice of his mother, Grady enters and he is selected to be one of the 5 players along with Tommy, Travis, Virgil, and Sonny. Can the 5 of them really defeat the South Koreans though? These guys have been training their whole lives and have unbelievable amounts of power after all. Also one good hit to his weak shoulder and that will be it for Grady.

So right off the bat we do have a good set up here. It’s a classic battle although I would have liked a full tournament bracket instead of it just being two teams of 5. So the first half is really about training, then we get some drama and the fights happen in the climax. That means that the focus of the whole movie is really about the build up and that needs to land. I would say that is a mixed bag though. What missed the most for me was that the characters would do some pretty serious things and it would be brushed aside.

A main example here is Travis. He is the hot head of the team who is constantly picking fights, insulting, and being a general nuisance. He tries picking a fight with Tommy rather late in the game and was also responsible for the big bar brawl. The guy is constantly running his mouth and going for late hits. There is nothing sportsmanlike about him. I tend to like the cocky type of fighter in a movie like this but there’s a big difference between cocky and dirty. I would argue that this guy crosses the line quite often. It was a little hard to buy into his turnaround later because all of the development was off screen.

Likewise for the main villain here. He is fighting super dirty and going for illegal hits in the final round. Then suddenly he has his big change of heart moment and all is forgiven? I just can’t really accept that and the whole ending was extremely cheesy and unsatisfying. I did not like the ending here and would have changed things quite a bit. I would say the message was not even handled well about not being too violent. One character has a way to win the match in the end and chooses to hesitate because of something that happened previously. The two circumstances are completely different though and so this was a bad look.

It does come back to how the film doesn’t handle drama so well. Tommy has a subplot about seeing someone get murdered in the ring and so he is scared to fight too hard. Nothing wrong with that, it’s a classic plot. However, all of his scenes transition into black and white to really show you how somber it all is and the film is extremely heavy handed about this even to the music. Nothing about the film is even remotely subtle. Then we get coach Frank’s origin story which also feels extremely forced and unnecessary. We should have used this time for fighting instead of expanding the sob story’s more and more.

I also thought Frank was just not a good coach. He talks super tough and tries to be in control but at the end of the day he lets the players do whatever they want. One of them storms out? No problem. One of them breaks the rules and goes home? No problem. One guy is throwing dirty blows and antagonizing the others? Eh he’ll look the other way. I would submit that Frank was just not a good coach and he was really just full of hot air. Not like the assistants were any better either though.

There’s the super nervous guy who gets pushed around and leaks documents as soon as there is any pressure. Then there’s the girl with a chip on her shoulder who does a lot of yoga and meditation. Her classes didn’t seem to really do anything and the scenes could be dragged out. I don’t think she did anything to really prove that she was needed as a coach here. Meanwhile there wasn’t time for everyone so I’d say Virgil and Sonny had the least to do from the main 5. They were likable enough though but ultimately weren’t super useful in the tournament. They just needed to fill in the 5 spots.

Now this sounds pretty negative but that’s because the film wasn’t really prepared to handle any of the non action scenes. Fortunately, we are here for the action and that part was really good. I liked the choreography and there was a consistent amount of fighting the whole time. The sound effects were really on point and it was all very fast paced. So you didn’t have too many breaks. It felt fairly realistic as well as these could be matches that you would see on TV. I just wish we got more of the fights especially since you could use that to show off all of the different fighting styles.

It was nice to see a tournament that wasn’t super corrupt or having everyone get murdered for a change though. Yeah there is still a level of danger here but it is a professional tournament. Aside from the ref being blind, it all felt above board. So I could definitely appreciate that. I’d also say the short run time helps with replay value. That said, as long as the original Mortal Kombat exists there isn’t a whole lot of reason to check this one out.

Overall, Best of the Best has a pretty fun concept and the movie should have focused on that a little more. The fact that the tournament feels more like a subplot is just a really bad look. I know on paper you probably want to have some depth but you really don’t need to force it. Sometimes it’s best to just focus on the action scenes and let those speak for themselves.

Overall 6/10

Donnie Brasco

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film based on a true story. These always tend to get pretty intense and I wasn’t familiar with this person so it was all new to me. It’s a pretty interesting story and while it is long, it keeps your attention the whole way. The main character does look pretty bad the whole time though so I hope he was maybe just being humble or over correcting a bit when telling the story.

The story starts with a very well known gangster known as Lefty walking into a coffee shop and seeing a guy named Donnie. Donnie is super good at spotting fake jewels and so Lefty brings him into the fold. Donnie may have shown up out of nowhere but he is good at what he does and so Lefty decides to trust him. The two of them become good friends and Lefty teaches him the ins and outs of the business. What he doesn’t realize is that Donnie works for the government as a double agent and is here to put an end to the mafia for good. Will Lefty realize what is going on in time?

Being a double agent has to be one of the toughest jobs in the world. You’re really living a double life the whole time and you’re in critical danger for the whole mission. One single slip up and you’re read. There is a ton of pressure here and of course you’re making friends with the guys who will ultimately be put in jail or murdered so you have that on your conscience as well. It’s definitely a job that only some people could ever hope to pull off and Donnie is good. He’s a really good agent so he does a good job in the mission.

So I have no qualms with how he handles his duties on the job. He got a ton of intel and really got his way into the ranks. I would say the only big misstep was in agreeing to vouch for another government agent who was clearly not as good. Where he falls apart is in the family business. He keeps his family completely in the dark and does start to have a really hard time breaking free of his gangster role. He just doesn’t talk or act the same as he used to and does get pretty cold with his wife. The instant he hits her is when you know he’s too far gone and that things weren’t really going to be the same. It was unfortunate to see him crumble so hard there. Particularly since his boss Lefty was shown to be a good family man even if he was a ruthless gangster.

All of the mobsters at the top have to have a super ruthless exterior. You can’t show any kind of weakness there. That being said, you do have to be able to turn the switch on and off. I ended up liking Lefty a lot more for this reason. Yeah he is a crook and it’s important not to lose sight of that for even a moment. Even when the guy is acting nice and doing the right things, it’s not like he has suddenly become a saint. He still does rob people for a living and does whatever the mafia tells him to.

It’s just easier to root for a mob who at least has some principles over someone who has none. It’s really as simple as all that. For example you have Sunny as another big villain and you can easily tell that he would cross a lot more lines than Lefty ever would. Sunny is the kind of guy who really lets power get to his head and the further he rises up, the more unstable he gets. The members can all see it, but really can’t do much about it. The mafia is run as a very tight ship and if you step out of line then you get whacked.

It’s for this reason that some of the really high up bosses get a little complacent and overconfident though. They forgot to watch their backs or even realize that eventually someone would make a move. One of the big sources of fear with the Mafia is that you often know ahead of time when you are about to get bumped off. Most of the characters go off silently to be executed but Sunny is a little more proactive than that. I do think he had the right idea there because why would you just allow yourself to be murdered without putting up a fight? That would make absolutely no sense to me.

I would say that the government looks rather undisciplined and scattered in comparison. They aren’t always in communication and when they do show up, they start barking orders without looking at the situation. They were basically ready to blow up Donnie’s operation at the drop of a hat for another one. After all the time he already put in there, that’s definitely insulting to put it mildly. They definitely could have been more supportive and helpful. It’s not a writing problem as the film’s writing is quite good the whole time. That’s just their role here.

The movie’s writing really shines with how it introduces a lot of characters and gives them all personalities very quickly. Some stories really have a tough time getting you to understand the characters but that wasn’t an issue here. Additionally the pacing was on point and there weren’t any real strong negatives to hold it too far back. I would probably say we could cut out all scenes of Donnie’s home life but I understand that if the events were mentioned in the original story then it would be difficult to cut them out.

Overall, Donnie Brasco is an interesting film. It can be fun to see the mobster world for a while there. You’re definitely rooting for them to get taken down the whole time. You need the cops to show up and put a stop to all of this. I know a lot of it comes down to not having a ton of proof or wanting to draw out the big guns but you’d think a solid raid from after they robbed the nearby traffic machines would be good enough. At one point in the film, just about all of them are rounded up but then they are released right away. I get the feeling that the burden of evidence is really high in these cases and the mob must have some strong people on the payroll. Either way if you are up for a solid mob story then it’s hard to imagine a flick doing much better than this one. It really ticked off all the boxes

Oujia: Origin of Evil Review

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When you have a movie about Ouija, the odds of it being good are super slim to none. There’s just not much you can do with this demonic board game and of course the whole premise tends to revolve around a bunch of annoying characters deciding to play it because they’re bored. Not a particularly good idea and things tend to spiral from there. This one does not try to shake up that formula in any way which is too bad. It’ll not go down in history as one of the all time greats.

The movie starts with Alice doing a spooky seance for an old man who wants to know if his wife would approve him doing a pretty bad transaction. Alice may not have powers but she does know how to scam people along with the help of her two daughters Lina and Doris. Ultimately the scam doesn’t go too well as they scare him a bit too much and Alice ends up not accepting his money. Ever since her husband died, she has had to take drastic measures in order to take care of her family and one of these measures was to become a professional scammer. She has everything set up around the house and she even decides to buy a Ouija board. The problem is that it comes with a free demon and this thing is now messing with Doris. Doris is now exhibiting supernatural powers but also becoming more sinister and violent. Can Alice do anything about this?

The two girls go to school where we have Father Tom at the ready so at least he has some spiritual defenses but unfortunately as it would usually appear, his powers aren’t as good as the villains. He’s basically defenseless when it counts. It’s too bad because he is a nice guy and definitely the best character in the film. He does his best to keep everyone in check and also doesn’t break his vows to start a romance with Alice who can seem a little desperate at times. He stays true to himself but ultimately isn’t a huge factor.

Alice is doing her best but at the end of the day I can’t cut her much slack for the scamming. Scamming is really a serious thing. It is one of those crimes that preys on the weak and that makes it even more dishonorable. It also takes her a long while to get with the program that these changes to Doris are pretty bad and have to be stopped.

Lina learns this earlier but in general is also a huge troublemaker so I wouldn’t say that she is a great character or anything like that. My first big gripe with her is how she keeps causing a ton of trouble and breaking the rules when she already knows that her mom is in a tough spot. The least she could do is be on her best behavior but instead she’s constantly flirting with a boy from school, breaking curfew, sneaking out the back, drinking alcohol, etc. Her rebellious phase came in a very big way and it’s definitely disappointing.

Then we have Doris who is super easy for the demon to manipulate. The instant she was talking about invisible friends and stuff the other characters should have shut it down but the sad thing is that it all would have been futile anyway. No matter what she could have done, the demon would have still overpowered her anyway. I will say that the movie does a pretty good job with the CG though. Whenever Doris is possessed she opens her mouth like a huge yawn but they really stretch it out. Think like when Goku was yelling while being crushed by Vegeta. Her mouth gets absolutely huge. Then you also have the possessed eyes although that’s more standard.

The movie’s effects were surprisingly good. I also liked the demon’s design. It looked like a fierce threat and something completely other worldly. That’s about the extent of the credit I can give to the film though. Beyond that like I said it’s just your average horror title. The humans are absolutely outmatched, the demon doesn’t really have much of a weakness, and so there’s nothing to really get invested in. When you know that all of the characters are completely doomed then that takes some of the enjoyment out of the whole thing.

With more likable characters you could at least try something but again, they were all super annoying. That one guy who was trying after Lina was just way too much the whole time so you don’t feel as bad for him as you could have. The whole whispering into the ear trick that the demon does is also a bit on the silly side. Alice’s husband has the idea to staple the villain’s mouth shut but that’s not even a good plan because it involves you needing to be strong enough to overcome the demon in the first place. You need incredible amounts of plot armor for that to even come close to working so it’s barely even a plan at all.

Why can’t he just possess an object or a person and help fight the demon? He is apparently good enough to mess with a little doll so he can affect the real world to a small extent. He’s just got to do a whole lot better than that. I also think Tom should have called the Vatican to send an exorcist over as soon as he knew that something was wrong with the daughter. How much more proof do you need once she is writing in other languages and acting so crazy? He decides to go to the house first and let them know…which is a terrible idea. He knows that she has supernatural powers now so how would that possibly help?

Overall, Ouija definitely has a swing and a miss here. It wasn’t a particularly enjoyable film and one of these days they need to have the heroes fight back a little more. Of course that would mean not having the demon possess a little kid this time. I feel like it usually tends to be the kids but if you pick an adult then we can have some fights. Give the demon some form of a weakness or limitation so that the fights can matter as well. As long as we’re stuck in this cycle, the films will continue to stumble their way to the finish line.

Overall 2/10

Curse of the Black Widow Review

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This has to be one of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen. The tone is absolutely all over the place, the soundtrack has 0 consistency, the plot is super convoluted with a ton of twists, the main character looks like Vince from WWE, there are tons of crazy facial expressions, we have a surprising amount of world building for no reason, and there is even some sequel bait. This film just could not calm down and while it starts to get a bit tiring by the second half, I just have to appreciate the ambition. I actually think there was a ton of creativity here and a whole lot of possibilities to make this into a great film. It couldn’t quite get there and I have my share of issues but it was better than I was expecting.

So the movie starts off with Mark at the bar having a bunch of drinks when a beautiful lady shows up and asks for one of the men to escort her to the car. Specifically she only wants one of the guys so Mark goes back to his drink wishing that he was selected. He would quickly change his tune though as they hear yelling and when he heads outside, the guy has been murdered and the lady is nowhere to be seen. It turns out that her name is Valerie and now she is a suspect in the murder. Mark is hired by a lady named Leigh who explains that she was the guy’s girlfriend. The police suspect that she is behind this because her excuse of not showing up to meet her boyfriend as planned was one of the flimsiest that we’ve heard. Basically the rain was too hard. Mark decides to take up the case and he’s about to fall into a whole conspiracy of craziness.

Okay so the first thing that will stand out here is the strong soundtrack. You have a lot of really fast paced jingles and the movie is generally going for a very energetic vibe. Things are just popping and it really doesn’t match the scary vibe the movie is going for. Yeah sometimes the film will get a little quiet and it will try to get ominous but by then it’s just way too late. I liked the music though, it may not be all that fitting most of the time but it does liven things up which is always cool.

Then Mark also has a ton of facial expressions all the time with a bunch of zoom ins here and there. He is visibly shocked by just about everything and doesn’t even know the basics about spiders. This guy doesn’t seem like he would be a particularly good detective and I can imagine him getting emotionally involved with all of his clients. He seemed a little too eager to take up Leigh’s offer after all and then later on he starts to get a bit jealous at the dance. He doesn’t strike me as a very upstanding guy and is someone you’d probably be better off avoiding the whole time.

Still, he does have that obnoxious kind of personality that lets him strong arm anyone who gets in his way. He has a lot of connections and even members of the cops are ready to help him. We learn about the women who are able to turn into spiders and have super abilities among other such legends. He is really hard pressed to believe any of it for a good while but finally comes around after the proof is truly undeniable.

I liked the chief of police, Gully. Yeah he doesn’t always make the best decisions and probably keeps the situation a little too tight lipped but what I can respect about him is that he doesn’t back down. Mark can bully most of the side characters along to his whims but not this guy. No sirrrrr, Gully is here for the long haul and gets the final say. That’s the kind of guy you want in charge of the investigation.

Now, another area I have to give the film props in is with the subplot at the house where you have Laura and a kid. This plot randomly showed up near the beginning of the movie and had nothing to do with anything. Then wayyyyy later on it returns and still seems to be out of place. They’re talking about secrets, Leigh is involved, etc. It’s only by the end where we get a machine gun styled swarm of twist after twist. The plots end up converging but it took so long that I actually started to think that the film forgot about it. Yeah that would be crazy but I did start to really consider it.

Honestly, the film would be better off without any of that anyway. It’s the weakest part of the film by far. I preferred to have this mysterious lady going around bumping men off for rejecting her. That’s a much scarier premise than having all the family drama and learning everything about the past. I don’t want to know more about the character, I want to just focus on how to stop her. We have this one guy who easily seduces the lady and every scene with him is absolutely painful. You’re just rooting for someone to transform into a spider and eat him already.

Also the film gets some kudos for having the first guys to actually have some class. It feels like in almost every film, the guy will buckle immediately if a pretty woman so much as talks to him. Doesn’t matter if he’s married or engaged, he just starts blubbering like a fool and cheats immediately. Not the case this time! The first two girls actually turn Valerie down which is why they are absolutely crushed. I appreciated the resolve there. Would have been nice if they could fight too but let me not get greedy. It was just a nice change of pace to see.

Also this is a better vampire film than most vampire titles and that’s even without having any kind of vampire in it. We still had the blood sucking but it was generally not on screen and the way it was handled with the tendrils was way better than biting the neck. Spiders just have a more pleasant way of going about things.

Overall, Curse of the Black Widow is an absolutely wild ride. It’s crazy just how much is going on and it’s all so rapid. Even with that, the second half does drag on a bit with all the exposition and twists. I super did not care about anything that was happening there and wanted to go back to the mystery. That’s what they should have focused on and the movie would have been better off for it. At the end of the day I wouldn’t recommend the film, it made too many mistakes. Still, it was considerably better than I expected and you see so many missed opportunities that it hurts, but you can feel the ambition. The movie took a wide swing and while it missed, it was a fair effort.

Overall 4/10

Corridors of Blood Review

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This is one of those films that will make you shake your head. The characters make a lot of dicey decisions but in particular the main character really doesn’t look very smart at all. You’ll have a hard time believing that he is a scientist of any sort. He just keeps on making so many wrong turns that you definitely have to put a lot of active blame on him. Without him, the villains would not have gotten nearly as far as they did.

The movie starts by introducing us to Thomas who is known as the greatest surgeon in the business. This guy can handle operations very quickly which minimizes the pain to the patient. Still, he is not satisfied. There has to be a way to knock the patient out before conducting a large scale operation and he is determined to find this path. He experiments with a bunch of drugs and formulas to try and get the timing down but doesn’t use any assistants. So he drugs himself and the side effects are rather strong. He bungles his way into Black Ben’s hideout where the guy steals his notebook and forces a partnership. Thomas will now need to team up with these crooks in order to continue. Is this really worth it?

Naturally the goal of inventing anesthesia is a very good one. I can’t imagine going through most operations without something to knock me out. Pain on that level is just scary to even think about. It’s pretty rough seeing the people yelling on the tables as they’re chopped up. So you sympathize with Thomas but he doesn’t act much like a professional with how he runs tests on himself without anybody around to document the effects. That’s why you have more than one person in general. You need someone who can witness what is going on and give you an unbiased account of the events. Additionally, you can’t trust your own recollection or memory since at times you will be completely under. Trying to do this on his own was a fool’s errand from the jump.

Then even that might not have been so bad if he could lock the doors or something until he was completely sober. Instead he wanders around outside and gets into trouble. The whole scene of him getting pickpocketed is super embarrassing. Then even once he’s in his right mind, it was rather easy to convince him to help out. Thomas figures that trading the lives of a few people and some dead bodies is worth it for science but it’s a slippery slope. Naturally these villains continue to get worse and worse.

So I didn’t like Thomas in the end. He ended up just giving the villains too much leeway. His son wasn’t much better with how he didn’t even try to think of any ideas. His wife probably could have warned Thomas more as well on the risks involved with the science, but she isn’t a scientist so I put the least amount of blame on her. In the end, the best hero by far was Inspector Donovan. Finally we had someone with a little sense around here. I was glad when he pointed out that the time to act was now. He busted through with his men and really made short work of the villains.

The inspector didn’t appear much in the film but was definitely a scene stealer if I’ve ever seen one! As for the villains, they’re all rather annoying and super smug the whole time. Resurrection Joe is randomly one of those guys trying to attack women out of the blue and it was the kind of scene we definitely did not need in this film. It certainly set the stage for how morally bankrupt the villains are but we already knew that. I don’t get why the girl kept on working there after that. Throughout the film she half heartedly asks what’s going on and the others just give her the runaround, victim blame her, or just tell her to get lost.

Meanwhile Black Ben’s girl is just smirking and laughing the whole time. She really doesn’t do much beyond that and unfortunately the main character just takes it the whole time. Black Ben is also one of those smirking type figures who always knows that he’s in the lead. Once the chips are down though, he folds like the rest. Definitely not much to these villains, I’d almost have preferred if the surgeon had a Jekyll and Hyde situation with the drug although I suppose that would be a tad generic so maybe this is for the best.

In the end, most of the troubles in this film felt really forced. Take Thomas’ failure near the beginning where he tries to drug someone but the guy wakes up early. It sounds to me like Thomas never experimented on anyone other than himself which is a dangerously low sample size. Surely he could have tried with his son and everything. Also, why not strap the guy down just in case? Even if to prevent him from moving in his sleep. Like I said, the guy made bad decision after bad decision over and over again.

It felt like the writers sort of had the outcome planned but weren’t sure on the steps to get there. So it’s like this was written backwards to allow for this to happen when it should have been done in order. So the writing’s not very good and I can’t say many positive things about the pacing either. It was a team effort that led this film to fail so everyone played their part.

Overall, Corridors of Blood is a film that I would not recommend. I was certainly not expecting a movie about inventing anesthesia so that was interesting but it could and should have been done so much better. This feels like a B grade crime thriller at best and it forgot all of the thrills at home. You should definitely skip out on this movie, it doesn’t really have anything to offer you. It will quickly be forgotten within the pages of time, never to be seen again.

Overall 4/10

Night Swim Review

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It’s time for a film about the horrors of swimming pools. I’ve got to admit that the premise does make you smirk a bit. Hey, with the right directing you can probably make anything scary, but why pick a swimming pool? That doesn’t seem like a great idea and in the end it didn’t really work out. It does beat some other horror films to be sure but it’s not going to be an all star hit or anything like that. No sirrrrrrrrr.

So the movie starts with a little kid swimming in the pool when a monster drags her under and she dies. We fast forward to the present where a family is moving in. Ray was a big baseball player but an injury forced him to leave the game for a while. His doctor recommended water therapy and so having a pool is a big help. It’s begun to heal his injuries really rapidly, abnormally so. Unfortunately weird stuff continue to happen with the pool and Ray is also acting erratically…almost as if he is possessed. Is the pool to blame or is something else going on here?

The pool demon is fortunately not all that tough though. Basically it can control water, using it to choke you or teleport within it and try to physically overpower you. It’s not all that tough and has low stamina so you can usually overpower it. The things that are tougher to get around is when it launches a sneak attack by making you trip using the water or by spilling glass everywhere. If you drink the water or let any of it go inside an open wound, then you’re basically dead at that point. So it has weaknesses at least but it’s still hard to get around since the pool water connects to the foundations beneath and so it can spread to a lot of water sources from there. You definitely want to watch out.

It appears to be a demon that revels in turning people against each other. For example, making a deal to save one of your kids if you sacrifice another one kind of thing. Aside from the fact that making a deal with a demon is always a bad idea, naturally this also only works if you actually trust the demon and why would you right? Also, sacrificing anyone is crazy right out of the gate. One character makes a deal in a flashback and that definitely didn’t go well. It shows just how evil some characters really are.

For a horror film, this one actually isn’t super violent at least. Some characters get sharp wounds and there is blood but it’s not all that excessive. So I would say it is fairly tame all things considered. If you are afraid of drowning then of course those scenes will be a lot more tense. It is definitely one of the worst ways to go so you can feel their fear there. The thing is, the film still had a hard time really keeping up the tension here. The movie just feels really slow paced with how long it takes for things to happen.

The shapeshifting water monster is also just not that impressive. A better core design would have been a good idea there. Also, the main characters are okay at best. The two kids Izzy and Elliot don’t really have anything going for them here. Eve at least has a fairly big role here as she keeps noticing weird things going on with the pool. Ultimately it’s one of those things where she isn’t really able to prove anything about it for quite a while but she’s sort of playing the detective here. Gathering the clues and learning about the shady history from the neighbors so that we have the answers for the ending. She is proactive about trying to stop the monster though and gets points there.

Ray loses the points for the most part here since he is constantly losing to his dark impulses. The monster takes him over rather easily and has him mind controlled for large parts of the film. I will always take shots at a character who is manipulated this easily, particularly when it is against his own family. You just can’t let that happen, at the end of the day your biggest duty is to protect your family and so if you can’t do that then it’s over. He should have found some way to keep on going or at least get away from the pool. The fact that he couldn’t is a big knock against him.

The rest of the town was pretty reasonable at least. The one family didn’t press charges despite Ray acting pretty crazy and the Baseball team seemed fun. I could have had fun seeing more practices and sports happening. There is a mild romance plot with Izzy that feels completely pointless though. The whole marco polo scare sequence was really stretched out and it’s a huge suspension of disbelief. When someone’s not playing the game properly then you just end it. You don’t keep your eyes closed and just wait forever. Also, how could she not tell that his voice dropped so hard into a deep, mysterious voice? The monster sounded nothing like him and yet she could not tell the difference at all. If it was meant to sound like him and that was just for the movie audience then that’s not particularly good writing on the film’s part.

The characters definitely don’t make the smartest moves here at all. Also, the scene where Ray nearly drowns the one kid by not moving is also super weird because he was just playing a game with another family. The pool is also absolutely packed with a ton of people in it. It’s a big pool, but it’s not huge. How did nobody notice until it was so late? A guy who wasn’t even in the pool was the first to jump in and help out which is crazy. At most you would have needed to show the monster was using reality warping to move everyone away or something. Some weird time displacement but that isn’t implied so it just seems like a weird issue. This film definitely wasn’t always focused on the writing that’s for sure.

Overall, I think this film probably would have been more interesting without the horror stuff. Remove the monster and just make it a movie about Ray rehabilitating his injury and coming to terms with the fact that he isn’t a top player anymore. Along the way Izzy would learn not to be having shady relationships in secret and Ray’s son would learn how to gain some confidence in playing Baseball because none of those mild subplots really went anywhere in this film. It feels like there would have been enough content for a slice of life movie like that instead of all the generic monster stuff.

Overall 4/10

Silver Bullet Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another Werewolf movie! Uh oh, these don’t tend to be all that good most of the time and I’m afraid this title is no exception. You’re rather limited in what you can do with this kind of plot and the movie doesn’t really try and branch out. Everyone is systematically taken down and crushed by the rampaging beast while the heroes try to find a way to overpower it. It won’t be easy though since two of them are kids and the adult tends to be drunk most of the time. Not the strongest trio to save the day.

The film opens up by introducing us to a small town that is quite happy. Everyone gets along and it tends to be rather peaceful around here. Crime just doesn’t happen and when one person is destroyed, they assume it must have been an accident. When two more people get bumped off, they figure there’s a crazy killer on the loose. The problem is that the bodies continue to pile up and there are no real leads. Marty suggests that it could be a werewolf but his uncle Red doesn’t take him all that seriously. Still, Red has decided to protect his family and prepares himself with a silver bullet. Between the actual bullet and Marty’s wheelchair which is also known as the silver bullet, they can defeat any form of evil that appears to cause any trouble.

One of the ways the film immediately tries to lose points by is making the whole cast pretty unlikable. Most of the characters who were bumped off at the beginning are rather unlikable like the bully kid and the alcoholic guy. Then you have someone who was in a scandal because she had an affair with someone. I don’t remember the guard doing anything shifty at the beginning though so that was tough luck. Then among the survivors, well Red is definitely not a great role model so it’s not like he’s going to be a great character. You can’t put him in the same conversation as the others but he still could have been better.

Marty means well but should have defended the heroine more from the pranks near the beginning of the film. It wasn’t really a good look for him and of course he is in a wheelchair so it’s not like he can move around as well as the other characters but I feel like he still could have done something here. At least he does well with the whole Werewolf issue. Marty knows how to drive around on his super wheelchair pretty well, he can even outrun several cars. That takes a lot of skill for a kid to pull this off and he makes it look easy.

The film’s tone isn’t quite as grim as you would expect even with everyone getting bumped off. I think I was expecting it to all be very serious but the film has its share of humor as well. The music randomly gets happy at times too and everything. It can be a little weird to be sure but it could have worked out if the film was better at that. Like throw in some puns and everything and make this part parody. That may have actually worked out better.

After all, this version still has a lot of violence so that isn’t going to help matters. The Werewolf takes a lot of injuries before going down and of course the victims all get brutal ends as well. I think the worst part here for them is that Werewolves are hardly all powerful. Even without a silver bullet you can at least wound and slow one down. The fact that they all panicked with their guns and didn’t shoot until it was too late was awful. The whole point of having a gun is so you can shoot it when the going gets tough. These guys absolutely fumbled the bag in every possible way here.

I would have liked to have seen more of the town meetings because to me that was the strongest part. Have them debate on how to handle this crisis. The sheriff tries talking against the whole community justice because it can get out of hand but in terms of the debate I would say he lost that one. He couldn’t really think of any reasons not to have it that would justify having the town wait on standby. There were already too many victims for that. I think what he should have done was to accept it, but coordinate who goes where himself. That would at least keep it controlled to a degree. It probably wouldn’t have made much of a difference against the Werewolf but that would have been my plan at least.

Also, the writing can be really dicey at times. So the main characters know that the werewolf will be targeting them in the climax. In fact, they know the exact day he will be attacking. So they barricade themselves at home and get ready. Then in the 11th hour, Red starts letting his guard down and even saying the kids should go to bed. He’s ready to fight them over it and doubts it when the girl says she saw a Werewolf. That was just crazy and it’s the kind of scene that would work well if this was a full on parody but we know it isn’t. So that was just bizarre, there’s no way you would even think of sending the kids to bed when the monster could be showing up any second now.

Overall, Silver Bullet is definitely not a good film. It’s a far cry from 1408 which was a whole lot more interesting from the King adaptions. This one is just super basic without anything really going for it. There are no characters that you really want to follow. The most interesting is probably the reverend and he doesn’t get a whole lot to do. The main characters could use a lot of work before they would really be all that likable. The film is definitely quite violent with everyone getting bumped off but lacks purpose beyond that. I would say to definitely skip this one and in general, continue to skip werewolf movies as they aren’t quite up to par yet. This one didn’t even bother with a big plot twist ending which was annoying.

Overall 2/10

A Quiet Place Part II Review

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You know that feeling when a movie has a really huge climax, bumps all the best characters off and has an ending that is just open/closed enough where you don’t need a sequel because you can fill in the blanks? But then they announce a sequel anyway? That’s basically this film and it sets it at a disadvantage right from the gate. How can they possibly hope to match the first film when the main guy was already bumped off. The short answer is that at least on the characters front they are completely unable to recover.

The sequel starts off with a flashback that shows how the main characters first met the aliens. They showed up out of nowhere and began terrorizing everybody. They were fast and just overwhelmed this small town. They may have a lot of weaknesses like sound and not being fully bullet proof but for a little spot they are still strong enough to dominate. I have major doubts about them being able to take over the world or anything like that but that’s for another time. It’s a pretty good flashback and I would actually say it is more interesting than the rest of the film. It reminds you of why the main character was solid and knew what to do. He didn’t hesitate at all and leapt right into action. That’s the true sign of a hero.

So in the present Evelyn, Regan, and Marcus are still trying to survive. They locate another survivor named Emmett and ask for shelter but he refuses since they will take up far too much resources and humanity is already on its last legs. They also have a baby around which makes things even worse since it needs oxygen and cries a lot. Unfortunately Regan overhears a signal and realizes she can find more survivors so she heads out without much of a plan or defenses. This forces Emmett to go after her. Meanwhile Marcus doesn’t really watch where he is going and gets wrecked quickly by a trap. He’ll be out of commission for most of the film and Evelyn has to watch out for him while worrying about Regan. What can they do?

With such a rag tag group of survivors I dare say they should have been taken out ages ago. They’re just an extremely loud bunch even if some of the events are stuff they could not have predicted like Marcus falling into a trap and Regan running off on her own. Yeah they’ve got the sound machine and a gun but these creatures move incredibly fast. You just get the feeling that they would have the edge in combat. We actually see the heroes beat a few of them and I was skeptical each time. The alien would generally slow down or miss when it shouldn’t have.

Now we know that the aliens do have a lot of weaknesses, sound, water, and generally any good weapon but even so, a bunch of kids aren’t going to do much here. I feel like the aliens were heavily nerfed in order to make the main characters look good and that’s a rather huge expense if you ask me. They just don’t have the same impact that they did in the first film and in the end that is something that often happens in sequels. I suppose it is unavoidable to an extent but can still be annoying.

As for the characters, I didn’t like Regan. I know that she meant well but her whole plan was completely irresponsible. Leaving without telling the others is super selfish because naturally they are going to have to go after her and put themselves in danger. Evelyn may be ready for action but she has a baby to worry about and Marcus who is still injured. They’re lucky that Emmett decided to help because he could have very well just left. Regan would have then been dead early on. The fact that things end up working out pretty well doesn’t retroactively make her plan good or anything like that. No, we still know that it was a bad plan and that is the big problem here.

Then I didn’t care much for Marcus either. He really just got in the way the whole time with all the yelling. Yeah it really hurts but this is a matter of life and death, you gotta stay strong. Also the first thing about being in a post apocalyptic world is that there is danger around every corner so you should be watching where you’re going. Locking himself in an air tight prison by mistake was also a really bad move. I won’t blame the baby too much for being annoying since there’s not much a baby can do though.

Evelyn was one of the only reasonable characters here. She’s at least trying her best to get through a tough situation. She has so many people to watch out for that she isn’t really able to stand out a whole lot but she doesn’t give up and that’s the important thing. Then we have Emmett who is also fairly reasonable. He’s one of those guys who talks really tough but ends up helping out in the end. There’s not a whole lot to say about him, I’d say the guy is very standard but hey that’s not a bad thing. Better to be generic than bad.

The film can be violent at times although not quite as violent as the last film. I would say it tends to move at a slower pace though and you do got for long portions of time without any real action. The movie’s biggest crime tends to be that it can just be a little boring here and there. Better characters would have done a world of good here but that’s just how the cookie crumbles in the end. I feel like the first film was a whole was a lot more engaging and did more with the premise but this one took a bit of a safer approach. Think of it as a stable ride while the other one was a roller coaster.

Overall, A Quiet Place Part II feels rather aimless for most of its journey. It’s just not as interesting as the first and we don’t really see the aliens as much as you’d think. It feels like the writers aren’t really sure where to go from here because the whole film feels like filler for the most part. Yeah we learn some things like the government’s island plan (RIP to everyone who was just minding their business there) but you could probably skip this film and not really miss much. For a film like this you should be learning more about how we are going to make a counter attack against the aliens or something. This is just a little too low level in terms of what the heroes are planning. I want to go back to the big picture but in the meantime the prequel should be fun to hopefully address my questions on how the aliens could have possibly defeated the military.

Overall 4/10