Category Archives: 2 Star Movies

Spectre Review

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I saw this film a while back so this review’s been on the back burner for quite a while at this point. Needless to say, I was not impressed and Spectre is a big drop from Skyfall. It tries to play out like the old James Bond films and that’s a bad thing. Not only is it not long enough for this film to be considered nostalgic like with what Creed and Star Wars are doing (Nostalgia in the sense that it brings back old scenes/plot references to get a rise out of the audience in an epic way) but it just brings up all of the reasons why I never liked the films in the first place. Brace yourselves because things are about to get real.

James Bond is on the hunt for an organization known as Spectre. They’re a worldwide terrorist organization that is bent on committing as many crimes as possible. Bond’s own MI6 is being taken over by a new company that wants to take control of all spy programs across the planet so the agent is on his own. Gee, I hope that the company is on the up and up though. Having complete control over the planet’s surveilance programs is a lot of power is one guy’s hand after all. Bond is so good that he still has a lot of high tech equipment at his side even without the company and he gets close to catching up to Spectre a few times only to be evaded at the last second. He’s going to need his old pal Q if he wants to come out on top!

The film is very long so the plot changes rather dramatically as the film progresses. Let’s just get the negatives out of the way first so we can discuss the characters and the film itself. For starters, the romance and objectification is back in full force for this feature. The opening credits are terrible and show why the James Bond franchise will never be respectable and why it will never be a good one either. The romance plots here are all terrible, forced, and simply unnecessary in the grand scheme of things. A widow who lost her husband about a day or two ago quickly gets over it and decides to move on to Bond. Granted, she didn’t seem to like the guy much and he was a villain, but it’s still not cool. It’s also hard to see her getting out of the place alive since Bond just left her with a phone number for an embassy.

One person is never enough so Bond also goes to the daughter of an old villain, Madeleine. She’s the main heroine of the film and while she tries to act like the tough heroine at all times, it didn’t take her long to get past the friend zone with Bond. The two characters keep on splitting up and getting back together throughout the entire film, which ends up being a plot line that drags on and doesn’t contribute to the film. It also makes the characters make some poor decisions. For example, Madeleine says that she’s had enough of Bond so she walks away to a dark alley during a tense moment where the villains are on the loose. Lo and behold, the villains kidnap her. Who did not see this coming?

There’s also the fact that even the fight scenes aren’t as enjoyable as they used to be. Remember when fight scenes were about slugging it out and just being the last man standing? That’s not how it goes now as the villains immediately go for eye shots, which makes for a long grapple where the villain will either succeed or fail. Instead of being an enjoyable bout, it turns into a fight that’s grimacing to watch. I’ve always been partial to eye shots and just don’t like to see them in my fights. Unfortunately, they tend to occur quite frequently nowadays.

This film is also pretty violent at times like when one villain pulls the eye shot on another. It’s a painfully long scene meant to show us how sinister and evil the villain is..but we already knew that. Everyone in the theater knew that these guys were evil already. We also get a long scene where the main villain drills through James Bond for a while before the agent is finally able to get free. The extra edge factor is not needed. It’s like adding a 6th cheese to a 5 cheese pizza. At that point, it doesn’t make a whole lot of difference.

All right, we’ve mostly gone through the main negatives at this point. Now, onto the characters! James Bond is actually very out of character here compared to Craig’s previous roles. Unlike the other Bonds, he was never overly interested in women to the point where he would flirt with everyone. He preferred to be detached from everyone and we only saw his affairs once in a while. Here? Nah, he’s back to being the original Bond. Who needs continuity when you have nostalgia moments for the fans right? Unfortunately, it destroys any chance that he had of being likable and Bond is a terrible main character. It’s good that he decided to leave MI6 once it was getting corrupt, but at the same time, he should have failed in his mission. My suspense for disbelief can only go so far as Bond managed to evade everyone for around a year. (I forgot exactly how long the timeskip was) Bond is a little tougher here than he was in Skyfall (The most embarrassing film of his career) but he still continues to lose to random guys with steroids. What’s the point of mastering hand to hand combat if you’ll get wrecked by any joker with super strength? I don’t fully understand! Ah well, his loss.

Ernst is the main villain and another intellectual whose only gimmick is that he can talk a good game. That’s it. He can’t fight and Ernst is only relevant because he has a large organization to back him up. While strategic villains can be all right sometimes like Light Yagami, most of the time I want the main villain to be able to fight back. Otherwise, it’s hard to take him seriously no matter how much hype the guy gets.

As far as the heroines in James Bond films go, Madeleine is a big improvement. If we ignore the romance parts, then she’s a decent character. She actually knows how to fight and isn’t afraid to use a gun. Madeleine has good reason to be upset with Bond as he gave her father a gun and basically assisted in the guy’s suicide. Certainly a less painful end for the guy since Spectre was going to destroy him, but it still doesn’t change the fact that James gave him the means to an end. Madeleine was too indecisive though and could not make up her mind no matter how great the stakes were.

Q is still a good tech person even if it’s hard to forget the more classic versions of the character. He’s younger and has less respect for Bond, but it’s very hard to respect 007 so I can sympathize. His inventions aren’t bad and Q does help a little during the film. At least he’s a loyal friend so that’s always good. I can respect Q as a character. M is probably my favorite character in the film even if he talks a little too much. He spends most of the climax bragging even though C manages to get the upper hand on him. That’s considering that M had the advantage of surprise. Again, he was too busy bragging to even consider that C might try to tackle him. C has no real fighting experience, but he can still give M a good fight, which probably isn’t a good sign for the old guy. I liked C as a political villain. I always love seeing politics even if it made everyone look bad. The CIA and the FBI aren’t so unintelligent that they would fall for this trap. Seriously, letting someone control their agencies? Hahahahahaha.

As far as the length is concerned, James Bond films are always a little too long so I can’t say that I was surprised. It’s still not a good thing though as the film does tend to drag on from time to time. It’s not as bad as the Hobbit where I would be on the verge of ZZZs though. I’d never really get that tired from James Bond with all of the explosions that were around, but it would have done well to have cut out a good chunk of time if you ask me. It may sound like a stretch, but a good 30-40 minutes could easily be shaved off.

While I was not very impressed with the fight scenes, I still enjoyed the nice car chase scenes. Those are always a lot of fun and it’s why films like Need for Speed and Fast & and the Furious always have potential. With a nice night backdrop to add some hype to the race, you can really never count a race out as being the best part of a film. It certainly was here even if Bond’s car should be a little faster considering that it’s a one of a kind machine that was built by Q.

Still, the film just couldn’t live up to the hype from the trailer. I figured that I wouldn’t like this film, but the trailer still hinted that this could be the best Bond film yet. I like the idea of an evil organization like Spectre and Bond having to face them all. It could have been so epic, but the film just never pulls this off. Even from small things like the organization having to remind us that they’re dealing with human trafficking (Again, we know they’re evil so why the extra details?) or the first action scene taking place in a packed area where the locale isn’t as vibrant and interesting as a city backdrop, the film couldn’t get as hype as it should have been.

Overall, I’m definitely fine with this being the final Bond film in the Craig era. Maybe it’s just time to give the franchise a long break and then we can check on it again in like 20 years or so. That’s definitely not a bad idea if you ask me. Listen to the reviews this time folks and just skip out on this film. If you want a more enjoyable theater experience, then go check out Creed or the new Mission Impossible. Mission Impossible continues to be a better secret agent film series than James Bond and at this point, the gap is so wide that I don’t see this changing in the near or far future. Game over Mr. Bond.

Overall 2/10

The Man with the Golden Arm Review

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Poster - Man With the Golden Arm, The_04
It’s time to look at another old film, but this one won’t fare any better than Harper. In fact, I’d say that Harper actually ends up having the edge here as this film’s main character may be worse than Harper He definitely doesn’t make a whole lot of correct choices and the subplot involving his wife can certainly tire you out very quickly. Granted, the film does sound better than the film, where the ending seems like it would be a little more dicey.

Frankie has just gotten out or rehab and he’s looking to get a new start on his life. He is getting our of the dealing game and he doesn’t intend to do drugs anymore. That being said, it’s tricky to keep to this goal as his wife is constantly trying to shoot his hopes down and she does not want him to succeed. She pretends to be incapable of walking to keep Frankie together with her. The guilt tripping tactics prove to be quite effective. Can Frankie end this cycle?

Well, this film definitely wasn’t for me. I’m all for a slice of life film, but this one wasn’t very interesting. Moreover, I never like watching the guilt tactics work on the heroes so easily. It’s similar to “Whatever Happened To Baby Jane” except it’s not quite that bad. At least Frankie can still leave, he just doesn’t really think about this option enough. His mistake if you ask me. The whole film his wife is pestering him and it gets really old fast. Not to mention that Frankie should have known that she could walk the instant that he found his drumsticks on top of the high drawer. That’s a little suspicious and the fact that she tries to sabotage his career the whole time is also a little iffy.

This film mainly deals with the problems of drugs and how addicting they can be. Any vice is extremely hard to break away from as any long time smoker can tell you. So, Frankie’s battle against it is fairly realistic even if it does take up way too much screen time in this film. The problem is that he keeps making all of the wrong choices over and over again even though he knows that it will cost him his job. It’s definitely a pretty serious addiction that he has going for him and if not for his wife, he probably would have beaten it right away. The stress just got to him though and then he kept on relapsing over and over again. It certainly doesn’t make for an enjoyable watch. So, while this is a topic that isn’t tackled all that much, it’s probably best to leave it for the documentaries or it’ll be a bit of a downer.

I would have been content if more of the film had been about the dealings as Frankie was a part of an underground card playing association. The games were definitely high stakes and I love watching card games. That certainly would have kept my interest as those scenes were the best part of the movie. Once again, Frankie made the wrong call and it came back to bite him. That’s really the story of his life and I definitely did not like him.

The villains are naturally unlikable although, the underling of the drug dealer was always fun to watch as he panicked during the card games. Molly was a good supporting character and she was really the reason why Frankie managed to come out of this film in one piece. She was certainly a very helpful character and one you could root for. The plot with the drunk person was a little iffy and maybe Molly should try not to go overboard with the whole being nice thing, but she tries. Frankie also had another friend who helped groom dogs. That guy would support him, but also got Frankie into trouble by bringing him stolen shirts. It was another unfortunate moment for the lead although he should not have accepted since he knew that they were stolen.

The soundtrack was definitely intense and whenever Frankie would go to get a shot, a really quick/ominous theme would play. It was actually quite memorable and that’s more than I can say for most movies so I’ll give the film a lot of props there. It’s not every day that you see such a stellar soundtrack. It’s a shame that the rest of the movie couldn’t have been that good. I was also glad that a dog got to appear for a while and nothing happened to him. Not including animal violence in your film is the first step to success. While this film couldn’t rise above that, it was still nice to see.

There is also some action in the film. Not a whole lot of course, but one guy is slammed to the ground and another one is pushed off of a tall staircase. It was an impressive show of strength for one character although it made the other person look a little iffy. Why would you threaten to shake someone’s life to their core when you’re going to turn your back to that individual while laughing? The villain clearly did not think his plan through at all and certainly regretted that course of action. Then, we have the quick chase scene at the end. You can almost feel the tension in the air as the main characters make the tough calls…almost. It gets quite fatal for at least one individual.

Overall, The Man With The Golden Arm wasn’t a very good film, it was actually a very bad one. Part of the problem is that it just didn’t live up to its name. His Golden Arm allowed Frankie to be great at card games and music, but both of those areas were not explored as well as they should have been. Honestly, the title is a little misleading and I suppose that you could dig up some other meanings behind that like how he always got the drugs in that arm, but it doesn’t eliminate the fact that you may have expected a different movie. I certainly didn’t expect such a large portion of the film to be about his drug problem. It’s good to raise awareness on such things and hopefully get people not to take drugs, but it comes at the expense of how much you can enjoy the film. I just didn’t enjoy this one and the run time felt like forever while watching it. Just think of the movie as being like a bad hotel experience. You arrive with great hopes, only to find that it’s an empty room with nothing to help you pass the time. That’s the essence of the film in a nutshell. If you want a good retro film, then your best bet is to watch the original Astro Boy TV show.

Overall 2/10

Horror of Dracula Review

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Time to look at another Dracula film! Dracula has always been my least favorite of the classic monster legends. Yes…he’s less enjoyable for me than Frankenstein! I didn’t have high hopes for this film, but it was an old one so maybe it would be good. Alas, it wasn’t to be. The film made all of the mistakes that you would expect of it aside from animal violence. While I am grateful about the last part, it’s not enough to save the whole film.

Mr. Harker heads to Dracula’s lair to end the vampire once and for all. Little did he know that the mission was doomed to fail right from the start. Dracula is simply too powerful and with his telekinesis..there is really nothing that a mere mortal can do. Van Helsing realizes that Harker has been gone for a long time and decides to take out Dracula himself. Can he really beat the vampire or will everyone have to die first?

The film is surprisingly violent so you should be ready for a large body count. Characters are impaled and naturally bitten as this is a vampire film. It’s why I will never be able to get into Vampire films since blood sucking is essentially inevitable. If a 50’s version of Dracula is this violent, you can imagine how gruesome the latter ones are. Dracula takes no prisoners and simply creates more and more vampires whenever he fights.

I will give the film some credit for actually doing a good job of making you think that Mr. Harker actually stands a chance. He’s very confident and puts on a good poker face when talking to Dracula. His mistake was letting his feelings get in the way of his mission. He should have found it a little suspicious that there was a girl who wouldn’t tell him much, yet she still wanted to bypass the friend zone with him. Sadly, Mr. Harker is like the average film protagonist in the sense that he just doesn’t care. It certainly came back to bite him.

Vampires are typically weak against Garlic, Sunlight, and the sign of the Cross. It depends on the version, but all three are effective in this version and they are the best way to fight them off. Van Helsing uses all three, but he forgets them for the final battle so we get to see a quick fist fight. As with most classic monsters, Dracula likes to resort to the classic choking attack to take the heroes down for the count. It proves to be a bit of a mistake as it always gives the heroes a little extra time to prepare themselves.

Dracula doesn’t have a whole lot of personality and it seems like he just wants to make everyone miserable and suck as much blood as possible. His character had potential in the opening scenes, but then he quickly went off the deep end and became a villain who simply needed to be stopped. I suppose that’s all the character that he really needs, but it doesn’t make me care for him as an antagonist.

Mr. Harker was a decent lead, but his one mistake was a huge one and made him look like a rookie. How can you let yourself get bitten? Howwwwwwww! Van Helsing is more prepared than Mr. Harker, but he loves to be vague. Instead of rushing over to challenge Dracula, he likes to have some bait ready and it always cooking up a scheme that will allow him to approach the vampire from a defensive standpoint. Helsing is smart, but not overly brave and he could have reduced the body count if he had been upfront with the other characters from the start.

He certainly doesn’t deserve all of the blame though as the rest of the characters look pretty bad as well. Dracula’s victims aren’t able to fight their urges nor are they able to defend themselves so Dracula easily manages to take them out. If you know that you’re about to die anyway, you may as well through a good punch or something. It’ll look good on the stat sheet.

The first vampire lady to appear was rather odd on that front. She asked Harker to help her and then she attacked him. That’s not a very effective way to get someone to help and then Dracula defeated her. I assume that her lust for blood was just too powerful, but that still makes her look terrible. If you want to escape, then that should give you enough motivation to escape instead of going back and forth with the decisions. Ah well, that’s why her mission ultimately failed.

The beginning of the film with Mr. Harker was the best part and I feel like the whole film would have been better off if it had followed his plot a little more. Spending 80% of the film as a mystery thriller with him would have been epic. He would have had to die at some point anyway, but that would be the climax and the rest of the film would have still been fairly epic. Fans who went in expecting Dracula to get a big role would have been disappointed, but it would have all been worth it for the epic intro.

Dracula doesn’t look very tough in this version. I would still choose him over The Mummy in a fight as their physical abilities are more or less equal, but Dracula has the speed edge. Beyond that, I have a feeling that bullets would hurt him in this version as he didn’t seem all too sturdy. If he really cannot turn into a bat as Helsing believes, that also hurts his retreat options. The humans could have beaten Dracula if they knew any good judo tricks. Running up to Dracula and throwing a punch is simply not going to cut it here.

Overall, Dracula doesn’t manage to be as entertaining as the Mummy film. It’s short, but it’s still just pretty bad. The violence was a little over the top and you’ll just be reminded of why vampire films are no fun. The bitemarks are always a little gross and the concept of blood sucking is rather sad as well. Dracula Untold managed to avoid all of that for the most part and if you want to watch a film with the legend, check that one out instead. This one is best left in the relics of yesterday as it is forgotten while in the shadow of the original. Of course, this film did get 8 sequels…which is very intriguing. The legacy did not die here!

Overall 2/10

The Woman in Black 2 Angel of Death Review

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All right, it is time to see the sequel to the Woman in Black. While I do like the saying about not judging a book by its cover…you often can. There are some movies where you know that they will not be good and vice versa. It would take something rather dramatic for me to dislike Age of Ultron and the trailer for something like Mad Max would have to be extremely misleading for me to believe that it is good. These things aren’t set in stone, but I have a fairly good idea of what to expect before I head in. This film essentially met my expectations so my gut instinct was right on this one.

Well, this may be the second film, but it is actually a prequel. That’s fairly disappointing I suppose since it is always preferable to look to the future as the plot can advance. After all, we basically know the ending thanks to the plot twist about the swamp in the first film right? Well, the backstory was only lightly touched upon so you still may not guess the ending although you will certainly predict the twist. Now, let’s really talk about the plot.

Eve is the main character and she heads to a mysterious house along with a group of orphans/kids who need protecting. World War II is raging on after all so the heroes have to get to safety. Eve is not the headmistress, but she helps out along with the leader. The house seems to be evil and strange occurrences like moving doors and sounds start to happen, but the main characters try to tune this out. The area is strategically sound as the rising tide makes it impossible to approach the house during most parts of the day unless you have a boat. That being said, someone appears to have infiltrated the island and wanders from tree to tree! Uh oh…can Eve defeat The Woman in Black?

When was the last time that you sneezed when watching a film. Was it when Lex Luthor kicked Superman down a flight of stairs or when Godzilla was crushed by Mothra many years ago? You may get in a few sneezes here as The Woman In Black tries to make her presence known while also being vague. The film is short as it is nowhere near 2 hours so there isn’t a lot of time for the villains to do anything. A surprisingly large amount of time is just given for the heroes to wander about and wonder what they are going to do. Still, when the Woman in Black does arrive…she is not very impressive. Evidently, she can roar and scream, but she can’t do anything else. She doesn’t display any level of super strength and the heroes could likely beat her in a fight if they actually tried. The problem is that the characters always run away from her instead of trying to do anything. The main guy actually backs away when he sees one of the possessed kids. Dude…it…he..is still a kid!

Harry is the main guy and he doesn’t look very good. He’s a decent character and he means well, but the sob story just came out of the blue. He needed one though to fit the film. In this kind of film, everyone has something that they wish to hide or a dark past that has yet to be explored. It happens almost every time. At least he went out like a man and had a decent ending even though he should have been able to put up a better fight. At least he made the right call,

Eve is fairly generic for a lead, but she does try her best to do the right thing. There’s certainly no real negative things to say about her. The romance is rather rushed, unnecessary, and also generic, but she can only claim half of the blame for that. She locked the door and warned everyone about the supernatural so Eve was a lot more helpful than the rest of the cast. Naturally, this did make her a bit of a target. The villains can’t have any of that!

As per usual, the horror films love to give demons a whole lot of props. They can possess you and totally override your free will. It is a little sad as hollywood is brainwashing us into looking at only half of the equation. Demons are real, but their power is greatly exaggerated. Don’t underestimate how lethal they can be, but they are certainly not all powerful. In this film, the humans have no chance against them. The demons are basically just toying with the heroes for as long as they can and the twist ending basically solidifies this.

As per usual, we have a twist ending. I have grown to expect them in horror films and they are needed since every film should have a twist ending. That being said, it is handled in a very generic way as everyone knew what to expect. Seriously….there was no other way that the ending was going to be handled at that point. A more subtle twist like the Woman in Black growing wings and shooting energy blasts would have been nice, but this is better than nothing I suppose.

Some films like to start off with an epic intro while others prefer to start off on a low note. Unfortunately, this film had some brief animal violence to start things off. A lamb/sheep got caught on the fence, which injured it. This wasn’t a terrible moment of animal violence, but it was completely unnecessary and did nothing to help the film. I don’t know whose idea it was to add this animal, but it was certainly a terrible one.

It is also unfortunate that there are kids in this film. Seeing the demons basically force them to destroy themselves was very bad. It is one of the things that will always hurt a film. Keep the children out of it and just give us unlikable characters to defeat instead. This just makes the film not enjoyable to watch and one of the reasons that it wouldn’t be able to succeed. There’s also a crazy, blind guy who is really only here to give us some more jump scenes. I don’t think there was a point to adding him and there aren’t supposed to be other people in the area. This guy is definitely a security risk if I ever saw one.

So, the film played out as it would be expected to. There is a monster/demon who is running around trying to wreck lives and turn the heroes against each other. We have animal violence and the humans are helpless against these forces . It doesn’t make for a very engaging film and nothing ends up happening. The heroes basically just stayed at the house for a while and eventually left. If nothing else, prequels are supposed to serve a purpose and I didn’t see one here. We could have not made the prequel and literally nothing would change. If you’re looking for development for the Woman in Black, you’re not going to find anything new here. It is basically just the same rambling from the 1st film.

Overall, The Woman In Black 2 is a film that I wouldn’t recommend. It suffers from the typical problems of the horror genre and there’s ultimately no point to it. We don’t learn any new data so the prequel may have not even come out. Actually, a mild correction there. This is actually still a sequel and takes place 40 years after the 1st one. Wow…you would never guess that and this is actually the biggest twist that the film series could have given me. In a way..the writers deserve some praise for this. The film isn’t fun and the only kudos that I could give it is the fact that the film’s ending is slightly happier than you may have expected. I thought that the whole cast would just drown or something, but the actual ending is much better. We also get the twist ending, which hints that everyone is doomed, but maybe they’ll be okay. If you want a scary film, check out Justice League Starcrossed as the Earth gets invaded. Can the heroes win!?

Overall 2/10

Heist Review

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Note that this review is of the edited TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be understood as belonging to this version of the film as a review of the uncut version would likely be more negative.
HEIST
Time to look at a Heist film, hence the title. This genre can be quite good as we saw in Ocean’s Eleven and I’m confident that the Ant-Man film coming up will be good or decent. Unfortunately, Heist doesn’t live up to its name and it takes the genre way too literally. It plays out like a classic crime film and you can barely even call it a heist by the end. Seriously…the heroes just don’t do anything for most of the film.

The main characters were part of a gang, but they decided to stop robbing stores when their leader was caught on camera as he attempted to escape. Unfortunately for Joe, another mobster wants him to do one more job. It’s not exactly a request and Joe has no money so he can’t escape otherwise. He’ll have to comply, but can he really suceed in this job when he also has to deal with a watchdog on his tail? Not a literal one, but the mobster’s son/nephew/some kind of relative is assigned to watch. Joe doesn’t like this one bit!

Joe may not like that, but it’s safe to say that I don’t like Joe. The film flopped for several reasons, but let’s get into the biggest one right away. The writing. This film has more language than the average horror film and it’s very in your face. The heroes will swear in just about every scene and Joe went on a roll at one point where he would curse in just about every sentence that he spoke. I always found that provocative language is just a sign of bad writing. The writers don’t know how to engage the audience in the scene so they just use course language to get everyone to pay attention. It’s a bold strategy, but one that it always doomed to fail.

The characters also reuse the same words over and over again. “It’s burned Joe” No, it’s not burnt Bob” It’s burnt…burrrrrrrrrnt!” They say the word, burn, and its other variations many times as the film goes on. You’ll eventually start wincing and wondering what’s going on here. No exaggeration, they probably say this at least 20-30 times. It gets old very quickly. The conversations go round and round and round. The film may have had some hope otherwise, but it’s almost literally impossible to be a good film when the writing is this lousy. A by product of this is that every character is instantly unlikable so it’s safe to say that their potential is out the window.

No worries, this film wasn’t about to just make one critical mistake. There’s also a degree of fanservice involved as Joe sends his wife to entice one of the villains. The very thought of Joe sending her off on such a mission already shows you more than a little about his true character. It’s a pretty cheap trick and the villains don’t really buy into it anyway. The scenes with her and the villain are rather unnecessary and the heroes could have tried to trick them in a better way.

Those are really my main two complaints with the film, but they sure deal a lot of damage. Another factor to add in is that the film simply isn’t interesting. There’s barely even a plot as it goes on. Joe will try to trick everyone and keep his money, but the villains won’t let him and that’s really all that happens. There is also a lot of the usual plot hax of course, like a police guard being defeated so easily and the cop actually believing what she heard in a bar. Naturally, these things will happen I suppose. Joe is also given an awful lot of time by himself to paint his hold and hide it in two trucks considering that the villains are on to him….

If I had to pick a character that was at least a little likable or close to it, I would pick Joe’s main assistant. He’s essentially the bouncer and since Joe isn’t the greatest fighter around, the guy protects him. He gets a pretty happy ending and he did good in the big fight scenes. It’s a little hard to imagine how he was able to stay underwater so long without an obvious air pipe sticking out, but we’ve already questioned the film’s writing so let’s not go there…

There are actually some fight scenes, but none of them are very good. They’re simply standard punches and kicks, which won’t be winning the film any brownie points. What it needs to do is look back and reflect on the many things that went wrong so that a potential reboot can be made better. For one thing, serious and heist don’t really go together. If the heist is played too seriously, then there’s a chance that the film will overcompensate by making all of the heroes really unlikable and evil.

We need some kind of plot twist to show that they’re stealing from someone who’s actually crooked. At least they try not to murder any civilians, but it’s only a small start. (That reminds me that it’s hard to believe that they could grab a job at the local coffee shop and drug everyone’s coffee….) Ocean’s Eleven was the perfect example of how to do the genre and this film should have taken some notes. The main characters in Ocean’s Eleven (Some of them anyway) were pretty likable villains. You still do need to call them villains since they are robbing the place, but they’re doing it in a professional manner. These guys lacked professionalism at every corner. Granted, you need good writing to pull off what Ocean’s Eleven did, but you could say the same for just about every film. There’s no real soundtrack so we’ll have to skip that section.

Now, let’s think of how the film could have realistically been improved. 1. Each of the characters is professional and the writing is on par with The Avengers GI Joe. 2. Get rid of the fanservice and the whole plot between the main villain’s relative and heroine. 3. Establish more of an actual plot. We need to know what they’re stealing and how they’re going to do it directly. Not in between all of the burnt comments. That’s not a lot of things, but it would have bumped up the score by at least 3-4 stars. That’s pretty good if you ask me.

Overall, Heist is terrible. It’s the kind of film where you’ll be counting down the minutes until it’s finally over. The ending has one of the main characters smirking, but you’ll be wondering why he’s smirking. One of his friends isn’t around anymore and his wife is gone. He got some money…but that’s hardly going to change things. If you want to see a good heist film, check out Ocean’s Eleven like I’ve been hinting or check out Dragon Ball Z, but be warned that it’s not actually related to the heist genre. Why did I recommend it? Simply because DBZ is pretty awesome. Now, we simply have to wait for the Ant Man film to see how it handles the slippery slope of being a heist film.

Overall 2/10

Unbreakable Review

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It’s time to look at a superhero film that doesn’t involve good ole DC or Marvel. Naturally, that can be a little dicey at times since we don’t have the tried and true Stan Lee to ensure that character development goes well. Unfortunately, my fears were realized as the film quickly crashed once the superhero element began. Seriously, the film was good for over 60% of its run time, but then everything went downhill from there!

David works as a security guard and he’s pretty good at his job. One day, he is approached by Elijah, a man who claims that David may have the uncanny ability of being unbreakable. David cannot get sick and Elijah is on the opposite end of the spectrum as his bones break at the slightest touch. David is intrigued, but he doesn’t know what to do about all this. Ah well, he has about an hour-90 minutes to decide where he goes from here.

All right, here’s why the superhero part failed. The film decided to go for grit and darkness instead of actually providing us with a real threat. David can see the past, which is one of the worst powers that you can think of since he will know that things have happened to people, but he can’t stop them. Conveniently, he sees a problem that he can still help with, but the damage has been done and that’s why the film sunk. The film showed us a bunch of grim happenings that happened to the characters around the lead and there’s no need for it. Assault, Rape, Murder, you basically see all of that and the main character can’t do anything about this. As far as I am concerned, that destroyed any chance that the film had of being even somewhat decent.

David attacks the murderer and defeats him, but the film didn’t need to show us the other situations. If they had to display his ability to see the past, they should have just showed us people stealing jewels or robbing a hot dog stand. Minor crimes would give us the same image without just being dark to be dark. It’s a lesson that more films could definitely learn if they want to succeed the way that Bonds Beyond Time did.

The final fight is actually pretty humorous because of how it happens. Let’s just say that it’s hard to know what the director was going for here. David has been shown to be able to bench press over 350 pounds so we know that he has some degree of super strength. And yet…he can barely take out the average thug. He gets the guy into a choke hold and then they wrestle for an awkward 5-10 minutes. The guy simply won’t go down and David looks extremely unimpressive. Naturally, David decides not to take any prisoners so he pulls a Man of Steel on us. Yeah, this guy’s going to end up being more like the Punisher than a real hero at this rate. He also lost round 1 when he was simply pushed into a pool.

Again, every bit of the superhero part of this film was pretty bad, but it was actually good before that. Elijah’s backstory was pretty sad, but we got to see him make it through that in one piece and own an art gallery. He was pretty unreasonable, but the scene of him defending comics as actual art was pretty funny. Elijah was a decent character for a while. The ending makes him very unlikable of course and the way that he trashed the comic store was completely uncalled for. So, he had his moments in the film, but he could have been better. Considering his condition, he shouldn’t be much of a threat to David.

As for David, I guess he’s a decent character although he’s rather slow on the uptake at times. He just spends a lot of time dragging things out and being rather indecisive. I find it hard to believe that he simply forgot about his past. You don’t really forget events like that and how has he never realized that he had super strength? A bit of a stretch in those areas, but he tries to be a nice guy. The main outlier is the opening scene where David decides to flirt and hides his wedding band. That made him pretty despicable. For most of the film, he’s certainly not a bad character, but you can’t easily forget such a scene. David gets some development later on, which possibly counteracts the scene. Hopefuly..he just needs to work on improving himself a bit. That shouldn’t be a problem. Once he is used to being a hero, maybe he’ll remember that you have to be heroic and take the villains to the authorities to qualify.

David’s kid is a pretty annoying character I’m afraid and he shows why kids should never be main or supporting characters in any films. His decision to shoot David to prove that he was a superhero is pretty crazy and he should know that with great super strength doesn’t always come great durability. The kid certainly hasn’t been keeping up with the comics even though he owns some action figures. There was an odd romance going on between David and the heroine, but it didn’t have a place in the film and it makes you wonder what the point of it all was. They are already married so that subplot could have just been terminated before it even began.

The film isn’t great with pacing. There are many points in the film where it is clearly stalling to inflate the run time. This film could have easily happened in closer to 70 minutes as we have almost half an hour of fluff. David just thinking or other characters standing still and waiting to be blown away. The film needed to move a little quicker and show us that there was still a point to all of this. The problem is that there isn’t much to the plot if they played it straight. It was a little convenient how the characters found out about David’s weakness and it would have been more natural if they hadn’t found out until he fell in the pool. It would have been a big “Connect the dots” moment and more of a shocker that way. Not really a negative though, just a different path that it could have taken.

Overall, Unbreakable is a classic example of what happens to a film without an end goal in mind. Once David became a superhero, the film fell apart very quickly. If it had just stuck to being a suspense thriller, it really could have gone far. As it stands, you are better off checking out Man of Steel or the Avengers. Those superhero films are always ready for action and they will inspire you to see other superhero films while this one can just make you avoid them. I can’t say that I would hold out much hope for a sequel being good, but you never know. Either way, the next time you want something that is unbreakable, I recommend buying some Jaw Breakers! (Disclaimer, those candies are choking hazards and are as tough to chew as they are delicious to eat)

Overall 2/10

The Window Review

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Is it just me or does the kid look much older in the poster than in the film? Well, that happens I guess. The Window is one of those tragedy films where the lead is pretty helpless and it is supposed to let you sympathize with the hero while also fearing the villain. Suffice it to say, this does not work very well. The Window is similar to the Bad Seed in that the retro feeling simply could not save it. I’m afraid we’re in for another tough review!

Tommy is a little kid who typically lies and exaggerates to keep the attention on him. He doesn’t mean to let things get out of hand, but they typically do. One day, he witnesses a tragic murder and tells his parents, but it is too late. Tommy has already burned his bridges so nobody will believe him at this point. When the murderers find out that Tommy knows, they decide to take him down once and for all. This is going to be a tough battle for Tommy!

I can sympathize with the fact that Tommy tends to exaggerate a little. The lying is pretty uncalled for though, but I tend to exaggerate things myself or at least, I did a lot back in the day. Sometimes a story doesn’t have enough of the Wow factor so you have to add things in. Like, making the guy 10 feet instead of 7 in your story or maybe adding some extra punches in. You don’t mean to do it, but it just happens. Naturally, as you get older, this gets much easier to control. Tommy’s pretty young so he’s still getting the hang of that. I like to think that he’ll learn better very quickly…especially thanks to the results.

That being said, he’s still not a great lead. You may already be familiar with this from my older reviews, but I typically don’t like having a kid as the main character or even as one of the main supporting characters. It simply doesn’t work for a live action film or TV show. If Tommy was a little bit older, this story would be very different since he could have taken matters into his own hands. As it stands, he does a pretty good job of evading the crooks in the climax of the film, but we don’t get any real fights.

It’s actually a little disappointing for Tommy’s parents since they don’t get to help out at the end. I was expecting the dad to fight the criminals towards the end when he went home, but the film decided to take another route. Instead, it was Tommy who confronted them and that was certainly less exciting than my version of events would have been. The parents really made things difficult for Tommy and at the very least, they should have taken him with them. Leaving him alone at home when he’s scared of the neighbors is certainly not the wisest thing to do.

For once, I think the police actually looked pretty decent, or at least some of them did. The Chief actually tells one of the inspectors to check out the neighbor’s house just in case Tommy was on to something. It ultimately didn’t pan out since the investigator was tricked very quickly, but the fact that he gave it a shot was pretty neat. The other Policemen definitely weren’t very coordinated though as seen when the dad was looking for Tommy. One of them had just seen him so you would think that he would have been able to mention it when the alert went out.

That brings to mind the taxi scene. It really stretches your imagination and it’s hard to believe that the cab driver did not notice the kidnappers knocking out Tommy and being mean to him the whole time. Seriously, it really makes you wonder. The writers dug themselves into a hole with that scene and had to think of a pretty unconvincing way to get out of it. A serious of unfortunate coincidences brought Tommy to that point as well like when the grandfather called to have the mom leave. It’s very convenient to say the least.

The film has a happy ending, but it is not a pleasant watch and that severely limits its rating potential. Again, having a kid as the main character is detrimental to a film because we know that he is completely helpless so the film is really just about him being terrified and beaten up the whole time. That’s just not something that is going to entertain you and the whole concept behind the film is pretty bad. With enough light natured fun and gimmicks, it can actually be good like in Home Alone, but that’s the exception, not the rule. There are no real fun scenes to speak of here and the film takes itself too seriously for its own good.

Overall, The Window is one of those old films that actually isn’t very good. The writing isn’t even exceptional, which is rare for a film of its time. There’s a lot of plot hax to be found here so that the villains can have a fighting chance, which wrecks the realism of the film at times. I certainly wouldn’t recommend it and this isn’t the kind of film that will leave you with a smile afterwards. It’s an intriguing adaption/moral retelling of the Boy Who Cried Wolf, but that story was better in the fables. Or at least, one version of them since those tend to have many different endings. Instead of this title, I recommend checking out the film “Yugioh Bonds Beyond Time!” Now that is an epic adventure filled with suspense and danger.

Overall 2/10

Poltergeist Review

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It’s time for what many believe to be the ultimate horror film. Ultimate and Horror are two words that typically don’t belong next to each other and I definitely did not become one of the film’s many fans. I’m guessing that it probably did start a lot of the horror tropes, but it shows that the 80’s feel can’t work for everything. It certainly is better than A Haunting in Connecticut, but I can’t say much else for it.

A family moves into a new house and things start to get supernatural. Their chairs seem to move by themselves in the kitchen and they can even defy gravity as something seems to push them. Unfortunately, the disturbances begin to grow more and more violent as the days go by and the family begins to fear for their lives. They are still holding out of course, but then their daughter is kidnapped by these ghosts. The heroes reluctantly call in “The Experts” and now it’s all a matter of finding their daughter before they are destroyed.

Well, the plot certainly didn’t help this film’s case. In superhero flicks, I never like when innocent bystanders are dragged into the mess and it’s naturally worse when they are actually hurt. Even worse than that is when a kid is thrown into the mix and that’s what happens here. Like Insidious, the film decides to up the stakes by putting the children in peril and that’s just not a good idea. The little girl is stranded in the demon world for quite a long time and the situation is just way too grim. She doesn’t remember what happened in the demon world so that should keep her psyche from collapsing, but it’s still a fate that should not have happened.

A simple way to fix this problem would be to have the main hero be kidnapped. It would be a sad plight for him, but one that isn’t quite as bad since we know that he can fight. That being said, kidnappings are simply not the best plot device to use, but they can work if used effectively. The film just didn’t do this and they were trying a little too hard for an emotional feeling. Because of that, the main characters are feeling pretty gloomy for most of the film. There are no big speeches or heroic comments to be found for quite a while.

The experts who come in to help are naturally not that good. Then they call in the ultimate expert and she rubbed me the wrong way from the start. Her first big statement to the heroes is basically “You have to promise to do whatever I say even if it goes against your beliefs as a Christian!” “Lol no” is what I would have responded and they should have told her to skip the intro. Instead, they instantly agree and of course they do want her on their side, but she definitely seemed like a pretty terrible character right then and there. She never went back up for me from there and some of her actions just didn’t make sense. “Go to the light…go away from the light…back to the light” insert and repeat many times. She was better than the former leader of the experts though.

That lady decided to talk with the main heroes for way too long. It was the one part of the film that definitely dragged on a lot as you would wait for her to finish. Her two underlings weren’t great even if one of them was pretty confident. They let their mind wander far too often and they act like this is some kind of hobby for them instead of something that they take seriously. I don’t blame one of the underlings for running out of the house though since things were definitely getting pretty dangerous.

Naturally, I’m sure that we all remember the rating controversy from back in the day. After seeing the film, I can definitely say that the MPAA was correct in their initial response of an R rating. Since there was no PG 13 at the time, it was definitely the right move since this is much closer to R than PG. Spielberg and the others got them to bring it down to a PG later, but it’s one of those changes that I definitely don’t disagree with. The film is surprisingly intense for an 80’s film and it can feel like Alien at times.

I definitely wouldn’t say that the film is scary, but it compensates with violence and the gross factor. One guy’s face literally starts to peel away and it’s easily one of the worst scenes in the film. Another scene shows a piece of meat getting torn apart, but with extra effects to make it seem more like human meat if it was being ripped apart. Those two scenes alone make it unsuitable for PG. We also get to see how the humans look once they are spit out of the demon world and while it looks like jelly you can also easily mistake it for more violence. The ambiguous work makes you wonder if the effects just didn’t age well or if you’re misinterpreting it. Either way, it was definitely pretty gross.

The film also brings back the horror trope that I had actually manages to avoid for a while. The main heroine bath scene. You’ll feel like sighing when you see her turn on the faucet because you know that this scene was clearly not needed. There is literally no point as no ghost appears to attack her at all. It’s simply a very long, boring scene of her taking a bath. That’s another big shot against the film and we definitely did not need any more at this point!

Let’s quickly look at some of the positives. The ghosts are actually pretty tough and they do get designs. There’s a 4 legged creature that looks like Clover and he seems to be the main villain. His physical strength is underwhelming, but the design is what counts and he may have some kind of electrical ability at his disposal. The enemies can possess objects so they turn one of the clowns into a weapon of mass destruction. It still only has the strength of a toy though so it’s easy to overpower, but it’s great as a distraction. The tree scene was definitely one of the more intense ones since it really comes out of nowhere. At that point, you weren’t really expecting anything quite like that so it definitely popped out. The various monsters definitely added some action to the title.

The bystanders who are around can definitely raise a few questions though since nobody seems to really do anything. The neighbors notice that the spirits are messing with the heroes and they decide not to help. The house starts to explode along with the neighborhood and the onlookers only appear to be shocked. Some of them have enough energy to start running, but they all felt pretty hollow. This was more of a personal problem for the family though so I guess it’s all right. It’s not a huge idea.

All right, let’s quickly go back to the negatives. The film performs quite poorly when it comes to the animal life. A bird dies in one of the opening scenes and that should have been cut out. The main girl then buys two gold fish even though we know that they probably won’t survive the house exploding. The dog lives and I’m glad about that, but the film shouldn’t have introduced the other animals. It doesn’t serve a purpose and it feels like the film is just trying to get under your skin with how gritty it is instead of trying to be a quality film.

The main characters aren’t bad, but they’re not very m memorable either. The main guy seems to overreact with the boss considering that the guy seems to have been amiable to him in the past. Their teenage daughter isn’t that good though as she really overreacts with the neighborhood is hit and she almost jeapordizes their chances of escape. The other two kids are all right and don’t get a lot of character either way since they’re too young. One scene that will probably make you wince is when the main characters decide to go talk to their neighbor. They can barely talk because they’re laughing so much and it’s sad for them. I just figured that the ghosts were keeping them from talking, but their dialogue afterwards confirms that this simply isn’t the case. That just makes you wonder and while they were naturally embarassed, it was just too much of an overreaction on their part.

The best part of the film is easily at the beginning when the heroes are trying to watch a football game. The only problem is that they get the same feed as their next door neighbor so they quickly fight with the remote. A whole film could easily be made out of that concept and I have a feeling that it would be more fun. If the whole film was like that, I definitely would have had a blast with it.

There isn’t a twist ending this time, but we still do get one last climax after the film seems to have ended. I suppose that will have to do and we deserve a happy ending for the protagonists once in a while right? It works as a change of pace and we see that the ghosts definitely don’t go down without a fight. They tricked one of the “experts” so I give them kudos for that.

Overall, Poltergeist is not the ultimate horror film and I’d say that it’s not even a good one. Relatively speaking, it probably holds its own to most of the other horror films, but I didn’t dig it. The main reason is that everything’s happening to a little kid and the film just has too many gross scenes. The fanservice doesn’t help either and the film will definitely need to rethink a lot of its areas before trying to give us another big film. The scenery is good and you’ll like the son’s room, but the film tends to fall apart after that. If you want to see a film that’s nice and scary while still keeping it real, check out Scooby Doo Zombie Island!

Overall 2/10

Lakeview Terrace Review

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Looks like it’s time for a thriller film. Lakeview Terrace may sound like the type of film where the main characters go to a nice looking hotel that is actually in a bad neighborhood, but that’s not exactly how it plays out. It’s a pretty distasteful film that can rival many horror films that I have seen and I can understand why the reception wasn’t very good for it. It’s one of those films that’s just frustrating to watch and it’s certainly not one that will have you smiling throughout.

Chris and Lisa move into a new house where they plan on staying for a while. They’re hoping that it works out, but they were not counting on their next door neighbor. Able is a police man, but he’s racist against couples with different ethnic backgrounds so he decides that he’ll intimidate and terrorize them until they go away. Chris definitely doesn’t want to back down to this bully so they begin to escalate their actions. The main problem for Chris is that Able has been living here for a long time and he has a lot of connections. Home Field Advantage is not something to be taken lightly!

I will admit that the film’s beginning was pretty clever since you initially think that Able could be the heroes. We’re not sure what’s going on with Chris and Lisa, but one of your first guesses could be that they’re bad apples since they keep making moves while the other figure isn’t looking. After he leaves, they still act like pretty unlikable characters for a while. Eventually, we figure out that it’s still Able’s problem, but the beginning does try to give you some doubts at first.

What makes this film unlikable is that it simply goes too far. Able keeps humiliating the heroes and intimidating them without the heroes firing back. One of the worst scenes in the film is easily when Chris goes to Able’s party to tell him to tone down the music. He’s essentially manhandled in that scene and he displays some incredibly weak strength of will there. Naturally, his actions there are quickly sent to Lisa for some more drama. It was a very unpleasant scene to watch and it just went way too overboard. Another cringe worthy scene is when Able goes to Chris’ house to fetch his daughter and totally threatens Lisa. Chris isn’t there to help so there’s nothing that she can really do and you have to hope that the main characters will bring in the cops. Chris probably would have ended things by now, but he wasn’t allowed to buy a gun for 10 days due to a grace period.

Abel is the main villain and he’s definitely very unlikable. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen an openly racist villain like him. He provokes the heroes a lot and takes many chances. He’s basically willing to risk the job that he’s had for decades just to get rid of the main characters. He’s a pretty sick individual so he probably doesn’t care or even think about the repercussions of his actions. It’s all worth it to him and naturally it all comes down to a traumatic event that happened to him a long time ago.

Chris is the main character and I like the fact that he stands up to Abel at the very end, but it’s too little too late. He spends too much of the film trying to be polite to Abel when he should be more direct. Abel loves to torment the heroes only to pretend to be nice before pushing them back down again. It’s one of those social things that is hard to sidestep, but the heroes should definitely be willing to do so. Unfortunately, Chris is one of those guys who does have a whole lot of flaws, which really doesn’t help his case. He’s actually a very unlikable main character. He smokes behind his wife’s back and he does a poor job of exposing Abel’s actions.

Lisa suffers from her poor handling of the Abel case as well. After Abel threatens here and goes onto her property without permission, she doesn’t let Chris know. Instead they have another argument about their romantic drama. One area where I was definitely against Lisa was when she decided to skip her pills so that she could have a baby. Just dumping something like that on the main guy is pretty unreasonable. If she didn’t like the fact that he didn’t want a kid, just breaking up with him seems like the best option. It was a bit of a low blow to say the least and she’s no more likable than Chris.

One of the film’s negatives is naturally that there is a lot of romance and it’s not handled in a good way. There are films that can make a nice romance and there are others that just want to have the main characters constantly flirting and being provocative. This is the latter and they definitely don’t provide a good example to the other characters. You can’t blame the dad for not approving of Chris although Lisa definitely deserves half of the blame as well. They need to tone it down a lot and remember the good ole days where just holding hands was considered to be bold.

There is a subplot about a fire cloud that is approaching the house, but it ends up being a plot that doesn’t really go anywhere. It finally comes in at the end, but we don’t get a big fire to help the climax. No, instead it just gives us smoke. Luckily, that’s enough to get the police to run away so that Abel can make his final stand. The cops were pretty slow at the end since they see that a car has crashed and they’re still unsure of what to do. Telling the main character to drop his gun is great, but they should have also went to Abel to see if he was concealing one. They had quite a few cops on them so it would have still been pretty easy and relatively safe. At most, only 2-3 would be shot and they would be able to mow down the assailant.

Still, as I mentioned, the main negative of the film comes back down to the fact that it’s simply a chore to get through. The party scene with the unwilling consent from Chris was really bad and watching Abel constantly mess up their parties is just sad. The film just leaves a bad taste in your mouth and you’ll be waiting for it to end. You’ll also wonder how the main characters ever accepted the house since there are evidently no locks to secure the perimeter. It’s an easy matter for the villain to jump the fence or just walk in through one of the dozen entryways. You can never feel safe in such a house and I would have moved out (After defeating Abel) immediately.

Overall, Lakeview Terrace is a film that you will want to skip. You’re definitely not going to have fun watching it. Watching the police acting inappropriately while off duty is a stereotype that needs to go and there are no likable characters here. While the villain is really unlikable, it is still hard to root for the main characters since they are really below average when it comes to leads. The film also drags on a little since the heroes are just getting bullied for so long that you wonder when the climax will arrive. No, if you want a thriller film, go check out Final Fantasy VII Advent Children!

Overall 2/10

The Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 Review

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Believe it or not, I actually went to watch this film at the early midnight screening. Am I that much of a fan? Well, I read the books so that’s a good enough reason to watch the next one despite the first two only getting 3 stars here on the blog. I had some hope that this installment would improve upon the others, but it’s actually regressed in a few ways. We see Attack on Titan elements in one corner and a broken Katniss who resembles Simon from some of the dicier episodes of Gurren Lagann. These things do not ultimately mix into an epic film.

No worries, this review won’t have any real spoilers for the film. The flaws are general enough so that I can expose them without using it. The plot follows Katniss as she tries to move on from the traumatic experiences of the first two films, but without a whole lot of luck. The resistance movement wants her to be their symbol, but she knows that the more that she helps them, the worse off that Peeta will be. It’s a lose lose situation since the government will mess with Peeta regardless of what she does. She can only continue to go through the motions and hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

The film really focuses on Katniss’ development so not a whole lot happens here. The government talks tough for a while and Katniss also gets some “Burn” lines, but both sides are essentially at a stand still. The set up basically goes on for two hours and we only get a few brief action scenes. Some are so brief that they barely even count. Remember the scene where Katniss shoots down a plane in the trailer? That would be one of the action scenes and it’s technically under a minute long. A single shot is hardly an action scene, but I still have to count it or things would get dicey for the film.

The classic theme for the emblem/franchise is great as the whistle is definitely iconic at this point. Beyond that, the soundtrack is not very noticeable. You will probably not remember most of the tunes by the time that you are through with it. I don’t think that I remembered any of them except for the classic whistle because it’s all very generic theater type music.

I also don’t really care for the ending. It’s not a scene that will really make you hyped for the sequel. It’s just another opportunity to remind us that one of the characters has already been broken down so much that there really won’t be a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s to further the film’s dark and dreary tone more. You want a set up for the next film to be something epic so that people will have something to talk about for a year. The after credits scene in Avengers is a great example of that. Soul Eater had one of my favorite cliffhangers where the protagonist arrives at the villain’s base to fight. While Hunger Games may not be able to do something like that, a much better ending would have been for Katniss to have: A. been holding a cup and then clenching her fist to make it break or B. Shooting an arrow into a bullseye and saying something along the lines of “President Snow, prepare yourself!” Those would have been more exhilarating ways to end the film. We would have had a determined main character who’s ready to fight and that’s an ending that you would definitely remember for a long time.

The film does have one area where it improves a lot over the previous titles. There are no real animal violence scenes to be found here and that’s a huge positive. No dogs running around and even Katniss finally learns that animal hunting is wrong. It only took this experience of being hunted to help her realize that, but it’s better late than never. There isn’t a lot of action, which can be a bit of a negative in itself, but it also means that we don’t get gritty Hobbit styled action scenes that hurt the film in its own way. I didn’t care for the action scenes in the first two Hunger Games films, but that’s because most of the fight scenes don’t get to happen because of the stage gimmicks and none of them were really any fun. They certainly weren’t Mission Impossible or Captain America level.

As I’ve already mentioned, I didn’t like Katniss as the main character. She’s not determined or portrayed as very tough here since she’s still getting over the Hunger Games. She’s already destroyed people and been in life or death situations so she should be getting used to that by now. Her reaction upon seeing a bunch of skulls and bones was wayyyyyy too dramatic and I didn’t think that it made a whole lot of sense in her position. It’s tragic of course, but not enough to make her hit the ground and gasp. Her only good scene is probably when she shoots down the ships from the trailer, but that’s simply not enough. She never declares that they should take the fight to the villains and she’s on the defensive the entire film. Her only brief physical fight makes her look very bad since she could not do a single thing. Katniss is easily becoming one of my least favorite protagonists and while she will never be as bad as James Bond or Captain Kirk, she is fading very quickly. Main characters should always be brave or at least tough. If you’re not either one of those things…then it’s going to be a difficult road.

President Snow doesn’t really appear all that much, but we still get scenes where we get to see him grin or verbally destroy Katniss. It’s about all that he gets to do since he’s the kind of villain who just hides behind his minions for the whole film. Gale is around for most of the film, but he doesn’t really do anything. He just tries to get some romance and he’s here to remind us that Peeta can’t be trusted. I definitely didn’t like Gale and he certainly doesn’t help Katniss snap out of her slump.

Peeta’s role can’t fully be discussed here, but let’s just say that he’s one of those guys who’s in a pretty grim situation with no real hope left. So, he doesn’t get a chance to look very good. He gets to be on TV a lot though so that’s always a plus. Elfie is fairly unlikable as well. She has a few moments that are supposed to make the audience chuckle, (They succeeded by the way) but that’s not enough to make her a strong supporting character.

The head honcho is decent, but she just doesn’t seem to have a chance here. She’s taking a big gamble on Katniss, but it doesn’t change the fact that the heroes are seriously outmatched. That being said, she’s better than most of the other characters. Haymitch’s role is very small and he only gets a few quick scenes so that we can remember him. That’s about it…maybe he’ll do more in the sequel.

Mockingjay also starts to write the series into a corner since the Capital is so much stronger than the Districts. Do the heroes really expect to win this fight? We get a scene where some of the rebels fight back and it takes about 60+ casualties to take out about 6 guards. They’re never going to win the war like that and the Capital can just fire off a missile to even the odds in an instant. Everything is completely stacked on the side of evil and a few arrows aren’t going to stop that. This is just a case of the villain’s getting too much resources on their side for a believable ending to occur.

The film’s overall bleak tone also doesn’t help it develop any moments to help it rise up the ranks. There are no moments for you to cheer or grin in excitement. Almost every scene involves someone getting blown up, remembering explosions, or fearing the inevitable. That doesn’t make for a very compelling film and a different main character really could have helped that. I do have to give props Katniss’ sister though for remembering her cat through thick and thin. Protecting one’s pet is a duty that must be taken seriously no matter what trouble arises.

Since this is a pretty negative review, I thought that I should quickly mention a few little things that would have helped the film a lot. Giving Katniss Captain Kirk’s courage would have been a solid start. Next up, give the villains less screentime so that we can see Katniss get a new weapon to help her even the fight. Third, make an explosive EMP that permanently disables a lot of the Capital’s tech. It’s the only thing that can really make this a fair fight. Finally, cut out Peeta’s scenes and some of the scenes where the rebels are just getting beat up by the army. We’re watching a blockbuster, not a tragedy film. I think these changes could have easily helped the film double or triple its score.

Overall, I really didn’t like this installment. I still think that the books worked better as books than movies. Nothing really happens here and there are no likable characters. Once that happens…the film is basically doomed no matter what else happens. The next film should still be a step up, but I wouldn’t count on a giant ratings boost. It’ll be good enough…and I suppose that it’ll have to do. If you want to see a film that’s playing in the theaters right now, I’d recommend just waiting until the next DBZ film comes out in a few months and taking a quick trip to Japan. Your alternative is just checking out Age of Ultron in a few months.

Overall 2/10