Category Archives: 3 Star Movies

Alligator II: The Mutation Review

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It’s time to see just how powerful an alligator can be! The first film was pretty terrible but maybe this one would be an improvement? I do think it was the better film although I ultimately still can’t say that it was a good one. The main problem is of course that with an evil alligator on the loose, you know that some animal violence will be soon to follow. The movie actually keeps itself a bit more tame than I would usually expect in this genre though so I will give it some credit here. Not a ton of credit mind you….but some.

The movie starts with two fishermen underestimating the terrors of the night as they are murdered by a giant alligator. This area has been heckled by the wealthy businessman named Vincent for a long while as he is trying to buy out all of the land and so they figure he had something to do with it. In a sense they’re right, but it’s not like they can prove it. So David decides to look into this as he’s used to doing things against the book as a cop. Unfortunately it’ll be difficult since Vincent has bought out the mayor and so now the cops are forced to be rather hands off. Vincent’s certainly not going to be of any help so David has to work with the rookie cop Rich in order to stop this threat. Meanwhile Vincent hires some pros of his own to do the job in the sneak. Which group will destroy the alligator first?

I guess corruption and evil millionaires are par for the course when it comes to these evil animal films. Vincent definitely carries himself well though. I appreciate all of the threats and he really did have the mayor cornered throughout the movie. Near the end he even managed to get him alone to finish the job. Vincent’s one of those villains who never let his guard down and by the end of the film it took quite a lot of people to defeat him. Most impressive I gotta say.

The mayor looked rather terrible throughout though. As soon as you let people blackmail you the way that he did, there is no way out. They’re just going to keep on doing it, over and over again until you are completely out of the running. I sort of expected that the mayor would do something but no, he just ended up staying scared all the way through to the end. His daughter Sherri had a lot more backbone as she was trying to fight against the injustice.

On the heroes side, we had the rookie cop, Rich. That guy wasn’t very good though. Letting himself get drunk is a terrible idea since a cop always needs to be ready. He also misses his shots when it counts so he’s not really the guy I would want to watch my back. He’s not a terrible character or anything but he is unreliable and that’s a really important factor in a mission like this.

David does well as the main cop. This is clearly not his first rodeo and he handles himself like an absolute professional. It’s what you would expect from the main character. He’s more concerned with justice than following the rules and that’s why he gets the job done. He has the respect of the people within the neighborhood for this same reason. The rest of the characters are definitely not able to catch him. Now the film does make it a point to show that he does take this a bit far to the point of obsession where he won’t be home much and that makes things tough on his wife and kid. He can probably find a better middle ground but at least he is getting results.

His wife also does well here as her scientist specialty helps her figure out different things like a possible weakness for the big alligator. It’s always nice to see both members of the main couple contributing like this. We also got some help from one of the local gator experts. He actually puts up a fight and lasts for a little while which is nice since initially his group was not looking very impressive at all. For a while there I was starting to think that they were all frauds.

The movie can’t avoid the animal violence in the end though as we do inevitably have to see the alligator get taken down. Additionally, it’s a shame for the gator since he doesn’t actually get a ton of screentime. Half the time when he’s eating people you aren’t really seeing him but at least his presence is felt throughout the movie. You may have been expecting a huge cliffhanger for this film like the first but surprisingly that’s not really the case.

The film also has a difficult time trying to make you buy into the main romance that is set up between the rookie and the mayor’s daughter here. I mean, finding the guy locked in the bathroom is not a great first impression and I would argue things only look worse for him from there. The main couple is already married which makes that romance a lot easier.

In the end I feel like the human plot was a lot more engaging than the animal stuff. I could have had fun with the whole thing being about Vincent trying to take over the neighborhood and shooting anyone in his way. He was clearly good at this and had the political power to pull this off. I’ll take the conspiracy stuff any day as opposed to the evil animal plot where the animal is really minding his own business and doesn’t want to fight. You feel bad for the creature.

Overall, Alligator II isn’t a whole lot of fun. It’s a decent adventure and another short film so the pacing is fine but it’s not really doing anything different with the creature. The alligator crawls around and looks menacing but that’s about it for most of the animal scenes. You are rooting for him to take down all the pesky humans invading his turf and it’s not nearly as bloody as something like Piranha. Still, the alligator is going to get stabbed and then blown to bits and you don’t want to see that. I’d recommend skipping this one. If you have to watch an evil animal film then it beats a lot of the alternatives, but it still doesn’t quite step into the realm of being a good movie.

Overall 3/10

Child’s Play (1972) Review

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It’s time for a film with a lot of suspense as you know something strange is going on but you don’t know exactly what it is. Well, it definitely succeeds in being a rather eery film with the kind of atmosphere that is hard to match nowadays. That said, the resolution isn’t particularly satisfying and just about all of the characters have to consistently drop the ball in order for the film’s events to play out in this way. It makes you wish that some real adults would show up already.

The film starts off by showing us that the children in a local Catholic School have all gone absolutely crazy. They are terrorizing each other and the events are only escalating. In particular they all seem to dislike one teacher, Malley who is infamously known as Lash. The guy is a really harsh teacher, someone who demands absolute respect and holds the kids to a high standard. Another teacher named Dobbs is always saying that he wants Malley to go easier on the boys but the guy refuses. Meanwhile Malley mentions that e is being harassed a whole lot as well as his sickly mother. He blames it all on Dobbs while Dobbs says that he is crazy. Meanwhile an alumni named Paul shows up to be the new gym teacher but really doesn’t know what he is getting into.

There’s a mix of supernatural elements here as well as a more practical enemy. It’s an odd balance as you can’t totally tell where one part ends and the other begins. I assume that is intentionally left up to your interpretation. The supernatural part was also necessary because otherwise it’s just hard to believe that things would have gone this bad this quickly. There are hundreds of boys in the Catholic school and yet a huge amount of them have turned rogue. It’s all very calculated and then the victims don’t even fight back and if anything just make it easier to become the next victims. Nothing at this school really makes sense.

So that’s really a big part of the mystery that Paul needs to figure out. The guy is really out of his depth from the start though and just being away from the kids for a few minutes is enough for the next person to be turned into a victim. With speed like that, you really have to be perfect in order to prevent anything from going on. It’s an unrealistic burden that nobody can possibly live up to. And yet, that is the burden that he ultimately has to bear as long as he’s here. Honestly he should have ducked out right away but I give him bravery points for sticking it out.

He’s just not too smart about it all. Remember that at least 20 kids are going around causing these issues and attacking other students. Paul is an adult but he’s only around 20, barely older than the other students. If it becomes a 20 on 1 fight, realistically Paul won’t be able to do much of anything. Yet, he easily allows himself to be alone in an environment where there is nobody to back him up. Just no common sense there at all.

I’m also unclear why the police haven’t gotten involved. Sure, the school isn’t contacting folks, but the hospital has records and then you also have the parents who should be getting more and more vocal with how often this has been going on. By the end the situation is finally being handled but it sure took a very long while. Everyone within the school takes some blame among the faculty because they were way too lenient and slow to react.

Dobbs does his best to look like the kind teacher the whole time but does tend to lay things on a bit thick. He does a good job of always looking very concerned and only blows up on occasion. He does come off as more reasonable than Malley although that guy isn’t actually that bad. He’s strict, but never abusive or anything like that. He doesn’t lay a hand on the students and while he blasts them about their mistakes, all of the students do make a lot of mistakes. Ultimately when everyone fails like this, it does reflect most on the teacher though. So I would say he probably needs to improve on his own curriculum here.

As for all of Malley’s concerns like the terrorizing phone calls, weird magazines, etc. The main message here is to not let yourself get gaslit. When things are happening, you always have to trust yourself above all to know that it’s real no matter how many people say you’re lying. I’m a little surprised he couldn’t take a more active approach to all of this though. There is no guarantee of success for anything of course but if he had brought in physical evidence or started recording the calls or contacting the police, something could have happened. You have to disrupt the status quo at the very least. If he’s sure that Dobbs is the one doing it, then he has to do something about this or it’ll only get worse.

I would say the main thing holding the film back here is how mean spirited it could get and of course how nobody was doing anything about this. There is quite a lot of bullying going on here and since the victims can’t fight back either due to the supernatural element or full on fear, the adults had to step up. Every time they have a meeting with 0 results you have to shake your head. It felt like a film where the ending had no real hope from the beginning. So it’s like you’re on a slow ride to dark end with no hope of getting out in sight. Doesn’t quite make for the most enjoyable kind of experience right?

Overall, Not every film has a happy ending and a horror film makes that even more likely. How good these films will be can usually e boiled down to how solid the characters are and if you felt like there was at least some hope along the way. Some point where you could be having fun during the movie. That’s never really the case here and while there are several teachers, they all tend to be rather useless when it counts. The movie is very much a slow burner but when the characters are helpless to stop the impending evil, it’s not the most effective approach. If you like really sinister kinds of films with this atmosphere then you may enjoy this one but ultimately while it is a step above the average slasher kind of film, I still wouldn’t call it a good horror title.

Overall 3/10

Earth Girls Are Easy Review

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It’s time for a rather rough romantic comedy. This is the kind of film that comes to mind for most people who aren’t really into the genre. It’s super cheesy and none of the characters are likable. The romance is super rushed and the whole film will make you cringe a whole lot. There just isn’t much here to really enjoy. I appreciate that the film is really having fun messing around here and there is a lot of energy to the film but unfortunately it never quite makes the leap to being good.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Valerie who is currently in a rather frustrating relationship with Ted. He seems to have grown bored of her and pays her 0 mind whenever he is around. She doesn’t realize that he’s been cheating on her for a while now but ends up catching him in the act. She kicks him out and is wondering what to do next when she ends up bumping into a trio of aliens who crash landed in her pool. The main one is named Mac and he quickly takes a liking to her. Well, all 3 are desperate for a girl and like her but Mac ends up being the only one with a serious sideplot. Will Valerie rebound with this alien or will she take Ted back?

I would say the first problem here is how much of a doormat Valerie is. She catches Ted cheating on her and then all it takes is a few nice words from him and she is ready to take him back again? Just a really bad look on her part. You’ll be shaking your head the whole time. This happens multiple times mind you. He yells at her about how the wedding is off and makes a huge scene with the cops…then he acts nice and she takes him back yet again. It’s just such a bad romance.

Of course the goal is to make Ted look as shallow and fake as possible, but the problem is the way that it was executed also makes Valerie look really bad. It’s a lose lose situation as a result and that’s the real problem here. They should have had her not take him back at all and throughout the film he is trying to win her over/take down the aliens. That would have made a lot more sense and wouldn’t have destroyed Valerie’s character as well.

Additionally, the rebound with the alien also doesn’t do her character any favors because it seems like she just doesn’t really know what she wants. She’ll basically take any guy who will give her attention and that’s not how you write a good main character. Her best friend is also able to easily influence her, so it further shows that Valerie doesn’t really have a whole lot of strength of will. She can just be blown away by the tide. That’s true for most of the girls in this film to be honest so it’s not like any of them looked all that good. Her best friend was nice enough but certainly not responsible in the slightest. The kind of person who will always get you into trouble because none of the fun is really planned ahead. The friend just goes off of vibes and instinct which is a recipe for disaster.

The aliens are unfortunately annoying as well. The film decides to go the route of their being brainless. The problem is that this doesn’t really make sense since in the initial scene they seemed normal. Desperate of course since they were talking about girls right from the jump but at least they did have some reason. Once they crash land, they may as well be mindless brutes with how they play around with all of the objects. Them not knowing Earth customs is one thing but they didn’t know anything. They eat Valerie’s fish, make a mess of the whole house, etc. They were super annoying and naturally this meant they were on my bad side from the start.

The film actually tries to give Mac a serious romance plot as well which will also have you shaking your head. It just doesn’t make any kind of sense. The ending is trying to be wholesome but you can’t take it seriously and that is how the whole film plays out. None of the jokes are particularly funny. The only thing I can really say in the film’s defense is that it has quick pacing. There is always a lot going on and it’s not like you are ever going to get bored.

On the flip side, the film does resort to fanservice very often. It’s clear that the writers were not super confident in their own product so they had to go low-brow for most of the film. It feels like a Charlie’s Angels experience at times. Not a good recipe for easy laughs, if anything it just shows you how desperate the film is. It certainly did not win the movie any points and by this part of the film, it’s not like it could really afford to lose any either. All around, a rough time here.

Overall, While the review may sound harsh, this movie just tripped into all of the possible issues it could land on with a rom-com like this. The most important thing you have to do in order to make this film a success is to be funny and unfortunately this one was not funny. The next most important step is to at least have a decent romance and we didn’t get that either. This is the kind of movie that serves as a warning on what not to do in this kind of experience. I would definitely recommend you to stick away from this film, especially if you disagree with the film’s title. I guess if you believe it, the film makes a strong case for this though. The aliens have every girl wanting to be with them even though they can barely talk or do anything. It makes all of the girls in this film look really shallow.

Overall 3/10

In From The Night Review

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It’s time for another really dramatic Hallmark title and I’m afraid to say that this one is going a bit too far into the dramatic territory. They make the kid a little too unlikable for most of the film and there isn’t much room for resolutions when even with 20 minutes left in the film we’re still dealing with issues. It takes too long to arrive at the happy ending which is a problem that drama films tend to have at some points. It needed to lighten up a bit.

The movie starts by introducing us to Vicky who has been working on a book for 10 years but has serious writer’s block. She has finally been invited to a really prestigious author’s retreat though where she will be paired with an experienced mentor. The only thing she wasn’t counting on was her nephew Bobby showing up unannounced. He seems to have had a tough time of things as he can barely speak and suffers from large nightmares. Vicky needs to find a way to help him but this could end up destroying her career. What can she do?

The film definitely lays out how it can be difficult to navigate the family circumstances here. For starters, Bobby’s parents were insane from the jump and were never fit to be parents. At one point it got so bad that the rest of the family had to show up and take Bobby out of there but eventually they returned and took him back. Many years passed and the damage was done but the parents can still come back at any time. Vicky knows good and well that the parents will have the edge in any custody case so she has to be careful not to provide Bobby with any false hope while trying to keep him safe.

The time factor is also difficult as Bobby is nearly at college age so when you’re dealing with years of abuse, it’s not like you can fix it in an instant. Vicky does her best though and from the start I would say she handles it well. She quickly consults with a lawyer to deal with the legal stuff and on the family level she also makes sure to work on the resources that she has on hand with helping him feel comfortable at her place. When getting him to other nice relatives doesn’t work, she is quick to take him back to her home.

So I have no issues with Vicky. She’s a great lead character. The romance plot perhaps moves a little too quickly with the other author but the film doesn’t dwell on that much at least. Then we have Bobby where unfortunately most of my issues go. Obviously he’s been through a whole lot of abuse so it’s expected that he will be a bit off. He doesn’t have many social cues and makes his share of mistakes in terms of not knowing what to do. That is all fine, but where my issues come in is where he makes a bunch of friends with the wrong crowd. It just didn’t add up to me that he let a bunch of randoms crash at his place. You’d think that would just make him feel even more uncomfortable.

Then he lets them trash the place and also plays loud rock music at times. It’s lucky that there were no close neighbors to cause a problem. It felt like this just didn’t have an obvious correlation with what he endured as a kid so I didn’t know why he was acting out like this. I would have expected him to be really quiet or something which would make sense but standing out in all of these ways just felt weird. It takes him a long while to finally get back into control. So long that we’re at the end of the film by then.

That leads to another issue which is that the film doesn’t have much time for happy scenes. The movie is basically over by this point and so the film definitely lived up to the drama subplot but there isn’t a whole lot else. As a result, the film just isn’t a whole lot of fun to watch and certainly has no replay value. I would have cut out the plot with all the random toxic friends and probably would have removed the rock music as well. Have him be really quiet until Vicky is able to break through to him.

That just seems like it would make the most sense. I also think the subplot with his parents could have been handled better. Vicky’s mother continues to believe that they aren’t that bad and that Vicky should talk to them while Vicky wants nothing to do with them. Vicky has the correct position, especially after we see what they did with Bobby. The film awards too much sympathy to the father where he is broken down by the end and wants Vicky to talk to his wife. There is just no way that should ever happen and I also don’t give the father any slack here. He could have stopped the abuse at any point if he wanted to and yet he did nothing. He’s really just as guilty here.

I would have preferred if Vicky had just told him to get lose and reaffirmed that she would never see the wife again. Both of them just seem absolutely crazy and are well past the point of no return. Yeah they’ve got serious issues but they’re adults and could have taken steps to correct this. The instant they went after their son and gave him such a rough upbringing, the idea of any sympathy towards them was completely gone.

Overall, In from the Night is a film about how tough it can be to rebuild a life once it has been thoroughly broken down. It’s a film that is tackling a rather tough subject. I wouldn’t say it tackles the subject super well though and definitely stumbles to the finish line. There are a lot of things I would change with this film but ultimately the best thing to do is probably to skip it. This one isn’t going to hold a candle to the average Hallmark film. Those tend to be a lot more fun and have the right balance that this one lacks. This one is just too dreary for most of its run.

Overall 3/10

Congo Review

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Congo is a film that really didn’t impress me. For starters this film doesn’t actually deal with the killer gorillas for a very long time. This is really more of a classic adventure film. A lot of time it spent showing just how frantic things can get over in the Congo and the heroes have to constantly keep alert because things can go sideways at any point. So that’s an interesting approach to be sure but you need the characters to be really likable for that and these weren’t.

The movie starts with a group managing to finally find the location that should have tons of rare diamonds and minerals within the Congo. The corporate overlord is going to be super rich now and so he is really excited but then they are all viciously destroyed by some kind of creature over there. The CEO can’t have that and so he sends Karen over there to go and finish the job before the government hears about this and closes the borders. Her best option is to hitch a ride with the talking gorilla Amy as well as his trainer Peter. Peter’s not thrilled about having her around but is basically forced into it since he doesn’t have enough money for the trip. The heroes all begin their journey but quickly find that this will be a very dangerous adventure. Can they survive?

Technically speaking I’m fine with the film being a bit of a bait and switch with this not actually involving the evil gorillas for a long while. That means less animal violence and all but it almost feels like the film can be a bit aimless at times. Yes Karen wants to get over to the site where the people died but Peter doesn’t know about this and so he’s just following Amy around. The heroes also get a ton of different setbacks throughout the film like when they are attacked at different points and have to dive out of the plane. It takes a long while to get anywhere when everyone is after them.

The film peaks near the beginning when the heroes make it to the airport and there is a big war going on with the planes being bombed. They meet their guide known as Monroe who ends up being the real MVP here. He has a lot of experience and helps them get across the worst areas. He also adds a lot of the humor to the film with his little jabs here and there. Without him I’m not even sure if the heroes would have made it off the airport. He was incredibly helpful at all times here.

Richard is probably the most pointless character of the film and you wonder why he is even here. He works with Peter but the guy is much more of a scaredy cat. He also doesn’t have any common sense like when he wants to make a break for it all of a sudden while in the truck trying to get out of occupied territory. He would have been shot as soon as he exited the truck so that would be a dumb move and he spends most of the film whining.

Herkermer is also useless for most of it but at least that is very intentional. The guy is a scam artist who is always getting in the way and causing trouble. He acts like he has a lot of money but instead what he has is a lot of ambition. He wants to get mega rich and that’s basically why he is here. The guy is certainly not ready to earn money through an honest living.

As for Peter, he’s not bad. At times he can be a little annoying as well but at least he is trying to help Amy get home for noble reasons. He’s probably the only character in the film without any kind of agenda. The rest are all after something while he’s just here for justice. That said, it wouldn’t hurt to have had a little ambition and I think keeping the diamond in the end would have been a really good idea. At least I would think so.

Karen is good under pressure and doesn’t scare easy. She may be a bit naive at times and underestimates corporate, but she still gets the job done in the end. She was a fun character to have around, and she put up with a lot of drama from Amy but stayed strong. Meanwhile Amy was a solid character here. The idea of a talking gorilla through the technology was a pretty good idea. In general, that kind of tech would be absolutely revolutionary.

Naturally the climax tends to hurt with the animal violence as the heroes have to deal with the gorillas. The film also got generally violent at random points. Not just the climax but the intro where a guy gets absolutely massacred and we even see an eye. It’s pretty brutal stuff and reminds you that this isn’t your average adventure film. Otherwise, honestly the first half of the film could have worked as a part comedy. It’s just the kind of film that you really can’t let your guard down around at all.

Not that it would help much at all since the film would run into the same animal violence issues but a better climax would have been to make this much more widespread. Have the army show up and add about 3X the amount of gorillas and make this a whole big war. It would have helped capture the threat a lot better that way and would have been an explosive way to end things. At the very least it would make sure you felt like you were getting your money’s worth on the thriller elements here.

Overall, Congo wasn’t really my cup of tea. Films about evil animals rarely are as you can’t really avoid the animal violence in those. You can probably try to work around this to an extent but it will usually be futile. It’s not like the characters were all that great either so that’s another thing to consider. If you liked Jurassic Park then this one will probably be too subdued for you and if you want an adventure film then you could do much better than this one. So all in all you have plenty of better avenues to pursue with the genres in order to have a more satisfying experience. Congo will need to remain hidden in your memories this time.

Overall 3/10

Blind Spot Review

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It’s time for a Hallmark movie but it’s definitely one of those more dramatic ones that doesn’t quite live up to the Hallmark standard. The characters end up being super annoying for the most part and keep on making bad decisions. There are some bad decisions that you can overlook but in other cases it is just too much. When your bad decisions start to affect others, then you have absolutely lost the plot.

The movie starts with Nell working on her cause to promote the dangers of Global Warming. She has been telling people about this for years and has been moving up the government rankings. Unfortunately, her son in law dies in a tragic car accident which also injures her pregnant daughter Phoebe. What’s even worse is that apparently he had been doing drugs the whole time and her daughter had even been in on it different times. Phoebe even has drugs right before giving birth so now that’s something her kid will have to deal with for a whole lifetime. This threatens not only Nell’s relationship with her daughter but also her relationship to her husband Simon. Will she be forced to put her career aside to mend this family?

I would say off the top the biggest thing that limits the film itself is that it’s hard to be too sympathetic to Phoebe here. Taking drugs is an awful thing to do at any age and the fact that she was doing this as early as 12 is not a good sign for her character What’s even worse is doing this while she was pregnant. Now you’re harming your own child and then Phoebe ditches her newborn baby to go on a drinking spree. She continues to double down on her mistakes throughout the movie and is always quick to blame Nell.

Phoebe isn’t even able to take responsibility for her own choices and has a victim mindset the entire time. It’s important to never blame other people for what has happened to you. It’s the easy way out and a total cop out. At the end of the day you have to take ownership for what has happened and make a conscientious decision to change yourself. If you don’t do that then you’re only going to continue down the rabbit hole because you can always say that it’s someone else’s fault.

Even by the very end of the film it doesn’t feel like Phoebe is out of the woods. She still had a drink and was close to breaking down. It’s good that she’s self aware about it but it would have been nice if the film could have had a more wholesome ending. Then we have Simon who has the same issues of blaming others Every time something happens with Phoebe, he is quick to throw some pot shots in at Nell. It felt like he would never waste an opportunity and then it was back to the blame game back and forth. I tended to agree with Nell here that at the end of the day he would agree. He seems to try and say that he only did because she pressured him into doing so but that’s a real weak excuse. He knows good and well what he says each time and so he has to either own it or not say anything.

Yeah I really didn’t like very many characters here. I guess I liked Nell’s agent who was good at damage control but that was about it. As for Nell, she was better than the other main characters but was portrayed as far too dense at times. Constantly interrupting in the meeting with Phoebe to try and give her own answers the whole time just wasn’t smart. Then wanting to have Phoebe go in front of the world to talk about being a drug addict? That’s incredibly tone deaf and it takes a very long time for Nell to get with the program.

She shouldn’t let herself be gaslit into being upset that she has worked so hard on her job but she should be self aware enough to see the damage it has caused and not try to prop it up the whole time. This is one of those drama films where it feels like the drama has absolutely been played up a whole lot for the adventure. As a result the film makes sure that none of the characters are likable by the end.

It also means that the film can move on rather slowly since the pacing dies early on. It just won’t end up being one of your favorite films at the end of the day and it is lacking in the fun factor. It’s why drama films need some other genre in there to spice things up like being part comedy or something. A pure drama film is going to usually end up being way too dramatic at the expense of everything else. That comes at an absolutely huge cost.

Overall, Blind Spot was not one of my favorite films. It had some interesting ideas I guess but it’s usually going to be hard to make a film about drug addiction be all that enjoyable. It is a serious vice and one that can be hard to conquer. It’s why interventions are important and often times you will need help to break it. The best thing to do is to never start with it in the first place. If you can stay away then that will mitigate the temptations and obviously you should also make sure not to have friends who are really into drugs. No matter how much you say they won’t get to you, it always remains as a possibility. Why even put yourself in that situation? Well, unless you enjoy seeing the blame game be put on constant display, this is a film I would recommend skipping. It’s definitely not on point compared to the average Hallmark film, I can say that with confidence.

Overall 3/10

Four Guns to the Border Review

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Oh no we’re back to the really bad westerns. I’d actually had a good run of it lately with solid westerns but this one falls into all of the old traps. You have the horse getting shot because he was injured, the terrible romance starting with a guy forcing himself onto a lady, terrible characters everywhere, yeesh. Yeah there was no real saving this movie and it only got worse the more you went into the film.

The film starts by introducing us to 4 crooks trying to rob a bank. Fortunately the safe was empty so they are foiled and have to run off. They figure they will bump off another bank next but along the way bump into an old man and his daughter. All 4 are immediately interested in the girl although they are all told to mind their business. Unfortunately she isn’t the smartest character either and tends to allow herself to be in situations with them alone. She even leaves her room in the dead of night during a storm to walk around which wasn’t smart. She isn’t afraid of anybody which is not a real smart tactic in the west. Can her father keep her safe?

Her character is just so bad though. Somehow the film tries to present the whole thing as romantic when the guy is really gruff with her and not respecting her boundaries at all. I’ve seen plenty of films with romances that have not aged well but this one might take the cake. It just really doesn’t make any sense and it’s as if she got Stockholm syndrome immediately. It just doesn’t make any sense and this causes her to run away from her father which ends up injuring her horse who has to be shot. She has no real sense of safety or security and just brings more and more trouble with her.

Obviously the 4 crooks are to blame here as well but they are villains. You’re not expecting much out of them in the first place. In particular there’s really one guy who ends up getting with her several times even though he tries to act like he’s above all that. The guy has no real standards or self respect, it’s no wonder why he has not been a very successful thief at the moment. He’s just going to keep on fumbling at the end.

A big problem with having villains as the lead figures in a film is that they tend to be unlikable and this one is no exception. Every time the characters are planning, you’re just hoping that they will fail. The problem is that we don’t even get to meet the cops until near the end and when they show up, the main guy isn’t the most level headed fighter. He lets himself be baited into a fight multiple times instead of just arresting the villain. When you are the sheriff you have to put the people first and that means just shutting down any villain who approaches. There is really no time for personal vendettas at that point. Then he was even losing in that fight which was unfortunate.

I would argue that none of the villains really learned their lesson either. The film definitely has a body count so at least a few of them got bumped off but then for the last one, he really only surrenders because he has to. I would still think of him as a villain the whole time and the girl made the wrong decision in wanting to be with him. This is taking the whole “liking the bad boy” thing to a crazy level. He even gives all the worst answers to her questions about if he’s been with someone before and she still doesn’t care. She just says she’ll love him more than the others.

Deciding to just sacrifice your happy life to be with a criminal is something I just couldn’t understand. So that’s already a whole lot against the film and as for the fights, well at least we got some. The Indians show up and they managed to take down the guy by the empty shop in the middle of nowhere. I’m always up for a good gunfight but it’s not like it’s anything particularly unique here. So the film needed to have other solid areas to really keep this above water and unfortunately that just never happened.

Maybe letting the heroine’s father go all out against the crooks would have helped the film to be more on the solid side. He should have finished off the first crook when he caught the guy with his daughter and from there he should have opened fire on the others. Even if he ended up losing or got shot back, it would have been a good moment to show that he wasn’t messing around. The guy had a pretty good reputation for being a solid shot after all so showing him take down a few of these punks would have been nice.

Maybe also exploiting how the team was always fighting. There were two members of the group who were always going at it after all. Trick them into fighting and then you beat the other two. It wouldn’t take much to start a fight between them from what we saw so that would have really been a fun way to go. Ah well, too bad that wasn’t the case here, would have been a more interesting movie.

Overall, I would not recommend this one. It needed to have had a much bigger emphasis on the sheriff for starters. At least that would have left things off on a good note. Without that, well the film was not really going anywhere. The town had some interesting characters like one lady who always carried a gun with her. The film should have been building up to the 4 crooks trying to raid this town and then getting blown away. That would have been an infinitely better story. Also the heroine really should have been portrayed to be at least a little more intelligent and not just acting completely oblivious to everything the whole time. They literally offer her candy like a baby and she accepts. Not her best moment. This is one of the weaker westerns that I’ve seen and I highly recommend staying far away from it.

Overall 3/10

The Boys From Brazil Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those really grim movies. The kind of title where you know it’s not going to have a super shiny ending and the path to getting there will be very difficult. Definitely not for the faint of heart. That being said, either way this is not a film I would be likely to recommend. The plot certainly takes a turn by the end but it’s not the kind of turn that was going to save the movie.

The movie starts off with a kid named Barry finding out about a big Nazi scheme. This is big enough where all of their most important players are meeting up and so he quickly contacts the legendary Nazi hunter Ezra. Unfortunately Ezra doesn’t really believe him and is in a bad mood which leads to the villains murdering Barry before he can say more. When Barry’s friend approaches Ezra, the hunter realizes that he can no longer ignore what is going on. So he begins to snoop around and ask questions but what he doesn’t realize is that this is a plot that has been in the works for many years. It will be difficult to stop the plan and even more difficult to stop it without big collateral damage.

I do have to say that Ezra being so slow to help was a little off putting. The whole point here is that he is a big Nazi hunter and yet when the opportunity presents itself he isn’t ready for it? I would have liked for him to have been a little more on the ball. Now it’s fair to say that Barry was going to die either way but it would have still been nice if he would have at least had the knowledge that someone would continue on with his work. Barry did well to find out so much with his little amount of time and connections.

Meanwhile the main villain Josef is a hard man to bring down. This guy has a lot of connections and of course he is very eager to start everything off. The guy has been waiting for this moment for many years and absolutely does not hesitate. I wouldn’t expect him to either although at least one of his minions isn’t quite as gung-ho about the whole thing. At the end of the day it’s not much of a distinction though as he still goes through with the orders. Whether you follow them reluctantly or eagerly, the end result is what counts.

The villains are Nazis after all and the film doesn’t hesitate to remind you just how cruel they are. They run live experiments on both humans and animals, they viciously murder their opponents, etc. If you were expecting some kind of mercy or a softer look then think again. It’s definitely good that they don’t downplay the atrocities the Nazis committed but at the same time it does limit the movie.

It makes the experience more of a quiet somber one. At the very least it can be depressing to see the fact that so many of them were still alive and kicking there. There are enough for them to be in different companies, at parties, etc. Yeah you were definitely hoping they would all be bumped off. Meanwhile Ezra needed to step up his game as a hunter and take more of them down. From the accolades we know that he has taken a whole lot of them down but of course there are always more and that’s where things get tricky.

We do get to see some of Josef’s good detective skills at work though as he starts to interview people and put together dates in order to really close the noose around the villains. He pieces things together fairly quickly and also knows when to play hard ball like when he forced the lady to answer his final question. He was definitely getting that answer before he walked out of the facility.

So while I do have big issues with how he acted at first, at least later on he got with the program. He’s a lot older at this point so you can expect there to be no real fight scenes but he still gets to have his deductive moments. His sister Esther is also very useful in the film as she helps in an administrative role. As always it is good to have someone on your side. When you’re alone then the danger really starts to creep up on you.

Now the title of the film may have you confused but by the end it makes sense. That’s where the film hits you with the tough moral question of what you can do here. It sort of depends how hard you buy into the sci-fi angle here. In general I do find it hard to choose any option of punishing someone before the crime was actually committed. While the characters did already seem insane, it can still be a dangerous leap to try and neutralize everyone. I suppose I would probably lean on the main character’s decision here if pushed into a corner but ideally they should all be monitored. It’s just a tough call because that wasn’t going to happen. They would either all be slaughtered or you could prevent them from being found. When you are limited to those two choices then leaving them alive is probably best although things might get dicey for the world.

The film can get surprisingly violent at times. I would say the worst of it is still off screen but there is a body count to be sure. At the end of the day it’s a film that doesn’t really hold back at all and I would say there’s a number of scenes you could cut out. Ultimately though the biggest weakness really comes down to the fact that it feels like an investigation without much of an ending. When you really think about it, not much has changed since the beginning. At least some characters know what is going on now but the program was not fully stopped. Now it’s just a matter of nature vs nurture.

Overall, The Boys from Brazil definitely has an odd tone about it. It’s a thriller but not in an action sense and more in a rather strange kind of view. You see the dark underbelly of what’s going on without any true way for the heroes to come out on top. I can’t say there is a lot of fun to be had here, nor is there a whole lot of replay value. In the end this means you should probably check out another film instead, you can do better than this one.

Overall 3/10

Training Day Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about learning how to set boundaries. If you aren’t comfortable in setting those up then you can be sure that there will always be someone ready to run you over. You have to know what you don’t want to do so that you can’t be pressured into doing it. Well, the main character is about to learn that the hard way. This film ultimately suffers from the issue of not having any real likable characters though. It’s going for a very hood type vibe the whole time and in its pursuit of being as edgy as possible, the writing also ends up taking a huge hit.

The film starts off with Jake getting ready for his first day in his new NARC position. It’s effectively a training evaluation so he will be out all day. It’s supposed to be a very stressful experience so he’s ready for it to be over but will put his best foot forward. Unfortunately his partner is a guy named Alonzo who doesn’t exactly have a rep for following the rules. Alonzo gives him a tough time as soon as he day starts and doesn’t really let up from there. He wants to show Jake how meaningless everything is and how corrupt the area turned out to be. He wants Jake to do things his way or it will be curtains for him. Jake is desperate for a passing grade, but just how far will he end up going here?

I would argue that Jake makes a whole lot of mistakes right from the jump here. For starters it is true that you may have to put up with a certain level of nonsense on the job but direct disrespect is another matter entirely. Jake needed to really be fighting back from the start at the coffee shop when Alonzo was acting crazy but especially once they got in the car and Alonzo is talking about Jake cheating on his wife and trying to objectify their colleagues. Jake needed to put a hard stop to that even if it meant having to look for a new job. Putting up with that nonsense is bad enough because it shows you to be a wallflower but it also continues the decent into madness for the work environment. It’s just not something you can afford to let happen.

I would say Jake had no hope the instant he agreed to do drugs in the car just to keep Alonzo happy. That was just way too far and Jake is meant to be the more heroic cop who sticks up for what’s right. He does make better decisions later on and is obviously better than Alonzo but I would have liked to have seen him hold up a higher standard. I needed a super likable character in this movie to help it take things to the next level. For example, that’s part of why the movie isn’t very fun. Everything is super corrupt to an almost comical degree.

Throughout the film we see how basically everyone is in on the take. Alonzo is able to direct a judge, powerful politicians, and basically doesn’t have to report to work. All of the gangs know him and basically have to listen to the guy because he’s so feared. He’s evidently gotten away with things for a very long time now and we never even get to meet any of the good cops here who could have helped out. It ends up feeling like a very small world, a contrived one at that. There just isn’t really any hope for anybody here. Jake’s only chance is really to get out.

Alonzo does make for an intense antagonist, I’ll give him that much. He is clearly not the kind of guy that you want to go up against because he would murder you without a second thought. He also has a considerable amount of allies so you can’t just go at him without expecting a much larger fight. Maybe it’s for the best that he wasn’t even remotely likable since he’s a complete villain here but it also means that all of the screentime can be extra annoying.

The film also has to really bog us down in the very dark themes to really keep pushing in the point of what a bad area this is. Jake saves a girl from 3 guys who attacked her in an ally and Alonzo would have just left her there. The city is clearly as morally bankrupt as it gets and even after that, Jake follows Alonzo and gets walked into another trap. The whole poker game scene was a terrible look for the guy. Never hand your gun off to a bunch of drug dealers. Yeah he was already outnumbered and in a bad situation but handing over your gun is basically signing your death warrant. You can never do that.

I never understand in these films when someone drops their gun or hands it over for any reason. If you’re in a position where you might die, then you definitely keep your gun so at least the death will be fast as they all shoot back in retaliation. If you hand it over, then you may end up craving death by the time they’re done with you. Just a dumb decision and throughout the film it’s not as though there were any moments where the writing made me grin. All of the jokes are super crude and don’t even seem meant to be funny, the characters all seem evil except for the lead, etc. It’s just not a fun movie to watch as it’s just nonstop depression the whole time.

Overall, Training Day definitely wasn’t as good as I would have hoped. I was expecting a dynamic with one guy who does push the envelope quite a bit but more along the lines of a classic buddy cop film. Not as if the Joker was your partner as you terrorize everyone. If you want a good thriller, watch Die Hard instead. You can do a whole lot better than this film which really doesn’t end up aging well. Good luck finding any happy scenes throughout this film. At least the ending was satisfying.

Overall 3/10

Joy in the Morning Review

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They say that the best relationships involve two people who are friends as well as lovers. After all, you want to be able to hold a conversation together and should have some common interests right? Well that’s where things start to get rocky here because it just doesn’t feel like these two would be friends, let alone be married. There is basically nonstop drama here with both characters going quite far to the point where you can’t picture things going well. They’re just way too sensitive.

The film starts off with Annie and Carl messing around under the stairs where they are caught by her folks. They decide to quickly get married and dash off but things will not be easy. Carl isn’t financially sound quite yet and is having to work multiple jobs here in addition to his studies. They have a nice place to live but are very low on spending money. Meanwhile Annie wants to do her best to be a good wife but can be a bit naive and also succumbs to peer pressure like wanting to fit in and wear nice things. Soon the tension starts to climb up and the two characters will have to find a way to make things work.

Now when you’re broke and in a relationship, it’s only going to work if both people know what they’re getting into and are fine with it. The problem is that often they will say that they are okay and won’t actually feel that way. A good example is when Annie gets Carl a gift but he doesn’t have one for her. He even says that they talked about it and she admits that she lied about not needing a present. Definitely a bad look on her part there because that was the arrangement. Then there’s another instance where she spends money on a new outfit when it could have been put to use on more practical things. On the other hand Carl takes a job where he will be away all nights so now Annie will be by herself. Yeah it helps with the money but that’s another case where it’s better to be broke.

On the whole I was typically more on Carl’s side than Annie’s but they both made their share of mistakes. I’d say the problem is that most of their issues felt like things they should have discussed prior or could have discussed in the moment without it becoming such a big deal. Annie became friends with a local flower guy for example and Carl was super jealous so he would cause a scene right away. Causing a scene there wasn’t cool but he absolutely would have had a valid case for explaining to her afterwards that this friendship was trouble.

I’m not going for the Hollywood approach that guys and girls cannot be friends because that’s crazy but it was clear that she was being naive about the whole thing. She would let him get way too close like taking her shoes off and basically giving her a massage while they talked. Cmon now, that is an accident waiting to happen. So Carl has every right to be worried when she is acting like that but again, talking would have been a good first step here. Then Annie is dealing with a lot of trauma due to some rough events from her past and they come up on several occasions as she feels like she basically can’t be with Carl at times.

It comes and goes and it can be hard to predict when this will happen which is the roughest part for Carl. There’s no easy way to get past that but it would definitely continue to be a huge stumbling block in their marriage until it can be figured out. There are just so many problems they have throughout the film and by the end it really feels like they went past the point of no return. If anything the ending just tells you that things are going to get a whole lot worse because throwing another life into the equation is often just going to expand the range of issues.

The core problem for both characters is that they are way too emotional. Again, Carl isn’t quite as bad about this but he still does have the problem. Until they can properly talk like grown ups, the issues are only going to keep on coming. The parents get a sudden 180 character shift for the ending to give the appearance that things will go well but I get the feeling that will change again before long. They did not seem like the nicest of people on either side and that doesn’t tend to change.

At the end of the day, a big problem for the film is that because of all these elements, it’s just not a very fun title. For the most part it’s dramatic in a sad way where there isn’t going to be much of a happy ending over the horizon. The film’s tone just doesn’t seem to match the actual ending. It felt like the couple’s futile attempts at having a happy ending and for this kind of film to work it definitely needed them to reconcile a whole lot sooner. They’re at odds for almost 80% of the film I would say and only get a quick happy ending in the last minutes. Not sure how I feel about the flower guy being around as well. Yes in the end he turned out to not be a bad guy and we the audience know it, but Carl doesn’t. The film would have needed some scenes to show them becoming friends first. In a way that circles back to the earlier point which is that the film is too dreary. So scenes like this could have absolutely helped to fix that.

The writing is good enough and on the whole it’s not like this is a super hardcore dark film. It just feels like the film mistimed itself on the pacing. Maybe there should have been more time at the school. Cut out the plot about the heroine working for the rich folks with all of their moral bankruptcy struggles. You don’t really need that and the whole speech she gave about how sometimes people do bad things because they have a reason was a full miss for me. We don’t need those weak justifications. So skip that and use the extra time for some positive messages.

Overall, This film shows off the importance of not rushing into anything. Dating and courtships are around for a reason and that’s so you can get to know the other person first. Marriage can run purely on love but it’s not always going to lead to a happy outcome. By getting to know the other person for a while, you can at least make sure you have common ground on the things that matter. A film like this can try to show off a happy ending but with what went on during this adventure, most times it would not end up going quite so well. So that’s really something to keep in mind here. I’d definitely recommend watching something a bit lighter toned like Jingle All The Way.

Overall 3/10