Category Archives: 4 Star Movies

Moonraker Review

Posted on by
Reply


Moonraker continues the James Bond marathon as we actually get some sci-fi elements this time around. Personally I would say it does continue with the classic Bond vibe despite this. To me this is a very familiar kind of adventure so you shouldn’t worry about the space stuff feeling a bit off. The climax is certainly explosive to be sure but it’s not even one of the longer Bond climaxes.

The film starts with Moonraker, a space station being taken by a mysterious foe and so James Bond is called in. James Bond is known as 007, the top British secret service operative in the entire world. He also has a license to kill as needed. Surely Bond should be the man for the job, but it turns out that M16 isn’t the only agency interested in what’s going on in space. The CIA send in an agent named Holly and this provides Bond with someone that he can finally show off for. Bond is usually one step behind the villains and get clowned on consistently, but tends to fare better with other agents. Can he keep his mind on the task at hand or will his endless weakness for women be his demise?

Bond is one of those guys that you don’t really want in your corner. Yes, I recognize that he ultimately gets the job done but it certainly tends to be at a high price. A lot of bodies will roll by the time he stops the villain here and that is true in this case as well. You can’t always blame him for every event but it would be easier to sympathize with Bond if he wasn’t constantly distracted. The “romance” with Holly definitely won’t be impressing you as each one is just manipulating the other. There isn’t really any passion or development here.

It did lead to the best scene in the film though where Bond walks through her room and calmly disables every trap possible. It was one of the only scenes in a minute where Bond actually looked like the top ranked professional that he is supposed to be. That was absolutely impressive. I just wish we could see more of that Bond. In terms of fighting ability, Bond is pretty good without the film portraying him as invincible or anything like that. For example he is usually not going to defeat someone like Jaws and has to just try and get out of the area.

On one hand that is a good look for Jaws but not so much for Bond. Surely his mastery of the martial arts and other deadly forms of combat should be enough to make up for a strength difference right? This may just be an issue with the films not being more modern but Bond always seems to fight like a normal guy. He is always willing to step into the fight though so I’ll give him that and he does have a lot of confidence. You can always count on him to deliver with a strong one liner as needed.

I don’t like the guy but at least he has the charisma to hold a film. Meanwhile the heroine Holly is more proactive than some of the others. She may fall to Bond’s charms like the rest but at least she can fight. It would be smarter for her to carry a gun so that she can properly defend herself but at least she has a knife. I always like when they add in a second agency to these films so having her be from the CIA was a good move. Bond got to have a little backup in that way.

It was also nice to see Jaws return as the big villain here. He is definitely a true threat with how powerful he is. I do think his character switch at the end was pushing things though. I would have liked to have kept him as fully evil, just unwilling to listen to Drax out of self survival. That would have made more sense and unfortunately I wouldn’t have added his new girlfriend either since that whole plotline was too rushed. It just didn’t really make a lot of sense and someone like Jaws isn’t going to change so drastically in such a short amount of time.

Drax is more of a forgettable main villain. He’s definitely not very smart though with how easily he allows Bond to draw a rift between him an Jaws. You’d think that Drax would have been able to see through the bait but I guess he’s just not socially aware of what’s going on. Other villains wouldn’t have gone down so easily. Drax isn’t a fighter at any rate so he won’t end up being all that memorable anyway.

The action and special effects are good as always. The Star Wars type energy climax may come out of nowhere but it does look good so I can say that in favor of the film. The soundtrack isn’t particularly noteworthy but as always I do like the classic Bond theme. No matter how many times it plays or gets remixed, I’ll always find it to be pretty impressive. If the film could just stay away from all the fanservice and rushes romances then this could actually be a good series. Unfortunately as it stands, the Bond films tend to all get absolutely crushed when you’re watching them.

The film also gets some props for being long but never feeling all too drawn out. The action is consistent and the different set pieces are all unique so it’s not like the film starts blending into itself either. The pacing is good and the writing is nice. I always like when Bond bumps into another M16 base and all of the big shots happen to be there. In a way it feels like magic with how quickly they set everything up but I’ll chalk it up to their intelligence gathering truly being first rate.

Overall, Moonraker is one of those films that I wouldn’t recommend but it’s not as if it is significantly worse than the average Bond film. On the contrary it holds up to the others just fine and the space climax really isn’t bad. It’s just a shame that this is known as the outer space Bond film and yet they don’t actually leave Earth for a good chunk of the runtime. If the film really wanted to be bold, it should have made the majority of it take place out there.

Overall 4/10

The Spy Who Loved Me Review

Posted on by
Reply


It’s time for more Bond and this time he will have to deal with a rival who may even be on his level. The concept is definitely cool but as the film goes on, you realize that the rival is a paper one. I’ll explain more about that in a minute but needless to say this film still falls into the usual issues of a Bond film. Perhaps that is just the inevitable fate of most Bond adventures.

The film starts with showing us how both Bond and Anya are messing around despite being called the world’s greatest secret agents. Bond manages to murder a bunch of enemy agents as he heads back to base though. MI6 has called him in to find the missing nuclear submarine that someone stole from Russia. Naturally this is a pretty big deal since it is a national crisis. Russia has also sent in their best agent, Anya to find out what’s going on. Both of them will be crossing paths as they uncover the mystery behind this but can they keep their hands to themselves?

I do like the hook of finally seeing another secret agency in the forefront. Surprisingly the films don’t often do this. Sure, other agencies like the CIA are referenced but typically they tend to just get wrecked off screen. That said, the film doesn’t totally commit to the bit as Anya isn’t super skilled. Perhaps relative to some of the other agents but she consistently feels outmatched here. This is why I would call her a rival on paper.

So on paper Anya is a genius, master of martial arts, and her resourcefulness speaks for itself. She should be able to hold her own against anyone. Well, on the field it just doesn’t play out that way. She may be able to defeat Bond at times in word games like when she mentions where the submarine is. Additionally, she is able to defeat him by using his weakness to women and spraying him with a knock out gas. The whole thing was super embarrassing for Bond but when it comes time for a fight, she is dispatched quickly.

She allows Jaws to defeat her even when she had a gun on him and he was unarmed. When she crosses with Bond, she is pitting her karate chop against his gun. Anya just wasn’t ready for this and the fact that she can distract Bond with her charms just feels like a consolation prize at best. I would have liked her to have been out there in the field murdering a ton of fighters and really giving Bond a reason to respect her abilities. Considering the series we’re watching, this will probably only be possible if the rival agent is a guy.

As for Bond, well he looks pretty bad as always. The whole world is in danger with the nuclear weapons here and he’s still trying to make a pass at everybody? Bond needs to lock in at this point and he just doesn’t have enough moments like that. Bond is ready to have his fun and lose the mission which is not what you want a hero to do. I appreciate his smug attitude and how Bond talks down to everyone but it’s still hard to overlook his faults.

Meanwhile Jaws is a solid villain because of his skills even if he lacks the overall charisma that Scaramanga had. Jaws is shown to be borderline superhuman with how he can absorb so many blows. He walks away from a massive car crash at one point with essentially no injuries. Bond is clearly not able to beat him one on one but is quicker so usually the environment ends up being the deciding factor. Jaws mouth is metal after all which makes things difficult for him around magnets.

His boss is technically the head honcho but that guy doesn’t look all that good. I appreciate all the tough talk and how he dispatched several characters in the opening scene. He knows how to stay on top but ultimately gets a little too cocky. His gun needed to be quite a bit shorter to be effective and the trigger needed to be silent. The guy had an interesting goal of wanting humanity to only live beneath the waves though. I’ll give him some points for originality I suppose.

As always the film suffers from fanservice and terrible romances which distract from the main plot. In fact, this time it’s even worse because the plot is completely going against the romance. Anya’s whole plot is to avenge her fiancé but she’s messing around with Bond right away. You could try to defend this by saying that it’s part of her job and she’ll get with everybody in order to further the mission but that really doesn’t help at all. It just pushes forward the worst trope of a female agent which is having to do any of that stuff in the beginning.

Nah you need to be able to solidify her as a top tier threat who doesn’t need to do that. Bond never does either, he just does it for fun. That needs to be dialed back as well so that he can actually be a likable character. The film’s general pacing and story is good but these things hold it back quite a lot. The fanservice is unrelenting and is something you don’t see so much of outside of the Bond films. In a way that’s what makes it so notable here.

I should mention that the songs aren’t all that impressive for me. I didn’t cover that in the prior Bond film but generally none of the songs have moved me so far. They sound decent, I’m certainly not calling them bad. However, I would not be looking them up on Youtube or anything like that. They really lack a better beat or incredible lyrics that force you to rewatch them. These just feel like what you would expect from a Bond film tbh and I don’t really mean that in a good way.

Overall, This film had an interesting premise but didn’t live up to it in classic Bond style. I will always take a plot like this with multiple factions over not having them at all though. If you have liked the Bond films up to now then you should like this one as well. In a lot of ways it is playing the adventure completely straight and that’s not a bad thing for the most part. The series just needs a way to lose the fanservice and then it can one day rise up as one of the all time greats! Until then, it will have to be satisfied with being at the back of the pack when it comes to action/thriller franchises.

Overall 4/10

The Man with the Golden Gun Review

Posted on by
Reply


James Bond has certainly has a lot of films over the years. While Bond himself may spend a good chunk of his screentime getting kicked around, he always rises back up to end the threat. I’m not typically a fan of his movies for their over-reliance on fanservice and terrible romances but the action scenes tend to be fun. The movies have a good blend of humor mixed into the fight scenes. This one also has one of the best enemies in the entire series. That being said, it ends up falling into line with a lot of the other films.

The movie starts with an assassin taking out a powerful gunman. This man is Scaramanga, the world’s number one hit man. His trademark is a signature golden gun by which he finishes off his prey. This guy’s next target is James Bond, Britain’s top agent from MI6. He has the agency so scared that Bond is immediately taken off of his mission and fired. The only way for Bond to get his old work back is for him to take this guy down but nobody’s even seen Scaramanga before. This won’t be an easy fight.

I will say that MI6 looks absolutely terrible here for them to panic so quickly. Yes, Scaramanga is a dangerous foe but this level of panic should be reserved for taking on a whole government right? For a single man to make them bench the #1 agent is crazy. I don’t think M could possibly come back from this. Fortunately Bond is quick to get out there and end this would be assassin. It’s the only real way to move forward if we’re being realistic about this.

Unfortunately, I wouldn’t say that Bond is a great character though. As always he is distracted by every woman around and he can never truly keep his eyes on the prize. He has to rely on his plot armor most of the time in order to stay in the game because there are many chances for him to be removed. The villains had him dead to rights but sent him to school instead of finishing him off. A bizarre decision to be sure.

He doesn’t take his coworker seriously either and spends the whole time flirting with her instead of trying to come up with a plan. Yes, Goodnight was a poor agent who just held him back but Bond should have still been able to find some way for her to be of assistance instead of adding onto that. Anytime Bond is fooling around with these various characters, it is more time that he could have spent staying in a ready position with his guard up.

Bond gets results which is why he is known as the number one agent but at the same time he nearly dies constantly. Personally in terms of overall skill I would have to lean on Scaramanga here. In a one on one fight I believe he would defeat Bond. You could argue that Scaramanga did not think so since he ended up evading the one on one fight for his more theatrical version. That ended up being a mistake on his part.

Scaramanga is a full on villain so you can’t let his gamesmanship fool you. He doesn’t treat his allies particularly well and was quick to bump off the girl who was working with him. She probably had the most tragic role here since there was really no way out for her from the start. Death was always going to be the end result and it’s not like Bond really helped her to get past that here. Ultimately he wasn’t in the best place to help her either since time was ticking and he didn’t really have anyone to trust. That said, you still could have hoped that things would go better for her.

You’d almost think this was the only plot around but the Bond films are always able to cram a lot of story into these adventures. So we also had Hai who hired Scaramanga and was working with solar technology that could end the energy crisis. He gets rather overconfident for somebody who can’t fight which results in his end though. Honestly he may have been doomed either way but the way he went out just made the guy look silly.

We didn’t really need this plot or the whole karate interlude though. Sure we got to see Bond score some more wins and take advantage of terrible villain plans but it didn’t actually move the film forward. Personally I would have spent that time further hyping up Scaramanga and maybe even having Bond do some training to prepare for the battle. It’s a bit hard to picture since both characters are extremely arrogant but would have been interesting. Their inevitable matchup is easily what you are looking forward to throughout the movie. Everything else is ultimately just noise.

So the negatives with the film all stem from the endless fanservice and one night stands here. None of the romances are worth anything and they’re just here to pad out the film. It’s why I always look forward to seeing a more serious Bond who is ready to take on the villains without fooling around. While the film is very long, I would say that the pacing is generally fine. There is always a lot going on so it doesn’t drag on. The fight scenes are also pretty good.

They feel rather old school with how they aren’t overly choreographed or anything like that. This is a basic fight with good hand to hand at all times. Bond also looks very mortal as he is stronger than the average fighter but isn’t the world’s best or anything. We even have a classic car chase which works well. The overactive sheriff may be a tad too silly for some but generally tends to be a fun character. The absurdity just works especially since the film as a whole was pretty light hearted anyway. He would probably overstay his welcome if the scenes were too much longer.

Overall, This film did a good job of finally giving Bond a true one vs one fight to look forward to. Sure, Bond does lose a lot and tends to be out planned by the villains but this is one of the few times where the whole film is building up to such an encounter. I appreciated that and while it couldn’t do enough for the film to beat out its own issues, this still made for a pretty memorable experience. If you really like Bond films then I would recommend checking this one out.

Overall 4/10

Our Souls at Night Review

Posted on by
Reply


There aren’t too many films about romance that blooms when the main characters are seniors so this was definitely different. It makes sense that folks can get lonely even when they are in the twilight years. Personally I would tend to advise against entering a relationship at that late stage but you just hope for the best. The film had some potential but it can’t resist adding in a bunch of drama which ultimately hurts things in the end.

The film starts by introducing us to Louis. He’s really old but has a solid routine every day. He hangs out with his friends and then heads home. Life goes on as normal and he doesn’t seem to have any complaints. Well, one day his neighbor Addie shows up and says they should start sleeping together so the nights won’t feel as long. It’s certainly the strangest offer Louis has gotten but she confirms this will be purely platonic. Luis decides to give this a shot but in the most shocking of plot twists, he begins to fall for her. How could this happen and what should he do about this?

Now obviously this was always going to be the end result. There are loads of lies that you can tell yourself but the biggest one is that you can hang out every night on the bed with someone and not catch feelings at some point. It’s why friends with benefits has always been a bunch of immoral nonsense but also why you don’t go to naked saunas or hot springs adventures with your friends. If you want to keep your friends and not succumb to impulses, you shouldn’t be entering spaces and situations that aren’t meant for them.

The instant Addie made the offer, it was clear to both parties deep in their mind that a romance would happen. The whole deal just wouldn’t make sense otherwise. From that point on, if they’re both on board then there’s technically nothing wrong with it. It would still feel like a rebound to me though and like I said before I just wouldn’t recommend a late stage romance. Why not?

Well when you enter into any kind of relationship you have to take the good with the bad. The bad in this case is likely going to involve a lot of medical issues and deaths of friends due to how old they all are. You’re potentially getting super close to someone who is not going to be around for much longer. That happens even in a young relationship since by extension you now know double the people which means more chances of bad things happening. It’s not a great way to look at things but you have to when you have two people 70+ who are going to be getting together now.

Then we also learn that Louis wasn’t the best guy in his youth. He cheated on his wife and while they patched things up later on, his social reputation was destroyed. You can’t full recover from something like that, the trust is just gone. I felt this was a really unnecessary part of the film. One of those classic plots to show how everyone makes a ton of big mistakes. Why couldn’t Louis just be a good guy?

Meanwhile Addie doesn’t have any big moments of crisis in her past but in the present she is the one who ultimately chooses her other responsibilities over Louis. She started this whole arrangement and yet she’s the one to end it? That’s not a particularly good look. Her ungrateful son spends a lot of the film getting drunk and whining but it sounds to me like she did her best. I didn’t have a problem with any of the issues that guy had been raising up.

In general the kids are the most annoying characters though. Addie’s son Gene is trying to raise his son on his own after the wife left but it seems clear why she did. He gets drunk a lot, isn’t able to properly control himself, and can’t land a job. Perhaps Gene is trying hard but there is really no excuse for when he left his kid all by himself and started drinking. He’s always looking for a fight and is quick to blame others but doesn’t take ownership of his faults. Even by the end of the film we have no reason to think that he has changed at all.

Then we have Louis’ daughter Holly who gets far less screentime but also doesn’t do very well. She comes off as very aggressive during the lunch meeting about how she’s going on her adventure and blames Louis for not being there. Her therapist wanted her to make it very clear to Louis about this so that she could have closure and all. It just seemed to come out of nowhere. Naturally we know that the past events led up to this but it always feels petty to just launch an attack after a long period like this.

Once you’re an adult you have to be responsible for your decisions. Holding onto old grudges is not a good idea but even if you do, just keep it to yourself at that point. Don’t go and set up a meetup just to do more complaining. If Gene was so unhappy, then he shouldn’t be going to Addie for help. Holly could have just gone on her adventure without stopping by to rub Louis’ nose in it. Like I said, the characters are just unlikable.

I also can’t say that I liked any of Louis’ main friends. They’re basically around to be crude and start the rumor mill but that’s all that they are here to do. Louis takes offense at it because he’s the main character this time but from how they were talking, this is probably a regular thing. It doesn’t reflect well on Louis to be hanging out with these characters.

For a slow burn film like this, it helps a lot if the characters are all pleasant. I think that Hallmark could do a really good job with this premise for example. They should have also played up the romance to be more gradual. Instead of the two running to a hotel to try and act like teenagers again, have them do an actual courtship and build up to the end process. Get married first and make it official instead of all this hidden stuff.

As a more minor note, there is a lot of screentime for taking care of Gene’s kid while he is out playing the fool. Louis and Addie do a good job of taking care of him but getting a dog was a big mistake. For starters, both of them aren’t going to last very long so that raises questions on what will happen to the dog. Ultimately they end up giving him to Gene instead. Gene can’t even raise a kid tho, let alone a dog. So that’s the kind of decision that just seems to be very iffy at best.

Overall, Our Souls at Night shows exactly why you don’t want to be getting into any secret entanglements. Eventually everyone finds out and even if you double down, it’s just not going to last. I didn’t particularly enjoy the ending because it felt very avoidable but in a way it is realistic. The situationship worked for a while but now Addie doesn’t need any help to sleep since she’s not alone and so she chose the responsibilities over Louis. Ultimately the biggest moral of the story is, if anyone ever asks you to do something inherently intimate but claims that it will be platonic….listen to your common sense and reject the offer. I did enjoy the small town atmosphere at least, it seemed like a fun area to live in.

Overall 4/10

Barefoot in the Park Review

Posted on by
Reply


Uh oh, it’s time for a romance film. Usually that means you are about to be seeing a really weak romance but of course the film could surprise us? Nah that doesn’t really happen here. There is a good amount of humor within the film but it also gets hurt by some of the characters being really unlikable. It’s the classic example of a film that is pretty fun for most of the adventure but does end up running out of steam before the ending.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Corie and Paul who have just gotten married. Things are going really well for them and right away we see the contrast in personalities here. Corie loves trolling Paul and putting him in embarrassing situations while Paul pretends not to enjoy it too much and so they’ve had a great bond. Well, their bond gets put to the test when they move into Corie’s apartment on the 6th floor which has no heating, almost no room, and no elevator service. Paul isn’t in particularly good shape and so walking up the 5 flights is a real struggle. They also have to deal with an upstairs neighbor named Victor who is not particularly subtle with his flirting towards Corie. How will things turn out?

First off, I will say that the comedy in the film is pretty impressive. I enjoy the banter between the characters and also think that Corie has a good sense of humor. Yes, most of her jokes do have the potential to get Paul punched out or in serious trouble but the high stakes nature of the jokes are what makes them work. I also think those jokes are not really a bad idea at all in strengthening their relationship.

The film also gets a lot of leverage out of the 6th floor part. It’s hard to see why it’s such a big deal to walk up all those flights but I can overlook that because the various jokes are just funny. Then we have Paul trying to keep up with Corie’s energy even if it means trying strange foods. You definitely feel bad for him there because that is a real struggle all the way around.

Now for the romance, it starts out good but does take a tumble by the end. Their relationship should not have been so easy to crush. Surprisingly the film doesn’t really go for the jealousy card with Victor here but instead plays up that Paul feels like a stiff compared to Corie. When she basically admits to that, then they go through a lot of troubles which only resolve with Paul having to play the fool for a bit. Jestermaxing as the kids would say nowadays.

I didn’t think that was a good resolution. For starters, it does play into Corie actually feeling that way to an extent. I would have preferred her to come to the realization that she wants a guy who is very steady and not going to get drunk and such. Have her tone down her own behavior a bit. My biggest issue with the film was how she would act around Victor. It’s one thing to be friendly but I thought she was a bit overboard with him. Victor would really get away with flirting and the way he helped her get down from the AC was absolutely fresh.

The film is mainly content to never make Victor out to be the villain but I would have liked Paul to put him in his place. Boundaries are always important to consider. I say this as someone who does hold the unpopular opinion that you can have really close friends of the opposite sex at all times. Whether married or not, there are wholesome friendships to be had but that is precisely why you need boundaries. If your friend is genuine, then they will respect them and everyone will have a great time.

Then we have a whole subplot where Corie tries to set up her mother Ethel with Victor. Setting someone up on a blind date is always a bad thing to do here and then to see it work can be rather annoying. Victor is introduced as a character with quite the reputation of getting around so why would this possibly be a good idea?

You have to assume that it all works out but it is a strong assumption all the way through. Ethel was a good character though. Romance aside, she did her best to be supportive of Corie and Paul the whole way through. There were plenty of opportunities for her to complain about things like the way the apartment looked but she tried to find the positive side of things.

As for Paul, he mainly did good but unfortunately looks bad at the end when he gets super drunk. Essentially he was trying to prove that he could be fun but in that instant he lost the high ground. I would have preferred that he stuck to his guns and eventually Corie would realize why he was a good man. Some mistake the ability to get drunk and go to clubs as being a fun person when you don’t need any of that. The ability to have fun without being intoxicated is a much more honorable trait.

So the film was pretty solid but really just fumbled when the plot had to get serious. The film probably felt like it needed to have some drama to end things off but this was the wrong way to do it. It just came at the expense of both characters and that’s never a good thing. Additionally, pretty much every scene with Victor just came across as annoying. I would have much preferred that the film be built around the apartment and that’s where the fun comes from. You could have both characters arguing over how the apartment should look and that would easily have enough material for a whole film.

Overall, This is a film that’s pretty fun but does get hurt quite a bit by the end. The end is ultimately what will leave the biggest impact on you so that was a really rough way to go. If you do like a classic comedy-romance then you should probably still check this one out. Just be prepared to see a whole lot of wasted potential here as the film focuses far too much on Ethel and Victor who try to take over the film. You just want to get back to the main duo but they don’t get much of a chance by the middle portion since it leads right to the big fight for the climax. It was a fresh change of pace to have the characters married from the start though rather than waiting until the very end.

Overall 4/10

Flight 7500 Review

Posted on by
Reply


I think a problem that some slow burn films have is that you need to have a great payoff at the end. I love a good setup phase but if there is no big climax then you did something wrong. This film spends an incredible amount of time setting up the characters and establishing an eerie atmosphere only to have no real plan on how to deal with this. As a result we get a very underwhelming climax that will just leave you shaking your head.

The film starts by showing us a bunch of characters getting onto a plane. They are as unlikable as possible and I’ll get into them in a moment. Still, everyone just has to make it through the flight but unfortunately a guy starts bleeding and dies really quickly. There may be some contagion on board now and weird things begin to happen. Flickering lights, spirits and aberrations, etc. Maybe everyone is just getting a little stressed out? They need to simply survive until the end of the film…but will they?

Weird things happening is a fun setup here so we’re still in business. One of the big problems though is in making everyone so unlikable. I know this is usually a tool to help make sure you don’t mind seeing them all die but it feels like this tends to backfire most of the time. There is just usually not a good reason to do this and it does play a part in the film’s failure. Better characters could have really made a difference here.

First you’ve got Jake who doesn’t believe in the capitalist system and wants to steal as many things as possible. He will make money off the grid and live in whatever way he sees fit. No rules can stop him. This guy just looks out for himself and you can probably guess that he will be one of the first ones to go. He’s quite brazen about breaking protocol and there is just nothing good about him.

Then you have Lance who is acting strange the whole time and brings a big briefcase with him. You could blame a lot of the problems on this guy to be honest. He’s not as mean as some of the other characters but does give off a tough vibe from the start. Lance is clearly not here to talk to the other characters at all. Then there is Jacinta and at first it seems like the only bad thing about her is that she’s goth which is a little funny to be honest. Well, after that she does seem to be a little too into death like trying to feel some blood which will just spread the virus if that’s going around. Her speech to Rick also felt a little bit like she was starting to flirt with how their actions don’t matter or how good they were in life.

Definitely a terrible mindset to have. Of course I can’t give Rick any real points either. He just got married and yet he can’t help but stare at Jacinta the whole time? You have to absolutely do better than that. It doesn’t matter how pretty she may be or what her fashion sense is, he literally just got married. Come on now. Rick may not be as bad as some of the other characters but that was not a good look for him.

Meanwhile his wife Liz is constantly complaining about everyone. She panics a whole lot and just finds a way to find faults with everyone. She is never happy and is determined to make this flight a very long one for everyone. You wonder how she and Rick even got together in the first place based on their scenes. He must have really been desperate or she just changed a whole lot.

The staff isn’t free of fault either. One of the main hostesses is Laura and she is actively having an affair with the pilot Pete even though he is married. He has told her that he will get a divorce so they can be together forever and she actually bought this. Of course it doesn’t ultimately matter if that is true or not. He’s still married at the moment so both characters look terrible here.

Then you have Suzy who may by default be the most reasonable character here but even she is a bit iffy. She basically admits that she is only with her current boyfriend because he’s a safe bet. She actually still likes her ex a lot more and so the poor guy doesn’t even know this. That’s just tragic when you really think about it. Suzy probably has the roughest end though so you feel bad for her. When the monster goes after her, absolutely nobody makes a move to help her. They just run away which is insane. You can see how this character cast is completely unlikable right? There are other characters as well but you get the idea of it. The plane tends to feel pretty empty considering how many people are around as well and while this is for the twist later on, it is incredibly forced that nobody comments on this.

So what about the monster? Well, we never really get to see it. There are flashes and you might see an arm but for the most part even by the end you don’t really get a full shot. You’re waiting for things to start happening after all the ominous moments but there is absolutely no payoff. The film has a big twist at the end but it’s just so lame. It’s one of those twists that just seems to exist but there is no reason for it.

It’s a boring ending and I wanted something more direct. The film leads us on with a Shinigami doll so you’re expecting an actual figure for them to fight but that’s not the case. It feels like a Shyamalan and certainly not one of the good ones. The film loses all momentum here and also becomes another one of those titles where everything was pointless. Thanks to the twist, nothing ever really mattered. Every action the characters took was futile and that’s always going to be a sore spot for me. You need to write these things in a way where the actions matter or else the viewing won’t be satisfying, let alone a rewatch.

Overall, I would say this is a movie you will want to skip out on. It’s just not a good title. The film really ends on a whimper and almost forgets that it is supposed to be a horror film by the end. You do get some unnerving visuals although I would say they tend to just be more on the gross side like the one guy who was bleeding a lot. We have a jump scare early on and then the film starts to abandon that as well. It just feels like there was no big plan here so in the end everything just fell apart. It’s a shame because a plane is a great place for a horror moment considering that there is no way out. Better luck next time I suppose.

Overall 4/10

Bye Bye Birdie Review

Posted on by
Reply


The secret trick to a romantic comedy is to forget all about the romance and just make a good comedy. That will work in most situations because that’s actually why the audience is around. Unfortunately this film forgot to really work on the comedy so you’re left with a film that’s just more annoying than anything. It ended up being weaker than I had expected it to be and so this is a film that I would definitely recommend you to skip. The song is also extremely bad.

The film starts off with one of the most obnoxious songs you’ll ever hear. It’s just so extremely slow that just getting through the first few sentences is rough. Fortunately it doesn’t make a big comeback in that exaggerated way again until the end of the film. The plot here is that the legendary singer Birdie has been drafted to the army for a while and everyone is really torn up about this. They will give him a chance to sing one last time before going and for extra publicity he will be kissing one of his fans. They select a girl named Kim who tells her boyfriend that she will be cheating on him but just once so he shouldn’t mind. He’s not thrilled about this but has no self respect and so he reluctantly gets on board. Will all this publicity end up being a curse to the small town in Ohio?

Now you do need to keep in mind that this is primarily a comedy. So you’re going to be hearing a lot of crazy things here but they are portrayed in a much lighter way than they sound. That’s fine, it makes sense but these jokes can be really hard to pull off. You absolutely need top tier execution and the film just didn’t have that so all the characters just look really bad.

First off we have Birdie. He’s one of those guys who just lost his mind due to all the fame and is a total jerk now. He gets drunk and is always running around to cause trouble. His role’s actually not as big as you’d expect though. He’s basically just here to be annoying and cause a lot of trouble for everyone. Hopefully being in the army will help get him into shape and make him a productive member of society. It’s a lot to ask for…but hey it could end up happening.

Then we have Albert who has been dating his secretary Rosie for a while but doesn’t have the guts to tell his mother Mae. As a result he just lets her do whatever she wants, including insulting Rosie directly. Albert has been gaslighting Rosie into thinking that he will confront Mae for a very long time now and it’s never happened. Albert just wants to be famous with his own song but nothing is working out for him. Ultimately Rosie runs off to go flirt with a bunch of guys to make Albert jealous. In the end things eventually work out but Albert looks really bad for the whole adventure. You need guts to make it in Hollywood and so it’s easy to see why he has been struggling.

Meanwhile Rosie needed to have moved on earlier. It’s clear that Albert is not the kind of guy to fight for her and that’s a huge red flag. In a way, part of why he succeeded in the end is because Mae had a rather sudden character arc. If not for that then things could have still been really dicey. I don’t see how Rosie would want to pursue things at that point. I would also say that she really hurt herself in deciding to get drunk and flirty. Immediately looking for a rebound is not a good idea.

As for Mae, well she makes for a good antagonist. The transparent guilt tripping worked well here and I like that she wasn’t very subtle. She didn’t like Rosie and made that known right away. The film needed a good antagonist and she filled that role well. She dominated Albert and Rosie throughout the whole film so they could definitely use some lessons from her on how to stick up for themselves.

Then we have Kim who is unfortunately the weakest character in the film. In a way her character arc hits the hardest because it’s not a completely unpopular opinion the way that it should be. She figures that a quick moment with a celebrity doesn’t count and her boyfriend shouldn’t be so insecure. It’s an advanced class in gaslighting since obviously this is a big deal. She also makes such a big deal about getting kissed by Birdie that it makes the boyfriend look even worse. If Kim was a good character she would have declined the invite right from the start.

Cheating is cheating no matter the circumstance or setting that it is in. Naturally her boyfriend’s decision here is to go rebound with another girl. It’s really incredible how quickly characters will just move on from their current “love” to the next one. Maybe their relationship wasn’t so serious then right? He just comes off like a sucker for most of his appearances and how easily Kim is able to talk him out of his doubts each time.

Kim finally has doubts at the last second but it’s way too late for that. Everyone swooning over Birdie just look bad as well. It’s all just too much even if that’s how things could be back in the day. You need a whole lot more balance than that. All of this could have still worked out if the film was really funny but it wasn’t hitting the right feels here. I needed some good banter or something like that but we never got those scenes. The best moments may have been with Kim’s father and his desperation for fame but even those moments were hit or miss.

Sometimes he was just a little bit too much with how whiny he was. So it really depended on the moment and jokes can easily get overplayed. I think this film could have been a whole lot better if it could just execute the jokes more seamlessly. Of course, that’s easier said than done without any examples. One plot change to make this work would be to change the dynamic so that Albert and Rosie were constantly fighting over who should propose to the other one first. Then that could leave room for more banter and not make Albert look quite as bad in how he was on the back foot during the whole film.

Overall, Bye Bye Birdie was a miss on this one. I had my doubts as soon as the first shot of the movie came in. The rest of it just had a mix of weak characters, fanservice, and not enough humor to really get the movie over the hump. As a result this one definitely lost out on all sides. Better luck next time and all that. You can do a lot better with old time rom-com films so I would recommend looking one of those up instead.

Overall 4/10

The Town Review

Posted on by
Reply

This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about committing crime in a small town. Definitely not the best option in general but it’s extra rough here when a ton of people are into crime. The main crew have been doing this for a while but things are shaken up when the leader falls in love. Is he going to mess this up for everyone or are they the ones who are getting greedy?

The film starts off with introducing us to Doug and his posse. They just completed a huge bank heist and are basically set for life. Doug figures this is it for the jobs but his partner Jem doesn’t think so. Jem has been gone for quite a while in jail so he is itching for more jobs. Doug thinks this is a really bad idea but Jem doesn’t tend to take no for an answer and makes it clear that Doug leaving may cause some problems. In their bank heist, Jem panicked and took a hostage. She was let go but heard all of their voices and got to see a lot. Doug checks up on her but falls in love and now they’re dating. Jem worries that this could mean death for their group if she puts two and two together.

So on the first part, Jem is right that this is a really dumb idea. You should never date your hostage. That’s just a really bad idea because it does make sense that she would be a liability. She may not have realizes anything just yet but it is possible that she could make the connection at any point. It was Jem’s fault for making her a hostage in the beginning but Doug really compounded the issue here. He is a bit in denial of this the whole time but it was a bad move.

Now Jem is still crazy the whole time and should have been satisfied with the big score at the beginning. It seems like it’s less about the money and more like he just really wants to live an exciting life. He almost thrives on these life or death situations like when he accompanies Doug to go beat up some people who were harassing his girlfriend. Doug didn’t need to give him any details and Jem was still ready to bust up a bunch of heads.

The town is effectively ruled by the crime lord known as Fergie. He’s really not the smartest character on the block though. Sure, Doug was planning to leave and Fergie wanted to stop that but he does so by basically rage baiting Doug a whole lot by revealing how he destroyed the guy’s parents. That doesn’t seem like a good move if you’re planning to stay alive. If anything, it feels like a good way to shorten the remainder of your life span.

This guy is still just a man after all. He can summon up a bunch of help but that’s not going to help a whole lot when he lets Doug meet with him whenever. His ending is one of the most predictable parts of the film. If anything, I think Doug let him get away with too much for quite a while there. You usually need to take someone out of the picture near instantly in this kind of situation.

Then we have his girlfriend Claire who is okay. I think she was moving rather quickly with the romance but she doesn’t know about the robber part and I can’t blame her for that. Not just anyone would have been able to make the connection there. Later on I suppose her reaction is justified enough about how she gets upset with Doug. If anything she probably should have ratted him out. From her perspective, he’s a total villain who manipulated her. It would be dangerous to assume that any part of their relationship was real. She decides to believe in it but I just don’t think that was a great idea.

For the most part the FBI agents are completely in over their heads but I did appreciate that the film made them look decent. They couldn’t crack the case officially for a while there but at least they had leads. It’s just that in a town like this, all of the crooks would look after each other so there wasn’t much in the way of hard proof to get after anyone. You had to try and work around that which isn’t easy. When it came down to the climactic shootout, they were ready.

Then you’ve got Krista, the crazy ex. As soon as she shows up, you know that she’ll be trouble and that’s exactly what happens. She is here to really cause some mixups and keep Doug stressed out. She had a tough lot in life but a lot of it was self sabotage with the drugs. It’s why you should never get involved in that business in the first place. Aside from damaging your body, it makes it easy for others to blackmail or just plain manipulate you.

There is quite a bit of action in here aside from it being a mental thriller. The Town keeps you engaged the whole time but it is also a bit of a downer movie. There’s not a whole lot to cheer for here and the ending is more of a bitter sweet one at best. Everyone has lost something by the end and so it felt like they couldn’t really escape their destinies in the long run. They grew up in a crime filled neighborhood and it destroyed them all. It would have been nice to have had a more positive resolution to wrap everything up.

Or maybe a happier middle in there. The film succeeds as a thriller with quick pacing but it has almost no replay value because of this. It’s not a film you’ll want to look up. I will say the film did a better job of making a likable antagonist as the lead compared to other titles. Doug was someone you could almost root for since he was trying to get out of the game and did his best not to hurt anyone. Still a criminal but he could have been a lot worse.

Overall, The Town is a film about how sometimes it can be really hard to go on the straight and narrow. Doug tries his best but the odds were stacked against him. Maybe if he left on his own but then he had to go and fall in love at the worst possible time. There’s definitely a lesson to be had with that. You have to be careful with those feelings because they can really pull you in the wrong direction especially if you go too fast and that romance felt pretty rushed. If you want to see a film about a criminal trying to go straight, this is a pretty decent one to check out. It’s a bit too dreary for me though and so it just doesn’t pass the bar. I’ll go with a classic thriller instead.

Overall 4/10

The Ring Two Review

Posted on by
Reply


The sequel to the Ring is definitely a very different film because it decides to throw away a lot of what made the first film unique. The video isn’t really relevant outside of the opening scene. Samara basically just does whatever she wants at this point and it’s not like anybody can really stop her. So she just goes on a rampage here and for some reason the film tries to make her slightly more sympathetic here when in the first film it was clear that she was super evil and had no doubts about it. I do appreciate that we have true continuity here with the old characters returning but the direction was definitely odd.

The movie starts with showing us how Rachel has built herself a new life far away from the events of the first film. She has escaped the Ring by passing on the curse so things should be better right? Well, unfortunately Samara keeps a grudge and she has apparently followed Rachel. She destroys one teen near the beginning as a warning shot and then starts to possess Aidan. Yes, this is a classic possession film now instead of being curse related. The first teenager is as unlikable as possible so you don’t really feel bad for him since he tried to murder his girlfriend, but why is Samara going after the main characters again?

In theory she should have no reason to go after them right? They passed on the curse and ensured that people would keep dying. Well, Rachel tries to find answers which means looking into Samara’s mother but there is really less point to it this time around. The research may have been futile in the first film but it still made sense since they needed to find out more about the monster and how to stop it. In this sequel, there is less for the heroes to really go on. Even if Rachel finds out some information, it’s not like it will help her right?

This does lead to an extended well fight which makes the well even more important than the first film. The plot armor is even stronger than in the first film as well since Rachel essentially has to fight Samara for quite a bit in order to lock her in. There’s no way this should work by what we’ve seen up to this point and even if Samara would get trapped, we have no reason to believe that it would even slow her down. She is basically a complete monster and should be immune to all of that. Her abilities are not of this realm. We saw in the first film that she could strike even from within the realm after all.

All of the possession stuff doesn’t really add to the film either. She mainly possesses Rachel’s kid Aidan the whole time. You can’t make a kid all that scary. He does bump off the guy who was helping Rachel but you could have seen that coming a mile away. Aidan does his best to fight her but he’s just a kid and so naturally he is utterly powerless against the possession. His scenes tend to drag on and you’re more interested in Rachel’s plot.

Rachel may not be perfect as she nearly drowns Aidan by accident when tricked by the illusions but she is able to do more damage to the villain at least. While I feel like her drowning plan towards the end was way too risky, I suppose the results proved it to be the right course of action. You have to take some leaps of logic when dealing with an all powerful creature like this after all.

You kind of feel bad for Max here because he’s roped into something where he is completely out of his league. At first he thinks he is helping a kid and his mom who are in a tough spot. Then he thinks he may need to help the kid from an abusive situation. All he gets from this is utter destruction. Towards the end you could say he is a little slow on the uptake but you really do have to cut him some slack because this situation is really out there. It’s not the kind of thing that you would be able to believe at face value. At least that’s the way I see it.

At least even if the film seems less focused and a bit more pointless than the first, it was better with the animal violence. Not perfectly as we have a bizarre scene of deers attacking the car and injuring themselves in the process. What was this scene even about? Who knows, Samara may not even know the full extent of her abilities. If she has teleportation, mind control, possession, etc, then she may just have all of the powers. It’s another gentle reminder to the pesky humans that they don’t really stand a chance here.

The film’s overall atmosphere is a little less spooky than the first one’s. In a way this one may have more jump scares but less effective ones. You just want to see Samara on her own attacking everyone, not acting through the body of a kid who can’t really fight back. I also think we need to bring the video back, a fun way to do it would have been to warp the characters inside the video for the climax. One of those stories where if Rachel beats Samara in the video, then Samara dies in real life. It would make Samara look dumb for bringing her in there, but at least it’s a way to get to the end.

Overall, The Ring Two is a pretty different film from the first one. Ultimately I would say that it is a weaker one thanks to all of the emphasis on possession. That tends to be one of the weaker forms of horror to me. It doesn’t help that it’s a kid being possessed so he’s not very scary either. I don’t see the point in learning more about Samara’s backstory here and how even her character feels a bit more different. This almost could have been a completely unrelated film to the first and that’s a problem. A sequel should really be maximizing its potential by being able to skip introductions. This should have been a film about finding Samara’s weakness and defeating her for good. Yes, I don’t count general drowning or closing a well to be an actual weakness.

Overall 4/10

The Ring Review

Posted on by
Reply


The Ring is one of the original horror films about futility. The humans are up against an absolutely unstoppable creature that as no weaknesses and likes to toy with its prey. There is no stopping her, at best you can try to join her side and I doubt that will work for long. The film ends up giving you a good amount of jump scares in the meantime and is iconic for good reason though. It’s certainly a cut above the average horror title.

The movie starts off with two girls talking about the Ring curse. If you watch a certain video, you will die after 7 days. One of the girls watched the video but that turned out to be a bad idea. She gets away with a few fake jump scares initially but then the monster finishes her off. We then cut to the main character Rachel who is a journalist and asked to look into what is going on here. Is this actually a curse or is something else going on here? The more that Rachel looks into this, the more real it becomes. Now she is not the only one in danger as her son Aidan is also getting into supernatural trouble. Can she save him?

Of course the main problem here is that there is no easy way to save anyone here. You can find out about the Ring and diagnose the situation at large but there isn’t really a way to stop her. We learn that the villain’s name is Samara and that she is pure evil. She admits that she will keep on hurting everyone forever and doesn’t really regret these actions. She had a rough backstory but has chosen to stay on the path of violence going forward.

Later on you have characters telling Rachel that she shouldn’t have helped Samara but did it really make a difference? Samara was already murdering people at the start of the movie and she continues to do that afterwards. No matter how you slice it, the victims will continue to pile up. As long as you’ve watched the video, you are essentially already dead and just don’t know it yet. The 7 days is really just a formality by that point. I suspect Samara doesn’t have to wait and just enjoys watching the victims squirm.

Now where Rachel gets a bit lucky is in determining that you can survive so long as you continue to pass the curse forward. I thought the logic to that was a bit flimsy but she ended up being correct so I suppose it all worked out in the end. It is a moral question though. Obviously most would agree that saving your life by sacrificing someone else’s is not a good proposition. It’s a selfish one but since her son was also in the balance, it makes sense that she would choose to play this card. I also appreciate that the sequel actually addresses this.

As the lead Rachel isn’t a bad character. She does a good job of following the clues and trying to figure out what is going on here. I think if she was up against more of a normal threat then she would have really been able to make a lot of progress. She does get a little unreasonably jealous when she’s around her ex Noah but that’s her only real character flaw. Yeah murdering innocent people is also a rough spot so she’s not exactly a hero.

The main character cast is fairly small here though. Noah seemed like a good guy as he tried to delve into the mystery as well. He’s really skeptical initially but you can’t really blame him for that since it’s hard to believe in such a mysterious tape and its effects. Ultimately he gets on board but it’s a little too late by then. He never really stood a chance from the instant that Rachel showed him the tape though. His fate was written in stone right from that moment.

Rachel’s kid Aidan serves as the mysterious character for most of the film. He seems to have a connection to Samara and says vague things. He’s mainly annoying and doesn’t actually help out a lot. In another movie where Samara could have a weakness then he might be fine but here it doesn’t really matter anyway. He’s also too young to really know what he’s doing. A kid like that is usually just around to hold the main character back by being a potential hostage.

The film mostly holds itself back when it comes to violence and such. I was impressed at the restraint relative to other horror titles. That said, why randomly have the horse subplot? Samara has a thing about making horses go crazy and bumps a lot of them off. We see one Horse jump into the ocean to get shredded. This subplot had no business actually being in the film the way that it was. Taking that out would have probably allowed the film to at least tread water right in the middle of the rankings.

Now there is a little plot armor here near the end with Rachel being able to fend off Samara and climb to the top of the well. Realistically this would have been a complete stomp in Samara’s favor. Maybe you could say she is weaker by the well or was holding back to mess with Rachel more? Both arguments are full of cope I’d say but I suppose they are not impossible. As for the famous video itself, well it definitely is spooky. I’d probably be a little unnerved by it as well although I definitely wouldn’t end up watching the whole thing. It seems rather demonic from the jump and doesn’t have much of a plot so I’d just put it down and dash off. If my “friends” tried coward baiting me into watching it, I’d just embrace the label and go eat my chips.

The effects were good though and The Ring does do a good job of maintaining the horror atmosphere the whole time. This isn’t always an easy thing to do but everything from the subtle music to the grim sound effects really works well here. While the hopelessness of the situation may hurt the film as a whole, it doesn’t hurt the atmosphere here. The heroes are surrounded by evil and can’t escape unless they choose to spread it. Now that is a diabolical setup.

Overall, The Ring is not exactly a film that I would really recommend checking out but it does beat a lot of its competitors. I always have an issue with the villain being absolutely unstoppable though. The heroes should be underdogs but if they literally have no chance then why are you even watching the film? There should always be at least one path to victory and that just wasn’t the case here. You definitely won’t forget the film after watching it though.

Overall 4/10