Category Archives: 4 Star Movies

Jurassic World Rebirth Review

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The Jurassic World films keep on coming. At the end of the day, the public is always ready for some dinosaurs I suppose. That said, the films rarely end up being all that good. Having a lot of dinosaurs running around is generally going to result in a lot of animal violence and that’s just hard to escape from. Rebirth certainly isn’t the worst at it but it is also going for a more serious survival tone than the previous popcorn fun titles in the World genre.

This movie begins by explaining that the dinosaurs broke containment once again and now rule over several islands. Humanity has gotten used to this so you generally just avoid those areas and the government keeps them blocked off. When dinosaurs appear in the world at large, they aren’t really acclimated to the environment and don’t last very long. Well one company needs samples from a rare dinosaur in order to make the next jump in heart related medicine. This is super illegal so the company reaches out to Zora, who will do just about anything for a good check. She agrees after hustling the company for a ton of extra money and brings along a few hand picked professionals for this kind of mission Can they complete the objective and escape with their lives intact?

Right away you can tell that this is going to be a film without very many heroes. I suppose the main scientist would be the only one to count. Zora is basically a bounty hunter, she completes her missions and serves her own interests. It was a bit of a low blow how she kept scamming Martin by making him pay more and more when he was already paying top dollar for this. Zora isn’t really meant to be likable though, she is a necessary evil that Martin has to use.

That said, the character type can usually still be fun. There just wasn’t anything charismatic about Zora. She just goes through the motions and ends up being a bit of a flat character. In general that’s my problem with the case. They all tend to feel throwaway and it’s what ends up hurting the film as a whole too since it ends up not being very interesting for large portions of time. I blame the setting to a degree as I much prefer a big city to the forestland like this. There just isn’t much interesting to look at visually.

Additionally, since the film is going for a more realistic vibe, it’s fairly rough goings. The whole area is rugged and certainly not sleek or shiny. The dinosaurs are also in a tough position because on one hand the film is trying to present them as fierce creatures that are always a big threat and are dangerous. On the other hand they are also basically like wildlife which are very fragile and can be destroyed by the pesky humans. It’s an impossible balance and for the most part I’d say they look weak.

One guy even has an anti dinosaur gun and manages to take out quite a large number of them. At no point do you think the main characters are really outmatched by the dinosaurs. In a way that’s probably why you needed the corporate villain. Martin is easily the best character here. He’s able to think on his feet and always has a plan at the ready. He even pulls out the gun near the end which was a smart idea considering how outnumbered he was. The guy believes that progress requires sacrifice, just not his own.

As a villain, Martin just really stands out and in a very good way. The film needed a main character who could really hold their own against him verbally. The main group also run into a family who were on the waters when they are attacked by a dinosaur. I know it’s meant to be a rare event so you don’t blame the family too much but in a world of dinosaurs…you may want to rethink certain activities. The most annoying character in this group is definitely the boyfriend. He locks in towards the climax but at first he is slacking off even when it is his shift and just doesn’t take things seriously. You know he’ll win over the father by the end but you’re rooting against him.

So we have certain scenes like that which inject a little humor into the film but on the whole it was definitely lacking in that area. In a way the film may have benefited from taking itself less seriously. At the same time it wouldn’t solve the main issue which is that dinosaurs still do get shot and blasted. There is a body count here and you have to blame the humans the whole time since they are the ones going into dinosaur territory and then claiming self defense while going for their goal.

While Henry is the voice of reason here as the timid scientist, he ultimately did still agree to go on this mission. The guy acts a bit shocked when corporate quickly begins to escalate their actions but he probably should have taken that into account. He’s a character who would have been a lot better if he was more confident. Confidence is ultimately still one of the best traits in a character. That’s why Duncan is a lot more likable even though he’s also a scammer like Zora. At least he is ready for the dinosaurs and letting himself be the bait when needed.

It’s already hard to root for humans when giant monsters are involved and this just makes it even tougher. I suppose that’s why the reason had to be really good like the heart medicine but even with that they are still the invaders here. There aren’t any big human against human fights in this one so the dinosaur action is mainly what you’re going to get. Ultimately for me this one was more of a miss but perhaps not much more than other titles in the franchise. As odd as it may sound, they should make a film like this that focuses on the government discussing the impacts that dinosaurs will have on society. I feel like that’s a film that I could get behind a lot more than a survival title in the forest like this.

Overall, Jurassic World Rebirth is a different take on the franchise at least compared to the recent ones. I tend to prefer the blockbuster approach as this one can almost get a bit dull as it goes on. If you really like dinosaurs then you should check it out, but otherwise I’d say you can skip this one with no regrets. It’s not going to become the next breakout hit for you and it may be time for the franchise to finally move onto robotic dinosaurs.

Overall 4/10

No Country for Old Men Review

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This is a review of the TV-14 edited version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This is one of those films that tried getting a little too clever with itself. The whole film builds up to some pretty big confrontations and ultimately we don’t get to end any of them. It’s a bit of a downer and while this anti climax was clearly intentional, I’d say that it doesn’t make the end result any better. The film really should have gone with a traditional climax and it would have ended up being much better off for it.

The movie starts off by introducing us to the psycho hitman, Anton. This guy was captured by the cops early on but unfortunately the officer let his guard down so Anton escapes and continues his murder spree. He is then tasked with hunting down a man named Moss who escaped with a bunch of money after running into a total murder scene. Moss realizes immediately that this much money means a lot of trouble so he needs to stay on the run until he can defeat Anton. The problem is that Moss is married so that means his wife is automatically a target now. Meanwhile Sheriff Ed has now been assigned to this case and needs to arrest both parties. Finally, the bounty hunter Carson has been hired to take the money. With 4 parties involved, there should be a lot of chaos.

Well, there should have been at least….this is where things get a bit messy if you ask me. This should have absolutely been a good setup for a ton of awesome fights and while we do get a solid battle between Anton and Moss, the others never get any real fights. Carson is built up a whole lot as a top tier fighter. He has a lot of experience and isn’t scared of Anton despite his reputation. That implies a lot of things, the most important of which is that he can hold his own. Unfortunately instead he is dumpstered unceremoniously while making every mistake he warned against.

It’s an incredibly embarrassing scene and he should have went out with more dignity. It’s a bit of a western staple for the victim to just stand around while he is shot to death but you’d like to see someone try to land a counter shot at least once. This time wasn’t that time though. Then we have the sheriff Ed who is late to every confrontation. He misses every fight and basically just has to comment on the situation every time. He has some weird dreams but ultimately doesn’t advance the plot much at all. I would argue that there isn’t much of a point to him being here. He should have had some kind of action scene.

Then for Moss, well I’d say he generally did the best that he could throughout the movie. The only time he fumbles is at the very end by staying at a motel and getting distracted when he needed to stay on mission. He had lasted a long while up to that point but that’s what makes it all the more tragic. I was glad that he was finally someone who could stand up to Anton though. Everyone else was getting absolutely crushed but he would stand his ground. Again, the ending to Moss’ character was just underwhelming though and undercuts the movie quite a bit.

As for Anton, well he’s definitely as crazy as you would expect. We get a long scene where he stares down a gas station owner and continually threatens him for a while before leaving. It was good that the owner didn’t have to die there since it would have been tragic. The whole scene is there to show you how messed up Anton is. Hopefully we get to see one of the heroes take him out right? Yeah….but even with that I think he’s a decent villain. Only problem is he has a ton of plot armor because he’s still just a dude with a gun. He shouldn’t have broken out of custody so easily in the first scene and the cops just look too ineffective the whole film.

The film takes place just old enough where there wasn’t as much tech so I don’t envy the cops’ position though. It absolutely couldn’t have been easy to live in those times. This movie does a good job of showing how scary the wild west environment can be when it spills into the cities. It can be really violent and you don’t always have much in the way of backup or other people who can help you in general.

I enjoyed the main gunfight between Anton and Moss which is why I wish we could have gotten more of that. The back and forth is intense with how high the stakes are. They each have to use the environment to help as an assist like with the nearby car. Any pedestrians along the way are definitely in for a tough time though. There is quite a lot of collateral damage going on here.

While the film is pretty violent, for the most part it isn’t being too excessive about the whole thing. The deaths tend to be pretty quick and to the point. The bounty hunter’s is more of an exception but it still isn’t overly violent, it’s just longer as Anton wants to really rub his victory in.

Overall, No Country for Old Men is a film that takes a lot of time to really build up the atmosphere. It tries to really develop the situation and set up all of the big players. So things are looking up but then it pulls the ole fake out and ruins all the setup. There isn’t really much reason to watch the film as a result. With no proper ending, it means that all the build up ends up just feeling mean spirited as we see how dark the world is without a hero at the end to save the day. It removes any possible replay value here and the film just becomes really empty. You can do better within the western genre.

Overall 4/10

Little Women (1994) Review

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It’s time for another Little Women adaption. It’s not exactly one of my favorite stories but it’s certainly an iconic one. I believe this is the third version that I’ve seen. How much you enjoy it will all come down to how much you enjoy the antics of the main characters. Can you identify with their situation or will you just find it a little dull? Personally I don’t find any of the characters to be super likable so that does really hold things back. The romance doesn’t help.

The 4 sisters are the main characters here. Meg, Jo, Beth, and Amy. They live in a rather tough situation with finances not being very good. Their father is always out working and their mother does her best to keep things together. There are only so many ways to entertain themselves in such days but at least they have each other. Well, one day after the usual neighborhood party/dance they meet a rich guy named Theodore. He seems to have taken a liking to Jo but she’s not really in the market for a boyfriend at the moment. Will he win her over or is she going to get away?

So I can’t fault Jo for deciding that she didn’t want to mess around with romance. It’s not for everyone after all and she still wanted to enjoy her usual fun times with the gang. If she were to get a boyfriend then naturally that would end. Well, things get a bit more complicated than that as everyone else continues to move on with their lives. Theodore even decides to rebound with one of Jo’s sisters. Now Jo will have to find a man but who is left?

Ultimately Jo leaves home and by expanding her horizons she meets someone but the romance is pretty fast and not all that developed. It just never worked for me and I also think her sister Amy shouldn’t have gotten together with Theodore. Yeah, he claims that he is over Jo but that’s a bit hard to buy and even then it’s like you were the second choice. That’s how I’ve always felt about the romances in this movie and that hasn’t really changed over time.

This film also takes place in the very olden days and as a result there are all kinds of customs and such that feel dated. The girls can never make the first move, they must be prim and proper at all times, etc. Not to say that it’s all bad but a lot of these things just make them look way too passive as characters. I would have liked more direct action here, maybe in terms of trying to earn money or perhaps jumpstarting the romance on their own.

Jo is the only one who acts rather impulsively in general like selling her hair for money. So she gets more credit there. The writing is good as the old time script holds up but it doesn’t really solve the problem of the main characters not being super interesting. I don’t really know what you would do in order to change that though. Not without changing the story as a whole.

I’ve said this before but I like a good slice of life story, it just needs a touch of comedy. That is what’s missing in this one. The story is all fairly serious which is fine, but where are the scenes that will help me break a smile? There aren’t really any laugh out loud scenes here. Dreary would be the wrong word to describe the film but it just takes itself so seriously.

I guess I’d say the film is like watching a bunch of people who don’t have many hobbies hanging out with each other. It can be fairly wholesome but doesn’t really do much for you. The film also ends up being on the loner side and the pacing can be really slow. A lot of things are all going against the film here and as least one character gets a rather sad ending.

Maybe the next remake can focus a little bit more on Jo’s journey as an author. Focus on the last part of the film with her being abroad and make that a much larger part. You could also use that time to try and develop the romance with the professor but I dare say that might be a waste of time so perhaps you just focus on the writing bits. Or maybe show us what her father was doing at work and add some kind of trial there. Show why the job is so hard. Both of these plots would be immensely more interesting than just staying at the home for longer periods of time.

Overall, Little Women would have benefited from adding a few light scenes with gags and fun jokes. Something to just make the film itself a little more fun and it would also add to the replay value. Throw that all in to the mix and things would improve. Right now this is essentially a film that is lacking a hook. Of course at the end of the day that just means this film wasn’t really for me. I would say to only check it out if you want to see what life would have been like if you had grown up poor in a small town. Otherwise, you’re better off with one of the old sit coms instead.

Overall 4/10

Collide Review

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It’s time for a thriller but this one definitely isn’t going to be the next Taken. It has quite a few issues with the biggest one being the characters involved. I did like one of the villains but the film doesn’t use him as much as you would want. There was potential all around here, but ultimately I can see why nobody really talks about this film. It’s the kind of movie that just comes and goes with no real impact.

The film starts off by introducing us to Casey who works for a drug dealer. He basically does whatever the boss says. The job is certainly not a savory one but it pays the bills. His life feels rather empty though and he desperately wants a girlfriend. So while slumming it at the nearby bar, he noticed the bartender named Juliette. She agrees to become his girlfriend real quick if he just promises to give up the life of crime. He agrees…and surprisingly gets out of the business without being shot or killed. That’s a first. Well, it’s all going good until Juliette starts acting a bit extra crazy one snowy night but it’s not the cold that gets her…but a rare condition she has which involves a lot of seizures. She will be dead in a matter of weeks unless a really expensive operation can be performed on her. So Casey decides to go back to his old boss for one last job.

Naturally this job will be the toughest one yet since his boss Geran has been feuding with his boss Hagen. So he wants them to rob Hagen but the guy has a whole criminal network at his disposal and is also a lot smarter than Geran. Casey also realizes that this is likely a setup and so he decides to hatch a plan of his own. You’ve got 3 really big players running around here and of course the leverage against Casey will be simple. Whoever can capture Juliette, will have captured Casey.

The story itself is fairly straight forward so then it becomes all about the execution. Unfortunately this is where the film starts to fall flat. First off the romance is definitely weak. I appreciate the film showing that a lot of time has passed after they got together for their bond to be strong but those time jumps should have been used at the start. Instead of Juliette being convinced to be his girlfriend after a matter of minutes, make that part take weeks. It’s a rather simple fix and just like that you would have a compelling romance.

The film also goes out of its way to make both of the characters not all that likable. They’re the type of characters who are always getting drunk, going to suspect parties, and just don’t really seem like two people you’d generally get along with. Yeah Casey went straight for a while but working for the mob the way that he did, he’s certainly been involved in a lot of suspect stuff. You can write a solid anti hero but there just isn’t any real depth to the guy at all.

His big plan also revolves around the villains being absolute rookies at their own business. To stop the truck, they have to get the best hitman in the business to get out of the safety of the vehicle where they can knock him out. No way that should have happened but then it also revolves around the camera guy deciding to take a nap and not look at the truck for a few minutes. So that’s not a good plan, it’s just absolute plot armor at its finest.

I won’t fault Casey too hard for letting Juliette get captured since realistically there wouldn’t be much he could do about that but he does get the blame for the rest of the plan. Meanwhile his boss Geran is a little too quirky. He’s hard of hearing and constantly drunk. He doesn’t always make a lot of sense and yet he wants to be equal partners with the biggest crime lord on the planet? Yeah, I can see why Hagen doesn’t take him seriously.

Hagen is really the standout character here. I like how he just talks smack to Geran right to the guy’s face. He is absolutely confident that victory is around the corner and never falters. Hagen has a bit of a weak ending but for the most part he is always a few steps ahead. The last scenes just make him look sloppy, although I’d argue everyone looks sloppy there. When you’re a big crime lord, you’re probably not going to be going to a small diner without many escape routes unless you’ve either completely bought out the police or have a private army. It all just felt a little forced but I did enjoy the banter.

The best thing I can say about the film is that Hagen is so interesting that all of his scenes absolutely jump up a level. I love when a villain is really smug like this and he definitely made sure that the rest of the characters knew just how powerful he was. Now this does result in quite a bit of plot armor on his end too, but that’s just how these things go.

For example, at one point Casey runs into a small convenience shop and the villains chase him inside. The two owners both have guns and one of them is a really good shot. Despite this, they allow the villains to raise up their guns and fire. It’s probably the dumbest moment in the film. When an armed fighter runs into your shop, you need to fire quickly instead of waiting until they take their gun out. Obviously, the villains won’t hesitate so your hesitation will equal death.

Overall, Collide has a lot of action but not a whole lot of spirit. It’s going through the motions and could have been a solid emotional film but Casey and Juliette just aren’t likable enough to be convincing. The film’s got that Hollywood style of romance where there isn’t a whole lot of build up or getting to know each other as we jump straight to fanservice and action. It comes across as superficial and a single villain isn’t enough to hold this film up. You can do a lot better when it comes to action thrillers so I would say to skip this one.

Overall 4/10

The Mechanic Review

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It’s time for a film that definitely doesn’t have a very positive aura about it. This one is satisfied with being a bit more of a downer and unfortunately that does end up hurting the film. If the film could have balanced in some more upbeat moments or maybe gotten a better main character cast then things could have been different. You may still appreciate some of the creativity in the murder tactics here but that’s about it.

The film introduces us to Arthur who is one of the top hitmen in the world. He takes out the targets that he is given with pinpoint accuracy. He has been at this for a long time and so he is fairly wealthy and has a lot of resources but at the same time he can also be a bit lonely. He has even gotten desperate enough to hire a girl for a roleplay relationship which shows just how down he is. Well, one day a guy called Steven shows interest in his work and Arthur sees that this guy is a total psychopath. So he recruits him, will this be a fatal mistake?

The first rule of being a hitman is not to trust anyone after all. You see first hand what happens to people who do begin to trust others and it’s not pretty. Additionally, Arthur quickly finds some suspicious things about Steve but looks past them. He is really hoping this will work out but I give Arthur credit for having a backup plan which is more than most characters would have in his position. Without that, I would have been considerably harsher on him.

I don’t like Arthur either way, but at least his reputation is deserved. His most impressive scene was probably at the beginning where we see him prepare numerous death traps for someone so that if any of them fail, he will have a few backups. It was a good way to set the tone of just what he does. Arthur doesn’t like flashy kills. He’s not walking around with grenades or something like that. He likes the preparation phase and making sure that things are lined up just right.

This doesn’t work so well for his bosses who like their feeling of power even more than the results. Meanwhile Steve is far less likable because he just feels more psychotic. For Arthur this feels like a job while for Steve it’s a total infatuation. We get a long scene where one of his friends decides to check out of life and see if he will stop her. Naturally he doesn’t and just makes a bunch of jokes before leaving. Yeah it was a toxic move on her part but it doesn’t make his response any less disturbing.

You may need that kind of mindset to a degree to become a hitman but it definitely didn’t help his case at all. The guy was so smug that you definitely wanted someone to be able to take him out. He makes some basic mistakes during the missions as well and never seems to have a lot of self reflection. Definitely a liability so Arthur’s bosses were right about that. Also the more people you bring into the fold, the more that things can go wrong.

While the film could be a bit dreary, I do think that the ending was just about perfect. It’s a really satisfying climax that ensures one character doesn’t just walk away. That would have probably been one of the worst case scenarios here. it’s not like a villain can never end up winning in a film. I’ve seen a few where the heroes lose out and it works well enough but this guy is one where you’re just rooting really hard to keep him from securing a victory.

The writing is good enough here. You see everyone being polite and really fake the whole time. It’s a good reminder to be careful because even if someone seems really personable and sympathetic, they may actually have been hired to bump you off. One of Arthur’s victims certainly didn’t think that one of his old friends would be the murderer but that’s how it goes sometimes. You don’t have to live in a very paranoid way or anything like that, but just keep your guard up.

If you do want to be paranoid though, this film shows the importance of setting up little traps in your apartment. Tiny pieces of paper or things arranged in a way where you’ll know if someone was inside your apartment while you were gone. There are lots of clever ways to set this up and if I lived by myself I would definitely do that. In the worst case, you’re just doing an extra 10 minutes of work every day so that’s a really good risk/reward ratio.

Overall, This film wasn’t all that good but I wouldn’t call it awful or anything. In fact if you cut out the scene with the girl bleeding to death then I think the film would have broken even. To me that moment was just going a bit too far in how bleak things were. It’s sad to see so many empty characters in this film. At least with the main two, they knew the risks here and are primed for a rough outcome, but some random person who didn’t seem all there? That was a bit much. I also would have preferred if Arthur handled himself a bit better since that fake romance just made him look so bad. It may have just been a quick scene but it was a rough moment for him. So if you really enjoy films about hitmen then this could be worth checking out, but otherwise I would say to give it a skip. There are better films that focus more on the villains.

Overall 4/10

Live and Let Die Review

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It’s time for another James Bond adventure. The Bond films do tend to be on the weaker side next to other secret agent kind of films but occasionally they end up surprising you. Unfortunately this is not one of those times. The film can be rather out there at times which is a nice change of pace for the series but it still does run into every one of the usual issues. As a result, it’s a film that won’t end up ranking all that high for you and instead will leave you hoping that the next one will be better.

The movie starts with some secret agents getting bumped off with ease so James Bond is called back into action once more. His mission is to go to New York and find out what is going on. There are ties to the New Orleans overlord Kananga who is head of a rather powerful operation. Something that could even end up overpowering M16. If Bond doesn’t stop this conspiracy soon, it’ll be all over for humanity.

One funny thing about this film is how Bond is 2 steps behind the villains at every turn. EACH TIME Bond thinks he has a lead or is about to get the drop on the villains, we find out that they were aware of it the entire time. He is captured numerous times and has to be bailed out on many occasions. Only luck and plot armor are enough to keep him safe during all of this. You’d be forgiven for thinking that Bond was a total amateur in this adventure.

Bond walks into a villain stronghold with no plan and so he is immediately defeated. Another time he sits down at their restaurant and falls into a trap. He falls into the same trap a second time later. These are only a few of his missteps. The villains really should have just bumped him off at that point but they do love their theatrics.

The villains also have the arrogance of not keeping their fortune teller Solitaire guarded at all times. She has the special ability to read the future so long as she never gets intimate with a man. Bond’s whole thing is that he has no moral compass when it comes to love but even if the villains didn’t know that, why wouldn’t her house constantly be guarded? How are you a pivotal player in a giant terrorist racket and yet you just go back to your home like it’s nothing after a mission? This naturally ends up in disaster for the villains.

Solitaire isn’t a particularly good heroine though as she relies too much on the cards. She allows them to completely dictate her destiny and yes, even her love life. The cards are also total trolls since they gave her an answer that would mean losing her powers no matter how you slice it. So in a way you could say that she never had any real chance of winning here. There is another heroine named Rosie who isn’t particularly likable either. Another easy score for Bond and someone who never really gets to prove her skills on the field.

It’s no wonder why all the other agents are constantly dying. Bond seems to e the only capable one around. That’s also a pretty sad thing since as this film shows, he isn’t all that great. He’s distracted too easily by women an doesn’t know how to avoid any traps. He is not the kind of guy that you want to rely on to save you. It’s just not going to work out very well in your favor.

The humor in the film can be pretty decent at times. When a character named Sheriff Pepper shows up, the film briefly becomes a full on comedy. The change in tone is rather dramatic but it works out well. The chase scene may be a bit too drawn out but it was nice to see the sheriff show up to yell at everybody. He really had a lot of confidence and so it made it easy for you to root for him.

I also appreciated the laughing villain who seemed to have some real supernatural abilities. He was tough to deal with and just kept on coming after Bond. This film delving into the supernatural like that also helped to increase the stakes, it’s just a shame that the villains couldn’t have been more entertaining otherwise. I also don’t really care about the tribe subplot with all the snakes. I did enjoy the New Orleans parade that would be used to bump off the heroes without anybody suspecting anything. That was a scene that I thought was actually super clever and both times it was used was really effective.

So if the Bond films could just stay away from the consistently terrible romances there might actually be something here. Have him act a little more professional. Meanwhile the opening credits song should be used more for total hype than for the fanservice. The songs sometimes aren’t even all that bad themselves but the images will have you cringing. The writing for the film isn’t all that bad either but everyone feels a little too easy. It’s at its best when the film is trying to be about the secret agent stuff. The gag where the driver was in on the whole trick was really good. That was an effective moment without a doubt and one of the big twists about the villain was also good. I would just say that for large portions of the film it didn’t feel like there was a ton of plot here. Certainly less so than in other films because this one got so ambitious with everything going on that it wasn’t always focused.

Overall, Live and Let Die is not one of Bond’s better films. It still has all the fanservice and one night affairs as the older films but without a lot of cool villains or action scenes to try and combat that. In fact, don’t expect Bond to be doing much of any fighting for most of this title. It can be funny to see Bond losing just about every encounter he does have without even putting up a fight but the actual plot isn’t nearly as interesting as it could have been. Ultimately this is a huge demerit to the film. I would recommend checking out some of the latest Bond films instead of this one. It simply doesn’t age well.

Overall 4/10

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 Review

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It’s time to return to the world of the Guardians of the Galaxy where they have to deal with a whole new threat. The films have had their ups and downs to be sure but how would this one wrap things up? Well, unfortunately I would say that it is the weakest one of the 3. The Rocket subplot is a double blow since it introduces animal violence while also writing him out of most of the movie. A very risky call no matter how you slice it since he is such a popular character. Ah well, we still do have a lot of fun banter with the rest of the characters.

The film starts off with the Guardians still being in a rocky spot as Star Lord grieves over not having Gamora around anymore. She died and was replaced with an alternate version of herself that never actually dated him. Now he just gets drunk all day but when the team is suddenly attacked and Rocket gets into critical condition, Star Lord realizes that he has to get his game on. Rocket’s unable to be healed by the usual sci-fi tech because of a bomb inside his chest and so they need to find a way to deactivate it. This may mean going up against the high Evolutionary but the team has never allowed themselves to be deterred before and they aren’t about to start now.

So lets get the dicey parts out of the way first. The High Evolutionary’s whole gimmick is that he experiments on animals in order to evolve them further. He aims to make a new human race that is superior to the old one. So naturally in a film adaption that means that we are seeing a lot of animals in rough states. Several of them were essentially dismantled and are part cyborgs now. Rocket grew up with a bunch of them so we see this quite a bit. Fortunately the surgeries already happened as that would have really pushed the envelope into absolutely terrible stories but it is a really dark plot that to this day you never need in any kind of film. It’s never going to elevate things.

Rocket also had a lot of experiments done on him which were quite painful. It’s a subplot that really drags the film since we cut away to it numerous times. Meanwhile the High Evolutionary looks really bad the whole time. I’m used to him being a fairly poised villain who is in control but here he constantly whines and it out of his depth. He doesn’t seem to be a great super genius and was unable to find Rocket for many years despite the guy being a world famous Guardian. This guy’s utopia didn’t even work as he has actual drug dealers running around.

He says he’ll just start again but why would a new attempt be any different? He feels like he is just completely insane. That’s not a bad thing for a villain necessarily but at the same time I would say that it just doesn’t make sense amidst the wider context. I would argue it makes his whole goal seem weird since he wasn’t even close to succeeding and having Rocket won’t really help with that. he discards all of his test subjects too quickly.

While the film also did a number on Warlock in terms of totally changing his character, at least he was funny. I can see why longtime fans wouldn’t appreciate this version since he’s nothing like the comics/games but at least he looks reasonably strong. I would argue he should have crushed the Guardians with ease though since that team is hardly the strongest one out there. I suppose he just lets his guard down a little too quickly when the going gets tough. With the Sentry coming up, Warlock’s probably not going to be able to stand out quite as much in his next appearance.

Where the film is stronger is in the usual banter. If you liked their discussions in the first two films then you should like them here as well. This team loves to constantly be bashing each other and they’re always doing pranks. For better or worse, you can’t trust your teammates on the small stuff but you can count on them when the stakes are serious. Mantis is always pranking Drax despite his many protests, Star Lord seems like he can’t help but constantly flirt with Gamora, etc. The team is completely dysfunctional but you could say that’s part of the fun.

The only member who is mainly left out is Groot thanks to Rocket being gone the whole time. Still a rough decision I gotta say and they should have kept him awake the whole time and helping out, just have there be a time limit on the bomb or something. From the Guardians I would say Mantis was my favorite character. Yeah she is definitely very immature and gets the team into a lot of trouble but at the same time I would say she cares about the team the most. She is always doing everything she can in order to help the rest out. Her attempts sometimes backfire but it’s the thought that counts.

Gamora is also solid considering how much she has to put up with. She is completely a different person than the old one so it’s really not fair how much pressure they put on her. I was glad that she stuck to her guns and did not let peer pressure win. That would have been a pretty bad look if you ask me. It was also good to have at least one team member who could fight well and keep the team on track. I would say that’s Drax’s role but he still ends up being the team’s jobber for most of the film. He does well against Warlock in the opening fight though so I’ll give him that. He also gets some big moments near the end of the film.

I didn’t care much for Yondu’s replacement but at least he doesn’t appear much. He was being kinda rude to Cosmo for no good reason. Cosmo did good though and reminded viewers why he is one of the most powerful creatures here. His mental abilities are really impressive. Finally we have Star Lord and he does not look good at all here. Getting so drunk and wasted during the intro was really rough. I needed him to step up as the team leader a whole lot sooner than he did. This is supposed to be his team after all, it was time for him to man up and act like it. I already talked about the Gamora stuff but yeah he’s just too desperate. I think he works well as the whiny comic relief in most cases, the serious moments just don’t hit as hard.

The film does a good job of making him funny at least though. I would make the case that the humor in the film tends to land more than it doesn’t. For that reason I would label the film more as a comedy adventure than adding any action to it. We do get some good fight scenes but I would say no great ones. The first fight with Warlock is way too slow and the best fight is the room battle near the end where everyone fights at once. Unfortunately there isn’t a great climax fight this time. I think the reason is because the High Evolutionary can’t really fight so there was no big villain that would force the heroes to team up against him.

While the second film had a lot of faults, it did deliver on a rather big climax which also had Star Lord’s best scene in the MCU. If you take away the Rocket subplot entirely then this film has a clean win over the second film but with it then it does end up sinking more than expected. Ultimately I guess you just can’t beat the original film which had all the fun first meetings. It was probably the funniest as well. In general it’s not possible for every joke in a comedy film to land but I would say most of them did there. A good amount landed in this film as well though.

As for the music, I would say it’s a step down from the first two films. Maybe that means low key the new music eras can’t beat the 80s. That is definitely possible although I tend to like 2000s so maybe it’s just the selection. There were no themes here that felt like they would become iconic or anything like that. They were good enough but not crazy good. Meanwhile we don’t get the usual big stingers at the end of this film so the ending is rather subdued.

Overall, Guardians 3 could have been better. It definitely suffers from having one of the worst MCU villains to date and not having a proper super bad to end the film with. Removing Rocket from most of the film was not a good decision and of course his backstory really ended up hurting the film as well. This was just one negative too many for the film to get around and so that sealed its fate. I think if you go into the film as a fan of the Guardians and just want a fun time you may get the best out of this. If you’re going in as an action fan or a big comic book guy, then you are probably not going to have as good a time here between Warlock and the High Evolutionary.

Overall 4/10

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. Review

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Coming of age stories are always a very hard sell for me. They tend to be a bit more dramatic than needed and also make the characters look very whiny. Look, coming of age isn’t particularly hard. Being a kid is fun. Being a teen is fun. And yeah being an adult is fun too. Each part tends to have its high points but as a kid you can still be a high quality character yet these films always portray kids as being the most annoying characters possible. You just shake your head every time they show up.

Margaret is the main character here and the film starts with her family letting her know that they are moving over to New Jersey. Margaret has been a lifetime New yorker and so she isn’t happy about this. To her, NYC is where it’s at but the parents take her along to start the next chapter of her life. The next door neighbor shows up and announces that they can be friends. This girl is really outgoing and Margaret is just glad to have a friend so quickly. This girl has several other friends so all of a sudden Margaret is in a clique. It all feels fun but there is something empty about this life and she also begins to realize that she may be a pat of the bully squad. How can she get out of this?

Another source for drama here is that her father is Jewish and her mother is Christian. Naturally both religions are completely incompatible and she will need to choose one at some point. They made a joint decision not to pressure her one way or the other but the stakes are naturally high. Only one of them can be right after all and the wrong one will be going to hell by the end. Can Margaret really afford to take it slow right now? In a way the parents decision to not pressure her also means it’ll be tough for Margaret to ask either one for help so she is really on her own here.

This one mostly only starts to become a big deal by the climax of the film when the family gets involved and naturally escalates things. You want to say that everyone can just get along but I dare say this is a bigger deal than if your family has opposing politics. Opposing religions is literally a matter of life and death based on the outcomes according to each type. It’s why if you intend to have kids, I would argue you should not marry if you have different beliefs. It will only lead to problems down the line and you also have to consider that it is easier to be dragged down than to bring someone up. So if you marry thinking that you can convert your partner, think again. That is a massive risk no matter how you look at it.

Back to Margaret though, a big problem with her character is how easy it is to cause her to act cruelly towards the other kids. She believes rude rumors about a tall classmate right away and never even stops to think that this could be a lie. So she is hanging out with the bullies and never suspects a thing. She also allows them to convince her to do crazy things and never utilizes her freewill. She is just too desperate to fit in the whole time. It would have been nice if she could have confided in her parents more instead of just hiding things. Her mom in particular tried doing her best to help out but when the secrets are kept, there is only so much that the adults can do. They were basically frozen out.

Margaret is also just a kid so it’s a bit early for her to be thinking about crushes and stuff. The parents definitely needed to make sure games like spin the bottle and the closet of doom weren’t being played. Fortunately those are games that don’t really get played as much nowadays. I like to think most people have seen the problems with them but even for back in the day it’s crazy to think those things were happening. I would view the film in general as a good cautionary tale to be careful who you hang out with.

Everyone thinks they can be the exception but if you hang out with troublemakers then you will probably become one yourself. You’ll just learn too many bad mentalities and habits over time. It’s why it was hard to even root for Margaret the whole time since you kept seeing her on the wrong side. Also the film’s idea of what the kids would talk about tended to be more on the annoying side. It’s not that the writing was bad per say. It might even be slightly realistic although I have my doubts. It’s just that the script is not engaging as a result so the pacing really drags on.

I’d say the only main character who was holding it together the whole time was the teacher. He was trying to be funny and help everyone out as much as he could. I would have said the mother too since I mainly enjoyed her character but she did allow herself to be used a bit too easily at the school. I was glad she got past that though. The grandparents on the father’s side felt very manipulative so they get a thumbs down. The grandmother on the mom’s side was perhaps a bit aggressive but I cut her more slack since she was there the whole time and had a great relationship with Margaret. So she earned more credit in advance. The father was decently solid too for most of the film, I was glad that he didn’t make a fuss about there being no furniture and just made himself comfortable anyway. It’s always good to be easygoing and just let the chips fall where they may. Unfortunately he crashes by the end of the film for having crazy magazines in the house, I thought Margaret was bluffing the whole time to fit in so I was shocked when she actually found them. Yeah that was a terrible look for the guy, he doesn’t seem to be living the most moral of lives.

Overall, This film definitely wasn’t up my alley. It’s just not all that interesting and often times when characters are written to be “super realistic” they tend to just be unlikable the whole time. This film badly needed better characters and maybe even more of a plot aside from the whole themes of growing up. That’s just not enough for a whole film and you still need something really interesting to catch your attention.

Overall 4/10

The Black Room Review

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The Black Room is a reminder that sometimes characters really don’t know what they are doing and fall for the most obvious traps imaginable. While watching this film, I had to see character after character just make absolutely massive mistakes. They were all very preventable which was the worst part. The film can be funny at times in an ironic kind of way but as a whole I would say the film still ends up falling flat. It’s definitely far from my highest recommendation within the genre.

The film begins with a king being rather worried because the prophecy says that his younger kid will murder the older one within the Black Room. An advisor wisely says to just bury the room so the king does. Many years pass and Anton decides to go home to see his brother. Gregor had always seemed worried that Anton would murder him so Anton gave him space but by now things should be fine. He is rather surprised to learn that everybody hates Gregor but doesn’t put much stock in it. He knows that his brother is a force for good after all. Well, as it so happens, Gregor is a rather big villain who had been disappearing all of the women in the village and doesn’t really bother hiding this. Now that he needs to since Anton’s IQ is in the single digits. Can Anton escape with his life?

I’d say all of the characters have a little bit of blame in a film like this. First off is the fact that the Colonel never made a move against Gregor sooner. He finds the guy deplorable but still plays chess with him often and isn’t trying to arrest the guy. After a point if people keep disappearing after seeing Gregor you gotta make some kind of a move. It’s also not like Gregor is denying anything, he just relaxes and acts smug the whole time. The Colonel only cares once the situation involves his own daughter and even then he is slow on the uptake.

“I’ll expose you to the world and get you hanged! Now let me make a call to the police” Naturally turning your back to a supposed mass murderer when you’re alone with him in a room full of solid objects is a really bad idea. Then you have the house attendant. “Hey, I’m going to spread some really bad rumors about you to ensure you will never get with the girl you like. Don’t you dare try and stop me…” This line of argumentation didn’t go over very well for her either as you can probably guess.

Anton’s is probably the absolute worst though. He follows Gregor into a basement where Gregor starts to talk about all of his crimes at length. Anton is in such denial that he starts spamming questions. All of Gregor’s responses are a simple “Yes”. Anton finally runs out of questions and slowly it begins to dawn on him. He will not be leaving this room alive. He’s really not all that bright but neither are the rest of the characters.

Even Gregor as the first time he is found out for his hand writing, it’s a rather obvious blunder. Just write with your non dominant hand. It might look a little messy but taking a big gamble there isn’t very smart. He really only has himself to blame for getting exposed as the guy has no patience. He’s also lucky that this was the most subdued mob ever s usually he would have been torn apart the first time they visited the house. The film had nonstop plot armor the whole time which was just annoying.

Even the main heroine Thea came across as hopelessly naive. It felt like every character immediately liked her. Her own fiancé warned her about this and she was quick to dismiss his worries. Another idea that didn’t go well by just continuing to make appearances. She needed to find a way to just leave town along with him. Even if the main villain wasn’t crazy, it’s probably not a good idea to hang out with royalty when there’s even a chance that they like you romantically. That kind of deal goes badly even in real life because of how much authority they have. The fiancé is also taken down rather easily although at least unlike the other victims, it was in a way that he could not possibly have escaped. It just makes Thea look worse for being ready to move on.

Rebounds are always sketchy, but especially when your first partner goes out in such a violent way. The movie isn’t particularly dark or violent as the deaths are pretty quick or off screened but it definitely does get annoying to see them all make these mistakes over and over again. At some point you really need to just connect the dots. Like I said before it can be funny in an ironic kind of way at times but that’s definitely not what the film was going for. It’s just easy to poke fun at how badly the characters handle every twist of fate. How the town let things get this bad is beyond me.

It’s implied that Gregor made many women disappear. Not just 2-3 but quite a lot and the families just let this go every time? That kind of plot works when it’s the King and he has an army or something but it’s well documented here that everyone hates Gregor and he has no backup. Forget the mob, some vigilante would have taken him out by now right? The world building just didn’t connect with what was happening on screen and the villain got away with too much.

Overall, The Black Room is definitely not a good film. The characters are all as dumb as rocks and the whole movie would not be happening if the characters were thinking straight. They really should have handled things way differently and the fact that they didn’t feels like plot armor that was not nearly subtle enough. It’s not a particularly scary film either and I was actually expecting more supernatural elements. I dare say that those would have really helped the movie out in the long term. Not like it would have saved things either way I guess. In any event, you can definitely do much better within the genre.

Overall 4/10

The Black Stallion Review

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How much you actually enjoy this film will definitely come down to how much you enjoy the main kid. Will you find him annoying or endearing? For me he tended to be a bit more on the annoying side and so ultimately that didn’t help the film. The first half just takes way too long for anything to happen. The film gets significantly better once we are back to civilization but you really don’t feel yourself pulled into the movie. Instead you are on the outside wondering if the climax can save it all.

The film starts off by introducing us to Alec who is a bit of a quiet kid. He’s on a voyage with his father but unfortunately a big storm hits and he gets stranded on an island along with the Black Stallion. Alec must quickly learn how to fend for himself and stay alive. It’s definitely not an easy task for a little kid to handle so I give him props there. He also uses the time to get closer to the horse and it makes for a solid friendship the whole time. Once they make it back to civilization, Alec finds out that his horse is a great runner. Perhaps he can even be the best?

Technically I wouldn’t even say there is a ton of plot in this movie. Certainly not to the level you would expect to see in a movie that is around 2 hours. That is because a lot of the character development is really told through silent actions. Not a whole lot happens when it’s just Alec trying to survive on the island for example. Seeing him slowly get close to the horse can be emotional for some but for me I was really ready to get past this part. It’s why this is the crucial make or break point for the film. Me personally? I would have liked to have skipped to the civilization angle because to me that’s when the film really begins.

So that whole first half is basically dead time and while the film didn’t do anything wrong, not capturing my attention did hurt its chances of going up. Additionally in order to get to that point we had the horse get stuck and nearly drown early on. It felt like the horse was in a lot of distress throughout the movie which is always unnerving to see. The stallion was a very strong horse but I still didn’t want to see it get put through any hardships. This horse deserved a very happy life throughout. That’s absolutely what you want to see here.

As for once we get to civilization, I enjoyed the character of Henry. He helps a lot in training for the race events and just seemed like a nice guy. He was very supportive of Alec the whole time and really had his back. Without him, the racing would not have been possible. Alec and Henry certainly did put a lot of stress on Alec’s new guardian though who was understandably very hesitant to let him ride a horse. That is a dangerous profession and no amount of gaslighting can really get you around that fact.

Sure enough, the horse actually gets injured near the end. We still have an uplifting ending and things go well but yeah horse racing would not be the sport for me. In general I can do human racing but when you bring the animals into it, there are too many maybes for me. Are the horses all being treated right? What happens to the horse in last place? Working with animals is a very delicate field and not one that you want to get too mainstream because a lot of people are not really up for the task.

We’ll assume all the best in this film of course but even so there just isn’t a whole lot for me. At its core this is a film really about the kids and he’s just not good enough to hold the whole film. Kids rarely are, I always end up needing an adult to really liven things up. Since the bulk of the screentime is for the kid, it means that most of the film ends up being boring. That alone is enough for me to keep this film from making it into the green because it’s not a film that I would watch on my own.

I probably wouldn’t have made it past the opening 20 minutes on my own because I would be completely checked out. So I appreciate what the film is going for and I do appreciate there being good films aimed at the kids. This just isn’t one that suits my particular interests. At the end of the day, I certainly prefer to dislike a film based on the plot rather than on the content. So there isn’t anything particularly objectionable about this one. If you really like the idea of a kid surviving on his own in a proper coming of age story, then you’ll like this one.

Overall, I’d say parents will get the greatest amount of joy in this film. Seeing this kid take everything on with good cheer is definitely uplifting. You have to be really invested in that part of the story to make it to the race later on. That said, if you’re not a big fan of kids then it’s not like this film is really going to change your mind. The kid isn’t getting involved in a ton of banter or anything like that. If anything, he’s still fairly quiet even by the end of the film. Oh, he definitely has a lot more confidence but he certainly isn’t a big braggart. A sequel taking place 10 years later would probably be a whole lot more interesting to me. Not sure exactly where you would go with that one but it would solve my biggest issues with the film. So that was the Black Stallion, I can still safely say it beats the average animal film which tends to fall into bigger holes than simply being uneventful.

Overall 4/10