Category Archives: 4 Star Movies

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. Review

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Coming of age stories are always a very hard sell for me. They tend to be a bit more dramatic than needed and also make the characters look very whiny. Look, coming of age isn’t particularly hard. Being a kid is fun. Being a teen is fun. And yeah being an adult is fun too. Each part tends to have its high points but as a kid you can still be a high quality character yet these films always portray kids as being the most annoying characters possible. You just shake your head every time they show up.

Margaret is the main character here and the film starts with her family letting her know that they are moving over to New Jersey. Margaret has been a lifetime New yorker and so she isn’t happy about this. To her, NYC is where it’s at but the parents take her along to start the next chapter of her life. The next door neighbor shows up and announces that they can be friends. This girl is really outgoing and Margaret is just glad to have a friend so quickly. This girl has several other friends so all of a sudden Margaret is in a clique. It all feels fun but there is something empty about this life and she also begins to realize that she may be a pat of the bully squad. How can she get out of this?

Another source for drama here is that her father is Jewish and her mother is Christian. Naturally both religions are completely incompatible and she will need to choose one at some point. They made a joint decision not to pressure her one way or the other but the stakes are naturally high. Only one of them can be right after all and the wrong one will be going to hell by the end. Can Margaret really afford to take it slow right now? In a way the parents decision to not pressure her also means it’ll be tough for Margaret to ask either one for help so she is really on her own here.

This one mostly only starts to become a big deal by the climax of the film when the family gets involved and naturally escalates things. You want to say that everyone can just get along but I dare say this is a bigger deal than if your family has opposing politics. Opposing religions is literally a matter of life and death based on the outcomes according to each type. It’s why if you intend to have kids, I would argue you should not marry if you have different beliefs. It will only lead to problems down the line and you also have to consider that it is easier to be dragged down than to bring someone up. So if you marry thinking that you can convert your partner, think again. That is a massive risk no matter how you look at it.

Back to Margaret though, a big problem with her character is how easy it is to cause her to act cruelly towards the other kids. She believes rude rumors about a tall classmate right away and never even stops to think that this could be a lie. So she is hanging out with the bullies and never suspects a thing. She also allows them to convince her to do crazy things and never utilizes her freewill. She is just too desperate to fit in the whole time. It would have been nice if she could have confided in her parents more instead of just hiding things. Her mom in particular tried doing her best to help out but when the secrets are kept, there is only so much that the adults can do. They were basically frozen out.

Margaret is also just a kid so it’s a bit early for her to be thinking about crushes and stuff. The parents definitely needed to make sure games like spin the bottle and the closet of doom weren’t being played. Fortunately those are games that don’t really get played as much nowadays. I like to think most people have seen the problems with them but even for back in the day it’s crazy to think those things were happening. I would view the film in general as a good cautionary tale to be careful who you hang out with.

Everyone thinks they can be the exception but if you hang out with troublemakers then you will probably become one yourself. You’ll just learn too many bad mentalities and habits over time. It’s why it was hard to even root for Margaret the whole time since you kept seeing her on the wrong side. Also the film’s idea of what the kids would talk about tended to be more on the annoying side. It’s not that the writing was bad per say. It might even be slightly realistic although I have my doubts. It’s just that the script is not engaging as a result so the pacing really drags on.

I’d say the only main character who was holding it together the whole time was the teacher. He was trying to be funny and help everyone out as much as he could. I would have said the mother too since I mainly enjoyed her character but she did allow herself to be used a bit too easily at the school. I was glad she got past that though. The grandparents on the father’s side felt very manipulative so they get a thumbs down. The grandmother on the mom’s side was perhaps a bit aggressive but I cut her more slack since she was there the whole time and had a great relationship with Margaret. So she earned more credit in advance. The father was decently solid too for most of the film, I was glad that he didn’t make a fuss about there being no furniture and just made himself comfortable anyway. It’s always good to be easygoing and just let the chips fall where they may. Unfortunately he crashes by the end of the film for having crazy magazines in the house, I thought Margaret was bluffing the whole time to fit in so I was shocked when she actually found them. Yeah that was a terrible look for the guy, he doesn’t seem to be living the most moral of lives.

Overall, This film definitely wasn’t up my alley. It’s just not all that interesting and often times when characters are written to be “super realistic” they tend to just be unlikable the whole time. This film badly needed better characters and maybe even more of a plot aside from the whole themes of growing up. That’s just not enough for a whole film and you still need something really interesting to catch your attention.

Overall 4/10

The Black Room Review

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The Black Room is a reminder that sometimes characters really don’t know what they are doing and fall for the most obvious traps imaginable. While watching this film, I had to see character after character just make absolutely massive mistakes. They were all very preventable which was the worst part. The film can be funny at times in an ironic kind of way but as a whole I would say the film still ends up falling flat. It’s definitely far from my highest recommendation within the genre.

The film begins with a king being rather worried because the prophecy says that his younger kid will murder the older one within the Black Room. An advisor wisely says to just bury the room so the king does. Many years pass and Anton decides to go home to see his brother. Gregor had always seemed worried that Anton would murder him so Anton gave him space but by now things should be fine. He is rather surprised to learn that everybody hates Gregor but doesn’t put much stock in it. He knows that his brother is a force for good after all. Well, as it so happens, Gregor is a rather big villain who had been disappearing all of the women in the village and doesn’t really bother hiding this. Now that he needs to since Anton’s IQ is in the single digits. Can Anton escape with his life?

I’d say all of the characters have a little bit of blame in a film like this. First off is the fact that the Colonel never made a move against Gregor sooner. He finds the guy deplorable but still plays chess with him often and isn’t trying to arrest the guy. After a point if people keep disappearing after seeing Gregor you gotta make some kind of a move. It’s also not like Gregor is denying anything, he just relaxes and acts smug the whole time. The Colonel only cares once the situation involves his own daughter and even then he is slow on the uptake.

“I’ll expose you to the world and get you hanged! Now let me make a call to the police” Naturally turning your back to a supposed mass murderer when you’re alone with him in a room full of solid objects is a really bad idea. Then you have the house attendant. “Hey, I’m going to spread some really bad rumors about you to ensure you will never get with the girl you like. Don’t you dare try and stop me…” This line of argumentation didn’t go over very well for her either as you can probably guess.

Anton’s is probably the absolute worst though. He follows Gregor into a basement where Gregor starts to talk about all of his crimes at length. Anton is in such denial that he starts spamming questions. All of Gregor’s responses are a simple “Yes”. Anton finally runs out of questions and slowly it begins to dawn on him. He will not be leaving this room alive. He’s really not all that bright but neither are the rest of the characters.

Even Gregor as the first time he is found out for his hand writing, it’s a rather obvious blunder. Just write with your non dominant hand. It might look a little messy but taking a big gamble there isn’t very smart. He really only has himself to blame for getting exposed as the guy has no patience. He’s also lucky that this was the most subdued mob ever s usually he would have been torn apart the first time they visited the house. The film had nonstop plot armor the whole time which was just annoying.

Even the main heroine Thea came across as hopelessly naive. It felt like every character immediately liked her. Her own fiancé warned her about this and she was quick to dismiss his worries. Another idea that didn’t go well by just continuing to make appearances. She needed to find a way to just leave town along with him. Even if the main villain wasn’t crazy, it’s probably not a good idea to hang out with royalty when there’s even a chance that they like you romantically. That kind of deal goes badly even in real life because of how much authority they have. The fiancé is also taken down rather easily although at least unlike the other victims, it was in a way that he could not possibly have escaped. It just makes Thea look worse for being ready to move on.

Rebounds are always sketchy, but especially when your first partner goes out in such a violent way. The movie isn’t particularly dark or violent as the deaths are pretty quick or off screened but it definitely does get annoying to see them all make these mistakes over and over again. At some point you really need to just connect the dots. Like I said before it can be funny in an ironic kind of way at times but that’s definitely not what the film was going for. It’s just easy to poke fun at how badly the characters handle every twist of fate. How the town let things get this bad is beyond me.

It’s implied that Gregor made many women disappear. Not just 2-3 but quite a lot and the families just let this go every time? That kind of plot works when it’s the King and he has an army or something but it’s well documented here that everyone hates Gregor and he has no backup. Forget the mob, some vigilante would have taken him out by now right? The world building just didn’t connect with what was happening on screen and the villain got away with too much.

Overall, The Black Room is definitely not a good film. The characters are all as dumb as rocks and the whole movie would not be happening if the characters were thinking straight. They really should have handled things way differently and the fact that they didn’t feels like plot armor that was not nearly subtle enough. It’s not a particularly scary film either and I was actually expecting more supernatural elements. I dare say that those would have really helped the movie out in the long term. Not like it would have saved things either way I guess. In any event, you can definitely do much better within the genre.

Overall 4/10

The Black Stallion Review

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How much you actually enjoy this film will definitely come down to how much you enjoy the main kid. Will you find him annoying or endearing? For me he tended to be a bit more on the annoying side and so ultimately that didn’t help the film. The first half just takes way too long for anything to happen. The film gets significantly better once we are back to civilization but you really don’t feel yourself pulled into the movie. Instead you are on the outside wondering if the climax can save it all.

The film starts off by introducing us to Alec who is a bit of a quiet kid. He’s on a voyage with his father but unfortunately a big storm hits and he gets stranded on an island along with the Black Stallion. Alec must quickly learn how to fend for himself and stay alive. It’s definitely not an easy task for a little kid to handle so I give him props there. He also uses the time to get closer to the horse and it makes for a solid friendship the whole time. Once they make it back to civilization, Alec finds out that his horse is a great runner. Perhaps he can even be the best?

Technically I wouldn’t even say there is a ton of plot in this movie. Certainly not to the level you would expect to see in a movie that is around 2 hours. That is because a lot of the character development is really told through silent actions. Not a whole lot happens when it’s just Alec trying to survive on the island for example. Seeing him slowly get close to the horse can be emotional for some but for me I was really ready to get past this part. It’s why this is the crucial make or break point for the film. Me personally? I would have liked to have skipped to the civilization angle because to me that’s when the film really begins.

So that whole first half is basically dead time and while the film didn’t do anything wrong, not capturing my attention did hurt its chances of going up. Additionally in order to get to that point we had the horse get stuck and nearly drown early on. It felt like the horse was in a lot of distress throughout the movie which is always unnerving to see. The stallion was a very strong horse but I still didn’t want to see it get put through any hardships. This horse deserved a very happy life throughout. That’s absolutely what you want to see here.

As for once we get to civilization, I enjoyed the character of Henry. He helps a lot in training for the race events and just seemed like a nice guy. He was very supportive of Alec the whole time and really had his back. Without him, the racing would not have been possible. Alec and Henry certainly did put a lot of stress on Alec’s new guardian though who was understandably very hesitant to let him ride a horse. That is a dangerous profession and no amount of gaslighting can really get you around that fact.

Sure enough, the horse actually gets injured near the end. We still have an uplifting ending and things go well but yeah horse racing would not be the sport for me. In general I can do human racing but when you bring the animals into it, there are too many maybes for me. Are the horses all being treated right? What happens to the horse in last place? Working with animals is a very delicate field and not one that you want to get too mainstream because a lot of people are not really up for the task.

We’ll assume all the best in this film of course but even so there just isn’t a whole lot for me. At its core this is a film really about the kids and he’s just not good enough to hold the whole film. Kids rarely are, I always end up needing an adult to really liven things up. Since the bulk of the screentime is for the kid, it means that most of the film ends up being boring. That alone is enough for me to keep this film from making it into the green because it’s not a film that I would watch on my own.

I probably wouldn’t have made it past the opening 20 minutes on my own because I would be completely checked out. So I appreciate what the film is going for and I do appreciate there being good films aimed at the kids. This just isn’t one that suits my particular interests. At the end of the day, I certainly prefer to dislike a film based on the plot rather than on the content. So there isn’t anything particularly objectionable about this one. If you really like the idea of a kid surviving on his own in a proper coming of age story, then you’ll like this one.

Overall, I’d say parents will get the greatest amount of joy in this film. Seeing this kid take everything on with good cheer is definitely uplifting. You have to be really invested in that part of the story to make it to the race later on. That said, if you’re not a big fan of kids then it’s not like this film is really going to change your mind. The kid isn’t getting involved in a ton of banter or anything like that. If anything, he’s still fairly quiet even by the end of the film. Oh, he definitely has a lot more confidence but he certainly isn’t a big braggart. A sequel taking place 10 years later would probably be a whole lot more interesting to me. Not sure exactly where you would go with that one but it would solve my biggest issues with the film. So that was the Black Stallion, I can still safely say it beats the average animal film which tends to fall into bigger holes than simply being uneventful.

Overall 4/10

Johnny Mnemonic Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those sci-fi films that is really all over the place. It’s a dystopia but definitely not the most interesting one out there. I do like that corporate is basically the big villain in all of this but even then I wouldn’t say that it is the big win you might be hoping that it is. That’s just not enough to carry the film and so this won’t be remembered as one of the better sci-fi titles.

Our main character is Johnny and his job is to transport confidential information around. With the internet being incredibly compromised, people rely on humans to traffic the data like this. Johnny puts it in his head and then gives it to the client. He wants out of this gig, but his partner tells him that he will need to do one last job first. The problem is that this latest job has a data size that is way above Johnny’s specs. There is just no way that he can process all of this. So what is he going to do? Well Johnny figures he’ll download it anyway and it should be fine. Unfortunately this job isn’t as straight forward as it appeared and now he’s on the run from the Yakuza. He has a bodyguard named Jane helping him but she is not in the best shape. Yeah this is gonna be rough.

Right from the jump Johnny’s decision is just really dumb here. I know that he’s in a hurry to get out of the business but downloading something into his brain that can’t fit just seems like an easy trip to the grave. It’s not a brave or smart thing to do, it’s just plain dumb. A really foolish move and he is counting on the fact that he doesn’t just die instantly from this. He has a few hours before the brain leakage goes too far but any form of brain leakage obviously brings some risks along with it. So yeah this was a bad idea.

Then Johnny’s partner is super shady from the start so it comes as no surprise to find out that he’s involved with the craziness too. First rule of Dystopias is not to trust anybody. Johnny ends up working with Jane out of necessity but it’s not like he can trust her either. She is very strong and capable but gets a severe case of the shakes all the time. That puts her in a really rough spot for any professional gigs so she is also desperate enough to work with a shady fellow like Johnny. Surely there is no way any romance could bloom out of this right? That would just be poor writing.

It just feels like the story is already pretty forced from the jump with Johnny getting into this mess. There’s just no way he should have stuffed his mind and surely he could have found another job. The people giving him the data also seemed very ill prepared for the villains who showed up later on. You’d think that they would have been more prepared. Ah well, Johnny does his best but I wouldn’t say that he is the most interesting lead character.

Jane is okay and I would even say that the shakes aren’t as bad as the film treats them. Jane’s very first scene has her crushing another bodyguard so clearly she is still strong enough to take out the average fighter. Should shaking really be such a big deal? It feels like in most cases she would still be able to get along just fine even if she will need some breaks here and there. Well, at least she does well as the body guard.

The most interesting villain is the Preacher. He’s a complete nutjob who is a hitman that likes to quote the scriptures the whole time. A real twisted guy but he’s also just such a random addition to the film. Corporate hires him whenever they desperately need some action but the idea that this huge company needs to resort to this is pretty funny. The corporation has so much unbelievable power at their disposal and they still need a secret hitman? It’s not like this is a one time thing either, from the conversation it sounds like they summon him from time to time.

Then for all the hype the Preacher gets, the heroes just run him over during their first encounter. Way to ruin the hype right? It was a very questionable decision as soon as it happened. Preacher does return and gets his share of victims but you still keep remembering the first moment. Naturally the film can get a bit violent so keep that in mind if you’re the squeamish type. The film isn’t holding back with how dark the future gets after all so this is not for the faint of heart.

We also meet a friend of Jane’s, The Spider. This guy doesn’t really like the future. He thinks that things should be done without all the electronics everywhere and he tries to be old school. He was entertaining so I appreciated that. The guy was constantly upset about everything and would really speak his mind. More characters like him could have made the film more interesting. I also did like one of the main villains, Shinji. He had a cool energy whip that could cut through nearly anything. It made him a very deadly fighter and the weapon just looks cool in action. He certainly gets his share of hits in.

I do think the film had some potential here but it’s all convoluted without being super interesting. I like a good mystery and sci-fi babble but it just doesn’t always go anywhere. We have a plot with a lady in the screen with ties to Johnny’s past, a resistance that has been around for a while, and both of those elements don’t appear as much as you would think. It’s the kind of title that has a whole lot of world building and character development behind the scenes but we just don’t get to see it. It probably would have worked better as a full on series.

I would also say that as a future story it should have embraced the fun sci-fi elements a bit more. Bring in more cool weapons like Shinji’s energy whip. Johnny isn’t a super fighter or anything like that so it would make sense for him to be carrying something instead of having to hope that he can deal with these guys in hand to hand combat. When you’re dealing with the future it’s not like you need to stick to some pre-existing ideas.

Overall, I think the film could have been better but it’s not nearly as interesting as you would expect. The film could even be a bit dull at times. The idea of people carrying information in their brains is interesting and dare I even say realistic? I could totally see that being the case in the future. Corporate as the villain was also a good idea but it just goes to show that you need more than ideas. You need proper execution! If you want a good sci-fi film, you should definitely check out something like Sword Art Online instead.

Overall 4/10

Up in the Air Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

This film definitely brings up some interesting points and ideas. I had a good time with the philosophical angles of the film even if I thought it came away with the wrong answers each time. Sometimes you want a film that makes you think like this one though and so that part worked out. Ultimately I wouldn’t say it was a good film though as it made too many mistakes and I had too many issues with it. I can say that it is certainly memorable though and not one of those titles you will soon forget.

The movie starts by introducing us to Ryan who has the very unenviable job of having to fire people. Basically his company are professional firers, so if a company doesn’t have the heart to fire somebody, then this place does it. Ryan rather enjoys the job because it allows him to be in the air almost every day of the year and his life’s goal is to reach 10 million miles. Sure the job itself isn’t fun, but that’s all it is…a job. So Ryan aims to make the most of it but one day he is called back to home base because the big brass had an idea. Why not use computers so that they can fire people remotely?

Ryan is completely against the idea on principle but also because it would mean no more travel. He’s now expected to fly Natalie, the girl who suggested this idea, around the world with him so she gets a feel for the business. He needs to show her just how difficult this line of work is but along the way she starts trying to put ideas into his head about needing a life away from work. Is she about to confuse this guy who had his life in order?

The main conflict of course is the whole idea of being forced to work from the office but beneath that is the real struggle here. Ryan has always lived a life of isolation. He has affairs and one night stands but keeps himself untethered to anybody. That’s the way he likes it, all the fun without any of the responsibility. He scoffs at the idea of a true romance and basically has his life all mapped out. He even meets up with a girl named Alex who agrees to a friends with benefits sort of relationship. It’s certainly not a wholesome life but Ryan thinks that he has really found something here. Well, that is until Natalie starts talking to him.

She accuses him of intentionally limiting his options, not taking Alex seriously, and of basically being really lonely. Ryan only thinks that he’s happy but he isn’t actually happy. That’s her frame of mind at least. Then Ryan has to meet up with his family for a wedding and despite seeing how disastrous it all is for everybody, he starts to believe that maybe having a family would be a good thing. Hmm..probably not the best idea here, at least not with the current people that he knows.

One thing you have to understand is that from the start, Alex is portrayed as being exactly like Ryan. They’re both extremely easy and are always up for some “fun” because they don’t have any real morals. It’s not a true relationship, it’s all just surface level. Ryan lets himself get tricked out of this to the extent that he basically makes a fool of himself but ultimately he only has himself to blame here. He should have seen all of this coming. So in the end of the film you don’t really feel bad for him, it was a big mistake and he’ll learn from it.

I would even say that despite the framing, it’s not a sad ending. The only tragic thing is that he wasn’t able to really enjoy the big airplane moment that he had been looking forward to. Everything else he will get over very shortly. It’s just a small stumbling block on the rest of his journey. He will be back to being levelheaded and everything else will march into place. It’s not as if Ryan is a good person. He’s clearly into bad habits and a toxic way of living but I don’t think he was secretly unhappy or anything like that. This is just what he enjoys and the life that he wants to lead. I would say what Natalie was telling him was just projecting how she wants to live her life.

I would even say that Natalie’s life was considerably sadder the whole time. She has a pretty rough breakup, she watches her big work project go up in flames, and finally she is the one who is forced to turn her back on a pretty big career trajectory. The ending for her looks promising and that’s a good thing but she probably needs to check her route as well. Meanwhile Alex is basically like Ryan. Certainly not a good person and living life on the rough side but it’s basically what she does. I don’t see her changing anytime soon and eventually it’ll all catch up to her.

It goes without saying that the romance is particularly weak here. It’s not like you’re ever able to root for Ryan and Alex. You see them as a temporary convenience and only Natalie is initially unable to see that. Their scenes tend to be rather painful which I’d say is probably the point. While the film may have been trying to say that Ryan lost out by focusing so much at work, I’d say the wedding subplot hurts that. There are a whole lot of issues going on there and of course the groom getting cold feet at the end was pretty terrible.

This film pretty much makes the argument of why you would want to stay out of relationships. Yes they can be a lot of fun but they can also completely derail your life and need tremendous amounts of upkeep. When Ryan and Alex have their sort of debates with Natalie, they come out the victor in each event. I would even say they got the ultimate victory by enabling Natalie to have a one night stand with a random stranger. Not quite the decision that someone who aims to have a stable family would do right? You’ll have to be careful not to let this film make you too jaded about actual relationships.

There are counter arguments to Ryan’s methodologies about romance and love of course but Natalie isn’t able to properly articulate any of them. So by the end of the film the solo life looks a lot more promising than it could have been. Regardless it does go back to my main point where I’d say Ryan is reasonably happy. He has a job that keeps him busy, a goal that gives his life purpose, etc. At the end of the day those two things can carry you through a whole lot.

Overall, Up in the Air is a jaded film but one that brings up interesting topics. I had a good time with it and the only things that bring it down tend to be the romance and at times the writing can be a little sketchy. The film is absolutely at its best when showing Ryan at the job. Now I don’t think anybody in the rooms would have bought his speeches at all. I think that part was all way too smooth to be realistic but the film is trying to keep a fairly light tone throughout all of this. There are a good amount of jokes to undercut the tension every now and then. The film did have a good sense of humor, enough so where it’s almost hard to get yourself adjusted when the film goes super serious later on. If you want to watch a film with debates on romance then this is a decent one to check out but technically I would sooner recommend an actual romance film and you can use that as a bar to see if it’s the life you want.

Overall 4/10

The Purple Rose of Cairo Review

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It’s time for a movie that has an interesting premise but never really gets into it. The movie has some ideas but the whole thing is bogged down by a terrible romance. Ultimately the film’s humor style just didn’t work out so the whole thing ends up being a dud but I do appreciate the attempt. Sometimes these films just can’t score the big W and that’s just how it goes. I’d like a remake some day that’s more of a horror thriller about the real subplot going on here.

The movie introduces us to Cecilia who is a very unhappy person. She is married to a rather abusive guy who is always cheating on her and doesn’t bring in any money. He’s basically a deadbeat. Meanwhile she has a hard time concentrating on anything and keeps on messing up at her job until she is fired. Her only real place to be calm and have a good time is at the movie theater so she goes there to continually watch a film as much as possible. One day the main character Tom jumps out of the screen and announces that he’s in love with her. Cecilia is shocked by this but then the actor who plays the character (Gil) shows up and also says he likes her. She must now choose between these men but of course she is also still married an has to think about this. What can she do?

First off Cecilia looks really bad here. At the risk of sounding like victim blaming here, she really gets herself into constant trouble. Everything at the job was completely her fault. She was not focusing at all and was instead gossiping the entire time. That’s never going to be a good idea and will naturally get her into trouble. She kept on dropping things and getting the wrong order so yeah that was a bad look. Then with the husband this is easier said than done but she needed to actually leave him. You just can’t get past this many red flags in one guy. Cheating and abusive and broke? That’s just absolutely terrible and it sounds like he has been like this for a very long time so it’s not like this is recent either. Oh no this is definitely a bad look all the way.

Finally when he comes down to choosing Tom or his actor, Cecilia looks really bad and naive here. For starters, it’s not like Gil was subtle at all about wanting to force Tom back in the screen to save his acting career. So didn’t Cecilia think for a second it was odd that Gil suddenly started liking her? Almost like this would make Tom lose his hope and just settle back into the screen? Basically Cecilia was played here and so while it leads to a sad ending, it ultimately it a situation that she created once again.

Gil isn’t a nice guy but you don’t expect him to be. He’s one of those Hollywood hotshots who is basically doing whatever he likes and she should have seen through that way easier. As for Tom, the guy is super oblivious to everything and seems to be lacking in common sense but at least he tries his best. He was able to turn down a bunch of the sketchy women who were after him after all so I can give him some credit there. That whole scene lasted a bit too long though.

What you’re really interested in is the subplot of how Tom broke through the film screen. We find out that as soon as the film is digitized, the characters become real. They’re also all unique to the exact picture that is being played. So for example if you have 100 copies of the film, then there are 100 Toms. No character has ever left the movie before but it seems like it’s something that is possible if a character ever thought about it. We find out that this has started a bit of a revolt abroad to the point where people are pulling the movie.

The fact that all the characters are actually sentient is pretty crazy. They are also immortal as shown when Tom could not be hurt despite someone trying to beat him up. There are a whole lot of ramifications to this but the movie is mainly a comedy so the characters just laugh about it. It’s a shame because that was the most interesting part of the film with ease. The whole movie industry would suddenly become a lot more dangerous if the characters could just leap out of the screen like that. Additionally we see that real people can jump into the movies as well.

Unfortunately we end up having to go back to the romance plot. Putting everything else to the side for a moment, if Cecilia was actually a decisive person that would have helped out a lot. Like if she decided to be with Tom, then not giving Gil the time of day would have been good. Maybe making it official with her husband that they are through, etc. These are all steps that she should have taken and that would have been a really good idea. Instead she is just too scattered and starts rambling about random things all the time.

Her character is just way too weak willed throughout the movie and that’s the real problem here. Even before she gets suckered at the end of the film, she never really makes the right decisions. The writing in general isn’t great either. I did like the movie itself within the movie because there all of the dialogue was on point. In the present though, the characters were all a bit too extreme like Tom being oblivious, Cecilia being indecisive, her husband being whiny, etc. It’s not exactly the kind of writing that grips you.

Overall, This is not a movie I would recommend. Just like how Cecilia wastes money on movie tickets and popcorn every night despite being ultra broke, it would not be the wisest decision for you to watch this film. Check out a different romance title instead. There are plenty of much better ones out there after all and they will all steer you down a better path. This is the path you want to go, only if you want to see an interesting premise that is shoved to the side. There are few things more tragic than a great premise that is never explored.

Overall 4/10

I.Q. Review

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It’s time for a romance film that has a fairly unique gimmick but at the same time it doesn’t feel like this actually changes the flow of the movie all that much. In fact, the movie would likely be about the same either way. Unfortunately it suffers from having a particularly weak romance and the characters aren’t really likable. When you’ve got an unlikable cast and the romance in a romance film is weak…well there’s not a whole lot more you can do about this. The film just ends up being doomed upon arrival.

The movie starts with introducing us to Catherine and James who are engaged to be married. It’s a rather big deal for them of course but their individual careers are also rather big. They aren’t really the romantic types but things just worked out. Well, one day their car breaks down and so they head to a mechanic’s shop to fix it. Unfortunately one of the workers there is a very unprofessional gentleman named Ed who immediately falls for Catherine and starts to bad mouth James. Ed has no sense of tact or anything like that and basically just does whatever he wants. Naturally Catherine isn’t overly fond of him so Ed works with her uncle Einstein to try and make a favorable impression. To do this, he pretends to suddenly be a genius who solved the problem of nuclear energy. Sure enough this does catch Catherine’s attention but the other problem here is that now the whole state of New Jersey is really hyped about this. Has he set himself up to fail?

The story itself is a classic of one person pretending to be somebody that they’re not in order to attract the other but of course it usually does equal out to being a bad romance. For starters this means the relationship will be starting off of a massive deception. You also have to factor in that she is already engaged here. Yes, the film tries to show us that James is a boring guy who doesn’t add a lot of spice to the world but at the same time it’s not like Catherine really signed up for a super romantic guy.

His one really bad scene was when he wouldn’t start having fun with her during the middle of a dinner engagement. It wasn’t the best time for that anyway but even so it’s not like she was actively trying to leave the relationship. So Ed going after her so hard was just a bad look. Make no mistake, he takes the bulk of the blame on this one. He really should have just kept on living his life and not pursuing her. I also think the way he did it just came across as being distasteful too because he immediately started bashing James. Not a very nice thing to do.

Ed’s just hard to root for and the guy is constantly annoying. Meanwhile I do have to dock some points for Catherine for entertaining this at all. Yeah this guy is super smart now but that doesn’t means he has to play along and entertain the guy. She is already taken and off the market, that’s really all that he needs to know. She needs to completely leave the current relationship first before any of this could happen so yeah she isn’t a solid character either.

Finally you have Einstein and his team who are supporting Ed the whole time. It’s not a good look for them either since they should have been respecting the fact that she was already in a committed relationship. It also would have been nice if Einstein was more supportive of Catherine in general like when she found an error in Ed’s work and Einstein played dumb to help the guy out. Einstein may be a genius but he was completely out of his depth here.

The film actually showed some good restraint in not making James out to be some terrible creep. Ultimately they settled for just making him boring which is fine. That’s certainly not a terrible quality particularly with it being so subjective. You automatically end up rooting for the guy. The real losers in this fight were the American people though. Everybody was so excited about being the first to have nuclear power. Even the President was ready to get involved and it was going to be a huge victory for New Jersey in general. Ed got everybody’s hopes up only to let them down afterwards. Just not a good moment for him at all.

I rather liked Catherine’s boss as a character because he’s really emotionally involved in what he does. The guy was really trying to get Catherine to find a way to help out the company and then after that he did their best. It’s why lying is always a bad approach because there will always be several victims involved. Ed never actually seems all that remorseful for what he did though. They definitely could have made things a little tougher for him.

In terms of the comedic aspects of the film, it’s okay. It’s not the funniest film out there but there are a decent amount of jokes running around. It’s one of those things where the jokes would work better if you really enjoyed the characters. I liked Ed’s boss though, the guy was trying to keep it real the whole time but would crumble when it was time to get famous. He told Ed that the whole thing was a bad idea from the start though so I have to give him credit there. Then you had the scientists feeding Ed the right answers during tests but the whole thing was so obvious that it mainly just makes the side characters look bad.

Overall, I.Q. is not one of the better films. I feel like the premise absolutely dooms it from the start. The worst part is that you could cut out her fiancé and almost nothing changes yet it would help the film out quite a bit. Ed would still be annoying but at least he wouldn’t feel like a bad character so that’s an immediate improvement. It’s a reminder of how even small plot elements can really change a whole lot of things. All it takes is one story element to really shut things down. If they ever do a remake of this film perhaps they could really improve it. I doubt it’ll return tho.

Overall 4/10

The Outfit Review

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Whenever you have a gunman going up against some kind of a criminal syndicate you figure that they have to be absolutely doomed. There is just no way to outwit these kind of fighters right? You’re basically fighting off a whole army and yet that’s exactly what happens here. The Outfit got so used to winning that they are rather overconfident by this point. Definitely a dangerous spot to be in.

The movie starts out with the gang murdering Earl’s brother. Earl isn’t happy when he finds out about this after being released from prison. They try finishing him off as well but Earl was too fast and turns the tables. Now he wants revenge and so he’s going to start attacking “The Outfit” and stealing their money until they agree to his ransom demands. It’s an ambitious plan but he has a good friend willing to help him out. The only wild card here is his girlfriend. He wants her in the mix but she could end up being a liability. Will Earl’s stubbornness really get him into trouble?

Now this is at its core a film about villains fighting other villains. There aren’t really any heroes in the story, after all Earl was doing fairly heavy time in prison for his crime. So you have to decide if you’re rooting for Earl and his revenge or if you think the syndicate should win. Additionally you could just root for them all to be defeated and arrested by the cops but of course that is a bit of a longshot.

The movie also does make sure to show that Earl isn’t a particularly nice guy. His relationship with Bett is super toxic the whole time. He gets physical with her rather quickly and so again you are reassured that he is a total villain at heart. He is not some super nice guy or anything like that. The villains are all corrupt as well so it’s basically a wash. To an extent you don’t really mind whichever side gets it.

When a car tune-up goes wrong thanks to some false allegations from a scorned lady, we do unfortunately get some animal violence as a dog is murdered. That was definitely the low point of the film. The movie definitely did not need that scene and finding a way to avoid it would have helped the film greatly. There was enough tension and loss in the film without having to go that far. The whole plot there was really a bit out of nowhere and you could have just skipped the scene as a whole.

The film is at its best when it’s just about Earl and Cody taking out villains at every base that they stop at. It does make the Outfit look rather weak though with how they don’t beef up security or do much of anything. The leader himself can’t even be bothered until it all finally comes close to home. Still, you’d think there would be some communication going out and alerting everyone of what’s going on though. That would have made sense and then the main two would find it harder and harder to break into the bases. Instead the difficulty never really goes up as the Outfit doesn’t adapt at all.

Earl even laughs about how easy it is at the end of the film. He’s not wrong either since the whole thing was super easy. This is the kind of film that I’m surprised didn’t have a more somber or ironic ending like the two betraying each other or not. I guess ultimately they just made it through the situation and would be ready for a sequel. This time they’ll probably want to avoid adding any more characters because Bett definitely made all the rookie mistakes you could imagine. It’s always annoying to see characters just breaking the safety rules because they got upset or impatient. Not a very good business move.

Aside from the toxic romance parts, Earl works decently well as the main character. It’s just a big thing to try and put to the side. Not having any romance plot would have definitely been a good thing for the film because it’s not like it really served any kind of purpose here. Cody was a good friend and definitely came through a whole lot of times. If Earl had been on his own then he would never have been able to get as far as he did. For all of his skills, one man alone would not beat an organization while just having one more makes this a whole new ballgame.

As it is there is still a considerable amount of plot armor here. At one point the villains trap them inside a fairly small room with agents posted everywhere and they manage to shoot their way out of there. Even the main villain comments on how crazy this is. I’d be upset too since the organization had the element of surprise and the numbers advantage. When you still find a way to lose with all of that on your side, well there is no real coming back from that. It means that your organization is seriously lacking in skill and it goes back to how complacent they’ve become. They rely on their reputation over skill at this point and it really came back to bite them.

Overall, I would have appreciated a tougher end for the main characters. At the end of the day they were still full on villains after all. Not even the sympathetic kind but the full blown villains kind with punching out secretaries and being quick to fight. I was not expecting the ending at all though so that definitely took me for a spin. The movie made some critical errors at key moments so without that this would have fared better. If you really want to check out a big Noir title then you should watch this one but the genre is already stuffed with plenty of good films. So you could do better with one of those.

Overall 4/10

The Shell Seekers Review

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It’s time for a film about the horrors of growing older. You slowly realize that your time in this world is coming to an end and people start showing their true colors. It’s tough because at this point you just have to either roll with it or go for confrontations even at the end. In a way the film comes off as being a little depressing and I also thought that the main character was too much of a pushover. I was hoping she would be more aggressive here.

The film starts off by introducing us to the main character who lets herself out of the hospital because she really doesn’t like the environment. She does not want to feel like an invalid and wants to enjoy the last years of her life as much as possible. Yes, she had a heart attack but otherwise she feels just fine. Unfortunately she quickly realizes that the family thinks of her as a burden so she heads off to be with the one relative who always had her back. Unfortunately the others are still hot on her trail because they want money!

Okay so the first thing here is that you don’t have to put someone in your will just because they are family. I would say having them there by default makes sense but if it’s clear that they only want the money and don’t care about you then that’s something that has to be on the table. At one point two of her kids try stealing some rare drawings behind her back and the old lady still doesn’t change anything. By the end of the film she still has these ungrateful kids in her will which is crazy. It’s just not a smart move. I give her some credit for giving away the paintings just to spite the kids but she could have taken things a bit farther.

None of the characters here seem to make the best decisions though. One of her daughters was in a happy enough relationship but decides to toss it all aside for a big job to advance her career. I suppose it all comes down to knowing where your priorities are. If the job is really her top priority then that’s fine but I definitely don’t want to hear any excuses about it later on. The grass is always greener which is why you should not be making any rash decisions without thinking them all the way through first. That will always lead to disaster.

Also back to the heroine again, at one point she confronts her aunt and gets absolutely bodied in their debate. She lets herself get cut off numerous times and is constantly on the back foot. I think it can be tough when you’re in the middle of a debate like that but you have to establish that you are correct right from the jump. That is the first step to getting everything to work out if you ask me.

The film isn’t overly interested in redeeming the other characters and that’s a good thing. It would have probably been more on the cheesy side if any of them had a sudden change of heart. It didn’t seem like these characters would be doing anything like that anyway. So with the whole movie showing how unlikable they all were, it did mean that this film would drag on a great deal. If the heroine was calling them out the whole time that would be one thing but with the way that the film plays out, it just ends up being annoying.

Even near the end the main heroine interrupts a fight to just put herself in the wrong again which made me roll my eyes. It’s good to be a peacemaker but sometimes you can absolutely take that way too far and this was definitely one of those times. The film could have stood to have been a little happier throughout as well. To me it felt more like a cautionary tale about being careful when you’re older. Knowing who your real friends are and weeding out the fake ones. I still think it was absolutely beyond the pale to be rummaging through her attic trying to sell stuff away. That was crazy.

There is also a romance plot going on between the gardener and one of the girls and it is pretty brutal stuff. So from the start he is very cold and not talkative. He doesn’t show any real interest in her and brushes off all attempts at communication. Well, she decides to go with him anyway and then almost immediately starts to get upset at how cold and quiet he is. The whole point is that he was like that from the start so I thought that was extremely unreasonable. It would be one thing if he suddenly changed drastically after talking to her but he didn’t change at all so that was really crazy. Definitely a really bad look for her if you ask me so I was already checked out of that plot early on.

This film didn’t even need a romance plot. When your main character is old, you should be focusing on the unique trials relating to that main plot. Squeezing in a romance plot just because you can is absolutely crazy stuff. I was certainly surprised by it at the very least but not in a good way. Okay most of this was negative so at least one positive I can say about the film is that the scenery was good. The movie just needed to be happier and offer a little more hope for the heroine. Maybe add in some more likable family members somewhere or just make her really tough so the whole time she is fighting them off and we get a moment of introspection like maybe she went wrong at some point. At this point we’re talking about a completely different movie though.

Overall, The Shell Seekers was not really my kind of film. It could be too slow at times and the characters were all way too annoying. There wasn’t really anyone to root for. The writing was okay but the romance was weak and so ultimately that really limited the film’s overall potential. There was just no coming back from all of that and so I would say to give this one a skip.

Overall 4/10

Plainsong Review

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This is a Hall of Fame movie? I dunno about that, this one definitely doesn’t soar to the classic Hallmark levels of hype. Ultimately the biggest problem here is the lack of a satisfying conclusion to the movie. The antagonists get away with too much without any real penalties. Yes, you can say that maybe there were some consequences down the road but I don’t know if you can really make a convincing argument for that. It seems to me like you would have to do some leaps in logic on your own when the film could have just done that.

The movie follows a teacher named Tom who is having to raise his two kids by himself due to his wife being ill. His wife has retreated more and more into herself to the point where she first moves away but lets the boys see her, and then decides to completely go abroad. She has really deserted them in their time of need and Tom is already busy so now it’s going to be tougher on him. Meanwhile two of the teachers seem to like him. The more reserved Maggie and another girl who is really desperate. Tom has to be careful with how he proceeds…and of course there are also random bullies running around.

This is mainly Tom’s plot though. We also have Victoria who ends up getting pregnant and the guy doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. Victoria wants to keep the baby but has nowhere to go but fortunately she is taken to two elderly brothers who are okay with her moving in. They have a hard time connecting with her due to the age gap but do their best to be accommodating. Will Victoria be grateful for the help in her darkest hour or will she make some more bad mistakes?

Both plots can be annoying the whole time. I suppose the first one to dissect is Tom’s plot. I give him credit for not bad mouthing his wife or anything throughout the movie. She makes a lot of mistakes and is making his job harder but Tom just puts his head down and gets to work. Where Tom is a bit shakier is with the romance. I mentioned the desperate lady earlier and so he puts himself in dangerous situations like driving her home from the bar. Nothing happens but the fact is that something absolutely could have. She could have made a move in the car or claimed that he made a move. When someone’s interested in you, particularly when it’s one way then you have to make sure to never be in one on one situations.

It also gave Maggie the wrong idea but that’s a little harder to predict since the timing had to be perfect for that misunderstanding to occur. Their romance definitely felt a bit rushed though and it’s all moving pretty fast since Tom is still technically married. In fact, that’s the excuse he used for the first woman but then he forgot about that with Maggie. No matter how rocky things are, as long as there is no divorce then you can’t move on. Even then if it’s too fast then it plays out like a rebound. The movie didn’t really need any romance either since it’s not really crucial to the plot.

It’s not a good look for Maggie either for the same reasons. Tom is off the market right now and it basically has to stay that way. She needs to focus more on the schoolwork instead of all that. Another thing going on at the school is that Tom is being pressured to let one kid pass his class despite failing every test. Tom doesn’t want to do that but he may lose his job if he goes against the administration. Then meanwhile the guy actually goes and attacks his two kids. Yeah the two kids look really dumb in leaving home by themselves but you should still reasonably expect that they won’t be attacked by their fellow inhabitants.

The fact that nobody among the teens broke off the whole event was definitely disappointing. Likewise with Tom getting rocked by the bully’s father as well. No serious charges entered the mix or anything by the end of the film. These guys were literally attacking children and left them in the middle of a deserted area and nothing happened. The villains absolutely got away with wayyyyyyy too much by the end of that. It was definitely crazy.

Then with the Victoria plot, she looked really bad. It’s clear from the start that she was hanging out with the wrong crowd and naturally getting pregnant at such a young age is a bad look as well when it’s a voluntary action. You shouldn’t be engaging in acts that could leave you pregnant at such an age and it’s clear that the guy wasn’t ready for this. Then after being given a nice home, she leaves with the guy just to be reminded that he’s a total jerk all over again? It’s as if she had short term memory loss and in a lot of ways that has to be the most annoying part of this whole situation.

You can’t keep falling for the “Grass is always greener” approach. The two old men were nice enough to welcome her in once, to be honest if I was them there wouldn’t be a second chance after that. Kudos to them for being accepting but when you’re that old it’s not good to be having any real stress like that. She really just left without a word and scared them pretty badly. It’s a reminder to them that she would leave at the first sign of a better opportunity.

In a nutshell, the issues this film had were all boiled down to a weak character cast. The characters were mainly not likable and made the worst possible decisions. I think the old men would have made a much more interesting film at this point. The drama within the town just shows how corrupt everyone could be and I still can’t get over the teen getting away with punching a teacher and terrorizing two little kids. I’d want to be out of that town so fast if that kind of thing can just be overlooked.

Overall, Plainsong goes hard on the emotional beats but forgets to really have a resolution to them. When you just have sad plots over and over, it ends up making things too lopsided for any kind of ending to fix. I wouldn’t really be able to recommend this title because it’s more of a downer than anything else. You’ll want to watch a more traditional Hallmark film over this one.

Overall 4/10