Category Archives: 7 Star Movies

The Man From Utah Review

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It’s time for a film where John Wayne plays a character named…John? Yeah you already know this is going to be a good one. It’s a very old film since it’s from the 30s but it still does have a full soundtrack and everything so that was nice. The film does feel its age but it still holds up as a solid experience. It is incredibly short though so things have to move quickly but in a way that may be a good thing. I think the novelty could have worn off if this was too long.

The film starts off with John singing and having a good ole time as he dashes through the wild west. This is clearly a man on a mission but then he bumps into a bunch of bank robbers. He holds his own against them but they run off and John nearly gets framed for being one of them. Fortunately, John gets away but the Marshall catches up to him and enlists the guy’s help. See there is going to be a big contest in a few days and these crooks have been cheating to win a bunch of them. If John enters, they will try taking him down as well and then the Marshall will have caught them in the act. John agrees to help.

Now I do have to admit that the whole thing does make the previous heroes look sloppy since they didn’t notice the villains fiddling with the equipment all the time. These guys don’t exactly seem like top professionals or anything like that after all. They’re also not the smartest crooks in the bunch as they desert the girl member of the group right before the heist. Seems like an easy way to get yourself double crossed right? They should have brought her along or made up some lie on why she would be joining them later on. Just straight up ditching her is absolutely the worst decision you could make there. It makes them look real bad there.

Granted they still put up a fight at the end and overwhelm the bank worker. It would have been nice if they could have been stopped a bit sooner but at the end of the day the heroes still took care of business. John could have been one of the ultimate sheriffs but instead he decided to go for the romantic life. This won’t surprise you but the romance here is very rushed. When a film is only around an hour or so that is very likely though.

The actual competition is okay but all of them involve animals which is not a pastime I can really support. Having to tie up bulls or stay on horses that don’t want you there just feels mean spirited. If the animal is not having fun then I’m not either. I can appreciate that it is difficult to pull off these challenges and yet I feel like it just should not be a thing. I would have had more fun with it being able lassoing different objects or something like that.

This is the main chunk of the film though as it builds up to the villains getting ready to cheat. The Marshall was a fun character for his limited screentime though. You actually feel bad for him and the town when John says that he just wants to settle down now. He was the best shooter that they had and so it was crazy to lose a mega asset like that. No sirrrrrrr, but I imagine off screen he would probably get back into the action at some point. The Wild West has a way of dealing you back into the fold.

Interestingly the film seemed to have a hard time having music on during any dialogue scenes. So when the characters are running with the horses it can get eerily quiet and that’s how you know they’re about to start talking. Then you have some chase scenes where some fun music plays so you know there won’t be dialogue for a while. I’m guessing there is probably some kind of really old technical reason for why this is the case. Maybe you could not mix the different audio tracks together at once or something like that. It makes for a pretty interesting gimmick though.

Again it comes down to that novelty factor. It was fun while watching this movie but I probably would not want it to be a regular thing. The shooting and everything was fun enough though. The film had good action and a fun story. It almost goes without saying that the writing and the script were good as well. These old films rarely ever missed on that angle. I would say the movie did as much as it could within the runtime.

Overall, The Man From Utah is sort of like an abridged wild west film. It goes by really quickly and its got all of the usual elements you would expect to see from a Wild West but doesn’t take too long with them. It basically has to jump from story beat to story beat with impressive speed. As a result it is easy to keep your attention though and I did enjoy John as the main character. Most of the others don’t get a whole lot of screentime though. If you’re looking for a retro film then this one is as good as any to check out. Sometimes you just want to watch a peaceful film like this where there is a little danger but you know you’re on your way to a happy ending.

Overall 7/10

The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009) Review

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The original Pelham film was definitely a solid one and I had pretty good hopes for the remake as well. The story has a strong foundation after all so I don’t see any reason why the remake would be any different. You’ll be pretty engaged the whole time with what’s going on and while the original would still take the win, this one can definitely hold its own. The film has to succeed in spite of the technical aspects that threaten to hold it back though.

The film starts with Ryder and a bunch of other terrorists running into a train and taking it over. These guys are professionals and trap it in the middle of a tunnel. It will be difficult for anybody to get in there and do much of anything now. Their demands are simple, they want 10 million dollars and they want it in 1 hour. The MTA employee who gets the call is Garber and so you can say that he’s really drawn the short straw here. He’s been dealing with a lot himself as he was demoted after being accused of taking a bribe. Garber declares that he is innocent but the investigation is still ongoing. If anybody dies during this event, it won’t exactly help his case.

There is a lot of tension the whole time since the majority of the film is really about the conversation happening over the phone. Garber is trying to prevent anyone from dying but of course he ultimately doesn’t have much control over that. He is dealing with somebody who is absolutely crazy and so you can never tell exactly how such an encounter will go. There is a professional hostage guy here to help out but even for him this is ultimately a bunch of guesses based on prior experience. The same tactics don’t always work.

Over the course of the film the villain begins to feel a connection with Garber as two men who were betrayed by the system although he never actually gets through to Garber to see it that way. Garber won’t let himself be pulled into the lies and the only time I would say he really faltered was when he allowed Ryder to dictate the terms and make him confess to a crime. I was originally thinking Garber would just fake it in order to appease the guy but I guess in the end he just wasn’t very innocent here. That part was too bad since it would have been nice if he actually did have everything together and didn’t make such a big mistake. Everyone is entitled to make mistakes of course but it would have been a good way for Garber to break away from the narrative that he was similar to Ryder in any way.

Regardless since it’s under duress I assume the confession couldn’t be used for much. Garber definitely takes a lot of real chances during the negotiations and of course it is a lot easier to backseat drive than to be in the situation. Ultimately I think you can never go anywhere with terrorists and you have to try going out fighting. Take out the gun and at least nail one or two of them. Inside of the train, one guy ultimately can’t think of a plan and just tells the villains to shoot him. They oblige and it was nice that he took the bullet for another passenger but if you’re going to die anyway, I say you should at least make a play for the gun.

Your odds are slim but at least they’re not 0 like when you give up. The instant you give up is when it is all actually over. You have to prolong that period for as long as you can. I would also bring up the numbers advantage but realistically you can’t count on any of the passengers. Odds are that they will fold or back out when the going gets tough. So if you make a move, it’s with the understanding that you really could die there. Not an easy thing to have to contend with.

As for the villain himself, Ryder was definitely real unhinged. The guy was smart enough to have a big plan and everything but it was definitely clear that he wasn’t afraid to die either. He was taking a big swing and absolutely did not want to live through any outcome other than victory. So he really made sure that winning or dying were his only two options. Most of his speeches ultimately come down to the crazed ramblings of your average villain but they’re still entertaining enough. The film did a good job of showing just how unhinged the terrorists can be.

The Mayor also has a fun role here. He’s definitely not the nicest guy but he has quite a bit of backbone in this version and can back up his tough talk. The guy has a lot of unhappy constituents but he does try to help in the end. Additionally I appreciated that he had Garber’s back in the end. It seems like otherwise everyone was going to railroad him even after helping out during the adventure which would have been annoying considering just how many risks he took by this point. It would have been such a bad look for everyone.

I will say that part of the ending was a bit contrived though. The film really wanted to finish off on a personal note but it relies on plot armor with the cops not making any kind of move. Realistically I would have expected either Garber or both him and the villain to have been shot. It’s rare to see the cops just standing around while actual gunfire goes out. I get the overall message but they could have implemented it better.

The only particularly weak part of the film is the soundtrack and directing though. The opening song is so bad that you’re just rolling your eyes the whole time. Then for the directing, there is way too much slow mo to the point where you think your TV is starting to lag. Then you have the zoom ins when people talk as if this is a comedy show. The film is doing a whole lot but none of it really services the film. I would have removed all the freeze frames, all the slow mo, and definitely had less camera shaking during the event. These things just felt like elaborate distractions and they did not pay off.

Overall, This was a pretty fun movie. It keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time and the writing was really solid. In the ending I would have liked Garber to have gone home with a whole gallon of milk but you can’t have everything. It takes a very different approach from the original film in different ways and that does help to keep things fresh. It means that you have a good reason to watch both versions of the film since they won’t be ultra similar to each other. As long as they can keep it fresh, I’ll welcome more versions of the story.

Overall 7/10

McQ Review

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It’s time for one of those thrillers that doesn’t always make a ton of sense and people act out of character for no real reason but at the end of the day we accept this for the plot. I wouldn’t put it in the same conversation as any of the truly great thrillers but at the end of the day it’s not bad. It will keep you entertained on just how over the top it can be the whole time. McQ definitely does whatever he feels like.

The movie starts off with a cop looking corrupt and there are some shootings and handling of mysterious packages. Shortly afterwards the final cop is murdered and then we’re introduced to McQ. McQ is one of the most intense detectives out there but as a result he doesn’t play well with others. He’s an absolute solo act and I can tell you this right off the bat, you don’t want to get in his way. His partner was one of the guys who got bumped off so he wants to quickly find out what happened. He will have to get through a whole conspiracy though.

Whether you like the film or not will probably depend in large part on how much you like McQ. The guy always has a bit of an odd look on his face although I would describe it as he looks like he’s going to cry as opposed to it being a tough guy look. It’s pretty true to form with how often he gets rocked in the movie though. He walks into every possible trap and is on the back foot almost the whole time. I think he’s meant to be portrayed as an absolute powerhouse but it just didn’t come across that way for me. He had me shaking his head when he walked in on the villains and they made him drop the gun. Which time? Oh that’s tough since it happens more than once…

I do appreciate that he just beats up the villains whenever he wants but of course that makes it easy for him to be demoted as well. Then once he’s off the cops it is even harder to gather evidence…or is it? He basically has free reign to all of the police facilities and equipment anyway since nobody seems to care that he quit. He’s pals with everybody so they just laugh and give him experimental new guns. In some ways I might even say that this is super realistic but still I think it was maybe played up just a litttttttle bit more than I would think it should.

It’s at the point where they may as well have had him working for the cops the whole time because it didn’t actually impact the plot pretty much at all. He’s basically still a cop the whole time although where things get crazy is near the end as the cops are hunting him with the dog and are definitely going to injure him badly before he escapes. Makes the ending a little more interesting hehe. Again this is not a film that you are really watching for the logic so you don’t want to pay too much attention to any of that. Just remind yourself that this is just how things go when McQ is on the case.

I think the real low point for him is when he goes to get intel from one of the girls who has been on the scene for a while. You might be expecting a James Bond type moment where he woos her into revealing the info and that would be a bad enough scene but it actually gets worse for him. She basically says that she won’t say anything unless he has a one night stand with her and the guy has no rebuttal so he just goes ahead and does it. The guy has absolutely no main character energy to be letting himself get pulled into something like that. It’s such a sad scene for him and he needed to find another way. I mean it’s not like he has too many morals since he brought her some drugs to bribe her but I was still expecting a little better.

Yeah McQ is pretty shady. At least he is a good shot like when he takes someone down at the beginning of the film from a long distance. The film just can’t decide if he’s this ultra powerful vigilante or someone who is completely out of his depth. I’m inclined to pick the latter. Meanwhile his supervisor is absolutely unhinged the whole time. He tries to say that he is McQ’s friend but the actions would have you believing otherwise. He is constantly yelling and doing his best to destroy McQ while also yelling “I told you so”s throughout the movie.

In the climax we have a pretty interesting shootout but McQ forgets that he has the mega cluster gun for part of this battle. He should have used that as the cars were driving in and it would have easily murdered the driver both times. Instead he plays it safe so the climax takes a bit longer. In true thriller style we get a whole bunch of twists near the end. One of them feels like it was spoiled during the intro scene tbh but the characters don’t act like it’s a big shock anyway so maybe that’s the point.

All in all, the story itself is interesting but I dare say that the film’s leaps in logic are even more interesting. Yes, you want to see what’s going to happen but you’re more curious about what McQ is going to do next. Is he going to buy a gun while he is forbidden from owning one by the cops? Will he try playing vigilante as he chases a laundry truck down the street only to pick the wrong one? Will he even go as far as to beat someone up in the bathroom? McQ is always one step ahead of the movie audience and in a way that’s admirable. I feel like the film is 2 degrees short of going into comedy mode at times with how seriously the film portrays itself as.

Overall, I had a good amount of fun with the film. I feel like it’s not always in the way that the film had planned but hey it works for me. The film balances the seriousness of the case with a good amount of light hearted moments as well. The over the top cheesy ending is really the cherry on top here. I would recommend checking this movie out. It’s not great but as a random stand alone film it actually manages to be rather memorable. Whether you keep up with the film or not, you will certainly be entertained. Just try to make it past the unbearable romance scenes which do drag quite a bit.

Overall 7/10

Hoosiers Review

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It’s time for one of those emotional sport titles. Hoosiers does a good job of including a lot of the actual sports action. Sometimes these films focus more on the off the field drama but deep down we are here for the sports so it makes sense to really show that off. This movie is pretty well done all around with the only real weakness being the romance. That part definitely didn’t seem to be needed and was a bit on the rushed side but that’s how it goes sometimes.

The movie starts with a guy named Norman walking into a small town. He is here to coach the Basketball team and everyone is a bit wary of the guy. They don’t take kindly to new faces and this team has been pretty bad for a long time. It’s going to be hard to change everyone’s minds unless Norman can pull together a really big win streak. It’ll be tough though since the team’s best player Jimmy doesn’t play Basketball anymore and a fellow teacher Myra in insistent about leaving him alone. Can Norman defy the odds?

Okay so the town does look pretty bad here with how they are totally against Norman the whole time. It’s not like their team was already amazing or something. In the films where you have a new coach coming in to a championship then it’s a bit more understandable. In this case it’s not like they could get much worse so why give him such a hard time? Additionally they didn’t even have much of a plan so it would have just resulted in more losses. You half want Norman to just walk out of there since the town was being so resistant.

Props to Norman for sticking it out though. He’s not a perfect coach or anything either. The guy is stubborn to a fault and wants to make the team respect him even if it means losing a few games. And he’s not bluffing about that last part either so even when the team is losing because of his strategies, he will have them press on. At one point this even means fielding an incomplete team. If you let someone get away with breaking the rules then everyone will, so he had to make some really tough choices there.

As for the romance, well Myra can’t stand Norman initially. Right from the start she attacks him for his age and then never lets up for the rest of the movie. Due in part to that and how much older he looked than her, I was expecting a father type relationship here. She would gradually respect him and then things would work out from there. Instead that didn’t even come close to being the case and the inevitable romantic ending just didn’t make sense here. The tone shift happens way too quickly for it to be believable so this would have been better in a trilogy or something like that.

Meanwhile for Myra, I appreciate her looking out for Jimmy but it does feel like she starts several fights for no reason. She basically went in assuming that Norman would be a bad guy and never even let the guy try to make a case for himself. It’s good that she ended up changing her tune later on but it does make her appear unreasonable right from the jump. As for Jimmy, he was a good character all the way through. He made his own choices throughout the film and came in clutch when it counted.

One character who did not step up quick enough was Shooter. He starts out as being an unreliable drunk and even as he improves, he also relapses at one point. It was definitely a disappointing outcome for him since I was hoping that he would really improve. You can’t relapse on the main stage and embarrass everybody. It’s true that Norman threw him into too big of a situation right away but at the same time, he still should have been able to come out on top there. Particularly with the stakes being as high as they were.

The film is at its best when it is focused on the sports and less on the drama though. I enjoyed seeing the characters play ball as we see the various teams go at it. The practice drills were also solid and Norman’s experience definitely came through. While his on the field skills may have been lacking at times like with how easily he would be thrown out of the game but the team was definitely in way better shape than they were before he started.

It’s hard to say how good Norman was as a general teacher because surprisingly they didn’t really show that at all. It is mentioned how he has to teach two subjects as part of the contract but I guess that wasn’t seen as a big deal to the core story. It could have been an interesting subplot but it was not needed so I’m cool with it being left to the side. I imagine that any further plots could end up getting in the way of the sport itself and that would not be a good bargain. At the end of the day the Basketball has to be enough to really win the day.

Overall, Hoosiers is a pretty inspirational story about how anyone can rise to the top with a good work ethic. It can be a bit cheesy about how they start wrecking everybody and the next best team is naturally playing dirty. It would make sense to have the other best team just also be a well oiled machine with talented players but you get the message they are going for. If you enjoy Basketball or just like a good story then you will probably enjoy this movie. It’s well executed and while the story itself may be pretty straight forward, you don’t really mind that since it keeps you entertained.

Overall 7/10

Over the Top Review

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It’s time for a film that actually gives a whole lot of screentime to an arm wrestling tournament. It’s definitely a pretty unique spin on things because there really aren’t very many films about that at all. I’ve never been interested in the sport myself. It looks way too painful and so many things can go wrong. Still, I know people tend to enjoy it and the film does a good job of presenting it as something exciting. In the end it’s a fun movie even with a really annoying kid.

The film starts off by introducing us to Hawk who is a young kid that has been doing well for himself in a private military school. He is shocked and dismayed when his father comes in to pick him up. Lincoln has been out of the picture for 10 years so this is all sudden but his mother really wants them to find a way to bond. She is super sick and so having a father will be good for Hawk. Hawk is determined not to get close to Lincoln and spend the whole trip in silence but what he doesn’t know is that Lincoln is entering the world championships for Arm Wrestling. Lincoln is really trying to win big and make his family proud but he will have to get past his father in law, Jason. Jason doesn’t approve of Lincoln and intends to do whatever is necessary to push him away.

Now you do sympathize with Jason to a rather large degree. It can’t be ignored that Lincoln straight up abandoned his family for 10 years. It’s not like it was one year or something, 10 years is absolutely crazy. The film never gives us much of a solid reason on why he left. It seems like he just couldn’t take the heat and so without any kind of justification (Which would be tough to get in the first place) there isn’t really a reason to root for him here. It’s great that he wants to make amends, but that should not be forced upon Hawk.

Lincoln is the main character so we see things from a very sympathetic viewpoint to him but even so, it makes sense why other characters would oppose him. His wife giving her blessing is nice but since she was basically on her death bed, Jason has a point that she might not have been in her right mind. The film shows that Jason is way too crazy with how he hires actual hoodlums to beat up Lincoln and kidnap Hawk so you’re not rooting for him but the movie had to make him super extreme because otherwise you may have found that he actually did have a good point.

The movie really needed to give us a better reason for why Lincoln was gone for so long. In the present he is fun with how he beats up the enemies and saves the day. He seems like a really good guy, you just can’t ignore the history. With all that said, I still don’t like Hawk. He looks unreasonable and annoying right from the jump. He’s really full of himself and even puts himself in mortal danger like when he ran across the highway. Hawks is very emotional and keeps on switching his feelings every few minutes. He seems like the kind of kid who doesn’t really own up to the situation and is always ready to pass on the blame. Definitely not a good thing to do in any context. I was expecting better out of him, even if just by a little bit.

Yes he gets his big moment by the end but it’s way too late. He was just way too emotional. Fortunately the climax is really more focused on Lincoln fighting off all the big opponents. The movie probably made the final boss a little too powerful though to the point where it is completely unbelievable that Lincoln is able to take him on. Not only is this guy way stronger but he barely struggled throughout the tournament. He’s at near peak condition while Lincoln already needed ice packs and rehab from the earlier matches. He really should have gotten absolutely crushed here.

Ah well, it’s always fun to see the hero win. This movie is generally a pretty light hearted film with quick pacing. It may not always be the most grounded but you will be having a good time as you watch it. I can’t really fault the movie for that. Having a good time should always be the main priority after all and this film never really forgets that. The ending is satisfying and things just work out. I also appreciated how big in scale and presentation the tournament felt. We had intros for the various characters, announcers hyping them up, etc. It felt like a true event and I don’t see how you can take arm wrestling much further than what this film did with it.

They even did have the obligatory arm break during one of the rounds which is absolutely why I would not engage with the sport. It seems to me that everyone who engages in the sport long enough breaks their arm at least once. It’s like Skiing where everybody says you break your leg at least once. Once is already too much for me. I know every sport carries a degree of risk but at least in most of them you can mitigate it. Once the other guy has your arm, I don’t know how you can fight it if they really want to break your arm or there is a big power gap. Too risky for me.

Overall, How much you enjoy this film will all come down to how much you can tolerate the kid. If you can’t handle how annoying and cringy he is the whole time then the movie may falter for you. If you can get past that hen it is a good film. It’s entertaining with a lot of good competitive energy the whole time. The villain and even the kid both have valid points so the movie makes sure to undercut them as necessary to ensure that you can still root for Lincoln. At the end of the day you want a main character you can root for after all and in the end this did the trick. It’s not amazing but it is pretty good and that was enough for me.

Overall 7/10

John Q Review

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It’s time for a pretty intense film about a guy who is given the run around by a hospital until he finally snaps. You may be getting some Luigi flashbacks around this point although the circumstances are still different. It’s a pretty good movie with a lot of tension and a pretty intriguing plot. Additionally John really tried every legal method that he could until he was eventually forced t take drastic measures. With a film like this you naturally aren’t rooting for the lead to go and shoot everyone but you definitely get how he came to this point. After a while there really aren’t any other choices to be made.

The movie starts by introducing us to John who is rather down on his luck right now. The hours at the factory he works at have been shrinking in each pay period and it is getting hard to provide for his wife and son. The tax collectors have even taken away his car. John says he will fix all of this but it’s an old tune at this point and his wife isn’t sure about that. Well, one day the kid suddenly faints while on the baseball field and it tuns out that he is in critical condition. He will need a heart transplant but it turns out that John’s insurance changed classes recently and so they don’t cover it. Meanwhile the hospital won’t even add him to the chart as a possible donor until John coughs up thousands and thousands of dollars. So John decides to take drastic action and takes over the emergency room by force with his gun. Either his son gets the proper treatment or none of them are walking out of that room.

It’s definitely a drastic situation and I’d say the most intense thing about it is how possible the whole thing is. Obtaining a gun doesn’t seem like an impossible feat for someone who is properly motivate and most locations just aren’t equipped to handle someone with a gun. Now it may not happen as smoothly as it did in this film but someone could definitely take over for a while like in this film. It’s all about what happens from there. Clearly the gunman won’t escape but it’s more about the damage he could do in the meantime. You don’t want to listen to his demands since it could inspire copycat killers but at the same time you can’t just sacrifice all of the hostages in there. It puts the cops in a tough spot.

The main focus here is really on the determination John has in making sure that his kid is okay. Throughout the movie there are a lot of people telling him to give it up and just accept the death but John won’t take no for an answer. It’s not like he is a pro at this either so he does make his share of mistakes but he is trying to keep the situation contained the whole time. You definitely have to give him a lot of credit there. Things easily could have gone real sideways real fast there. Particularly when it comes to money you can definitely get biter about how things are set up. John really tried his best and worked a really hard job but at the end of the day it wasn’t enough.

Meanwhile it’s not quite the best portrayal for the hospital but realistic. They hear countless stories all the time about sick people who can’t pay and have their lives at stake. it does make sense that they can’t take every case or they would be out of business. The main contact lady is particularly antagonistic the whole time with her delivery but what she said was mainly correct. You either have the money or you don’t and if the insurance doesn’t cover the operation then that’s really the end of the story. Changing the laws is the only way to really stop that, otherwise their hands are tied. It’s certainly not the most satisfying answer but at the end of the day that really is the response to this situation.

Frank does the negotiating for the police here at least when he isn’t being compromised by the chief of police. They definitely clash heads quite a bit in this film with their different approaches. Frank is trying to de escalate and see what he can do while the Chief wants a quick end to this. Both plans have their merits. The chief comes across as a jerk the whole time but he did seem to have more of an endgame to his plan. It may have failed but I didn’t have any qualms with taking the shot. The instant John took hostages, he was not just an “innocent man” the way the reports were describing him. Taking him out using lethal means was absolutely a valid plan and I don’t even think it’s a particularly controversial one. Yes the optics don’t look good but the #1 objective is to save the hostages.

Meanwhile John’s wife does good in not selling him out or falling for any traps. She was on his side the whole time and didn’t waiver. I also appreciated that while they had some fights throughout the movie, it never became a big deal or tore them apart. They stayed strong under stress and kept on pressing. They worked as a good team when trying out all available options. It may not have worked but they did make all possible attempts which is good.

While the film is fairly tame, I should note that there are some medical procedures in the film. As a result you do see a live heart for example which is a bit on the intense side. So you’ll want to keep that in mind but otherwise the worst thing that happens is somebody getting roughed up a bit. Both times the guy getting beat up definitely took actions that led up to that point as well. You want to be real careful who you make upset in a situation like this.

If the film has any issues, it can be that it’s a little heavy handed with how antagonistic it makes everyone who opposes John. For example you have the cops laughing it up as they plan to murder him, the chiefs not taking things seriously, the main hospital director smirking as she declines coverage, etc. Almost everybody in the film comes across as a jerk. Then you have the nicer ones but for example the young doctor in training has a very jaded view on the whole hospital business so he talks about how they plan to cheat people out of coverage, etc. It’s all a grand, sinister plan to keep people sick and dying. It’s definitely a bold accusation although we do know that those insurance companies can get really shady.

Overall, One of the big morals here is to make sure you don’t drive while in a rush. If you have to get somewhere quickly, allow yourself to be late instead of trying to speed during a curve. It’s just not worth it, likewise with running through a yellow light. Sometimes you just need to hold the massive L because at least you’ll keep your life. The movie itself is definitely a solid one. You’ve got a sad situation and a father doing his best to make the most of it. There are a lot of fun philosophical and ethical questions to ask about the situation as well. It’s the kind of film that works well with debate as there are a lot of different positions you could take here. The film is fairly long so it gets to spend a lot of time on the story without rushing things. I’d definitely recommend it.

Overall 7/10

The Shaggy Dog (1959) Review

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It’s time for a retro dog film with a good amount of fun cheer to it. The Shaggy Dog is one of those titles that moves at a quick pace and delivers on a fun premise. It even randomly throws in a big climax with high stakes and I hadn’t been expecting that. It’s a very retro experience that knows how to have a good time even if the cast themselves are a bit on the weaker side. Lets just say there aren’t a lot of likable characters here.

The movie starts off with Wilby messing up on another one of his inventions. He’s a kid genius but it does take him a lot of trial and error to get where he wants to go and often his father, Wilson has to clean up after him. Wilson is a nice guy overall except that he can’t stand dogs and even has a PTSD type allergy to them. He intends to shoot them all if they ever get into his house. Well one day they get a rich next door neighbor named Francesca who has a big dog and now this could be trouble. Wilby and his friend Buzz both like her and after a fateful trip to the museum, Wilby ends up with an amulet that turns him into a copy of her dog. How will he end this curse?

The way the magic works is also a little unique here. Ordinarily you would expect the human and dog to change places or something but that’s actually not what happens here. Instead the dog just vanishes from existence temporarily while Wilby slowly transforms into a lookalike. The transformation lasts a while until he turns back but it is difficult to predict when this will happen and for how long. So it’s definitely inconvenient for Wilby and even dangerous since of course Wilson will be shooting on sight.

Of course as a dog, most people don’t pay attention to Wilby which gives him a chance to hear some villainous secrets. So I enjoyed the whole gimmick here as the scenes were pretty fun. Wilby really got to show just how helpful it can be to turn into a dog. I do think he could have done a much better job of convincing everyone that he was actually Wilby though since the film didn’t really place any limitations on him. Wilby can still walk around and talk in human language so automatically you figure it shouldn’t be too hard. Wilby doesn’t try this much until the very end though.

As a character Wilby is okay but definitely a bit of a pushover. He gets taken advantage of by Buzz and is also easy to trick. The museum trip didn’t go well because he let his guard down too quickly and then even in the climax he’s put in the same boat as Buzz instead of being one step ahead. I don’t see the dynamic ever getting a whole lot better for him. Wilby needs to just focus on his inventions and hopefully make a real game changer at some point.

Meanwhile for Buzz, the guy is no real friend. He is always quick to blame Wilby when the lead isn’t around and quickly goes from girl to girl. Buzz is certainly not a serious character and so you really aren’t rooting for the guy. You hope that the girls will know better around him but until they figure out what’s up, it was up to Wilby to mess up the guy’s plans while in his disguise as a dog.

As for Wilson, he was a little too extreme in how he was actually shooting at the dog. Even ignoring the body swap, that means he was willingly shooting at his neighbor’s dog just for getting into the house. It’s just such an extreme response and makes him look really bad. Throughout the film Wilson is always proving himself to be the kind of guy who jumps to conclusions and then at the end he is basically just basking in the glory of something that he only played a small part in.

It all works well enough for some laughs but it doesn’t make the character super likable. Even Francesca looks pretty bad as she is quick to be tricked by Buzz and then even starts to go after Wilby just to make another girl jealous. The fact that she gave away her dog in the end was also absolutely crazy after everything he did for her. A really bizarre way for the film to end if you ask me.

Still, the important thing is that the film is fun like I said. The writing is on point with a really solid script all the way through. The retro writing style really works well for this movie and the pacing is good. I may not say that it’s laugh out loud levels of being funny but it didn’t really have any issues either. The movie never drags and it has plenty of replay value. I also enjoyed the sub plot with the one cop who was going crazy after seeing the dog so many times and then how the government shut down Wilson on suspicion of being a traitor. That was a pretty fun battle even if Wilby’s younger brother sold the dad out there.

Overall, The Shaggy Dog is a pretty good movie. I like the concept of turning into a dog as there are a lot of fun gags you can do with that. Clearly the industry thought so too since this wouldn’t be the last Shaggy Dog film. This may not be the kind of film that you walk away from every year to point out how awesome it was but it is something you could watch at any time. The intense climax also helps with the replay value. I’ll be curious to see if the newer films can really match this one and if they can’t, hopefully they will at least be close.

Overall 7/10

Teenagers from Outer Space Review

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It’s time for a film about an alien invasion and it’s definitely treated as a fairly casual affair. Humanity was absolutely not ready for these alien invaders, not that they usually are. It’s a movie that has aged well and provides good entertainment the whole time. The pacing is not bad and we largely avoid the big romance thanks to the film’s ending. All in all I don’t have many issues with this film as it turned up when it counted.

The movie starts with a few aliens landing on the planet Earth. They all look like humans but they are certainly not the same species. The most ruthless member of the group is Thor who wants to use this planet as a breeding ground for their giant monsters. Derek protests as soon as he sees that there are intelligent life on the planet and so he runs into town to warn people. Thor lets him escape only because it turns out that Derek is the son of their high leader. So they need to take him alive. Will Derek be able to spread the message with the planet or is he already too late?

The tough part for Derek here is the fact that he doesn’t really know anything about the planet. So he’s having to learn a whole lot of things on the fly. He meets a girl named Betty and her kind Grandpa but it’s hard to convince them of the urgency of his mission. This changes when Thor shows up and begins blasting. His disintegration ray can destroy anything that it hits. Derek will have to find a way to disarm him and fast before the whole town is obliterated.

The death count in this film can be surprisingly large at times. There are a whole lot of deaths left and right here Thor basically gets to do whatever he wants to the place. It takes a long time to bring him down and even then the heroes fumble the bag by not taking his weapon or anything like that. Thor lasts way longer than he should because the heroes insist on using kid gloves with him. This is a matter of life or death, you really need to take him out. At one point he is totally unconscious after being shot a few times and nobody capitalizes on this. Very sloppy behavior without a doubt.

Thor does make for a decent villain the whole time though. He’s very confident in himself and is always pressing forward. The guy comes off as being insane right from the jump so you’re not sure how he got such a high ranking position but the possibilities around it are so endless that there isn’t much point in really pondering it. That’s just how this alien group goes. The climax of the film gets quite explosive and definitely doesn’t leave many loose ends for a sequel. Unfortunately this also means that the giant monster himself doesn’t get to appear or do much at all throughout the film. I was looking forward to seeing more of him since the design was really hype. It had a lot of potential but ultimately the budget just wasn’t there to support the film and that is really a shame. Having a giant monster stepping on all of the buildings would have definitely raised the danger level by quite a bit.

We at least know that it was pretty strong though. If not for the pesky disintegrator ray then it might have really had a shot. I regret to inform you that a dog does die in the film though. Early on the villains use the ray on the dog Sparky which was definitely a big mistake. Fortunately the whole scene is pretty fast and you instantly turn to bones which is better than most methods of death. Still unfortunately but that’s the reason why the film didn’t immediately get a negative score or anything like that. It could have definitely been curtains otherwise.

I have to give Betty’s grandpa some respect in this film as well. At first I figured he wouldn’t be doing much of anything here as the guy was really showing his age but in the end he stayed strong. He wouldn’t say where Betty and the others were even under threat of death. He kept on riding around with the crew the whole time and never gave up. That’s the kind of determination you like to see here. He had a lot of energy and in general all of the townsfolk were pretty good. None of them were just going to turn tail and run or give up without a fight. This is the true meaning of unity.

As expected the writing is pretty good here. The script is solid and the pacing is really good. The movie never drags on and you can feel the danger lurking around every corner. At most the only weak part would be when Derek first arrives in town and doesn’t know that the other aliens stuck around. So he doesn’t have a lot of urgency as he rents a room and puts of telling Betty about the dog. The film also narrowly avoided the love triangle since it was looking dicey with Betty and the reporter plus Derek for a while there. That could have docked some points but the characters made the logical move here this time by focusing on the end of the world threat and not getting side tracked. That was a welcome surprise.

Now this is a very old film so even as an alien invasion film you should not be thinking about this in terms of a lot of explosions or anything like that. This is a slow burner through and through and you can almost think of it like a slasher aimed at kids. You have the seemingly invincible villain who slowly approaches each town goer as he obliterates them from existence. He takes no hostages and has absolutely no mercy. The guy just keeps on going and going with no plans to stop. It’s the part of the film that leaves you feeling a bit sad because none of those characters expected that they would die today.

Overall, Teenagers from Outer Space may be very different than what you would have expected based on the title but it’s a pretty good film. I wouldn’t say it has any obvious weaknesses at all. I had a good time with it and the film even has a decent sense of humor at times. If you like these retro films then I would say to definitely check this one out. It’s really got every classic B creature element in here along with the creature itself even if that’s more of an afterthought.

Overall 7/10

Timecop Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a time travel title and those always tend to be pretty good. It’s a concept that brings a lot of interesting ideas with it and this one is no exception. My favorite time travel system is where interacting with the past creates a new timeline rather than immediately changing the future but they all have their merits. This one is a good action title that ends up being satisfying in the end.

The movie starts off with someone at the government revealing that time travel has been discovered. He now wants a federal agency to monitor it and senator Aaron agrees with this. So the bureau is created and Max joins after his wife was blown up in a home invasion. He is not allowed to go back in time and save her because of ethics and butterfly effects even though it happened rather recently. That said, many people are changing time and this is becoming a big deal so Max brings those people to justice. There seems to be a ringleader at the top of this though and Max needs to find out who it is immediately.

Naturally you probably know what I’m going to say here. Max should go ahead and save his wife immediately. There are several reasons for this. The first and most important reason is that the instant we have time travel, there is no longer any guarantee on what the correct timeline is. There’s no way to tell if someone has already gone to the past and changed things. Perhaps a butterfly effect happened a while back and that’s why his wife died. So I would say Max is absolutely obligated to save her life. That’s absolutely how this should work.

The second reason ties in which is that people don’t remember the previous timeline anyway. That’s also why it is so dangerous because everyone’s memories are automatically reset so they think this is how things always were. So when Max saved his wife then that’ll just be how it always was. No harm no foul. Some might push back against this but that’s always been my frame of mind for these things. When time travel is on the table then anything goes.

Max is a solid main character though. He’s good at his job and a solid fighter all around. He takes down quite a few enemies over the course of the movie. He can get a little sloppy though like the way he was taken out by the villains at the beginning of the movie. You’d just think that he would be more on guard due to his line of work. Even once he has the element of surprise near the end it’s a little closer than you’d figure it should be. I won’t fault him for the way the tables turn during the earlier climax since there are only so many contingency plans you can have when a traitor is involved.

The main villain Aaron is decent. He’s not anything to write home about but I like how direct the guy was about his goals. He wants to be the President of the United States and will do whatever it takes in order to achieve that goal. He’s a very determined guy and thanks to the time travel we get to see just how much more corrupt and bold he has gotten over the years. He makes his original self look super tame in comparison.

Sarah is someone who you feel gets off rather easy during the film. Yes she has her reasons and everything but ultimately she came up short when it counted. The timeline shifting isn’t enough to make her blameless here. I’d definitely have switched up her final scene a bit. I’d also argue that she should either have her memories back or be gone from the current timeline based on how the logic works.

Meanwhile the head of the department seemed really out of his league here. He is extremely slow on the uptake about the idea of the timeline changing. Why? Shouldn’t that be required reading in his position? Every time Max would try to explain something the guy would look at him like he was nuts. Yes it makes for good comedy but it didn’t really make sense in context. Even if he may not believe Max in the end, he should at least have considered the possibility right away.

Ah well, this is why Max has to carry the agency. They would be absolutely doomed without him and the villains would just go ahead and keep on changing the past. You can only squeeze so much into a single movie at least but the rest of the agents really do nothing. At best they just get shot while running around which buys Max another second or two. Max is the only one actually doing any real detective work.

Timecop is one of those classic 90s films that has a fun tone and good amount of action the whole time. We get some good banter and one liners as well. It’s a film that is having a lot of fun throughout the journey even while making time for a lot of serious moments and good fight scenes. It’s very well balanced and most importantly, it’s a really fun film. It’s the kind of title you can easily rewatch down the line because it all ends up aging well.

Overall, Timecop is a pretty good film. Being in charge of regulating time is an absolutely massive responsibility and it would definitely be a stressful job. You don’t envy Max for having to put up with it the whole time. While there are some sci-fi phenomenon like teleporting that I think will be true in the future, I don’t think we will ever get time travel. Seems unlikely to me but at least in the meantime we have all kinds of fun films like this one. There’s so much you can do with the concept that this should have gotten a bunch of sequels.

Overall 7/10

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes Review

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As someone who does not like tomatoes I can confirm that one of my greatest fears would definitely be having to go toe to toe with one of them. If these guys bite as strongly as they taste then it would be all over for me. The film does a good job of poking fun at the concept while also getting in some terrifying moments. I would definitely recommend this one.

The film starts off with a lady getting murdered by a tomato. When the cops show up to check out the damage, one of them immediately notices that the “blood” is actually tomato juice. After this point the tomatoes launch an all out assault against humanity. Their numbers are considerable and for the most part the humans are powerless against them. They even have cherry tomatoes on their side. Will the humans be able to mount a proper counter offensive or is it game over for them?

This movie effectively takes shots at a whole lot of different story beats and groups. For starters the government doesn’t look very good here as their so called experts are completely out of their depth the whole time. They have absolutely no idea what they are doing and this only gets more and more evident as the film goes on. Their meeting rooms simply aren’t big enough for them and even their best agents trip up when the going gets the tough. The master of disguise actually made it pretty far but ultimately even he faltered when it counted. Trust me it was not a proud moment for that guy.

You may even end up rooting for the tomatoes here because of their fun sound effect. It’s really hype whenever they show up. The sound in and of itself isn’t creepy or anything but it’s with the context of knowing that the tomatoes are back. They even toy with the humans like at one point where they surround someone’s car and then calmly roll away. He really got off easy that time and they were effectively giving him a warning. The Tomatoes just took it a little too easily that time. If they had been serious then the film would be over.

Naturally the special effects for the film aren’t particularly good. There are a lot of cutaways so we don’t really get to see much of anything. The tomatoes themselves are just ordinary tomatoes for 90% of the screentime. I would have liked to have seen them grinning and running around more but the film didn’t really have the budget for that. The overt cheapness of the film is part of what makes it all fun though. This film is a parody that is really being as silly as possible.

Now of course in any film with a ton of jokes, there will be a bunch that absolutely don’t land. This film is no exception to that. For example you have Lois who is trying to make a name for herself but her skills aren’t all that great. So she gets desperate enough to consider her boss’ advice which was not good from the start. We also get a last second romance and so those scenes were pretty rough the whole time.

Fortunately the good ones easily overshadowed those. For example we also had Clark Kent show up as well as a good Superman gag at one point which was really good. We got the classic “up up and away” moment which was really inspired. There was also a kid and his dog although they didn’t do so well in the fight. The film had plenty of good references and little moments here and there that enhanced the movie.

There was also the whole plot regarding the white house’s chief of communications. The guy gets embarrassed early on during the Q&A and then we actually get some repercussions from that later on. His plan had been unfolding for a while but I’m sure this helped speed it up. The betrayal was really good. The scene had a lot of tension to it and good development. I was almost more invested in this plot than the tomatoes for a minute there.

The movie is fairly short but even then you enjoyment here will be based on how much you enjoy the main gag of the Tomatoes. Will you find it to be too silly or just the right amount of fun and exciting? Everything hinges on that because at the end of the day this is not a serious thriller or anything like that. Technically the body count is rather high and by the end a ton of people are dead but it’s not like the tone is going to reflect that. This is meant to be a really happy film all the way around and it succeeds on that angle.

I tend to enjoy some quality silly humor so this is up my alley. There was even a quick song by the corporate guy helping on PR which was out of nowhere but pretty intense. The singing voice wasn’t half bad and the lyrics are of course the main highlight. This guy showed that you can be great at business and still find time to sing a quick tune. So the quality song helps to make up for a lack of a big soundtrack, although it’s not like I would have expected a grand soundtrack for this film anyway.

Now lets imagine that the film was played seriously for a moment. I think the way you would do it is that the tomatoes move at high speeds. They would keep slamming into people and the sheer concussive force would knock them out. Maybe the main character is a cook so he is able to slice them apart when they show up. You could still have an end of the world plot with ease but the question is how many audiences would take it seriously anyway. And if you know that they wouldn’t, well that’s why you do the parody instead.

Overall, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is a film that I’ve looked forward to for a long while now and I can definitely say that it lived up to the hype. This is a fun film with an original story. It has a large variety of gags so you are bound to like some of them. From there is just depends on how many you did not like. If it’s a small number then we have a winner. I’ll be curious to see how good the sequels are but it will be hard to beat the original. It’s one of those premises that you probably don’t want to overdo. It’s why I really liked the stinger at the end which showed off the new villains coming up. That has a ton of potential right there.

Overall 7/10