Singin’ in the Rain Review

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This is a movie that is as classic as the original Godzilla! It’s hard to picture any big film fan not being aware of this title. That being said, I’ve seen many classics that simply didn’t live up to their reputation in the olden days so would this film be as good as I had hoped? It’s not quite as good as I had imagined, but the film has its moments. There were just two factors keeping it from being a good movie for me.

Don is an actor who is proud of his work. He’s done well for himself and everything is going smoothly until he meets a girl who reminds him that movie actors aren’t real actors. Don’s life is torn to pieces at this revelation, but he recovers from this once the lady admits that she has seen all of his movies and wants to be an actress someday as well. Hollywood never stops and the owner of the company finds out that movies will have sound from now on so he has Don make a new film. The problem is that his co-host can’t sing. What will they do!?

With that, we have the drama, the action, the excitement, and most importantly…the musical numbers! Let’s tackle this one area at a time. For starters, the writing is really good. This is a classic film so it makes sense, but the characters trade barbs and insults rather well in that sophisticated way that people used to speak. The tongue twisters of the old days were also a lot of fun and definitely could test anyone’s mettle. This is one crucial element in the film’s favor.

Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for the pacing, which is a little erratic. Before I get into this, I should note that I was practically expecting a completely different film as I walked into this one. Sure, I knew that it was a musical and I had already seen the famous scene sometime ago. The difference was the fact that Don was an actor. So, the setting and environment was much different than I had anticipated. Even so, I felt like the beginning was a little slow. Once the characters decided that they wanted to make a film with sound, I felt like the plot really started moving. The beginning was pleasant enough, but it didn’t immediately grab my interest the way most old films do because of the main character. More on that later!

Just when the film was going well, the characters have a very trippy dream where some guy decides to hang out with the girl friend of a mob boss. The scene then cuts away as the guy becomes a professional dancer, but the girl appears again and they both have a dangerous dance where the guy barely escapes with his life. The scene drags on for so long that I legitimately began to wonder if this wasn’t a dream and the movie had actually started. When the characters woke up, it was like someone had stolen the last scoop of ice cream at the local deli.

It was a pretty poor montage and that was before we found out that it was all a dream. While most of the film is enjoyable and fun, these scenes weren’t. They were clearly trying to re enact the tale of a classic hero who is seduced by a villainous lady who tricks him into dying, but it always makes the main character look bad. It was also a little more intense than I would have expected from such a classic film with such a good reputation and that’s considering that several seconds were apparently cut out for being too sketchy. This is really where the film lost most of its points. (Plural…that’s a bad sign)

I really just had one more main complaint with the film. While the movie that the heroes realizes was supposed to look pretty bad, it was terrible for another reason and that was due to the retro plot as the villain attacked the heroine. It’s a negative for sure, but not the other main one. The other main negative is actually Don himself who essentially acts like an old school Tony Stark or a mild version of James Bond. Apparently he is quite the flirt and immediately starts to flirt with the heroine after only seeing her for a few seconds.

This guy is far from being heroic and I knew that I would not like the main character after his opening scene with Kathy. (The heroine) There was no recovery from such a thing. Kathy is all right although she definitely goes from one extreme to the other as she dislikes Don before changing her mind and the whole climax is basically her going from sad tears to happy ones. Cosmo is really the guy who stole most of the show even if his antics could be a bit much at times. He definitely seems to have more talent to Don and a more charismatic personality so I could easily see him holding his own film. He got a lot of the best barbs and burns throughout the film and also came up with most of the ideas when the other characters were in a pinch.

I also liked the president of the company as he talked a good game and always allowed others to manipulate him by bringing up the fact that he’s President of the company. His sarcastic remarks would typically backfire on him and he only narrowly managed to have a happy ending here. Through it all, he never lost his nerve and that takes guts. Lina was the co-star for the films and is essentially the main antagonist for the film. She gets friend zoned the whole film, but keeps going after Don. If not for that part of her personality she wouldn’t be a bad character. I actually felt a little bad for her since most of the film is about the heroes making fun of her voice and getting someone else to sing her roles instead. Lina naturally gets a little resentful of this, especially after having trained so long and hard for this opportunity. Just another showing of how the heroes could be a little cruel. Lina’s not really a good character anyway as she gets others fired and is too obsessive over Don, but the heroes did not help matters.

This is a musical, but I can’t say that any of the songs were very memorable. There are certainly no “Let It Go” award winning songs in this playbook. The famous Singing in the Rain scene is a lot of fun, but more for the action than for the actual song. I liked how the policeman dashed over to put Don in his place. It is probably against some laws to skip and dance in the street on such a slippery day. Luckily for Don, there were no cars around so the danger was kept to a minimum.

Overall, Singin in the Rain was a film where I can see how it became a classic, but I can’t say that it totally floats my boat. As far as drama, musical, romance, comedy films go, I’ve seen better ones. The songs were not quite masterpieces and Don was terrible as the main character. Cutting him out of the film or eliminating the dream sequence likely would have been enough to put the film in the clear. As it was, the film could not overcome having two big negatives. If you’re looking for a retro film and don’t mind long scenes of questionable dancing, then check this out at your own peril, but if you want a film with a lot of heart and meaningful character development, I recommend checking out Madoka Magica Rebellion!

Overall 4/10

Horror of Dracula Review

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Time to look at another Dracula film! Dracula has always been my least favorite of the classic monster legends. Yes…he’s less enjoyable for me than Frankenstein! I didn’t have high hopes for this film, but it was an old one so maybe it would be good. Alas, it wasn’t to be. The film made all of the mistakes that you would expect of it aside from animal violence. While I am grateful about the last part, it’s not enough to save the whole film.

Mr. Harker heads to Dracula’s lair to end the vampire once and for all. Little did he know that the mission was doomed to fail right from the start. Dracula is simply too powerful and with his telekinesis..there is really nothing that a mere mortal can do. Van Helsing realizes that Harker has been gone for a long time and decides to take out Dracula himself. Can he really beat the vampire or will everyone have to die first?

The film is surprisingly violent so you should be ready for a large body count. Characters are impaled and naturally bitten as this is a vampire film. It’s why I will never be able to get into Vampire films since blood sucking is essentially inevitable. If a 50’s version of Dracula is this violent, you can imagine how gruesome the latter ones are. Dracula takes no prisoners and simply creates more and more vampires whenever he fights.

I will give the film some credit for actually doing a good job of making you think that Mr. Harker actually stands a chance. He’s very confident and puts on a good poker face when talking to Dracula. His mistake was letting his feelings get in the way of his mission. He should have found it a little suspicious that there was a girl who wouldn’t tell him much, yet she still wanted to bypass the friend zone with him. Sadly, Mr. Harker is like the average film protagonist in the sense that he just doesn’t care. It certainly came back to bite him.

Vampires are typically weak against Garlic, Sunlight, and the sign of the Cross. It depends on the version, but all three are effective in this version and they are the best way to fight them off. Van Helsing uses all three, but he forgets them for the final battle so we get to see a quick fist fight. As with most classic monsters, Dracula likes to resort to the classic choking attack to take the heroes down for the count. It proves to be a bit of a mistake as it always gives the heroes a little extra time to prepare themselves.

Dracula doesn’t have a whole lot of personality and it seems like he just wants to make everyone miserable and suck as much blood as possible. His character had potential in the opening scenes, but then he quickly went off the deep end and became a villain who simply needed to be stopped. I suppose that’s all the character that he really needs, but it doesn’t make me care for him as an antagonist.

Mr. Harker was a decent lead, but his one mistake was a huge one and made him look like a rookie. How can you let yourself get bitten? Howwwwwwww! Van Helsing is more prepared than Mr. Harker, but he loves to be vague. Instead of rushing over to challenge Dracula, he likes to have some bait ready and it always cooking up a scheme that will allow him to approach the vampire from a defensive standpoint. Helsing is smart, but not overly brave and he could have reduced the body count if he had been upfront with the other characters from the start.

He certainly doesn’t deserve all of the blame though as the rest of the characters look pretty bad as well. Dracula’s victims aren’t able to fight their urges nor are they able to defend themselves so Dracula easily manages to take them out. If you know that you’re about to die anyway, you may as well through a good punch or something. It’ll look good on the stat sheet.

The first vampire lady to appear was rather odd on that front. She asked Harker to help her and then she attacked him. That’s not a very effective way to get someone to help and then Dracula defeated her. I assume that her lust for blood was just too powerful, but that still makes her look terrible. If you want to escape, then that should give you enough motivation to escape instead of going back and forth with the decisions. Ah well, that’s why her mission ultimately failed.

The beginning of the film with Mr. Harker was the best part and I feel like the whole film would have been better off if it had followed his plot a little more. Spending 80% of the film as a mystery thriller with him would have been epic. He would have had to die at some point anyway, but that would be the climax and the rest of the film would have still been fairly epic. Fans who went in expecting Dracula to get a big role would have been disappointed, but it would have all been worth it for the epic intro.

Dracula doesn’t look very tough in this version. I would still choose him over The Mummy in a fight as their physical abilities are more or less equal, but Dracula has the speed edge. Beyond that, I have a feeling that bullets would hurt him in this version as he didn’t seem all too sturdy. If he really cannot turn into a bat as Helsing believes, that also hurts his retreat options. The humans could have beaten Dracula if they knew any good judo tricks. Running up to Dracula and throwing a punch is simply not going to cut it here.

Overall, Dracula doesn’t manage to be as entertaining as the Mummy film. It’s short, but it’s still just pretty bad. The violence was a little over the top and you’ll just be reminded of why vampire films are no fun. The bitemarks are always a little gross and the concept of blood sucking is rather sad as well. Dracula Untold managed to avoid all of that for the most part and if you want to watch a film with the legend, check that one out instead. This one is best left in the relics of yesterday as it is forgotten while in the shadow of the original. Of course, this film did get 8 sequels…which is very intriguing. The legacy did not die here!

Overall 2/10

The Swarm Review

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This film definitely came out a good while ago. Whether you’ve heard of the film by name or not, you’ll likely be familiar with the concept. For some reason, a film about bees attacking the world just seems like something that you’ve heard before. It’s not a concept that will excite you and the film certainly doesn’t do that. This is a classic that has not aged very well.

Dr. Crane is found at a government installation and all of the agents are dead. The officials fear that enemy agents managed to break in, but Dr. Crane admits that it was actually the bees. Nobody believes him for a little while, but they are forced to realize the truth when more cities are attacked. The bees have launched a war against humanity and Dr. Crane says that they have been planning the war for some time now. The heroes will have to be careful about how they handle this because they will be doomed if other insects join the fight against the humans.

The film is very long so it likes to take time to develop the scenes. That’s not a good thing since it means that simple actions like taking a walk can drag on for quite a while. The opening scene where the agents find the dead men lying around takes at least 5 minutes before they call in the backup. By the end of the film, you’ll have wondered why the heroes are losing to bees instead of remembering what the plot is.

My main problem with the film would actually just be the fact that I don’t like the concept. It’s always been a little gross to see humans covered by insects and that means that none of the action scenes are enjoyable. The Bees are also animals and while animal violence doesn’t apply to them too much, it’s still not going to really help the film in the long run. That’s why a film can only be as good as its concept and this concept had a lot of limits to it.

There’s also a lot of plot hax as the bees are basically immune to everything and nearly impossible to stop. We get a few twists and the heroes think of a plan at the end of the film, but the death count is incredibly high. Hundreds of thousands of people died against the bees so it really was like a real war. If the Bees can do that much damage to us….imagine what the flies can do! It should be noted that the Bees were actually Super Bees who could destroy the average human in 2-3 stings. That’s why the heroes were so defenseless against the creatures.

This film is incredibly old so there’s no real soundtrack. That being said, we still get a really emotional death scene where a scientist realizes what he has to do to stop the bees. The only downside is that he must die to test out his serum. The guy decided to take a large dose of venom and by the time he applied the antidote, it was too late. The scene is supposed to be really sad, but the scientist just acted so unintelligent that it’s hard to buy the emotion. He should have had an assistant with him and he shouldn’t have started the dosage up at such a high level. His sacrifice was essentially in vain.

I do like the determination that the army had as they went into this fight. The commander always talks a good game and he didn’t make the mistake of underestimating the opponents. That being said, he was forced to defer to Mr. Crane on this war, which meant that he couldn’t actually go through with the war efforts that he wanted to try. Both Mr. Crane’s and the commander’s tactics proved to be useless anyway so it wasn’t a big loss, but he was much more interesting than the main character.

Mr. Crane wasn’t a bad main character by any means, but he may have been a little naive. He persisted in waiting out the Bees even when the casualties were steadily rising. He really had no plan to stop them for a while and the losses shouldn’t have been acceptable to him. Worrying about the environment is good, but America was getting close to being destroyed, he needed to act sooner. His possible romance subplot was also rather iffy and not integral to the plot…it was just there to be there.

There’s a little kid in this film who helps to doom his fellow students as he launches an attack on the bees. It was one of those emotional subplots that we didn’t need. While he did a good job of taking down a lot of Bees, he should have known that they would retaliate. The citizens are partially to blame since they had quite a bit of time to get inside, but many of them were still caught unprepared. After the first traumatic attack, I’d imagine that everyone would be especially careful not to be outside too long.

There’s also a subplot where two guys are flirting with an old lady. With all of these subplots, it’s no wonder why the film was so long right? This was mainly just filler and some levity likely intended to take your mind off of the somber Bee plot. The moral is essentially that both guys should have just been satisfied to stay in the friend zone. It would have saved them a lot of grief and they wouldn’t have had to become enemies through their fight over the lady.

At least the writing is all fairly good in the Swarm as this was back in the 1970’s. The characters mostly sound distinguished and Mr. Crane is constantly trying to out think the government. It is hinted that he allowed the Bees to destroy the military base without trying to warn any of the guards and that adds some tension to the equation. I still love the classic dialogue from these olden films and the English language is still my favorite because of how smart and quick it sounds.

It was a little surprising to see some of the victims of the Bees. I wasn’t expecting a good number of the school children to die, but I suppose that it was left in since it wasn’t a violent death. (On screen anyway) It’s too bad that they couldn’t escape though since they didn’t really need to add to the body count. It was already so high by that point. We did get some decent action scenes at the end as the humans grabbed their flame throwers, but they were doomed from the start. There are millions of bees after all and a quick sting is enough to take the fight out of the humans. The Bees even start to give you visions of a giant bee that wants to sting you. Their abilities are certainly fierce!

Overall, The Swarm really isn’t my kind of film. If you want to see how humans would fare against the Bees, then you should like this film. If you buy into Crane’s theory that they are out to get us, then it’ll be even more fun for you as the Bees strategically take down base after base. The film is really dragged out though and it just isn’t that much fun to watch. The Bees don’t work as antagonists for me and while Dr. Crane and the government agents are decent, there are no really good characters. Even the climax may not be all that exciting for you. This is a film to pass and I doubt that it will scare you either as it feels more like a comedy than a horror at times.

Overall 3/10

Beyond The Poseidon Adventure Review

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I saw the original Poseidon Adventure not too long ago. It played out as you would have expected from a disaster film. One by one, the characters all went down until the ending finally came for the lucky survivors. It was decently good, but dragged o n a bit. The sequel has a very similar plot that also goes for around 2 hours so it’s safe to say that I expected it to drag on a little as well. I can also see why it got bad reviews since it is like you are seeing the same film twice. That being said, it was a decent film.

After the Poseidon adventure, a boat happens to come across it. The Captain is none other than Mike Turner. Along with Wilbur and Celeste, he decides to go into the boat and try to grab as much treasure and riches as possible. After all, the boat was carrying a lot of rich people aboard so there is a lot of money to be found. The dangers are also present as it could go under at any point and trap the main characters. This is a risk that Mike is willing to take as he is in a very tricky financial situation at the moment. A few doctors also arrive and decide to join Mike. Will the group be able to get rich and find some survivors along the way as well? Time to find out!

The premise is definitely a little out there as it is hard to see someone actually jumping into a boat that is already mostly underwater. Also, it really looked like the boat was not going to stay up based on the first film. I have to wonder if there were any fans of the first film who decided to really take a look at how it was presented in the second film. It’s just hard to believe that there are still so many rooms that are not filled by water yet. In the first film, the heroes were constantly trapped and forced to take other routes. Is this really the same Poseidon? Many areas just seem to be completely different, but I was watching as a casual viewer and can’t say for sure whether or not anything had changed. I can just imagine that there must be a lot of plot holes to be found.

A lot of people actually ended up surviving as well. It felt like Mike and the others managed to find a new survivor in every room that they came across. It’s cool that more people got to make it out of the ship alive, but it also meant that more fatalities would be present in the film. One character actually says “Finish her” as a reference to the old (and new) Mortal Kombat games. That’s the perfect way to also mention that there are villains this time. A group of felons want to take away some chemical weapons as well as the traditional ones from the ship. They’ll shoot anyone who gets in their way.

That’s another part that can be a little hard to buy at times. While it is really easy for the villains to find the weapons, I don’t have a problem with that. The ending is more dicey as the villains leave the boat and then find a way to easily get to the weapons from outside and start to bring them all up. I don’t think that it was so easy to reach the weapons and bringing them all outside would certainly take some time. As you can see, I just found many parts of this film to be a little unbelievable, but I suppose that it helps the nostalgia value. In modern films, every part of the script and background is typically looked at by so many people that it’s hard to spot any big errors or leaps in logic anymore. For example, an old cartoon may have some scenes where a character’s costume loses its colors, but you probably wouldn’t see that in a modern one. I kind of miss those errors as they help the film age well 50 years from now as you can witness the errors and smile.

This film mainly suffers from an area that hurt the first film. It tends to drag on after a while. Most of the film is just the crew trying to escape the ship so they go deeper and deeper into the boat before finally starting to get out. You could spend a good 10 minutes or more watching the heroes try to go up a single ladder. What makes this even less exciting is the fact that you already saw them do this in the last film. You’re almost literally watching them do the exact same things again. We have the underwater ladder push that happened in the first film as well and most of the ladder scenes are similar as well. The director should have definitely tried to speed things along a bit here by having the heroes just climb up faster or not showing us every little detail.

Finally, I also think that the film overestimates how much effort it takes to climb a ladder. It’s incredibly easy to do so, but all of the characters act as if they’re lifting weights while going up. The only person who should have had a tough time was the person with a dislocated arm or the blind man, but even then it should have been a little easier. You only need your arms for balance while on the ladder and even then, one arm is good enough. Your legs are doing all of the work. I don’t see what the big deal was about. Mike also looked bad as the lady fell and took him with her. He should have easily been able to keep them both on the ladder since he was prepared for her to possibly fall down. It was definitely not his best moment.

As for the cast, we had a pretty colorful one. The film was trying to have a similar dynamic between the main character and rival as the last one so there is a guy here who is constantly arguing with Mike. Again, the film is just trying to copy the first one as with the plot and scenes instead of coming up with something different. The Texas drunk was one of the more likable characters, but most of the others were just all right or not that good. I was never a big fan of Wilbur and Mike was too interested in the money to really be all that great. At least he did care about saving everyone though. The blind guy wasn’t bad and neither was his wife, but they also didn’t add anything to the film. The doctors showed their true colors and the lady with the high heels got a decent action scene, but she really didn’t think her actions through very carefully. Celeste was just very odd throughout the film as she was always rambling on about something. Still, the cast could have been worse as none of the characters were actually terrible or very bad. Most of them just weren’t that good either.

Overall, I still wouldn’t call this a bad film at all. It was just too busy trying to be a complete copy of the first adventure that it didn’t try anything new. I can see why it got bad reviews as it may as well have been a reboot of the first title. It dragged on at times and the characters weren’t great. There were some action scenes as well like gun fights and someone grabbed an axe as well. (The axe scene definitely came out of nowhere) The dialogue can be good at times, but also not very good in other moments so the film didn’t stand out there. As you can see, the film wasn’t exactly great in any area, but for the most part, it wasn’t bad in any either. It’s a slightly under average film, but it still holds up just well enough to keep it from getting a negative rating. It’s still impressive that one of the characters managed to keep hold of his wine bottle for almost the whole film. He definitely lasted! I’d almost say that I recommend this film more if you haven’t seen the first one. If you liked the first one a lot then it’s still a good bet to say that you’ll like this one. If you weren’t crazy about the first title, then you should definitely skip this one as it is not quite as good in just about every way. It’s still a decent adventure though and it’ll be interesting to see how is fares against the reboot.

Overall 5/10

The Maltese Falcon Review

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The Maltese Falcon is a film that is even older than the original Godzilla. It’s definitely known as a classic at this point and with good reason. It’s a film that definitely holds up pretty well against the test of time. It’s nice and confusing without necessarily cheating the audience as it goes along. You have opportunities to try and piece together what is up amist all of the trickery that is afoot.

The main character is a guy named Sam Spade. He is a detective and one day a lady comes into his office asking him to tail someone. This guy may be dangerous so she wants them to proceed with caution. Sam has his partner tail the guy, but he ends up getting knocked off. This just got personal for Sam and he knows that the lady knows more. Other wrinkles quickly develop in the plot as an organization led by the Fat Man enters the picture along with a shady fellow representing another organization. What ties all of these individuals together is their desire to obtain the Maltese Falcon.

It’s definitely a pretty fun mystery as you watch Sam try to piece it all together. He definitely has no help since none of the characters want to be honest with him. He handles the whole thing pretty well for the most part although he does get knocked out once or twice. Sam is still human so I suppose he’s entitled to a few mistakes. One area where he didn’t look good was how he would let Brigid get to him even though he knew that she was pretty shady. By the end he makes the right call, but he should have kept the whole thing a little more business like anyway since he knew that it wouldn’t work out. As a detective, he’s definitely one of the best in the biz. He doesn’t back down from the cops or from gangsters. Sam just seems pretty fearless and we know that he isn’t, but his tough facade is a hard one to break down. He’s also a pretty talented fighter as he disarms several villains in the film.

Brigid is the main heroine and she constantly tells Sam lie after lie. It’s a good thing that he’s got a lot of experience at detecting those because she would have had him trapped otherwise. She got herself into this mess so it’s hard to feel sorry for her. She’s just as guilty as the other villains in pursuit of the Falcon so it’s hard to know which group to root for from the big 3. Regardless, she is typically on the defensive since she usually doesn’t carry a gun. She wasn’t my kind of villain.

Cairo is the kind of villain who acts really polite even when he is doing something sinister. He doesn’t look too impressive in his first fight with Sam, but he manages to do all right by the end. He is treated like a punching bag compared to the other villains though and you never get the feeling that his group will end up winning. He’s pretty brave and a quick thinker sometimes. Cairo’s a fun villain to watch, but one that you don’t expect to go very far.

Poor Wilmer is the main subordinate of the “Fat Man” and he always has a gun yet he is never really able to win. He’s constantly outmatched against Sam and the humiliations never stop for him. For a while you start to think that the “Fat Man” might just off him for being so inneffective as a hit man. Wilmer manages to escape that fate, but let’s just say that things aren’t all well and good for him by the time everything’s over. He does get more character than the “Fat Man” though. The boss talks tough, but he’s the kind of guy who really needs a bodyguard since he wouldn’t last very long on his own. He was a pretty fun villain and he also likes to act polite, but he enters the party pretty late. His final trick was a doozy though.

As with most of the old (Pre 60’s) films that I’ve seen, The Maltese Falcon has exceptional writing. If films still used the dialogue of the old days it would make for some pretty thrilling moments. There’s just something about the lines that makes all of the characters seem reasonably smart. It’s pretty neat and it’s probably one of the reasons why I like the feel of these films. The adventures are always very interesting and even if you manage to get lost in the shuffle of plot twists at some point, you’ll have had fun.

The ending was definitely a little unexpected, but in a good way. It was good to see a certain character get the last laugh after such a complicated endeavor. This character never actually gets to appear, but we begin to realize his brilliance once the final plot twist pops up. Trust me, it’s a doozy! It was a satisfying way to end the film and while we could in theory get a sequel, it can stand up on its own. The solid writing and good cast of characters definitely make the mystery entertaining. There is no soundtrack to be found here, but I suppose that I can overlook that this time…..I suppose.

Overall, The Maltese Falcon lives up to its reputation of being one of the best films of its time. It holds up well to the Hitchcock films or the other Bogart titles where he starred in a similar role. You may have some trouble keeping up with the names at first, but once you’ve go them down you’re all set to start deciphering the clues. Sam does let his feelings overwhelm him at times, but for at least 90% of the film, he’s the intense main character that we had been waiting for. I highly recommend checking this out if you like a good mystery.

Overall 7/10