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Here Comes Mr. Jordan Review

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It’s time for another film involving souls and it was pretty interesting but I definitely had a massive problem with the ending. The problem was so big that I dare say it ends up having a big effect on the movie itself. It’s just not the way you want to see these things go and it felt like the main character basically got the raw end of the deal. Nothing went the way that it should have for him.

The movie starts with Joe getting ready for the biggest match of his life. If he wins this then he will be crowned the #1 boxing champ. Joe has been training his entire life for this and is pretty confident in his chances. He hops into his plane and heads on over but some wind shows up and his plane starts to crash. That’s when he wakes up in the after life where he is being taken away….permanently. The whole thing seems rather off so he questions the angel, 7013 on this. Well…it looks like this guy is new at the job and he jumped the gun by taking Joe out early. His boss Jordan vows to make this right.

He will see to it that Joe has a satisfactory new body to replace the old one and that he can live out the rest of his life there. He’s supposed to have dozens of years left to live and so of course Jordan will make sure that he gets to live those years. Joe is not thrilled about any of this but will give this a fair shake as he waits for a good body. There has to be one around here somewhere. And so begins the journey of body hopping and trying to become the champ again.

A good chunk of the film takes place with a corrupt businessman named Farnsworth. See, he was murdered by his wife and her rebound guy so this is a decent body for Joe. It’s not exactly in the most well fit shape but it can do the job. The only problem is of course that people want him dead and the girl that Joe likes (Bette) can’t stand Farnsworth. Well, it’s time for justice and maybe he can get her to change her mind by becoming a better person.

This is really where the film should have stayed as this makes perfect sense for the film. He gets to have a shot at the title because he’s so rich that he can schedule fights and he can use his wealth to make the world a better place. How do you top that right? Well, that would be the general idea but the characters don’t play this smart and the film isn’t quite done yet. There are more bodies to hop and twists to come flying.

First I will say it’s odd that Joe didn’t do anything about the people who murdered Farnsworth. He knows good and well that his wife and secretary had already murdered him once so doesn’t it stand to reason that they would do this again? It makes no sense that he just leaves them to their own devices and doesn’t do a thing about it. This ultimately comes back to bite him and it’s all just rather senseless. Additionally there’s a long period there where Joe doesn’t even really think much about taking them to justice, it’s the last thing on his mind and so he’s close to just letting these murderers keep the money and just doing his own thing. That also doesn’t make sense, cmon now.

Joe’s just not a very smart guy and makes every kind of mistake imaginable. If there’s an error to be made then he will make it. It’s just that simple and that’s really bad all around. You’re rooting for him because he’s a nice guy, but he is definitely a frustrating character the whole time. It’s like he’s sabotaging himself the whole time. Meanwhile it goes without saying that everyone should be upset at 7013 since he messed everything up in the first place. Despite that, he has the gall to be complaining about the situation at different points and how time consuming it all is. He’s the guy who made the situation like this in the first place so there’s really no sympathy here.

Jordan is a bit disappointing in the end too and Joe should be mad at the guy. First off, he absolutely could have warned Joe that he was about to get bumped off the second time. He knew in advance so why not mention something? I’d argue even if it’s against the rules that wouldn’t matter in this case since the situation was all his fault as well. At that point there’s no real precedent for what’s going on. The worst part is also that Jordan ends up just being a big liar the whole time. He made a lot of promises to Joe the whole time about how he would be able to live out the rest of his life and get his shot to be the champion. While the latter maybe counts if you really squint, he definitely went back on the first aspect. It’s just a super rough spot to be in because Joe really lost everything without anything to show for it.

The film also doesn’t make Bette look good as a result. You have to understand that she falls in love with Joe when he’s in the Farnsworth body and then falls for him again in the next one? As far as she knows these are two completely different people so she moves on way too quickly. That’s not the way you find true love and it just makes her look more on the shallow side. I definitely expected better from her here and the romance in general is definitely on the weaker side. Even in the first place it’s hard to see her falling for Farnsworth when he was the one responsible for sending her father to prison. Yes, he made things right but it’s way too late by then right?

Joe’s boss Max was an entertaining character and I always enjoyed seeing him around but the guy could be a bit slow on the uptake at times. Things definitely didn’t go his way a whole lot and you could argue that he probably lose out the most in a lot of ways. Yes, the ending does throw him a bit of a bone but that’s all it does. The guy should have gotten off with a much better fate. He may have contributed to the issue by burning up the original body but it’s not like he ever could have known what was going to happen so I can’t blame him there.

Overall, The writing is good and I enjoyed the plot but the whole movie feels rather unfair to Joe. He was taken from Earth way too early and so he correctly fought for his case to go back. All well and good but the end of the film just slips the rug out from under him which is unfortunate. So I had a good time here and the comedy could be good but parts of the story feel really forced and additionally that ending is particularly brutal. That knocks it down a few pegs here and it’s an eternal reminder of why an ending is supremely important. Without it, you have nothing!

Overall 5/10

Soul Review

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It’s time to look at a Pixar film that came out a while back. It’s a fun title about body swapping while also just being a bit emptier than some of the previous films. You will have a good time here but it feels like they left a whole lot of meat on the bone with what you can do in this kind of plot. I suppose it’s going for a very different feel compared to something like Freaky Friday or Your Name so I couldn’t expect to see all of the usual shenanigans and yet I do think it would have been nice to have seen those.

The movie starts with Joe being stuck in a rather boring teaching position. It’s just not his passion, the guy wants to get out there and play some jazz music. He’s super interested in music but he doesn’t seem to have the talent. Joe’s just never been able to make it in the profession and he had started to lose hope when he gets one last shot. He does really well in the audition this time and is prepared for success when unfortunately he falls down a manhole and is brought to the brink of death. He’s so close to death that his soul heads to the waiting area for death. His only chance to avoid oblivion is to get back to Earth immediately but along the way he meets a spirit named 22. This is his loophole.

Joe needs to convince 22 that she does have a passion, something worth living for. She doesn’t actually want to go to the real world but agrees to get the badge so she can give it to him to have a second shot at life and then she can have fun in the waiting area for the rest of her life. Thing is, there is a bit of a time constraint here in case something happens to Joe’s body and additionally what if he succeeds and 22 decides to keep the body? It’s going to be tricky for him.

It’s always a bit hard to tell where the plot summary really stops in a case like this because the plot just keeps on rolling. I feel like this is a safe place to stop without getting you too many spoilers there but I’m not sure how much the trailers cover and I think some would say to take it a step further is valid. This feels about right to me though even if I will be getting more into the film below. This isn’t exactly a film with any big twists in it or anything like that anyway.

Interestingly there isn’t even a main villain here. At no point are the characters in any real danger or anything like that. The main dilemma is really in Joe trying to get back to Earth but it’s technically very low stakes for the guy. If he fails then he gets to move on into the next realm. There’s no life or death stuff going on here or even a mean landlord trying to steal money or something like that.

In this film it seems like reincarnation is the way the spirits work. Instead of natural biology occurring and kids growing up naturally, spirits are sent from another world to jump into the body of the baby once it is born. Basically souls don’t just appear naturally and so there is a whole order of people raising the spirits and getting them ready to succeed. Natural talent? No such thing, every spirit already has skills that are predetermined from when they were created.

It’s a bit of a wonky system and also one that doesn’t really change much about the film. It’s an interesting take on things but you could also cut it out and nothing would really change so deep down it’s not actually all that important. The spirit world is just a bit boring though so you are always waiting for Joe to get back to Earth. The world wasn’t built for humans so I suppose that makes sense but it means this film doesn’t have as strong a supporting cast as the average titlle.

The only character in spirit world that I liked was Terry and I felt bad for him the whole time. He’s just doing his job and literally helping out by reporting anomalies and everyone treats him like a pest. All the other cosmic beings here are super annoying and Terry really needs to take over at some point. He’s the only one with the skills to actually make that happen after all. The others would crumble immediately.

As a lead Joe is decent but there’s not a whole lot to him. He’s got a tough time actually talking about how he feels and so without 22 here to help him out, the guy hasn’t build himself the best social life. If not for nearly dying he actually would have been in a decent spot though so he was about to turn things around. His character arc feels like it’s still incomplete by the end which does hurt him a bit.

As for 22, she’s more on the annoying side. She may have apparently existed for many years but she still feels like a kid, and a rather selfish one at that. You can’t trust her to keep her word and she guilt trips Joe as needed. I wouldn’t say she had much time to improve either which is unfortunate. 22 ends up helping out a whole lot but this usually occurs through luck and coincidence. By all accounts she shouldn’t have done very well here otherwise.

Now this may sound like a lot of negatives all at once but the film is still good. The animation is solid enough. The graphics are good and you can tell that this is a newer film even if the style isn’t exciting. Pixar really needs to branch out and start to work on better character designs and streamlined colors but at this point you’re used to the style so you either like it or you don’t. It’s still good even if I don’t think it’s elite or anything like that.

Also the movie does move very quickly. The pacing is good and it never drags on. I wouldn’t say it ever makes any big mistakes either. Soul keeps me entertained well enough as well. So I’d say the best way to think of this film is as one that will keep you interested all the way through but doesn’t have a lot of replay value. It’s great background noise in a way that fills in the time but there’s just never a whole lot happening. I think it bit off a plot that was bigger than it could handle and so in the end it just doesn’t make great use of it. You either need the whole film about body swapping or you need the whole film about showing 22 why life is fun but splitting them apart doesn’t leave room for much.

Overall, Soul is a fun film. I think it would have succeeded more if it was funnier as most of the jokes don’t land but at the same time I would consider it to be a very safe film. It’s not particularly ambitious and it has a very small cast but it’s interesting and looks decent. It probably could have stood to have a little less world building so it could focus more on the situation at hand but if we ever get Soul 2 then we could jump right into the story which should end up helping it out. I’d recommend this one if you like Jazz music or are just interested in the story.

Overall 6/10

Woman in Hiding Review

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It’s time for an old noir thriller. I felt like this one was a bit weaker than the average Noir title thanks to the main character in a lot of ways although it’s not like the main villain was all that great either. So it’s a team effort there but at the same time it is still a good movie which is the important part. There’s enough to enjoy here without issues and it will keep your attention.

The film starts off with Deborah deciding that she is through with Selden. The guy basically never comes by to see her. It’s apparently been over 6 months since he effectively ghosted her so she’s going to move to New York. Selden makes some weak excuses but she won’t have any of them. She knows deep in her heart that she has made the right move and settling for this guy would be doing herself a disservice. Her father has everything set up and so she goes home to get ready to pack. Unfortunately Selden runs in later on and explains that her father tripped and died in a crazy accident. He’s also back in love with her so she quickly marries him. Unfortunately this was part of his plan and now he owns the mill.

He threatens her to not leave him or try anything or he will take her down for good. So Deborah waits until night fall to make a break for it but gets into a sabotaged car and crashes. This does allow her to fake her own death but Selden is too prepared and stays on her tail. Surely switching states and names would be enough right? Well she meets another guy that she falls for and what she doesn’t know is that there’s a reward out for her. Uh oh……

So as you can probably guess I have quite a few issues with Deborah in particular here. She just seems way too easy which how she falls for these men. In fact the entire plan only works because she’s always falling in love so easily. (Which as we know when you fall in love too easily then the feelings aren’t all that deep) I don’t get how she let herself marry Selden after it was clear that he didn’t care about her the first time. I won’t fault her for not realizing that he murdered her father since that’s a lot more obvious for the viewer than the character but what she should have definitely realizes was that he just wanted to run the company and she was a means to an end. The fact that she never even suspected that makes her look absolutely terrible.

It took actual proof in front of her face that he was cheating on her for her to finally see the light. Then, in the days before internet you’d think it would be easy to stay out of hi gaze once you’re out of town right? Well it could have been easy if she had kept to herself and not taken chances but starting to like another guy? Cmonnnnnnnn, it just shouldn’t work that fast. She falls into every trap and just makes this adventure a whole lot harder than it needs to be.

I didn’t even like the second guy either. So Keith is someone who just wants to have a good time and he likes her but the guy isn’t the best at listening. Deborah basically spells out the situation to him but he chooses to sell her out anyway. I have to imagine that deep down part of it was for the money but either way it’s a bad look because she had warned him several times that she was being pursued and was obviously terrified. Somehow he took that in the other way to mean that she actually was crazy and the guy over the phone was the one who could be trusted.

He put her in so much danger that I don’t care how sorry he was about it afterwards, there’s no way I can picture her staying with him after that. You’d think that she would be completely traumatized at that point and would prefer sticking it out on her own. Meanwhile the main villain wasn’t the smartest either. He could have handled the situation with Patricia so much better if he wanted to keep the company. Additionally if he wanted to stop Deborah in the opening scene there were much better ways to do it than sabotaging a car and hoping that she didn’t survive. There are so many ways that the plan could have backfired even outside of the way that it backfired in this plan. The guy just wasn’t smart.

Speaking of characters making mistakes, we’ve also got Patricia who makes a lot of mistakes. So Selden nearly murders her in the opening scene and ditched her for money immediately yet she continues to like him for no real reason. It’s clear that he is just using her and that he’s insane but later she tries to act shocked about it. There’s no way you can believe her and I don’t see how she can even believe herself. It just makes her look even worse. If you’re going to be a backstabbing villain then you have to own that but trying to play it both ways and gain some sympathy will never work.

So in the end, what keeps this from being a stronger Noir title is that I didn’t really like any of the characters. They were all really annoying the whole time and kept on holding each other back. Deborah should have escaped easily once she made it out of the car, Selden never should have let it get to that point, Keith never should have sold her out, and Patricia should have never thought that she could trust Selden. They all kept on making mistake after mistake which was annoying but at least the core story was still engaging. This is a thriller that keeps you wondering what will happen next especially sine it’s hard to guess what the characters will mess up next.

Overall, If this sounds like your cup of tea then you should check it out. There’s always room for more thrillers out there right? If this sounds like it might be a bit of a slog, then it’s time to shift gears back onto a more iconic one. At the very least this film will remind you that if you intent to hide or fake your death then you need to really stay out of the limelight entirely. That absolutely means no falling in love for a while I’m afraid.

Overall 6/10

An Eye for an Eye Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a revenge story. Sort of like John Wick but this film does balance in some humor the whole time as well and it can be difficult to balance out those two tones. I will say to the film’s credit, it did a pretty good job with the two of them. I was pretty satisfied the whole time at least on a tonal level although the film as a whole I wouldn’t say was all that great.

The movie starts with Sean and his partner getting ready to finally complete this big undercover drug case that they have been on for a very long time. It’s been a really grueling mission the whole time but things are looking up. Unfortunately it turns out to be a set up and Sean’s partner is murdered while he barely manages to stay alive. So what’s going on here, who set them up? It’s hard to find out because Captain Stevens on the police force is blaming Sean for everything so Sean quits. He isn’t able to stay out of the situation for long though as his partner’s girlfriend is murdered after calling Sean about a lead she had. Now Sean will have to team up with her father James who happens to have been his old coach. Can they uncover the truth behind all of this?

If it was just a matter of beating everyone up then that would certainly be easier but the main problem here is actually figuring out who the big villain is first. There are a lot of players involved so you can bet that there are a ton of coverups and misdirects as well. Sean gets lucky more times than not. He’s a great fighter but I wouldn’t call him a detective so it’s fortunate that Linda and her colleague Heather managed to pick up most of the pieces. Linda even came close to escaping but unfortunately let her guard down at the end.

As the main hero I would say Sean is a solid main character. It can be annoying how he gets knocked out at times but since most of the movie is about him absolutely dominating whole squads of villains I can let it slide. The one point in particular that made me shake my head though was when he was face to face with the guy who murdered Linda and then allowed himself to be downed in a single blow. You just can’t let that kind of thing happen to you. Otherwise I did enjoy all of the fight scenes. The movie did a good job with the choreography and showing how Sean was just on a completely different level.

At the same time he loses some points for not treating the situation with the level of urgency that you would expect here. There are murders going on and everything is real shady right now yet he has time for a romance? The romance here feels really rushed, forced, and unnecessary as you’d expect. There’s just no room for that right now and it would have been better if that was something that could have been a plot to be started as the credits roll. “The danger is over and the world is saved, now we can discuss the future.” Something like that would be completely reasonable.

So the same is true for Heather and even more so in a way because she’s currently being targeted by the villains and unlike Sean, it’s not like she can fight. They already broke into her house once early on so she needs to keep her priorities straight. One guy who is not good about priorities has to be Captain Stevens. I did think he handled the whole situation poorly at the beginning with being so hard on Sean when the operation fumbled. I don’t know how he actually figured he could blame it on the lead. His reasoning was shaky at best.

To an extent I think it’s because the film was trying to convince us that maybe he was the murderer. A nice attempt I suppose but you have to handle that with a little more subtlety otherwise he’s just unreasonable. James was a unique character because at first you figure he’s going to be the tough mentor type character who is always ready for action but instead he spends every scene getting absolutely humiliated. The guy loses almost all of his fights but still talks tough afterwards. After a point it’s clear that he is a comedic character so that helps but at first I was definitely astonished.

In a way it’s realistic though as you probably can’t fight so well when you’re really old despite what most films would have you believe. So I was not expecting the character’s story to play out the way that it did but it worked out well enough. Again, maybe he should be taking things a little more seriously considering what happened to his daughter but after a point you have to just decide if you can roll with the fact that the movie is going for a light comedic tone to offset the dark moments or not. I think some of the scenes could have been timed better but ultimately I was mainly okay with it.

Ultimately the actual main villain here is okay but more on the forgettable side. He can’t fight or anything and has to rely on the hired help to save the day. That doesn’t go so well for him once Sean enters the building and it’s why you always want to be able to fight. He does have the classic hostage trip at the ready which is a decent equalizer but in the end that will usually just stall for time. His right hand man is fun enough as well. The guy is fairly unassuming but can fire a gun as well.

The movie’s twists work well enough. There’s enough to keep you guessing the whole time. The story itself was okay but I couldn’t really get into it a ton. You have drugs being moved and conspiracies and all but it felt more like the basic outline of a plot to start up the fights rather than it being fully developed. Like if the villains didn’t make so many large moves then they may not have been in so much trouble. Kidnapping Linda would have bought them way more time than murdering her. Since they had a mole within the police they could have made so many more moves over time rather than waiting until the end. There were limitless opportunities to bump off Sean quietly as well.

Ultimately it feels like one of those movies that isn’t as clever as it thinks that it is the more you actually think about it. I imagine you’re mainly here for the fights anyway though which are fun but I would have liked something more to support it. The film also didn’t sell me on the various flashbacks we would get every now and again to show Sean’s rage at losing his partner. It felt a bit overplayed by the end and just wasn’t as effective as it could have been. Throw in the fanservice romance scenes and this film doesn’t stand the test of time.

Overall, It’s not a bad movie but I wouldn’t say it’s very good either. It’s a forgettable thriller amidst a genre that is filled with many better ones. The revenge genre can be hit or miss depending on how edgy the writers want to approach it. This time they decided to take a more upbeat approach which is interesting but it does make Sean look a bit like a jerk at times. There are some liens that I found to be pretty funny during the movie though. It had a good sense of humor and the fights did live up to the hype. So in the end I would say to check it out if you really like a good battle but the story leaves much to be desired.

Overall 5/10

Apology for Murder Review

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It’s time for a very old school noir mystery thriller type of film. This is one of those titles where you probably won’t have much sympathy for the guy who is being strung along since he ultimately makes all of the wrong choices. So you’re waiting for the cops to nab them. It’s a good film with solid pacing and so you’ll have fun here. It’s also fairly short so it finishes quickly.

The movie starts off with explaining to us that Toni and her husband are not on good terms. She married him for the money and he finally figured this out. It’s a pretty rough deal for the guy who is already busy enough as it is trying to get richer. Toni decides to enlist the help of a guy named Kenny by promising to love him forever. So the guy murders her husband for her and now Toni just has to dump the guy and move on. The thing is, the cops have found out about the murder and Kenny is dangerously close to losing his nerve. Particularly since his boss is the one investigating the case and always gets his man. Is Toni going to have to extend the body count a little?

So the reason you can’t feel bad for Kenny here is because he did flat out murder her husband so that makes him a villain right from the jump. No matter what happens after that, no normal person would just go and commit murder like this. Second of all, Toni was still married and Kenny knew it so getting together with her is a big no no. The guy is then willing to let an innocent person be stuck with the murder rap instead of him. So what this all boils down to is a super selfish guy who will do whatever he needs to in order to get what he wants. Not exactly a hero right?

Not even close to one! Especially since if Toni had actually turned out to like him, he would have really had no regrets. Everything that happens later on is really because she’s not very smart about picking her moments and also isn’t great at playing pretend. If she just kept up the act even to the very minimum of assuring Kenny that she couldn’t wait for them to run off together then she would have been good. Instead she basically tells him to his face every time that she only cares about the money.

Even then Kenny doesn’t really do anything about this until he actually sees her with another man but anyone who at least had a little respect for himself would have made a move well before then so she really got lucky here. Kenny just doesn’t have any real smarts about him and so you’re waiting for his downfall. Naturally Toni’s just a bad here. Aside from being really bad at manipulating everyone, she is the true brains behind the operation. In that respect you could definitely say that she is the biggest villain of the bunch. Without her a lot of these things wouldn’t have happened in the first place and it goes without saying that she is very unrepentant about the whole thing.

The best character here by far is McKee. The guy tries hard to get to the truth of things the whole time and never stops even when Kenny keeps throwing subtle digs at the guy. It does take him a while to realize exactly what’s going on but in part it’s because he was hoping to find a different answer so you can’t really blame him. He was still the most useful member of the cast by far and did good work.

The writing in the film is pretty good overall. Even if most of the characters can be really annoying, I wouldn’t call that bad writing. It just means that those characters are suckers the whole time and that can happen in real life too which is why it can be realistic. Toni was certainly able to bend a lot of her guys to her will, it’s rather depressing when you think about it but a reminder to always be careful that you are of sound mind when making a big decision. Also if someone tells you to commit a crime like murder, it’s a good idea not to do that.

As mentioned the film is really short which is also why the cast is so small. It’s a bit over an hour so that’s enough time to get the murder in and then jump us to the after effects. A good chunk of it is about McKee getting closer and closer to the truth while Kenny tries to slow things down or just generally panics some more. It’s a solid game of cat and mouse there. If it was longer maybe we could have thrown in a few more characters but the balance works well enough. It won’t rise up to become one of the top Noir titles or anything like that but it is engaging the whole time and made for a good watch.

Overall, I’d call this a fairly safe Noir title. It has a compelling story but isn’t really taking any risks. There aren’t really any twists to worry about this time and the story plays out in a surprisingly straight forward manor. Probably the most straight forward that I’ve seen in the genre. I’d say this probably does make it have less rewatch value than another title but on that initial watch I don’t see you having any issues. I’m not totally sure I get what the title was going for though, I would have probably picked something else to draw in the crowds.

Overall 7/10

Bloodfist II Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

All right it’s time to jump back into the world of Bloodfist! I have to say it’s impressive just how different this film is from the first one. It may as well not even be a sequel to be honest since it laughs in the face of the first one with Jake’s character development but hey that’s how it goes right? It definitely makes its share of mistakes and so it won’t be another film to be remembered.

The movie starts with Jake winning a big tournament but he murdered his opponent and so he retires from fighting. He has now fallen into all of the vices including paying a lady of the night when he gets a call from an old friend who’s in a jam. He hasn’t seen this guy in ages and the call is the shadiest thing I’ve ever seen so Jake quickly decides to come along where he is beaten up by a group of thugs. He has been kidnapped along with a bunch of the world’s strongest fighters. They are all being taken to an island to fight against humans who have been enhanced with a drug that prevents them from feeling pain while also increasing their physical abilities. Can Jake get out of this or is he doomed?

All right the most disappointing thing here is the fact that the concept for the story is really good! You can’t help but get hyped for something like this because it guarantees a whole lot of action. It’s a classic case of skills vs physical abilities here. These guys may be amped up but the main characters have the edge in fighting technique which you would assume would be enough to take the lead. The problem is breaking the habit of stopping once you have your opponent down because you need to finish them off.

The actual tournament is pretty fun although I think it could have been a bit more balanced. For the most part just about all of the heroes were getting completely destroyed by the fighters and I’m not sure how much I buy that. I get that these guys weren’t rookies or anything but the top level pros should have done a lot better. The place is rigged of course so the winners would quickly get jumped and pummeled by everyone but that should have been necessary more times than it was.

Of course the film does get quite violent here with each fighter meeting rather painful ends. There are more survivors than I expected there to be which is a silver lining for the heroes but yeah they get put through the wringer. At least I don’t question why they would enter such a tournament this time since they were all forced into it. It’s the best explanation for why you would enter a tournament where almost everyone is guaranteed to be murdered. Also since it’s life or death, characters do grab guns and whatever they can which absolutely makes sense. Why stick to hand to hand when the whole thing is rigged anyway right?

One of the plots where the film drops the ball is with Mariella though. So she is the daughter of the main villain and gets beaten up whenever a setback happens. It’s really explained to us quite vividly that her life here is awful and filled with abuse. So you’d expect she wouldn’t have any sympathy for the villains right? Like I can get her betraying the heroes since she is afraid of what will happen if they lose but if the villains go down then that’s fine right? Instead she actually seems concerned and saddened by what happens to the main villain and you’re just shaking your head.

She should be absolutely cheering by that point. He had her publicly beaten and humiliated and yet she isn’t filled with anger at what’s going on? We also find out that she can fight later on around the mid point of the film which would have really helped her in a lot of the early scenes….yeah the writing here wasn’t great to say the least. Most of the villains are also annoying and can’t really fight. They just use their status and cheap shots to beat everyone up.

The strongest fighter was probably the traitor Vinny who also only got as far as he did due to cheap shots. In a fair fight he was not going to stand a chance against Jake and he knew it. Jake could be annoying here as well though because the guy is clearly a top tier fighter but falls for the easiest traps imaginable. At one point he is warned numerous times that Vinny is evil which should have been absolutely obvious from the jump, but at least when he realized that the whole phone call was a ruse right?

Well somehow he doesn’t put the pieces together and loses in the most sucker punch-ish way possible. He just turns the corner and gets knocked out. It’s not the only time he gets beaten up either and even when he’s winning, Jake doesn’t push the advantage and runs off. It’s all just pretty annoying because with his skill level he should be doing way better. By the time he gets serious, a ton of characters have already died. It’s an odd case where you don’t feel like he’s in a ton of danger most of the time and yet you know that everyone around him is doomed because he won’t do anything.

You definitely get Mortal Kombat vibes from the film and can see the potential but it just didn’t work. I’d also argue the film could have stood to have started the tournament earlier so that way there is time for more of the heroes to win one round before they get taken out by the higher ranking fighters. I haven’t seen a ton of team vs team films in the martial arts genre yet so that would have been a lot of fun but it’s relegated to the end. I will say that the fights have at least improved since the first film though. The film definitely gets that credit at least.

Overall, Bloodfist II has some fun ideas but still holds itself back. The random scene of Jake having an affair while he is down in the dumps was wildly bad but once we get on the island we get a lot of fights. The main heroine’s plot is fumbled though and we needed more battles. As with the first film, it will scratch the itch of being a solid action film with a lot of fighting but there’s not much beyond that and ultimately I would say you’ll want to pick a different movie to watch instead. For now this is still not touching Mortal Kombat which is the golden standard for tournament films. We need more titles like that.

Overall 4/10

Bloodfist Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Time for one of those action packed martial art films! Bloodfist has some good moments to be sure and while the action scenes aren’t quite as dynamic as a lot of the other action titles I’ve seen, they work well enough. The main problem here really just comes from the fact that the film tends to get distracted by other elements which are not even needed.

The movie starts with one guy preparing to throw a fight as expected but his opponent is just rubbing it in too much. This causes the fighter to stop holding back and he claims victory. Unfortunately the mafia don’t like that and so after he leaves the venue, drunk and out of sorts…he is quickly overwhelmed in a fight and murdered. We then cut to his brother Jake who finds out about this and decides to avenge him. The local cops are not very helpful but a guy named Kwong explains that there is a big tournament coming up and if Jake enters he will be able to fight the murderer.

Jake is already a strong fighter but is he really able to handle this? Kwong will train him but is not thrilled with Jake constantly getting distracted by all his flirting with Nancy. Kwong tells him time and time again that this will weaken Jake but he doesn’t care. Unfortunately this is easily the weakest part of the film. Jake is here to avenge his brother so it’s true that he really doesn’t have time to be messing around like this. Shouldn’t he be focused on training to the max and winning? Everything else can come in afterwards.

The romance scenes just drag on and on. Additionally the film is going for easy clicks with fanservice scenes that kept the TV censors pretty busy the whole time. These moments don’t add to the film at all and are clearly just here for those reasons. Once we get to the fights then at least there’s more to focus on. Now the film does get extremely predictable by this point. You know that Jake’s friend Baby is absolutely going to get wrecked in the fight but the film decides to go a little extra and make things rough for his girlfriend as well. The worst part is it’s partially Jake’s fault that she gets taken out when he jumps in to de-escalate things.

In this tournament nobody cares about murder or anything like that so it’s not like Chin Woo is disqualified or anything. It just reminds you how crazy all of the characters have to be to even think about entering this thing. You’re putting yourself in a position where the villain can legally torture you. Even if you’re absolutely fanatical about fighting this seems like a really bad idea to me. The film definitely does get rather violent during the matches. Not always in a bloody way to be honest but sometimes just with the explicit bone snapping and extra hits after the fight was already over.

You can definitely feel the pain there. Chin Woo is a very generic main villain though. The guy is strong and ruthless…but that’s about the only character traits to the guy. The film didn’t bother giving him more than that and I guess I don’t blame the title because there wouldn’t be much reason to do so. Most of the characters here are on the two dimensional side. They’re filling out classic character traits to keep the story moving. Nancy is basically just the love interest, Baby is the friend who will inevitably be crushed, Jake is the MC, etc.

The only one who actually has a lot of depth to him is Kwong. The film handles him really well and his role is bigger than you’d expect. He’s not just the old mentor who is super good at fighting and always ready to train a new fighter. This guy is very important and active in the story which was a good idea on the film’s part. I’d even go as far as to say that Kwong is a highlight in the title overall and helps to enhance the movie. You definitely couldn’t say that about just anyone.

Bloodfist also has a really good climax. I dare say that it even tops the actual final battle of the tournament both in choreography as well as location. It just feels like more of a true fight and I always like when the fighters take the battle out of the ring by the end. As I mentioned earlier, the fights aren’t exactly top tier despite the true skills of the actors. It doesn’t have the right camera angles and dynamics to take things to the next level. That said, they are still good fights and there is a good amount of them. If you take away the subplot romance and the extra fanservice scenes then this film would have actually been a good one.

There’s just no reason to go to the strip club and it’s a sign that the writers were not confident in their own abilities. I’d also argue that the writing holds things back a bit like Jake not always acting as urgently as he should be considering the stakes. So this will always be in the shadow of better fighting films like Mortal Kombat and Rocky. I don’t see this one quite becoming as well known or making a comeback. It was big enough to get a bunch of sequels of course but it’s not a true A tier contender.

Overall, If you like action and want to see a bunch of fights then you should check this one out. It is very straight forward about including a ton of action and what you see is what you get. It’s not trying to do anything fancy and the execution isn’t great but I could see it fitting the bill if you just want some action. Unfortunately for Bloodfist there are just way too many other action films to check out if I wanted a quality action film. So I have to give this one a thumbs down and keep it moving. We’ll see how the sequel fares.

Overall 4/10

The Evil of Frankenstein Review

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Well this film is definitely back to what you expect to see when you watch a Frankenstein film and I mean that in all the worst ways possible. The writing makes no sense and everyone is out of character. I won’t even talk about the continuity since this just ignores everything anyway but I don’t get why this is such a downgrade. In the last film Frankenstein was a stable genius but in this one he just looks like a sucker who has no idea what to do. He has fallen so far that it’s crazy. He really is a different character here.

The movie starts with Frankenstein being sloppy so he and Hans are run out of town. They manage to escape to a small circus where nobody recognizes them but Frankenstein is saddened to learn that his old home has been completely looted and the local guy in charge has taken all of his possessions. Frankenstein makes a big scene so now the cops are aware that he’s here. He does some more running and confronts the guy again only for the cops to defeat him once more. A local girl saves him and that’s when it turns out that the monster is still alive and just trapped in ice. Frankenstein frees him and uses a local hypnotist named Zoltan to wake the beast up. The problem? Zoltan now has full control of the monster. Frankenstein really messed up this time.

A lot of my issues just come from the fact that Frankenstein is no longer a genius at all. He makes the absolute worst mistakes over and over and over again and there’s no reason for it. Why make such a big deal about his material possessions and his ring? I guarantee that the old Frankenstein didn’t care about these things. He was cold and calculating, not overly emotional like this guy is. He continues sabotaging himself for the whole film and looks so bad. I also can’t stress enough how bad it was for him to be getting blackmailed by Zoltan.

Zoltan is a drunk who was being kicked out by the cops and he’s overwhelming Frankenstein?? Come onnnnnnnn. The fact that Frankenstein didn’t see this coming is also pretty bad since he saw Zoltan in action earlier. He knows exactly how hypnotism works so then he should have known that the monster would be listening to him. So Frankenstein really brings down the film quite a bit. His partner Hans also seems rather useless in this film. In the last one he had enough intelligence to hold his own with Frankenstein but in this case that’s no longer impressive since they have both fallen so far.

The girl was a reasonable character that you actually felt bad for. She definitely had a hard life and I don’t totally get what the purpose of her character was. She ends up helping Frankenstein a whole lot by taking him to the cave where he found the monster…but why was she really here? It felt like the film wasn’t even sure and in a way I guess you may be wondering why it matters. She is in the film so it doesn’t really matter why she’s there right? I guess I just can’t put my finger on it but she felt like a character who had a bigger role in the script and scenes got cut out of something. I dunno maybe that’s just me.

Meanwhile Zoltan is not one of the better villains. The guy gets control over a monster and the first thing he thinks to do is send it into town to steal money? Shouldn’t you be at least a little subtle about this? Once the cops start shooting and all then it’s going to be all over, monster or not. Use a little tact at least. Then the guy gets greedy and ultimately commands too much so it’s over for him. Yeah nobody’s very smart here. The smartest character was probably the head of the cops with how many times he caused Frankenstein to run away. I respected that guy.

For miscellaneous issues, the film reverts back to animal violence. Of course it does right? Why would we possibly need that….but yeah it’s pretty awful. We see the monster eating animals and then Frankenstein runs in front of a gun and gets shot. I’m telling you he looked soooo bad in this film. I also don’t think it was necessary to get such a large rewritten flashback of the original film. I think the writers knew that the current story didn’t have enough depth to it for a feature length presentation but then in that case maybe make a whole different plot? Cmonnnnnnnn.

Okay let me cut the film a little slack. We don’t get much of the body horror this time with limbs being taken off and all of that. So we’re trading poisons a bit and in that case I’ll take this poison over the other one. That’s pretty much all the solace I can give at this point. There just isn’t much I can say about the film at all in terms of positives. It’s not interesting and this time we don’t have the good writing from the last film. It basically ditched everything that at least made the franchise salvageable. It’s one of the weakest films I would say completely. The first film is still worse with the kid getting brutally murdered but that’s a low bar to match.

Overall, This film had no real thinking behind it. It fumbled the ball almost immediately and just could not be saved after a point. The film annoyed me just looking at it and that’s saying something. It just kept on going from bad to worse and the worst part is that a good amount of it could have been improved if Frankenstein at least looked decent. Sure, it would still have a bad score but at least the film would have had something to support it. Without even a decent main character it was doomed from the start. I definitely recommend staying far away from this film. Frankenstein films are definitely well over the hill.

Overall 1/10

The Revenge of Frankenstein Review

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It’s time for the return of Frankenstein! I have to say that this one is marginally better than most of the previous films in the franchise. Not to say it’s a good film or anything because of course that’s not the case but yeah it definitely beats some of the others because we don’t have the classic monster here. Instead we have Frankenstein styling on everyone and the film mainly just has to get around its rather violent body horror type moments and new monster. Oh…so yeah I guess it was doomed anyway.

The movie starts off with not explaining how Frankenstein escaped his impending death at the guillotine. He escaped to a remote town where he practices as a doctor and does rather well at it. So well in fact that the illuminati of scientists have been unable to shut him down or force him to join their cabal. This means they are constantly upset but one young doctor realizes that this new practitioner is the legendary Frankenstein. He blackmails the main character into accepting him as a sidekick and both are super wary of the other. Still they make for a good team and Frankenstein lets Hans know of his plot to transfer Karl’s brain into a new body. Karl is a hunchback with an arm that doesn’t work well and this transfer will prove what a genius Frankenstein is. Karl is also on board so it’s not a secret or anything. The only possible obstacle is a girl named Margaret who basically forces herself into being a nurse/assistant at the clinic. Will she end up destroying everything?

All right lets talk about some of the good aspects of the movie first. For starters I actually think that Frankenstein himself is a really good character for once. The guy is actually engaging and entertaining. He is always a few steps ahead of the other characters and I like how rude the guy is. He straight up doesn’t care what the other characters think of him and is just determined to keep making advances in science. He’s not dumb about it either. The guy legitimately became the best doctor in the land with a ton of valid surgeries and operations so that he could subtly take a few extra limbs here and there for his experiments.

Everyone respects him outside of the council and nobody except Hans ever suspected a thing. He holds his own in all of the questionnaires until the end and so for once he actually did feel like a full genius. I also liked the tension between him and Hans the whole time. They’re both basically villains here who are willing to use each other and so they each have to watch their backs. It made for a pretty good dynamic the whole time. I tend to really enjoy reluctant partnerships like that.

Hans may have been a little out of his depth but he was a solid character too. The guy stayed his ground even through the obvious threats that Frankenstein tossed his way. Not just anyone could have done that. Also Karl was good at least until he started to lose his mind. The guy has been through a lot and was willing to do what he needed to do in order to improve himself. I mean he is playing along with this whole scheme that he had to know was sinister so I am by no means calling him a hero or anything. He definitely shouldn’t carry that moniker but he was a character you could really feel bad for the whole time.

Margaret was a character who was much less sympathetic. It felt like she was really throwing herself into trouble the whole time and had no reason to really do so. I mean the film makes it clear why she wanted to jump in but yeah she definitely was not doing herself any favors here. I suppose she at least means well later on like when helping Karl out but ultimately even then she sets everything back a bit and is just responsible for more carnage and destruction.

The movie certainly had better writing and more thrills than most films in the franchise but this is about where the positives start to end. For the negatives we have the usual here. The film can get rather violent once Karl is actually a monster and starts to destroy everyone. We learn that the transfer has the side effect of making its victims turn into cannibals so you can probably guess how that goes. The worst part is that Karl wasn’t even that bad at first but then we get an over eager security guy who starts beating him up which triggers the transformation. The whole scene felt rather forced to be honest.

We also have all of the body parts lying around that the film puts a whole lot of detail into. It’s definitely pretty gross to see them all just lying around and the film does not look away when it comes time for the operations. I’d even say that the film is practically gloating about this because the scenes did not need to be nearly as long as they were. It’s not like they really add anything to the film since by that point we already know what’s going on.

As a final note I will say that the film’s ending is really solid though. I was not really expecting that and yet it does make a lot of sense in hindsight. It’s another moment that makes Frankenstein look like a genius while also buffing another character. Unfortunately the next film would not follow in this one’s footsteps which was a massive mistake as it starts to sink all the way down again but we’ll go more into that later on.

Overall, This is a film that I would not recommend. Yes it is better than the average Frankenstein title as focusing on the scientist over the monster was a superb idea. Any scene with him talking to the doctors tends to be really good. I also liked the really smug custodian. I didn’t talk about him much but the guy also seems to be a few steps ahead of the others. There’s just a lot of really strong character interactions everywhere. They aren’t enough to save the film once it enters the second half with all of the monster action but it is enough to be memorable and still give me some positive things to say about it.

Overall 3/10

Children of Men Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a dystopia film with the end of the world approaching but not due to some kind of giant twister or meteorite attack. No, this time it’s because the world just isn’t generating new humans anymore and so that’s an interesting take but this is more of a dreary kind of adventure as opposed to a thrilling escape film on trying to find a way to survive. It brings up some interesting ideas but ultimately couldn’t quite turn the corner.

The movie starts off by explaining the plot. At some point women stopped being able to get pregnant and the cause of this was unknown. It could have been anything from radiation, vaccines, just a natural end to this cycle, etc. Regardless of the cause, that means humanity will slowly begin dying out soon. Just about every country on the planet has fallen except for the United Kingdom and so there is a huge immigration issue. Everyone wants to go there and so they have basically shut the kingdom off and all immigrants are basically treated like slaves.

The film centers around Theo who has a fairly good job and likes to keep things low key. He stays out of the media and plays along with what people consider to be big events like the world’s youngest person dying but he doesn’t really care about any of that. One day he is kidnapped by his wife or ex-wife…I forget if they had split up or not officially but she is now a high ranking member of a terrorist organization. Why does she want him? Well there is a girl named Kee that they are trying to protect and they need Theo’s help. She doesn’t actually trust the other terrorists so he is her absolute last resort play. Theo doesn’t want to help but circumstances basically force him into the picture. Can he protect her?

Theo doesn’t exactly have much combat training or anything so it won’t be easy. Additionally, there is a specific reason why Kee is a super big priority target for just about every force on the planet. There are tons of people who want her for both good and bad reasons. That means there is now a big target on Theo’s back. He does suggest at one point that they should turn themselves in but this is the only area where I have to agree with the villains in thinking that this is a bad idea. I have no doubt that she would immediately be experimented on and would effectively lose her freedom/life in short order.

There are no great solutions to this though. One idea is keeping her in hiding for say 10-20 years so you can show off certain results with a bit more safety also in hopes that other people appear or you make her a central figurehead for the terrorist group from a safe location. I’m not sure exactly where would be considered safe at this point though and even if it appears to be for a good cause…I don’t think anybody would want to be the figure head for a terrorist group.

As with most of the dilemmas in this film, your only choices tend to be bad or worse. Theo has one real friend in the film who is an old guy trying to take care of his sickly wife and from the jump with this kind of film you know that’s not going to go over very well. I don’t even get the logic of his final scene. The guy was super prepared for everything including poison pills and lots of other kinds of things so at least he wouldn’t be captured and tortured. There is even a plot element to this involving the past which explains why he would want to be wary of such a thing. Yet when his time comes, he only gives two others the poison pills and doesn’t take any safe guards for himself. If anything he actually gets off really lucky here comparatively speaking.

Aside from making things rougher on Theo this just didn’t make sense. There are lots of scenes in the film that are pretty much here to remind you how bad the world has gotten. People are being led up to a firing squad, the whole being tortured as a backstory, we see the bad living conditions, everyone starts dying near the end, etc. Even with the ending I wouldn’t exactly say it’s a very positive one. You have to assume that while things may get marginally better later on, they may not.

In a way the whole film follows this theme of hopelessness. At the end of the day no matter what the characters choose to do, they’re all going to die soon. There is no saving the world or some big enemy to defeat. Every person who gets murdered during this adventure is just one person leaving early but everyone will eventually be dying with no heirs to continue. The first half of the film is much more interesting in that sense though as it’s interesting to see what happens but once we enter the thriller aspects it’s ironically not as engaging. It’s more of a classic everyone getting shot and running through the destroyed towns but it’s all rather gritty and not meant to be very fun. Everyone’s constantly in pain and the film does give us a rather long birthing scene which makes sense as it could be the last one ever seen but I’d still have rather that had beem off screen as it always looks and sounds so painful.

Meanwhile the ending only holds hope for the world if the circumstances with Kee can be reproduced. If they are unable to figure that out then it won’t matter. Even if they do figure it out, if the circumstances are not practical then it won’t matter there either. So there’s a lot of ways this could go sideways and only a few possible positive routes. Personally I don’t see it working out, the world is way too far gone. At this point even if things do start to turn, society itself may as well be collapsed.

Theo isn’t a particularly good main character either way. The guy comes across as selfish and it takes a whole long time for him to get on board. He doesn’t care about much which is fine but it also means that it basically takes the most extreme of circumstances to get him to do anything like a lot of money. I can’t say I was a big fan of Julian either though. She feels a bit manipulative. It doesn’t look like she actually likes Theo all that much but was just using him for her own means which was risky in itself.

Kee was a good character. She was really thrown into a really tricky situation and did her best but this was probably the roughest for her in a lot of ways. When you’re just trying to survive but going through an ordeal nobody even knows about, that has to be pretty rough. Then we have Luke who is one of the more interesting characters. Definitely the kind of guy who can really turn on a dime though so you can’t really trust him at all. The guy shows some warning signs right out of the gate and they only get worse. From his point of view it probably all seems worth it like he has to do it but there’s no way to really justify his actions.

The worst character would have to be Syd though because in the end he’s just a really greedy guy who will absolutely turn on his own convictions for the right price. In a lot of ways he’s worse than someone like Luke who at least has a logic to his actions. I don’t believe that Luke could ever be bought by anyone while Syd is just too weak. The guy’s annoying because there were such high hopes for him.

Overall, I think Children of Men is a very interesting film. There are definitely many parts to it that feel really realistic and if the planet did ever enter a period where children could not be born anymore, I expect there would be massive chaos. It would be like knowing that everyone was going to die soon and not being able to do anything about it. Society absolutely would collapse and it’s a scary thing to think about. So while it is a very interesting writing prompt, it doesn’t work as well in a movie like this. It’s just more depressing than anything with no real breaks. It can get rather disturbing and even a little violent as well. I would have preferred a film that focused more on the societal impacts from the government’s point of view like a drama version of this without the thriller aspects. Even the most kind people would have a lot of things to worry about if they’re the youngest and know that nobody will be around to take care of them when they get old. So I don’t recommend the film but the plot is very unique and if you’re curious about diving in, the film has no shortage of traumatic imagery to present to you.

Overall 3/10