Tag Archives: Film Review

Final Destination 5 Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Final Destination is back once again to remind you that the heroes never stood a chance! This one at least ties back to the original compared to the last stand alone one but in the end it is a marginal victory at best. This is not the kind of film that is going to end up ranking for you at all as it is still suffering from all of the usual issues. It feels bad, but what can you do right? At least we do have a big fight scene here against an opponent who can actually be stopped.

The film starts off with Sam and his coworkers all heading into the company bus. Sam has been slacking off at work and his friend/supervisor Peter gives him a warning. Unfortunately they are all brutally murdered on the bridge as the whole thing collapses. Things were not supposed to go like this and so they all have regrets. Well, there was one survivor, Molly. Sam was able to save her at the last second but then he wakes up right before the accident happened. This time he saves a handful of them but the coroner shows up to remind them that Death’s going to slay them all one by one. Sam doesn’t want to die, but how can he stop it? The cast are given one clue, they can murder someone to switch destinies with but that would make them no matter than a common criminal. What should they do?

Now obviously this is Death’s rigged game so do you think murdering someone would actually let you off the hook? The film makes sure to answer that question and it should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone. The whole point of these films is that Death just wants an excuse to mess with a bunch of people for no real reason. The coroner acts like Death is upset but no it’s all part of the game and I bet this guy is in on it. I like how smug he always is as he warns the characters of their impending demise. Not because there’s some way for them to get out of this, but because there is no escape. They are doomed to all die violent deaths.

Poor Sam seems like a reasonable character. He’s not particularly noteworthy or anything but at least he’s trying to help out and do the right thing. I would argue that he can appear to be dangerously naive at times though. In particular the scene that calls out to me is when a drunk Peter appears at the entrance of his restaurant in the dead of night. This guy has been acting rather crazy and violent for a while now and you really think it’s a social call? Naturally it’s not and that takes us to the next life or death moment. It just feels like that’s a point where you need to already be ready to fight and he seemed shocked by the whole thing.

The same thing is true for Molly who is very slow to react to Peter’s long speech about those who don’t deserve death. It was pretty clear what he was driving at there but she didn’t put the pieces together. It’s the little things like this which meant that the heroes would have a harder time surviving. Sure, they can’t beat Death but perhaps they can at least beat the human antagonist running around right?

Of course I have no real sympathy for Peter. Yeah he got a raw deal with what happened to his girlfriend and it was particularly brutal but jumping into murdering other people is immediately a step too far. He needed to rage against the system, like find a way to defeat Death, not take it out on the other victims. He just went crazy too quickly. It’s not surprising and unfortunately it’s probably realistic that a good amount of people would do that but it certainly hurts him as a character.

As always the film has an issue with being over the top violent. All of the deaths are pretty intense and definitely are ones you will want to avoid if you aren’t big on violence. The deaths continue to do their best to top the previous films and while it’s hard to say if they succeed or not as it gets relative after a while, they certainly do their best. The special effects are certainly out there.

I will give the film credit for probably having the best of the shock endings. You sort of see where it’s going as soon as the scene starts out. I would argue that the main characters look a bit naive here. I was half expecting Sam to say something like: “Wow what’s wrong with that guy? Lol” Now granted, the film tries to spin it like he didn’t hear what the guy said but after what he’s just been through, he should be taking everything 100X more seriously than usual. Ultimately it would have been futile. I know that but you gotta try to last as long as you can in these things.

Overall, This is definitely another Final Destination film. There isn’t a whole lot to it story wise and while the characters are better than in the last one, I wouldn’t say that any of them are super likable either. My favorite would either be the cop or the manager who was working with him but both of them go out in rather unfortunate ways and you were rooting for them to be able to put the pieces together. Instead, they’re really just here to spin their wheels and not actually make any real progress. The sad thing is that you could cut them out of the film and literally nothing would change. They ultimately had no impact on the film which is a real shame. This could have been something for sequels to build off of.

Overall 1/10

The Final Destination Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another Final Destination film but unfortunately the series has yet to turn the corner and manage to deliver a solid experience. The films just don’t have much of a hook here since the heroes have no shot at winning and can only wait for their inevitable demise. At that point there just isn’t much left for you and it ends up being a film where you’re just waiting for everybody to meet with sudden and rather grim endings.

The movie starts with Nick and his friends at a Nascar event. It was supposed to be a fun time but they are all wiped out in a tragic accident. Fortunately this accident was actually just a dream of the future and so Nick is able to get a few people out in time. It’s seen as a miracle although some are upset that he didn’t save more people. Unfortunately what they are about to find out is that dying at the racetrack would have been the easier path. Death isn’t happy now and plans to make them pay for this with really prolonged deaths.

The films never make it super clear on who gives Nick the visions. Is it Death just to make things more fun or is there some kind of counter force trying to help out? I hope it’s the former just because if someone is trying to help, they’re doing a rather bad job of it. In most of the films it’s mentioned how Death isn’t happy when people escape his wrath so that would imply he’s not the one doing it but I choose to believe he’s just trolling. The other explanations just aren’t very satisfying.

As the main character Nick isn’t terrible but there really aren’t many likable characters here at all. Some of the other characters make him look good in comparison but he’s in a rather toxic friend group and that’s a red flag in itself. He does have the makings of a detective with how he is able to make large leaps to figure out what’s about to happen but it’s not like he’s ever able to make a difference. He can buy some time but at the end he realizes that he was playing right into Death’s hands either way. You can’t win a rigged game and so all of his efforts did not help.

The film is as violent as you’d expect with the films continually trying to top themselves. Each death is really dragged out to the max so they last forever although this does make it easier to avert your gaze for the moment of impact if you don’t really want to see it all. At the end of the day that is supposed to be the film’s appeal after all. The anticipation of the murder coming up and how intense it’ll be. So you’re out of the target audience right away if you’re not trying to see all that.

The film certainly puts a lot of budget into the special effects and it shows so I can give the film credit there. It would be nice if they could have sneaked in some good characters as well though. Hunt seems to pretty much be a bully the whole time and actively looks forward to seeing people get murdered which isn’t cool. Janet decides to deny the obvious truth that they’re all being hunted and stays in an area that would only speed up her death. The theater itself isn’t inherently dangerous but when everyone’s telling you to leave, it’s probably time to go. I guess at least she had one of the quicker deaths.

Then you’ve got the poor security guard who got roped into this and ultimately gives up, only for death to give him hope before taking it away. There was a mom who seemed nice enough but she isn’t spared either. At the end of the day, whether you’re a nice character or not, you’re going down all the same but it’s particularly rough for the characters who have no idea what is going on. I guess it’s not like that knowledge would help them out though.

There is just barely a plot here as the characters run in circles reacting to death other’s deaths until it is all over. The film does continue to leave us with a rather sudden ending though and they usually try to land a little dark humor here. I’m not sure if this one is completely going for that or not but it’s so sudden that it works either way. While it may not be super satisfying, it is expected and was handled better than expected. At least the X ray vision helps to make things a little less violent.

Maybe if they put the whole film in x ray vision it would be better, although even then I don’t think it would be by a wide margin. The film would still come across as mean spirited and going too far out of its way to make every death as disturbing as possible. If the kills could at least be normal and quick it wouldn’t be as bad. Make it more of a thriller to stay alive and just tone down the slasher/horror elements. At least they’re so crazy that you won’t get paranoid about your every day appliances as you figure none of that can actually happen in real life.

Overall, Final Destination is not going to succeed in being a good film until it fundamentally changes something about how these titles play out. Whether it is in establishing a weakness for Death or in allowing some kind of other entity to show up and fight him, there needs to be more than just a long adventure about everyone dying in the end. Without more substance to the film, it just ends up being an overly violent, edgy mess. I’ll be reviewing the next film in the saga soon but needless to say, not much has changed.

Overall 1/10

El Vampiro Negro Review

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It’s time for one of those films where you’re desperately searching for a super heroic character the whole time but the cast continues to disappoint you. Even when there are children hanging in the balance, the characters cannot see past themselves and end up holding vital information. Yeah, you would not want to be in a city like that when a mass murderer is on the loose.

The film begins with a lady named Amalia noticing a mysterious man outside the window throwing a dead child’s body into the river. She panics and yells a lot but ultimately decides against telling the police. After all, that would get her involved in a whole mess and she can’t afford to have any controversies. She works at a questionable establishment after all and could lose custody of her child if the police were involved. We later find out that he is now known as The Black Vampire and is going on a murder spree as he only targets children. Can Bernard and the rest of the cops stop him?

Unfortunately Amalia does more than not telling the police, she actively lies and says that she saw nothing which only impedes the investigation. Bernard suspects that she is lying but there’s not a whole lot he can do about it. The cops lay out traps for this guy but he always manages to narrowly avoid them. The body count only rises from here and so the film is definitely a rather dreary one. The cops are simply too late for a while.

We do get the court trial scene which is actually how the film starts out. It definitely reminds you why a lot of people don’t take the insanity plea seriously. You can have a guy mass murdering kids but then pleading insanity? I just don’t see how that’s relevant, if he’s so crazy that he can’t help but constantly commit murders, then you have to put him out of his misery or it will only continue. Fortunately, the jury was ready but you can find it a bit absurd that a trial like this would even go to court.

Now at least you could have had the cops to root for but the movie goes out of its way to make Bernard unlikable. So his wife had an injury a while back so that she can no longer walk and she feels bad about this because he has really been keeping her out of his life. She does her best to help out but he just completely shuns her and tries to say that they’re as close as ever. It could have been a decent plot as perhaps she is imagining part of this and he’s also overcorrecting which is causing more issues. That would have been fine but instead we find out that he isn’t actually content.

The guy isn’t man enough to deal with the situation and attempts to blackmail Amalia into having an affair with him. That instantly makes him an absolutely despicable character and the issue is that the film had absolutely no reason to add this plot in. Maybe they were trying for some kind of parallel with the villain in that Bernard could not control himself? If that was the case then I have to say it was another absolute miss here. The film already had one big villain, we certainly didn’t need anymore.

Any villain who goes after kids is already spineless but the film also shows that by day the vampire cowers to everyone. He has to go after children because he’s basically terrified and outnumbered by the adults. He pays money just to stare at a lady since he doesn’t dare actually ask her out or do anything. She just laughs in his face and it traumatizes him further to the point where he goes back to attacking children. Definitely nothing to appreciate about this villain.

It was nice to see the homeless band together to help put a stop to him in the end but it definitely took a while to get there. For a film like this, it’s already at a disadvantage with bumping off kids since that is going a bit far for any film. It continues to fall back even further when you mix in the fact that the villain gets away with so much. If there were less victims and the heroes would stop him right away then that would have helped. Probably wouldn’t be enough to save the film or anything like that but it would be an improvement.

Really the best way to handle this would have been for it to have stayed in the courtroom. Have the characters describe what happened without showing us and then let the audience decide if the villain seems guilty or not. When you’re seeing the scenes in motion, there is no way to vote for anything but the death penalty. If it’s the prosecutor and defense arguing the whole time, perhaps it could open up the possibility that one of them is exaggerating or someone is lying a bit. Either way it would make things a bit more ambiguous and the film would also be more interesting since I love a good trial. It would fundamentally be a different movie though.

Overall, The Black Vampire is a pretty bad film. I’d say it just isn’t able to clear the hurdle of having both an unlikable main character and an unlikable villain. Throw in the film’s dreary atmosphere and you don’t have a winning combination. I suppose at least the soundtrack could be pretty decent here. A lot happier than you would expect though which could be a bit jarring at times. You would expect this film to have been really somber the whole time but instead you’re actually thrown a few happy tunes. Maybe that was the film trying to cut the tension in an odd way but yeah I’d say to skip this one.

Overall 3/10

The Lucky Texan Review

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John Wayne has returned for another big fight. This time his adventure will deal with gold and naturally includes those who would like to steal it as well. There is no rest for the weary and in the end what will really give him a hard time is his partner this time. At the end of the day, you are only as strong as your weakest link after all and so that can get tricky.

The film starts off by introducing us to Jerry and Grandy who end up bumping into a pile of gold. They are now going to be rich and so they decide not to stake a claim on it yet since that would mean that everybody would find out about it. Instead they sell off a little bit at a time to the nearby gold depository. The problem is that Harris and Cole run this shop and they have some big ideas to rob the heroes and get rich themselves. Jerry is good at losing a tale, but Grandy is older and not quite as wise in the ways of the world. This could get tricky.

The movie does a good job of covering a whole lot within these 55 minutes. It feels like something is always happening here and the pacing is good. The writing and script are also both very solid as always which will come as no surprise to anyone who has been watching the John Wayne films. These films have a good sense of humor while always providing action and this film is no exception to that rule. The only annoying character here will be Grandy because the whole time he will have you shaking your head. He falls for the easiest traps imaginable and just makes life a lot harder for all of them.

The villains are easily able to sucker him into signing the wrong paper and then he gets shot. Additionally, by the end of the film he has the perfect witness testimony to put them behind bars but wants to make a big show out of it which ends up backfiring. Someone trips him up and the villains escape again. The whole courtroom scene was pretty fun and I definitely saw the vision but with lives at stake, Grandy had to do better. These villains will stop at nothing in their quest to be rich.

Fortunately Jerry is always ready to claim victory and is really good at chasing his opponents down. One thing you will really come to admire about his character is how easy he makes it look. He just continues to outwit the opponents at every turn and even makes getting arrested look cool. He is constantly in charge of the situation and you would want nothing more from your main character.

The villains themselves are a bit forgettable but I do have to give them some points for being smart. Working at a shop that trades in gold is a great way to be in a position to steal some. I do wonder how they had enough money to be running the shop and having all of that cash on hand though. Surely if they are this well off then they don’t need to be living a life of crime right? I mean they could just be greedy but it was surprising to see that they had actually balanced out a real job for so long. That in itself could be a bit of a twist. If the villains had also not gotten too greedy, they probably would have won in the end since they kept on stealing Grady’s horses and were well trusted in the gold business. They could have just shorted the heroes on each transaction. After all, they had no idea what the gold was worth and that’s why they were asking the villains. Just give a fake number that’s maybe 70% legit each time and eventually you’d have a fortune as well. I guess these villains were not the smartest in the bunch after all.

Yes, there is a bit of a romance that shows up near the end of the film but it really comes out of nowhere and doesn’t really do much to enhance the experience. It’s here to check off a few boxes but that’s it. The film is strong for the fight scenes and everything, not for the romance. Fortunately when a film is good on all of the fundamentals, it doesn’t matter too much that the romance is weak. The film will still survive.

The special effects in the film definitely work well and on the whole if you like a classic hand to hand fight then you are in luck since the choreography is good. This is the kind of film that everybody can enjoy without any real issues. The more you enjoy it, the more you will probably wish that the runtime could have been longer though. Still, it’s long enough to give you a full self contained story. By the time you’re done with the film, you can definitely appreciate why a lot of the old heroes would fly solo in the wild west though. Less teammates means less weaknesses.

Overall, There isn’t much more to say about this one. If you have enjoyed the John Wayne titles then this will be another good one to add to the collection. It’s always fun to see the process of obtaining gold back in the day. The wild west was really a different time and nowadays even if you found some gold, good luck finding a place to convert it while trying to be inconspicuous. There aren’t many Wayne films left for me to check out on the shortlist but you can count on at least one more review showing up pretty soon.

Overall 7/10

How I Spent My Summer Vacation Review

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It’s time for a movie that really nails the balance between being a full on parody and still keeping in a lot of tension. It’s not the kind of movie that you can really underestimate and I dare say it is also a rare atmosphere. You don’t see films with this style of humor too often and they always tend to be a success. I highly recommend watching this film and, in a sense, the less you know about it, the more effective it will be.

The movie starts out with a newspaper requesting a very specific kind of person for their agency. A mysterious guy appears who calls himself Jack and he is apparently who they were looking for. See, these people want to ask him some questions about how he spent his summer vacation. This leads into the rest of the movie as we find out that Jack liked a girl named Nikki but her father Ned was always defeating him at every event they played. Defeating is actually a bit too mild when you think about it. He would go out of his way to absolutely crush him.

Jack felt like he simply wasn’t good enough for Nikki by the time they were through and he spent ages training to get better….or that was the plan anyway. Ned continues to crush him at everything and so Jack is feeling worse and worse. His only hope is that he has reason to believe that someone is blackmailing Ned. If this is true, Jack would finally have the upper hand for the first time in his life! This is absolutely his chance but will he just end up messing it up again?

The first way in which the film uses the humor well is in how absurd everything is. Ned isn’t just a master at every game ever but he is mega rich and was able to have a ship built that has the games contained within the walls. His staff are all paid off as well and continue messing with Jack whenever he thinks he has some evidence. Even Nikki appears to be in on it as she almost clearly has disdain for him but will play nice to get him off the trail.

That said, how much of this is real and how much is in his head? We know that the big situation has to be real thanks to how the film starts which is why the film should never start in the future but for the rest you have to decide just how paranoid he is. Jack has every reason to have cracked down after all since his life is extra stressful. Still, in any film like this the most important thing to do is not let yourself be gaslit. You have to believe in yourself no matter what.

As a main character, Jack is so wimpy that he loops all the way around to being likable. Everyone pushes him around and e really doesn’t have much of a spine for most of the film. So it’s easy to root for him as the underdog although I have to admit past a certain point I was rooting for Ned and then the final boss instead. To Jack’s credit, he does continue to improve over the course of the film. By the end he is actually really experienced and even manages to get some really good gadgets in. Some plot armor is ultimately still needed but he did show up when it counted.

The main heroine Nikki wasn’t particularly likable but in many ways that was the point. She didn’t feel very authentic and to a point you could say Jack lost sight of her and just wanted to win against Ned. Perhaps there was a time when she really liked him but that time just ended up passing. It would be very reasonable given how bad he looked for a good chunk of the movie.

Then we have Ned who is naturally a whole lot of fun. The guy is so smug and always messes with Jack. Yeah, even he has people that outrank him, but Ned isn’t going to just roll over. He’s got a whole lot of fight to him and that’s how you make it in the big leagues. Somehow he still feels in control even when being held at gunpoint. That’s when you know that the character has true aura.

The best character has to be the final boss though and I can’t really go into much detail on who he is. Lets just say that he is so intelligent that he can predict and see through a whole array of traps that nobody would reasonably have even set up. This guy is always 20 steps ahead and the final speech he gives was completely epic. I have rarely seen villains in a live action film have this much foresight. The whole scene was brilliant, it’s worth the price of admission alone. As good as the film as a whole was, the climax just makes it even better. Sure, the very ending is cheesy but the rest of the film was a lot of fun.

It would be hard for you to not enjoy this film because of how masterfully it was handled from start to finish. I think the only way you could set yourself up for disappointment would be if you go in expecting a super serious spy thriller. Although I would argue that the film makes its intentions known within the first few minutes so it would really be on you by that point. Don’t mistake the genre for the film not being serious about what it is doing though. The writing, characters, and script are all first rate. I really enjoyed the low key humor here and the pacing is also a lot of fun. This is also a great example of how to write a main character who is essentially a loser but still manages to be fun to watch. That’s something that can be difficult to do but this movie made it look easy.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. The climax was legendary and it’s really a blast. I highly recommend checking this film out whenever you have a chance. I guarantee that you won’t be forgetting it anytime soon. I’d be up for more titles like this, the main James Bond titles wish they were half as good as this one. If you’re going to make a spy film with a little humor thrown in, this should absolutely be the blueprint. You just can’t beat this!

Overall 7/10

Collide Review

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It’s time for a thriller but this one definitely isn’t going to be the next Taken. It has quite a few issues with the biggest one being the characters involved. I did like one of the villains but the film doesn’t use him as much as you would want. There was potential all around here, but ultimately I can see why nobody really talks about this film. It’s the kind of movie that just comes and goes with no real impact.

The film starts off by introducing us to Casey who works for a drug dealer. He basically does whatever the boss says. The job is certainly not a savory one but it pays the bills. His life feels rather empty though and he desperately wants a girlfriend. So while slumming it at the nearby bar, he noticed the bartender named Juliette. She agrees to become his girlfriend real quick if he just promises to give up the life of crime. He agrees…and surprisingly gets out of the business without being shot or killed. That’s a first. Well, it’s all going good until Juliette starts acting a bit extra crazy one snowy night but it’s not the cold that gets her…but a rare condition she has which involves a lot of seizures. She will be dead in a matter of weeks unless a really expensive operation can be performed on her. So Casey decides to go back to his old boss for one last job.

Naturally this job will be the toughest one yet since his boss Geran has been feuding with his boss Hagen. So he wants them to rob Hagen but the guy has a whole criminal network at his disposal and is also a lot smarter than Geran. Casey also realizes that this is likely a setup and so he decides to hatch a plan of his own. You’ve got 3 really big players running around here and of course the leverage against Casey will be simple. Whoever can capture Juliette, will have captured Casey.

The story itself is fairly straight forward so then it becomes all about the execution. Unfortunately this is where the film starts to fall flat. First off the romance is definitely weak. I appreciate the film showing that a lot of time has passed after they got together for their bond to be strong but those time jumps should have been used at the start. Instead of Juliette being convinced to be his girlfriend after a matter of minutes, make that part take weeks. It’s a rather simple fix and just like that you would have a compelling romance.

The film also goes out of its way to make both of the characters not all that likable. They’re the type of characters who are always getting drunk, going to suspect parties, and just don’t really seem like two people you’d generally get along with. Yeah Casey went straight for a while but working for the mob the way that he did, he’s certainly been involved in a lot of suspect stuff. You can write a solid anti hero but there just isn’t any real depth to the guy at all.

His big plan also revolves around the villains being absolute rookies at their own business. To stop the truck, they have to get the best hitman in the business to get out of the safety of the vehicle where they can knock him out. No way that should have happened but then it also revolves around the camera guy deciding to take a nap and not look at the truck for a few minutes. So that’s not a good plan, it’s just absolute plot armor at its finest.

I won’t fault Casey too hard for letting Juliette get captured since realistically there wouldn’t be much he could do about that but he does get the blame for the rest of the plan. Meanwhile his boss Geran is a little too quirky. He’s hard of hearing and constantly drunk. He doesn’t always make a lot of sense and yet he wants to be equal partners with the biggest crime lord on the planet? Yeah, I can see why Hagen doesn’t take him seriously.

Hagen is really the standout character here. I like how he just talks smack to Geran right to the guy’s face. He is absolutely confident that victory is around the corner and never falters. Hagen has a bit of a weak ending but for the most part he is always a few steps ahead. The last scenes just make him look sloppy, although I’d argue everyone looks sloppy there. When you’re a big crime lord, you’re probably not going to be going to a small diner without many escape routes unless you’ve either completely bought out the police or have a private army. It all just felt a little forced but I did enjoy the banter.

The best thing I can say about the film is that Hagen is so interesting that all of his scenes absolutely jump up a level. I love when a villain is really smug like this and he definitely made sure that the rest of the characters knew just how powerful he was. Now this does result in quite a bit of plot armor on his end too, but that’s just how these things go.

For example, at one point Casey runs into a small convenience shop and the villains chase him inside. The two owners both have guns and one of them is a really good shot. Despite this, they allow the villains to raise up their guns and fire. It’s probably the dumbest moment in the film. When an armed fighter runs into your shop, you need to fire quickly instead of waiting until they take their gun out. Obviously, the villains won’t hesitate so your hesitation will equal death.

Overall, Collide has a lot of action but not a whole lot of spirit. It’s going through the motions and could have been a solid emotional film but Casey and Juliette just aren’t likable enough to be convincing. The film’s got that Hollywood style of romance where there isn’t a whole lot of build up or getting to know each other as we jump straight to fanservice and action. It comes across as superficial and a single villain isn’t enough to hold this film up. You can do a lot better when it comes to action thrillers so I would say to skip this one.

Overall 4/10

Alligator II: The Mutation Review

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It’s time to see just how powerful an alligator can be! The first film was pretty terrible but maybe this one would be an improvement? I do think it was the better film although I ultimately still can’t say that it was a good one. The main problem is of course that with an evil alligator on the loose, you know that some animal violence will be soon to follow. The movie actually keeps itself a bit more tame than I would usually expect in this genre though so I will give it some credit here. Not a ton of credit mind you….but some.

The movie starts with two fishermen underestimating the terrors of the night as they are murdered by a giant alligator. This area has been heckled by the wealthy businessman named Vincent for a long while as he is trying to buy out all of the land and so they figure he had something to do with it. In a sense they’re right, but it’s not like they can prove it. So David decides to look into this as he’s used to doing things against the book as a cop. Unfortunately it’ll be difficult since Vincent has bought out the mayor and so now the cops are forced to be rather hands off. Vincent’s certainly not going to be of any help so David has to work with the rookie cop Rich in order to stop this threat. Meanwhile Vincent hires some pros of his own to do the job in the sneak. Which group will destroy the alligator first?

I guess corruption and evil millionaires are par for the course when it comes to these evil animal films. Vincent definitely carries himself well though. I appreciate all of the threats and he really did have the mayor cornered throughout the movie. Near the end he even managed to get him alone to finish the job. Vincent’s one of those villains who never let his guard down and by the end of the film it took quite a lot of people to defeat him. Most impressive I gotta say.

The mayor looked rather terrible throughout though. As soon as you let people blackmail you the way that he did, there is no way out. They’re just going to keep on doing it, over and over again until you are completely out of the running. I sort of expected that the mayor would do something but no, he just ended up staying scared all the way through to the end. His daughter Sherri had a lot more backbone as she was trying to fight against the injustice.

On the heroes side, we had the rookie cop, Rich. That guy wasn’t very good though. Letting himself get drunk is a terrible idea since a cop always needs to be ready. He also misses his shots when it counts so he’s not really the guy I would want to watch my back. He’s not a terrible character or anything but he is unreliable and that’s a really important factor in a mission like this.

David does well as the main cop. This is clearly not his first rodeo and he handles himself like an absolute professional. It’s what you would expect from the main character. He’s more concerned with justice than following the rules and that’s why he gets the job done. He has the respect of the people within the neighborhood for this same reason. The rest of the characters are definitely not able to catch him. Now the film does make it a point to show that he does take this a bit far to the point of obsession where he won’t be home much and that makes things tough on his wife and kid. He can probably find a better middle ground but at least he is getting results.

His wife also does well here as her scientist specialty helps her figure out different things like a possible weakness for the big alligator. It’s always nice to see both members of the main couple contributing like this. We also got some help from one of the local gator experts. He actually puts up a fight and lasts for a little while which is nice since initially his group was not looking very impressive at all. For a while there I was starting to think that they were all frauds.

The movie can’t avoid the animal violence in the end though as we do inevitably have to see the alligator get taken down. Additionally, it’s a shame for the gator since he doesn’t actually get a ton of screentime. Half the time when he’s eating people you aren’t really seeing him but at least his presence is felt throughout the movie. You may have been expecting a huge cliffhanger for this film like the first but surprisingly that’s not really the case.

The film also has a difficult time trying to make you buy into the main romance that is set up between the rookie and the mayor’s daughter here. I mean, finding the guy locked in the bathroom is not a great first impression and I would argue things only look worse for him from there. The main couple is already married which makes that romance a lot easier.

In the end I feel like the human plot was a lot more engaging than the animal stuff. I could have had fun with the whole thing being about Vincent trying to take over the neighborhood and shooting anyone in his way. He was clearly good at this and had the political power to pull this off. I’ll take the conspiracy stuff any day as opposed to the evil animal plot where the animal is really minding his own business and doesn’t want to fight. You feel bad for the creature.

Overall, Alligator II isn’t a whole lot of fun. It’s a decent adventure and another short film so the pacing is fine but it’s not really doing anything different with the creature. The alligator crawls around and looks menacing but that’s about it for most of the animal scenes. You are rooting for him to take down all the pesky humans invading his turf and it’s not nearly as bloody as something like Piranha. Still, the alligator is going to get stabbed and then blown to bits and you don’t want to see that. I’d recommend skipping this one. If you have to watch an evil animal film then it beats a lot of the alternatives, but it still doesn’t quite step into the realm of being a good movie.

Overall 3/10

Piranha (1995) Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for one of those films that feels like a waste of time. Why would you make a film that is essentially a 1-1 adaption of the original movie? If you’re going to do a remake of something, it should be with what you envision as improvements to the source material or perhaps just fixing a bunch of plot holes. When you just copy over most of the script and everything, it comes across as just plain lazy. Unfortunately it’s not like the original film was any good either.

The movie starts with two teenagers deciding to share some bad decisions as they jump into a body of water and get eaten by piranhas. This takes us over to Maggie who has been hired to find out what happened to them. This area is in the middle of nowhere so she asks for help from Paul, a guy who prefers to be apart from humanity and their crazy shenanigans. Well, that’s not in the cards now as the two of them discover a huge conspiracy involving government funding and powerful piranhas. Will they be able to stop these creatures?

Yeah if you saw the first film then you basically know how this one plays out. Mainly this one is just edgier the whole time but that’s about all it has to offer. The deaths all tend to be extremely violent and brutal. Additionally, the film has to resort to cheap fanservice on multiple occasions. It really has nothing to do with the story so this is just here because the writers are not confident in their own scripts to pull this off. Additionally, they don’t even bump off the creepy director as he somehow lives through the experience in one of the film’s few gag scenes. Bit of an odd choice.

Maggie is a decent main character. She may come off as a bit hostile to start the film but considering that there are potentially dead teenagers around, I get why she would not be in a particularly good mood here. She doesn’t do well in the opening action scene against Leticia but the same is true of Paul. That was actually a pretty decent fight as Leticia cleverly used the surroundings to her advantage and was easily dominating the 2 v 1. She just underestimated them in the end.

Leticia’s definitely not a great character though as she easily could have explained things instead of immediately entering a murderous rage. While her character arc is meant to end on a rather heroic note, it fell flat for me because it just didn’t make sense. Hopping into the water was a guaranteed death and they were better off trying to paddle a bit faster to the kid who was still on the surface. If anything they could have destroyed him accidentally by tipping it over.

Then we have Paul who is rather jaded and you could argue that the film proves him right here. He doesn’t care much for people and then he has to enter a world where there are giant cover ups and lots of corruption everywhere. It’s no wonder that he wanted to live on his own so he could at least try and avoid it. In the end, he did his best once it counted so he was fine as the reluctant hero type. Not a character that really stands out but he wasn’t bad.

Finally we have the main villain Randolph and I actually thought that they did a good job with him. This guy doesn’t play around and embodies being as evil as possible right from the jump. Not every character would be able to pull that off after all. Yeah he’s a bit cheesy and perhaps over the top but that’s the best way to handle these rich types of villains. If they played him too seriously then it probably wouldn’t have worked as well.

He’s the right blend of competent and sarcastic throughout the movie. The way he goes out is rather underwhelming though. Of course, the film could have 100 amazing villains but it wouldn’t save it when you consider all of the prior negatives as well as the fact that they squeezed in a dog for a particularly violent death. Yeah that scene meant that the film was absolutely going to be doomed. There is plenty of violence everywhere in the film as it is, why add the dog to the mix? It’s the kind of scene that feels like it’s just there for max shock value.

I can’t say that there are many positives to be had about the film at all. The main villain might be the biggest rain of sunshine here. Otherwise, I suppose the film isn’t terribly long so it doesn’t really drag on. The pacing is all right and I wouldn’t say that the writing is particularly awful. It just has to throw in way too many distractions and annoying moments at all times that continue to chip away at the movie from start to finish. Hopefully one day we will actually get a good Piranha movie but I have my doubts.

Overall, Piranha is still a terrible movie. I would highly advise you to stay away from this one. It’s just too mean spirited and nothing about it ends up being a satisfying watch. Instead the longer the film goes on, the more you will end up shaking your head this time. There aren’t very many evil animal films that I can even recommend because almost inevitably they end up faltering. They just don’t have a whole lot of potential right from the start because the evil animals will usually bring a whole lot of animal violence with them. Then you have to factor in that this is basically a slasher film and those never end up being very good anyway.

Overall 1/10

The Trail Beyond Review

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Time for another John Wayne adventure and this one gets intense when the lead has to fend off against armed adversaries. It’s another solid adventure with good pacing and a lot of fun to be had. It may not be the most memorable adventure but it was fun to see different backdrops like a train rather than the pure wild west all the time.

The film starts with Rod riding the train when he bumps into his old friend Wabi. Wabi isn’t the sharpest guy around and decides to play some high stakes gambling with a bunch of folks. Turns out that one of them was cheating and this quickly gets violent. A gunshot is fired and someone dies so now Wabi is on the run. He and Rod jump off the train to escape but by the time they change into Cowboy gear, they are already wanted for murder. They’re going to need to lie low but trouble has a knack of finding them. See they find a treasure map in an abandoned house where two men have been dead for generations. They take this to the nearby shop to be locked up but are seen and now the villains want it. Guess Rod might have to test out his gun skills.

Now there is some drama to be had here. There’s a girl who works at the shop named Felice and poor Wabi thinks that they are dating or at least are informally together. Unfortunately he forgot to tell her that and she immediately falls for Rod because of how manly he is. She is so infatuated that she even gets jealous when the villains hire a girl to work at the store undercover and Rod shows some interest. It feels a bit soon to get jealous since they barely know each other but hey that’s how it goes. The villains also got lucky there since their plan involved getting the girl hired and even for back then that seemed a bit easy.

Throughout the film, Wabi mainly just seems to be here to make Rod look even better. Wabi’s not as good of a fighter and it’s Rod who is doing all of the planning and thinking. Without him, Wabi would have been caught and taken don near the very beginning of the film. I also can’t feel too sympathetic to him, at least in the romantic department because it does feel like he was taking everything for granted. You do need to formally confess and get things started if you’re hoping for a relationship.

As for Rod, I appreciate that he was on business throughout the film. While Wabi worries about love, Rod is busy trying to make sure they can get to the treasure map and as a side bonus, get the cops off their trail. Yeah the opening scene becomes less important as the film goes on but the ending deals with it real quick. In a sense, you didn’t need the first scene since the treasure map plot is almost completely different but it did make for a fun opening action scene.

The soundtrack is still as iconic as ever. As soon as the music starts, you now exactly what kind of film you’re about to get. The writing and script are both solid as well so on technical elements it passes as always. The films are very consistent and you always know that you will be having a good time. I guess the most annoying character would be the deputy/ranger who was following the leads. Even after the villains kidnap him and it becomes contextually obvious what is going on, he still says that he will arrest the duo.

He basically threatens them not to untie him because he will attack them right away and Rod has to point out how dumb that would be. This guy just doesn’t have a clue and it’s what happens when you’re so focused on your orders that you forget common sense. I was definitely shaking my head at him the whole time. I know he eventually saw reason but it sure took him a while to get there and that made the villains look smarter in comparison.

Honestly the villains were pretty resourceful this time around. Hiring the girl to be at the job site, having a guy in a good position to watch if anyone puts good valuables into the safe, arresting the heroes, taking hostages, etc. They were really busy throughout the film and you could find them around every corner. The main villain himself is a bit interchangeable so he’s not particularly memorable, but he was effective. Sometimes these crooks put in so much effort you think they may as well have just worked a real job instead to save time and effort. It’s not like people are depositing treasure maps all the time so they could have been waiting years for a big score. I guess they’d just go back to robbing banks or something.

Overall, This was a pretty good film. I like to think that the title is referencing how the trains are past the usual trail and that’s their way of saying it. That said, if I was recommending this to folks, it probably wouldn’t be my highest John Wayne recommendation. I feel like he has still had a few other films that were better like with Singing Sam. This one doesn’t have a big memorable villain and we’ve seen better sidekicks before. Still, the film has quality writing and a good soundtrack so it still passes the bill where it counts.

Overall 7/10

Bâan: The Boundary of Adulthood Review

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It’s time for a really quick anime special. It’s under 20 minutes so it’s even shorter than some anime episodes so that means the pacing has to be really fast here. It’s a good story and I can’t say that I have any complaints here. I do think the world building is sound enough to make this into a full fledged adventure some day though. That would be a lot of fun to see.

The story takes place in a time where humanity has finally found a way to establish a teleportation station from Earth to a fantasy world. People can travel from planet to planet with ease and even start new lives there. A fair girl named Rinrada decides to travel to Earth while the human Daichi decides to try his luck in the fantasy world. The grass may look greener on the other side to each character but is this actually a good idea or are they about to regret this right away? Technically they can always go back through the gate again if things don’t work out but both of them have too much pride for that.

As a small aside, they probably should have showed a long line by the portal or a bunch of people at the landing zone because I imagine this is a really popular tourist destination. It’s hard to imagine that this kind of tech would exist and almost nobody would use it. This is a small nitpick though, doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Personally, I’d be having a ton of fun in the fantasy world. Earth is cool and all but yeah it doesn’t have cool dragons and stuff like that.

Since the film is short, a lot of the background information has to be inferred rather than outright stated and I appreciate that. This is sort of a back to basics in visual story telling as you will be able to piece everything together if you’re paying attention. Whether it is a phone being passed around, a photo in the background, a character’s voice, etc. It all ties in well and so you get a pretty solid plot twist midway through.

Rinrada has a really hard time getting a job in the human world and so you have to imagine that she wasn’t leveraging her magical abilities well. I tend to think it’s because for whatever reason they are frowned upon or even illegal in the real world but maybe she just took them for granted. Regardless, she keeps a positive attitude and does her best even when she wasn’t able to get an elite job. She has the right attitude to succeed in life. By the end of the film she also realizes that pride for its own sake isn’t a great thing and so she gets a solid ending.

As for Daichi, well I’d argue he was having fun for the entire movie. As soon as he got to the fantasy world he wasted no time in showing off his culinary genius and making friends. Even when he was on his own initially, the guy showed a lot of creativity in finding things to eat and just surviving off the land. You could tell that the fantasy world was a great fit for him over the ordinary mundane nature of the real world. He just didn’t need any of that. You get the feeling that he could have left for the fantasy world on better terms with his Mom over the phone but as part of his character development we can see how he really matured after going to the fantasy world.

The animation looks solid enough here. We even get a quick action scene in there. It’s clearly not a top rate production but the important thing is that it doesn’t look stiff. The song at the end of the special was also good. So the technical elements here are around average. Nothing noteworthy but nothing that would hold it back either which is the main victory. There aren’t a lot of characters here so you can really focus on the main two and what’s going on. If the special had to cram a lot of characters in then that would have been a lot tougher. Even if we had another 20 minutes or so to play with, I’d like to use that to see more of the day to day life of our main characters. The call center seems like it would be a fun area for comedic shenanigans and of course Daichi being in an isekai world has a ton of potential. Maybe you could even squeeze in a scene of him defeating some orcs or something.

Overall, this is a good movie. I don’t think it’ll end up being super memorable due to the length but it’s a good accomplishment to come out with an anime of any size. Maybe with an explosive climax or something but that’s definitely not what this title was going for. So props to the Youtuber for making his dreams a reality here. It’s something that will always be out there as a legacy of sorts. It’s also extremely easy for me to recommend this one as a result because it’s so short that it’s not like you’re putting a lot of time at stake to watch it. Even if it doesn’t end up being your cup of tea, it was less than 20 minutes of your life. It’s not like this is a really ambitious adventure with a ton of stuff happening, but it’s a calm slice of life that just works well.

Overall 7/10