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F9 Review

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Fast and the Furious has had quite a lot of solid films throughout the series. It started out a bit slow but kept on getting better by the 5th film. By this point we’re back on the way down a bit since there aren’t any Hobbs or Shaw characters to help keep things going. I think after you’ve been with those characters for so long it’s hard to go back to not having them around anymore. This is still a good film but you don’t feel like it’s quite on the level that they used to be at.

The movie starts off with a flashback about Dom and his brother Jakob as they were watching his father in a race before he was unfortunately obliterated in a big explosion. Dom find out that Jakob seemingly sabotaged the car and banishes him from the family. Jakob then went on to become one of the world’s greatest intelligence agents and works for many different villains on really difficult missions. Now he has captured Cipher and has access to some of the most powerful weapons imaginable. The gang are forced to call Dominick Toretto back into action but he refuses since he’s retired. The choice is taken out of his hands when his wife Letty agrees to help though so he tags along. Can they take Jakob down or has this man grown too powerful to be stopped?

I like the idea of Jakob more than the actual character. So you’ve got the long lost brother who is super skilled in a car and can match Toretto blow for blow. I mean that’s pretty cool right off the bat and I can even overlook how he just wasn’t mentioned all these years even if that is rather odd. No my main problem is that his character arc felt really rushed by the end and we didn’t get the satisfying clash with Toretto that I was waiting for. When Hobbs first showed up we had a great confrontation with Toretto that absolutely lived up to everything you could have hoped for. When Shaw appeared he also got a great clash. Jakob though? Nah not really. They get to talk and we learn more about the past but outside of a quick race and confrontation later on it isn’t nearly as grand. I feel like they fumbled this character a bit.

If anything Jakob’s best scene was when he was talking tough to Cipher. She tried to psycho analyze him and he just wasn’t having it. He had good comebacks for all her insults and just walked off. That’s exactly how you have to handle these manipulative villains or else you will always be in trouble. They could have probably shortened the flashbacks to when they were kids as well to be honest since those scenes weren’t as exciting. I think you could have condensed that really easily.

Now lets go back to the positives for a moment. One thing the series has always done well and continues to do well is delivering on a ton of nonstop action. The fights just keep on coming here and there are explosions around every corner. I think it’s safe to say that all action fans should be really satisfied while watching the movie. While the story may be more forgettable, all of the characters get their moments and that’s impressive because the cast is absolutely massive here! That also means the group splits up real fast so they aren’t all united until the end of the film.

The after credits scene here is also a lot of fun. A character that I had been wanting to show up at least gets a small cameo this way. I would have still liked more content out of him but I’ll take what I can get. He’s still a very powerful fighter after all so I expect he can beat anyone who gets in his way so the group is lucky that he’s basically a hero now. Perhaps one who is still very extreme and will crush anyone in his way but an ally all the same. The series continues its streak of great endings with this.

As always Toretto is a good main character. I really don’t blame him for wanting to get out of the business either. It’s a dangerous line of work to be taking on countries and such and now that he has a kid to think about he shouldn’t be taking extra risks. Once he’s on the mission he does use all of his resources to get to the bottom of it though. He does nothing halfhearted and that’s what I like about him. Letty also looks really good here as she was the one who was proactive about helping out from the start. She’s always ready to fight and isn’t afraid of taking the lead on these missions.

Roman and Tej mainly get the comic relief plots here. Roman does tend to really take down a lot of enemies when it counts though so you have to give him a lot of props there. He always pulls through and then Tej has the tech aspects on point. Ramsey is also important for helping on that end so the hero group really has a whole lot of talent now. Even Mia steps in to help out and it’s been a while since that happened. Now a big controversy before the film came out was Han showing up since we saw him die rather clearly. I will say that the explanation they gave here wasn’t very good at all. Like almost anything else would have been a better explanation. What would I have done? I would have had the cops run to the wreck and find Han alive in the explosion because he had some kind of sci-fi suit materialize over him at the last instant. That would have absolutely been more convincing if you ask me.

It is nice to see Han back of course but they could have tried a bit harder there. As for Cipher, it was nice to see her return. She’s easily the most personal villain of the group with what she did to Toretto in the past and I actually wasn’t expecting to see her again so that was a welcome surprise. The films are great at expanding the cast a whole lot but even then this one went the extra mile with a bunch of other characters showing up too. I actually don’t think Cipher is getting a redemption arc anytime soon so this is one character who is going to stay bad to the bone the whole time.

The film has a lot of music going on as the characters run around the planet and it works pretty well. The variety of the songs is good and most of these did land. I appreciated the throwbacks to Tokyo Drift as well. I would have liked it if the old protagonist there could have actually fought a bit more with the team though. He was a solid racer in that movie after all so I feel like he could have really contributed even though he hasn’t been in the game for a while. That’s just how good he should be when he’s behind the wheel since you never really lose those skills. They just stick with you through thick and thin.

Overall, F9 is a pretty good movie. It just feels a bit more forgettable than the others. Maybe it needed to pick a plot and focus on it more like the rivalry with Jakob. There’s a whole lot of untapped potential there. We find out some twists about the past of course but at the end of the day I wouldn’t say it makes Jakob look all that great anyway. Maybe the next film will help me like him more but with how his character arc went he’s already going to be rather different this time around. If you’ve watched the previous titles then you definitely need to check this out and I would still recommend it to the average movie viewer who isn’t into the series yet. It may not be the best one but it’s pretty fun and at the end of the day what more do you need than that right?

Overall 7/10

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw Review

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I remember seeing the trailer for this film so many times in theaters. It always looked so good. This was easily one of the most exciting looking film trailers I had seen in quite a while and fortunately the movie absolutely delivers on this. The action here is absolutely on point and we have a great cast with lots of fun banter to back it up. This movie is the all around experience and a reminder that we need this movie series to keep on going for a long time. More spinoffs would be a good idea although I wouldn’t expect any of them to touch this title.

The movie starts off with a parallel showing us the lives of Hobbs and Shaw as they go through their day. They beat up on a bunch of enemies and show why they are the best at what they do. They are then called in to team up with each other to locate a powerful virus that has seemingly been stolen by a lady named Hattie who allegedly betrayed her team. What makes this complicated is that she is Shaw’s sister and that either way he doesn’t wan to team up with Hobbs. They will have to put their differences to the side quick because a metahuman named Brixton is on their tail and he is not someone that you want to mess with.

First off the big draw of this film is the endless banter with Hobbs and Shaw. They can’t stand each other and they make no attempt to hide this. Whenever one of them is on screen you can expect a lot of bickering and name calling. They are absolutely relentless with this but again it’s just great. They can be rather creative with all of the insults and they also take this really far like when Shaw intentionally sabotages Hobbs at the airport. That could have derailed the whole adventure for the heroes but fortunately Hobbs is always very resourceful.

This does lead to a great after credits scene with Shaw getting into a little trouble. The film adds in a lot of little bonus scenes and cliffhangers in the end which was pretty cool. There is certainly a whole lot for a sequel to tackle even if it appears that a sequel is never happening at this point. Hopefully they reconsider because there’s a lot more you can do with these characters. I can’t think of any duo currently active in cinema with banter that could come anywhere close to this. It’s just not happening.

There is a whole lot of action here but less in the way of car action than your average furious film. These guys are really confident in their hand to hand skills after all so that’s what the film really focuses on. Just the two characters really knocking the life out of all their opponents. They are taking villains down by the dozen and it’s great and it’s also why they needed to have someone with super powers in Brixton because otherwise there is no normal guy who could really handle these two. The battles here all live up to the hype and at most my only issue is that Brixton is so much stronger than the other two that this fight should have been over in an instant. There just isn’t a whole lot that they could do to injure him and all he needed to do was follow through on some of his hits.

Brixton did make for an interesting villain the whole time. He clearly doesn’t like being manipulated at all but isn’t really able to do much about it. It can work as a fun misdirect though because the whole time you’re expecting him to turn the tables on the true leader and it just doesn’t happen. The true leader seems interesting but of course we haven’t gotten to see him yet since he was being saved for the sequel. In the end that proved to not be the best call since we may not see him but on the plus side that means he will always look very impressive since he may never lose in the franchise.

As always Hobbs is a great character. He constantly has comebacks for every insult someone tries to throw at him. Additionally he talks really tough even while the heroes are being zapped which takes a whole lot of will and determination. Not just anyone can continue to hurl insults and such when they are at death’s door but he’s just built different like that. He is also really great at planning ahead as we see when the film ends.

Then we have Shaw who is also a lot of fun. I still say that Hobbs is a little more skilled in the end but Shaw is close enough where it is always a close fight. I’ve already spoken about how great their dynamic is but Shaw can also hold his own on the solo scenes. It was cool seeing him take out a bunch of thugs in the apartment and I like how he tries to always work smarter not harder. He’ll take an elevator if there is one instead of just jumping down and likes coming up with smart ways to avoid a fight. He was also very quick to try and protect Hattie when he finds out she is involved and never wavers in trying to protect her. He’s just a very high quality character.

As for Hattie, she had to make a pretty tough decision in absorbing the virus early on. She can fight well and while she may give up quicker than the other characters, the odds were pretty bad so you can see why she did that. She makes for a good heroine and can keep up with the main two with all the action going on around which is great. You don’t want a heroine who is panicking or anything like that while going through so you are definitely going to be satisfied here.

Then there is Hobbs’ brother Jonah who comes off as a bit of a jerk the whole time. Sure I guess Hobbs just up and left which wasn’t good but he’s working for the government and saves the world a whole lot. You’d think he would cut him some slack. Meanwhile Shaw’s Mom was a lot more entertaining. I like how she is always prepared and no jail can ever hope to keep her. It’s part of what makes her such a fun character since she only stays at jail for as long as she wants too.

There is a new character in the franchise named Victor who was actually rather fun. Certainly a rather random character I admit and I do think some of his scenes do tend to drag on a bit long. What I liked here is that he’s so unpredictable that you do get the feeling that he’s very dangerous. Even though his scenes always tend to be comedic, you get the feeling that the only reason he can joke around with Hobbs like this is because he’s so skilled that Hobbs can’t just bump him off so easily. I’d be interested in seeing this guy appear more and see what he can do. There’s also a fun cameo for air marshal Dinkley who is fun. Now this cameo may not have had much point to it even if he does help out once but it was neat to see him.

This film actually expanded the verse quite a bit which is good for a spinoff and it made the film feel a whole lot more important than it would have otherwise been. That’s what is very admirable here. Now when it comes to the soundtrack I will say that it’s less impressive than the main films. Some decent tunes in here but most of the songs just didn’t click for me. They may have been fast so they fit with the tone of the film but they just weren’t very good. The effects are top notch as always though.

What really makes this a great film is just how much replay value it has. The movie always has a very fun tone the whole time. You get your action scenes and hype dialogue as the characters get closer to their objectives but the film doesn’t slow down. We get a whole lot of big action scenes and then the film continues to top them over and over again. The only weak point of the film I would say is the romance which feels like it is just tacked on here. I gotta say that the characters are way too busy to worry about romance right now so they should be focusing on the fight. I’d also say some general power level issues throughout the film so you are going to have to suspend your disbelief a few times while the heroes are fighting.

Overall, Hobb & Shaw is a great film that I would recommend to anyone. I would say you don’t even need to watch the older films to understand this one. It works well enough as a stand alone title and with the basic premise of the two not getting along that is the only context that you really need. I could even rewatch this film now to be honest which is always a good sign. If they do surprise us with a sequel someday then I will definitely be ready but in the meantime I’m just glad that we got this one. Of course make sure you stick around after the credits because that last scene was just epic and a perfect way to end things off.

Overall 8/10

Shadow on the Wall Review

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Shadow on the Wall is definitely a pretty intense noir film although it doesn’t follow the characters I expected it to. It takes the interesting approach of focusing on the kid and the trauma she gets after a pretty big experience rather than the main character. It’s a different approach but not a bad one although I don’t think it would work to do this too often. Either way as long as you’re ready for more of a slow burn experience then you will do well here.

The movie starts off with David finally getting home after being away for a while at work. His daughter Susan is happy to see him and he’s glad to be back but unfortunately he finds out that his second wife Celia is having an affair with another man. He confronts her about this but she knocks him out with a single swing. Her sister Dell then shows up but is upset at Celia stealing her man so she destroys Celia and runs off. David figures he probably shot Celia when he wakes up and is crushed at court and sentenced to death. Dell feels like she’s pretty safe at first since nobody was in the room except is turns out that Susan may have seen everything. Dell figures she has to murder this little girl and quick but how can she get past Dr. Caroline and the rest of the hospital staff overseeing Susan’s trauma?

Dell is definitely a cold customer and a true villain through and through. She does not hesitate when thinking about murdering Susan which is something you could only do if you are a true psychopath. You definitely do not want to get on Dell’s bad side. It’s clear that there is no line which she will not cross. She will do whatever it takes to get her way. The crazy thing is that she’d probably have been fine if she just left well enough alone and minded her business. Keep in mind that David is to be executed fairly soon and Susan is barely in a state to talk about anything. Even if she suddenly says that she saw Dell, there would need to be some convincing reason to believe her over all the evidence that suggests David did it. I don’t see any plausible way for Dell to lose if she just stayed quiet the whole time.

Of course villains do always tend to be quite nervous and overthink everything so at the same time it’s not too surprising that Dell made this mistake. It’s also something to see her quick descent into madness. Murdering a kid is no small thing, it’s something reserved only for some of the most evil and vicious villains out there. Dell definitely does not come across as sympathetic in the slightest and you’re rooting for her to go down the whole time. She was quite manipulative the whole time too.

David is mostly okay here. He definitely gets emotional about his wife cheating on him but I don’t think he would have ultimately pulled the trigger. He was looking pretty shaken and ominous at the same time but ultimately he would have backed off. It’s annoying to see him getting tricked by Dell but at the same time he has no reason to suspect her or any context so there’s no way he could have known that he was making a mistake.

Celia is portrayed as a pretty bad character from the jump. She certainly isn’t afraid to talk really tough the whole time. Ultimately I was expecting her to finish David off at first but at least she didn’t go that far. It’s hard to feel all that bad for her in the end though, it seems like she had a long history of being a full antagonist and wasn’t planning on changing that anytime soon. So when you put that all into perspective then she would have kept doing more damage in the future too. Possibly even more damage than Dell if she was really cut loose onto the world.

The best character here would have to be Pike. I thought he did a great job of defending David’s interests. Moreover he was the kind of guy who would actually listen to advice and didn’t take anything for granted. He thought Caroline was grasping at straws later on in the film and told her as much but he wasn’t sarcastic or belittling about it. He would calmly try to talk things out each time and that’s what I liked about him. He was a very respectful guy but also a firm one. If he didn’t agree about something then he would say that to your face instead of beating around the bush the whole time. Someone like that is who you really want to have on your side when the chips are down.

Then Dr. Caroline also did great the whole time. Rehabilitation isn’t easy and she keeps going through with it to get Susan better. While I think the sleeping bath is super dangerous all on its own, presumably it’s considered to be safe in the movie verse. If not for sabotage it would have been fine. Caroline trusts her gut instincts a lot which is good since it makes it tougher to really deceive her. Caroline handled herself in a professional manner the whole time and got results.

Now the bulk of the film follows Susan and that’s where things can get a little stretched out. She’s super traumatized over what happened so she’s lost all her emotions and just does everything without energy. It’s definitely a tough situation to be in and you feel bad for her but it doesn’t always make for the most interesting scenes. As I mentioned earlier it does make for a fairly unique perspective but you’re more interested in the thriller aspects and what is going to happen next as opposed to her recovery process. Caroline was clever in how she used the dolls to help Susan communicate though.

Still even if I wasn’t quite as engaged in the Susan scenes I would say that the film held its own the whole time. Even though you know who the murderer is you are focused on how the heroes are ultimately going to catch her. That’s the main objective of the film and so since everything is riding on Susan’s testimony that adds a little more weight to her plot. Then of course you have Dell squirming the whole time as she is waiting for her chance to turn the tables and finish Susan off which is still what puts her in a losing position.

Overall, Shadow on the Wall is a pretty good movie. The dialogue and script are solid as you would expect. The pacing is mainly good although I would have substituted Susan’s scenes for more screen time of David in jail or perhaps a longer court scene to show how the deliberations went. I imagine it was fairly one sided particularly since David didn’t remember what he had done but I like court scenes a lot so stretching it out to have everyone voice what they were thinking would have been nice. Part of why I was surprised to see Susan’s plot take the lead at first is I expected a whole lot of the film would be about David’s lawyer trying to get to the bottom of things but that’s not how it was to be.

Overall 7/10

The Most Dangerous Game Review

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It’s time for a very old thriller title that’s also super short. It could have stood to be a little longer because I enjoyed the concept and there’s more you could do with it. Still, you should have a good time either way and it serves as a reminder to always be on your guard. If you let your guard down for an instant then things can get very tricky.

The movie starts with there being a big boat crash and Bob finds himself washed ashore a mysterious island. Everyone else died due to powerful sharks roaming the area. Bob is a pretty big animal hunter himself and on the boat they had been asking him what it would feel like to be hunted. He had figured that could never happen but now what can he do? Well at least the owner of the house, Zaroff appears to be a nice guy even if he’s a little eccentric. There are two other survivors here in Eve and Martin. Eve seems quite afraid of Zaroff for some reason while Martin is super drunk but pretty happy about everything going on. Martin explains that Zaroff is a great guy and has good food. Is there more to this place than meets the eye?

Of course you can probably piece some things together based on the title and the poster. This is going to be a hunt like no other. I will say right off the bar that Martin is the most entertaining character in the movie. He’s just so drunk that it’s really quite impressive. You would think that he would sober up at some point but he doesn’t. He just keeps on going and has one of the most shrill voices that I’ve head in quite a while. One thing’s for sure, you won’t be forgetting him afterwards. Once he’s gone the film gets 100% serious since this guy was the only one brightening things up.

He wasn’t particularly smart or quick on the uptake so it makes sense he would go fast. As soon as people vanished and never returned you’d figure something was up ordinarily but the beers really threw his mind for a loop. Eve suspects that something is wrong but she isn’t really able to do a whole lot about it on her own. Her own physical power isn’t super high after all and running off by herself into the island wouldn’t end up doing a whole lot. She is by herself on the island so where would she even go? Bob arriving is really her only hope to get out of here in one piece.

As for Bob, he’s a reasonable main character. Definitely a little slow on the uptake as well but at the same time it’s not like he has any real reason to trust Eve over Zaroff. He just met both of them so they’re each suspicious in their own ways. At least once it’s time for a fight then he can defend himself as well as anyone else. He is used to hunting animals and so trying to take down a human hunter isn’t as big a deal as it would be for many fighters. Of course Zaroff set things up so he has the advantage with his hunting dogs and minion all around.

This guy has been doing this for a long time after all so he has a plan for everything. Ultimately Bob was fun and for the most part Zaroff was a decent villain. At least his hunting philosophy is interesting but once he started viewing Eve as a trophy then he felt more like a generic bad guy without a whole lot of honor codes and rules to keep himself grounded. That’s my main issue with the guy. It doesn’t line up with his overall character of being so sophisticated and wanting a higher challenge for himself in going after people. By wanting to get the girl then suddenly he was just another guy and it hurt his character quite a lot. It was definitely disappointing to see that’s for sure.

The main climax of the film is Zaroff and Bob going at it as they try to hunt each other in the forest. It really lends itself well to being a fun sequence although the heroine does hold Bob back a lot. I would have preferred this to have been a true 1 vs 1 so we can see how they do. The film presents Bob as being far superior both in planning and experience but maybe if this was a straight forward fight we could have made things be a bit more balanced. It would be a lot of fun to see them laying down traps and all as the entire film.

Again this is where a longer length could have helped the movie. This one’s only about an hour so by the time the characters go outside a large portion of the film is already done. At the same time you couldn’t really cut out much of the intro because that was all needed for the characterization and setting up the plot that was to come. So the only solution is making it longer but I would still recommend checking the movie out. The script is good and you get a lot of good banter the whole time.

The only real issue here is as you can guess with this being a hunting film there can be some collateral. The rest of the hunts are never on screen so you don’t see animals going down for the most part but one does go down near the end. It’s totally off screen or pretty much all off screen but you still know what happened. It’s handled more tactfully than most so I wouldn’t lower this to a negative score but it’s still not quite as high as it could have been.

Overall, The Most Dangerous Game is fairly suspenseful. It takes a fairly simple plot and makes it engaging all the way through. Make a 2 hour movie on this and invite just a few more guests. Then the setup would be absolutely perfect for a true thriller with a lot of chases going on. Yes that would definitely be right up my alley and I would have a lot of fun with that. Of course a remake would have to be careful and not add a bunch of animals in there to fill up the time. That’s exactly what you don’t want to do and I admit that I would be a little nervous about that angle the whole time. Nothing ventured and nothing gained though so I’d check it out and hope for the best. In the meantime treat this film like a proof of concept. Put yourself in Bob’s place and imagine being hunted. It’s definitely a scary situation to be in and the shark infested waters also mean that there is no easy way out of the island. One way or another you need to take down the ruler.

Overall 6/10

Whatever Happened to Aunt Alice Review

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The title probably reminds you of the Baby Jane film right away. That one was definitely no good and this one also isn’t very solid although I would say it’s better than the former. This one only works because none of the characters are very smart and put themselves in a position to lose the whole time. It feels bad because you know that the characters had potential to accomplish big things in their life but never could because this was the end of their journey.

The film starts off with Claire being saddened because after her husband’s untimely death he didn’t leave her anything. She mis timed the moment as he had already taken out his life insurance and so now she is super poor. Claire figures she will start murdering everyone to keep her funds up and so she starts hiring maids only to bump them off afterwards. One day a lady named Alice appears and confirms she has no family or anyone who would miss her. Claire decides to hire her after that so she can get more money eventually. Alice has a little more spirit than the first few maids but is she really ready to handle such a powerful fighter?

Now your main suspension for disbelief here will be how this old lady is casually defeating everyone. It’s not like she is Master Genkai or anything like that. This is an old lady who can barely fight so each time her trick is to get the lady to walk into the grave with her back turned while Alice takes her out with a shovel. It’s pretty sad how easy this all is but at the same time once you’re in that position it would be hard to win. The fact is that you wouldn’t expect to be hit in the back of the head with a shovel so you aren’t prepared for that.

There is no excuse for one of the victims though. So here’s the scenario, the victim already knows that Claire is evil and is being chased around the house. Finally she knocks the knife out of Claire’s hands and gets her to the ground. She has 3 real options from this point forward. The first is to quickly end this by taking Claire down with one more hit, the second is to simply run away and get as far away as you can. The third is to grab the knife and then call the cops while keeping your eye on the villain. The victim chooses option 3 but the dumb version of it as she lets Claire keep the knife and completely gives her back as she grabs the phone. Naturally Claire capitalizes on this and pulls off the biggest comeback victory since the Patriots beat the Falcons in the Super Bowl. This was insane.

You never turn your back to a serial killer like that, particularly when they are armed. What was she thinking here? It was a really bad look and it’s just hard to believe that things would end like that. It was super annoying to put it mildly. Claire does a whole lot here when she should have been taken down ages ago. Surely you would be able to poke holes in her alibi of saying that each caretaker ran off when they were never seen again. Of course these were the days before internet so it gets trickier but there had to be better ways of handling this.

Claire is definitely evil through and through so don’t expect any kind of big redemption arc for her. She stands by all of her crimes and had absolutely no intentions of doing anything different. That’s just how she rolls. There are much easier and better ways of making money but she was never interested in those from the start. Meanwhile Alice was a decent character but didn’t always make the right moves. I liked that she could have a bit of a temper at times but on the other hand she didn’t do much with that. I was hoping she would actively challenge Claire more instead of just having a quick moment and immediately backing off. That’s never as impressive as she seems to think it is.

Her lies start getting more sloppy by the end too and it’s clear that she isn’t used to planning things out on the longterm. The ending could have been a lot more satisfying than how it turned out. Meanwhile there is a whole subplot with Harriet and her kid Jim but it feels like the two plots don’t have a lot to do with each other for the most part. You’ve got a little romance going with Mike and there’s a lot of drama there. You have the characters deciding if they should get together or not but you’re just waiting to get back to the main plot already.

There is a dog that shows up there for some big jump scares. If anything happened there that would have been super rough but fortunately it’s all fakeouts the whole time. I just don’t think there was much point in including Harriet and all the characters in that subplot. Sure, Mike sort of tied both plots together and they got to see Claire being suspicious the whole time but they were still defeated in the end. They didn’t really get to see through the lies and suspense very well at all. Instead they just became more sacrifices to be taken down in short order. Not a good look for them. Also, apparently Harriet’s old husband died a while back and while I don’t think they’ve said how long it’s been, it seems like an odd detail to add before starting up a romance. Makes the whole thing feel like a rebound.

In the end the problem with this film is that you can’t take it seriously. An old lady taking everyone down one at a time like this? it’s really hard to believe but the worst offender is the final victim for not staying alert. The previous maids also looked really bad in not standing up for themselves and just letting Claire walk all over them. I get that they needed the money and all but it’s just annoying to watch in every scene as they are insulted and humiliated but don’t do anything about it. Claire has way too much power the whole time.

Overall, This is a fairly mean spirited film. Characters don’t really think things through and it’s just crazy watching the whole story unfold. It doesn’t play out like it should and they probably should have gone all out with the crazy premise instead of taking it so seriously. You’re just not going to successfully make her a villain to be feared, not like this at any rate. I would definitely recommend skipping this one. The idea of an old lady bumping everyone off is executed as uneventfully and slow paced as you would expect. You’ve got better things you can do with your time.

Overall 3/10

I Married a Witch Review

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With a title like this you can expect some fun and shenanigans. It’s a reasonable comedic romance film but at the same time it also could have been better in some respects. At the end of the day part of the fun in marrying a witch is having fun with the magic and trying to lead a normal life at the same time but the film doesn’t get to go into that much because it’s pursuing a different angle.

So the movie starts off with a rather serious scene as Jennifer and Daniel are taken down for the count for being witches. They get sealed in a tree for countless years but also curse the Wallace family so always marry someone that won’t be very nice. As the years go by this spell is still intact and then one day a bolt of lightning destroys the tree. Jennifer and Daniel are free to do whatever they want. Jennifer decides that she wants to ruin Wallace’s life herself by getting him to cheat on his fiancé with her. I’m not totally sure what the end goal here is after the humiliation period is over but maybe that’s enough. She is immortal right now so she could keep on messing with all of his descendants for the rest of time.

The main guy here is a man named Wallace and his life was pretty much figured out. He would marry his fiancé Estelle and live happily ever after. It’s hard to know what he really sees in her since she is portrayed as being rather mean and standoffish from the start. Perhaps there was just nobody else and he didn’t want to stay single forever? If so that’s definitely a shame because settling will often times be worse than going the journey alone. Settling is just the worst possible path there and leaves you in a very unsatisfying place in life. Still, that’s when there is a big fire and he “saves” Jennifer.

Jennifer isn’t used to having a human body after being away for so long and also seems to have lost some common sense initially as she barely even notices the flames and acts like it’s normal to be in a burning building. Still, now is the time to try and ensnare Daniel. To Daniel’s slight credit he resists a bit but I don’t give him a whole lot beyond that. He really should have just told Estelle the score from the start and gone from there. The more distance he puts between himself and Jennifer the safer he is. You can’t worry about rumors as long as you’re doing the right thing and if Estelle is soon to be his wife then she should be able to believe him when he says that Jennifer is following him around.

Where Wallace falters here is when Jennifer talks to him at night and he stays up just talking about life. Keep in mind that she is never able to give him the love formula so he is just falling for her here while he is still engaged. It’s not a good look for the guy at all so even though her feelings were genuine by the end, you can’t root for them to be together. This was all way too fast and feels like a huge rebound. You also have to account for how desperate she was to get him the whole time. He just looks really flaky because of this. The guy is trying to run for governor, he doesn’t have time for any of this.

Meanwhile Jennifer isn’t the best character here as her goal to start with was really petty. Is she really going to spend all of eternity going after the same family? You also have to consider the fact that the descendants have nothing to do with the original crime so it’s not good to punish innocents like that. She’s a full villain from the start even if she isn’t quite as strict as her father. She doesn’t really have a full redemption arc in the sense that I don’t know if she really learned that what she did was wrong. She just likes Wallace now so she won’t be messing with him anymore and is trying for him for real. The crazy thing is from his point of view he can’t see any difference, she is trying for him in the same ways all film, it’s just that in the first half it was to sabotage him while in the second she likes him. Not that it matter much to him though.

Her magic is also pretty good like with the mass hypnosis she has. Then Daniel is able to burn any building to the ground in an instant. Not too shabby, with abilities like that it’s hard to see the witches being stopped by the humans anytime soon. If anything I’m surprised that they were stopped the first time too. You’d think that they could easily dodge any kind of trap and counter right away. For now I’ll say that they just lowered their guard at the wrong time similar to how Daniel was taken down because of that. When you have great powers then you really have to be careful.

Estelle isn’t likable from the start. You still feel bad that Wallace would jump away so quickly when they were just about to get married though. You assume that he already knew about those qualities of her and still wanted to marry her after all. He just ended up going to the rebound and that’s all there was to it. The romance is just not good as a result but the film holds its own thanks to the fun humor here. It is a movie that goes by very quickly and in a way it is nice to see Wallace talking tough at first even though you know that he’s doomed. Initially he thought she was sent by the political rival which actually tracks but of course he ended up being wrong on that one.

Overall, I Married a Witch is the kind of retro, charming film you would expect it to be. The characters aren’t the most likable but they do have good banter the whole time. You may not appreciate the romance but at least the tough talk and posturing before that is good as Wallace is determined not to fall into this. You may know that he will inevitably fail but the journey is still a fun one. I would say a longer period of time of Jennifer trying to convince Wallace that she is a witch would have been fun though. There is so much you can do with those abilities!

Overall 7/10

The Raven Review

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I was pleasantly surprised by how good this film was. To be honest I really had low expectations for it. With that name you’re a little worried about the characters having to fight an actual Raven which would be no good and it just had the look of an old horror film that wouldn’t withstand the test of time. Instead it actually ended up being a really solid experience and had a little humor to balance things out too. For a minute there I even thought some of the dialogue was fake and added after the fact but that’s just how fun the series could be when it really tried.

The movie starts by introducing us to Craven who hasn’t been having a good time of things. His wife Lenore died a while back and yet he has not been able to recover. One day a sorcerer named Bedlo shows up after having been turned into a Raven by the notorious Scarabus. That guy is the most powerful sorcerer in the world and you absolutely do not want to get on his bad side. Craven wants nothing to do with him but Bedlo claims that he saw Lenore there. Craven knows that this is impossible and yet he wants to be sure so they head on over. Will this end up being a fatal journey for the crew or will they overcome all obstacles?

Craven does have magical abilities of his own but he’s just not sure about taking a foe like this on. He is far more powerful than Bedlo but at the same time you feel like that isn’t really saying a whole lot! It’s always best not to pick a fight when you can help it and Craven was a fun character the whole time. His own lair is quite mysterious as well the whole time. His dead father seems to still be alive to an extent with how his eyes glow and Craven seems to have a lot of resources for someone who considers himself to be a fairly meager mage.

As the film goes on we learn more about Craven and it helps him continue to improve as a character the whole time. He does great during the climax and was a determined fighter. He is polite but won’t let anyone walk all over him. If you stay on Craven’s good side then you’ll be okay but if you try anything funny then you will be in for a real shock. There is a whole lot of depth to Craven’s character and it would have been fun to see him return in a sequel or something. The world of magic introduced in this film is very interesting. Craven also just has that natural confident demeanor that makes him very likable.

Meanwhile Bedlo is more on the annoying side. He’s supremely weak and yet he is constantly mouthing off and picking fights. You’d think he would have learned his lesson the first time but the guy is blinded by his own arrogance. He’s impressed with Craven performing spells with a wand which is apparently a basic skill and he thought he could beat the most powerful sorcerer on the planet? Yeah the guy isn’t very smart at all and it really shows. You’re not rooting for him to win at all as the film goes on. Just let him be defeated already and everyone will be happy.

As for Scarabus, well he’s an interesting villain. The guy is fairly calm and doesn’t seem like someone who typically picks fights. If you show up before him then you are fair game though. The guy is still a full villain even if he’s not going around targeting people. He was fully ready to destroy Craven and friends in the end. The guy earned his reputation so you can be sure this wasn’t the first time as well. His powers were also the real deal so this made him a good adversary.

Part of what sets the film apart is the solid magical fight scenes here. Not just any film can deliver a really fun magical battle but this one pulled it off. It’s even more impressive when you remember how old the film is because the effects have absolutely aged very well. It was a creative way to show what they can do and the bright colors probably shocked the audience back in the day. Yes this was a good way to close out the film and it exceeded my original idea of how it would all turn out.

Additionally the humor was always very clever. Strange things happen and Craven always responds to them in a super calm way himself. That’s part of the charm and then other times something funny will happen really quickly while you are still processing what is going on. When Bedlo first starts talking as the Crow it’s really surreal since you just weren’t expecting that. The film had seemed so serious at the start which made the payoff for this scene so good. After that it has fun with the dry wit.

The movie’s fairly short too so it all moves at a really brisk pace. Something is happening in every scene and even before they arrive at the villain’s base you’re already off on the right foot. As for whether Lenore is a ghost or not I’ll let you decide but the way things play out is satisfying. I won’t say that everyone gets a happy ending but everyone does have a conclusive one.

Overall, The Raven is a fun film and a must watch for all horror fans. It’s not every day that you get to watch a horror with comedic elements like this after all. Vincent Price always does well as the lead and this movie is no exception to that. No matter what opponent or challenge gets in his way he will conquer it and keep it moving. I don’t think any other adaptions of Poe’s story could possibly ever beat this one.

Overall 7/10

Kiss of the Vampire Review

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Oh no, it’s a vampire film! Uh ohhhhhhhhh. Well this one mostly plays things straight with the main guy not being very smart and the main heroine being super susceptible to mind control. None of them play things very smart here and the local vampire expert has better things to do than try to keep the heroes safe. Fortunately the villains aren’t very brave either aside from the main vampire but there’s not much to salvage here. It’s just a B grade vampire movie and most are at that level by default so that’s saying something.

So the movie starts with Gerald and Marianne hitting a speed bump on their travel destination. They have just been married recently and were looking forward to a lot of fun but now that’s not going to happen. Gerald tells Marianne to stay in the carriage in this unknown place that they have never been before while he goes around and searches for help. Fortunately nothing happens her and they find a nearby inn of sorts. It’s kind of empty and the owner Bruno and his wife are a bit odd. Bruno seems happy enough but the place is empty and nobody wants to talk about it.

Ah well, they just need to be here for a day right? Well, apparently the damage to the carriage is extensive and it will take several days to fix but fortunately the rich Dr. Ravna has invited them over to his house. A cranky old guy named Zimmer warns them not to go but when asked why he basically shrugs and storms off. At Ravna’s house his son Carl overtly flirts with Marianne the whole time but Gerald barely reacts except for some half hearted remarks. Does he realize that they have just stepped foot into the vampire’s den?

I have a lot of problems with the film but it all starts with the main character. Now it’s good not to be too possessive. That’s a definite and jumping into action because Marianne is talking with Carl isn’t a big issue at first. Once Carl starts inviting Marianne to parties and such without including Gerald is where you have to draw the line. Instead he immediately lets a lady named Sabena get him drunk and while he says all the right things as she leads him up to her room you feel like it’s just bluster and he was already under her heel from the start. Not a good look for this guy….not a good look at all.

So yeah he’s a pretty bad main character and he spends the whole film getting absolutely devastated in every scene. Even when Marianne vanishes this guy can’t react properly because he’s so drunk and is slipping all over the place. Yeah the drink was spiked but that’s why you shouldn’t be drinking alcohol like that anyway. Especially when the situation seemed suspicious from the jump. Gerald still tries to help when he can but it’s often futile.

As for Marianne, my complaints are mainly the same as they are for Gerald. She lets herself be pushed around way too easily the whole time. She should have told Carl to back off after a while. Additionally the way she is tricked near the end is embarrassing. You’re telling me that she can mix up her husband just by having someone wear a mask? That doesn’t speak very well to their bond. It’s not like they look that alike and the whole being super silent thing should have raised some warning bells as well. The film doesn’t go over very well for her.

As for Ravna, well he’s less depraved than some of the other vampire villains that I’ve seen but there’s not much to him. He’s content to rub his victories in the face of the main character but what even are his goals beyond random destruction? He has a huge cult following him so why not just break into the inn and slaughter everyone at night? He goes through a lot of stealth and theatrics but when you have an army that all seems rather moot. Granted, his army was rather awful to be honest as they panicked about everything the whole time but the numbers advantage should still be enough. Instead he did not put himself in a position to win and squandered his super powers.

Carl and Sabena are basically just here to mess with the leads and none are particularly likable. If the main characters could stand up for themselves more then they’d be fine. Then there’s no way to like Bruno as the guy is so afraid of the vampires that he basically runs the inn as a way to get more sacrifices for them. Ever think about just driving away during the daytime when they can’t move? It’s really not that complicated here and taking a chance is better than being an executioner like this. In a way it makes him just as bad as the others.

Finally you have Zimmer and it’s great that he knows a whole lot but the guy couldn’t be more vague if he tried. Yeah he tells the heroes not to go but refuses to give any more info than that. He only finally helps a bit during the end of the film and it turns out that he knows magical ritual spells which is super handy. So it’s great to have him around as a result but really is that the best he can do? He waited until just about everyone was taken down so that was really late. There’s also a moment when the vampires visit the main duo in the daytime so Zimmer comes in to stir up trouble but why not just lock the front door or something? They only barely escaped with a few seconds left and that’s because Zimmer showed up and reminded them about the light. The whole scene was very questionable.

As always you have all the blood sucking and everything here too. Everyone is getting drained and the humans can’t do much to stop them. The film can be a little violent with the deaths as Hammer films like you to really see the stabs. The first scene while a bit funny with how everything played out definitely started the film out on a violent note with Zimmer taking one of the vampires down. The movie is quick paced and doesn’t waste a lot of time but the main characters being so unlikable in addition to the vampires not being very interesting made for a losing formula. I’d say to avoid this title.

Overall 3/10

One Piece: 3D2Y Review

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It’s always hype to be getting some more One Piece adventures into the mix. This one’s got a really solid budget with the animation and it’s nice to see Luffy have to try and take on a fairly powerful opponent when he’s just getting used to haki. That said, the film starts off better than it ends as two fights end up being wasted. It would seem that Boa is doomed to never really get to show how powerful she is in a serious fight at this rate. Still, it is a solid action title all around.

The movie starts off with retelling the events of Marineford. It’s definitely hype to see that as it’s still one of the absolute peaks of the series. It was really the moment that defined the series and all of those high budget scenes were great. Still, Luffy wasn’t yet strong enough to win the day and so we cut to the present in between parts 1 and 2 of One Piece. Luffy is training on how to become a lot stronger when a villain named Byrnndi World shows up and kidnaps some of his allies while also crushing Luffy in a few good shots. Luffy will have to team up with one of the 7 Warlords, Boa Hancock in order to take him down. Will their combined abilities really be a match for someone that even the World Government fears?

Now the movie does give World a whole lot of hype but if we’re being honest here he should be no match for the admirals. There is no real reason to call in all of the war lords or treat this as such a big event. You could get around that a little later in the series like around Whole Cake Island since Luffy was at the top levels by then. Luffy’s still too weak at this point in time though so if Luffy can take this guy down then the world shouldn’t be afraid of him. His devil fruit is cool but that’s just not enough.

I did like World as a villain though. There’s not a whole lot to him beyond being a bruiser but he has a good design and his ability to make things really big made for an imposing power to go up against. He would be able to give many opponents a really hard time in combat. This guy’s just built different after all. World isn’t the smartest villain around but he can fight and that’s the important thing. His battles with Luffy in this film are animated very well and the guy can hold his own in a fight. Even Luffy’s greatest attacks were really not matching up well against this guy at all and Luffy’s no slouch in the power level department. Sure, he isn’t at the top like I mentioned but he is still very high tier without a doubt.

Luffy takes a lot of beatings in this film but his character portrayal was still on point the whole time. He never ran away from a fight and kept on trying to save everyone. He’s the kind of determined main character you expect to see here. Much better than Raleigh who basically decides not to help for no reason at all. I’d almost have more respect for him if he just admitted he was scared of fighting a pirate as notorious as Byrnndi. He also needs to work on his haki since somehow he never sensed the villain appearing on the island. The film was a bad look for him all the way around that’s for sure.

Boa gets a big role here since it’s her soldiers who are kidnapped by Byrnndi. A lot of people always figured she is super powerful to be one of the Warlords even beyond her stone abilities and I’d say that’s likely true as she got a good hit in during Stampede as well but that’s why it’s a shame when she doesn’t get to fight much. She does not look very impressive here at all. Unfortunately her fight quickly devolves into fanservice and stops being taken seriously as a fight almost immediately.

The second half of the fight is more focused on being a full on comedy than you’d expect. Boa’s fight is very lackluster and the same is true for Buggy. Of course that guy is always the comic relief character so it’s less surprising that he wouldn’t get a true fight. Even in the New World he doesn’t seem very powerful even though he overpowered Law once. Luffy’s fight was great but it sort of has to carry the second half while the first parts were a lot more engaging and set the tone really well.

One Piece usually isn’t as fanservice heavy as you’d expect so this was on the higher side for the series. It’s nothing too crazy but I still want Boa to get a true fight before the series ends and that is looking less and less likely to occur. Now while I liked World as the main villain, I wouldn’t say the same for his two sidekicks. For starters they are super forgettable. I didn’t remember their names by the time everything had ended. They had some cool abilities and techniques which had some real thought into them but the characters themselves really weren’t anything special. World didn’t think so either with how easily it was for him to believe the worst about these guys.

At the end of the day 3D2Y is a fairly basic One Piece adventure but one that hits on enough of the good points of the series. Luffy’s new outfit is a lot of fun and having an ally be kidnapped is always a good way to instantly get the stakes high and have you excited for what’s going to happen next. Especially when it takes place deep into a series like this so it’s always shocking to see Luffy taken down so easily. It’s a shame that Zoro and friends couldn’t be here due to when it takes place but that’s just how it goes sometimes. At least we had the intro movie to tide us over.

Overall, One Piece 3D2Y isn’t going to be beating any of the big films but it’s still a title that I would recommend to any One Piece fan. It’s new content with a high budget after all. How can you say no to that? The action starts up right away and there is always something going on. Even if it had some faults, I enjoyed my viewing experience to the ened and due to the fights it will have some replay value as well.

Overall 7/10

The Final Countdown Review

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The Final Countdown is a film that’s pretty good but at the same time you feel like it sort of cheats on the premise. Almost 90% of the film is setting up for the actual plot to happen and then it suddenly ends. I’d like a remake that actually goes all in here and lets the heroes play around with the time travel a bit. This is one of those rare instances where I’m convinced a second watch will always be worse than the first viewing but on the initial viewing you should still have a good time here.

The movie starts by introducing us to Captain Yelland and his ship as they are just leaving Pearl Harbor. A guy named Lasky has been invited aboard to basically see how things are done abord the ship and see if any protocols are to be updated. He’s an efficiency expert you can say but all of a sudden the ship goes through a portal and warps back to a few days before the events of Pearl Harbor. They must now decide if they should try to change history and stop the tragedy from occurring or let it play out so as to not affect the timestream.

While that may be the main plot, the characters aren’t debating if they should act or not for most of the movie because they don’t realize what is happening until the end. So for the most part the characters are just trying to figure out what is going on but since its obvious to the viewer the whole time this doesn’t have as much bite. It’s an interesting film but one that just feels a bit misleading in what the focus will be on. This probably would have worked better as a series or with some sequels so we could actually get back to the plot. Instead the film ends on a bit of a whimper. There is one cool aspect to the ending but I really wanted to explore the changes to the timeline and how that would have affected everyone.

I liked Captain Yelland though and he had the right response. Ultimately he says that they can’t worry about what’ll happen down the line and have to save everyone they can in the present. He was prepared to do what was needed and it’s not like the allies would lose a lot on this. They are from far enough in the future where it would be supremely easy to take the win here and you have to do it. He also kept calm the whole time and never really panicked. This is the kind of man you want to have at the helm of the ship because you can count on him to get results.

Owens is the most annoying character here though. His viewpoint is the classic “We shouldn’t mess with history” not realizing that just by being in the past you’ve already changed things. Deciding not to help your own country avoid one of its largest historic tragedies would be downright criminal. Then he tries to say that it’s not like they could change the past anyway but they evidently already did by saving a senator. The situation isn’t one that can be immediately understood and that’s why instead of giving up right from the jump you should try to do your best. If you get to go to the past, don’t question the logic of how it happened and just do your best to make sure everything turns out all right. That’s the only winning attitude to be had here.

Then you have Lasky who mainly proves to be a thorn in everyone’s side. Owens is reasonably upset with him because Lasky keeps breaking into his office to look at things. Lasky is not someone who is particularly great with boundaries after all. He just does what he wants at any time. On one hand at least he is ready to change the future but on the other hand he just seems to want to stir up trouble instead of helping sometimes like when he nearly tipped off the senator and secretary that they were being tricked. That’s exactly what you don’t do in that situation.

Senator Chapman is an interesting character as he’s technically a good guy and trying to figure out what’s going on but he functions as an antagonist here. After all he’s from the past and doesn’t know anything about the future. The main characters aren’t too forthcoming on that front so they come across as being extremely suspicious. I don’t even blame him for drawing a gun later on because from his point of view they’ve just taken him to a deserted island and there is no guarantee that he would ever get off. It’s just a shame that everything turned sideways so nobody really got to win.

Laurel was also reasonable here. She has a pet dog to worry about which is stressful and the whole situation is overwhelming but she does her best in coming to terms with it. I’d ay she did a better job of that than most characters would in her place. So the side characters were fun and the exchanges with past and future characters is really what you’re here for. That’s why it’s a shame that this isn’t the focus. I want to see them change the past and what repercussions come of that. The fact that they waited so long to help the Americans on the boat was also a shame since fatalities happened before they could step in.

You have to fight injustice no matter what era you are in. So when over 40 minutes is just the characters sitting around and talking it feels like a big build up to something that never really happens. I was really surprised when the film just ended all of a sudden. I can tell you that it was not the ending I had been expecting for the film at all. It’s all a cop out but I’ve said this several times already so lets not get too repetitive here. Even with the ending I still enjoyed the film quite a bit. The dialogue is smart and the premise is still really interesting. I’d absolutely like to see someone else take a crack at this and it’s why I love time travel in general. It opens the door to so many different storylines and possibilities. Particularly a war setting since 30 years can be a difference of night and day in terms of firepower and utility.

Overall, The Final Countdown has a climax that never actually occurs which does hurt the film a bit and completely obliterates its replay value. That said, it is still a very suspenseful watch for 90% of the feature so that’s enough for me to recommend it. The film even does have a quick fight scene but that one was a bit forced since the villain never should have been in a situation to grab the gun. That was just sloppy of the heroes, they should have worked a bit harder/smarter to prevent that from happening. Even the gun scuffle near the end wasn’t a great look. At the end of the day if you underestimate your opponent you will absolutely get burned.

Overall 7/10