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The Protector Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a Jackie Chan film that doesn’t really come close to hanging with most of his other films. It’s got the martial arts and parkour at times but everything about it feels basic at best. It goes through the motions like having Billy’s partner get bumped off almost immediately but the film tends to falter throughout.

The movie starts with something out of a futuristic sci-fi dystopia as people wearing weird costumes beat up a truck driver and get away with something. After that we cut to Billy and Michael who were having a normal drive and a beer when some punks showed up and try to steal Michael’s stuffed animal that he bought for his kid. They end up murdering the guy while Billy avenges him. This causes the Billy to get demoted. Things don’t get much better for him as Laura, the daughter of a big gangster is kidnapped while under his watch. Billy and his new partner Danny are sent to Hong Kong to find her and crack the case but it involves multiple gangs and big crime families. Looks like we have a conspiracy on our hands.

One of the big problems with Billy and Danny is that they mess around way too much. We have a big kidnapping case going on right here with someone who is missing and could be murdered at any moment. Yet immediately they’re going to massage parlors and messing around. Yeah you could say this has to do with their mission and they’re gathering info but lets be real, that’s not on their mind at all. They should have died there but the villains slipped up.

Now you might be thinking, James Bond would make that mistake as well right? Yeah and that’s why he has to rely on plot armor all the time. These two do more of the same the whole time and can’t keep up with the banter either. The writing is only okay here and doesn’t stack up with the average thriller either.

Now there are some positives I can say at least. The fight scenes that we get are actually pretty good. The martial arts are still on point and the choreography does not disappoint. If the film could have focused on this the whole time then there would really have been no problem. Of course that wasn’t the case and not much point worrying about what ifs.

The music is also fairly good. Some reasonably solid tracks in there. Fast paced tunes that fit with the scenes and so I don’t have any issues there. In terms of technicals, the film wasn’t bad. It was just let down by everything else. The film has to resort to fanservice because the story wasn’t strong enough which is always a massive red flag. It’s not the kind of thing that a really good film ever has to resort to. Yet this film does that more than once because it knows everyone was probably fast asleep otherwise.

The movie’s tone is also all over the place. Sometimes it is playing things seriously with a lot of danger and adventure going on and then other times it is trying to be a light hearted comedy. It tends to not handle the mix well with the characters being too goofy during a serious moment and vice versa. Again there’s no real urgency on the main duo’s part despite the fact that Laura is still out there somewhere.

Now you may be thinking, at least we’ve got a really big conspiracy here involving a lot of factions so that should keep you interested? Well, it goes in all of the most generic ways possible so that defeats the purpose. Are the Hong Kong cops corrupt as always?? Hmmmm.

Now I’m not going to say that you will see every plot point coming ahead of time or anything like that. That’s definitely not happening but you’re just not going to be all that engaged. It all starts from the top with the characters and then trickles down to every other aspect of the movie like the weak plot. It’s too bad that Michael was bumped off in the first scene because I think he would have made for a much better partner than Danny in the second half. Trust me on this, there’s just a world of difference there.

None of the villains ever get all that memorable either. For the most part it’s not like most of them can fight. We at least do have one big fighter on the villain side who gives Billy a run for his money. That ends up being a good battle and a solid way to end the film off. This is the kind of film that does have actual positives that I can point to which is good. It’s not an awful film or anything like that but it absolutely makes enough missteps where it won’t be mistaken for a good movie either. This really shouldn’t be that hard either, just avoid the fanservice and stick to a lot of fights. Have the heroes be cocky and overconfident but they still need to be focused on their mission at all times at least until they’ve rescued the heroine.

Overall, The Protector probably isn’t the best title for this film. Billy lets his partner get bumped off in the first scene and then the main heroine gets kidnapped, and then even his new partner gets kidnapped. The guy’s too busy messing around to really be protecting much of anything. Yeah Danny was usually the bad influence here but Billy wasn’t really doing anything to stop him now was he? I’ve just seen way better thrillers with this kind of kidnapping plot and pretty much all of Jackie Chan’s other films are better so in the end that doesn’t leave much for this one. I’d say to give it a skip.

Overall 4/10

Sweet Smell of Success Review

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It’s time for a film about corruption and how far reporters will go to get their story. When you’re watching a noir film it can be hit or miss on if the main character is likable or one of the actual villains. In this case it’s definitely the latter as there is no place he won’t sink to in order to get further in his career. The rest of the film is solid enough but the main guy really sinks the whole thing. He just gets away with too much and the whole time you keep wishing the characters would be a little more alert on what’s going on.

The film starts off with Sidney being upset because he was given a bad tip about Susan and Steve breaking up. The fact is that they have not broken up and are even more serious about each other. This is a problem because Sidney works for Susan’s brother JJ who has ordered him to end the relationship. He does not want Susan with anybody and if Sidney does not succeed then he will be out of a job. How can Sidney pull this off without destroying his social relationship or making it too obvious though?

Obviously from the start Sidney already shouldn’t be taking this gig. He’s just too desperate to get in good with JJ since the guy is the most influential person in the newspaper business. The guy controls the media and that is where Sidney wants to work but what he has long since lost sight of is that it all won’t matter if he’s lost all his morals before then.

The guy’s a two timer and he’s also willing to sell off his friends to score. He pressures one girl into having a one night stand with one of JJ’s friends and while the guy had been doing pretty badly from the start, this was definitely the lowest moment for him. This is why you’re rooting for his downfall.

JJ makes for an interesting villain. He really talks a good game the whole time. He has taken years to build up his influence and do whatever he can in order to keep that power. So by this point he already has a lot of connections which makes it hard to take him down. By the same token he does have a ton of skeletons in the closet which can be dug up by anybody who has enough time to do so. That’s the thing he really has to keep in mind here. He continues to dig his own grave by trying to mess up Susan’s relationship. If he had just stayed away then he would not be in these problems right now.

As for Susan, she also lets herself get pushed around a little too much. She needed to directly fight back against JJ and Sidney instead of even entertaining what they were saying. Likewise with Steve he needed to grab her and either get out of there or have some long talks first so nothing could break them apart. Ultimately things go well but they very nearly didn’t. If Sidney had ended up jumping then there would have been no way to come back from that. In these films people seem to lose so much power when anyone brings in the blackmail which is a shame. You’ve got to be able to take it or if not, just don’t give enemies any ammo anyway.

JJ has Sidney mess with a lot of people in the film. Some fight against the blackmail by exposing their own crimes like the guy who was cheating while others fall in line. This guy is just a big newspaper editor though. At the end of the day it’s not like he’s a big gangster. JJ may have one of the cop under his payroll but you still feel like people should be able to fight against him a lot easier.

At the end of the day JJ is really just manipulating everyone like pieces on the chess board. Even when in most cases the other person knows JJ is no good, they just aren’t able to make a move. They stand there puzzled and unsure of what to do. By the time they act, it’s simply too late and that kind of thing happens a whole lot. The film does have a fight scene of sorts at the very end, it tends to be more of a beat down but yeah we got the action there. It’s all just a bit too late like I said before. I needed the tables to turn before it was all too late. Instead we’re already past the point of no return so at that point there’s just not much to say.

I can still give the film some props because it is very engaging. You are wondering how things are going to end as the film goes on. Right up to the point where Sidney forced his friend to be with that one old guy, the film was really hitting its stride. The script was very clever and the writing was really intense. It’s a film that leaves an impact on you. One quick turn here or there and we’d really be looking at a completely different title.

Overall, Sweet Smell of Success is an interesting film about how the demands keep going up as you throw away your morals. There is no real end point and by the end you are too far gone to really make a comeback. It’s just all over at that point. It’s too bad that Rita didn’t defy Sidney in the end and refuse to have the stand. That would have definitely helped make the whole film more enjoyable. Unfortunately the pressure was just too much in this instance. The script is really solid between the characters but you do have to get past this part in order to enjoy the film which is pretty much impossible there.

Overall 3/10

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Review

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It’s time for a sci-fi film that isn’t afraid to get rather crazy. It starts off with a really crazy dolphin song and that sets the tone for what’s to come. That’s a good thing though because Sci-Fi shouldn’t be afraid to go all out. It’s one of the things that can make the genre really fun and all. That said, I wouldn’t say this one always succeeds in the humor and everything so it can be a bit hit or miss.

The film starts off with Arthur protesting the demolition of his house. His friend Ford shows up though and explains that it doesn’t matter because the Earth is going to blow up. He’s an alien too after all. He helps Arthur escape into space where they’re tortured, meet different clans, and now have to…try and save the universe? Can that be right? What can some random Earthling do? Time to find out!

Arthur’s definitely not the best character though. He’s a little too desperate and slow on the uptake. Considering that he met an alien early on and is then told a crazy story you’d think he would be ready. Instead he is still worried about his car for a while even when the planet is about to be destroyed. Also, his almost girlfriend Tricia dumps him for an alien but he hasn’t been able to fully get past his feelings?

He only knew her for 5 minutes with a drink and she was already talking about travelling across the globe. It’s clear that she wasn’t serious about him so he should have just moved on quick too. Meeting someone while you’re both drunk at a party is definitely not going to put you in a good position for success in a romance if we’re being honest here.

It doesn’t even feel like Tricia likes Zaphod all that much and is really in it for the space travel. She always liked travelling on Earth after all and in space you’ve got billions of times more space here. I wouldn’t say the whole thing reflects great on her either but hey she’s following her dream and not just floating through everything the way Arthur is.

Zaphod is fun though, he has a good time with the whole plot. I do like how he is wearing a suit that looks like him and just keeps on popping up. That’s a great example of a gimmick that stays funny throughout the movie. Yeah he has his serious moments by the end and all but he’s at his best when he’s just messing around the whole time.

Marvin is a depressed robot who is with the crew the whole time but his gimmick gets old a little fast. There’s not a whole lot you can do with that gimmick after a while. He gets to help out and does his best but ehhhhhhh, you don’t really need him. It does give us a chance to see a character who is even sadder than Arthur though.

He’s a good example of the film itself though which starts out a lot stronger than it finishes. Because he does have a good array of fun lines at first where that jaded spirit of his really works well. Ford was a better side character in the end. He was really helpful the whole time and without him the characters would have been doomed.

One of the main plots that comes up later on is about the ultimate question and ultimate answer. So in one of the film’s crazy exposition moments it turns out that the universe finally found out the ultimate answer to life itself thanks to a super computer. The problem is that it was just a number, 42. They now need another computer to answer that but there’s a whole lot of time that you need for this and only one computer can handle this.

It’s a pretty solid subversion since usually the whole film would be about finding the answer to life but instead we are given that from the start. I also like the idea of the answer itself being ultimately pointless. Cmon that’s gotta get a smile out of you at least. The journey is like the answer though, the question itself is not all that important. It’s just the plot device to get the characters onto a bunch of planets and to meet lots of different aliens.

In some ways it feels a lot like Stat Trek. It’s more about the exploration than big battles or anything like that. Throw in some dry humor that tends to work well for this type of story and the film does have a solid approach. When it comes time for the more serious plots though…not as solid. I already talked a bit about the romance but it’s really sub par here. Arthur’s just too desperate and even if Tricia was just hanging out with this guy to an extent, it sure seemed like they were in a real relationship. The guy would smack her on the backside and everything so yeah Arthur needed to have the willpower to walk away. It makes the ending more on the underwhelming side. There’s also a quick rushed romance for Zaphod that just comes out of the blue.

That’s not the kind of thing that would really hurt the film’s score or anything but yeah that could have been handled better. The movie does have really good special effects once action is happening though. The laser guns look good, Marvin’s robot design is super good as well. It looks really lifelike and you’ve also got the change gun that transforms items seamlessly. The dolphin song may have been rather bad but I choose to believe that was intentional as a gag so hey it is what it is.

Overall, I’d say this was a good film. I think the humor works more than it doesn’t. What keeps it from being higher is something that generally tends to happen to some comedic films. The second half starts to drag on a little bit, the film overstays its welcome and could have shaved off like 20 minutes or so. They did get to reach a lot of planets as a result so I get why they wanted the film to be long, but it just lost a bit of steam at times. A film like this can only last as long as the novelty factor and after a while the craziness of everything doesn’t really phase you. I would still recommend checking this out if you like sci-fi and comedic/parody type films. This one has a lot of fun poking fun at everything which makes the humor really accessible I’d say. Everyone should find at least some of the gags funny I’d expect.

Overall 6/10

Cleaner Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Cleaner is one of those films that definitely has a unique premise. You’re not usually watching a film about the clean-up crew after murders. Usually you follow the hero or have to stop the murderer but the cleaner himself? Not really so that made for an interesting change of pace.

The story follows a cleaner named Tom. He’s known as the best in the business. He has his own unique set of cleaning materials and formulas which can make the crime scene perfect right away. He employs others who really need a job like his employee Miguel who is doing his best but sometimes the stress gets to him. Well, one day Tom cleans up a place after a murder as normal and heads home, but the next day when he’s dropping off a key, the lady of the house, Ann does not recognize him or know that a cleaning took place. It would appear that the murder isn’t even public knowledge yet. Tom has possibly been set up here and he needs to find the truth right away!

The main mystery plot is pretty solid but the subplots and drama around that are not so good. First up, you have his daughter Rose who wants to learn more about her mother. Tom’s wife was murdered many years back and he’s still holding a lot of trauma over it so he refuses to tell her anything. It just feels like very forced drama here. They get it right by the end but it just takes too long. I don’t think this plot really needed to be in the film.

Since this is a mystery you do have to have suspects of course. That said, there aren’t a lot of options here and I think in a way that’s because the film is fairly short. The first suspect will be Ann. Mainly the reason she would be a suspect is for the plot twist and shock value of it because otherwise it wouldn’t make a whole lot of sense. Still, you have to consider everyone and she is pressing Tom really hard about what happened. Is she worried about her husband’s disappearance or is she trying to get Tom to admit he was at the scene of the crime and get him taken down?

Suspect number 2 is good ole Eddie. He’s Tom’s friend from a long time ago. The guy has made detective now and is still involved in cases occasionally although he doesn’t get along with the main police homicide unit. This guy’s super helpful all the time and always there to support Tom so of course that is something that puts him on the suspect list. When someone’s too nice you just can’t trust them like that.

Finally you have Vargas. That guy doesn’t really trust anybody and is a rather aggressive person so he tends to put people on edge. He seems to be ready to snap at any moment so naturally this guy appears to be a suspect, but is it all too obvious? That’s always the question you have to ask yourself about this. I will say he is one of the more enjoyable characters to have around though. I always like when a character just rushes in to cause damage and do his job. He’s not trying to make friends, he’s just here to complete his mission.

There is also a big criminal conspiracy going on led by a guy named Vaughn. This ties into Tom’s backstory. The guy has paid off tons of people and seems to own the city from the shadows. It’s certainly possible that they are doing something to mess with Tom here. Or perhaps nothing here concerns Tom at all and the husband really was the target. There’s no guarantee that Tom is even a target in this at all. He may have just been a useful pawn.

Now as the film deals with cleaning up a crime scene there are definitely lots of shots of blood and remains throughout the film. I wouldn’t say it’s too brutal or anything but there are quite a lot of scenes of this so definitely something to keep in mind. It’s not all that violent in terms of active moments but the crime scenes are intense and of course you have to have the obligatory origin story for Tom.

The ending does make you feel bad for the daughter though because you know there’s going to be some extra trauma for her now. And she was already dealing with quite a bit of that. The final fight in general is definitely not super impressive though so I should say if you’re watching this for the fights…it’s not the best idea. The film does have some good music and makes things sound epic but there are no fights here. You get a slow motion shove which I thought was funny but for the most part this is mystery and drama first.

Overall, Cleaner is a reasonably solid mystery thriller. I was engaged with gathering the clues and seeing how it would all pan out. There are definitely a lot of twists and turns as the film goes on. Not a whole lot of innocent characters by the end of this since everyone gets bogged down by past crimes, corruption, or what’s going on currently. I have a feeling most people haven’t even heard of this film so definitely a fun little title if you’re looking for something new. It’s just not going to stick out in your memory by the end because there are many better thrillers out there.

Overall 6/10

The Abyss Review

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The Abyss is one of the more disappointing movies of recent memory. It has a really cool sounding name and a really good premise with some kind of monster out there ready to wreck havoc. It has all of the fundamentals of a good movie but the problem? It’s borrrrrrring! The monster has one of the worst designs since E.T. and there isn’t a sense of danger from the supernatural. All that leaves us with is the human dangers which are not nearly as compelling.

The film starts off with a bunch of people getting wrecked underwater. Bud’s team is sent to the wreckage to check things out and save what they can. The problem is that Bud’s team isn’t trained for this kind of thing. They’re oil drillers, not NAVY seal operators. So a Navy team is sent down with them but they don’t play well with others. Additionally, they seem to be keeping quite a few secrets. At this rate it might be internal strife that destroys everyone.

So back to the main problem, you’re waiting for these mysterious aliens to show up for the whole film. They finally do some stuff at the very end of the movie but that’s about it. They miss around 90% of the adventure and this doesn’t play out like your classic creature feature. The monsters aren’t running around blowing everyone up or shooting energy blasts. They mainly fly around at super speeds and act whimsical. They are clearly not mindless but their impact within the film basically falls into that range.

I was expecting a whole lot more to them so this ended up being pretty underwhelming. The film messed up on the atmosphere and so I would have cut out the supernatural stuff entirely. It’s not like it adds much to the film and if you removed it, then it wouldn’t even be a distraction. Then you can focus on all of the drama that you want. Not a bad proposition right? Then right from the start you have your expectations in check. I don’t think that would suddenly make this a good movie but it wouldn’t be quite so disappointing.

Bud is the main character here and a lot of the film is about the tension he has with his wife Lindsey. The two don’t get along at all anymore but they have to put aside their differences to team up here. It’s a fun enough plot but the romance itself is definitely a weak link. They seriously don’t get along so it’s hard to see that spark reforming. I would have been satisfied if they just became friends again or something.

That said, Lindsey does have a moment where she looks pretty bad considering that she’s supposed to be a genius. At one point she is talking tough to the Navy Seals and trying to rush them which nearly gets her murdered twice. Bud has to hold her back because the guy clearly has a gun and even without it he could easily defeat her. So that’s a case where she really wasn’t thinking ahead. It almost forced Bud into a fight where all of his men would have been murdered as well.

Bud does get his big fight near the end though where he gets to show his stuff. He puts up a good fight although he definitely whiffed on his big surprise attack move. If he had just moved a little faster and gone ahead with the strike then he might have won it all right there. Fortunately his friend was around with the mighty haymaker punch. That guy was definitely handy to have around. In general I would say that the crew was okay, not too many characters to write home about but they weren’t bad or anything.

The villains are a bit more on the one note side. The submarine and the stress make them go crazy so they actually resort to wanting to use a bomb that could blow everyone up. The villain is definitely annoying but his partner isn’t much better since he just watches and yells the whole time. At the end of the day if you’re helping the main villain then you are just as guilty even if you aren’t doing much of anything.

At least it was fun to see the government being rather shady as always. From the start this seemed like it would not be a very good idea with how fast the government was scrambling. Clearly they were holding something back but at the same time they were willing to pay triple for this mission which is incredibly hard to turn down. That’s not money that you are able to easily earn after all and you have to assume that in most cases this would have gone without a hitch. There would have been no conspiracies or aliens. If that had been the case then I suppose I’d be singing a different tune right now.

The film at least embraces the sci-fi angle a bit near the very end of the movie. We have some crazy visuals like out of 2001 with Bud flying around. It’s all rather trippy and the ending had potential there but alas then the film ends. It really should have tried having some of this stuff right out of the gate you know? That would have been way better because I’m always up for an alien film. Just make the alien invaders tough with a good design.

Overall, The Abyss really doesn’t live up to the name. It’s crazy that such a great name would be wasted on this movie. There are so many better names that you could have chosen here and all of them would have been infinitely better. The movie doesn’t make many big mistakes but the fact that it can be boring at times is a huge knock against the film. You never want to be bored even for an instant. The film either should have thrown in some more humor to give me some laughs, cooler creatures that have a lot of screen time, or given us some time outside of the ship. I would have liked to have heard more about the tensions with Russia that’s apparently in the uncut version and you can cut out some of the slower paced scenes here instead.

Overall 4/10

The Bad News Bears in Breaking Training Review

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It’s time for the return of the Bad News Bears! Unfortunately they have lost all of their skills from the last film so in a way you could almost treat this as a pseudo remake/reboot instead. As you’d probably expect, the most entertaining characters tend to be the adults while the kids can be more on the annoying side. There is definitely a lot of in fighting among the kids as they all get in each other’s way. They are not a well oiled machine.

The movie starts with a lot of Bad News for the Bears. Their coach is gone along with their top tier pitcher and also their best overall player. They’re going to be travelling to Texas to take on one of the best teams out there but as they are now they would be absolutely crushed. So they have to do something about this but what is there to do? Well, first thing’s first, they are going to need a coach. Kelly has a plan on this and meets up with his father Mike hoping that he can help. The two have a very strained relationship as Mike left the family and it’s been years since they met up. Mike agrees to help out but is Kelly actually okay with this?

In a lot of ways Kelly is probably the most annoying character here. I say that because he asked Mike for help and Mike agreed to do it. That should have been the end of it but then you have Kelly still throwing fits and not being sure if this is what he really wants. Mike decided to be the bigger guy and help out, Kelly should be grateful about this. You don’t have to be best friends or anything like that but I would at least expect some basic common courtesies and respect. Instead Kelly is just super ungrateful during the entire film. At the end he has his big emotional moment where he admits that he would have went looking for Mike even without the baseball experience and I have my doubts on that. So it undercuts the emotional vale of the moment just a bit.

We do get a lot of Baseball so that’s good at least. It’s a little rough to see the main team doing so poorly though. They get absolutely smoked at first which doesn’t make much sense. Yes, without their star pitcher they will give up more runs but they can’t even hit the ball anymore. That’s just plain embarrassing. Maybe the team isn’t quite as into Baseball as they try to get us to believe. They’re just in it for the fame and fortune.

It would also be nice if they could actually get along for 20 minutes without always trying to fight each other right away. There are so many moments in the film where the characters are on the bus and just start fighting each other. It always has to be broken up and you are reminded that the players are not very professional at the moment.

I felt bad for their fake coach who they manipulated in order to leave town though. The poor guy wasn’t actually invited to go along and was probably stressed the whole time. After all it would be easy for any parent to run into him and then what can he say? The guy was not particularly smart which is part of why he was easy to fool but by the same token that means it would be easy for him to spill the beans as well.

The film can also go into some rather generic territories. For example there is one kid who talks really tough throughout the movie. He’s the new pitcher and one of the best in the business. Well, of course it turns out that he can’t play. In fact he can’t even pitch a slow ball. He is possibly the worst player there at first and that’s rough. So that was definitely a bit much, I’d have preferred that the tough talking kid be someone who can actually hold his own. In a way that would have been a good twist.

Now I will say that the climax is pretty solid though. The idea that the kids’ match would be grounded so the adults could play does feel like something that could happen. I wouldn’t be shocked at least since the average fan wouldn’t care about the kids game too much. Sure there would be a lot of outrage and a public apology later on but in the moment? Yeah that could happen but I was glad that everyone united to stick up for the kids. It was a good climax and solid way to end things.

Ultimately the movie is just a bit more aimless than the first film. The first Bad News Bears had a very solid plot with an interesting angle and we got a good film out of that. This one is trying to copy a lot of the same plot elements which don’t work quite as well the second time around. Some of the plots are new like Kelly and Mike but that one wasn’t executed super well. I felt like a lot of the reasons that Kelly was made at him made no real sense. It was forced drama to extend the film and you didn’t really need that. Give us more scenes of Mike training the team so they can be a solid unit instead. That would have been better.

Overall, Bad News Bears 2 is an okay movie but probably not one I would really want to rewatch. It’s not bad but it does come across as rather pointless at times. You feel like there just has to be more to this film than what you’re seeing but then that doesn’t change as the film ends. There were some good ideas in concept but they just weren’t executed. The film is also a little restricted since most of the characters are kids and they don’t tend to be nearly as interesting. You just need to really enjoy the kids having their little banters and skirmishes. Otherwise this will definitely not be keeping up and I would recommend you watch most other mainstream Baseball films instead.

Overall 5/10

The Sandlot Review

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The Sandlot is one of those films that I would say has not aged very well. It ends up being more annoying than anything with all of the kids being rather obnoxious. The whole time you are waiting for them to change into better characters and it doesn’t really happen. Hey, they’re all rather young so you can cut them some slack but even so, I just expected better out of these guys. There’s also not enough baseball here which definitely hurts.

The movie starts with Scott moving to a new town again. It’s been rather tough for him to make friends as a result but he gives it his best effort. He heads to the local park where the kids are playing Baseball and tries to fit in but the problem is that he doesn’t actually know how to play. They eventually teach him and now they’re all one big unit. The question is, are they good influences…or bad ones?? Only time will tell.

Okay so right out of the gate the biggest problem here is that none of the kids are likable. They’re all super annoying and constantly getting into trouble. It’s quite telling that they were all super mean to Scott until he learned how to play. The main kid had to rig the game to have the others even give him a shot. It makes you wonder how many other kids they bullied. Yeah Scott was no good at the game but it’s still not a reason to be mean like that.

Then we have the whole lifeguard scene which is the low point of the film. The kid pretends to drown and tricks her which all of the other kids find to be hilarious and even something to be admired. No, that’s just an awful moment and shows that all of the kids are morally bankrupt. It’s just rough and you know that these kids could and should do better. So the film is ticking all of the wrong boxes here and it’s tough because they be getting away with all of this with no real repercussions. That’s another problem right here. If they were getting punished or yelled at then they could at least have some character development but that never happens.

The film also takes the low road of crude humor later on. We have kids barfing and it’s definitely not what you’re trying to see here. These scenes don’t exactly enhance your cinematic experience. Again, where’s the character development? Where are the fun scenes? They are nowhere to be found. To really show that the kids haven’t learned much about being responsible, Scot steals his step father’s baseball with a super rare signature. Things don’t go very well there and the whole thing was Scott’s fault.

I wasn’t super thrilled with how the ending played out. The chase scene with the big dog could have been fun but the whole time you are worried that the dog is going to get injured and of course he does. So that’s just writing in a terrible scene. The dog was really cool and I liked how much power he had in every scene but he should have ended the climax without any real injuries. Now that would have been a good way to close things out. At least I will say that the montage of coming up with ideas to get past the dog was easily the best part of the film. This was a time where the film was actually entertaining even if it wasn’t for long.

I already mentioned the most of the worst moments of the film so I guess all I can say about this is that otherwise the film just could get kind of boring. You weren’t as invested in the various characters and scenes as you could have been because of the characters. Even when they picked a fight with another group, I was rooting for them to lose because in the banter I felt like the main characters were being a lot meaner about it.

Another issue with the climax of the film is how things went for the neighbor. He’s a nice guy to be sure but losing his prized possession ball to give to some irresponsible kids wasn’t great. I know the step Dad will take good care of it but the neighbor is the one who really earned it. I know it’s supposed to be more on the heart warming side but I thought it was just plain annoying. The kids didn’t really deserve that.

Most of the film is also really focused on the kids so the subplot about Scott feeling awkward around his Step Dad doesn’t get a lot of focus. On one hand he is hoping to bond so they can be friends but on the other hand Scott is really bad at the whole Baseball thing at first. The fact that he can’t even throw is rather rough since he runs the ball over. I don’t think Bill hit Scott in the face with the ball on purpose though. Bill could have been gentler and better with the throws but I think generally he just wasn’t sure how to teach at all. He was also just shocked at how bad Scott was. Usually you at least have some fundamentals but this time he didn’t.

The only good kid in the film is Benny. He never makes fun of Scott and really helped him to fit in from the start. He stayed humble all the way through even though he was the best player. Benny was the only one brave enough to confront the dog in the end and he has a real sense of responsibility. He almost felt out of place next to all of the other kids who could only think about their own agendas. So yeah I wanted to give him a shoutout because in all fairness he was a legitimately good character.

Overall, The Sandlot isn’t really my kind of film and that’s to be expected. Generally I am not a big fan of coming of age type movies. Usually that’s because a film like this is pretty much guaranteed to have annoying characters. Part of the whole point is to have the characters learn some lessons about life as they grow up. That’s great, it means that the ending should usually be good but you will also have to be enduring the main cast for the whole film leading up to that which is a much taller order. It’s just not going to work because a film should be good for most of its scenes, not just at the very end. That’s where this one falters big time.

Overall 3/10

Robin Hood Review

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Robin Hood is one of those franchises that I’ve never really been into. The concept of a hero who steals from the rich to give to the poor is a fun one. It’s like a vigilante who is redistributing the wealth as he sees fit. Fortunately the rich people are usually super corrupt and awful or else there would be a lot of moral issues with this. That being said, the animated film has a lot more fun with the concept than the other movies. It’s easily the definitive Robin Hood film if you ask me.

The film starts off by introducing us to Robin Hood who has outsmarted the authorities yet again. He’s been doing this for years and is an expert at escaping although the cops are slowly getting a little better. Robin Hood intends to keep up this life for a while but he ends up falling for Lady Marian and wants to impress her now. What better way than messing with the corrupt royalty and embarrassing them at every turn? The dangerous part of this is the higher up he goes in the food chain, the more forces they will arm up to stop him. Has he just stirred up a hornet’s nest?

Right off the bat I thought the animation was really good. Everything looks sharp and super vibrant from the quick character motions to the backdrops. There is a lot of attention to detail here. There also isn’t a lot of songs for a musical type film but I did like one of the villain’s songs. That was definitely good. On a technical level this film holds up extremely well. It’s why I like this kind of animation style because it never goes away or gets stale. Instead in 20 years it will still look as good.

Then we have the writing which has a lot of clever dialogue the whole time. The banter between all of the characters is really solid. The only one that is a bit try hard is the main villain who is super incompetent and that’s his entire gimmick. He gets suckered all the time while his poor snake ally is constantly trying to help him out. I would have liked the Prince to have been ever so slightly more competent. I get the dynamic they were going for here but it’s not the most entertaining one because it is so lopsided. Give Robin Hood a little more competition against a foe who is more skilled and then we can really be talking.

The Sheriff was a great villain though. He has a masterful scene where he really takes it to Robin Hood. So Robin is disguised as a panhandler and is asking for money. So the sheriff expertly tosses a gold coin into his cup at the perfect angle to also cause his second gold coin to fall out of the cup. So as a result the sheriff has both coins while Robin Hood has none. Hood had his own plan and gets his immediate revenge but I thought that was brilliant. It was the most memorable scene to me after I had finished the film. You just don’t forget a moment like that. I wish he had been the main villain of the whole thing.

John just couldn’t compete. I liked his snake partner though even if he was mostly just taking Ls the whole time. Robin Hood’s partner John was fun enough. I don’t think he ever becomes quite as entertaining as Robin Hood was but he’s still nice enough. It’s always important to have at least one friend on your journeys or you will really feel very alone. As for the heroine Marian, she was nice enough. I may say that the romance in the film was a bit cheesy at times but at least it wasn’t all that rushed. A lot of time passes by over the course of the film and it helps this romance to beat the average one. I still wouldn’t call it the gold standard of anything but it doesn’t bring the movie down.

I would say the most effective part of the film is just that it’s a lot of fun. A lot of times in a Robin Hood movie the main issue is that it can be a bit boring. Sometimes they will also fall into the trap of animal violence but the mot common issue is that it’s just not very interesting and that’s a really bad position to be in. When you’re boring then it is very hard to save the film. This one dodged that immediately with the really solid humor. Most of the jokes really land here.

I would say that the animation helps to back up the jokes because the really expressive style just works really well. It still would not be enough on its own but when you add everything up then it is really a winning formula. I still won’t be all that hyped if there’s an announcement for a new Robin Hood film but if the announcement is that this one in particular is getting a sequel then I would be on board with that. That would have some real potential and the premise lends itself well to sequels. There’s no reason you would ever really have to stop making Robin Hood movies. You could even have Lady Marian join in as a partner/sidekick on his future missions.

Overall, Robin Hood is a pretty good film and I would recommend checking it out. The pacing is on point and the whole movie really flies by. I suppose it helps that the film is really short in general so it’s not like it was going to drag on either way. The film is well crafted and a lot of effort was clearly put into it. It really does its best to try and convince you that Robin Hood is actually a good franchise. If all of the films were like this one then I suppose is would be a really good one.

Overall 7/10

The Evil Eye Review

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The Evil Eye is one of those films that is going for the title for style points as opposed to it being really tied to the narrative. It’s a pretty interesting noir title and one that isn’t afraid to get rather absurd at some points as well. The strangeness of the whole film is part of the appeal and it works pretty well. I wouldn’t call it one of the strongest titles in the genre but I had a good time.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Nora who has arrived in Italy to take care of her aunt. Unfortunately her aunt dies almost immediately but not before Nora gets to meet Doctor Marcello and flirt with him a bit. Nora heads outside to let the doctor know about her aunt but ends up getting robbed and knocked out during the fight. When Nora wakes up she sees someone getting murdered and quickly faints again. By the time she wakes up the cops think that she fainted due to having too much to drink. For some reason she smells strongly of alcohol. Marcello frees Nora but doesn’t seem to totally believe her. There is only one possible explanation…Nora is a psychic who can see murders from 10 years in the past! Will she be able to stay alive in the present?

There’s a whole conspiracy going on with the alphabet killer who hasn’t murdered anyone in 10 years and yet Nora might be the next target. While Nora is in a packed area, people tend to vanish when she needs them the most and she is also a bit of a mystery. She flirts with Marcello a whole lot but at the same time doesn’t seem to want to progress their relationship and usually just leaves him frustrated at the door while she goes off to take a nap. The whole romance ends up being rather weak as a result. It leads to Marcello deciding to make his bold move and press the point which could have easily led him straight to jail if Nora wasn’t so accommodating.

I always think that’s going rather far. If Nora doesn’t want to do anything then they have to talk about it, you don’t just make the big move and hope for the best. That’s not how these thing go. Marcello also just seems a bit annoying in general. How are you going to go after the niece of the lady you were watching over on her death bed just like that? You’d figure there would at least be a long mourning period first or something like that. There’s also no real time for this when a murderer is on the loose.

I do tend to enjoy all of the random fake outs and jump scares here though. It feels like people are always sneaking up on Nora. Then you have random flirts running after her and you always know if this person is a fake or not based on how Nora reacts. If she is super scared and backing up then it’s the real deal but if she charges forward and knocks him out then it’s a fake. It almost feels rigged because every time she musters up the courage to do something, it ends up being for nothing.

Nora can also be a bit oblivious at times like with the one guy who is really handsy with her at the diner. Marcello’s also too timid and just plays passive aggressive the whole time instead of telling the guy to knock it off. You have to have the dignity to tell these people off and I also have to give Nora a hard time about this. The whole scene just makes you roll your eyes there.

As for the climax, it’s a bit more low key than I would have thought. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting but I suppose more of a big fight or some kind of fakeout with how odd the rest of the film could be. Instead it’s played rather straight with a twist thrown in there. I do think it would be reasonably difficult to guess who the culprit is though so the film did good there. The cast is small but at the same time the movie still covers its tracks pretty well.

I think the best out of the random segments is when the main heroine wakes up in the hospital and everyone is talking over her as if she is some kind of medical experiment. It’s playing out in such a way where you figure she is dreaming but then the main doctor walks in so she calls for him. Suddenly they’re out on a date in the very next instant so we know that this actually happened. There are a few moments like this where you figure it has to be a dream and instead what happens is this actually played out exactly how it looked. It certainly takes you for a loop but in a fun way.

The film’s music even gets randomly happy at times. Nora will be spooked and someone will have just died and suddenly we have happy music playing in the background. Or she’s getting close to a clue and suddenly she’s at the beach having fun. This film actively avoids using transitions which is why the changes are so sudden. It works well though and shows that the film has a whole lot of range at its disposal and isn’t afraid to switch things up.

Overall, The Evil Eye’s random moments help to give it a bit of an edge in terms of how well you will remember it. At the same time, it feels like this is also done in part because the movie knows that the mystery itself won’t be enough to have this film make it into the big leagues. I’d recommend checking it out but it’s probably not a movie that you will need to check out a second time. One adventure here will be enough.

Overall 6/10

Escape Room: Tournament of Champions Review

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Escape Room 2 immediately makes me think of the second Maze Runner film. Sure the heroes may have survived the room the first time but can they do it a second time? The film does a pretty good job of bringing back the fun elements from the first film and I dare say that it even surpasses the original. There are a lot of great fakeouts here and the stakes definitely go even higher. My only complaint is that some of the characters don’t actually feel like champions.

The basic plot is that Zoey wants to crush the evil organization in charge of the escape rooms once and for all. Ben doesn’t think that this is a good idea but there’s no way he can say no to her so they head on over to NYC. Unfortunately they are mugged almost immediately which leads them to a train. Now if anyone knows the MTA, they know this was a lethal mistake. It’s not sick passengers or train delays that will get the best of them though, the whole car is instead being overloaded with electricity. The other passengers seem upset but not as panicked as they should be. Why? This isn’t their first rodeo! Each character here has won the Escape Room challenge in the past so this time the battle is between champions. Who will win the right to their continued existence this time?

I love the concept of this of course. This time you’re fighting with the cream of the crop and no scrubs allowed. Most of the puzzles are team based challenges so it’s not so much about being left behind but making any mistakes will cost you everything. So everyone should be very strategic since it’s unlikely that someone who was carried the whole time would win. The problem is…in this movie at least two of the characters don’t seem all that smart. So lets talk about the cast real quick.

Of course we know Zoey and Ben from the first film so there’s not much to say about them. They have both proven themselves a lot in the first movie and continue to look good here. I would say Zoey is absolutely smarter than Ben but he can still hold his own and they make for a good team. I wouldn’t say I love their characters or anything but they hold the film rather well. The pressure is more on the newcomers.

First up is Theo who panics a lot right from the jump. He doesn’t want to die here and talks about how unfair the whole thing is but he dies real fast. Now the way he died was a bit unavoidable so I don’t blame him there but he was just way too reckless the whole time. It’s hard to see how he survived the first time when he’s this emotional. You have to keep a cool head at least for a while. Like Zoey has a moment where she panics and grabs a door which activates a trap. That was a huge L but she has the rest of the film as evidence for how she is usually rather smart. (Although the scene did have me convinced that Zoey was a traitor for the rest of the film.)

Theo just didn’t add much. Then we have Brianna who also doesn’t seem ready for this. She doesn’t come up with almost any ideas during the adventure and seems to not have a real plan. She mainly follows the others and does her best there. Brianna’s not bad but again she doesn’t really feel like a champion which is the problem there. She’s not going to be saving anyone.

Nathan is someone who actually does feel like a champion though. He’s confident in his own plans and makes moves as needed. He has his big main character moment where he plunges ahead to solve the puzzle instead of listening to anyone. I actually appreciated that move a lot because it is definitely something that the main character would do if this was his film. He may have been wrong on the conclusion but most of his plan was really solid. He was also ready to jump in and save Rachel when she was in trouble and did so without hesitation. He’s probably the best character in the film I have to say.

Finally there’s Rachel who also has a commanding presence and did well. She has the ability to not feel pain which is pretty cool although in a lot of ways it’s very scary. Not being able to feel what’s happening to you can be a real nightmare depending on the circumstance and she seems to have had a dark past with the first set of Escape Room challenges. She does well in all of the challenges and proves herself as a strong competitor.

So out of the full cast only half of the new fighters live up to the hype. I put that on the film since they just needed to make the challenges a bit harder to show off everyone’s intellect before bumping them off. Kudos for not making anyone too unlikable though. In these films I think it’s important to have the main characters be teaming up instead of fighting with themselves. The puzzles are hard enough without having everyone be duking it out.

Now where the film really shines is the ending. It’s really brilliant all the way with how it ties into the beginning. I didn’t really pick up on any of the clues the first time around which is where I was really impressed. I didn’t read in between the lines and this is probably one of the first times where I didn’t suspect something right away. As the ending starts to play out you do connect the dots but even then, I didn’t to that extent. It’s all really cool and perfectly executed. Sort of like an ending out of Halloween or something but 100X cooler. I’d almost recommend watching the film just for the ending.

In general the whole movie is pretty well balanced though. There are a lot of fun challenges and different backdrops for each of the activities. This makes for a lot of variety and really keeps you on your toes the whole time. Some of the puzzles I do think are a bit much in terms of finding the solution. Like even while the characters are figuring it out you are super skeptical because it doesn’t really make sense. Some of it makes sense to be sure but most of it? Ehhhhhhhh I dunno. It’s Batman’66 levels of logic where he comes to the right answer and in a way it makes sense but it’s such a leap in logic that you’re not really sure how to feel about that.

I still liked all of the concepts and of course there was a NYC level in the game with some acid rain that was really intense. That had to be one of the more painful levels to be sure. Even if you played it perfectly you could expect to be hit by some acid drops. The film mainly avoids things getting too violent though. Some characters get burns and such but it’s actually rather tame. Nothing like the cube movie from a while back where everyone was really getting destroyed. This one lets you just enjoy all of the battles even with the life and death stakes.

Overall, I definitely enjoyed this one. I would recommend checking it out for any fans of thrillers out there. It did a great job of following up on the first one and I liked how strong the continuity was. We got actual flashbacks to the first film and everything. Every scene ends up being important by the end so it really wraps everything up well. I definitely recommend watching this film when you have a chance. It’s definitely a unique title that you won’t be forgetting!

Overall 7/10