Tag Archives: Thriller

The Vanishing Review

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All right, it’s time for a rather brutal stretch of film reviews so get ready folk! First up we have a title that hits rock bottom. Films about a kidnapping need to be pretty careful as it is. You don’t want to get too grim and especially if you are going for a more realistic angle rather than stylistic. If you have a lot of thrilling fight scenes and a hype climax you can do some things with the genre but the ending is really a huge component. This film fails in all of that and especially with its decision to have the villain appear so often. You really don’t want to see that guy and yet he doesn’t want to get off of your screen.

The movie starts with Rex and his girlfriend Saskia driving towards their big vacation spot. Unfortunately they run out of gas in the middle of a dark tunnel so despite Saskia begging Rex to stay with her, he runs off to find some help/get some gas. He eventually returns and she’s upset but they agree to move on. Unfortunately she is kidnapped immediately afterwards and it happens so fast that nobody even noticed. Years later, people still don’t know what happened but Rex is determined to find her. The kidnapper has been taunting him with letters and Rex is ready to finally catch him.

However, the viewer knows who the murderer is right away. That’s because a massive part of the film is from the villain, Raymond’s perspective. This was a massive mistake if you ask me. Who wants to see this psychotic villain reveling in his victory? We see him go through the process of learning how to kidnap people and how this was all premeditated. The guy wanted to commit the ultimate evil to prove that he could and it’s all pretty twisted. So the movie spends a large chunk getting back to the present where we see the events play out from his point of view. Will Rex be able to catch him?

Well Rex is one of the biggest suckers I’ve seen so that’s going to be tricky. You have a guy who has been sending him notes and when he finally shows up, Rex doesn’t take him down? I’m not saying you murder him of course since you need answers but you definitely knock him out first of all. Then you either take him to the cops if you are confident that you have enough answers or you take him to a secluded area where nobody will bother you and get some answers out of him. Either way in no scenario should this guy be calling the shot anymore.

The usual hostage type defense doesn’t work in this case since it has been years and the odds of her being alive are basically 0. So at this point you’re avenging her. I dare say you don’t even need to find out exactly what happened, just end this guy but if you must know, find that out first. No, Rex decides to just get in the guy’s car and listen to him monologue for hours about how genius his plan was. Can you really imagine listening to the guy who murdered your girlfriend go on for hours and hours without doing anything?

I really didn’t like Rex the whole time but it started even earlier than that. Ditching Saskia in the tunnel was a really lousy way to start things. How could you ever dream of doing that? She easily could have been murdered right there and then. I also feel like that’s the kind of thing that you never really forget. Years could pass and you would still remember that. Of course you would, because that shows what will happen when the chips are down. In a stressful moment he did end up leaving her.’

It’s too bad because she seemed like a nice character. Saskia doesn’t actually get to appear much at all though. Rex ultimately gets a new girlfriend in Lieneke which is very questionable at best. I don’t see how you move on before you’ve got any kind of closure. Particularly with how tragic the ending was here. It just doesn’t make sense. The film seemed to be focusing on how Rex was also going rather insane like the odd scene of him staring at a computer screen and sort of playing something like Pong with Saskia’s names jumping all around the screen and bumping into each other.

I’m all for a character being persistent in something like this. He should never quit and should keep on obsessing until he has answers. It’s just the fact that he makes all of the wrong decisions and lets himself be manipulated. There’s a scene of him essentially offing himself with how ridiculous it is. I dare say that it’s the single dumbest decision I’ve ever seen a main character make. It’s a pretty bold claim but I would absolutely defend it. Lets play this out for a minute.

A guy who self identifies as the murderer and who is clearly insane says he is going to drug you so that you can find out exactly how your girlfriend died. Are you actually going to drink the drugs that he gave you? This guy could not have been any more clear in exactly what was going to happen here. I won’t spoil the ending in case you ever want to watch it but I would advise against that. This is a bottom tier, z grade film and the ending is pretty awful. It makes perfect sense given the scene that just played out but that’s the problem. It’s hard to picture anybody possibly making this decision. It’s flat out nutty!

There’s just nothing to enjoy about this film. It’s a really dreary, dark film with a very small cast and most of the screen time is about the main villain. All of his scenes are just nauseating. I’m glad the film didn’t try to make him sympathetic or anything because that would have really been insane but the ending is completely unsatisfying. It could have done more to condemn the character rather than just doing nothing. We just don’t need to see this guy. Psychotic villains like this don’t deserve to be getting that level of screen time. We know he’s crazy so there’s no other context needed. If you have to show off his ideas then cut all of his screen time for the flashbacks and have him explain things in the car. It would still be a royal chore to listen to but it’s better than seeing that guy.

Overall, This film will have you shaking your head all the way. At no point in the film’s run was it ever enjoyable. Even before the kidnapping the whole scene in the tunnel left things off on the wrong foot. I can’t say that I really had much hopes for the film but even with that, this manages to go under them. A film needs to be enjoyable at the end of the day. That’s the whole point of entertainment and this one was not fun. So stay as far away from this one as you can. There are no benefits to checking it out. Try something a bit more intense like Justice League or something like that.

Overall 0/10

Escape from Alcatraz

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It’s time for a movie about one of the most dangerous prisons out there. If you land on Alcatraz then it’s all over in most cases. It’s a life term where you may try to find a way to break out but it’s not likely to happen. Of course when you piece together the title with how this is based on true events you may start to think about some things but lets not worry about that for now. Escape is supposed to be impossible.

The film follows a guy named Frank who gets sent to the jail. He’s had a history of escaping from many such prisons over the years but the warden is confident that he’ll break Frank. In this prison he makes the rules after all so whenever Frank starts to get friendly to someone, the Warden will move them away. He allows fights to start so he can punish both prisoners and then he also does random inspections to make sure nothing is being smuggled into the cell. Well, Frank is confident that there has to be a way out and he won’t rest until he pulls this off.

I’ve seen quite a few prison break films in my day and if you count sequences in a film not about that, then add that number up even more. That said, this one has to be a lot more toned down and realistic than those to try not to make you suspend your disbelief too much. So the prison doesn’t have fancy laser barriers or anything like that. It’s basically just a normal prison that is super disciplined but when you think about it, that’s all a prison really needs. You’re in a cell where you can’t easily plan things out with all of the interruptions and what you see is also so narrow that it’s difficult to really map everything out in your head.

Getting out of your cell is just the first part. You have to remember that you’re surrounded by water and have to get past a ton of guards who are all armed while you aren’t. So you need a boat, supplies, and basically a lot of luck on your side. Without that it’s game over. It’s also functionally impossible to do this on your own so you’re going to need some friends. Only problem is that these friends are also crooks and may not be the most trustworthy sort in a pinch. Worst case, one of them will rat you out in the end in the hopes of some kind of reward and then you will really be out of luck.

Now it’s hard to say just how accurate the film is to what happened because even in real life I don’t think we know exactly what happened. It’s why the ending is so vague, did the escapees really survive or did nature take them out? It would be nice to know but I suppose it’s anyone’s guess. The fact that they could break through was the important thing. Now, based on how soon after Alcatraz closed down, I wouldn’t be shocked if things had started to get lax around the place which made the job easier.

When the Warden changes, typically a lot of personnel will change and a ton of protocols will be updated. It’s possible this guy didn’t really know what he was doing and left a lot of openings to be exploited. It does seem like a bit of a stretch to give inmates axes, hammers, and other weapons for construction but it sounds like that’s been the case for a long time so I guess you just roll with it.

Frank does well as the lead character here and plays a large role in making the film entertaining. He’s the kind of guy who always stands up for himself and doesn’t let anyone mess with him. It’s easy to picture him breaking any kind of law if someone was inconveniencing him or just if he felt like it. The scene where he takes out the bully who was preparing to attack him was great.

Most of the side characters don’t get quite as much to do. The only other standout was English who did good in preparing Frank for what was coming and really giving him a chance here. It does feel like Frank would not have made it without him and the exposition the guy had at the ready. The cellmate with the rat also seemed like a good guy. Perhaps not the strongest ally physically but he had a lot of connections which is important here. I always find it interesting how a prisoner gets so much influence and materials to barter with but apparently there is a whole underworld economy going on so those things just happen.

The film can be a little intense but not nearly as intense as you would expect. Given the rep of these maximum security prisons you often expect to see a whole lot of inhumane stuff going on and everyone being crazy but that’s not really what happens here. Yes, you do see some stuff but the details aren’t extremely vivid and the film doesn’t dwell on it which is good. You know enough to reason out the rest which is the proper approach.

Overall, Escape from Alcatraz is a pretty solid prison film. It keeps you engaged all the way through and also shows you what a rough place Alcatraz is without getting needlessly dark at times like in Shawshank. You understand exactly why Frank needs to get out of there as soon as possible. While you are an inmate there you don’t have your basic human rights and privileges. So you need freedom at any cost and as many know, freedom can be worth the risk of death. The whole process of planning out the escape is pretty interesting so you should definitely check it out if you’re wondering how this went down. Perhaps not exactly the way the film presents it but probably close enough.

Gravity Review

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It’s time for a film about outer space. It goes with the very bold option of trying to have a very small cast but ultimately this was not the way to play it. I like outer space as much as the next guy but for just about any film you need a lot of banter and characters to be trying to outmaneuver each other. Most of this film is really just the main heroine trying to survive and as a result there isn’t a lot going on here.

The movie starts with Matt, an expert at this kind of thing and Ryan, our main heroine who is also an expert at least on the theory level but hasn’t really had to go into space like this before. It’s all going routinely until a big chunk of debris knocks the life out of everybody with Matt and Ryan being the only survivors but very quickly this becomes Ryan’s solo mission. She has to try and get enough systems back online to get back to Earth but it’s not easy as this was never meant to be done by one person. Can she surpass her limits right here and now or is it all over for her?

So the main problem here is basically what I said in the intro. There is only so much that you can do to fill out a whole film with just one character. It works in the anime/light novel format because you have a ton of inner monologue from the main character but in films that doesn’t usually happen. If Ryan was constantly thinking about what to do next, making plans, etc. then that would be a different story. It’s just pretty rare for you to see that in a live action film because it’s really just not the way that the stories are typically crafted. Also the genre is a bit different, it might not be super organic to see her thinking about plans and such when she’s just been thrown into this situation.

I’ll take entertainment over realism so I’d have been cool with it of course. The best part of the film is really the intro because I enjoyed Matt’s character and seeing just how hard he tries to help her out the whole time. He really did his best in a tough situation and never made her feel guilty or anything with what happens to him. So that guy was a standout character all the way. Ryan’s also a solid lead and came through when it counts but since part of the film is really about how this is her first time, she does understandably panic a whole lot more. Ironically Matt would probably make for a worse main character since he would just be silently doing everything and the film would become a silent flick real quick.

I’ve seen a few other films like this where it’s just one character for most of the film and so far they just never really work out. It’s just not a genre (Eh this would probably be considered a sub genre at least right?) that works for me. You do get some nice visuals of space of course. There isn’t much of a soundtrack since space is quiet and all but they tried hard on the technical side. The writing seemed good enough when there was dialogue as well although we just don’t get to see that for very long.

Okay here’s what I’ll say for the film. It’s a terrific writing prompt. It’s interesting to think about what you would do if you were stranded in space and how you would survive. You could absolutely make a whole book series about it as you slowly learn to grow crops/artificial food within the spacecraft, water, etc. Maybe you live for years on your own before people come to rescue you. It would really test your creativity.

It’s just that watching a film about it ends up being super boring. There’s no way around this, you’re not really given anything to wrestle with. No themes to discuss, no dialogue to rate, no fights to enjoy. There isn’t even much variety in scenery since she is stuck in the ship all the time. It just feels like too passive of a viewing experience. I need to be thinking about something, absorbing things so I can be running scenarios in my head. Otherwise it’s sort of like you’re just watching the main character walk around and it’s not super engaging.

Even the review feels a bit repetitive after a while because it’s like I’ve only been talking about one thing the whole time. Well, that’s what watching the film was like. I do want to underscore that it’s not a bad film, I’d just say that it’s not a good one either. It’s perfectly stuck right in the middle unable to move one way or the other. It’s not interesting enough to wow you or anything like that but it doesn’t commit any huge mistakes nor is it overly boring. It’s uneventful but I’ve seen some films that are truly boring and I can tell you that this one shouldn’t be considered to be in that same league.

Overall, Gravity is a film that takes an interesting concept and tries to execute it but it just doesn’t work in a movie context. I think this would be far more interesting to read as a book. If you are really into space or aspire to be an astronaut at some point then this film should hold a lot of extra value because I imagine they did consult with experts on a lot of the science so it’s more or less accurate. It’s a good idea to at least think about what you’ll do if you’re ever stranded. Me though, I plan to stay on Earth for the duration of my life. Space travel or going underwater are both things I’ve never been tempted to try and definitely would never do even if you paid me. I just need the solid Earth beneath me at all times with breathable air. The most dangerous hobby I’m into is competitive eating to be honest.

Overall 5/10

Behind Enemy Lines Review

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It’s time for a film that reminds you of just how dangerous it can be to be caught behind enemy lines. Trust me that’s not a situation that you ever want to be in. It makes for a pretty action packed movie with a lot of chase scenes and having to avoid enemy fire. I had a pretty good time with it and would recommend checking it out to anyone looking for a solid action movie to watch.

The movie starts with Chris really looking forward to his current tour ending. He had been hoping for a lot of action and excitement as a pilot but instead he’s mostly just had to do a lo of flying around empty areas. No gunfights or anything like that and he doesn’t appreciate the peace. Well one day, he ends up flying a little far out and gets shot down by the opposition. His partner is executed and he barely escapes into the wilderness. The US is in a tough political battle with this country and so with the treaty nearly here they don’t want to risk anything setting that back. So despite having a soldier on the run, the higher ups forbid Admiral Leslie from stepping in. Leslie wants to help but needs to figure out a way to do this. Will assistance be in time for Chris or is he truly on his own?

Now if this was a power fantasy film Chris would just defeat the whole army and keep it moving but of course that wouldn’t be super realistic. Best we can do for you here is have Chris be able to outrun the entire army and dodge all of their bullets. A pretty impressive feat in and of itself though. You’re going to see a lot of scenes of everyone trying to murder Chris and he’s just too fast for them. He moves through the forest like it’s his own backyard and he’s also able to use the mud to his advantage so that he can hide even while they are right on top of him. So yeah pretty impressive all around.

This film will have you stretching your disbelief quite a bit with how it’s handled but it does make for a very exciting movie which is always a good idea. It does come at the expense of the hype for one of the villains though. This guy is supposed to be an expert sniper, the best in the business and the film hypes him up as a huge threat. The problem for the guy is that ultimately when the chips are down he isn’t able to hit Chris. He has Chris straight in his sights and misses every single shot. Really a bad look for the guy since he’s a sniper and shooting at someone should be what he does best. It definitely had me a little confused I have to say. Just feels like the villain should have been handled a lot better.

There’s also another scene where he gets really lucky. Basically the villain who was with him steps on a land mine and asks him for help. The sniper says nah and start to walk away. The first villain should have just tried to run or make a jump for it then and blown them both up. No way you just let the other guy get away like that right? It would make no sense and just makes you look bad for accepting that. You have to keep your dignity in tact. All of the villains were on the weak side here to be sure but you can’t just take that. You have to make a move.

Meanwhile Leslie was a good admiral. He definitely did try to do the right thing throughout the whole film but it just wasn’t so easy. Every time he was being stopped on all sides by other officials. The film was definitely trying to show a lot of corruption within the government here like one guy in particular who seemed to be working with the terrorists the whole time. I was surprised at how easily he got off after it was all said and done. I guess there just wasn’t a strong enough case against him and he probably blamed it on someone else but that was unfortunate.

It was nice to see Chris actually get a little help as the film went on from the resistance. Usually it feels like nobody’s around at all and so the hero is really on his own but even just having one person makes a huge difference when you’re on the run like that. The crazy thing is that Chris could have really saved himself a whole movie if he just hadn’t yelled when they blew up his partner. I get that he was feeling pretty stressed and shocked when that happened but at the same time he really didn’t need to yell like that. The scene took so long and was so drawn out that it’s not like he didn’t see it coming. So he should have been prepared for that moment from the start.

If he doesn’t make a sound then nobody finds out and he has a really solid head start over to the extraction point. Even with the moles and traitors running around, I don’t think anyone would have had time to stop him before he escaped. So it was really a turning point in the whole movie right from the start.

Overall, This is definitely an exciting film with a whole lot of action the whole time. The pacing is on point and while the character cast isn’t huge, they work well enough. The movie is definitely at its best when it is really focusing on the thriller aspects of the title over the drama but handles them all rather well. It has a lot of fun with slow mo scenes and tons of camera cuts all over the place to really make you feel the intensity. This is absolutely more of an action film than your classic war title so keep that in mind when you’re watching it. I’ll be curious to see if any of the sequels can match this one. In theory you can just keep reusing the same plot over and over again so it’s all going to come down to the execution. Give me enough fight scenes and you absolutely have a chance after all.

Overall 7/10

The Old Dark House Review

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It’s time for a bit of a blast from the past since I actually saw this one quite a while ago. It’s a pretty interesting story about a group who ends up at a strange house where there is something a little off about everyone. It may not stand out a whole lot next to some other haunted house movies but with something constantly happening it will certainly keep you entertained. The moral is that sometimes it is better to stay outside in the car instead of wandering into a haunted house.

The film starts with Philip and Margaret bickering a whole lot after they had gotten lost on the road. They can’t figure out a way to get where they were going and then the car gets stuck in the mud. With a heavy rainstorm ongoing their only option is to head inside of a mysterious house for shelter. Well, they are granted entrance by Horace but he is bickering with his sister Rebecca constantly so it’s like going from the frying pan into the fire. Rebecca is very into the supernatural, Horace seems to treat everything like a bit of a morbid joke and then they have a butler who cannot speak but seems to be rather creepy the whole time. Did I mention that there seems to be someone upstairs?

That’s not even accounting for the fact that two more strangers wander in later on. More crazy people or just here to throw a little romance into the adventure? After all, Roger is basically a third wheel to the main couple. Yeah the film actually does squeeze in some romance amidst all of the horror and the large cast so like I said this film is really chock full of story and different plots going on.

The writing is pretty solid. Everyone speaks in a very distinguished way and the film does get that eerie feeling across rather well. It does live up to the hype of being a haunted house but less so for the house itself and just the inhabitants. That’s probably scarier anyway since not everyone is scared of ghosts but strange people who could be mass murderers? Yeah that’s pretty scary.

As the main character Philip can be more on the annoying side at times. I do think he was a bit much in how he was in a bad attitude during the drive. He gets along with Margaret better once they are inside at least though and isn’t as afraid of everyone as some of the other characters. He’s willing to go up and get the lamp at least even though it’s…upstairs!! So there’s that.

Margaret is a character who makes it a point to say that she doesn’t scare easily at first but then spends most of the film getting scared a lot and panicking so it wasn’t a good look for her. She at least had a better attitude than Philip initially but loses a lot of points for this. She also tends to run off on her own and get into trouble which is a really bad idea here. You need to always stick together when you’re in a strange place like this.

Morgan’s by far the worst character though. A pretty terrible antagonist who is basically a wild animal just trying to go after Margaret the whole time. Whenever he’s on screen tends to be the most annoying part. The guy’s fairly strong and usually handles whoever goes up against him but I prefer the more subtle kind of horror in these films. Having someone like this doesn’t add anything to the table.

Philip’s friend Roger is fun. His romance plot definitely comes across as really rushed given the circumstances but I like the fact that he’s at least having fun with all of this. While everyone else is panicking and getting scared he’s just laughing and having a good ole time. Nobody’s about to scare him. It feels like he’s always subtly mocking everybody.

Gladys is a fun character. There is no rebound going on here at least as the guy she came into the house with is just a friend. For once the film has no twists about this and that he secretly likes her or anything. They’re just good pals and he takes care of her. So Saul’s a pretty decent guy. The only part he’s upset about is the fact that Roger has no money and doesn’t seem like a very serious guy. Very valid reasons to be a little skeptical at least but ultimately he accepts this.

As for the house inhabitants, they’re all rather flawed of course. Horace is a fun guy but he is really just sitting back and allowing all of this craziness to unfold. He’s not even brave enough to go upstairs which says a lot about his character. The guy may seem like he’s having a fun time but is always scared out of his wits. At least Rebecca is taking charge the whole time but you never know when she will go on one of her crazy tirades. It makes for some pretty entertaining scenes though. Margaret really needed to stand up for herself more though.

Then we have the most random character at the end, good ole Saul. So the climax is hilarious in some ways even if it’s trying to be serious. So some old man shows up claiming that he’s completely harmless but grabs a giant knife. So he talks for a while and then one of the heroes lets his guard down and gets knocked out. Come on how are you going to get beat up by an old man who doesn’t train or exercise or anything?

Yeah really bad look but the whole climax is so sudden and random that it is pretty funny though. The film actually has a lot more action than you would expect from all of the Morgan fights as well as the climax fight with Saul. It’s really just wild stuff that you have to see to believe because it’s such a massive departure from the actual premise of the movie. Anti-shoutout to the two heroines hiding in a closet the whole time though. When it’s life or death like this I feel like everyone needs to try and help out. After all of the guys lose then the girl will die shortly afterwards so there’s no benefit in hiding. Either you all win or you all lose.

Overall, This was a pretty fun film. It’s got some fun unintentional humor and the writing is fun. The ending is also so nonchalant after everything that went on. Definitely a product of its time but one that has a decent amount of replay value so yeah I’d end up recommending it. It’s also something you can really impress people with since I’m sure the average moviegoer has probably never even heard of this film. It’s not exactly an iconic movie after all.

Overall 7/10

Paycheck Review

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It’s time for a film with a pretty interesting premise, in part because I could see this actually happening in real life at some point. Companies want to keep things confidential after all and right now people sign non-disclosure agreements but at the end of the day those are hardly full proof. What if they could just erase your memories? Oh man that would be a company’s ultimate dream! This movie is pretty fun and will keep you entertained the whole time but I do have to admit that the main character does come across as gullible.

The film starts off by introducing us to Michael who basically contracts with various companies to work on specialized projects. After which his memories are deleted and he goes off to live his life. The positive here of course is that he’s making absolute bank. The guy is basically rich because of the missions but the negative of course is that he’s missing massive parts of his life. He’s completely okay with this and feels that it’s a fair trade off though. Well, one day an old friend shows up and asks him if he is interested in a longer term contract. This one will last 3 years and of course he won’t remember any of it. Michael agrees but when he wakes up, it turns out that he gave away all of his money for some reason and all of the records have been destroyed. Now he is being hunted and it’s all an elaborate frame up. What can he do to get out of this?

I have to give the film more credit here because this is exactly what my worst fear would be. When you’re erasing whole chunks of your memory like that, you seriously have no idea what happened previously and that is opening up the door to all kinds of trouble. You can’t properly defend yourself from someone accusing you of something when you yourself don’t know what occurred right? So long story short, I would never even consider doing this even if the money was really good like this. An added wrinkle is in this film the procedure of removing memories is actually super dangerous as well so one wrong move and you will lose all of your memories or potentially even die in the machine.

Michael is one of those guys who usually takes things in stride. He’s fairly confident in himself and is skilled but as a character I wouldn’t say that he’s great. He’s cool with having one night stands since he figures that he will forget all about them afterwards anyway and that doesn’t make for a particularly solid romance. So once he does fall for someone you have a hard time buying into it. The romance doesn’t seem all that convincing and in large part it’s because the main character doesn’t exactly seem like a great guy.

You still feel bad for him of course since being framed is rough but that’s about it. As the main heroine Rachel isn’t bad. Taking aside the romance plot of it all, she does contribute a lot to the plot and can also be rather tough which I always like to see in the heroine. Michael also has a friend in Shorty who is very helpful here. The guy has a bit of an “I told you so” attitude but it is completely justified he whole time. Like this was a bad idea from the jump and it was pretty clear to see.

Now where the film taps into some interesting themes is with how Michael keeps having items on hand that are useful in very specific circumstances at specific moments. It’s basically as if he is following a destiny that is pre written by his past self who saw into the future. I always like theory crafting with time and looking at all of the different ways it could work. Basically, if you can see into the future then does that imply that your future is written in stone, you are just seeing one possible version?, or was that the future but the instant you saw it, it has now changed since you can effect things?

Personally I always go with the one possible version theory because to me it makes the most sense by far. You should be able to change the future once you have seen it and everything being pre written is just hard to buy for me. That said, this one is mainly going in that direction as Michael saw the future and planned things out extremely carefully in a self fulfilling cycle where he saw what was going to happen and made sure that it did. So what happens when two people see the future? Well that’s another interesting one.

The climax is pretty fun as it deals with all of that. On the whole I wouldn’t say the film is super action packed or anything like that but there are a whole lot of chase scenes. We also get the government involved which is always fun. Of course they do tend to get in the way a lot at first as they take everything at face value and fall for the villain’s traps. The fact that they went straight to torturing the lead and nearly frying his brain was a really bad look for them. Come on now can’t they at least pretend to not act like the villains for a little while?

Overall, Paycheck is a pretty fun. On its surface it’s just a classic action thriller but the time manipulation and sci-fi elements help to make it stand out. It has some interesting themes there and while that’s never the focus, it is still a fun little thing to touch on even if it’s just temporary. I’d recommend checking this film out, it’s a solid cautionary tale about how technology can get really dangerous really quickly if you rely on it too much. At the end of the day I personally recommend not letting anyone mess with your memories, but hey that’s just me. Also important to note that even if you don’t remember something, it still happened. So Michael’s idea here about doing stuff since he won’t remember it later on…yeah not a very good idea.

Overall 7/10

Empire of the Ants Review

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Time for a foe that is just as scary as a spider…an ant! Look you don’t want to mess with Ants for a variety of reasons but one is that they always have numbers on their side. The plot of this film changes quite a bit as the film goes on and the second half in particular is very interesting with the route that was chosen. The ending isn’t quite as hype as the spiders film though but ultimately this one executes at a much higher level.

The movie starts by introducing us to a bunch of characters who are invited onto a private island to see if they want to buy it or invest in it. They are all supposed to be rich people who can afford such a lavish purchase but what the host doesn’t realize is…a good deal of them are not rich or have no interest in buying the property at all. They’re just here to mess around and eat the free food. It also appears that this place is a scam anyway which is why it’s being offered away so aggressively. Unfortunately the danger isn’t merely to the pocket books as harmful chemicals have given the ants an attack boost. They are now massive and can rip people apart with ease. Can our heroes hold their own against these guys or are they doomed?

The film starts out quite poorly with one guy getting a girl alone and attacking her. She barely manages to fend him off but rather than murdering him or having the guy arrested she doesn’t really report this to anyone and just leaves. The guy’s boss also doesn’t do anything so from this point on you’re really just waiting for the ant to eat him. Like come on why are you starting the film like this. The whole intro is a bit slow as the characters all talk but most of them seem to hate each other and there’s a ton of very awkward small talk. It’s awkward by design of course but it does make for a fairly slow pace. Gradually they start to pair up and get along but you’re really just waiting for the ants to show up.

Sure enough they appear to start murdering people one by one. A good chunk of the film is about running around and trying to dodge ants. There are always various forks in the road so the characters will split up and you try to decide which ones made the wrong call. To an extent no route is that safe though so there is a lot of danger every which way. One thing the film does really good about showing though is that the ants are quite smart. They actively make plans and even try guiding the heroes into specific locations. Ants are generally pretty smart and have an advanced system within the tribe and so I’m glad we got to see that.

This part is fairly by the numbers but with so many annoying characters you are glad to see them get taken out. Some are more tragic than others though like an elderly couple that tries to hide in a house. You feel bad because it’s really a rough way to go when you’ve been around for so long. Like you lived to be 80 and then now you’re going to be eaten by ants? Just doesn’t feel right so that adds a tragic element to the film. The deaths can also be a little on the violent side. Not super overdone or anything. I think it’s just that enough of the death is shown so when you add it to how you imagine it would feel to be eaten alive and it’s a really rough picture.

As I mentioned the second half is where things get really interesting though. So the survivors make it over to a nearby town where everyone seems really nice but secretive. They don’t want the heroes to leave the town or anything like that. A little strange…but okay. So the heroes need to get out fast now but they will be up against the full might of the U.S. Government. There are a lot of secrets being held here and the biggest one really comes out of nowhere. It’s definitely an interesting moment though and explains why the place is so unnerving. I thought it was a brilliant twist but this really should have been the bulk of the movie. It’s just got so much potential and I feel like we didn’t stay here long enough.

Honestly if you focus on the second half I do think you could have actually gotten a pretty high score for the film. Remove the most annoying characters as well and treat this like a Twilight Zone episode. I feel like it was almost there, the whole thing was so close to being awesome and it just could not seal the deal. The two halves almost feel like completely different films and you don’t see that very often.

Overall, Empire of the Ants is not a film that I would rank very high. Too many annoying characters everywhere and while the dialogue can be rather funny, I don’t think the writing is great. The twists are a whole lot of fun but you will have some big questions about a few and won’t have time to get the answers. The ending gets really convenient really quickly and just makes the villains look super sloppy as opposed to making the heroes look like geniuses. The moves just should not have worked and so I was real skeptical. Still, I applaud the film taking things in such a different direction because I really did not see that coming. It came as a real big surprise and absolutely elevated the film because if we were just talking about the first half then we would have been in trouble.

Overall 5/10

Kingdom of the Spiders Review

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It’s time for a story about evil spiders so you know that this is going to be intense. Spiders do not hold back and I can tell you that from experience. I personally don’t think they’re quite as scary as the movies would have you believe but then again I’ve never come face to face with one of those huge ones in real life. I’ve only been around the smaller variety. This movie is a pretty intense thriller through and through with a really solid ending but the characters are not amazing and there is some serious plot armor here.

Okay so the story starts off with Rack messing around. He’s probably the best doctor in this small town in part because he’s the only one. When a horse dies from some venom randomly he’s kind of puzzled but calls in an expert. Diane shows up and explains that it was a spider bite but Rack doesn’t take her seriously for a moment and keeps flirting with her. He’s also busy flirting with another girl but gets mistaken for his dead brother which ruins that moment. Rack just wants romance! So he keeps trying with everyone but what the town really needs is for someone to focus because the death count starts to increase. Even the farm dog gets murdered which the film added as a little punch to the gut for any viewers who were hoping for a high quality experience. It turns out that Diane was right and an army of spiders are approaching to destroy everyone, all around the world. They’re going to destroy everyone Rack loves, starting with the people in the town. Can he stop them?

Now while I give Rack a lot of grief for being a completely patronizing, irresponsible jerk, things wouldn’t have changed much even if he took the threat seriously from the start. The reason comes down to a numbers advantage, there are millions and millions of spiders running around. They can tank fire by going underground and they can run really fast. Short of nuking the area or something like that you are not going to defeat them. The mayor wants to use some strong chemicals but aside from the fact that it would end up hurting a lot of humans as well, the spiders may be immune because they are mutant types.

So the town was always doomed. What was a bit surprising is that we actually see a large part of the fight onscreen. Usually you see the aftermath or something but no we see the spiders jumping people and taking them down. It’s a little hard to buy at face value but the film does put in some work to make it a little more plausible. For example, one bite is enough to seriously start to paralyze you and if you hit the ground then you’ll die right away because of the endless bites. So your best bet is not to get hit at all or to get bit once while running and the adrenaline will help you out.

It’s pretty tragic if anything seeing everyone get taken down though. The climax gets surprisingly violent with everyone being eaten alive. Even the mayor/sheriff had a bit of a grisly end there. I don’t know why people were trying to stop his car though except to doom them all. Like those people are already dead men walking so at least let this guy escape right? Ah well I suppose that wasn’t in the cards. Now the film does bend this law a bit though which is where the plot armor comes in.

So as I explained if you are bitten then it’s game over. You can just throw in the white flag because there is no getting away from this right? Wrong! Rack gets bit a ton of times and then hits the floor. By everything we’ve seen in the film that means he is dead and yet somehow he gathers up enough energy to recover and rejoin the rest of the cast. The scene made absolutely no sense and was completely annoying. You can’t just have plot armor like that for no reason. If they said he was a poison expert or something and was already immune for the most part then that would be fine but there’s no reason he should be alive here. I just can’t accept that.

It doesn’t help that he’s such a bad character too. The guy doesn’t take anything seriously and having more than one romance plot in the same movie is always a massive thumbs down. This guy’s not loyal nor is he trustworthy. You would not want to be paired with him because ultimately he’ll just see you as the next romance partner. It’s why Diane ended up being disappointing as she quickly ended up liking him anyway. There was no reason for that.

It’s too bad because the idea of trying to shelter in a house while spiders try to break in from all sides is pretty tense. The film just doesn’t execute particularly well. Any film with animals attacking you is likely to be a dicey one as that can quickly go into animal violence but it doesn’t need to happen. Why even have the dog appear at all? It’d be nice if the spiders had not gone after any animals and were just shredding the humans. They shouldn’t have any beef with the other wildlife right?

All that aside, the ending is really good though. It makes for a solid cliffhanger and is like something out of Resident Evil. The true horrors still await the main cast and you know that they are not in a good spot. I would argue that they aren’t quite doomed yet though. Given that the spiders are small I feel like you should be able to just make a break for it. They can’t bite you through your sneakers and if you run hard enough none of them should be able to climb up your pants. The tough part is just finding out how widespread these things are. If they go on for too long then you will get tired and eventually die but if not, then you have a chance. A sequel would have been very interesting here.

Overall, The Kingdom of the Spiders makes for an intense thriller but ultimately it made too many mistakes to get a passing grade. Having better characters would have gone a very long way to be honest because then you’re more invested in seeing the characters do well and overcome the audience. Without that it just feels like you aren’t going to be quite as engaged with the whole adventure and I wouldn’t really recommend this to anyone. It’s an interesting premise….but that’s not enough to save it.

Overall 2/10

The Accountant Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

I saw this film a little while ago and it’s definitely a solid action film all around. I remember the trailers and promotions for this one really well. The idea of an Accountant being the main character who is also a fighter and it was enough to get some eyebrows raised. Now granted, the film plays out a little differently than I expected since I was basically expecting accountant by day and Punisher by night but the route the movie goes is still solid.

The movie starts by introducing us to Christian who as a kid could not really handle any external stimulus. This would result in a lot of different episodes and panic attacks which gradually caused his mother to run off. His father did his best to train Christian and his brother Braxton even if his methods could be rather intense and tow the line of going too far. Well, it ended up working for Christian who is now an expert accountant who has been able to lead an ordinary life. He continues to train himself for stimulus every night using a custom setup at his house. His latest case is to find out if some money has been stolen by a huge company and this mystery goes back many years. An intern named Dana discovered this so she wants to help him out but he’s a solo act.

Is this guy hiding something though? Ray, the leader of the Treasury (Makes it sound like a big gang organization right?) hires a lady named Marybeth to find out the secret behind this accountant. He blackmails her so that if she refuses he will send her off to jail. That’s a pretty strong motivation so she’s all in but Christian appears to just be an alias that he uses and the guy has been the accountant for many powerful gangs and influential people across the globe. He always vanishes once the job is done and contacting him is next to impossible. Will she be able to pull this off?

Now the film is mainly focused on the two different plots, Christian’s and Marybeth’s. The latter is mostly a red herring in my opinion as you keep waiting for the two paths to connect. Of course they do to an extent but not as much as you would think. I feel like this was all leading up to a big sequel where you will have the payoff but even if we don’t get a sequel, I think this works pretty well. It’s a fun subversion as she continues to be one step behind him throughout the film as opposed to finally getting one over on him. Why is this a good thing? Well, it’d be a little cheesy if someone who just joined the force could track down the man that nobody has ever encountered yet. It would just be a little too fast, but give her a few years and that can of course change.

She’s a solid character through and through though. She also makes the right call in the end which I was glad about because for a bit there I was getting nervous. The “call” involves choosing to accept the help of a vigilante or not and yes while that can sound tricky, I think it’s clear that you have to say yes. You’re putting villains behind bars, it doesn’t matter where the intel is coming from. Meanwhile Ray was also a pretty solid character. He should probably tread lightly because he doesn’t want the Accountant for an enemy but I liked his drive. Replaying his backstory over and over was a bit much but I thought he pulled his weight really well in keeping the subplot interesting.

For the main plot, that’s where the meat and potatoes is. Christian makes for a really fun main character. He’s definitely been through a lot so it was nice to see him be in total control in the present. He has his system and knows how to protect himself. He’s also an expert fighter which is nice and balances out his serious side and comedic moments well. It also comes down to the fact that he’s just a nice guy in general. The film throws a whole lot of plot twists at you by the end and the best one involves the identity of the lady who works with him over the phone.

I thought that was a really nice touch and shows how he really helped improve a lot of other lives around him. It’s a twist that I absolutely did not see coming but works perfectly well when you see it there. That’s why it is such a good twist. Not every twist in the film lands though. One involves the identity of the main villain. So here’s the thing, it’s an unexpected twist which is cool but I think it was handled a bit too abruptly. No matter who the identity is, we know that this villain has been murdering a lot of people already. It’s hard to just let bygones be bygones.

While you could say that the villain is a vigilante like the Accountant to an extent, he’s certainly much more willing to cross the line at the drop of a hat. He’s an assassin for hire after all and while the victims we saw were other villains, he does murder them in rather intense ways and based on his reputation you are led to believe that he has quite the body count. All of this is just to say that you’re not really inclined to root for him in the present no matter what happened in the past. I actually liked him a whole lot in his past scenes but for the present it’s going to take some time.

Meanwhile Dana is a decent character although I don’t think she brought much to the movie beyond trying to squeeze some Hollywood romance in there. Christian works well as a solo act all the way through and they didn’t have a whole lot of banter or enough of a dynamic to make the extra character worth it. If she returns in the sequel you could probably do something with her but it did feel like this was probably it for her character. Her arc is concluded after all so the sequel would likely introduce some new characters.

The film doesn’t actually have a lot of action but the fights that we do get are pretty solid. Again that’s where the film tricked me a little because I was expecting a ton of fight scenes but really we just had the climax and a brief fight in the past. The choreography was on point though and the story is engaging enough where you’re invested all the way through anyway. The film can be sad, funny, serious, etc. It has a whole lot of range here and makes for a very complete film.

What seals the deal on this one being solid is the ending. A film like this could have absolutely destroyed itself with the wrong ending but it leaves a lot of room for a sequel and is satisfying for all of the characters. A whole lot of world building was accomplished here as well which is impressive for a stand alone title. It probably needs to sell me a little more on how Christian managed to stay alive for so long in such a brutal business but you could partially chalk that up to luck or him never really being in a position where someone wants him silenced. We do see some of the specifics on how he stays safe like a moving base and all buttttt I’m just a little skeptical.

Overall, The Accountant is a pretty good movie. The soundtrack may be a little forgettable but the writing is good and I liked the premise a whole lot. It really does throw a unique element into the mix (Being an accountant) and really rides that all the way through to the end. That will also prevent this film from just being forgotten because no matter how many other thrillers come out, it’s unlikely that they would end up copying that part of the plot. Even if they did, it would squarely be known as the copycat which just makes this one get brought up yet again. I’d recommend checking this film out for sure.

Overall 7/10

Naked Alibi Review

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Time for one of those noir films where you have to stay focused and make sure you don’t miss anything! The film really covers a lot of ground which is pretty good as half of the film is about the first part of the suspect’s double life and then we go to the other. So it’s like the film is actually following the guy’s career path which makes a lot of sense. The villain gets away with quite a bit as the film goes on and the ending isn’t the most satisfying which is what holds this one back a little.

The movie starts with some police officers interrogating Willis. Willis was really drunk and the cops have reason to think he may know something about recent robberies. Willis gets quite upset and even starts a fight but ultimately the cops are forced to let him go. Officer Conroy overhears Willis swear revenge and then shortly afterwards a cop is murdered. Conroy is convinced that Willis is behind this but there is no proof. Then another pair of officers are murdered and Conroy really wants to take Willis down but getting the evidence is the tricky part. Willis also has public opinion on his side so Conroy ends up getting fired from his job for going at this a little too strongly. Well, he will crack this case even if he has to do it as a civilian and follows Willis across the border. Can he really make it out of this alive?

You could say that the opening city is Conroy’s home base since even after being let go from the police force he knows everybody and can tail Willis rather easily. When we switch to Willis’ home base then it’s a lot tougher as Conroy doesn’t know the local gangs or how things work here. In fact he is quickly taken down by a bunch of thugs and only barely survives thanks to Marianna and a kid who spotted Conroy in time. Conroy was a bit sloppy there even if it was because he was just desperate at this point. You still can’t follow just anybody, particularly in a seedy environment like this. It’s just not going to work.

I applaud Conroy’s dedication the whole time though. He never relents in the search or doubts himself at all even when everyone tries to talk him out of it. Conroy knows that he has got his man. Working on your own like that is definitely tough and he doesn’t fall for Marianna’s distractions either. He is completely locked in and ultimately does good. He has to be one of the standout characters in the film although I also give his partner a lot of credit for risking his own career in helping Conroy out the whole time.

Meanwhile Marianna is in a really rocky spot the whole film. She is with Willis but the guy is obviously abusive and isn’t exactly the ideal guy. She has put up with this for a long time and is basically resigned to being with him but this gets more and more unbearable as she learns about him. The relationship was toxic from the start so it’s partially on her as even from the opening greeting he’s putting hands on her and she seems okay with it. It’s once she finds out that there’s another woman involved that it gets more personal. Mix that in with Willis getting more and more paranoid and it’s a recipe for trouble.

It’s clear from her rather rough living expenses that Marianna doesn’t have many options available to her though. Willis basically owns the area and she has no way of getting out. So the whole plot point is a rather tragic one an you wish things could have gone better for her. She definitely tried to help out as best she could even if this wasn’t always a good idea. Following Willis into the Church for example was definitely ill advised. She did not appear to be prepared at all.

Finally you have Willis who is a fairly crazy villain all the way through. He wants pure chaos all the time and really sells the innocent routine. He managed to make a lot of friends at his day job which helps for the alibi. People just seem to like him and it’s a bit scary how well trusted he was despite having this double life. It just goes to show once again that you may not always know someone quite as well as you think you do. The side you see at work is just one part of them after all.

While I definitely don’t like Willis at all, he is probably one of the best fakers I’ve seen in a while. If this was your first Noir title you may actually believe him for the first half because the guy seems really genuine the whole time. I mean fighting a few officers is a massive red flag if I’ve ever seen one but if you get behind that then you’re all set. The film is definitely compelling as you wait for Conroy to take him down.

Ultimately like I said the main weak point here is the ending. It just feels a bit mean spirited even for a Noir title with everything going on. I also think the scenes with Marianna follow suit with her having to take a lot of punishment before Conroy can ultimately come in and put a stop to this. It’s really just a rough situation for everyone involved and shows why you don’t want to have to live in an area ruled by a gangster. It’s just never going to go over all that well and you’re going to really get blasted the longer you hang around there.

Overall, Naked Alibi is a film with a fairly intricate plot and it’s got a lot going for it. The story is engaging and Conroy is a great main character. It also shows how frustrating it can be when you know who the villain is but just don’t have the proof to put him away. It puts you in a really tough spot the whole time. I’d have appreciated getting to see Conroy having a full mano a mano fight with Willis and getting us a happier ending but at the end of the day this is still a film that will keep your attention. It can get rather dark and comes close to breaking through to being overdone but mainly keeps sticks to scratching the edge.

Overall 6/10