Monthly Archives: January 2026

Hellboy II: The Golden Army Review

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It’s time to finally look at the Hellboy sequel. While I don’t think it is quite able to beat the original, it’s pretty close and definitely makes for a strong film in its own right. We also get quite a lot of action here although Hellboy always feels completely out of his league. The heroes will need a considerable amount of plot armor if they want to succeed in this fight.

The film starts off with Hellboy and the team foiling another giant monster’s attempt to cause destruction upon the human world. Hellboy is starting to get real sick and tired of staying incognito though and intentionally causes the BPRD to be found out. Now he can operate publicly as a superhero of sorts. Well, that was the plan at least. Unfortunately this got his boss Tom in trouble so Johann is called in to get this squad back into professional shape. He came at a good time though as Prince Nuada shows up to try and jump start the end of the world.

He is assembling a golden crown and his sister Nuala was able to escape with one piece. The BPRD vow to protect her but Nuada easily defeats Hellboy in their first encounter. How can Hellboy possibly get strong enough to defeat an opponent like this? It’s not like he has any strong teammates to rely on after all.

Although this is why it’s good to have Johann around because this guy can actually fight rather well. He is essentially able to turn into smoke which makes him difficult to hit and he can spread his soul into different objects at once. The power does seem to have some limitations but on the whole he can do some real damage. He also gets a sad backstory so you’ll actually feel bad for him at different points. It’s also always tough to be the new guy suddenly having to be in charge of a bunch of rebels. The other characters already know each other after all so you are the odd man out.

Abe gets a fair amount of screentime here but as always he spends most of his time getting absolutely rocked. He is no match for Nuada’s right hand man and isn’t able to contribute much to the big battles. He may have found out that Liz was pregnant right away with his abilities but it’s not like that’s going to be super helpful overall. I don’t mind the guy but I wish he could be a whole lot more helpful when the going gets tough.

As for Liz, well she is busy with the drama between her and Hellboy for a lot of the film. She thinks that he is too much of a slob and the two of them fight about everything. Since she is pregnant, it’s not like she’s getting quite as much action here. Although since she is a long range fighter, I’d have liked her to have done a bit more here. I feel like she gives up on her fire being useful a little too quickly and could have done more in the climax. I still enjoy her character but the romance drama was a bit forced.

Hellboy always gets his witty dialogue and has nonstop confidence but it doesn’t always feel 100% earned with how many losses he takes. He wins the opening fight but it got dangerous for a little bit there. Then he is getting rocked in all of the matches with the swordsman. The problem is that the sword can pierce Hellboy and the main character usually relies on his strong durability being able to counter any attack. Once you breach his defenses, well Hellboy doesn’t have a whole lot more left at that point. I do like that his shotgun is still a whole meme with how it never actually works against the strong villains.

Tom’s role is greatly reduced here, but he’s still fun. He has some nice banter with Hellboy although he is always on the losing side of it. It would be nice if Hellboy could be a little more considerate of Tom’s position but that’s never the case here. Tom’s effectively on his own which is rough. As for the princess Nuala, she’s okay but it would be nice if she could fight more. She certainly has a stronger moral compass than Nuad but all she can do is run away. It would be nice if she had enough fighting abilities to go up against him one on one instead of relying on Hellboy and friends.

Nuada is a really solid villain though. He has a solid honor code and is fighting for a cause that he believes in. The guy does get angry when Hellboy murders his friend and also had his resolve tested early on when even his father did not believe in the mission. Nuada ends up being a really memorable figure and someone that helps to elevate the film.

I’d say what gives the first film the edge is the overall mysterious atmosphere. It felt like a 90s type of film even though it was newer because of how dark everything was. It felt like the film was always having things go on at night and it just worked really well. This one is definitely going for more world building and yet that removes some of the intrigue here. For example we have the alien market here where a lot of weird monsters are running around.

It’s like something out of a Star Wars film. It’s definitely strange and quirky yet I wouldn’t call it interesting. I can appreciate that it probably was a lot of work on the effects to pull it off but it’s not the kind of lore that gets to me. I was more eager to get to the fight scenes or back to the headquarters. Give me more screentime on the mystery of the golden crowns or Hellboy’s backstory but the general world building could be a bit weak.

Overall, Hellboy II was a solid film. It had a memorable final fight with how the characters had to constantly be on the move. The action in general was really good and the main cast is still likable. So there are a lot of things going for this film. I would recommend checking it out, especially if you enjoyed the first one. It continues where the story left off and while the newbie may not be here, the rest of the cast is around. It’s too bad they could never finish the trilogy here.

Overall 7/10

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever Review

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It’s time for a film about how a group of kids end up terrorizing a whole town. They may be young but the adults weren’t prepared for such an onslaught. At times the film goes a bit too hard on being really cheesy but aside from that it is a good title. Ultimately it’s got a solid message about Christmas and giving everyone a second chance so you can’t really go wrong there.

The main heroine here is Beth and she has grown up in a school that is terrorized by the Herdmans. They are bullies who go around stealing food and hitting the other students. The adults all know about this but make no moves to stop them. So Beth and the other kids are on their own. The only place where they can get a break from the bullies is at school. Unfortunately that doesn’t last as her brother goads them into joining the church for free snacks. Now the Herdmans have announced that they are going to take over the Christmas Pageant. Beth’s mother is going to be the head person this year and she has decided to make the best of it. Will this ruin the show though?

Beth is probably the most sympathetic character here because of the fact that she has no good support network. The fact that the bullies physically attack her and the others can be scary. Apparently they’ve gone quite far with the bullying as they sent one kid to the doctor. It’s why Beth’s friend is forced to step down from her role as Mary since she knows that the threats are real. It’s good that the Herdmans eventually realize the error of their ways but at the same time you don’t really want to reward this kind of behavior. It puts you in an awfully tough spot.

Beth is also the one pressured to try and help them out as her own feelings are basically ignored here. The most entertaining and yet frustrating character would be her father. He makes it clear from the start that he doesn’t take the bullying seriously. He makes quick quips about it in a way where you know that he’s not going to do anything. He even looks nervous when delivering food to the kids. The poor guy was even struggling to open a frozen tv dinner. He’s clearly not the best representative to send out if you need a body guard.

I like how he doesn’t take anything seriously in an ironic way but you would hope that he would be protecting his kids more. Meanwhile Beth’s Mom is too busy putting on the Pageant here to worry about any of that stuff. She is going a bit too far in this quest to prove herself as she needed to really let the Herdmans know how these things were going to play out. There are times to move forward but there also have to be times for accoutability.

That’s probably where the film is roughest. The Herdmans just get away with way too much and the adults are always too afraid to confront them. The film shows us that the Herdmans absolutely have it rough and nobody would envy their situation. At the same time, in life you always have choices on whether you do the right thing or the wrong thing. The Herdmans continually chose to do the wrong thing and so at that point there are consequences.

I was glad that the film kept the center of Christmas about Jesus Christ. The Pageant remained Christian based the whole time which is a good thing and so that was a good touch on the film’s part. When you’re watching a film about Christmas, you never know if you’re going to get the true meaning of it here or something about Santa Claus instead. The Pageant may not have been their best one with all the drama but the film would try to have you believe otherwise.

The film goes by fairly quick since there is a lot going on. Ultimately it makes for a fun film so that’s the important thing. Even if I had my reservations, there isn’t really anything here that would dramatically hurt the movie. If they ever did a sequel, I could see that winning though as I think Beth would do a better job of keeping everyone in check.

Also she may be more likely to talk tough to the town. While her mother didn’t back down, she could still be a bit evasive and too polite when talking to the cabal of teachers. She needed to take a more aggressive approach if you ask me and that would have worked out well. A small town like this is always going to have a decent amount of gossip and it’ll stop if you shut it down decisively. Beth may be timid as a kid but she was quickly growing up as the film went on. These circumstances basically require that this will happen in time. Ideally the other adults will have softened up after this success though so maybe Beth won’t even have any opposition.

Overall, This was a pretty good movie. It can definitely be a little cheesy so you’ll probably cringe at some of the Herdman moments but for the most part it’s like a time capsule. This will remind you of a tv special from the 90s or something like that. The film’s messaging is good and ultimately the Herdmans get the redemption arc. The town doesn’t have to worry about bullies anymore so things can go smoothly. It’s a fine Christmas title to check out for the new year.

Overall 6/10

Gattaca Review

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It’s time for a sci-fi film that really uses the high tech developments to show how it would be difficult to impersonate somebody. The movie has a good premise but the main character takes quite a number of unreasonable risks that makes things a lot closer than it should have been. It’s an interesting movie but one that is really lacking in good characters.

The movie starts with showing how eugenics has become a big thing through dna technology. You can use science to make sure your kid is born perfectly and you can even customize the dna for the traits that you want. If you pay a lot of money you can basically be guaranteed with a perfect kid. Vincent’s parents want to go with a natural birth but when Vincent comes out with a weak body, they decide to do the dna perfection with his younger brother Anton. They are rivals but Vincent finally beats him in a swimming race one day and then heads off to start a life of his own.

The difficult thing is that this dna purity has created a new kind of discrimination. Most jobs will only hire you if your stats are good enough and as a natural birth with a weak heart, Vincent is ineligible for almost all jobs. One day he comes into a rare opportunity when a famous swimmer named Jerome shows up and explains that he needs Vincent to be his double. Jerome was in a terrible accident and can no longer walk. Vincent is unsure at first, but then decides to go along with it to also prove that he can handle the job. Can he stay undetected?

The film goes to great lengths to show how hard it is to be undetected in this world. Vincent needs to constantly carry a lot of Jerome’s dna with him for spontaneous drug checks, blood shots, eye scans, etc. It’s all an incredible amount of defenses that the company has at the ready and yet with perfect timing Vincent is able to handle them all. His one weakness is that he begins to like a girl named Irene but getting into a relationship now is a terrible idea with how dna spreads.

A huge focus of the film is that dna can be obtained from the smallest thing. Vincent has to scrub his fingernails every morning and use a vacuum on is desk just to make sure there are no particles. So rolling around with a girl is naturally not a good part of the plan and it’s Vincent’s biggest problem here. He absolutely has to know better. For the most part he is very careful and doesn’t make big mistakes but this was a huge one.

He also tends to get emotional like when he wants to quit the program at the last second. When you have a mission like this then you gotta see it through. So I didn’t end up becoming the biggest fan of Vincent. He needed to keep his eye more on the mission at all times instead of wavering and not being ready when the task was at hand. It’s really only thanks to plot armor that he gets as far as he does.

Then you have Jerome who also tends to be really annoying. This guy likes to get drunk which is of course a huge liability since it messes with the samples and also means he might say something that will spill the beans. At one point he decides to go catch a show outside and starts yelling at one of the guards. He draws a whole lot of attention to himself considering that a single slip up would mean the end of him. Ultimately the way he goes out is also pretty rough.

He needed a better end goal instead of just trying to fool Vincent into thinking that he had one. He also took advantage of a moment with Irene in order to fool the detectives which was a terrible look since he definitely did not need to go that far. The film does introduce him as a jerk so it’s not like that’s surprising but still disappointing to see.

As the main heroine, Irene isn’t bad. To her this is a normal romance and I would say she handles herself decently during it. She always stays very professional. Now the romance could have stood to have been more of a slowburn but otherwise I didn’t really have any problems with her character. She even gets some character development by the end where she cares less about the dna side of things.

Finally we have Anton and it was fun to get the big confrontation at the end of the film. A true rematch and the guy still has a solid ego. When he’s not around Vincent, I have no doubt that Anton is really good at his job and handles things well. He just loses perspective when things get personal but still made for a good rival. That helped as a final big action scene.

In the end the film’s sci-fi setting was pretty interesting and it was definitely more fleshed out than most. That being said, I would have liked to have focused more on that than the romance drama or even the drama with Jerome constantly making the wrong decisions. Give me more focus on the space mission itself which was really interesting. There was a whole lot you could do with the chief executive there who was consumed with making sure that the mission would work.

Overall, The biggest boost to this film would have been if the main characters were more likable. In a general sense I suppose you’re rooting for Vincent to expose the system and succeed but he doesn’t really seem like the kind of guy you’d be friends with. The same is true twofold for Jerome. You’re basically starting to root for the investigators early on because they have way more charisma. These guys are slowly piecing together the puzzle and the mystery aspect there is fun. I also think the ending could have been a whole lot better. So long story short, we’ve got a really interesting premise here but I didn’t think the execution was nearly as good as it could have been.

Overall 5/10

Hellboy: Web of Wyrd Review

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This is one of those games that may have been on my radar earlier if I had already been on my rogue marathon. Well, better late than never as they say. It’s pretty interesting to play a Hades styled game that’s in 3D. You can feel a lot of similar elements here from the soundtrack to the level designs and gameplay setup. It definitely feels much lower budget though with certain parts of the game really needing quality of life improvements. All that said, the game was really fun to play through.

The game starts off with Hellboy and the BPRD heading to a castle because some weird things have been happening there. One of their guys named Lucky is nearly trapped in a parallel dimension known as “The Wyrd”. He warns Hellboy that weird things are going on in there but Hellboy has to risk it. Somehow the Nazi’s have invaded the realm as well and may use that to stage an attack against the real world. If they aren’t stopped quickly, then it will all be over.

The Wyrd is the game’s way of explaining the death mechanic. Right before fully dying in the Wyrd, Hellboy’s teammates pull him out of the dimension using the tether. That way he can keep trying until he wins. As in any rogue type game, you are expected to die over and over and over again until you get strong enough to complete the game. When you die you keep your orbs which is the currency you use to upgrade your weapons or physical stats.

Right away that is one difference here since usually you would have more than one currency which would match with how many things there are to power up. This game doesn’t actually have a ton of content for that and as a result you can get nearly every trophy easily. The only tough one is getting all of the lore and that’s mainly because there is a ton of RNG at play here. Additionally the game plays the same message no matter how many times you pick up the same piece of lore so you will really have to remember which ones you got.

The platinum seems easy enough but a little too time consuming to go after it seriously. Keep in mind that every run will take you around 2 hours because of how many rooms you have to clear. You also aren’t going to be clearing it all that much faster as you power up since the differences are slight. It’s a bit excessive as titles like Hades can cram a ton into 30 minute run. That’s a lot more doable than something that’s around 2 hours.

This game is fully in 3D like I mentioned so you are mainly alternating between your punches and gun shots. For the guns the best one is easily the grenade launcher which makes sense as it’s the final one that you unlock. It can deal devastating damage so you should try to max that out as soon as possible. Then you have your punches which are strong enough. You mainly want to focus on learning when the best time to dodge or parry is. This will help you immensely as you make your way through to the game.

Every attack can be dodged and so if you play your cards right then you shouldn’t lose much. I died maybe twice so it can still happen if you don’t let your guard down. Now, while I had a good time with it, the lack of attacks does mean that you may find this repetitive if you don’t really enjoy the combat. So it will all come down to that in the end. Particularly since there aren’t any other real modes to this. You will keep bashing away at the same enemies until they have all gone down for the count.

The graphics are really good though. The atmosphere works really well for a horror type game. Everything is very eerie and suspenseful. The colors are all really strong as well with how bright the red is and how sharp the colors are in general. It’s a game that really stands out. The soundtrack is also pretty good since it is really trying to capture the rock feeling from the Hades titles. So the technical aspects don’t disappoint in these two areas.

Ultimately for the game to turn the corner and get to an 8 I would have just needed a little more content. Maybe a wider range of enemies to go up against or some more levels. Instead of making the runs so long I would have more runs that are shorter in length. I guess it would mean less opportunities for power ups and such but it just seems to fit the genre a bit better this way. You could also make the levels more linear instead of having doors that basically take you in a loop. With no map, it could be easy to waste a little time. Especially when you are also checking the ground for items and gold since they really don’t stick out.

Let me just focus more on the action and then we’re good. Without the grenade launcher, the game would definitely have jumped quite a bit in difficulty. I was effectively able to cheese it to an extent since the explosions are so powerful. Without the launcher, I’d have to go in swinging the whole time and naturally that comes with a whole lot of risks as well. If you miss a parry, you eat an absolute ton of damage.

Overall, This is a pretty good game. I do think it should have had more content or at least been able to tell you when you’ve found a new collectible. It’s the little things like that which makes a difference or the game not having a map. This feels like it just didn’t have a big production team. Still, the combat is fun which is easily the most important part. I’d definitely recommend playing through this one. It will give you a good amount of fun for as long as it lasts.

Overall 7/10