Category Archives: 0 Star Movies

The Manchurian Candidate Review

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Considering a certain event in the new Captain America series and the general plot of the Civil War film, it’s a good time to look at this film. Unfortunately, it was quite terrible so don’t go in expecting me to tell you how great it all was. It’s a very sad film where the characters continue to make mistake after mistake. The brainwashing is advanced enough that it completely clobbers a whole group of people and America doesn’t realize how many undercover fighters are around. Can the country stop these guys before it is too late…or is it already too late!?

Marco was with a platoon behind enemy lines. Unfortunately, his group was captured and brainwashed by the Soviets and forced to murder each other. One member of their group was turned into a sleeper agent (Raymond) while the others were allowed to return to the country. Why weren’t they all turned into sleeper agents? Who knows! Anyway, Marco starts having odd dreams and realizes that something is not right. He starts to uncover the truth behind Raymond, but what can he do about it. Few believe him and even fewer have enough power to do anything about this. Marco’s going to have to go with his gut instincts here, but it may not be enough.

Typically, you’d think that the film would try to make Raymond likable so we’d actually be sympathetic to his plight right? Well, this film decides to take the opposite approach and makes him a guy who is not likable in the slightest. This is why Marco suspects that something is up since the brainwashing forces every member of his platoon to like the guy. Even once Marco finds out that playing cards are the key to stopping Raymond, he decides to leave the agent alone for one more night with his fiance. Big mistake.

As a result of Marco’s blunder, Raymond destroys her along with her father and claims many more innocent victims along the way. He even gets one last murder as the film ends because nobody was fast enough to stop him. One subplot that is also grating from the start is that he and his mother don’t get along at all. This leads to a series of insults and sob stories as we find out that she is the one controlling him. Raymond can only watch as she takes out the playing cards and brainwashes him once again. No worries, he is partially cured by the end so he remembers enough to take her down, but naturally he doesn’t take any prisoners.

Not that this film needed any more subplots to destroy the momentum, but after a “Miller Time” moment (Downing a lot of beers) Raymond remembers an event from the past. He met a girl and instantly they fell in love, but his mother warned him to get away from her and he made sure to listen. The flashback felt like it just kept on going for ages and ages. It barely even mattered in the end and just added two more individuals for Raymond to murder in the end. Civil War definitely handled the concept better, but I suppose that this goes without saying. Even the fight scene between Marco and the guy who worked for Raymond wasn’t any fun, but I suppose that I should be grateful to have a fight scene at all.

The bottom line is that this film just wasn’t any fun in the end. My films need to at least have some entertaining aspect to them, but there was none of that to be found here. I felt bad for everyone that Raymond destroyed, but not quite as much for him. The police should have had the election guarded a lot better, especially considering that Marco knew that Raymond might try something. Letting him go on his own was definitely not their best strategy. Of course, they did foil the Soviet plan, but apparently there are many more of them hiding in the country already. The film doesn’t end with a whole lot of hope for the Americans, but at least we know that they won in the end. I tried to think of a silver lining here, but I really can’t. This is the kind of film that will have you staring at the clock on the wall for its entire duration. There are no positives or saving graces here. I suppose you could at least make the argument that it could have been worse though.

Overall, The Manchurian Candidate is another critically acclaimed film that ends up falling completely flat. None of the characters are likable and most of them are only introduced so they can be destroyed later on. The brainwashing was way too complete and unbreakable. Especially since it has already been years that have passed, I find it hard to believe that it would be so effective. Just looking at a deck of cards is basically enough to stop Raymond. The whole thing was just too easy for the Soviets from start to finish. I don’t really blame the government for not believing Marco since this is all a rather unbelievable story, but it didn’t make his job any easier. I definitely do not recommend this film so watch it at your own peril.

Overall 0/10

A Bucket of Blood Review

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It’s time to take a look at one of the worst films that I have ever seen. It ranks up there with Sucker Punch and Amityville Horror. This film is so horrendously bad that you will be staring at your watch through most of it and the film feels like it is 3 hours. There’s not a single redeemable part of the film and it just keeps going from bad to worse. Of course, the title was a fairly obvious indicator that this film was going to be terrible, but I don’t think anyone suspected just how terrible it would be.

The main character is named Walter and he’s a psychotic mass murderer who works as a waiter for a small restaurant. One day he sees a cat and realizes that he can finally realize his ambitions and destroys it, turning it into a statue. That’s his favorite hobby after all and slowly but surely he starts to murder other people and turns them all into statues. Nobody can tell that there is a human body of rotting flesh inside of the clay though so their noses must all be stuffed from the super large amounts of smoke inside of the cafe. The shop owner knows that Walter is going around murdering everyone, but he also knows that each murder increases his profits tremendously so he turns the other way. Can he afford to do that forever or will he have to make a move?

The police also send an agent into the restaurant to stop the ongoing drug problem there. Everyone is always high in this establishment so it is tricky to find out who is actually dealing the goods. Especially when everyone has a hand in it. The detective decides that it’s just too much trouble and decides to attack Walter. Walter destroys him of course since police training is no match for a very scrawny fellow with a frying pan. The cops never find out what happened to the detective and barely seem to care as they are written out of the film completely.

Walter has a lot of friends to stick up for him as well. The shop owner’s daughter loves the paintings and encourages Walter to get more by any means necessary. There are a few drunk guys who are always yelling nonsense about acorns and reality who love Walter’s paintings as well. They think that he is a visionary and while they don’t like money, they like what you can buy with money. More beers for everyone! If only they knew the truth about Walter! Well, in the climax we get a chase scene as Walter tries to destroy the main heroine when she rejects him and places the friend zone card. Walter outruns everyone for quite a while and proves that he’s used to fleeing the scene. Eventually he destroys himself since the stress was too much for him. The drunk guy even makes a pun about this and the film ends on that chipper note.

“Is It Over!” I found myself thinking as I fled the scene as well. This film was just so preposterously bad that it was a thrill so see it all over. The film tries to be funny by having as many extreme and unrealistic characters as possible, but the end result is actually that everyone simply comes off as being unlikable instead. Also, I’ll never be fine with the idea of a mass murderer being the main character. The whole point of a main character is that he or she should be a likable protagonist. Someone that you can root for. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the main character has to be a hero, but if he is a villain like in this case, then it better be something comically mild like theft or it’s about the villain becoming a hero. A full fledged villain with no morals as the main character? That’s really not going to bode well for the film in the long run.

The film may even be more cringe worthy than Sucker Punch if you ask me although it’s tough. Sucker Punch is more depressing, but it also doesn’t have any animal violence and it has action scenes. A Bucket of Blood is just tough to watch since it’s so terrible and wince worthy, but it’s not nearly as repulsive as Sucker Punch. It’s definitely a tough fight and at least I can guarantee that I’ll never see this film again. I’d highly recommend taking a pass on it if I were you readers as well.

Overall, A Bucket of Blood is even worse than the title would suggest. All of the characters are nonsensical, unlikable, and corrupt characters. There is nobody to root for, there is animal violence, and the pacing is horrible. There is no soundtrack and the film’s effects are terrible as well. If you want to watch an old film with a lot of class, check out Superman vs The Mole Man. It fixes just about all of the problems that I had with this film and then some. It’s the kind of film where you’ll walk away with a grin instead of a groan.

Overall 0/10

Poltergeist II The Other Side Review

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They say that it’s darkest before the Dawn. That may be the case for Poltergeist as this film was pretty terrible, but the next one is supposed to be even worse. Int his case, it may just stay in darkness for a while. Poltergeist II was a bad idea from the start, but I feel like it didn’t even try. It had a humorous moment or two during the film, but that’s about all that I can say for it.

Steve and Diane are still trying to get over the death of their old house via the Poltergeist monsters. It’s been a while and they’ve mostly settled into the new place. After the mother dies, the Poltergeists decide to make a return. One of them impersonates the lady for a while, but Carol figures out that it’s a trap and warns the other characters that they’re back! One of the ghost busting professionals arrives to help out, but is he really a hero?

Where to start with this trainwreck right!? Well, let’s go into the positive part first. I do like how Steve reacts to some of the situations. For example, the Indian known as Taylor went to the family and said that the house was okay after the heroes had nearly been destroyed. Steve then answers that Taylor can stay there since it’s so safe as he dashes off in the car. They really have no reason to trust Taylor after all and the guy is pretty suspect at times. Steve tends to take things in stride and he’s always got a sarcastic comeback for when the going gets tough. That’s the kind of skills that I expect to see from someone like him. Unfortunately, that’s the only real positive in the film.

Let’s go back to Taylor. This guy’s a truly pointless character who is full of himself and doesn’t actually help the others. He helps one of the kids try to become a man by giving him scratches with a sharp twig or something of that sort. It was pretty bad and just shows how crazy he is as Taylor talks about how kids fight in wars and such to justify these decisions. Taylor always hides when the villains appear as he prefers to let Steve do all of the fighting. He hangs out in the background until the coast is clear. He also continually lies to the main character about his car being angry so that he can steal it at the end. I don’t see why this character was called int to help at all as he was one of the worst characters.

Next up on the cringe worthy checklist is the main villain. Kane is an old pastor who was delusional and thought that the world would end so he buried everyone in a cave and forced them all to die. They apparently lost their minds as nobody thought to try and attack him so they could get out. They outnumbered the guy like 20-1 and they just let themselves die from hunger and thirst? You’ve got to be kidding me. He got supernatural powers somehow and can turn into a giant monster. The monster form looked decently cool I suppose, but its first form was a grotesque looking skeleton that hatched from its worm form. It was pretty repulsive the whole time. Just to make sure that the viewers didn’t like the villain, the movie decided to make him depraved as well.

In one of those scenes that added nothing to the film except a death warrant on its overall score, Kane tries to force himself on Diane and the scene is just sooooo terrible. We don’t need more Sword Art Online scenes folks, this is really what doomed Poltergeist II to a 0 although it would have only been a 1 at best otherwise. The focus on the actual ghosts was basically forgotten in this film as Kane was the only true villain. When Taylor talks about Kane, he almost hinted that the guy was the devil incarnate at first, but later on he just turns out to be your average loony. No amount of character development could have made him a compelling villain though.

Did I mention that Steve is also very weak when it comes to strength of will? All Kane needs to mind control him in this film is to make eye contact and Steve was instantly unable to do anything about the whole situation. He nearly let Kane in at that point and it’s good that Carol was around. None of the characters seemed to know what they were doing when faced with supernatural threats. It’s also intriguing how the insurance companies acknowledge that the house is missing without actually coming through on the insurance. Really…?

Let’s elaborate a little more on how the characters are terrible. Steve knows that Kane could show up at any minute so instead of preparing his will for round 2…he decides to go and have a beer. He’s so drunk that he doesn’t see Kane (Now in the form of an insect) inside of the bottle and swallows him. Kane messes around in Steve’s body for a while before Steve finally spits him out, but why would he be drinking at all in such a situation? Carol constantly freezes with fear whenever the villains appear. You’d think that after the first film she would be a little more used to dealing with supernatural forces right? There’s not much to say about Diane, but she can be a little unreasonable when the heroes were running from the ghosts. Staying in the car was their best strategy after all.

Also, where would a bad horror film be without the obligatory bath scene right? As per usual, it’s pointless and shouldn’t be around. It’s not as drawn out and painfully unbearable as in the average film, but it’s still around which is not cool. It’s basically just adding insult to injury by this point. Basically, the key message is do not watch this film. It just had no idea where it was going from start to finish and was a mess.

Overall, Poltergeist II is quite bad. It doesn’t really know what its doing at this point. It’s not really trying to be a horror film as nothing even gets remotely horror esque aside from the monster form at the end. All of the characters make foolish decisions and Taylor was a very poorly written “hero”. We find out that some iffy truths about what may have happened with his tribe way back when, but it has nothing to do with anything. This film wouldn’t even exist if the characters made smart decisions. If you want to watch a good horror film….don’t watch this one!

Overall 0/10

The Shining Review

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This review is of the edited TV-14 version. The film couldn’t get much lower than a 0 anyway, but keep in mind that this review and all thoughts within it pertain to this specific version.
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I think Stephen A. Smith put it best in one of his videos while talking about Tim Tebow. I disagreed with him there, but the words fit this movie perfectly. Paraphrasing a little here. “Let’s just be straight about this. It was abysmal, It was embarrassing, It was pathetic in every sense of the word”….etc. I think that sets the tone for this review quite well. There are few films that I’ve seen which are as bad as the Shining and hopefully that list will stay small as this film was just completely terrible. On my reviews even when I can’t stand something I typically keep it mild. The quote was a loophole as I don’t use the words pathetic, trash, or other strong adjectives to keep my reviews more mild…but think of a word and it would fit in here. Still, I’ll try to attack it in a mild way while reminding you why this is a film to stay away from….come at me!

The film starts out with a psychotic mad man being accepted for the job of staying in the school throughout the winter to make sure that everything is working perfectly. The writers forgot about the concept of spoilers so the principal decides to layout exactly what is going to happen for the rest of the film within the first 3 minutes. The last people who took the job where a family just like the main one and the father went crazy and destroyed everyone. He lets the new guy know so that fate can repeat itself. Then he dashes off after the group tour and Jack decides to follow this example and tries to destroy everyone. He wanders off into a forest and we remember why nobody goes into mazes without an escape route anymore.

With the whole film spoiled in the opening minutes, that’s the cue for the audience to start looking at the clock to wonder when this will all be over. The film is very pretentious in the sense that it is constantly trying to be scary and fails miserably at every turn. At least Five Nights at Freddy’s is almost a parody with its constant jump scares so you can admire the effort. This film will have Jack stare at the screen menacingly for minutes at a time and call it a day. Remember the old saying, even the best of scenes can be watered down if you stretch it out long enough. This film reuses the same tired gimmicks over and over again.

Keep in mind, since I thought this film was terrible, everything will seem even worse than usual. The instant you know that you dislike the film that you are seeing and you watch it make error after error, you become disconnected from it and then everything is even more fake. The characters are all really unlikable and the big scene where Jack tries to break through the door is one that we’ve all seen dozens of times before during the famous console wars of PS4 vs Xbox One. The sony fans used is constantly to show why their side was superior and the famous picture is almost a parody at this point as well.

The film tries to hint that there are ghosts involved, but I don’t buy this for a nanosecond. See, Jack is simply delusional and he wants to believe that there are ghosts. He just busted through the door on his own after imagining the lock picking sounds. The painting at the end? Another delusion of grandeur and just the film taking another shot at some sequel bait, but not realizing that the bait has to actually be edible for the fish to bite. Since the film is one big negative…let’s take a look at exactly why it blew up.

Animal violence…nooooooooooo. Well, actually, there isn’t any real animal violence to speak of. That just speaks to how bad the rest of the film was. First off, the film actually engages in the fanservice trap to the fullest extent as actual nudity is present in the original version, but luckily censored in the edited one. It’s still a very drawn out scene that adds nothing to the plot and it just abysmal so you’ll want to take the time to quickly watch something on Youtube or go grab some dinner. That’s strike 20 by that point, but let’s keep going.

Again, the characters are all unlikable. There’s no sympathy here. The wife should have left a long time ago after we find out Jack’s past and Jack was always a villain so nobody should even pretend that he is a good guy. The plot is already hard to watch because none of the characters are making the right moves. There’s even a Chef who is supposed to be likable, but loses any chance at being a good character once we see the sketchy paintings he has in his room. Then he also proved to be a very unintelligent character as he walks up…slowly? to the big mansion without a plan. Yes, that sentence isn’t grammatically correct, but it’s a meme to bear with me here.

There aren’t really any other characters as the cast is painfully small and doesn’t do the film any favors. Conveniently, the cops are too far away to come and help even though they should have suspected something when there was no response on the intercom. Maybe they should go up and investigate? Nah…it’s just the snow. Everyone contributes to the film’s issues and a problem is that Jack gets way too much screentime even after we know that he’s crazy. It just doesn’t make any sense if you ask me. Why do we need to watch his long delusional dreams about being in a bar and showing us what a terrible person he is? The film has way too much padding and it hurts the movie although it wasn’t going to be much good anyway.

The atmosphere for the film also makes it a drag as well. Instead of being scary, the film ends up being dull and a waste of time. It has tense music for just about every scene to the point where it’s like having a ton of consecutive jump scenes over and over again. The film is really trying to scare you in every single scene and that’s why it ends up failing. You simply can’t try to overdo a gimmick like that and hope for it to actually work. It’s the classic rule that all “horror” films must follow.

Overall, The Shining is a truly terrible film and it just goes to show that some legendary movies really haven’t aged well and probably couldn’t start well. The Shining is touted as a great horror film and one of the scarier ones, but it lacks any edge and the drawn out scenes are more liable to make you sleepy and hungry as opposed to scared. It’s hard to even know where to begin on how to improve this film to be honest. Plots about the father being evil and abusive are always doomed to fail as the actual story is founded on a terrible premise. Kids can’t hold their own film and this film tried to pull that off a lot to no success. The mother is just too weak willed for the story and puts up with things when she should leave. The film’s problems are numerous and rather than trying to correct them, the Shining is a film that’s best left on the shelf collecting dust. I’d sooner rewatch the Conjuring film. Still, if you need to think up the ultimate punishment for an intense money match in Smash Bros, having someone watch this film and Sucker Punch back to back would probably be the ticket. If you want to see a horror film, I’d sooner check out the original live action Scooby Doo film!

Overall 0/10

Pay It Forward Review

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Try to think of the last terrible film that you’ve seen. Congratulations, you’ve just pictured Pay It Forward! I thought that the film looked underwhelming and potentially bad from the trailer, but I was still not prepared for the total and utter trainwreck that this turned out to be. We’re talking Sucker Punch and Daredevil levels of bad here folks so strap in and get ready as this film had no positives about it!

That’s good though since we can skip that part. The movie is about the concept of paying it forward. Essentially, what that means is that you will do something nice for someone and that person will return the favor by helping out enough strangers. If we lived in a Utopia world with no bad guys, then eventually everyone would be helping each other out. How such a nice message could get mixed up like this is beyond me, but Pay It Forward manages to pull this off.

Trevor is the main kid of this film and he comes up with the Pay It Forward idea. He tries to help by bringing a homeless person into his house. It may be a nice thought, but a really naive one and it only worked out because the guy happened to be a nice person. That’s…definitely not how things would usually go. He then decides to help his teacher by trying to get him together with his mom. That’s where most of the trainwreck is.

Eugene is the teacher and he doesn’t want to get into romance. He likes his simple life as it helps him to know what he should expect each day. He continues to deny the advances until Trevor tells him that he basically has to fall in love with Arlene (The mother) or else bad things will happen to the main characters as Trevor’s dad is abusive and a drunk. So…there goes Eugene’s choice. Whether he knows it or not, the choice has been taken out of his hands as he definitely can’t just leave with a clear conscience. The iffy way that the romance was handled was definitely terrible.

Naturally, the alcoholic father part was another unnecessary addition to try and make the film a little more grim-dark. This film was really pushing that for the Oscar bait as the mom had to work at a strip club to earn her salary and there were bullies who beat up on the other kids and nobody would report them. So much for the teachers and other students right? Get ready for some spoilers, not that it matters for a film like this. To really show that this film would not have a happy ending, the writers decided to let the bullies win for once as they kill Trevor. Yeah…the bullies actually came out on top with no ramifications. We can assume that they were given a slap on the wrist and taken to juvie since the teacher and mom saw them, but that was a pretty lousy way to end the film. Actually, slight update. According to Wikipedia, the bullies are seen at the funeral. Yeah…I guess they just got a reeeeeally slight slap on the wrist and I doubt anyone actually believes that they are sincere about this action. Having them at the funeral is just insulting to be honest.

For most of the movie, I had been planning on giving it 2 stars. Even without the ending it was pretty bad so a 2 felt fair, but then the ending happened and I quickly bumped it down to a 0. It’s like the film no longer had any point so it and it was almost trying to discourage people from using the Pay it Forward technique in real life. It’ll never reach everyone, but it’s still nice to help people out. This film basically just shows that you’ll probably get killed for it.

For more grim-dark, Arlene’s mother is homeless and is also an alcoholic. This is relevant because….well, it’s not. The film just gave us these extra plots for the lols and to show us just how tough Trevor’s life is. We already got that though. For extra drama, Trevor decides not to try and work through the situation with his mom, but run away instead. Trevor wasn’t a likable character in this film from the start and I still think that kids can’t hold their own movies, but this just made him look even worse. If the main characters hadn’t found him in time, he would have been done for as a bad guy as waiting at the airport. Can’t let any of the strangers be nice guys once you leave the neighborhood right? So, this essentially means that none of the characters are likable. None of them are even close to being likable either.

Wait, I forgot another grim-dark subplot! Eugene’s face and a lot of his body was burned by his father who was also alcoholic and abusive. The film decided to really throw these plots at us and never let up for a second. There was never a feel good moment in the film as it was all just really dark and terrible. It’s sad that films like this still come out in theaters. Straight to TV is fine so we can all skip it and give each other a thumbs up, but this film really had no quality.

I’m not going to say that it is the worst film of all time, but it’s certainly one of the worst films out there. You can’t go lower than a 0 right? While it is not as grim-dark and winceworthy as Sucker Punch or overly dark and violent like Daredevil, it uses a mixture of those things to get to how bad this film is. If this ever does get a remake, I think it would be better, but I don’t see it being very good at all.

We can’t even blame the genres for this as Pay It Forward is a romance drama. Those two genres are tough to get right, but it is possible. If anything, the film should have just went for more of a light theme. That would have worked much better with the plot and it certainly would have been appropriate. I was half expecting some animal violence by the end just so the film could cover all of the bases. It had the forced romance and all of the dark themes so one more area wouldn’t have hurt right? I was pretty surprised to see Trevor get stabbed on screen as violence against kids is severely frowned upon, but I’m guessing that this film wanted to be controversial so it could be on the news or something. Well, I’m pretty sure that it failed since nobody talks about this film anymore.

Overall, Stay away from this film. This is the kind of title that makes Pixels look like an utter masterpiece. Seriously, Pixels is a thousand times better than this film and I gave it a very low rating as well. At least that film has some fun moments and good action scenes. Pay It Forward has nothing so it just ends up being a boring ride where you will be counting the minutes until it’s over. If you want to see a film with a lot of drama and action, check out Yugioh 3D Bonds Beyond Time instead. You can thank me later!

Overall 0/10

The Curse of Frankenstein Review

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If you thought that the Dracula film was bad, just wait until you see this film! Hammer Film Productions definitely seems to be slipping when it comes to horror films. This is their weakest installment yet and I fear for whatever sequels may follow this one. Frankenstein’s never been a likable concept for me and this film won’t help that. Rather than scare you, this will simply leave you dissatisfied.

Frankenstein starts off the story in prison and tells a priest about how he got here. He was a scientist who was rich and he convinced his mentor to dabble in the ways of science together. It was all innocent and fun at first, but then Frankenstein decided that he wanted to be able to create life. To do this, he would have to rob many graves and even murder people so that he could get the parts that he needed. His partner backed off at this point, but nothing could stop Frankenstein until he finally created a monster!

Where to start with this one right? Well, the main big negative is the fact that it’s incredibly violent and gruesome. Seriously, we’re talking Daredevil levels of violence at some points as you see a lot of body parts as Frankenstein assembles them and it’s all very gruesome and gross. It may be old so the effects aren’t great, but it’s still rather bad and one character’s head is even cut off. We don’t see it as we only see from Frankenstein’s shoulders and up as he is cutting, but it’s still a really bad scene and just keeps on hurting a film that wouldn’t have been any good anyway.

As explained, Frankenstein is a really bad character. He’s essentially insane and a very cruel person. His partner is supposed to be the likable character, but he wasn’t. Rather than reporting the acts of murder and grave robbing, the partner just stays silent. He even leaves the house, but decides to come back and tempt fate for no real reason at that point. In the final battle, he decides to run off and grab some help instead of staying to fight the monster. You can see why he did it based on what happened in the first round, but it’s still a dicey situation since the heroine could have gotten injured.

The heroine’s portrayal isn’t too good as she is here thanks to an arranged marriage from when she was a child. She claims that this doesn’t matter and even though she has never seen Frankenstein before, she will love him. As the partner says, she’s mixing up gratitude for love. (As Frankenstein provided for her family since she was a child) She also acts like less of an equal to Frankenstein and more of an underling as she even allows the husband to have an area that is off limits to her. That’s something that would be absurd in a current movie and the partner kept hinting that Frankenstein was doing something hideous in there so she should have gone in sooner.

There’s also a rather unnecessary subplot where Frankenstein decides to cheat on his fiance/future wife with a maid for no real reason. Then he dumps her when he feels like it and she is naturally killed off by the monster. It’s just another scene to show us how cruel Frankenstein is, but we already got the memo on that so this scene was really just fluff. The ending is supposed to be the scene of comupence for Frankenstein as we see that justice has finally caught up, but it’s at the expense of making the partner look bad once again. Essentially, he just visited Frankenstein to rub the whole thing in his face and lie by omission to ensure that Frankenstein was doomed.

It’s a very grim ending to a grim film. Dracula and Frankenstein’s movies were both rather solemn, but at least Dracula was light hearted some of the time and The Mummy was fun most of the time. This film didn’t really have any good moments once Frankenstein became an adult. It’s too bad because the beginning had some slight potential, but then everything went downhill at breakneck speed.

As for the monster, he is made to look as ugly and broken as possible to hammer in the fact that he’s a monster. The problem is that they also make him look like a slave and you feel bad for the monster. It has no idea what its doing and it is forced to obey commands before it is shot more than once and things never go its way. It destroys anyone who comes close, but its effectively mindless so it’s like a wild animal attacking someone. The monster is not a likable character by any means, but the whole plot is just sad.

I’m really glad that this film wasn’t quite up to the feat of being 2 hours or longer. As it is, the film started to get tiresome very quickly and I’m not sure how much longer it could have kept plummeting down the well before critics would start giving it awards for being the worst film of the year. Another negative for me would be that the victims are very distasteful in this film. The monster goes after a blind, old man. Seriously? What’s the point of making the victim so helpless already. It just makes the scene even more distasteful. Another victim is an old man who is thrown off of a high floor and quickly dies. Frankenstein fools the guy’s colleagues of course and the only person who knows the truth decides not to stop him.

Overall, This is a film that you should skip at all costs. It’s definitely one of the worst films that I’ve seen and I’ve seen quite a few stinkers in my day. This one just makes almost every mistake that it can possibly bump into except for the animal violence and we did see a dead animal before it was brought back to life, which would mildly count as there is no real reason to having it there. The very plot/concept was doomed from the start and the excessive violence plus the distasteful deaths sank it even deeper into the pits of infinity and beyond. At least this reminds me why the classic monsters have nothing on the modern ones like the Teletubbies. What we need, is a reboot of the film with the tone of Avengers mixed in with the guest star power of Pixels. So long as it is created correctly, that is a film that could have some potential. Perhaps, a lot of potential! They would just need to change the concept a little, maybe make Frankenstein a robot or something and skip the whole grave robbing plot along with the rest of the plots. Until then, if you want to watch a good horror film, check out Scooby Doo Zombie Island!

Overall 0/10

Bunny Lake Is Missing Review

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It’s time to review one of the worst films of all time! At least, one of the worst films that I’ve seen anyway and this is a title that I highly recommend staying away from. It’s essentially a tragedy story with a lot of randomly bad elements thrown in to make the whole situation more tragic even though this is unnecessary. It results in a film that’s less fun than watching yourself lose a Super Smash Bros match 100x in a row.

Ann moves to a new place and decides to drop her daughter off at a local school as she heads home to get everything set up. Unfortunately, her daughter is missing when she gets back there and Ann wonders what could have happened. There is no proof to suggest that she even exists so the police are skeptical as well. Ann will have to find her daughter quickly if she is to get anyone to believe her and that could be tricky in such a big place.

All right, let’s start off with some of the big negatives and work our way down. The first big negative is Ann’s brother, Stephen. See, the film makes it so obvious that he is insane and villainous from some of his first scenes that you will likely have a good idea of who the villain is. Maybe a red herring? No, because you are not meant to suspect him. He’s very over the top in how much he wants to protect Ann and find the daughter, but you know that he’s evil from his actions. He was a terrible character and a really bad addition to the film, which severely hurt its chances from the get go. His final scenes are just even worse and a waste of time here.

The next big negative is that the film introduces another villain for no real reason. The land lord is another criminal who just wants to seduce the people around him and he’s also insane. Again, there’s literally no reason to add him except to give us red herring who’s pure evil. Red Herrings are supposed to be subtle and not just thrown around for the audience to be tricked. The audience is much more clever for that and won’t fall for such tactics. The land lord does nothing but drag the film down even more.

Just to stress how dangerous the daughter’s situation is, the film has background characters make unnecessary comments about it like how they ended up finding another child who had gone missing a while back. These extra details are there to make the film darker and more tragic, but they just make you want to turn off the TV that much sooner. We get that the daughter is missing, but we want the film’s focus to be on finding her, not in explaining why this is so bad. Common sense tells us why she is in danger.

The film is just very distasteful in almost every scene and it’s really hard to watch. The writers wanted this tragedy to be as dark as they could, but what they forgot is that tragedies are automatically dark so you don’t need to keep on throwing in extra details at us. It’s like making an emotional film where you try to throw as many sad events at the main character as you can to make us sympathize with him/her. After a while, it’s simply overkill and makes the film a burden to watch.

These films also rely on some plot hax to keep going like how Bunny was actually abducted from the school. It’s hard to believe that someone could just walk in and grab her. Or that nobody would notice her being taken for that matter. It’s just very dicey, but to be expected as the plot had to happen somehow right? At least the policeman in charge of the operation tried a lot of different tactics to find her, but he seemed to be trying to be too clever for his own good. He was constantly metaphorically stroking his mustache as he kept on exposing Stephen in logical errors of the brother’s story, but he wouldn’t do anything about it. It all seemed like a game to him as he would learn more and more about the case, but not actually do anything. You also know from the start that the police won’t be able to do much so it’s hard to even have any suspense for that plot.

Then, the tragedy elements are focused on for just about the whole film so there’s no time for anything else. The film’s opening 5-10 minutes were decent as Ann punched her way through the crowds (Not literally) and tried to find her daughter, but that’s because the daughter wasn’t actually missing yet. She was, but they didn’t know that so the atmosphere was still calm. It was enjoyable to see the retro school life and Ann definitely had a strong personality. From there, the film just kept trying to hit you in the emotions far too often to be effective.

The climax of the film is probably one of the worst parts of the film. It goes on for way too long and I doubt that many people were watching this film so that they could see a psychotic episode. It just kept on going and going and you would just be waiting for the film to end already. It felt very long from the start all the way to the finish line. This film could easily be compared to Sucker Punch, which is another 0 star film. Both of them are incredibly dark and not enjoyable to watch. Sucker Punch has some action scenes at least, but has darker plot lines so they both end up being relatively equivalent.

Overall, This is the kind of film that you should never watch even if someone paid you too. It’s simply not worth exposing yourself to this title and you should just try to forget it as soon as possible. The terrible characters mixed with the bad climax and unrelenting unnecessary additions just end up transforming what could have been an almost decent film into a legendarily bad one. If you want a film that is fun to watch with plenty of excitement and laughs, just check out Yugioh 3D Bonds Beyond Time. That film is essentially the opposite of this one in just about every way. It has likable characters, a good plot, and an epic climax. If you’re going to watch any film, it should definitely be that one!

Overall 0/10