Category Archives: 3 Star Movies

The Holiday Review

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You might as well call this the rebound movie because that is constantly what is going on here. The characters jump from one person to the next with limitless speed. It’s completely uncanny and ultimately takes away from any message of true love that the film is trying to express. It ends up getting too dramatic and so ultimately none of the characters really make a lot of sense here. I cringed a lot more during this movie than any other recent title.

The movie starts off by introducing us to two characters who have both experienced a lot of heartache recently. First is Amanda who is super rich and owns her own film trailers company where she excels. Unfortunately her boyfriend cheated on her and so she breaks up with him and now has nobody to spend Christmas with. She decides to enroll in this super sketchy program where you swap houses with someone and flies all the way to England to get started on her vacation. Now she can be away from all of the usual neighborhoods which could remind her of her ex but she just can’t be alone anymore. So when some guy shows up at her new house she is ready for a quick one night stand.

Meanwhile Iris is having guy trouble of her own as she is in an unrequited love with one of the guys at work. He’s engaged to another woman and has lots of affairs but she is satisfied with just receiving his attention sometimes. He knows that she likes him and continues to exploit this fact by telling her that he needs her and letting her get some action now and again. It’s a very unhealthy dynamic though so Iris ends up swapping houses with Amanda. Now she can finally enjoy being rich for a little while but the colleague continues to call her because he needs some help on his projects. Can she learn to block his number in time?

In a lot of these adventures I really don’t get why the characters don’t just block the number. Seriously it’s not that hard and then you don’t have to worry about seeing any of those messages or calls ever again. In particular from the two characters I also can’t really sympathize with Iris all that much. She’s just too much of a pushover. Unrequited love is one thing. Sure that can be rough but at the same time it’s not this huge mess she’s making it out to be. When you’re in love with someone then you’re happy as long as they are. A crush is when you’re sad that your girl/guy got snagged before you could make your move. True love is much deeper than that and so as long as the girl he is with is a good person then that’s it.

So her jealousy the whole time isn’t great. You either move on or just really enjoy the moments you have with the guy. You do not continue being a homewrecker or just pouting the whole time. Then when you find out that the guy actually knows the whole situation and keeps weaponizing it, that is when Iris should have gotten out of there. How does she even love the guy when he’s this toxic? Yeah her plot just didn’t win me over in the slightest and it really hurts her as a character.

There’s a scene near the end that hurts her a lot too. So she’s ready to rebound with the nice music guy when her ex shows up again. Iris is ready to throw all of that away immediately to get back together with him and the only thing that stops her is that he’s still engaged. Meaning?? She would have gone back together with him if he had claimed that he called it off. It’s a horrible look and is why I can’t root for any of the romances in this film because this kind of thing keeps on happening.

Miles is the guy she’s supposed to end up with but he’s not much better. For starters I think he is a bit too much of a flirt. I half forgot that he was even dating someone because when he meets Iris he’s being super friendly, gives long awkward stares, kisses her on the cheek twice later on, etc. So then his girlfriend cheats on him so he feels bad and goes to Iris for the rebound…..only to then go back to the ex real quick when she asks him over. Ultimately he says no this time and goes back to Iris but again why is he tempted at such a late date? It implies that she could have won him over depending on how she handled this. Real bad look for Miles.

Men and Women reading this blog, always remember to know your worth. If you’re someone’s second choice then that isn’t the person you want to be with. The other wise words of wisdom I’m going to impart is to be careful if someone is too easy as well. Because the way you obtain someone is often the way you lose them. So if someone you like offers you a one night stand right away…know that the offer may be extended to others as well. So yeah when it comes to advice in the ways of love, I’m your guy. I’m something of a romantic expert myself after all….

Yeah back to the movie though, we’re cutting back to Amanda’s plot now. Her plot is also one that’s hard to be sympathetic with. I will say that she handled the Ex way better than Iris though. He cheated so she punched him in the face and kicked him out. Boom that was it for him. No second thoughts, no half hearted apologies, etc. He was gone and out of the movie. Where Amanda’s plot goes wrong is it takes a few seconds upon meeting some complete stranger for her to go all the way with him. Are you kidding me? If that’s similar to how fast she went with the first guy then it’s not too surprising that he ended up being a cheater. The entire point of dating is to find out the true character of a person after all. So you don’t get to learn about that if you’re skipping that whole phase.

Of course, knowing someone isn’t super easy and there are tons of ins and outs to romance that take years of experience and other parts that just require faith. This guy named Graham has a lot of secrets of his own which he doesn’t share and that does make him look bad by the end. Ultimately this plot was just annoying with Amanda and Graham both appearing to have no morals the whole time. I wouldn’t trust either one with my groceries let alone in a relationship! They just seem way too desperate.

The only real quality character here is Arthur. He’s a fairly old guy who is having health issues but still has a fairly positive attitude. He’s a fierce guy too who doesn’t let anyone push him around. He injected some humor into the film and had some of the best moments. The film could actually be inspiring and emotional when it wanted to be rather than being super dramatic all of the time. So this was definitely when the film was at its best. If it could have skipped the romance and just focused on making friends and learning how to enjoy yourself then that would have been a much better film.

The fact that the main characters cannot function by themselves without constantly being in a relationship is in itself a red flag. You should be able to be fairly self sufficient as needed because if not then you’re probably going to be a very clingy partner. You should always have your own interests as well so if you guy/gal needs to be on a business trip or working late you have something to do beyond blasting their phone with endless texts and things like that. None of these characters really seemed all that happy on their own so they aren’t in that perfect spot yet.

Overall, The Holiday is one of those films where you don’t really buy into the characters having a happy ending. They’re all too quick to rebound so it’s hard to see how they could possibly trust each other. There’s just too much baggage and so the relationships probably won’t last. The film could have really worked on making the characters more likable all around if you ask me. The writing isn’t the best and while the film is long, it stuffs itself with so many plots that it doesn’t really matter. It’s just used to create more and more problems for the heroes with made them more and more irredeemable. There are some fairly high quality songs thrown into the mix at least though.

Overall 3/10

Highlander Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Okay it’s time to look at a film that has a very interesting plot but unfortunately it is completely wasted by having a lot of screen time take place in the past and also getting lost in the grittiness of it all. This should have been a really fun action movie with a whole lot of excitement going on and instead it was all squandered. What a shame.

The film starts off with Connor dueling an immortal in a parking lot. There’s a lot of destruction but in the end Connor wins and absorbs the guy’s life essence. The cops arrest Connor but he gets out due to their being a lack of evidence. So what’s going on here? Well basically there are a bunch of immortals running around so there is finally a tournament to bump them all off. The only way for an immortal to die is to be destroyed (So they’re not really immortal tbh unless you’re just thinking lifespan and in a way that is what some people think of but to me you’re not truly an immortal unless you are unable to die) so everyone is going to fight until there is only one immortal left standing. The final battle appears to be fated to be Connor vs Kurgan as they have a deep history.

Okay so the first massive mistake the film makes is constantly jumping between the present and the past. In general as a rule of thumb you do not want to do this. If you absolutely have to do it though, try to get all of the scenes out of the way early so we can get on with it. Instead this just keeps on going over and over and over again right through to the end. You’re sick and tired of seeing the past each time. It also has to be one of the most generic immortal storylines you’ll see as everyone betrays the guy because it’s immortal.

I’m always impressed at just how awful humanity is in all of these moments. So you’ve decided to anger a guy who won’t die from normal injuries and just hope that he doesn’t slaughter everyone? They’re super lucky that he doesn’t want to hurt any of them because this was quickly turning into a villain origin story. Then Connor meets a lady and has a romance but of course he won’t grow old while she does so she ends up dying. The film has some extra grit by allowing the villain to get his hands on her while Connor isn’t around which is definitely the worst scene of the film.

It’s off screen fortunately but that really didn’t need to be in the film. We already have so many reasons to dislike Kurgan, this is just piling on at this point. Man I have so many problems with the flashback stuff. Ultimately it’s just not interesting and it’s beating down a point that you could have easily understood from context clues. The only scenes of real importance here is when Ramirez shows up to train Connor and even that could have been off screen. You knew Ramirez was doomed the whole time anyway. The mentor is always doomed in these things. At least he put up a really good fight though.

Ramirez was a decent guy and I give him credit for trying to show Connor the ropes. He really did make the guy a whole lot stronger and also informed him of everything going on. If not Connor would have been at a really disadvantage which is why the whole tournament’s not very fair anyway. If you don’t know someone to give you the info dump then you’re just going to get absolutely wasted when the fighting starts anyway since you won’t even be expecting to have to fight for your life until it’s too late. Not very balanced eh?

Connor is a reasonable main character but not great or anything. He’s all business when it comes to the fights and has experience being an immortal. So that’s all good but you do think he would be a little better at handling himself socially in that respect. For example when the cops showed up at the beginning Connor really didn’t even try to explain himself all that much. At least he could have come up with some kind of crazy story. He’s rich so he might have been able to get away with it a lot easier.

The main villain Kurgan is barely a character so much as he’s just someone that needs to be taken down. He’s pure evil and his only real motivation is to murder everyone. Not exactly a deep character. He’s a strong one to be sure but you’re just waiting for him to go down. I think the film could have made him more interesting and in general I wish we could have seen more of the combatants. For the most part they all just show up to get destroyed as quickly as possible.

Brenda is also a character who doesn’t do a whole lot considering how often she appears. She wants to find clues to Connor and how he got such an old sword. She even resorts to asking him out to trap him while she has her tape recorder on but he sees through the traps rather quickly. I suppose she does have one key moment where she saves him during the fight but that’s not really enough for her to turn the corner and be more interesting.

Highlander is the definition of a film that was way too ambitious and so you end up feeling like it left a ton of meat on the bone. I wanted to learn more about the immortals, see more of the action, and just enjoy the tournament. Instead we’re stuck learning about Connor’s past over and over again and the fights play a backseat role. The actual fights are really good when they occur but they absolutely should have been the main focus and it should not even have been close. When your main characters are all immortals you really can’t go wrong.

Overall, Highlander is a film with a lot of potential but it didn’t focus on the most interesting elements of the premise. It should have been more about the fun immortal fights and everything instead of zipping around in the past. We didn’t need to see all of that to be honest and the past scenes hurt the film tremendously. It tries too hard to be edgy instead of focusing on the fun fights and in the end it definitely did not meet expectations. I would say to just skip this one and watch a different action film like Mortal Kombat instead. Now that one really focuses on the tournament rather than on all of the side stuff and it makes for a better overall experience.

Overall 3/10

Nightmare Alley (2021) Review

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This is a review of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for another remake as we step into the circus this time around. I have to say that the original film defeats this one much like the Death on the Nile original beat the remake. Ultimately this one hangs around a bit too long and just doesn’t manage to surpass the original on anything except visuals. The visuals are really solid after all.

So the movie starts out with Stan on rather hard times and he ends up joining a circus. He does odd jobs around the place and helps with one of the magic tricks. Eventually Stan grows ambitious and figures he can use the trick of fake psychic powers to get huge. He leaves the circus with Molly and they set off to light the world ablaze. It’s all going very well and they have a lot of money now but Stan gets jealous. He wants to be even richer and so he decides to forego the morals and start spooking people with visions of their deceased loved ones and things like that. Molly is completely against the idea and so Stan goes to a local psychiatrist named Lilith. She agrees to help him scam people and will even do him the favor of holding all of his money for him in her vault. That’s real generous. What can go wrong?

I’m going to be honest this part’s a little on the nose. Her name is Lilith like the succubus of legend. She is gladly keeping all of Stan’s money for him since she doesn’t care about material gains and all the while she is recording sessions with Stan where she breaks down his psyche to learn of his dark past. Along the way she’s also seducing him since the guy has no ethics as we’ve already established. Any red flags here? Gee….I can’t even….

So yeah Stan has it all coming to him and you can’t feel bad for him. You could argue that he was never a particularly nice guy but he was in a seedy environment and had to be tough. You can certainly understand that and I wouldn’t hold it against him. The main problem is of course the betrayal once he turns from Molly into the arms of Lilith and also getting so greedy. If he didn’t try so hard the guy could have just stayed plenty wealthy and lived a peaceful life. Instead he just had to get bigger and bigger and bigger as the risk kept growing as well. When you turn your backs on everyone for money that is always going to lead you down the wrong path.

Molly was a good heroine at least, she really tried to keep Stan on the straight and narrow. The thing is, at the end of the day you can’t really control someone else so either they want to do the right thing or they don’t. If they don’t then your hands are really tied the whole time. There’s just not much that you could really do about it. Ultimately she does eventually draw the line although it would have been great if she had left a little sooner and decided not to dress up at all.

Lilith is a pretty solid villain and probably the highlight character of the film. Yes she’s not a good person to say the least but I appreciated her cunning. A large portion of the film is Stan just messing with everyone and showing why he is the smartest guy in the room. Lilith was the first one to challenge that and so they have a meeting of the minds several times. It’s by far the most interesting part of the movie. You really feel like he’s on the back foot the whole time despite his bravado and how tough the guy thinks he is. He’s just not on the same playing field as her and it really shows.

Where the film really falters are all the scenes with the circus. It feels like the film doesn’t really get going until he’s out of the circus and into the city, yet that takes a very long time. A good chunk of the film is to set that up and all of those scenes are rather brutal. We see how Stan’s natural charm carries him far but the whole place is rather dreary and gritty. We also get the scene of eating a chicken which is pretty brutal. Obviously most of its not on screen but it’s set up enough where it’s still pretty bad. You definitely don’t want animal violence like that in any form.

The film’s ending is also leading up to this once again. Now I do think the ending is better than the original. This one leaves you some hope for some kind of master plan or a way for Stan to get out of this. Not that you’re really rooting for Stan by this point but you’re at least hoping that he avoids this fate because you wouldn’t really want that to happen to anyone. It’s a rough way to go and the laugh at the end could mean a few different things. I’d say it’s clear which way the film wants you to interpret it, as complete despair and acceptance but you could still maintain that maybe there is some grand master plan coming into play. After all Stan already knows the playbook to this so hopefully he wouldn’t be fooled so easily.

Overall, Nightmare Alley definitely shows you a circus that would give you nightmares. It can’t be easy having to live in such an environment and most of the people there are hardly around by choice. It’s a place of last resort but that doesn’t really make for an interesting film. Once we’re outside that and into the big city then the film picks up but not enough to overcome the intro. I appreciated the strategic element of the film and wish we had stayed to that more but ultimately this is not a film I would really recommend. I would much sooner say to check out the original instead.

Overall 3/10

Not as a Stranger Review

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It’s time to look at a film that really overstays its welcome. It’s long enough where it keeps bringing up more and more plot points only to completely drop them when it counts. It felt like this movie didn’t have a lot of focus and we have yet another main character who has less strength of character than the foldable chairs you find at the dollar store. This film isn’t it I’m afraid.

The movie starts with introducing us to Lucas who is aspiring to be an amazing doctor. He wants to show the world what a true medical professional is and he believes in the practice. His fellow students are more concerned with how big their cars will be and don’t have the same drive. Unfortunately this makes Lucas rather arrogant. He figures that he can never make a mistake and is always blowing up at everyone. He also runs out of money when his father steals all of it so Lucas comes up with a crazy plan to marry a nurse who fell in love with him. He doesn’t actually love her but he loves the fact that she has some money saved up so he gets together with her so he can use it all up. This launches him into the career of being a doctor but at what cost?

Well not much it turns out because the film barely pays any attention to the fact that he just took her money through deception like this. It’s not really brought up again until the very end of the film and that has to be swept aside when he has his sad moment. The main problem with Lucas is that he’s basically a jerk for the whole movie and never really gets much in the way of consequences from it. Lets start off with the main instance of this here which is marrying Kris for her money.

The film doesn’t actually give this a lot of screentime when it’s a huge deal. Her family doesn’t find out about it or anything and he never has a moment where he thinks about what a rotten thing he did. Nah he just keeps about his business. He never apologizes or anything and that’s absolutely major. It just makes him completely unlikable from the jump. Then throughout the film he doesn’t treat her well as he blows up at her several times. A really bad look no matter how you slice it. He also blows up at his friend Alfred on many occasions.

Each time Alfred’s the one who is the bigger man and just takes it or says they can let it go. Lucas actually uses violence in slamming him into a mirror at one point and later on humiliates him in front of the whole medical staff. Every time Lucas basically gets away scot free without learning a lesson. I think that’s the biggest problem here which is that he never learns a lesson. Usually the main character will reflect and see how what he did was wrong but that never happens here at any point during the adventure. That is probably the most critical out of all the issues.

Then of course we have the part where he ends up having an affair and cheating on his wife. Yet another strike for a character who passed the 3 strikes a long time ago. It’s a really bad look all around and yet another element that he doesn’t get slammed for enough. That’s a real dealbreaker no matter how you slice it. So having someone like this as the main character just doesn’t work. He drags the whole film down the whole time.

You just feel bad for Kris who basically got blinded by love to the point where she was tricked like this. She ended up wasting the best years of her life when maybe she could have ended up finding someone who actually did care about her instead of being used like this instead. She had a whole lot of possibilities in her life and they all got wasted instead. Definitely a shame all around. I wouldn’t say Alfred was a great character or anything but he could have had a better friend as well.

The only part of the film that’s rather solid is how the small town is treated. The big city guys are skeptical about how a doctor could really operate there and how it would all be very backwards and outdated but the local doctor actually runs a fairly tight ship and it’s all pretty sound. All except for the head of the hospital who is unfortunately completely out of his depth and sabotaging everything. It’s a shame when the lazy part is at the top since they can’t be stopped so easily but still for the most part this is how a small town should be portrayed. Everyone was just doing their best to help each other out at any time of the day. The film could have decided to go down the wholesome route and maybe have Lucas finally notice Kris at this point instead of just doubling down on his character.

It’s why I say the film was too long and opened more doors than it could close. Lucas’ father’s plot had to just be taken care of off screen because there was no time for it. We never got to see Lucas reflecting on anything, Kris never got to talk to her family about what was going on, the old surgeon is still using the wrong technique in every operation, etc. I say they should have cut out about an hour, have Lucas head to the small town early on and then make the film more about the character development he goes through there. Obviously you cut out the cheating plot as well and then we’re in business.

Overall, The film had a chance at least to end on a reasonably sad note with the main guy just walking down a cold path on his own. That would have worked out really well but the final moments instead are a little too happy for him. You can make the case that it’s just a moment of quick compassion for someone who’s been through a rough patch and that’s probably true but it doesn’t change anything. So he’s still out of there and that makes the most sense to me. In the end it’s just a bit of a dreary film though because at no point are the characters truly happy. The whole relationship is built upon a lie and at no point does Lucas even feel guilty about it. You could do far better than this film in looking for a solid retro title.

Overall 3/10

The Quiet Man Review

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You guys know I enjoy a good romance as much as the next but when a film has a really bad romance I have to call it out immediately! This one’s just so bad that it’ll leave your head spinning the whole time. The Quiet Man should have stayed quiet this time because the more he talks the more annoying he gets. The film has a long drawn out fight at the end which can be a little entertaining but as a whole the movie was definitely a miss here.

The film starts off with Sean moving to a small village and getting ready for a peaceful life. He used to be a boxer but retired after a certain incident. He will not fight any longer and it’s hard to blame him because things really didn’t go well. He ends up falling for a local lady named Mary and the two start a romance. A problem arises though when her brother won’t accept the engagement and Mary refuses to marry Sean without the guy’s blessing……..and so the start of their romantic issues begin.

The whole thing’s absolutely crazy, ridiculous, and forced. So because of old traditions Mary won’t marry Sean even though it’s obvious that her brother Will has a huge vendetta against Sean and will never OK the thing? Basically he’s upset because the lady he has a crush on (Tillane) gave the house over to Sean instead of him. The whole thing has nothing to do with Mary and yet he won’t let bygones be bygones. When you marry someone, your significant other should trump all others. That includes family, friends, etc.

The fact that Mary won’t get together with Sean over this is such a massive red flag that he should be walking away at this point. Even the way they met up was pretty awful. Sean found Mary going through his house while he was gone so he forces a kiss and she’s still talking tough the whole time and not wanting to admit that she likes him. After a bunch of tough talk they get together only for Will to step in. The romance didn’t start out as a healthy one and it never developed into one. The film gives us no reason for either character to even love each other.

It makes no sense and I’ve already said that but I’m going to keep on saying it! Finally it looks like things are getting better but then Mary won’t be with Sean until they get a gift from Will. Mary wants him to give her money as per tradition and when the guy makes a big deal about it/refuses to give it to Sean she insists that it is non-negotiable. Seriously? She wants Sean to basically go on his knees and beg for it from a guy who is clearly in the wrong. This is why she’s so annoying, the whole thing is blown way out of proportion. She even runs off to ditch Sean early in the morning and he only barely catches up to her in time and has to literally drag her back home. He then fights Will on behalf of her honor but there’s no point to it.

Now I keep blasting Mary here but you have to understand that 50% of this is Sean’s fault as well. You can’t have a relationship with just one person after all and Sean is still putting up with all of this. He should have walked away the instant Mary started acting up like this. He fell in love with her randomly so it’s not like he’s liked her for years. As soon as these red flags popped up then it was time for him to leave. Staying was only empowering her to keep up these crazy actions over and over again. He just needed to nope out of there. She’s literally getting him into trouble by having him pick fights with people in the town who could be dangerous like Will.

Sean obliges and ultimately has the big fight with Will where he could have been seriously injured. The film gets a bit cheesy in the end as after all of this the fight helps them grow close. You’d think it was a Shonen Jump fight or something by the end of this. My big problem with this is that no lessons were learned as a result. Sean and Mary lived happily ever after even though she showed that she did not respect him in the slightest and put having money above his happiness. Sean showed that he is willing to be walked on like this and doesn’t have his full self respect left.

The film adds insult to injury by pairing Will up with Tillane after all of this. Tillane didn’t even like Will and made that clear the whole film, but then by the end she likes him now? Then this guy who was so petty and willing to ruin his sister’s marriage over a little squabble gets to have a happy relationship of his own? The film didn’t seem to realize just how messed up all of the relationships were here and that’s a shame. The punishments just didn’t match the crimes because there were no punishments.

The tone of the film was off the whole time. This is treated like a wholesome romance when it’s anything but. If it was a full on comedy/parody then you can see how the film would deal with this but it’s actually played very seriously. It’s just a really odd film by every stretch and it didn’t work out well for me. It didn’t click and I can safely say that it’s one of the weaker romances that I’ve seen in a while.

Overall, This is a film to stay far away from. The Quiet Man is about a main character who’s not even super quiet. He cracks after a while rather than dealing with the problem upfront and that ends up being a problem. You’ve probably never even heard of this film since it’s been lost to time and that’s a good thing. You want to stay far away from this one as there are plenty of drama and romance titles that are better than this one.

Overall 3/10

The Night Stalker Review

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It’s time for an old school mystery film. It’s probably more appropriate to lead off with calling this one a horror but there is quite a bit of mystery to unfold here as well. It’s a movie that really stands out in some ways particularly thanks to the music but ultimately fumbles the ball before reaching the end zone. It doesn’t have the replay value that it could have achieved otherwise.

The film starts by introducing us to Kolchak, a reporter who has been around the block many times before. Not for the best of reasons as he has been fired from numerous papers but this time he has a whopper of a story. Someone is going around murdering a bunch of women in town and each victim is completely drained of blood. It appears that we have a real life vampire on our hands. However, no matter how much evidence Kolchak is able to pile up, nobody will believe him and the story is being suppressed. Can he gets through to these people in time to save some lives or is he going to have to simply get frustrated as he watches everyone die right before him?

The movie does a great job of getting Kolchak’s frustration through to the audience. After a point you just feel like he has so much evidence and yet nobody will take him seriously. When everyone’s blood is being sucked out how many options do you realistically have? Now I understand if you don’t want to assume he’s a vampire right off the bat so Kolchak has a very reasonable alternative. Lets at least operate on the presumption that someone is psychotic and believes he is a vampire. The cops turn this down too and don’t even want to write about it for fear of a panic. That always has to be one of the worst excuses though. So you’d rather people keep on getting murdered than cause the panic? Sure….

I can’t give the main guy any grief because he does his best but the rest of the characters are all annoying and completely complicit in this. His direct boss is constantly scared of being fired and doesn’t want to cause a scene which means that he is completely useless here. All of the execs feel the same way and of course the cops are often trying to get on his case. They may as well be allies to the vampire after a point because hiding things only goes so far. At one point the entire police force fights the vampire and they lose badly. He’s immune to bullets and basically crushes them. Their reaction is to ignore that this happened and proceed as normal.

The vampire isn’t even subtle after a while. He just breaks into hospitals and murders people as he sees fit because it’s not like they can stop him anyway. It makes sense he would be this brazen when he knows nobody will stop him. That’s why the whole thing is so embarrassing. The film also decides to trip for no reason by having the vampire murder a dog. Pretty bad move the whole time. There was no reason for this and if anything the owner had a good idea as self defense but you know that it’s doomed against a vampire so it just ends up hurting the experience further.

The soundtrack is really good though and a highlight of the movie. It really pops out at you and keeps the movie moving at a fast pace. It’s not the kind of music you would typically expect in a mystery but it works really well. A good soundtrack definitely elevates a scene and it certainly helps make this one more interesting as well. It doesn’t save the film from its issues but at least gives you something fun to listen to.

The writing is also pretty solid. I like the fast paced script at least with the characters all yelling at each other the whole time. There is a ton of banter here and Kolchak really doesn’t hold back no matter who he is talking too. Whether it’s the boss or some random guy Kolchak is going to be yelling and kicking up a fuss immediately. He’s passionate about his work which is a good thing. Also he is a great reporter which the other characters can’t really deny. Kolchak pulls out every trick in the book in order to get the answers.

So the film is at its best when it’s focused on the detective angle. I like the mystery angle and the process of finding out the clues. The old school detective work just really works out well so I could see this series having a lot of potential if they can just stick away from the supernatural angle. Even with a vampire it could have helped if the characters caught the vampire a little sooner but you feel bad for the victims who don’t really have a chance here. Then throw in all the scenes of the heroes doing their best not to help and it means you can never really be having a great time here. The film has some light banter but there’s always a dead body at the end of each conversation.

Overall, The Night Stalker is a pretty interesting film in a lot of ways. Honestly it would be more interesting if the villain was not supernatural but I do get the appeal. It’s essentially a look at how the world might react to a vampire in a super realistic setting like this. The problem mainly is it falls into the usual vampire issues and of course the film had to squeeze in some animal violence. Not a great look and you just wish the heroes could have done more to stop this guy a little sooner. The body count was really quite high by the end. You can do better for a mystery title.

Overall 3/10

The Unholy Review

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It’s time for a movie where the heroes have to deal with demonic forces. It’s tough enough dealing with immortal grudges and indestructible rings but what to you do when your opponent is powered by intangible prayers? This time the world’s only chances lie in the hands of a lying reporter which is not the best spot to be in. Things are about to get tricky.

The movie starts with a witch getting burned alive in brutal fashion and then we jump to the present. Gerry is a disgraced reporter as he was caught fabricating photos and making up lies to get ahead in life. It was definitely not a smart move on his part and he continues to lie to this day. One day he finds a doll and smashes it. Later on he nearly crashes his car when he passes by a girl who’s in a trance. She is deaf and mute but after he drives her home, this girl named Alice makes a full recovery. She is apparently being blessed by the virgin Mary and will start performing miracles for everyone. This is Gerry’s chance to get rich and he doesn’t want to lose it! Is there a downside to healing everyone though?

Being able to heal others would definitely be an amazing thing and so it’s clear why this is a huge deal. It’s just something that doesn’t really happen nowadays and Alice is healing people who have been sick their entire lives. She quickly starts to become a celebrity and while she remains rather quiet and does her own thing, she isn’t obviously sinister. The film has some restraint here so you can see why many would take this whole thing at face value. She doesn’t have an evil laugh, isn’t cackling at night, etc. At face value it all does seem rather nice.

It’s why the climax may be a bit hard to believe. Picture this, you’ve been missing an arm your whole life and a girl shows up, grabs your chest and suddenly your arm grows out. 2 weeks later you’re sitting at the park when she shows up and explains that it was all a prank. Would you believe her or would you look at your arm, give it a little flex and just assume someone is threatening her? I’d assume everyone would believe the latter. Yes the effects of the cure go away after there is enough doubt and all of the belief goes away but I find it very hard to believe that this would happen considering just how many miracles were performed and in such a small community.

The idea of the climax and trying to spread doubt is pretty interesting and in most situations would be very easy. It’s why they say it takes years to build trust but seconds to lose it. This is just a very unique scenario so I had my share of reservations on it. Still, the film will keep you guessing on what the heroes should do the whole time. You’ve got a good amount of conspiracy going and so there is a lot of plot here even outside of all the jump scares.

As a villain the evil Mary is relatively solid. At times she maybe takes a little too long to act so we can assume she underestimates the humans a great deal. Most of these demonic/cosmic villains tend to do that in these movies. One missed opportunity for the film is that Mary doesn’t have much of a physical form until the final minutes. For the most part she’s an intangible spirit that makes statues cry blood but doesn’t do much else. So it doesn’t make her the most imposing villain out there.

Meanwhile as the main heroine I can’t say that Alice was all that good as she lets Mary call the shots right from the jump. Yeah it’s pretty tough to have a voice in your head constantly talking to you but you have to recognize the signs of the voice being suspicious with all of its secrets and such. Alice ultimately makes the right calls even if it takes a while but it would have been nice if she could have kept her kind personality all the way through rather than getting meaner as the film went on. I think it would have been a better dynamic.

Meanwhile Delgarde actually looks fairly decent as a member of the church sent to see if the miracles were legit. I was expecting him to get defeated immediately when he appeared but he actually fights well at first and does some damage. Ultimately he is only able to delay the inevitable but hey we’ll take it. He has a more impressive showing than just about anyone else in the film because he actually has the means to fight instead of just getting trampled.

Gerry is an okay main character but the fact that he’s someone who will take any shortcut to success and hadn’t learned his lesson by the time the film starts is not a good look for him. Yes it’s part of his character arc by the end but I just never liked the guy. I don’t blame everyone for being upset with him all the time. Put it this way, he’s the kind of character who is entertaining to watch on screen but you’d never be able to get along with him in real life. You wouldn’t be able to trust him at all either which is a huge blow to his character.

The movie isn’t too violent for the most part. The intro scene of the mask being nailed on is probably the most intense although we have a few big deaths during the film. It’s enough to be mentioned but isn’t like Halloween or something like that. The film maintains a fairly grim tone throughout the movie but without the classic levels of suspense. The movie doesn’t really grab your attention. I would never call it outright boring but it’s a slow burn and without great characters to sustain it, that huts the film a lot by the end.

Overall, The Unholy is not one of the better supernatural titles. Its main issue is really that Mary doesn’t get to have much of an intimidating design and the character cast is very weak. While the movie has some really good visuals, they aren’t enough to carry the story. While I liked the conspiracy angle involving the Church, it does make them look really bad even outside of the corruption because they had no plan for what was going to happen. It’s like preparing for a giant fire to occur and know that it’s going to happen but still not bringing a bucket of water to help you out. You’re setting yourself up for failure. I’d say to skip this one, it’s far from being one of the lower horror titles that I’ve seen but there isn’t really a lot of appeal here.

Overall 3/10

Homicidal Review

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It’s time for a film with a very intense title. I mean just seeing a film that is called Homicidal you are expecting something real intense right? Well the film definitely delivers on the intensity in terms of a crazy twist but is surprisingly not nearly as violent as I expected. That’s a very good thing of course but the film still has its own share of issues and I wouldn’t call it one of the top contenders.

The movie starts with Emily showing up to a rich hotel and asking the bellhop to come to her room. He does and she says she will pay him a ton of money to marry her for a few minutes. He agrees and drives with her to a late marriage shop but suddenly she whips out the knife and no diffs the marriage ceremony leader. She then escapes into the night and heads home where she takes care of an old lady who can unfortunately no longer walk or talk. So Emily basically just gloats and subtlety threatens her the whole time.

This sets the tone for what kind of character Emily is and then we’re introduced to the rest of the cast. First up is Miriam who is looking forward to her future as she has a boyfriend now and her flowers are doing well. She finds Miriam to be a bit standoffish but that’s fine. Miriam does get annoyed when Emily just randomly leaves the house for a day so Miriam has to watch over the old lady and then Emily even threatens to murder Miriam. So Miriam tells her guy and they confront Emily’s brother Warren who seems like he couldn’t care less. With diplomatic options not doing much good, what can the main characters do about this?

The problem in a sense is that the heroes can’t just leave so easily. For starters there is the old lady to consider and even if Emily is evil, Warren may just be getting suckered as the brother. So they need to try and convince him before it is too late but the longer this goes on, the more likely it is that somebody will end up dying. So is it time to call the police or something? Well that would be the smart thing to do…but the film has a really bad reason for why they don’t.

One guy runs for the phone but Miriam stops him and explains that Emily said she is married to Warren. The guy basically goes “Shoot, guess we can’t call the cops” and they completely change gears. The obvious question is…why? That shouldn’t matter at all. If they want to spare Warren’s feelings then I’m afraid their priorities are all out of whack. If Emily is someone who is dangerous and insane enough to threaten someone’s life then you need to get rid of her as soon as possible. Half measures and dancing around the issue won’t help at all. Miriam definitely fumbled the ball here.

If anything she looks pretty bad throughout and the ending doesn’t help her much either. Of course all of this is easier from the viewer’s chair where you see everything and understand the stakes but it felt like she never properly registered how crazy Emily was. At least by the time she threw out the threat you gotta leave town or arm yourself properly. It’s just a shame that nobody in the town could see how deranged she was considering just how she was barely even trying to hide it. She just kept on acting crazy.

Where the film goes a bit far is with including the old lady. I think this was really unnecessary as the whole thing is overly tragic. She literally can’t talk or yell out for help and is trapped with Emily for basically the whole film? It’s a little too edgy and is the only place where the film didn’t restrain itself enough. Cutting her out of the movie entirely would have been a lot better and you can easily write around that. Then you have the fact that the old lady tries to signal to the others and do other things to call out for help and none of it works.

Nahhh that’s just tragic. Ultimately the film may not be as disturbing and intense as it was trying to be but that was definitely something that was real intense just not in the best way. There are some scenes that I thought were a bit surreal/didn’t make a lot of sense but the final twist did address those. Nothing could address the moment about not calling the cops though, that’s just something you have to do.

Also with the opening scene it was weird how nobody tried to help the guy getting stabbed. Surely the bellhop could have grabbed the knife and restrained Emily after the first hit or two right? They just stood around while she kept on stabbing over and over again. That was way too much to be frozen with fear like that. He’s real lucky that she didn’t finish him off. I was completely expecting that but somehow he actually survived along with all of the money but definitely some degree of trauma. So he’s not 100% but that’s still way better than most of the characters’ fates here.

Overall, While I applaud the film in having some good restraint, it’s still not a particularly pleasant film. Any scene with the old lady is just not fun to watch. The characters make a lot of very illogical decisions and the whole thing should not have played out the way that it did. You could easily improve the quality with just a few changes but this is how it had to be. Hey, it does completely destroy Psycho though so I will give the film that. It actually beats the original film that this one was supposed to top. The twist is also really good. It’s a twist that makes a lot of sense in hindsight but doesn’t really occur to you as you’re watching. That’s the best kind of twist since it should absolutely make sense afterwards and the fact that you get to see in real time how most of the visual parts of the twist work is impressive.

Overall 3/10

Human Voice Review

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This is definitely a really short film so there’s not much time for a full plot. It’s more about having a scenario and then the special takes it to a conclusion. The main problem is as a result we do not care at all about any of the characters here. Seriously the main character isn’t even likable based on the brief context we have here and the only one who seems decent would be the maid who is just trying her best.

The story here is that there’s an older lady who looks forward to talking to a young man that she is seeing. This relationship doesn’t appear as if it will ultimately go anywhere but she needed a rebound after her husband passed away a long time ago. This guy was cool with it and so they meet up a lot. On this day though, he calls and explains that it’s all over. They will not be seeing each other anymore and in fact he’s hanging out with a younger woman now. Uh ohhhhhhh.

You guys probably already know how I feel about age gap romances from other titles and basically I think they almost never work. There are no “Never” or “Always” conditions in a romance but I would say it rarely ever works out because the two people will just be too different. In general I say 10 years is around the cutoff so someone who’s 38 and someone who’s 31 can probably work things out even if it’s a little tricky but if we’re talking 41 and 29 then you’re not likely to have a great time. This movie seems to really be a straight depiction of this because the younger guy inevitably went for a younger woman.

The way he broke the news to her was pretty bad. I mean he just waited to call later in the day? Of course she already knew about the younger lady as we find out later and was just trying to block that from her mind. These characters are being delusional and so the conversation isn’t very interesting at all. In fact it’s really just the heroine talking the whole time as she thinks about the past and feels lonely about her future prospects.

In general I’m not big on rebounds either so the way I see it, her husband died but they had a good time for a while and now that’s really it. There’s no picking a next guy, you just have to live the rest of the life on solo player mode. To each their own of course but she should have reasonably expected this to happen at some point and start looking at her options. Picking the younger guy was probably the downfall here because it meant that she could not try to find someone around her age in the meantime.

The party line phones were nostalgic though. I remember when the lines were set up in a way where it was all connected so if you picked up the phone then someone else could be listening on the other end. That must have been a nightmare, I don’t know how people could have really used their phones much. I suppose some might not mind others eavesdropping and it can be nice for parties but I think in most cases it would just end up not being worth it.

You only feel bad for the maid here who is trying to avoid all of the drama but it seems like this kind of thing happens a lot. She very smoothly prepares the dinner and then gets out of there before any big blow up Absolutely a good move and she’s very quick on her feet. She also tried warning the main heroine in a way by how she kept asking if the guy was really coming. Nobody wants to waste food right?

It was also cool to see that it was an Eggplant Parmesan here since I go tot make that recently. Eggplant isn’t my favorite to say the least but when you throw enough sauce and cheese at the problem then you’re good. There are few things that these two elements cannot cure in a food dish. I did find out recently that pineapple pizza is one of those exceptions. The food looked really presentable here though and that’s a silver lining for the short.

This isn’t an awful short or anything but it is pretty bad because it’s hard to find any real positives here. Sure, I have small praises like the food but that doesn’t count for a whole lot. There’s not enough terrible content for me to push it lower but I just don’t see why you would make a short with such a flimsy plot. It’s just a little too light with not enough story or characters. As a result it just comes across as trying way too hard the whole time. Like it’s searching for some kind of award to pat it on the back about how the film managed a whole story with only a few characters appearing and this was at the extent of a real story.

Overall, Yeah this wasn’t very good. The short gives you no reason to identify with the characters and is trying so hard to be emotional that it doesn’t work. If you want to watch a really emotional moment then check out the Arlong climax in One Piece or any episode of RWBY volume 3. This one…..nahhhhhh. It needed more characters, a deeper plot, or some kind of plot twist. For example a massive twist at the end would at least have kept you guessing and honestly I would have been on board with that. I did not expect a twist at any point in the story so that’s what really could have thrown me for a massive loop. Cmon guys lets make it happen next time! In the meantime you should skip this one.

Overall 3/10

Son of Lassie Review

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It’s no surprise that I didn’t really like the first Lassie movie. In fact it was pretty awful now that I think about it. It’s just not really my kind of film and the sequel is better but still pretty bad. You have the dog still getting shot and some general animal violence. It isn’t in the same level as the first film of course but why can’t we just have a happy dog film instead? That’s what the people want and most importantly, it’s what I want! Seriously just think about it, this has potential to be as big as Air Bud but instead the film ends up being more of a miss. Also more than the first film it just feels a bit aimless at times.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Laddie, the son of Lassie. This guy is really aggressive and doesn’t play by the rules. This often frustrates the Duke because Laddie messes up the flowers. Laddie’s owner Joe doesn’t really care all that much though because he correctly realizes that Laddie is just having a lot of fun. Well Joe gets drafted into war so he heads out while Laddie is to finally be trained professionally. The owners underestimate him though and Laddie travels across the country to find Joe. Looks like Laddie will be having a spot in this war after all but is it really safe for him?

I wouldn’t say the film has a huge plot beyond that though. A good chunk of the adventure is Laddie running after Joe, being taken back home, then finding him again, etc. It’s really a cycle that just keeps on going over and over again. Sure by the end we actually get to meet the enemies and Laddie gets to prove his stuff but that’s the very end of the film. For the most part it was relatively aimless until then.

Also Joe doesn’t make for a very compelling main character. Everyone’s always insulting him all the time and he typically doesn’t really notice or react. Intentionally not reacting to a diss is absolutely a good skill but the problem is that I’m not sure if he even notices so that’s not a good look there. You really need to be ready for action at all times and the digs aren’t exactly subtle either. So if you don’t recognize that then we have some problems. His lack of confidence is also huge.

He likes this one girl and she basically tells him to confess several times and it takes a lot to force it out of him. The guy’s just way too nervous and always running off. Some guys can be shy sure, but this was a bit much. You’re just cringing the whole time. The whole romance isn’t particularly good but it’s not a big part of the film anyway so I suppose it doesn’t have a huge impact. It’s just part of a bigger problem which is that any scene with Joe is brutal. The guy also had no plan when he was taken at gunpoint in the climax and Laddie had to do all the work.

I always say if it’s life or death what do you have to lose? In this case the villain is walking Joe up a cliff so that he can be shot and fall into the abyss. Joe knows that, the villain knows that, and I know that. So why would you possibly just keep walking up and wait to get shot? Lunge at the guy, go for the gun etc. What’s he gonna do…shoot you? Well that’s going to happen anyway so you might as well take a chance. It’s not like this is a scenario where you only might get shot. The guy made is clear that Joe has to be exterminated so that’s really it. You have to try and fight back while you still can. Definitely a pretty brutal moment for good ole Joe.

Still, like I said the main problem here is that the film can just be rather boring. The story can barely last 40 minutes, let alone the full length of the title. We probably should have focused more on training scenes or maybe even some military battles. You needed more plots or some kind of hook to pull this off. That being said, I was glad that Joe didn’t go with the other guy’s plan to hit Laddie. That would have been absolutely awful so in all of my bashing of the guy, he got that part right.

There’s really not a whole lot to even talk abut with this film in the end. I guess we can say there was a lot of plot armor in nobody being able to stop Laddie from travelling cross country each time. You’d think the characters would learn and keep the leash on each time but Laddie was always a few steps ahead of them. I would have liked the Duke to have appeared more since he’s always the most enjoyable character but he doesn’t do a whole lot here after the intro scenes. Lassie herself also doesn’t have a big role.

Having her step in to save the day would have been a clever way to get some excitement in here. Actually it’ such a great idea that I’m surprised they didn’t do it. Lassie doesn’t have any of the huge pivotal roles you would expect from the old main character appearing in the sequel. It’d be like if Naruto didn’t do much in Boruto or if Goku was slacking off in Super. Lassie should still be the one making a big play now and then even if Laddie is the one with the final moment.

Overall, Son of Lassie is just not a very interesting film. Mix in the animal violence and it was really out of its depth. I think there is probably a great film mixed in there somewhere…but it’s very deep in there so that’s not going to be all that helpful tbh. In the end a dog film should be a fairly upbeat one where the dog isn’t in any danger. Sure that can be boring if handled wrong but it’s all up to the writers. Surely you should be able to make a film that is still really interesting even without that right? If you can’t…well I guess now we’ve got a real problem now don’t we?

Overall 3/10