Category Archives: 5 Star Movies

Gattaca Review

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It’s time for a sci-fi film that really uses the high tech developments to show how it would be difficult to impersonate somebody. The movie has a good premise but the main character takes quite a number of unreasonable risks that makes things a lot closer than it should have been. It’s an interesting movie but one that is really lacking in good characters.

The movie starts with showing how eugenics has become a big thing through dna technology. You can use science to make sure your kid is born perfectly and you can even customize the dna for the traits that you want. If you pay a lot of money you can basically be guaranteed with a perfect kid. Vincent’s parents want to go with a natural birth but when Vincent comes out with a weak body, they decide to do the dna perfection with his younger brother Anton. They are rivals but Vincent finally beats him in a swimming race one day and then heads off to start a life of his own.

The difficult thing is that this dna purity has created a new kind of discrimination. Most jobs will only hire you if your stats are good enough and as a natural birth with a weak heart, Vincent is ineligible for almost all jobs. One day he comes into a rare opportunity when a famous swimmer named Jerome shows up and explains that he needs Vincent to be his double. Jerome was in a terrible accident and can no longer walk. Vincent is unsure at first, but then decides to go along with it to also prove that he can handle the job. Can he stay undetected?

The film goes to great lengths to show how hard it is to be undetected in this world. Vincent needs to constantly carry a lot of Jerome’s dna with him for spontaneous drug checks, blood shots, eye scans, etc. It’s all an incredible amount of defenses that the company has at the ready and yet with perfect timing Vincent is able to handle them all. His one weakness is that he begins to like a girl named Irene but getting into a relationship now is a terrible idea with how dna spreads.

A huge focus of the film is that dna can be obtained from the smallest thing. Vincent has to scrub his fingernails every morning and use a vacuum on is desk just to make sure there are no particles. So rolling around with a girl is naturally not a good part of the plan and it’s Vincent’s biggest problem here. He absolutely has to know better. For the most part he is very careful and doesn’t make big mistakes but this was a huge one.

He also tends to get emotional like when he wants to quit the program at the last second. When you have a mission like this then you gotta see it through. So I didn’t end up becoming the biggest fan of Vincent. He needed to keep his eye more on the mission at all times instead of wavering and not being ready when the task was at hand. It’s really only thanks to plot armor that he gets as far as he does.

Then you have Jerome who also tends to be really annoying. This guy likes to get drunk which is of course a huge liability since it messes with the samples and also means he might say something that will spill the beans. At one point he decides to go catch a show outside and starts yelling at one of the guards. He draws a whole lot of attention to himself considering that a single slip up would mean the end of him. Ultimately the way he goes out is also pretty rough.

He needed a better end goal instead of just trying to fool Vincent into thinking that he had one. He also took advantage of a moment with Irene in order to fool the detectives which was a terrible look since he definitely did not need to go that far. The film does introduce him as a jerk so it’s not like that’s surprising but still disappointing to see.

As the main heroine, Irene isn’t bad. To her this is a normal romance and I would say she handles herself decently during it. She always stays very professional. Now the romance could have stood to have been more of a slowburn but otherwise I didn’t really have any problems with her character. She even gets some character development by the end where she cares less about the dna side of things.

Finally we have Anton and it was fun to get the big confrontation at the end of the film. A true rematch and the guy still has a solid ego. When he’s not around Vincent, I have no doubt that Anton is really good at his job and handles things well. He just loses perspective when things get personal but still made for a good rival. That helped as a final big action scene.

In the end the film’s sci-fi setting was pretty interesting and it was definitely more fleshed out than most. That being said, I would have liked to have focused more on that than the romance drama or even the drama with Jerome constantly making the wrong decisions. Give me more focus on the space mission itself which was really interesting. There was a whole lot you could do with the chief executive there who was consumed with making sure that the mission would work.

Overall, The biggest boost to this film would have been if the main characters were more likable. In a general sense I suppose you’re rooting for Vincent to expose the system and succeed but he doesn’t really seem like the kind of guy you’d be friends with. The same is true twofold for Jerome. You’re basically starting to root for the investigators early on because they have way more charisma. These guys are slowly piecing together the puzzle and the mystery aspect there is fun. I also think the ending could have been a whole lot better. So long story short, we’ve got a really interesting premise here but I didn’t think the execution was nearly as good as it could have been.

Overall 5/10

A Very Brady Christmas Review

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It’s time for the return of the Brady Bunch. I saw the show a lot when I was growing up and it was pretty fun. I wouldn’t say it could compete with the older old time shows like Twilight Zone or the Odd Couple but it was good wholesome fun. The film brings them all back to give you more of the same but I have to say that a lot of the characters really don’t look good. As a result you will have a hard time rooting for some of them in their sub plots.

The film starts with Mr and Mrs Brady enjoying their retired life. At this point the house belongs to just the two of them as their families have fully grown up. It’s peaceful this way and they each plan a big Christmas trip but ultimately decide to invite all the kids over for one last adventure. The kids get ready to arrive but what the parents don’t know is that they are all dealing with some issues. Looks like the parents are going to have to play the role of the guardian one last time here.

Like I said, the problem here is that a lot of the kids don’t look particularly good. Lets look through their problems for a minute here. The first guy is feeling embarrassed because his girlfriend makes more money than him and is actually his boss at the job. This is one of those issues that I will never be able to sympathize with. If your girlfriend makes more money than you, that’s great. You two can put that in a nice 401K and in the meantime can live a much more luxurious life than before. It takes a real sensitive ego to be upset about that. So as a result he decided not to propose to er for a very long time until she was finally forced to consider doing it herself. Definitely the most petty out of all the issues.

The next kid’s problem is that her husband got fired right before the holidays. So he’s still feeling rather sore about that and has a hard time containing this. He grumbles about the situation rather loudly even when he’s already at the Christmas party with his wife and daughter. It’s the most serious problem since losing your job is a big deal but I just wish he would have taken it a little better. Maybe not make such a big scene and all that. Ultimately his ego is a problem like the first kid’s and so Mr. Brady has to effectively trick him into getting a new job. She probably could have chosen a guy with a little more courage.

I’ll say now that Mr and Mrs. Brady were definitely the standout characters here since they were having to clean up all these messes while still having a fun party. It may make them reconsider doing this next year though. Their housekeeper also had some drama of her own as her boyfriend left her for a younger woman. This subplot was handled rather poorly as she quickly accepts him upon his return. He likely got dumped by the younger girl he was after, why would you just let him return so easily? Definitely a bad look.

Back to the kids, the one’s problem was that he dropped out of school a while back to become a race car driver. This was a super reckless move and so he doesn’t want to tell his parents until he is already winning races. Well, I think it’s a bad decision but it’s his life and he’s not grumbling about it so I much preferred him to the other two. This guy understood the consequences of his actions.

The next kid’s problem is that she was in the middle of a failing marriage. They are quickly falling apart because she feels like she does a lot of things without any appreciation and he is rather oblivious. The fact that it got this far was pretty rough. Yes, the party has them squash their differences but I don’t think it can ever be the same after their relationship was strained that hard. The husband in particular looked bad here since he left things get to this point and somehow didn’t notice all the extra work he was causing her. That’s a bit baffling.

Then we have one kid where his wife chose to visit her family instead of his for Christmas so that takes some of the fun out of it. What fun can you really have at a party without your wife? Technically it might be the smallest problem after all but you can still feel a little bad for him. In a way at least they had the healthiest dynamic here which is nice to see.

The final kid’s problem is more that she is still treated as the youngest. She is seated with the kids at the party instead of the grownups and doesn’t know how to say no. She shows up at the party when she already had plans with the other teens at the dorm. Meeting with your family is probably a better idea anyway but it would be nice to have presented this as her actively making a decision as opposed to just not knowing what to do.

You can see the problem here which is that there are so many problems that a lot of the kids just don’t look good by the end of this. There’s quite a lot of drama and not enough laughs to really take it over the edge. It’s a decent gathering and the build up to the reunion is fun but I do think it could have been more explosive. It’s still a good film but one without much replay value. I actually think it might have been better without all the kids. Make it just about Mr. and Mrs. Brady as they prepare their Christmas gifts and crazy shenanigans ensue. That is a winning formula.

Overall, A Very Brady Christmas will deliver an extra punch for folks who grew up watching the original show. It’ll definitely end up being nostalgic but that’s mostly what the film has going for it. Remove the Brady names and it’s a film about a lot of problem solving that doesn’t get quite as emotional as it could have been. I will say that the climax at least did its best to increase the stakes right at the end. We got to see a true hero in action and that is the kind of explosive plot that I’m talking about. If we got that for more of the movie then this would be an even higher one. Still, I would recommend it to anyone looking for a Christmas title to set up the season.

Overall 6/10

Brain Dead Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Okay this is a weird film right off the bat. There are lot of dream sequences here and the whole time you have to wonder what is real and what isn’t. I definitely haven’t seen many films like this so it will forever be a memorable experience. Of course that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’ll be a good one. Some of the dreams lean a little too hard into the lead’s worries about what his wife is doing when he’s not around and I wanted to see more of him really going crazy. It’s worth the watch as you try to figure out what is going on but I dare say there isn’t a ton of replay value here.

The movie begins with introducing us to Rex who is a top neurosurgeon. He’s one of the best in the business but unfortunately it isn’t a very profitable one and money has been tight. It’s at this point that he is approached by Jim, an old “pal” of sorts. This guy has been doing really well for himself and he has an offer. See, there’s this guy named John who came up with something absolutely brilliant but then went crazy and ran off. They found him but John has total amnesia of what he even invented. So the company wants Rex to go into his mind and fix it. The operation has a large chance of just leaving John braindead though which Rex feel is completely unethical.

Of course, money does talk though and so Rex decides to go through with this after facing more pressure and a homeless guy showing up to wreck one of the last available brains. The operation seems to work…except now Rex’s life is being turned upside down. One day he wakes up as John, the next scene he’s in a plane that is about to crash, etc. It’s like Rex is trapped in a series of unending nightmares with absolutely no way to escape. He needs to find some way to grab onto reality….but can he do it?

How much you enjoy the film will really come down to how much you enjoy the dreams. After a point it becomes clear that most of this isn’t actually happening and so I could picture some people totally checking out. That’s definitely valid, although for me I kind of enjoyed it because I just liked how crazy it got. The situations would be absolutely wild and I also was glad that Rex didn’t let them get to him for quite a while.

He kept on insisting that he was Rex no matter what anyone else was saying. Even with the evidence against him, he wasn’t going to declare defeat. That is the right way to handle such a crazy circumstance. You have to fight for yourself even when nobody else will. No matter how many times the doctor kept trying to say that Rex was just a patient, Rex wouldn’t buy it. I thought that was pretty commendable.

Of course like I said in the intro, he does let himself get a bit too worried about Jim the whole time. Now, sine he is trapped in these dreams I guess to a certain extent he has it extra tough since he doesn’t really know what is real and what is fake but it keeps turning out that his wife is going with Jim or just being super oblivious and not realizing that he is pulling the moves on her. In either case, Rex needed to handle things better instead of getting super drunk and ruining the meeting with a big investor. Those were times when Rex didn’t do so good.

Othe times he tends to be very proactive like when he was in the ocean and had to swim fast or when the crazy guy hid in his closet and Rex had to act normal for the nurse. I should mention that while the film isn’t overly violent, there are a few jump scares/shock value moments. You will see the brain for example and some people have pretty serious injuries. So definitely keep that in mind, this film is certainly not holding back in that respect.

Corporate worked well as the big villains here. I liked how they were in total control the whole time and were constantly waiting for Rex to make a mistake. They can’t lose either way. Either John goes braindead in which case the secret is taken to the grave, or they get his memory back and coerce it out of him. Corporate is always looking at the big picture here and they are certainly ruthless. In the dreamworld it even seems like they might disappear Jim if he fails them. So yeah the stakes are definitely high there. The film also established pretty well that this is a dangerous area too like with the random homeless guy and speeding cars everywhere. Adds a bit to the chaos and that’s when the film is at its best. Just hitting you with endless chaotic moments with no time to breath. The film should really never slow down to try and talk to you, just keep going full speed ahead.

I would have liked the wife to have had more of a role there. Have her poking around and finding clues about what corporate is doing or something like that. with how the film is set up that may have been a little difficult though. Maybe she could be in the dreams aside from the illusion version of her? Would have been a nice way to have given Rex a bit more of a fighting chance at least although he would be in for a tough time either way.

Overall, Brain Dead is a very interesting film. I give it kudos for the unique approach and it is the kind of film that will keep you guessing. At the same time, I do think they really could have done a bit more with it. Either double down on the dreams and make them even more chaotic without a definitive ending to tell you what actually happened or maybe throw in an objective. Like having Rex find out that he has to survive for 3 hours in the dream to return or something. It would essentially be a different movie though. The ending isn’t the most satisfying so that could have made a difference but if you’re looking for a really weird film to check out, this is definitely right up your alley.

Overall 5/10

Satellite in the Sky Review

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It’s time for a sci-fi film that is a whole lot more low key than you may have suspected. As a result it can struggle to hold your attention at times even though it is fairly well written. The characters aren’t bad or anything but at the same time you do feel like some of the turnarounds are a bit too quick. Mainly the dynamic with the main heroine and the main character but I’ll get into that in a minute. So if you’re up for a low key film about space, then this could be the one for you.

The film starts off with Britain announcing their great Stardust spaceship. It is such a modern design that it will be able to travel in space indefinitely. Captain Michael and his crew are ready but Kim the reporter has a lot of choice words about this. She thinks exploring space is an absolute waste and keeps talking about how the rockets and science are too dangerous. It’s a fool’s game and all that. Now she’s welcome to her opinion but it goes a bit far when she sneaks aboard as a stowaway. That could have thrown everything off with weight limits and all.

Additionally, she is still quick to be flirting with Michael and the two of them hit it off. The tough talk feels like a weak front and the banter while fun, also feels fake. How would this be working out when Kim is insulting everything Michael stands for? They fight a whole lot but I guess all the insults just bounce off. The romance doesn’t make any sense and I don’t know why we needed it when there are two other romance plots going on here with the other passengers on the plane. The film certainly was not lacking in drama.

The biggest drama here is actually that the U.S. steps in to announce that they’ve covertly hijacked the mission to test a bomb. It was a quiet takeover since the U.S. funded the research and it was definitely a good power move. The main characters didn’t like it but ultimately fell into line rather quickly. They knew that otherwise there would be no space trip and they had been prepping for a long time for this mission.

Likewise, as the audience we were waiting a long time for this because it’s not until about halfway through the film that the characters even leave the Earth. I like a good setup as much as the next guy but I was expecting quicker pacing than that. The film is taking itself extremely seriously and I dare say that was a mistake. It might sound counterintuitive, but for a sci-fi film I’m going to be most interested in any issues that occur in outer space.

I think you could have cut some of the general scenes on Earth like one guy fighting with his girlfriend because she had to go to work and couldn’t make their date. He completely overreacted there by the way since he essentially admitted he would have done the same thing if his job suddenly called him in. So why should he be so upset at her for that? He barely even apologies a instead he calls her about a ring and that’s their big reconciliation scene but he needed to be more upfront on owning up to the fact that he made a mistake.

What probably makes the film feel a bit off is how there is no real antagonist here. Yeah you could say the government as a whole would fit that bill but it’s not really played out that way. Yeah the scientists are annoyed about having to work on a bomb but it’s not as if they think the government is suddenly evil. You don’t have the classic saboteur with a gun or anything like that. So the main conflict is when the characters have to find a way to safely jettison the bomb without everyone blowing up. Ultimately it is the power of science that is able to solve this issue. It’s fitting enough but not super exciting.

The film just abruptly ends when they solve the issue. I’m always up for a quick finisher but it does underscore that the characters weren’t really interesting enough to see how their stories ended. I would have liked to see if there was any blowback to the USA doing secret stuff in Britain’s experiment or if that would have just continued to be expertly covered up.

So this film will have its main appeal if you go into it expecting a slice of life. Travelling into space may not exactly be routine but it’s sort of treated that way. Everyone involved in the voyage is a professional aside from the reporter and so they’re rather relaxed about the whole journey. Kim makes sure to try and stress them out but rarely ends up succeeding. I can’t emphasize enough that if you’re looking for an exciting film you will need to look elsewhere. However, if you are looking for a calm experience then this will be up your alley.

Overall, This film ends up falling right in the middle for me. It’s not funny or thrilling enough for it to have any replay value and so I wouldn’t really be recommending it to anyone. On the other hand it doesn’t really make any mistakes and the writing is good on its own. So that’s why it ends up just being one of those films that will be forgotten in short order. Not making any mistakes is a solid start but you also have to have some individual strengths as a film to really make people want to watch it. If you’re going to do a very serious film about what it’s like to travel in space, then you have to punch up the writing a bit with extremely likable characters. Kim actually could have been that character if you just shredded the romance subplot. Have her try to sabotage the mission or just constantly making fun of everyone and then you have a solid antagonist right there.

Overall 5/10

Like Father Like Son Review

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It’s time for a classic body swap comedy. There aren’t a ton of films with this kind of premise but they usually turn out to be pretty fun. Who hasn’t thought about stepping into someone else’s shoes for a few minutes right? I don’t think the film ends up being quite as good as it could have been though and could have used more likable characters. As always the kid can definitely be annoying but the father can also be a little slow on the uptake at times.

The movie starts with some intense music as a guy runs through the dessert and is badly injured. He is treated by a nearby tribe and temporarily switches bodies with someone before going to normal. Pretty interesting “science” they got over there. We then cut to the actual main characters Chris and his father Jack. Jack is a very serious guy who works hard and is nearing a big promotion. He wishes his son could take things a little more seriously. Chris is still going through his teenager journey of crushing hard on a girl and flunking on his classes. Well, that’s when his friend Trigger’s uncle shows up with the body swap serum. Trigger messes around and through a series of comedic shenanigans, ends up switching Chris and Jack. Can the two characters get through a full day or two without completely wrecking each other’s lives?

You’re mainly going to be feeling bad for Jack here because he was actually doing well with his life. He was nearing that promotion and skillfully swerving the advances being made to him by the wife of his boss. Jack is not planning on messing around and he is well respected within the industry. His main flaw is presented by the fact that he follows the rules really closely so he doesn’t make exceptions when people don’t have money or insurance to pay for the treatment.

Perhaps he is a bit cold about all of this but at the same time, he is just following company policy. The other doctor brings this up a lot at the board meetings and keep shutting this down. So it’s not like it’s just Jack. Where Jack falters is in not closing out the deal on the big race. He really needed to stay focused and also should have been preparing a lot harder a few days in advance. No way that race should have even been getting close at the ending there. I know the guy is oblivious, but it’s also a bit much that he acts as if he’s never really been to school before. He rambles and acts like the teacher but I guess maybe he was just the class jerk back in the day.

As for Chris, well he acts a lot like the immature stereotype of every teen. He’s completely girl crazy and the first thing he thinks to do when becoming an adult is to go flirt and drink as much as possible. The amount of damage he’s done to his father’s reputation is crazy and so it’s hard to sympathize with him at all. He just looks so immature the whole time and has never heard the phrase of great power comes with great responsibility.

I know it’s part of the point of his character arc but I’d argue he never really learns that much of a lesson. Now at least the movie is consistent with how immature he is since the guy can’t even manage to talk to a girl without making himself look like a fool but it all boils down to you wishing the whole film could have been about the father instead. Even when Jack would make a mistake, he consistently looked better than Chris.

His friend Trigger tends to be more entertaining. Now, technically he’s probably about as immature as Chris but maybe since he’s in the side character role it doesn’t hit as hard. He also has the toughest job of playing advisor to Jack when he’s at school and keeping both parties from making huge mistakes. So maybe in a way he’s at least smarter than Chris.

The heroine Lori doesn’t look that good as the whole thing with her is that she’s not a very serious person. Likewise the bully Rick is super determined to prove that he’s better than Chris when he should probably just be leaving Lori to find someone who wants to be with him. He absolutely crushed Chris in their fight though so he definitely takes his fighting skills seriously.

So while I have a lot of issues with the characters here, the film does have its share of funny gags. I did like the walk-throughs at the hospital. Both the one that was taken seriously and then the parody one after the body swap where Chris didn’t know what was going on. It worked as a solid contrast and of course it’s generally fun to see each character messing up each other’s lives. I dare say it would just be a bit funnier if it took itself more seriously.

That may sound paradoxical but think of it this way. If both characters were a little better at living each other’s lives, then the mistakes they make would be funnier. It would be more of a rare error in judgment as opposed to getting major things wrong. You could also see if there were any ways where they made each other’s lives better thanks to their different approaches. These films always have a lot of potential but this one mainly stuck to going for the obvious gags.

Overall, The film was fun enough but is definitely lacking in some replay value. It’s fairly short so at a little over 90 minutes it’ll go by quickly. The romance scenes for both characters tend to be the most cringe worthy moments although there is a lot of cringe to go around. If you like body swap films then you should check this one out but there’s a reason why it’s not super well known and you will definitely learn that the hard way before you’re done. A remake could really improve on this one.

Overall 5/10

Imaginary Crimes Review

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It’s time for a dramatic film that incorporates a lot of second hand cringing. You can really sympathize with the tough spots that the main heroine was put into here. It’s definitely a tough situation for the kids and a general reminder that it’s okay to have dreams but you have to be responsible about them. If not, then you are really just setting yourself up for defeat. It definitely will not end well and the longer you put off your reality check, the bigger the consequences will be.

The film starts off by introducing us to Ray who has had to raise his two daughters Sonya and Greta by himself after his wife passed. Ray has always been a bit of a dreamer. He doesn’t want to work a standard 9-5 job, he acts as if this is beneath him. No, he’s going to get super rich and is quick to mention this at all times. None of his plans have worked out yet but he knows that they will at some point. He’s been conning people for years and lies as he breathes. Now he has managed to get Sonya into school but the lies are starting to catch up to him. Is he about to ruin everything?

Right off the bat I can say that you don’t feel too much sympathy for Ray. It’s one thing to be ambitious and want to do things your own way but the instant you start becoming a chronic liar about it, then you are knowingly doing something bad. By around the halfway point you start to doubt that Ray is as insane as he appears and instead it really seems like he just enjoys spinning his stories. He had to know where it was going and yet he kept on doubling down over and over. If anything he is incredibly lucky that he didn’t try that in a worse neighborhood or he would have been thoroughly beaten up a long time ago. You just can’t get away with these kinds of actions for very long. He had plenty of outs and at the very least could have kept the situation from snowballing out of control. Unfortunately he did not make that choice.

Meanwhile for Sonya, this often meant that she had to take care of her little sister Greta which limited the amount of free time she had on her own. She wasn’t able to be a kid in the ways that she should have been allowed to. Then Sonya is also old enough to know that her father is lying about everything which is super awkward for her. It’s not like she can do much to stop him and in the meantime has to just keep her head low and try to make the best of the day. Even when she does her best to try and cut Ray off or prevent him from making the lie worse, he just ignores her.

She definitely has the wort situation out of the group by far as a result. Fortunately she does her best and I give her full credit for taking care of her sister since that wasn’t always easy here. In the end she also makes the right decision to look to her future instead of taking the easy way out and making for a new location with Ray. You have to face up to things eventually after all and the sooner she gets it over with the better. She also met a nice teacher at the school who really helped her out by polishing up her writing abilities and looking out for her. Even having just one ally helps out a lot and in general the town seemed like a very nice one. That’s why it was a real shame that Ray was cheating them out of money.

One last fault for Ray is that he also appears as a very unreasonable guy. We get a flashback where his wife won some nice plates from a local raffle and he immediately starts insulting them. He seemed to take it very personally that she got the plates from somewhere else instead of him being able to provide for her. It was just in such a childish way that it makes him look so petty. She had always been patient enough to put up with his endless boasts and promises that would never come to fruition. The least he could do is be happy for her when she finally won something.

Additionally, during the films we see Sonya’s stories that she would submit to the school which were loosely based on her life. They were intentionally exaggerated so you don’t know exactly how much was true or not but in those stories we see Ray quickly rebounding with other women and generally looking like a rather terrible guy. So even if only a little bit of that was true, it just makes him look even worse. The problems that he created were all of his undoing and that is why it’s hard to feel bad for him. I just felt bad for the kids who had to deal with the consequences of his actions.

Overall, Imaginary Crimes does a good job of getting across that feeling of how hopeless things can be when you’re a kid and you know that something is not right. The main problem is that no matter how much you know, there’s not much a kid can do. I can’t really say that they could have done anything differently here. That’s why it all comes down to the father’s failure here because he needed to provide for his family. That’s the top priority and it has to come before pride and his visions of striking it rich. By this point he had to know that wasn’t going to happen and to continue trying for it would just be plain irresponsible. It was not a good idea. I’m not a big fan of the film but it’s not a bad title either. If this sounds interesting then you should check it out.

Overall 5/10

Bang the Drum Slowly Review

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Usually you expect a Baseball film to be a rather happy one. Some kind of slice of life or really competitive sports title. Well, this one decides to switch things up a bit by being more of a dramatic, sad affair. The tone manages to still stay light for the most part but there is something looming over you the whole time. I would say how much you enjoy the film may come down to how sad you find it.

The movie starts with Bruce finding out some bad news, he is dying. He has a rare disease that is quite fatal and will begin to deteriorate his body over time. Only Bruce and his best friend Henry know about this and they decide not to tell anyone. Although naturally that begins to be a hard secret to keep for very long so eventually more and more people find out. How will Bruce handle his impending death?

Nobody knows the exact point of their death and that’s why it can always be an interesting topic. If you know that you will most likely die within the next year, how would that affect your life? I imagine for some people it would be a little liberating. For others it would be rather scary. It depends on what you believe happens after death. As a Christian I’d be rather excited since that means I’ve made it to the end of the road. Of course you’d rather not deal with the pain and all but there’s nothing scary about death. If anything it can be seen as something to look forward to, although of course you can’t rush it.

If you don’t have a solid future to look forward to, then of course it’s going to be sad and depressing. The film is definitely banking on this being a really sad affair and so that’s where I’d say it doesn’t land quite so effectively. It’s not a bad film by any means but I’d put it near the middle. It has some pretty funny scenes and I actually thought the humor was really on point when it would let the jokes fly. If anything this film would have been a really good comedy and they could have just had the doctor show up at the end and say it was a false positive. Of course it’s just not that kind of film but that would have been an interesting way to go about it.

Throughout the film, Henry shows himself to be a great friend. He helps Bruce out a lot with getting everything straightened out and also doesn’t let the guy get taken for a sucker by a lady with big ambitions. It would have been nice if he could have gotten Bruce to really understand what was happening a bit more but when love is involved that can get really tricky. In the worst case, you could blow up the friendship right when Bruce needs it most. So Henry made the tough call and things worked out well enough.

Even though Bruce was the one dying, Henry certainly had to endure a whole lot on his end as well. He even crashes out at one point which is fairly obligatory in films like this but still more on the annoying side. That was a whole lot of property damage after all. Meanwhile Bruce wasn’t the smartest guy around but he did his best to always be a nice guy. By the end he even started playing a little better and everyone started being nicer to him. So at least he got to end things off on a high note.

Meanwhile there is a subplot where the coach is trying to figure out what is going on and keeps on getting closer to the truth. I really liked how determined he was and no amount of lies could keep him away. It’s why he was a good coach, he knew his players inside and out. It can be tough to call out a lie but he never backed down. The scenes are also played up quite a bit with the humor and they end up being quite funny.

The writing is solid throughout and the pacing is pretty good as well. On a technical level I didn’t really have any problems with the film. It will just have a hard time keeping your attention the whole time because there just isn’t a whole lot to it. It feels like the film is missing something and it’s hard to say exactly what that would be. One possibility would be to have continued the film after Bruce’s death and now Henry has to fight that one lady in court. That could have been a pretty interesting climax even if it would be a bit far away from Baseball at that point. Alternately maybe more Baseball scenes? I’m not quite sure if that is what would really take things all the way through to the next level but just some things I’d throw out there as possibilities.

Alternately maybe a first act to see more of Bruce’s dynamic with the team before he actually gets really sick. That could work as well and really show us more of a contrast on how they all act after they find out that he is dying. We certainly have less screentime of the original dynamic compared to the new one. The team never really struck me as bad guys either. Yes there was quite a bit of ribbing but that seems normal for any kind of sports team. Maybe I’m just too used to it at this point but for example nothing in the film felt particularly malicious. They did their best to walk on eggshells later on and be extra nice but for some, they’d probably prefer to keep going with the banter and act normal.

Overall, Bang the Drum Slowly is a reasonable film. It doesn’t have a whole lot of replay value and could have probably either focused more on the humor or added another subplot to keep you engaged. That said, it’s a very unique kind of Baseball film so you could definitely check it out on that basis. It’s certainly not trying to be a clone of anything else or being generic in any sense. There is even a sad song that plays at one point during the film to try and drill the message home.

Overall 5/10

The Black Stallion Returns Review

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It’s time for the Black Stallion to return. I wasn’t a big fan of the first film and while this one is better I still wouldn’t say it’s great or anything like that. The biggest problem here is the boring second half which is interesting since it was the first half that was boring in the original film. Hey that’s how it goes sometimes but at least the film tries to fix the original error so I give it some props there.

The film starts with two different groups deciding to kidnap Alec’s horse. Alec and Black had been winning so many races and taking the world by storm that this allowed these groups to see what was going on. One of the groups wants to use Black to make loads of money while the other one wants to set him free back in his home country. Both groups believe their reason to be the right one and so Alec isn’t brought in to discuss this. Instead they break in and one group burns down the stables and kidnaps Black. Alec gives pursuit and tells his mom that he’ll be back someday after he saves the day. Can a kid really be okay all alone in the desert like this though?

First off, Alec took a terrific risk here in going all the way to the desert by himself. He’s still a kid here even if he’s older than he was in the first film. I give him some respect there but at the same time he probably could have told his mother where he was going or gotten some backup. Either option did run the risk of his being physically prevented from continuing though so I won’t blame him too hard there. The problem is that he is completely out of his depth and gets annoying on more than one occasion.

Alec would have died near the beginning if not for meeting up with a nice kid named Raj. Alec gets punked by some obviously shady figures and then he even has to try some really awful looking food. Alec never really thinks ahead and gets stopped on more than one occasion before he can get himself into even bigger trouble. Enthusiasm is good but ultimately it’s not like that is going to win you any awards and that’s what he learns the hard way. It definitely gets old.

Also the desert has nothing really going for it. The backgrounds are always going to be boring and plain without any really nice things to look at. The pacing of the movie also completely dies here as you never learn quite enough to really care about Raj’s plot. You just want to see Alec and Black get together which takes a really long time. We still get a race by the very end of the film but it sure took some doing to get there. I’m also not sure about the ending. On one hand it looks like it’ll be better for the horse which is definitely huge but on the other hand it is basically rewarding these groups for acting like vigilantes. Surely they could have tried to do this a little more diplomatically but they left no room for discussion right from the start. I’d say Alec should still be upset and his mother had to be worried to death the whole time.

It’s still hard to wrap my head around why you would make a sequel to the Black Stallion where the horse barely gets to appear. How does that make any kind of sense? To me that just seems crazy and I’m sure the viewers were shocked. Especially since the opening actually did have the horse showing up and we had a pretty intense beginning. The spy stuff was fun and there was a lot of tension as you waited to see if Alec would find out that there were people up to no good around his house. The film basically squandered all of that to give us a really long desert sequence and that is the exact moment where the film lost its steam.

I know in a film like this you have the kid be by himself to ramp up the feeling of danger but my hot take is that his Mom should have followed him. Having an adult there would give Alec a little legitimacy when talking to the various cutthroats around. Additionally, an adult would just be a whole lot more interesting. Lets face it, there’s just not much Alec can actually do on his own. He can’t fight, he’s not smart enough to be a spy, he has really no available options to him. At least his mom could theoretically fight or use a gun at least. Just anything to make the desert plot less boring.

Overall, The Black Stallion Returns is a decent film at best. The main problem I have with it is that it can be boring at times. It’s not the biggest issue a film can have but of course it is still powerful since you are watching a film to be entertained the whole time. Being bored for any period doesn’t really help. The film also mainly manages to dodge the animal violence but not totally as there is an incident with a camel and also the horses are treated a bit roughly the whole time. I never like watching horse races for that reason since I don’t think they’re very fun for the horse. If you absolutely need to watch a horse film then this one could be decent but keep in mind that no horses appear for the majority of the film. Just something to consider.

Overall 5/10

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania Review

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I can definitely see why this one has such a low score compared to the average Marvel production. For the most part this barely even feels like a superhero movie. Whoever decided to make an Ant-Man film that is far less about Scott running around and more about sci-fi lore should have had some second thoughts. All of the film’s issues can be traced back to one thing…..nobody cares about the Quantum realm. It’s got to be one of the more boring settings that I’ve seen in years and feels like it’s trying hard to stand out and instead gets shown up by just about every sci-fi environment before it. Ah well, at least we do have some fun fights.

The film starts off with Scott enjoying life. He helped save the world and his family is back. Things could not be going better for him…well until his daughter gets arrested again. She has been flying further and further off the deep end and it doesn’t help that the rest of Scott’s family almost seem supportive of her getting arrested. When Scott tries to shut this down, they make fun of his book because these are some of the most annoying, pettiest side characters I’ve seen since The Devil Wears Prada. They all seem jealous of Scott saving the world and it’s completely unwarranted since he’s such a nice guy. He’s not being a jerk about it or anything. Ah well, Cassie thought it would be a brilliant idea to send signals to the Quantum Realm and this causes everyone to be warped in there. Can they escape this tyrannical realm before certain twists tear this family apart?

Now you may be thinking that since Scott is basically the only real likable member of the Ant Man family that this film will be a way for everyone else to become tolerable? Well, unfortunately the film only has the opposite effect of that. The Wasp is probably the best out of the main supporting characters but she was actually more fun in the last one. The Quantum Realm brings out the worst in most characters although it brings out the best in one of the antagonists though so I’ll give the film some credit there.

Darren finally returns! The guy gets so much hype and recognition. Every time he shows up, the characters exclaim “Darren!” In a really puzzles but excited way. It’s sort of like when you’re at a party and you finally bump into someone that you know. So that was pretty cool and definitely worked out pretty well. He is now known as MODOK but it’s not like he’s a very serious character so his best scenes are when he takes the visor off. He had the best jokes throughout the movie. Yeah he gets some serious moments by the end but for the most part you will be remembering the laughs. It’s another glimpse of what the film could have been. Imagine a lot of banter between him and Scott above ground. Now that would have been fun.

Scott is still a good main character. He tends to carry his scenes and most of his dialogue is just good fun. He can banter with the best of characters. Scott may not be the best fighter but he’s a good dad just trying to help his family out of a jam. The guy endures quite a lot of damage and punishing blows throughout the movie with no real complaints either. I’d say he’s generally one of the most likable Avengers at this point.

That’s why the Quantum Realm is such a waste. You just don’t really care about Kang’s empire or the resistance group fighting against him. It just feels like the most generic war possible and we don’t get enough out of the characters to really be invested. The backgrounds are more boring than cool and of course the film can’t resist going with the disgusting ooze angle a few times like with the controls or having to drink some to understand the aliens. It really felt like the writers had no idea what to do with this place.

Then this place also destroyed Janet as a character. He was around here for a while and basically got into an affair. You’re hoping the whole time that maybe it wasn’t as bad as you’re thinking, only for rebound guy to confirm it. Janet’s excuse is also the worst possible one as she talks about having needs. That’s the lamest thing I’ve heard in a minute. Her constant secrets are also why everything fell into disarray so this film destroyed any possible character she could have had prior. There is just no coming back from this.

Meanwhile Hank is just way too passive about the whole thing. He’s very chill upon learning about this and then also admits he went on some dates himself. It’s all such weak stuff and then Hank is sidelined for a large part of the film. He does end up helping out with his ants later on but the main problem is that in a film like this there just wasn’t much to do. It’s not even a particularly action packed movie as things don’t really get explosive until the climax. Until then it’s mainly a lot of setup and lore.

Then we have Cassie and a whole lot of this is her fault after all. Shrinking cop cars and breaking the law is bad enough but then messing with the Quantum Realm when she knew Janet had been stuck there for decades. It seems like Cassie was mainly doing this out of curiosity which is not a great motive. It’s not like she was getting ready to save tons of lives or anything like that. Yeah I can’t give her a pass on this either. It’s just such a bad look for her all the way around. Of course by the end she has found a cause worth fighting for and does her best but it’s more like a broken clock finally getting the time right. I need to see some real character development that stuck for her in the next film.

Hope isn’t bad but it feels like she spends a good chunk of the intro to the film just smirking in the background as opposed to actually backing Scott up. I do appreciate that she is always a lot quicker to action though. Her suit is basically always on and she also didn’t panic with her alternate version copies as much. every group needs a good fighter an she does thrive in that role. So I may not be her biggest fan but I do appreciate her in a fight and she is definitely the backup that Scott needed.

As for good ole Kang the Conqueror, he just looks way too wimpy here. Yeah you could say it was part of his plan but his first appearance just makes him look so small and weak. Even once he has the tech back, you’re telling me he couldn’t react fast enough to stop Janet initially? Then having any trouble with Scott later on is rough. You really have two options here. Either his tech isn’t as good as he thinks it is and he never beat the Avengers in the past, or he is an absolutely terrible combatant who squanders his tech the whole time. Either way it is not a good look for him.

I would not be able to take him seriously to handle a big team of fighters so I’m definitely cool with the character being written out. We get two post credit scenes involving him and they’re more funny than anything. Kang really thought he could do something. The guest stars in the second scene were a lot more fun. Especially with one character completely calling Kang out the way I would have in the audience. He just doesn’t look that imposing at all and this film really sealed the deal there.

Overall, This film had its moments but the beginning and ending were easily the best parts. I wanted more of the surface world which always has a lot of fun to it. I usually like a good sci-fi environment but the world building for the Quantum Realm was just way too boring. The film did not do enough to justify its focus within the story. Ultimately that took a big toll on the film and it could have used some more action to keep you interested. There’s really on replay value to be had here or any reason to really watch the film. So for that reason you could probably skip this one and jump to the next film that really counts. Of course if you do plan to watch the movie, it’s not like it is a bad experience or anything so you’ll be fine. Just don’t expect a classic Ant-Man light hearted adventure.

Overall 5/10

Maid in Manhattan Review

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Okay it’s time for a pretty wholesome romance story about how true love prevails. It’s a pretty fun movie all around but the romance itself definitely doesn’t work out so well. The characters make a whole lot of mistakes throughout its run and the whole time you are rooting for a guy named Jerry who is just trying to do his best. It’s tough when you have good points but nobody will listen to you. Chris is lucky to have a trusty employee like Jerry at the ready.

The movie starts by introducing us to Marisa who works as a maid at a fairly fancy hotel. She has always done a good job over the years and does her best to keep on improving her craft. She would like to even join management someday but doesn’t really feel confident enough to pursue this. Her friend Stephanie decides to take the plunge for Marisa and mails in the application. The timing is rough though as Stephanie also convinced her to put on the rich clothes of Caroline, one of the people staying at the hotel.

As it so happens, a guy named Chris who is running for senate happens to bump into her and mistakes her for being the rich Caroline. They hit it off right away but this temporary fun cannot last. At any point she could be discovered by her boss or Chris might find out the truth. Should Marisa break things off before it gets too serious or keep up the deception for as long as she can? The stakes are definitely quite high here.

Naturally it’s a bit hard to root for Marisa here because she does break all of the basic rules of being a maid. Theft is a serious taboo and of course she should not be wearing the lady’s clothes either. You certainly wouldn’t feel good if you found out that somebody was messing around with your stuff right? It’s just basic etiquette at that point. No amount of peer pressure should have convinced Marisa to put that on.

Additionally, she had many chances to break things off with Chris or come clean about the whole situation but instead kept silent and this caused the situation to keep on getting worse. Marisa was just too half hearted about the whole thing and still manages to get upset at Chris and the others later on. I didn’t think her blow up was justified because all of the issues were her own. I would argue that by the end of the film she doesn’t seem super remorseful and doesn’t seem to have really learned the moral of the story.

Her kid Ty definitely gets her into a lot of trouble as well. This guy is always meddling like when he seeks out Chris for some closure. Marisa and him had already had a conversation on this and were supposed to have come to an understanding but in the end it turned out that this was not the case. Ty just does whatever he wants and figures it’ll be okay as long as things turn out well but generally he holds Marisa back. The kid needed to focus more on making his big speeches at school.

As for Chris, he comes across as a little too understanding at times. Even once all the cards are out on the table, he barely seems to care. Marisa storms off and he’s still willing to have her back right away. The whole thing just feels a bit rushed with how devoted he is to her instantly. A single walk through Central Park completely changed his life. He may be a nice guy but I don’t see how he will end up being a good senator. The guy is distracted too easily and doesn’t have his mind on policies.

His right hand man Jerry is likely the only reason he is even in the game. Jerry always knows what events to attend and who to talk to in order to make things work out just right. He is the guy who steps in to save the day when others don’t even know that the stakes are this high. No matter how many times he is ignored, Jerry still does his best. I respected his drive here and the guy had true determination. If Chris listened to him more often, he may be president by this point.

As for the side characters, Stephanie means well but she definitely does get Marisa into a lot of trouble. Mailing in an application to be manager for someone without telling them is extremely risky. Additionally the idea of trying on the coat was a pretty bad one. She adds to the film’s jokes at times but also tends to have a dirty mind so most of her gags will have you shaking your head.

Caroline makes for an intriguing antagonist. You can tell that she’s the kind of person who will always escalate a situation and she is quite good at it. Definitely not someone you can just wave off, she will keep on swinging. Thing is, she does have some valid points here when it comes to Marisa. She may not be the nicest person but it does make sense to stand your ground when things aren’t making sense. She was fun with how oblivious she was to how much Chris did not like her.

As with most rom-coms, the film is at its best when focused on the comedy. The script is pretty solid and there are a lot of quality jokes to be had the whole time. The pacing is good and there are quite a lot of characters here. You can enjoy the general tone and the film is over before you know it. The flip side to that of course is that none of the serious scenes work quite as well and of course the romance is as rushed as possible. It’s a very Hollywood styled romance with the two characters clicking immediately and basically skipping the dating phase to go to the one night stand mode immediately. You can tell that neither one of these characters are very serious and so you can’t imagine the relationship lasting for very long.

Overall, The two sides of the coin roughly cancel each other out so what you have is a movie right in the middle. If you enjoy romance movies then I can really recommend this one but if you’re just looking for a comedy then there are much better ones out there. This one does have the added bonus of having a lot of scenes in New York City though. That was definitely a lot of fun as they passed all of the big landmarks on the west side. It just adds a bit of extra punch to the film since that scenery is so iconic. The film itself may not be anything fancy but the execution is good enough. Honestly you could have cut out the romance part and just made it a wacky comedy about Marisa having to keep all of the crazy guests at bay long enough to get her promotion. I think that could have really worked.

Overall 5/10