Category Archives: 5 Star Movies

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania Review

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I can definitely see why this one has such a low score compared to the average Marvel production. For the most part this barely even feels like a superhero movie. Whoever decided to make an Ant-Man film that is far less about Scott running around and more about sci-fi lore should have had some second thoughts. All of the film’s issues can be traced back to one thing…..nobody cares about the Quantum realm. It’s got to be one of the more boring settings that I’ve seen in years and feels like it’s trying hard to stand out and instead gets shown up by just about every sci-fi environment before it. Ah well, at least we do have some fun fights.

The film starts off with Scott enjoying life. He helped save the world and his family is back. Things could not be going better for him…well until his daughter gets arrested again. She has been flying further and further off the deep end and it doesn’t help that the rest of Scott’s family almost seem supportive of her getting arrested. When Scott tries to shut this down, they make fun of his book because these are some of the most annoying, pettiest side characters I’ve seen since The Devil Wears Prada. They all seem jealous of Scott saving the world and it’s completely unwarranted since he’s such a nice guy. He’s not being a jerk about it or anything. Ah well, Cassie thought it would be a brilliant idea to send signals to the Quantum Realm and this causes everyone to be warped in there. Can they escape this tyrannical realm before certain twists tear this family apart?

Now you may be thinking that since Scott is basically the only real likable member of the Ant Man family that this film will be a way for everyone else to become tolerable? Well, unfortunately the film only has the opposite effect of that. The Wasp is probably the best out of the main supporting characters but she was actually more fun in the last one. The Quantum Realm brings out the worst in most characters although it brings out the best in one of the antagonists though so I’ll give the film some credit there.

Darren finally returns! The guy gets so much hype and recognition. Every time he shows up, the characters exclaim “Darren!” In a really puzzles but excited way. It’s sort of like when you’re at a party and you finally bump into someone that you know. So that was pretty cool and definitely worked out pretty well. He is now known as MODOK but it’s not like he’s a very serious character so his best scenes are when he takes the visor off. He had the best jokes throughout the movie. Yeah he gets some serious moments by the end but for the most part you will be remembering the laughs. It’s another glimpse of what the film could have been. Imagine a lot of banter between him and Scott above ground. Now that would have been fun.

Scott is still a good main character. He tends to carry his scenes and most of his dialogue is just good fun. He can banter with the best of characters. Scott may not be the best fighter but he’s a good dad just trying to help his family out of a jam. The guy endures quite a lot of damage and punishing blows throughout the movie with no real complaints either. I’d say he’s generally one of the most likable Avengers at this point.

That’s why the Quantum Realm is such a waste. You just don’t really care about Kang’s empire or the resistance group fighting against him. It just feels like the most generic war possible and we don’t get enough out of the characters to really be invested. The backgrounds are more boring than cool and of course the film can’t resist going with the disgusting ooze angle a few times like with the controls or having to drink some to understand the aliens. It really felt like the writers had no idea what to do with this place.

Then this place also destroyed Janet as a character. He was around here for a while and basically got into an affair. You’re hoping the whole time that maybe it wasn’t as bad as you’re thinking, only for rebound guy to confirm it. Janet’s excuse is also the worst possible one as she talks about having needs. That’s the lamest thing I’ve heard in a minute. Her constant secrets are also why everything fell into disarray so this film destroyed any possible character she could have had prior. There is just no coming back from this.

Meanwhile Hank is just way too passive about the whole thing. He’s very chill upon learning about this and then also admits he went on some dates himself. It’s all such weak stuff and then Hank is sidelined for a large part of the film. He does end up helping out with his ants later on but the main problem is that in a film like this there just wasn’t much to do. It’s not even a particularly action packed movie as things don’t really get explosive until the climax. Until then it’s mainly a lot of setup and lore.

Then we have Cassie and a whole lot of this is her fault after all. Shrinking cop cars and breaking the law is bad enough but then messing with the Quantum Realm when she knew Janet had been stuck there for decades. It seems like Cassie was mainly doing this out of curiosity which is not a great motive. It’s not like she was getting ready to save tons of lives or anything like that. Yeah I can’t give her a pass on this either. It’s just such a bad look for her all the way around. Of course by the end she has found a cause worth fighting for and does her best but it’s more like a broken clock finally getting the time right. I need to see some real character development that stuck for her in the next film.

Hope isn’t bad but it feels like she spends a good chunk of the intro to the film just smirking in the background as opposed to actually backing Scott up. I do appreciate that she is always a lot quicker to action though. Her suit is basically always on and she also didn’t panic with her alternate version copies as much. every group needs a good fighter an she does thrive in that role. So I may not be her biggest fan but I do appreciate her in a fight and she is definitely the backup that Scott needed.

As for good ole Kang the Conqueror, he just looks way too wimpy here. Yeah you could say it was part of his plan but his first appearance just makes him look so small and weak. Even once he has the tech back, you’re telling me he couldn’t react fast enough to stop Janet initially? Then having any trouble with Scott later on is rough. You really have two options here. Either his tech isn’t as good as he thinks it is and he never beat the Avengers in the past, or he is an absolutely terrible combatant who squanders his tech the whole time. Either way it is not a good look for him.

I would not be able to take him seriously to handle a big team of fighters so I’m definitely cool with the character being written out. We get two post credit scenes involving him and they’re more funny than anything. Kang really thought he could do something. The guest stars in the second scene were a lot more fun. Especially with one character completely calling Kang out the way I would have in the audience. He just doesn’t look that imposing at all and this film really sealed the deal there.

Overall, This film had its moments but the beginning and ending were easily the best parts. I wanted more of the surface world which always has a lot of fun to it. I usually like a good sci-fi environment but the world building for the Quantum Realm was just way too boring. The film did not do enough to justify its focus within the story. Ultimately that took a big toll on the film and it could have used some more action to keep you interested. There’s really on replay value to be had here or any reason to really watch the film. So for that reason you could probably skip this one and jump to the next film that really counts. Of course if you do plan to watch the movie, it’s not like it is a bad experience or anything so you’ll be fine. Just don’t expect a classic Ant-Man light hearted adventure.

Overall 5/10

Maid in Manhattan Review

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Okay it’s time for a pretty wholesome romance story about how true love prevails. It’s a pretty fun movie all around but the romance itself definitely doesn’t work out so well. The characters make a whole lot of mistakes throughout its run and the whole time you are rooting for a guy named Jerry who is just trying to do his best. It’s tough when you have good points but nobody will listen to you. Chris is lucky to have a trusty employee like Jerry at the ready.

The movie starts by introducing us to Marisa who works as a maid at a fairly fancy hotel. She has always done a good job over the years and does her best to keep on improving her craft. She would like to even join management someday but doesn’t really feel confident enough to pursue this. Her friend Stephanie decides to take the plunge for Marisa and mails in the application. The timing is rough though as Stephanie also convinced her to put on the rich clothes of Caroline, one of the people staying at the hotel.

As it so happens, a guy named Chris who is running for senate happens to bump into her and mistakes her for being the rich Caroline. They hit it off right away but this temporary fun cannot last. At any point she could be discovered by her boss or Chris might find out the truth. Should Marisa break things off before it gets too serious or keep up the deception for as long as she can? The stakes are definitely quite high here.

Naturally it’s a bit hard to root for Marisa here because she does break all of the basic rules of being a maid. Theft is a serious taboo and of course she should not be wearing the lady’s clothes either. You certainly wouldn’t feel good if you found out that somebody was messing around with your stuff right? It’s just basic etiquette at that point. No amount of peer pressure should have convinced Marisa to put that on.

Additionally, she had many chances to break things off with Chris or come clean about the whole situation but instead kept silent and this caused the situation to keep on getting worse. Marisa was just too half hearted about the whole thing and still manages to get upset at Chris and the others later on. I didn’t think her blow up was justified because all of the issues were her own. I would argue that by the end of the film she doesn’t seem super remorseful and doesn’t seem to have really learned the moral of the story.

Her kid Ty definitely gets her into a lot of trouble as well. This guy is always meddling like when he seeks out Chris for some closure. Marisa and him had already had a conversation on this and were supposed to have come to an understanding but in the end it turned out that this was not the case. Ty just does whatever he wants and figures it’ll be okay as long as things turn out well but generally he holds Marisa back. The kid needed to focus more on making his big speeches at school.

As for Chris, he comes across as a little too understanding at times. Even once all the cards are out on the table, he barely seems to care. Marisa storms off and he’s still willing to have her back right away. The whole thing just feels a bit rushed with how devoted he is to her instantly. A single walk through Central Park completely changed his life. He may be a nice guy but I don’t see how he will end up being a good senator. The guy is distracted too easily and doesn’t have his mind on policies.

His right hand man Jerry is likely the only reason he is even in the game. Jerry always knows what events to attend and who to talk to in order to make things work out just right. He is the guy who steps in to save the day when others don’t even know that the stakes are this high. No matter how many times he is ignored, Jerry still does his best. I respected his drive here and the guy had true determination. If Chris listened to him more often, he may be president by this point.

As for the side characters, Stephanie means well but she definitely does get Marisa into a lot of trouble. Mailing in an application to be manager for someone without telling them is extremely risky. Additionally the idea of trying on the coat was a pretty bad one. She adds to the film’s jokes at times but also tends to have a dirty mind so most of her gags will have you shaking your head.

Caroline makes for an intriguing antagonist. You can tell that she’s the kind of person who will always escalate a situation and she is quite good at it. Definitely not someone you can just wave off, she will keep on swinging. Thing is, she does have some valid points here when it comes to Marisa. She may not be the nicest person but it does make sense to stand your ground when things aren’t making sense. She was fun with how oblivious she was to how much Chris did not like her.

As with most rom-coms, the film is at its best when focused on the comedy. The script is pretty solid and there are a lot of quality jokes to be had the whole time. The pacing is good and there are quite a lot of characters here. You can enjoy the general tone and the film is over before you know it. The flip side to that of course is that none of the serious scenes work quite as well and of course the romance is as rushed as possible. It’s a very Hollywood styled romance with the two characters clicking immediately and basically skipping the dating phase to go to the one night stand mode immediately. You can tell that neither one of these characters are very serious and so you can’t imagine the relationship lasting for very long.

Overall, The two sides of the coin roughly cancel each other out so what you have is a movie right in the middle. If you enjoy romance movies then I can really recommend this one but if you’re just looking for a comedy then there are much better ones out there. This one does have the added bonus of having a lot of scenes in New York City though. That was definitely a lot of fun as they passed all of the big landmarks on the west side. It just adds a bit of extra punch to the film since that scenery is so iconic. The film itself may not be anything fancy but the execution is good enough. Honestly you could have cut out the romance part and just made it a wacky comedy about Marisa having to keep all of the crazy guests at bay long enough to get her promotion. I think that could have really worked.

Overall 5/10

Mysterious Island Review

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The title of this film may be extremely vague but in a way it’s also quite fitting. The movie is mainly about the island after all and it is quite mysterious so you certainly can’t say that it was a misleading title or anything like that. It’s not a bad film but it can be uneventful for a little while. I would say things really picked up once a certain legendary character showed up and even then you will only really feel the impact if you know the character. If you don’t, then you may end up shrugging a bit.

The film starts with a bunch of people escaping from a prison cell and getting onto a balloon. The civil war is ongoing right now and tensions are incredibly high. Unfortunately their balloon crash lands on a mysterious island. Not just any island mind you….but Monster Island! Now they need to find a way off this island and fast or they will be destroyed. The guys don’t all get along but they decide to put away their differences in order to survive this experience. Two ladies also end up washing ashore so now they can really use their numbers to cook, make weapons, and prepare a way off the island. Will that really be enough or a plan though?

First off I have to give the film enormous credit for not going the cringe route and making the guys all fight over the two ladies. That would have been pretty unbearable and also annoying because it just seems to me that most people would not fall for this obvious trap and would very quickly begin thinking of ways to utilize them in the survival operation. Well, that’s what happens here as they quickly begin to contribute and it was well written. We do get the obligatory romance but for once it wasn’t ultra annoying. It’s a bit rushed but this is a life or death situation and you can see how people would rush such a thing in this situation.

The giant monsters are a little less impressive though. You have a giant chicken, a giant bee, and more. The problem is that all of the “Monsters” tend to just be giant animals for the most part. Yeah it still does work in terms of adding some danger to the film but I would have liked them to have gone all out with the designs. Give us something really scary to make you think twice about everything. I was still glad to see them overall I suppose but at the same time it would also lead to animal violence when they are defeated. It’s the ultimate double edged sword and that was not something the film could really afford.

Additionally it’s not like the island is the best backdrop here. With the characters all stranded there isn’t a whole lot of variety in the backgrounds. It beats a desert or being underwater but I would still take other venues in general. Once the guest star shows up, at least we have his lab and we learn more about the story. I would say his plot is the most interesting part of the film. He clearly seems a little mad with his experiments and he’s not the nicest guy around but at least he does have a full plan. He hasn’t just been wasting time out here or anything like that. No, he’s actually been on his feet and doing things the likes of which nobody has ever seen.

The way he goes out is a bit underwhelming though. Also the film spoils the guest star by putting his name in the opening credits which is an absolutely bizarre decision. I’m guessing at the time it was probably a legal thing where they had to mention him but it’s still a bit annoying. You could probably piece it together anyway when characters talk about his boat but it still would have been more of a surprise. It was also nice to see the in-fighting there with one character really admiring this guy while the other couldn’t stand him. The difference in opinion seems to stem from their jobs which makes sense.

All in all, the film would have been much better if the giant animals were not in it. That’s sad to say but with how the humans were crushing and eating them, they just didn’t work as big antagonists. Would have been better to have either had the island be eerily empty instead or you just used full on monsters. If you needed villains, have the pirate ship show up a bit earlier instead and lead to a lot of big fights. There are a lot of ways around bringing in the giant animals if you really needed to go down that route.

I can at least say that all of the technicals are on point. The writing is good and the pacing is solid. I can’t say there is much of a real soundtrack here but it’s an older film so you don’t really expect that anyway. It is a very quick watch and the tone is nice. It’s got that old time feel to it that always results in quality movies. Without the animal violence it would jump up several points as it is but ultimately that wasn’t to be. It feels a bit like an empty movie. So it’s not particularly offensive but it’s also not a film that I’d be clamoring to watch again. For better or worse…it’s just there. I don’t expect you will remember this film for very long after watching it. Perhaps just the giant monsters since the effects for them were interesting. And of course the guest star since having him appear was pretty fun.

Overall, Mysterious Island has a better concept than the execution. It moves a bit slowly for me and so by the time we get to the big climax, it’s a bit late in the game. It’s not as if the film is super long or anything either but I do think they could have planned out the timing a little bit better. That’s just how I see it at least. If you really like the concept then it’s still worth checking out. The writing is good and the characters all act professional. Even when there are disagreements and in-fighting, they don’t suddenly start acting like children or anything like that.

Overall 5/10

Kate & Leopold Review

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It’s time for one of those romance films where you’re really hoping that the romance will be good but have serious doubts the whole time. Unfortunately your gut would be correct on this one because the romance is very weak. At least we have some time travel shenanigans to help with that. It keeps the film interesting but otherwise I don’t think this is an all timer or anything like that. Instead it all goes a bit too quickly and the ending doesn’t seem particularly happy.

The movie starts out by introducing us to Leopold who has a rather restrictive life. He is being pressured into marrying somebody for money since his royal line isn’t doing very well at the moment. He’s been resisting but can no longer fight against the social pressures. Before this can happen, he sees his future ancestor taking photos so he chases the guy and falls into a portal which leads to the modern day. The other guy (Stuart) gets injured and had to stay at the hospital so Leopold has to try and survive a few days in the modern world before he goes back. He bumps into Stuart’s ex girlfriend Kate though and quickly begins to like her. He will have to compete with an inappropriate boss of hers though as well as the big cultural divide that comes with the passing of time. Can he really get used to the present?

So why is the romance weak? To start with, it’s all a bit too fast. Initially Kate finds Leopold annoying and then she quickly begins to see his charm and all that. He saves her from a petty thief and also calls out her boss. The whole thing made Kate look rather naive though as she was warned not to eat dinner with the boss since he would obviously try something and of course that was the case. Now of course he is the worst character here and by a large margin but you would expect Kate to have more street smarts. Instead she fumbles her way through life, gets drunk, and doesn’t really seem to react to situations very quickly.

She makes snap decisions and those are usually not a good idea. Like her decision in the ending which seems like a terrible one because there may be no take backs. You have to assume that the future home crew will pay her a visit a some point because that’s the only way to make this feasible. Otherwise I think she will realize a little too late just how unsophisticated

Also, we have to consider the fact that Leopold was going to marry someone in the past. Yes, he was pressured to do so but that is a very small comfort to me. It means that this can happen again with people pressuring him not to marry an ordinary person. He needed to have a whole lot more agency here. I would also say it’s probably not a good idea to date your ancestor’s ex girlfriend in general but since the relatives don’t really know each other I suppose I can cut a little slack there. It still doesn’t make the romance any better with none of them seeming like serious characters.

Also, while Kate should leave the company because she can never trust that boss again, leaving right as she got the promotion is pretty crazy. I definitely can’t say that I agreed with that option at all. Especially not for a past life where she’s now going to be super broke. Hopefully Stuart finds another way to go back to the past and reads when the next portal will be around. He was surprisingly chill about helping his ex meet a new guy but I guess he put that whole relationship behind him. In a way that’s pretty healthy.

Then we have the side character Charlie who wants to be a good comedian. He seems to have decent skills and perhaps just tries a little too hard. He can be a bit annoying at times but at least he had Leopold’s back from the start. So I’ll give him points for being a solid character even if he was mainly around to slow the plot a bit. Additionally he bombed so hard at the club I don’t know how he managed to salvage things the second time around and get a girlfriend with Leopold’s help. I suppose alls well that ends well.

The way the time travel works here is pretty fun as the past seems to basically be happening at the same time. So it’s more like one of those things where everything is moving forward to you’re quickly sotted into the moment that you want to go as opposed to it making a whole new universe. The film isn’t focusing on the time travel too hard but still something that’s good to notice. To me that’s where the hook is that separates this from a random film.

Leopold could be a little slow at picking up on things here but it’s not played up too much like other films would. So he can come off as a bit dense but for the most part is just trying to do his best. He has some morals too like how he wouldn’t continue to advertise a product that was no good. The other characters including Kate seemed to think that this was a good gig either way but Leopold wanted to only do things that would leave the world proud of him. In a way it shows how society had already started to fall from his time to the present. Then again, he’s the one getting married because he can’t defy social expectations back in his day so he can’t talk much. Yeah I keep bringing that one up because it is a massive blow to the film the entire time.

Overall, This is a reasonable film. I think the boss got off way too easily but on the whole this is more of an uplifting movie. It’s a very light toned comedy film with some romance and every character running around. The cast isn’t particularly big so that lets the individual dynamics play out. I tend to always choose a good rom-com over a rom-dram and this is why. Even when it’s not the best film, it still ends up being a fun watch. The pacing is good and there is a reasonable amount of replay value. You really just have to overlook the poor romance.

Overall 5/10

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Review

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It’s time for the weakest Indiana Jones adventure. This one definitely dwells a bit too much on the grosser elements of exploration as the heroes keep finding themselves in spots where the locals eat rather gross food options. Additionally the film definitely does decide to get a little extra edgy like having Jones be forced to take some corrupted blood. The end result is a film that doesn’t quite let Indiana Jones get as much adventuring in as you’d like.

The film starts off with Indiana trying to close out a deal he made with some shady individuals. They betray him but Indiana was ready and betrays them right back. His big mistake was in drinking some poison by mistake so he loses his leverage and barely escapes along with his life. His sidekick Short Round was definitely really helpful here but Jones is less pleased to have a lady named Willie follow along. The 3 of them are now stuck together and before they can go home, Indiana runs into a village where the kids have gone missing. Is it the work of a supernatural entity…or something a little more down to Earth?

Right away I can tell you that the romance in this film is quite abysmal although it’s not like the romance in the Jones films tend to be all that good anywhere. The third film actually gets even worse in that regard. Willie has no reason to like Jones after being tossed in this crazy predicament and she comes off as looking desperate. No worries, the same is true of Jones as well who really can’t ever seem to keep his mind on the adventure at hand. Perhaps that is why he tends to lose several times in every movie? He is constantly being outmaneuvered and manipulated by all of the other characters at every turn. He has to get lucky constantly in order to survive.

I’ll give him credit for doing his best to save the kids and help things end all right but as a character he can definitely be really annoying. In this film he is really outshined by his sidekick most of the time. Shorty saves Jones on multiple occasions and really does a lot better than I would have expected out of any kid. Usually the kids tend to be panicking or getting in the way but not this guy. He stepped up as needed and took a lot of risks. While I still tend to avoid having kids in film, this one wasn’t bad at least. He was probably even the MVP here.

Willie never really gets better even outside of the romance plot to be honest. She is constantly panicking and yelling the whole time. She has some valid points like I wouldn’t want to be forced to eat bugs either. Some kind of escape plan would be a good idea but at the end of the day you can’t always escape everything. Sometimes you’ve just got to take a stand but even to the end Willie was allowing herself to just be pushed around and go with the flow. Not the best way to really pave a path for herself.

Like I said at the start, the film definitely leans too hard on all the creepy crawlies. When characters aren’t eating them, they are in rooms covered in them or having to let them crawl all around. Crude humor probably isn’t quite the word for it so I don’t really know which term is right but it’s just overplayed. Meanwhile this is definitely known as a fairly violent Jones film for good reason. The deaths can get intense, then you have the gruesome drinking blood scene and of course Jones being used as a pin cushion.

While the climax gives us a really long action sequence, it actually takes a while to get there. In the leadup to that we have a whole lot of lore as things are being explained to Jones but the film basically takes a timeout. This could have worked better with a fun backdrop but of course it’s all about the bugs and the weak romance so you’re really just itching for the plot to begin again. Anything to get you out of the duller moments.

The villains are also on the very forgettable side. I’d say the villains from the first film were a lot more impressive. These guys are all insane cultists who fit all the primitive tropes well but do little to really impress you. They’re the kind of villains where you probably won’t remember any of their names or even much of their goals within a few weeks. They are obstacles for Jones to defeat and nothing more. I’m waiting for another big rival character like the guy from the first film. That would make for a much better dynamic.

Also by this point there is so much supernatural going on within the world that Jones needs to weaponize it. Clearly voodoo dolls work so using that to tie up his enemies would be intense. Of course first he would need to figure out how it works but this is all a lot easier once you know that supernatural things do exist. Likewise we had spirits in the first film. I know at the time Jones didn’t believe in the supernatural but surely by this point he does. He would be absolutely crazy to not have put the two dots together by now.

Overall, The Temple of Doom wasn’t particularly good. It’s also just a little too long for it to only be okay so there isn’t a lot of replay value here. To watch it again you would need a strong reason to do so. Additionally there is pretty much no screentime of Jones in his professor role which is a shame since I liked the whole dual identity. It feels like the film just sort of lost its way a bit here although it would rebound in time. I needed more fun tomb exploration and solving puzzles like a Tomb Raider game. That’s what I expect from an Indiana Jones adventure at least.

Overall 5/10

Two Mules for Sister Sara Review

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It’s time for one of those classic Western films. This one has its share of ups and downs. On one hand, the romance is pretty bad and the main character looks surprisingly weak at times but on the other hand it is an interesting story as it goes through. The ending is a bit sad for many of the characters but the lead isn’t exactly a full on hero this time around so he doesn’t exactly stop to worry about it. I don’t see this one hanging in there with the best in the genre but it’s good enough.

The movie starts with Hogan saving a nun from a bunch of attackers. She pleads for his help and Hogan is reluctant at first but she begins to prove herself useful in knowing about a nearby base. See Hogan needs to help blow up a French base due to a deal he made with the Mexicans and then after that he will be given a lot of gold. Hogan is ready to be rich and so he quickly prepares for this. What he doesn’t realize is that his side is way less prepared than they led him to believe.

Now a lot of the humor in the film is based around how Sara doesn’t always act like a Nun. She can be rather crass at times and just doesn’t have the right temperament. I’d say the audience knows something is up almost immediately but surprisingly Hogan doesn’t really put the pieces together. In hindsight it doesn’t make Sara look all that good though. If anything it makes her appear extra naive at times and you really wonder what kind of a plan she even had. If not for Hogan stopping by early on then she would have really been doomed right from the start of her journey. She also takes her duties rather far to the extent of wasting water and doing a lot of extra work when time is short.

The scenes are more questionable by the end of the film but you can make some arguments for them so I suppose that’s what counts. I never ended up becoming a fan of her character though. One crazy scene in particular happens in the climax while everyone is dying she is relaxing in the tub. Of course Hogan isn’t any better so the same thing applies to him. The guy makes plain that he’s not a hero on several occasions and is always coming close to a shootout. I give the Mexican commander props for standing up to him the whole time. It’s rare to see anyone with that level of confidence against the main hero.

In that debate Hogan was technically correct in that he sacrificed too much to be cut out at that point. He’s a very good shooter as always but perhaps isn’t quite as overly confident as you’re used to the actor being in other films. There is also a scene where Hogan is completely taken by surprise and shot by a nearby Indian arrow. That scene was probably the best in the film because of how sudden it was. Usually the arrows hit a side character or something but no, this time it was a full surprise blow that completely worked. Most impressive!

Of course it does lead to the weakest scene which is when the arrow has to be pulled out. The whole scene is dragged on way too much. It just goes and goes and you feel like we got the point early on. The film could have proceeded from there. So the movie has an issue with fanservice, bad romance, and the pulling out the arrow scene was overdone. At least in terms of animals only a snake gets chopped. Still rough but it could have been worse if it was a dog or a horse.

There isn’t a ton of action here until the end though. For the most part it’s all about the adventure. There are several close shaves but each time the fight ends up getting defused first. We had a scene where Hogan was setting up guns at different windows and I thought he was going to pull a bluff about a lot of soldiers being around or actually using them all. Instead the other army just keeps on going which felt like a bit of a waste to me. I thought that would have been real interesting to see how the fight would play out. I suppose its effective as a misdirect but it would have been a good opportunity to throw in some quality action.

The climax delivers on all the gun action but since both sides are bunches of nameless grunts, you’re not quite as invested. Hogan gets a quick shootout inside of the room but I would have liked it if he could have gotten more to do after that. In theory he’s the best asset that the army has so lets see him get a little more action to do. A few key shots to take care of villains, maybe show him saving some of the soldiers, etc. Even if he’s not going to be the ultimate hero, it helps to serve his own purposes which is enough justification in itself.

I will say that the twist for Sara is good in the sense that it takes away from the corruption message. Otherwise it felt like throughout the whole movie Hogan was trying to get to her and introducing a bunch of doubts in every direction. That would have definitely been annoying if the romance had just happened anyway. So this way you remove that part even if it doesn’t exactly help her as a character. So the film basically had to pick its poison among two dicey options.

Overall, Two Mules for Sara is a good film if you really love westerns but only okay otherwise. It feels like Sara heavily overplays her hand to the point where you feel like the film is really trying to steer you away from the plot twist even though there were several hints for it early on. The film is really built around the banter between the two main characters but since the romance isn’t particularly good, this doesn’t end up working as effectively as it should have. The climax delivers on the action by the end but it takes a while to get there. It is an interesting and engaging film so as long as you can look past the weak points, you should be fine.

Overall 5/10

The Professional Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for a film about having to try and grow up within the world a lot sooner than expected. It’s definitely a tough road for little Mathilda as she encounters a whole lot of obstacles. I think it was definitely an engaging film but at the same time I definitely had my share of issues with it. I would have liked Leon to have been a little more street savvy here.

The film starts off by introducing us to Leon who is an exceptionally skilled assassin. He always completes his missions very quickly and doesn’t have a lot of difficulty with them. When he’s on the case you know that victory is at hand. That being said, he has done this by isolating himself from the rest of the world. This all changes when his neighbor Mathilda’s family are all murdered by a gang and he ends up letting her take shelter at his place. She’s just a little kid so he feels bad about sending her on her way but now he is caught up in a huge conspiracy. This powerful organization of mobsters is after her and so he will be right in the middle of that. Can he take them all down…and should he even try?

It was definitely a rough spot for hm to be in. When Mathilda originally asks him for help, he either had to let her in or watch her get shot to death outside. He would be directly responsible for her death and while he is not the most compassionate soul out there, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It shows that he’s really not all bad and the assassin job hasn’t totally gotten to him. There is still a piece of humanity to him out there after all. He gradually teaches her the basics of shooting but there really isn’t enough time to make a pro out of her. In fact, she never really gets to put the practice to use which is realistic since she is still so young. Ultimately Leon has to do everything on his own.

He’s fun to root for but at no point can you mistake him for a hero. He does jobs for money and you can’t imagine that they were all to bump off bad people. The money would have had him take out good people too. He has a rule about no women or children but if you’re an innocent dude then you are still out of luck. Unfortunately he isn’t as smart in the real world. His manager Tony is clearly taking advantage of him as Leon lets him keep all the money and Tony just gives him a little bit every now and then. Tony may act like they’re friends but that’s really not the situation on the ground. Tony really doesn’t even come through for Mathilda when it counts. I imagine the list of people you can trust as an assassin is definitely a very short one.

Mathilda can definitely be on the annoying side though. At first she’s fine, she tries to work hard to improve her skills and avenge her little brother. The problem is that she loses this determination early on. You’d think with such a motive she would be pulling off any kind of schedule but instead her resolve weakens and she wants to have fun. Sure, she is a kid so you can cut her some slack but then she actively becomes a problem. She makes up stories that cause Leon to be kicked out, then she makes a spectacle of herself infiltrating the villain base, etc. She directly puts Leon in a whole lot of danger without even getting close to her goals. If she had at least gone ahead and shot the main villain then that would be one thing but instead she choked when it counted. This is definitely a case where that can’t happen. She needed to steel her heart sooner.

She went through a lot as her life was lousy to start with and then the murders happened. So it’s not like Mathilda had an easy life but it would still be nice if she didn’t take so many risks. Running out to where she used to live, following the villains, etc. It’s just really like tempting fate all the time and without a plan there is no benefit to this either. Now if she had a grand master plan then things would be different but that’s not what happened.

As for the main villain Norman, he’s definitely one of those quirky villains. He likes listening to music and then he goes off the rails. He definitely has no mercy but also isn’t the bravest villain as he typically hides behind the rest of his army before making a move. By the end of the movie he sends in dozens and dozens of others first before moving a step. He does have a good strategic mind though as he predicts Leon’s plan himself. The movie doesn’t really give him the big final scene I was expecting though. I was waiting for some kind of a clever line but in the end that’s not how it went down. I suppose it’s not like he needed the dignity of it but it could have been fun.

Naturally this film can definitely be on the violent side. There is quite the body count and neither side has any reason to hold back. With the main character being an assassin, he certainly knows how to take care of many opponents at once. The sheer numbers may have been a problem for most people, but not Leon. It’s not incredibly over the top or anything but definitely enough to be noticeable. The ending also isn’t super satisfying. It’s a bit predictable which isn’t bad but I was hoping it would go with a different angle.

I also would have liked Matilda to help out more. Even considering the fact that she is a kid, I would have expected her to have really contributed more. Maybe shooting at least one or two goons during the climax. I was expecting more of a payoff for the training or maybe you could have had Tony somehow escape the climax and she finishes him off. You don’t always get to pull off the big revenge mode yourself but that would have definitely been a satisfying way to end things off.

Overall, The Professional is a fun film. I would have liked to have seen more scenes with Leon at his job though. The opening is really intense as he takes names and quickly dispatches a whole lot of enemy soldiers in his way. It’s really the last time we get to see him using his true abilities until we start approaching the climax. A few more missions like this would have done a good job of showing off just how dangerous he is. We know it from the story of course but the more he could show this off the better. If you like classic assassins and the ole mentor setup then this is definitely a movie that you should enjoy.

Overall 5/10

Mr. Holmes Review

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It’s time for a film about Sherlock Holmes when he was really at the end of his life. This means the film would have to tackle the mystery in a very different way since he can’t be running around and actually fighting himself. No instead he has to solve most of the case in his head. It’s a very different approach. Not a particularly effective one mind you. I did miss the usual Sherlock Holmes style this time. The movie ends up being largely uneventful with a very small cast for most of the run.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Sherlock Holmes who is being taken care of by Mrs. Munro and her son Roger. Roger really likes hanging out with Holmes and learning about bees but Munro is a little less amused as the whole thing. She thinks it might be a bit dangerous, not just for Roger but for Holmes too since he might faint and take a hard fall. Her fears are certainly justified here. Well Holmes is trying to figure out what happened in his final case before retirement. For some reason he can’t think of it, maybe he blocked it out? Well, now he can’t rest until he solves the case.

I would say the part that tripped the film up the most was just how far they decided to age up Holmes. He’s not just old but he’s ancient in this movie. He can barely move at all and is basically dying by this point. A single fall can give him numerous bruises and so that severely limits him. He can basically walk around the house but that’s it. So when I say the case is mainly in his head, it’s really quite literal. Even in the flashbacks he looks old to the point where if you forget that you’re watching a flashback you’d think it was happening in real time.

Holmes does get to use his famous observational skills to pick up on different tricks and also solves a bonus case in the final minutes. I was glad he got a win but there’s still something sad about the whole thing. It’s like he knows that his death is imminent and there’s not a whole lot that he can do about it. In general it’s sad to see any character taken to this extreme, especially when they used to be a fighter. It was fun to have Holmes see his film version at the theaters during the movie.

Considering how Holmes blocked off his memory you can bet that the case doesn’t end super well for him. I won’t go into specifics since that’s the whole point of the climax but I don’t feel like Holmes really made any big mistakes. A big theme within the film is that Holmes is a genius but doesn’t understand people all that well. That may be rue but I don’t think another character would have done much differently at this point. Holmes did take care of the immediate threat and it also made sense to reject the advance since he wasn’t going to be getting involves in any kind of illicit affairs. Sure he could have potentially handled the whole thing with a longer speech and being more verbose in general but this is all hindsight.

You never know how a situation will play out and so I think Holmes is being really harsh to himself throughout the film. Meanwhile Munro is probably the most tragic character here because she’s just trying to provide a good life for her son Roger but a rift is forming between them due to how she treats Holmes. She takes a much more cautious approach than the main character which of course paints her as the bad guy to an extent. She makes her share of mistakes like burning letters meant for Holmes. I can’t really defend that but otherwise her top priority is on protecting Roger and so that’s what she focuses on.

As for Roger, he was a good characters. At times there wasn’t a whole lot to his character but he was really eager to help. He had Sherlock’s back at every point even if it meant keeping secrets. He just needed to be a little older and he would have probably done better in the film. As it is, what happens to him in the film would have been hard to avoid for even trained professionals. When you’re in a moment like that it is easy to panic.

The film’s biggest problem is that it can be rather dull for large chunks of the film. The past case just wasn’t as interesting as it could and should have been. Instead of being the part of the film that really wows you, you are waiting to go back to the present again. I liked hearing Holmes explain the situation by the end as the detective speeches are always fun but it just wasn’t a very captivating case. The presentation in the movie was a whole lot more interesting.

Also while it is normal for characters to start crashing out during stressful times, the disagreements go pretty far. At one point one character tells the other that “You should be dead!!” and it’s a comment that is hard to walk back from after all that. Like you probably can’t easily bury the hatchet on that one. It’ll always be in the back of your head because under duress or not, they clearly meant that. At the end of the day Roger may have tried being Holmes’ friend but that’s about it. He had lots of acquaintances but was ultimately all alone. Even the whole raising bees angle felt like it was him being super lonely. It’s not really the kind of hobby that most people dream about getting into. I know I definitely wouldn’t be able to handle that one because I’m not good with bees as it is.

Overall, Mr. Holmes will have to be one of the weakest Sherlock Holmes films. It’s not bad per say but it does feel like the movie didn’t really know where to go for a large portion of it. It’s really not a detective movie first and foremost. It’s more about vibing and enjoying the great outdoors which can be okay but that works more for a film where the main character can actually be running around and trying things out. Here Holmes can plan things out in his head but that’s just not good enough to be exciting. Check this one out if it’s really early and you want to see what it’s like but the slow paced nature of the movie does severely limit the audience. If the film cannot hook you even slightly while it’s early then that’s game over.

Overall 5/10

Punch-Drunk Love Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

The film introduces us to Barry who has a reasonable job and his life is stable but the guy has nobody to really share it with. He has 7 sisters who are super talkative and outgoing but they are a little too much for him. The guys at work seem okay but you could still say that he doesn’t really have any friends. Well one day a lady shows up who likes him but Barry had been impatient and dialed one of those unethical phone numbers to have an intimate talk with a random person. That was a big mistake as she is now blackmailing him and wants a ton of money or he will be exposed. If this wasn’t bad enough, she has a gang going after him. Can Barry get his life in working order or is it all over for him?

One thing that will stand out right away is how good the main theme is. It’s really catchy and helps the scene to stand out more with the fast paced dialogue. It’s quite fitting and usually music is an area that films have a lot of trouble with so I was definitely glad to see this. The theme plays quite a few times and never gets old. While the movie itself may not be a big hit, at least it does give you something really catchy to remember it by. Other films wish they could pull that off.

Meanwhile the crazy nature of the film is also nice. Little things here and there won’t always make sense as the film intentionally tries to catch your attention with small details. Whether it is characters doing crazy things in the background, the nature of Barry’s business, etc. The whole film thrives on being very weird. It is definitely very successful on that front although I dare say the film could have stood to take itself a little less seriously and then it could have really capitalized on the weirdness.

Naturally the romance is going to be one of the weak links here. On one hand the weakness is part of how weird the whole thing is with the main heroine being rather desperate for Barry for some reason. It’s a very lucky occurrence for Barry so you almost want to root for him but of course turning to the phone number first was a massive mistake. No real way to save him at that point and either way the romance itself would have been way too rushed.

Barry deals with a lot over the course of the film but in a way it doesn’t feel like he really solves the core issues. He may have shut down the villain group that was after him but he still has the crazy 7 sisters who will keep on messing with him and you can bet that this relationship is going to get complicated for him as well. Hopefully he is just able to handle the situation really well but the ending doesn’t ring quite as positively as intended. The best way for Barry to handle this would just be to not take things so seriously. The sisters really like talking so you just let them keep on talking but you don’t really engage with the points unless directly asked. Then from there know that it’s such an info overload that most of the info itself will be lost in the shuffle.

Most of the 7 sisters don’t get to do much but we do get one family scene where you can at least see what the chaos is like. The main one who was trying to set Barry up with a girlfriend in the first place gets the biggest role. She seems nice enough but has no real concept of boundaries or privacy. She will just say whatever she is thinking which can really put Barry in a tough spot at times.

Then with the heroine Lena, you’re sort of waiting for a big twist to happen the whole time but in the end nothing really pops up. I guess you could say she’s just a nice person without any big agendas at play which is cool to see. Romance aside she seemed like a nice person who wasn’t too quick to judge Barry based on second hand information and actually got to know him. She was also fairly clever like with her original car plan. I suppose that could count as a bit of a twist.

The villains here aren’t the most intense ones you’ll meet. They talk tough at first but quickly begin to meet their match. I did like the added sense of danger here though. They really forced Barry to quickly consider the situation and see what he would do next. He was ready during the final confrontation which was a pretty good scene. It beat the actual last meeting scene which was definitely on the anti climactic side. I was expecting a bit more than that even though this is not an action film.

As far as the tone goes, I would still call this part comedy to an extent but it’s definitely not going for a goofy vibe. Funny things happen every now and again but there are also some serious undertones occurring throughout. The movie manages the balance pretty well and I’d say this one could have been better with just getting rid of the phone plot. I’d have had Barry get scammed in a different way that would have made him a little more sympathetic instead. Also the second half is played a bit too linearly compared to the first half. I’d have thrown in some more wrinkles and twists to keep it from being too standard.

Overall, Punch-Drunk Love is a decent film. I’d say it was a bit better than I was expecting. I think I was expecting the film to be a little too try hard in how serious it would get but instead this film found a really good balance which I can appreciate. If you’re interested in a film that definitely gets weird then you should check this out. The movie’s at its best when its just having a good time messing with you as the viewer. You’ll pick up a ton of little moments in the background that really help to amp up the experience. They could really do a sequel to this one if they ever felt like it but I suppose that’s probably not likely.

Overall 5/10

Nobody Review

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This review is of the TV-14 version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

Eh the movie poster is cooler since there are many more fists but this cover’s not so bad either. The film sort of betrays its own concept almost immediately as this “Nobody” is naturally a big Somebody. I like the idea a bit more of having an average family man have to contend with a big revenge flick but this one’s still okay. It taps into that John Wick kind of energy with the legendary fighter having to come out of retirement. The film does have to survive an extremely rocky start though.

The movie starts off by introducing us to Hutch who has been living a very repetitive life for a while now. Every day is basically the same as he lives it over and over and over again. There is little variety to be found at all and it’s just not very fulfilling. Well one day his home is invaded by two thieves and he doesn’t fight back or do much of anything so now everybody is making fun of him and his family has lost confidence in him. Hutch doesn’t seem to be the provider they thought he was. Hutch only gets serious when he finds out that they stole his daughter’s bracelet. Now it’s time for him to unleash his skills!

Now the film quickly tries to defend why Hutch didn’t do much in the opening scene. He noticed that the gun wasn’t loaded and didn’t want to escalate the situation. The problem is that this was still the wrong move by a longshot. These two are still unknown criminals who are breaking and entering. Additionally they are using blunt objects in order to cause a lot of damage. Just letting them get away with the money is terrible and even more so when his son stood up to defend the house and Hutch didn’t help at all.

No amount of explanations or hindsight was going to be enough to save Hutch here. He needed to defend his family, at the end of the day that is absolutely critical and he failed when it counted. The instant someone breaks into your house all bets are off and lethal force is absolutely authorized. Any time you hold back there you are putting the whole family at risk. This whole scene is important too because later on we see how Hutch is actually an expert fighter who can take out dozens of enemies. Dispatching the two intruders without seriously injuring them would have been another easy outcome for him.

So when all of the characters are poking fun at Hutch the whole time it’s hard to feel too bad for him. Obviously it’s not cool to be too unrelenting about the situation but trying to get Hutch to understand how he made a mistake was important. His brother in law even gives Hutch a gun which is a pretty sensible thing to do given the circumstances. The second half of the movie basically does become an unrelenting John Wick film as Hutch goes after everybody.

He ends up tangling with the mafia and so he begins to dispatch those guys as well. Now Hutch isn’t Superman or anything like that so he’s not invincible. The film does show that he needs help from an old friend and his father to actually come out of this alive. It was good to have that in there for a touch of realism especially since Hutch has been out of the game for so long. Now unfortunately the film does spoil the adventure by having an opening scene work as a time jump which is still one of the worst tropes. Ah well, I suppose the film had to fumble a little bit there.

The movie can be rather violent with some of the kills. The fight scenes themselves tend to not be too over the top but the finishing moves can be like Mortal Kombat. Hutch really tries to make an example of why you shouldn’t stand against him and the main villain has the same idea at a gala event. Both sides are no strangers to violence and to an extent you can even say they encourage it like when Hutch basically dares the villains to keep on fighting him.

In some ways I would say this film is really going through the action thriller motions. It’s not a film that you’re likely going to remember very well by the end of it. It’s a good movie but the story is one that we’ve all seen before. Even down to the origin story which plays itself beat for beat as many ex professional type films. I enjoyed the banter with Hutch and his allies even if that too is familiar. Sometimes you just want a solid action film that puts the fighting before the story itself. I would say this film definitely does that.

The villain is mainly forgettable. He’s your average gangster who knows how to fight but finds himself in a leadership role now. He’s not particularly patient with his minions and the guy is incredibly unstable. If you work for him then you may end up dying just on a whim. When the going gets tough, he does fight but doesn’t last all that long. That’s basically his whole character in a nutshell. I was more interested in what the cops were going to say about all of this although naturally they don’t get a ton to do. I imagine in the sequel we’ll see more out of them and the 3 letter agencies as they decide to take Hutch down just to be on the safe side.

Overall, Nobody is a decent movie but I don’t think it has the highest replay value. It takes a bit long for Hutch to finally go into action. The violence can be a bit try hard at times too. The film is really advertised as a big action title though so there were definitely no lies presented here. What you see is what you get and I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a solid action fix. I get the feeling that the sequel would be better though as here is a lot for the film to capitalize on here.

Overall 5/10