Category Archives: 7 Star Movies

Cosmic Monsters Review

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There’s always something comforting about watching an old creature feature film. The fun dialogue, the quick moving plot, it’s all just good stuff. Sometimes you barely even need the creatures around because the vibes are just good. This is an example of such a film that is very simple. I would go as far as to say it’s a super basic movie but it knows its objectives and clears them. This is a fun popcorn film you can check out at any time. The movie never drags on and you get a fun climax. I don’t really have any issues with this one even if I may have a hard time telling it apart from 5 others in a few years.

The film starts with some scientists trying to run a bunch of experiments with magnetic fields but they haven’t had any luck in a long while. The government has about had it with them and they have the gall to request more funds. These scientists are given one last chance but in the meantime hey will have to work with a new computer professional, Michele. These guys are not happy about this, they all grumble a whole lot about how a lady couldn’t possibly understand the work. They say she’ll be tough to work with and what have you. They whine so much that the government agent seems pretty happy about it and leaves them to the work. What they don’t realize is that these experiments may have real dangerous consequences.

I will say that I was glad Michele stood up to them right away. Not like it was too hard to be honest but she showed that she had the skills to keep up with them and they get on board quickly. Of course the film couldn’t resist the urge to immediately have some flirting thrown in there as well with Dr. Graham. It would have been perfect if that wasn’t a part of the dynamic at all so that Michele would have really just been one of the team ready to change the world with science.

Now at first you may think that Dr. Laird is just one of those classic mad scientists who slowly starts to get real extreme…and by the end you’ll still be thinking that. He’s not exactly subtle but that makes for a fun character type. The mad scientist has always been a really interesting character. You’re certainly not rooting for him but you can really appreciate the dedication to his craft. He really did come close to some amazing breakthroughs and actually got a few, just unintended from what he was after.

Dr. Graham is more your average main character. A good scientist who isn’t really extreme. He stops when things get too dangerous and knows his limits. Nothing wrong with that but it also means he won’t be a very memorable character. The cast is fairly small though so that helps his odds. You have the government who decides that this tech could be incredibly handy in combat but there’s mostly just the one or two point persons.

In a way the creature stuff almost seems like it’s getting in the way of the interesting consequences of these new innovations. Using magnetic fields in a way where you can cause gold to be brittle would naturally be really handy in wars or normal fights. You could have actually had some enemy officers trying to start a fight like the government expected. Instead, it’s aliens time! It’s not quite as exciting as you might expect though.

First off, it starts with a little girl who has no real survival instincts. Even after her mother warns her not to do this, she goes deep into the forest and talks to strangers. One of them is the mysterious man who seems to be interested in the experiments. This guy seems rather odd but the kid doesn’t notice. As the film goes on, we find out a little more about him. The thing is, this guy is very hesitant to act and do anything even when the stakes are high so you wonder what he was even going to do. If the main characters didn’t have a long talk with him, I guess he would have just silently left and maybe gotten some big weapons involved?

There is even a scene where we find out that the world might have to choose between one life (The crazy scientist trying to destroy the world) and the world itself. The alien admits that it would be a hard decision for him as he goes on about the importance of life and all. So maybe he is just an ultra pacifist to the extreme but the whole thing was not a good look for him. He talks as if humanity is so far beneath his people but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Perhaps scientifically but that would be it.

Also we do get a random mass murderer who shows up thanks to the radiation messing with him. He’s good for a few jump scares initially but there’s not much point to this except to try and get the characters closer to figuring out what is going on. Amidst all this, we have giant insects! Yes the gravitational fields also affect them along with radiation and such. I don’t really get why they didn’t just say the scientists were messing with radiation, would be a simpler way to get to the same end point. It’s all sci-fi though so ultimately I’m on board with it either way.

There isn’t a whole lot of time for the giant insects though as the film is basically over by then. It’s one of those sci-fi films that ends extremely quick. It’s going, you’re in the big climax and then it just suddenly ends. It’s always impressive when films do that because even as the viewer you’re just left shocked. I feel like it happens the most with sci-fi films too although that may just be since I’ve seen quite a few of those.

Overall, Cosmic Monsters is one of those films that goes by real fast. It’s a film that is very distracted though. There are just so many plots going on here and a lot of them barely have anything to do with each other until they collect at the end. I also think there shouldn’t have been a big messy romance here. Even the first guy is initially surprised when Michele is moving on but then basically congratulates the next man up. Not exactly broken up about this eh? He was being rather presumptuous either way. The film’s title may leave you disappointed if you are expecting a lot of cosmic monsters though. Go into this expecting a chaotic sci-fi film and trust me you will have a whole lot more fun! How can you go wrong with giant insects, a mad scientist, and aliens all in the same film?

Overall 7/10

Hellboy II: The Golden Army Review

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It’s time to finally look at the Hellboy sequel. While I don’t think it is quite able to beat the original, it’s pretty close and definitely makes for a strong film in its own right. We also get quite a lot of action here although Hellboy always feels completely out of his league. The heroes will need a considerable amount of plot armor if they want to succeed in this fight.

The film starts off with Hellboy and the team foiling another giant monster’s attempt to cause destruction upon the human world. Hellboy is starting to get real sick and tired of staying incognito though and intentionally causes the BPRD to be found out. Now he can operate publicly as a superhero of sorts. Well, that was the plan at least. Unfortunately this got his boss Tom in trouble so Johann is called in to get this squad back into professional shape. He came at a good time though as Prince Nuada shows up to try and jump start the end of the world.

He is assembling a golden crown and his sister Nuala was able to escape with one piece. The BPRD vow to protect her but Nuada easily defeats Hellboy in their first encounter. How can Hellboy possibly get strong enough to defeat an opponent like this? It’s not like he has any strong teammates to rely on after all.

Although this is why it’s good to have Johann around because this guy can actually fight rather well. He is essentially able to turn into smoke which makes him difficult to hit and he can spread his soul into different objects at once. The power does seem to have some limitations but on the whole he can do some real damage. He also gets a sad backstory so you’ll actually feel bad for him at different points. It’s also always tough to be the new guy suddenly having to be in charge of a bunch of rebels. The other characters already know each other after all so you are the odd man out.

Abe gets a fair amount of screentime here but as always he spends most of his time getting absolutely rocked. He is no match for Nuada’s right hand man and isn’t able to contribute much to the big battles. He may have found out that Liz was pregnant right away with his abilities but it’s not like that’s going to be super helpful overall. I don’t mind the guy but I wish he could be a whole lot more helpful when the going gets tough.

As for Liz, well she is busy with the drama between her and Hellboy for a lot of the film. She thinks that he is too much of a slob and the two of them fight about everything. Since she is pregnant, it’s not like she’s getting quite as much action here. Although since she is a long range fighter, I’d have liked her to have done a bit more here. I feel like she gives up on her fire being useful a little too quickly and could have done more in the climax. I still enjoy her character but the romance drama was a bit forced.

Hellboy always gets his witty dialogue and has nonstop confidence but it doesn’t always feel 100% earned with how many losses he takes. He wins the opening fight but it got dangerous for a little bit there. Then he is getting rocked in all of the matches with the swordsman. The problem is that the sword can pierce Hellboy and the main character usually relies on his strong durability being able to counter any attack. Once you breach his defenses, well Hellboy doesn’t have a whole lot more left at that point. I do like that his shotgun is still a whole meme with how it never actually works against the strong villains.

Tom’s role is greatly reduced here, but he’s still fun. He has some nice banter with Hellboy although he is always on the losing side of it. It would be nice if Hellboy could be a little more considerate of Tom’s position but that’s never the case here. Tom’s effectively on his own which is rough. As for the princess Nuala, she’s okay but it would be nice if she could fight more. She certainly has a stronger moral compass than Nuad but all she can do is run away. It would be nice if she had enough fighting abilities to go up against him one on one instead of relying on Hellboy and friends.

Nuada is a really solid villain though. He has a solid honor code and is fighting for a cause that he believes in. The guy does get angry when Hellboy murders his friend and also had his resolve tested early on when even his father did not believe in the mission. Nuada ends up being a really memorable figure and someone that helps to elevate the film.

I’d say what gives the first film the edge is the overall mysterious atmosphere. It felt like a 90s type of film even though it was newer because of how dark everything was. It felt like the film was always having things go on at night and it just worked really well. This one is definitely going for more world building and yet that removes some of the intrigue here. For example we have the alien market here where a lot of weird monsters are running around.

It’s like something out of a Star Wars film. It’s definitely strange and quirky yet I wouldn’t call it interesting. I can appreciate that it probably was a lot of work on the effects to pull it off but it’s not the kind of lore that gets to me. I was more eager to get to the fight scenes or back to the headquarters. Give me more screentime on the mystery of the golden crowns or Hellboy’s backstory but the general world building could be a bit weak.

Overall, Hellboy II was a solid film. It had a memorable final fight with how the characters had to constantly be on the move. The action in general was really good and the main cast is still likable. So there are a lot of things going for this film. I would recommend checking it out, especially if you enjoyed the first one. It continues where the story left off and while the newbie may not be here, the rest of the cast is around. It’s too bad they could never finish the trilogy here.

Overall 7/10

The Christmas Card Review

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It’s time for a very classic Hallmark film. This is the kind of film you picture when talking about the channel because it hits all of the classic notes. Now this does include a rebound romance so as always you’re going to want to steer away from that part of it but all the rest is on point. This is the kind of film that will leave you feeling jolly all the way forward.

The movie starts by introducing us to Cody who is serving in the army. His tour has gone mostly well but unfortunately one of his squadmates was murdered in the line of duty. Cody is forced to go on a leave of absence for a while and decides to pay a visit to a lady named Faith who sent him a card. See, there’s a program where you can send cards to people out in the army and Faith always participates. Cody may not know her personally but he wants to thank her for the gesture. Thing is, he didn’t realize how beautiful she was. Cody has fallen in love but the problem is that Faith already has a longterm boyfriend. Can Cody make his move before she gets married?

So this is where things get iffy. Some would say that as long as she doesn’t have a ring yet (Isn’t married) that it’s all fair game and you can still try to steal her away. This is only advice for the desperate though and personally you should leave someone alone if they’re already in a relationship. Even if you are able to win her over, now you know that someone else can do the same thing to you if she is so easily persuaded.

Additionally, it is going to make Faith look bad here. Now as the film goes on her boyfriend looks worse and worse. He’s rather stuffy, drinks a lot, and doesn’t know how to do manual labor. He also ignores her feelings in place of his and values work above all. So yeah he’s not great but they have been in a relationship for a very long time. She didn’t even expect to see him for the holidays since he was so busy. You need to keep this in mind because these were the expectations for their relationship.

Instead he shows up early and notices Cody around so a little rivalry begins here. Naturally as the film goes on Faith begins to waver and eventually joins team Cody. This drama takes up most of the film though as Faith even accepts her boyfriend’s proposal initially and still has an affair with Cody on the side. It’s a really bad look for all parties involved even once the boyfriend surrenders and gets out of there.

What you have to consider here is that for 99% of relationships there will always be someone hotter, smarter, funnier, cuter, etc. If you are always willing to “trade up” from your current partner to someone else, then that is a recipe for disaster. It’s the whole principle of why I’m against rebounds. You have to stick to your pick barring crazy stuff like abuse and such. So Faith shouldn’t have been wavering at all here and it’s why the romance just doesn’t work.

With a romance this bad you may figure that the film is doomed right? Well, that’s not how Hallmark rolls. It delivers a very complete product that can get past the romance. You’ve got great writing after all and a fun atmosphere. It’s the kind of film that reminds you of just how much fun Christmas can be. There is a lot of cheer going on and you get to see some baking and decorating the Christmas tree. It’s a lot of fun and the pacing is always good. Watching this makes you want to go outside and do something fun too.

The true cheat code to life is that you don’t have to wait until Christmas to have a fun time like this. You can make any day really fun if you put your mind to it. As a result this film would hold up whenever you watch it. While Faith’s father Luke was meddling a little too much, you can appreciate his devotion to his daughter. It can be hard to stay silent when you see your kid making a mistake. Especially when you “know” that it’s a mistake.

There was a good amount of banter here and the movie knows how to have a lot of fun with itself. So even if the romance misses, you still have the comedy. Now I think the film could have tried to be even lighter by not having the death at the beginning but I suppose it wanted to start with a somber tone. If the film really wanted to be perfect, it could have dodged the romance entirely and just focused on the good banter the whole time. Now that would have been a good idea, just have them be good friends.

Then the subplot would have been Cody showing Faith’s boyfriend the error of his ways and to cherish Faith now because you never know what the future will bring. Have him tie in the death from the beginning. Low key I think there’s a ton of potential there and then for the longtime Hallmark fans you would still have a solid romance going with the boyfriend becoming a better person.

Overall, The Christmas Letter is a pretty good film. It’s a very focused film that knows where the plot is going and there are no distractions. The atmosphere is nice and cozy the whole time and the pacing is on point. It’s a very easy film to watch and just makes for an enjoyable backdrop. If you have not seen this film yet then you will definitely want to change that. It’s also a reminder that even a quick act like writing a letter can really have a massive impact to someone else.

Overall 7/10

Journey Back To Christmas Review

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It’s time for a classic Hallmark Christmas movie! They always tend to do good work with these titles and I’m happy to say that this one is no exception. It even involves time travel which is absolutely a massive W. I always like to see that in any film since it adds some interesting concepts. Now the romance may not have been particularly strong in this one but the rest of the adventure is still solid overall.

The movie starts by introducing us to Hanna who has had a rough time of things since her husband was sent off to the war and is presumed to have been killed in action. Hanna has watched everyone go to these wars and feels like she has not really been able to contribute as much. She does get to save a dog who got lost in the cold though and does her best to help keep a kid stay cheerful even when he’s in a rough condition. Well, a time travelling comet shows up and brings her decades in the future to 2016. Now Hanna sees that her actions did lead the way to a whole lot of good changes. Is she stranded in the future?

Hanna’s a fun lead but I do have to say that she was a little slow on the uptake when it came to realizing that she had time traveled. Usually you get one or two freebies from me but after that you need to lock in. She was still running through stores and wondering where her house was after there should have been enough time to see that things were different. Even if she figured time travel was impossible, then she needs to consider that this is some kind of government experiment or aliens are around.

In any of those events, it would be in her best interest to act normally and play her moves carefully. Ah well, at least she was still a nice person and did her best to help the others with their own issues. She brought a good amount of cheer to the neighborhood and showed everyone what an old fashioned Christmas was like. We didn’t get the usual amount of Hallmark baking moments in this Christmas movie but we did get some caroling.

The main guy here is Jake and he’s not the most professional guy here. I did like the fact that he didn’t want to arrest Hanna straightaway the way the rest of the police wanted him to. He pointed out that she wasn’t dangerous and they could figure this out. Nothing wrong with that but where he faltered is when he actually fell for Hanna. You really can’t be getting involved with the suspects and it also meant that there was no way to root for him to get along with Sarah afterwards. It would make the whole thing a true rebound.

Jake tried to tell everyone that he was just being polite and that’s how the film should have played it out. Instead you have the jealous childhood friend doing her best to get Hanna out of the picture and it ends up making her look really petty which make the ship even harder to root for. That’s why the only good romance here was between Hanna and her husband since that one had a lot of development and you wanted the happy ending. The other plot didn’t really need to be included to be honest.

As always with the Hallmark films, this one has good pacing and quality writing. It’s why you can overlook a lot of things because you’re just having a lot of fun here. Even the main antagonist is fun as she keeps trying to encourage the cops to take Hanna away. She’s just being petty for no real good reason and acts like a real life grinch. Her husband tries to mind his business while he enjoys his dinner but it’s clear that she takes the flavor out of it. Some of these supporting characters don’t have much to do like the kid who finally learns to put the phone down but it’s to make the town feel very large so it’s probably worth it.

It’s also fortunate for Hanna that she wasn’t warped 100 years into the future. There are still a few people from her era who are still alive like Tobias who helps to add a lot of credibility to her claim. He was the kid that she helped from a while back so it’s also another way for her to see what a difference she made in so many lives. Without him, I like to think that the perfume would have still helped a lot because it was a discontinued model but I think it still wouldn’t have been quite as convincing.

So in the end my only negative would essentially be that Hanna was a bit too oblivious to all the context around her. It’s a small issue though and one you can look over. I wouldn’t have minded a proper confrontation with the one lady who was trying to stir up trouble as well but it would only work if you gave Hanna a different personality. She just wasn’t the combative type here. Maybe if you scrapped the backup romance plot, that would have left more time for a full character arc like that.

Overall, This won’t go down as one of the all time Hallmark titles but I had a good bit of fun with it. They could have done more with the time travel but the film was fairly short and I suppose they didn’t want to complicate things too much. If you like the formula then you should check this one out. It’s a reminder that every action has consequences even if you don’t get to see them in your lifetime. Hanna did a lot of good even if she would have never know it if not for the time travel. The ending itself is also very wholesome when she goes back to the past so I can appreciate that. A perfect film for Christmas season.

Overall 7/10

Red One Review

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It’s time for one of those Christmas titles that just gets you hyped right out of the gate. The stakes have never been higher with Christmas itself being on the line here. If you’re looking for a modern action blockbuster with tons of humor running around, then you have come to the right place. This is a very light hearted film with quick pacing so right away you will be able to tell if you are going to be a big fan of it or not. This film isn’t trying to hide what it’s all about. What you see is what you get.

The movie starts by introducing us to Callum who is the right hand man of Santa. He leads the guard detail at every event and makes sure that nobody gets to Santa. He has been doing this successfully for hundreds of years without any hiccups. Well, one day Santa is kidnapped and he will have to rely on the help of Jack, the world’s best underground hacker. This guy knows how to stay off the grid in most cases but gets picked up by the heroes and is essentially blackmailed into helping. It was Jack’s info that allowed the villains to breach the North Pole and so he has to make amends. He has no real training in the field though so he and Callum will have to put their differences aside in order to claim victory here.

Right off the gate you have the dynamic that this film will be going with. It’s the classic Buddy cop duo where both characters will be taking shots and digs at each other continuously while gradually learning how to respect each other. It may not exactly be a new dynamic but I have to say that it still works. Both characters are a lot of fun and it’s nice to see what they can do against the big villains.

Gryla is one of the big villains here and she is able to possess people as well as hear any conversation involving her name from anywhere across the planet. These may not be the most powerful abilities to have in an offensive way but at the same time she is widely feared. You can kind of understand why she wants to take all of the naughty people down because it becomes apparent that society has fallen under tough times. That said, she wants to also get anybody who has ever been naughty which is where she goes into full on psycho mode.

Her whole plan also revolved around the North Pole being ridiculously easy to infiltrate. If Callum had been there, then she likely would have failed right at the onset so I can’t say that she planned things out well at all. Once the characters get to where she is, things go south pretty quickly for her. There are some things she couldn’t have counted on like a certain other character getting involved but either way she needed a way to execute her plan quicker.

One subplot that didn’t add much to the equation was Jack’s family drama. We already know that he was a jerk, the deadbeat father part is meant to lead up to his big character revival but I could have done without that. Maybe save that for a sequel but in this one just lean into him being a jerk the whole time. Give him an ambiguous scene near the end where he does something good but doesn’t admit it and that’s how the viewer sees that he has changed. Adding in his kid for the bonding moments was a lot more in your face.

Callum of course has his crisis where he just has a hard time seeing the good in everyone anymore. As the film goes on, he is able to get back into a more positive mindset. A basic but more effective character arc if you ask me. He had only been faltering recently so it was easy to do a 180 compared to Jack who has been a mega jerk for ages. Jack even stole candy from a baby which was really crazy. Even at his lowest, Callum would have never done that.

The movie has a pretty good amount of world building so they could definitely build a franchise off of this. While Christmas is the main attraction here, the organization deals with any supernatural menaces so you could spread that into a lot of spinoffs. Even if this film never gets any sequels or spinoffs, it still helps to make the world feel pretty good for this one. The film doesn’t try to chomp all of the lore down for you so you can fill in some of the blanks.

Meanwhile the action is pretty solid. The hand to hand is on point and I always enjoy see Callum just threaten everyone to their faces. Now that takes a lot of guts and outside of one slap fight, he always has the upper hand at the ready. The soundtrack is also pretty good with some classic Christmas songs in there. The movie definitely feels nice and festive as a result. Like I mentioned before, the pacing is also pretty fast so the whole thing goes by really quickly. There’s a ton of replay value here and as long as you enjoy a good amount of humor during the adventure, you’ll be having a good time.

Callum definitely needs some better assistants though. Throughout the film it feels as though he doesn’t have anyone he can really rely on. Sure, Jack becomes that guy but for the most part, the other characters don’t even keep up the appearances of trying to help. Whether it’s letting villains get away or being taken out off screen, it’s just not a good look for them. If Callum did decide to retire, well I bet Santa would be captured real quick.

Overall, Red One is a pretty good film. It’s what I would call a very basic action blockbuster. There are a lot of laughs and fun action scenes. it never takes any real risks so you can bet that all of the jokes and fights are as safe as possible. That’s not a problem though because the execution is still on point the whole time and that’s what counts. You’ll be grinning along with the characters as things get real and they absolutely handle the situation. I could easily watch a sequel with the same cast because the dynamics work well. If you haven’t seen it yet, then you should definitely change that.

Overall 7/10

Retribution Review

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This review is of the TV-14 edited version of the film. All thoughts below should be addressed as such as a review of the unedited version would be more negative

It’s time for what I would consider to be a very simple thriller film. There aren’t a lot of twists and turns in this one outside of the ending. It’s all about a simple threat that is tough to shake and how the main character has to deal with it. The whole film essentially takes place inside a car so the film has to try and write around this. I’d say it does a pretty good job all things considered.

The film starts off by introducing us to Matt who leads a rather stressful life. He encourages clients to use his company for stock trading and then has to convince them to hang on even when they start to go into the red. It’s not an easy job by any means since nobody can completely predict the stock market. Additionally, this does affect people’s lives. You can lose millions of dollars in an instant if you are not careful….or even if you are careful. Well, one day he is driving his two kids over to school when someone calls and explains that he has put bombs under each of the seats. None of them can leave now and they must continue driving until this mysterious villain is satisfied. What demands will he make?

It’s a tough situation to get out of since it seems like death will be inevitable. Somehow the villain is able to watch them inside of the car and it could literally be anybody. There is no easy way to call his bluff on this without risking the two kids in the car. If Matt was by himself then perhaps he actually would try something like that but it’s just too reckless in this situation. So yeah the villain had a pretty good strategy at play here.

Now to address the elephant in the room, the kids are both pretty annoying. It takes them an incredibly long time to lock in here. While Matt wasn’t telling them what was going on for a while, I feel like they could have picked up on the context clues. It’s clear that something was going on after all so they should have been on their best behavior. By the end they were doing their best to defend Matt but it was a little late in the day for that. Meanwhile Matt can’t expect too much help from his wife in this one as we have some marital issues going on here.

That subplot didn’t really seem to be necessary. I feel like the deck was stacked against Matt enough in this film so it’s not like this was going to really change things. Still, I was glad she was still ready to help the kids and wasn’t letting them get hit in the crossfire. In a way, Matt having to watch the kids actually changed the villain’s plans somewhat.

One of the best scenes in the film is when the villain finally makes his appearance and delivers a grand speech. I have a big weakness for smug speeches like that where the villain just goes into detail on how completely he has won. There’s something really satisfying about it. The villain played his role well, even stressing Matt out with what I would consider to be some empty bluffs.

The villain was aided by the FBI here as their main fighter wasn’t the smartest. She seems to be absolutely determined to prove that Matt was the mastermind here even when it started to become apparent that this wasn’t the case. She was far too stubborn and that is not really becoming for someone in her position. It feels like there should have been many ways to verify Matt’s story or at least find some evidence. She just wasn’t giving him a single inch even when there were a lot of lives at stake. As a result, Matt really had to act on his own the whole time.

So how does the film stay interesting when it’s just Matt driving around the whole time? Well, that’s where the writing/mystery comes in handy. You’re wondering how Matt will be able to find anything out the whole time. He is starting this round out at such a massive disadvantage after all, it’s not easy to bridge that kind of distance. If there was no mystery then this may have faltered but the car angle just worked really well.

It would have been nice to have gotten a proper fight scene at the end of the film though. It wasn’t really that kind of film but it would have been the real cherry on top for the entertainment value. The final action scene still worked well though. Also the film has a fairly light tone even when serious stuff is going on. That works well for letting you just have fun with this. The first victim for example is so crazy that the scene isn’t as dark as it normally would be.

She is clearly told that there is a bomb in the car and it will blow up if she tries to get out. Despite this, she is trying for several minutes to busy the door down and run while her boyfriend tries to hold her back. Ultimately he isn’t able to do this and they blow up. Then you have another guy begging with Matt to let him live while ignoring the fact that Matt is on a phone and clearly taking orders. I mean, Matt could have absolutely been a lot more clear about the situation. Maybe he thought it would be too risky but he did let everyone think he was the villain when he didn’t really need to. This made his journey really tough in the end. So there’s technically a lot of sadness within the film but the tone rarely gets around to reflecting that.

Overall, This is a pretty fun film. It’s certainly nothing grand, the plot is straight forward and uncomplicated. That said, the pacing is good and the writing works well enough. I didn’t think the movie had any glaring weaknesses and it has a good amount of replay value. I’d definitely recommend checking it out whenever you have a chance. I think you will end up liking it more than you would have expected.

Overall 7/10

Blue Beetle Review

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It’s time for the big origin story for the Blue Beetle. This guy got a pretty big push in the 2000s and I dare say it worked since he has remained as a well above average character in terms of popularity. The movie works pretty well as an origin. You’d probably like for some of the characters to show a bit of urgency when things are getting real but the action scenes are on point and the special effects are really good.

The movie starts by introducing us to Jaime who just finished school and now he’s ready to get a job. Unfortunately it won’t be so easy and he finds out that his family has been through a whole lot of hardships while he was gone. He has always wanted to support them but it’s not so easy to just get rich. Well, his sister lands him a job but then gets him fired from it on basically the same day. I suppose you could say that cancels out but Jaime steps in to break up an argument between the CEO Victoria and her nice Jenny. This causes Jenny to feel bad for Jaime and offer him a job.

What Jaime doesn’t know is that Kord Industries is messing around with alien technology. Jenny wants to stop this and so she gives it to Jaime, but it ends up bonding with him as a kind of symbiote relationship. Now there is no escape for Jaime as he becomes the Blue Beetle. The alien wants to murder people and keep Jaime safe while Jaime just wants to be an ordinary dude. That will be difficult though as the whole company is after him, led by Carapax who also has alien powers thanks to the exosuit. Can Jaime defend himself?

For starters the film has pretty much everything you’d like to see in a movie. It’s got a quick pace, good action scenes, fun characters, and some good humor. I pretty much knew it would be a pretty good film early on. That said, it’s also fair to say that the film plays it pretty safe and so it wasn’t going to be a great film from early on as well. It’s going with the basics as opposed to trying to really wow you. Nothing wrong with that, but in a way I feel like that’s also what hurt it at the box office. It wasn’t really seen as a “must watch”.

Jaime is a decent main character. He cares about his family and likes being a hero. He’s certainly not going to be going around murdering anyone or anything like that. So he is someone that you can count on. That being said, he can also be a little slow on the ball. He starts crashing out when he finds out that it will be difficult to remove the scarab but it’s a cool alien armor that gives him powers. Why would you want to ditch it? Far as I’m concerned that is a net positive.

Then when the company attacks his family, I think he should have been a little outraged. Instead he takes it all very casually and as a result his family is further injured and it all feels very preventable. I get wanting to be careful not to really hurt the humans too badly of course but when they are after the family then you should really be gearing up to fight back right? That just feels logical to me at the very least.

So all in all he’s good, but not a great character. He is fun enough to keep the film going though and does beat most of the other family members. They can generally be a little bit too annoying to him. They mean well like with Milagro getting him the job but of course getting him fired was really rough because of how unnecessary the whole thing was. I did like Rudy though. He’s the big conspiracy nut of the family who goes around acting crazy and embarrassing at all times.

Unlike the others it really works because that’s a big part of his character. He will never accept the obvious and will do whatever he can to resist the government. It is his complete focus in life and what keeps him going. So his jokes always tended to land. The weakest family member would definitely be the grandma though. The film tries way too hard with her and all of her big moments tend to fall flat.

As far as Jenny goes, the romance feels a bit forced here. I don’t see how it all worked out with her and Jaime considering they barely knew each other. Also there was a ton of plot armor with Jaime going out for a drive and bumping into her so quickly while she was being chased by all the gunmen. Like sure that’s probably not going to be a very likely event in most cases. I’ll give her credit for standing up to corporate though and as a character she was pretty solid. She had a lot of willpower to stand up to all that danger.

Then there is the company’s muscle, Carapax. He makes for a pretty decent villain but I would say he is a better villain than character. My main problem with this guy is they wait real long to try and make him sympathetic and honestly it doesn’t work. He spends most of the film trying to murder a kid. I’m not exactly going to be feeling too bad for him. His origin story is rough as they squeezed in multiple sob stories into one event but he still did end up being a bad guy in the present. His final scene was also really weak and didn’t feel necessary.

There’s not a whole lot to say about Victoria. She’s your average CEO type main villain. Yes, Lex Luthor has always been an example of one who works but he’s often the exception. Most of these villains just come across as really generic and that’s basically what happened here. She’s not bad but you won’t remember her for very long. Meanwhile the action scenes are pretty fun. We never really get to see Blue Beetle completely cut loose so that would be in a sequel but you can already see how he would be a total threat in combat. He just has so many options for good attack patterns here.

I also enjoyed the scarab. Generally he’s always been a really fun character and this one was no exception. The music is also not bad. I wouldn’t call it the next Guardians of the Galaxy or anything but the soundtrack worked well within the film. I will say that the big cliffhanger to the film is more on the weak side though. It’s not terrible but it’s also not particularly compelling unless you are a really huge fan of a certain character. Personally I like this guy quite a bit and even then I wasn’t particularly hyped. It just needed a little something more.

Overall, Blue Beetle is a pretty good film. While some may take my calling it a basic film to be a bit of an insult, I would say it’s just that the film was focusing on nailing the fundamentals. They managed to pull this off which isn’t always easy. The movie has very few real negatives and the most important thing is that it will go by really quickly. For example not all of the jokes land in the film, but it is generally funnier than it isn’t and there are enough jokes where you know they will land most of them. At no point does the film start to really drag on or anything like that. Instead you will be enjoying the action and the fun throughout. I’m sure the sequel would have been really good too.

Overall 7/10

Hellboy Review

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It’s definitely been a long while since I’ve seen his one. The original Hellboy film was definitely a fun one and it’s the kind of random superhero film that you don’t see too much of. It kind of just throws you into a pretty big universe of characters and demons running around without trying to smooth it over with the general audience. You either like what they are going for right away or you don’t. There isn’t a whole lot of in between there and that works for me.

The film starts off during World War II with the Nazis trying to open some kind of portal to summon demons. The heroes stop them but find that a small demon has already gone through. He seems harmless enough and so they take him in. The demon is dubbed Hellboy and many years later, has become one of the best fighters in the BPRD. He is essentially immortal or at least has a long life as well as natural super strength and defenses. It’s good to have him on the side of the heroes although there are skeptics that think he should not be there. Some just don’t trust demons.

Well, that is where John comes in. He’s been transferred to help out at this unit as well as be Hellboy’s sidekick. Hellboy isn’t thrilled about this and gets even more upset when Tom appears to begin getting a crush on Liz, the girl that Hellboy likes. Now we have a bit of a rivalry when there isn’t time for one. The Nazi who fell into the portal has been revived along with his main two associates. They intend to continue their plans and Hellboy may be the only person on the planet who can stop them. Is he up to the task?

Now the subplot with Hellboy being upset at John is probably meant in part to be a bit irrational but I actually found myself being on his side. John did see to be trying to make a play while Liz was distracted by her never ending grief and so it was good that Hellboy was there to (literally) throw a rock into those plans. Ultimately it did mean he was away from the base when the villains arrived, but I’m not confident that he would have arrived in time anyway.

Hellboy is a solid lead, someone who is always ready for danger. He definitely doesn’t fear any kind of a threat of challenge and has a lot of confidence in his abilities. Perhaps his confidence does actually outweigh his abilities at times but I will always take that over being underconfident. Hellboy is one of those old school fighters who does a lot of solid posturing while winning the fight. He even has a giant gun that is useless 99% of the time but he still brings it to every mission to fire off a few shots.

Liz is a character who is rather tragic because her flame abilities are incredibly powerful but she has next to no mastery over them. They can go off at any point and often destroy tons of civilians when these outbursts happen. I give the film props for not shying away from that. There’s no quick mention about how everyone evacuated at the last second. No, she’s brought whole buildings down and lots of people have died which is why she is worried now. Definitely very valid.

In a way it does feel like the agency could have handled the situation a lot better instead of just leaving her to her own devices. Ah well, I look forward to seeing her in a more confident state in the sequel. We also have Abe helping the others as the resident mental specialist of the group. Unfortunately he really can’t fight very well so any action scene inevitably leads to him getting absolutely crushed. He was really not prepared for these fighters. Seems like a nice enough guy but you could basically write him out of the film.

As for John, he’s okay. The guy isn’t the most helpful but he does try his best. I do think he was fishy around Liz but other than that he is a decent member to the group. He doesn’t act completely shocked about every little twist which I’m glad about since some humans really overplay their hand in these films. Even if you never knew that demons existed for example, as an FBI agent you should be able to bluff pretty well.

The villains were surprisingly solid here. Kroenen is an experienced assassin who fights with a short blade at all times. He takes out quite a number of fighters in this film and what makes him scary is how he essentially cannot die. He is functionally immortal and will just keep on getting back up over and over again. A super soldier who does not tire, yes that is a fantastic premise for a villain.

Then we have the Sammael creature which also has a hard time dying. It gives Hellboy a really tough fight here. Technically Hellboy tends to always be the underdog in these fights but his endurance keeps him alive long enough to mount a comeback. I liked the design for the creature. Rasputin is a little more on the generic side. Nothing particularly wrong with him but he really has a hard time standing out. He also didn’t plan things out well in the end to put it mildly. The girl who was helping him never really got a role either.

That leads us to the best character in the film, Tom. Tom is one of those guys who just can’t stand demons. There are no exceptions for him and of course that means he doesn’t like Hellboy either. He takes a lot of shots at the demon and makes his voice known. Although this does result in Tom having to run away with his tail between his legs on multiple occasions. He can talk as tough as he wants after all but at the end of the day he is still just a human. He ends up burying the hatchet with Hellboy later on though.

The effects for the film have aged well and I also enjoyed the fights. They could be rather lengthy at times and the pacing is always quick. The film has the characters dealing a lot of damage to each other but never goes too far or feels particularly graphic. For the most part it’s your standard action film kind of action right here.

Overall, Hellboy is a fun film. It’s the kind of movie that ends before you really know it. It has no concrete weaknesses and keeps on moving forward with a very balanced approach. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a fun action film and the universe around it is fun enough where you may even be tempted to pick up a few of the comics. The romance can be a bit on the weaker side as there isn’t much time to develop it, but we’ll see how the sequel handles that. It’ll be difficult for the next villains to pass this group.

Overall 7/10

Paradise Canyon Review

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It’s time for the last of the John Wayne films in this marathon. This one has a bit of a larger cast than usual thanks to everyone from the medicine show. It’s a pretty fun way to end things and John has a fun time trolling everyone as per usual. He is always ready for a fight and is the smartest guy around. I’d also say the film is going for even more of a comedic spin than some of the other installments

The film starts off with John being tasked with a mission to stop all the counterfeit money being produced in a nearby town. He dashes over and a medicine show will be a good cover so he helps out a group that was on the run from the sheriff. This group is not the most professional so it could be risky but John knows he will have to take some risks here. After all the villains are led by Curly Joe, one of the most dangerous outlaws out there!

One thing that will probably annoy you right from the start is how John is protecting Doc and his travelling band of scammers. Yes, it will help him get into town and keep a low profile but these guys are actually con artists. Doc apparently gets dunk so regularly that his daughter isn’t even surprised anymore. He’s apparently promised her dozens and dozens of times that he would stop and yet instead he still gets disorderly and skips out on the bill.

Yes, the characters are played for comic relief but they’re still crooks. Doc should have found another way to get into town. Even to the end Doc never ends up being a good character but he is a fun antagonist if you view him that way. He even goes out of his way to antagonize the cops once he is right outside of the state lines. Definitely not something you would respect out of a more reputable character. The pair of thieves who work as his assistants are hardly any better either.

As for Linda, she’s mainly here for the inevitable romance plot. There’s not much development there, it’s just around to tick off a few boxes. As for Curly Joe, he’s fun enough. He stands out more than some of the other western villains. The guy knows that bribery is the only chance he’s really got against John once the hero gets serious. Ultimately it’s all for naught for him but the guy was doing well with his criminal enterprise for a long while so he did still know what he was doing.

John is a fun main character even if he had to compromise on his morals for a while there in order to get things working. At the end of the day he still saved everybody and really showed the villains who was boss. Curly may not have made the best sales pitch but it was still good to see John shut him down right away and even delivered some more good one liners.

As always, one of the things that really helps make these films so much fun are all of the one liners. You can expect witty dialogue across the board throughout the films. This one is no exception as everyone is rather overconfident and of course the script is good. I definitely miss these kinds of old school films for that reason. The songs can use a little work and temporarily slow down the pacing during the show but I guess the film anted to squeeze at least one show in.

The overall soundtrack is definitely iconic to me after I’ve seen so many of these though. Then the fight scenes also aged well with the good hand to hand fights as well as a little gun action. John is always able to come out on top. The pacing is good which goes without saying since the film is under an hour long. It’s not particularly hard to move at a fast pace when that’s your runtime after all. Technically the last maybe 15-20 minutes are all for the long climax so the film has its priorities straight.

Overall, Paradise Canyon is a pretty good film. The title itself doesn’t feel like it has much to do with the film at all but I suppose they just wanted a catchy title that is easy to remember. It definitely works in that respect. There isn’t a lot for me to say to really make this stand out from the others so I would just say that if you enjoy John Wayne films then you’ll like this one as well. This movie has it all, the classic frame up job, John taking on numerous enemies, long horse chase scenes, etc. They manage to squeeze all of this into under an hour as well. Now if you don’t like the old western setting or want to see something a bit more unique, then that’s the only reason to skip this one.

Overall 7/10

The Lucky Texan Review

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John Wayne has returned for another big fight. This time his adventure will deal with gold and naturally includes those who would like to steal it as well. There is no rest for the weary and in the end what will really give him a hard time is his partner this time. At the end of the day, you are only as strong as your weakest link after all and so that can get tricky.

The film starts off by introducing us to Jerry and Grandy who end up bumping into a pile of gold. They are now going to be rich and so they decide not to stake a claim on it yet since that would mean that everybody would find out about it. Instead they sell off a little bit at a time to the nearby gold depository. The problem is that Harris and Cole run this shop and they have some big ideas to rob the heroes and get rich themselves. Jerry is good at losing a tale, but Grandy is older and not quite as wise in the ways of the world. This could get tricky.

The movie does a good job of covering a whole lot within these 55 minutes. It feels like something is always happening here and the pacing is good. The writing and script are also both very solid as always which will come as no surprise to anyone who has been watching the John Wayne films. These films have a good sense of humor while always providing action and this film is no exception to that rule. The only annoying character here will be Grandy because the whole time he will have you shaking your head. He falls for the easiest traps imaginable and just makes life a lot harder for all of them.

The villains are easily able to sucker him into signing the wrong paper and then he gets shot. Additionally, by the end of the film he has the perfect witness testimony to put them behind bars but wants to make a big show out of it which ends up backfiring. Someone trips him up and the villains escape again. The whole courtroom scene was pretty fun and I definitely saw the vision but with lives at stake, Grandy had to do better. These villains will stop at nothing in their quest to be rich.

Fortunately Jerry is always ready to claim victory and is really good at chasing his opponents down. One thing you will really come to admire about his character is how easy he makes it look. He just continues to outwit the opponents at every turn and even makes getting arrested look cool. He is constantly in charge of the situation and you would want nothing more from your main character.

The villains themselves are a bit forgettable but I do have to give them some points for being smart. Working at a shop that trades in gold is a great way to be in a position to steal some. I do wonder how they had enough money to be running the shop and having all of that cash on hand though. Surely if they are this well off then they don’t need to be living a life of crime right? I mean they could just be greedy but it was surprising to see that they had actually balanced out a real job for so long. That in itself could be a bit of a twist. If the villains had also not gotten too greedy, they probably would have won in the end since they kept on stealing Grady’s horses and were well trusted in the gold business. They could have just shorted the heroes on each transaction. After all, they had no idea what the gold was worth and that’s why they were asking the villains. Just give a fake number that’s maybe 70% legit each time and eventually you’d have a fortune as well. I guess these villains were not the smartest in the bunch after all.

Yes, there is a bit of a romance that shows up near the end of the film but it really comes out of nowhere and doesn’t really do much to enhance the experience. It’s here to check off a few boxes but that’s it. The film is strong for the fight scenes and everything, not for the romance. Fortunately when a film is good on all of the fundamentals, it doesn’t matter too much that the romance is weak. The film will still survive.

The special effects in the film definitely work well and on the whole if you like a classic hand to hand fight then you are in luck since the choreography is good. This is the kind of film that everybody can enjoy without any real issues. The more you enjoy it, the more you will probably wish that the runtime could have been longer though. Still, it’s long enough to give you a full self contained story. By the time you’re done with the film, you can definitely appreciate why a lot of the old heroes would fly solo in the wild west though. Less teammates means less weaknesses.

Overall, There isn’t much more to say about this one. If you have enjoyed the John Wayne titles then this will be another good one to add to the collection. It’s always fun to see the process of obtaining gold back in the day. The wild west was really a different time and nowadays even if you found some gold, good luck finding a place to convert it while trying to be inconspicuous. There aren’t many Wayne films left for me to check out on the shortlist but you can count on at least one more review showing up pretty soon.

Overall 7/10